Memoirs of the life of Catherine Phillips: to which are added some of her epistles.

MEMOIRS, &c.

CHAP. I.

AS the dealings of the Almighty with me from my youth have been ſingular, and are worthy to be retained in remembrance with thankfulneſs, I have committed to writing ſome remarkable circumſtances of my life; tending to awaken future thankſgiving and watchfulneſs in myſelf; and, conſidering how wonderfully the divine arm has been manifeſted for my help, to encourage me to a ſteady truſt therein, and perſeverance in ſubmiſſion thereto: and in order to leave to my ſurviving relations, ſome memorials of the various exerciſes and dangers which I have paſſed through, and of the merciful ſupport and preſervation vouchſafed from the Lord therein.

But firſt it appears proper for me to leave a teſtimony to my parents, who not only profeſſed the truth, but had it in poſſeſſion. My father, Henry Payton, of Dudley in Worceſterſhire (ſon of John and Catherine Payton, reſpectable members in the ſociety of Friends), was called into the work of the miniſtry about the eighteenth year of his age; and, when young, travelled much in the ſervice of truth in divers parts of this nation, Ireland, and Scotland, as alſo in the American colonies: and from the teſtimonies of friends, I have good reaſon to believe that his ſervice was truly acceptable and edifying to the churches; his miniſtry being lively and clear, and his care not to exceed the openings of truth therein apparent. His deportment was grave, his conduct clean and ſteady, and his charity, in proportion to his circumſtances, diffuſive. He was an affectionate huſband, a tender father, and kind maſter; ſerviceable amongſt his neighbours, and beloved and reſpected by them. Many years before his deceaſe, he was diſabled not only for public ſervice in the miniſtry, but for acting in the private duties of life in providing for his family; being afflicted with a paralytic diſorder, under which his faculties gradually gave way. I was much his companion in his long weakneſs, reading to him and attending upon him; and can give this teſtimony reſpecting him, that he retained the favour of the divine life to the laſt; and frequently manifeſted a religious concern for his children, and particularly for me, his youngeſt child and tenderly beloved by him. He would often ſay, 'The Lord bleſs you my children,' when his ſpeech faltered ſo that he could articulate but little. In the ſeventy-fifth year of his age he was releaſed from his affliction, and I doubt not is entered into everlaſting bliſs.

My mother was the daughter of Henry and Elizabeth Fowler, of Eveſham in Worceſterſhire. She was a religious woman, endued with a ſtrong and ſteady underſtanding, and many and ſingular virtues whereby ſhe was fitted for the part ſhe had to act in life. This was peculiarly exerciſing in part, through my father's incapacity for buſineſs, the care of a pretty large and young family, and a conſiderable buſineſs (and that not of the kind the moſt fit for a woman) devolving upon her. When my father was diſabled from acting for his family, being engaged in a partnerſhip in one branch of buſineſs which terminated in great loſs of property, his affairs were in a very unſettled ſtate; all which, with other very trying circumſtances, my mother paſſed through with admirable ſteadineſs, fortitude, and patience; and through a long ſeries of neceſſary worldly engagements, ſhe was favoured to retain the beſt life. The Lord greatly bleſſed her endeavours for her children, in temporals; and I doubt not heard her prayers that the dew of heaven might reſt upon them. She would ſay, ſhe deſired not great riches for her children, but that they might dwell in the fear of God. Her ſteady and ſtrong conjugal affection was manifeſted in my father's long indiſpoſition, by tender attention; and after his deceaſe, by her frequent mentioning him in terms which evinced that their union was founded in that love, which death cannot diſſolve. She ſaid that when ſhe married him, ſhe was ſo far from being intimidated at the thought of his leaving her, to travel in his miniſterial office, that ſhe entered the ſolemn covenant, with a reſolution to do her utmoſt to ſet him at liberty therein; and when it pleaſed Divine Wiſdom to deprive her of a huſband whom ſhe might offer up to his ſervice, ſhe was deſirous that ſome one at leaſt of her offspring might be called to the miniſtry: which was fulfilled in me, whom ſhe bore rather late in life, and tenderly loved; but, I believe ſhe as freely dedicated me to the Lord as Hannah did Samuel, and was always ready to put me forward in his work; yet was weightily concerned that I might not run before my true guide. And although, after I was called to the miniſtry, it was my lot to be much abſent from her, ſhe never repined at it, but frequently encouraged and excited me to faithfulneſs: ſo that among the many mercies beſtowed by bounteous Providence, I may juſtly number as not the leaſt, the having ſuch a parent.

She was an affectionate mother to all her children, yet very quick-ſighted to their faults, ready to reprove them; and not ſubject to indulge them in childhood; but educated them in induſtry. In fine, ſhe was an example of fortitude, cheerfulneſs, gravity, induſtry, oeconomy, ſelf-denial, and reſignation to the divine will. She was generous to her friends; her houſe and heart always open to receive the Lord's meſſengers: for which ſhe would ſay ſhe thought a bleſſing was dropped upon her family. She was charitable to the poor; rather chooſing to ſave from other expences, that ſhe might have to diſpenſe. She died in the ninety-firſt year of her age; and retained a conſiderable degree of ſoundneſs of judgment until near the cloſe of a uſeful, but careful life.

Thus deſcended, it may be ſuppoſed I was in the way to receive religious inſtruction from my infancy; and indeed I cannot date the firſt dawn of divine light upon my ſoul; for with humble thankfulneſs I may ſay, that early in the morning of life I knew the Lord to be a God nigh at hand; convincing of evil, and raiſing breathings after the ſaving knowledge of his divine love and power. Friends who travelled in the miniſtry uſually lodged at my father's houſe. I loved their company when but very young, and their tender notice of me I commemorate with gratitude. And here I remark, that if our youth prized the favour of the company and converſe of ſuch whoſe "feet appear beautiful upon the mountains of ſalvation, and who have had large experience of the love of God, they might profit much thereby.—But, alas! how often do ſome avoid their company, ſcarcely giving them an opportunity of manifeſting to them that tender affection, wherewith their ſpirits are clothed; being probably afraid of reproof, on account of their indulging in liberties, contrary to the pure liberty of truth; which they think hard, although it be given in that love which ſeeks the true happineſs of their ſouls. I could read well when very young, and (as is before hinted) ſpending much time with my afflicted father, I read much to him; and the experiences and ſufferings of faithful martyrs, and of our worthy friends, with the accounts of the glorious exit of ſuch as launched out of time in full aſſurance of everlaſting bliſs, made profitable impreſſions upon my mind; my ſpirit being often tendered thereby, and my love of virtue and piety ſtrengthened; ſo that I may truly ſay that ſuch holy perſons, though they are dead, yet ſpeak. May their language be heard by the youth of the preſent and ſucceeding generations; and excite them to eſchew the paths of vanity, and to follow the footſteps of Chriſt's companions. So will the ſong of his redeemed be theirs.

But, notwithſtanding theſe promiſing beginnings, as I grew up, I yielded to divers temptations, and was allured from the ſimplicity of truth; the evil propenſities in nature getting the aſcendency. But even in my childhood I experienced many conflicts, and my convictions for evil were ſtrong; ſo that at times my heart was ſorrowful, and my pillow watered with my tears, although my countenance and deportment were moſtly cheerful. Once, having yielded to temptation, my ſenſe of guilt was ſuch, that I concluded I had ſinned againſt the Holy Ghoſt; and that, agreeably to Chriſt's teſtimony, I "ſhould never be forgiven." This ſo affected my tender mind with ſorrow and unutterable diſtreſs, that it could not be entirely concealed from the family; although I was enabled, even in childhood, to keep my exerciſes of mind much to myſelf. I think I muſt have been about eight or nine years old when it was thus with me; and as in my childhood I was ſeveral times viſited with fevers, which brought me very low, I was led to conſider how I was prepared for the awful change wherewith I was threatened; and a weighty ſenſe reſted upon my ſpirit, that my ſoul was not pure enough for admittance into Chriſt's holy kingdom. Sometimes I would covenant with the Lord to be more circumſpect and watchful for the future; but the airy natural diſpoſition again got the aſcendency, whereby again an occaſion for repentance would ariſe. My natural diſpoſition was very volatile, and my apprehenſion quick; and as my faculties opened, I delighted much in books of a very contrary nature and tendency to thoſe which had engaged my attention in my childhood. I had a near relation, who, notwithſtanding his having been divinely favoured in his youth, had ſlighted his ſoul's mercies, and purſued lying vanities. He kept houſe in the town; and through him, myſelf, and my ſiſters, had opportunities of obtaining plays and romances, which I read with avidity. I alſo ſpent ſo much time at his houſe as to be introduced into amuſements very inconſiſtent with the ſimplicity of truth, and my former religious impreſſions; ſo that my ſtate was indeed dangerous, and but for the interpoſition of Divine Providence, I had been left to purſue courſes which muſt have terminated deplorably. I alſo read hiſtory, was fond of poetry, and had a taſte for philoſophy; ſo that I was in the way to embelliſh my underſtanding (as is the common phraſe), and become accompliſhed to ſhine in converſation; which might have tended to feed the vain proud nature, render me pleaſing to thoſe who were in it, and make me conſpicuous in the world. But the Lord, in his wiſdom, deſigned to bring me to public view in a line directly oppoſite to worldly wiſdom, pleaſure, or honour; and when he was pleaſed more fully to open to my underſtanding his great and glorious work of renovation of ſpirit, I ſaw that I muſt deſiſt from theſe amuſing publications and ſtudies, and purſue the one neceſſary buſineſs, viz. working out the ſalvation of my immortal ſoul: and I eſteem it a great mercy that I readily attended to this intimation. However lawful it may be, in proper ſeaſons, to look into the works of nature, and become acquainted with the hiſtory of former or preſent times, my attention was now powerfully attracted to higher ſubjects; and had I purſued thoſe lower things, I might have become as a "veſſel marred upon the wheel." This is, alas! the caſe with many who have been divinely viſited, but who, not deeply and ſteadily attending to the inſtructions of pure wiſdom, but ſeeking to be wiſe and learned; in matters which merely relate to this preſent ſtate, have not advanced in the ſimplicity of divine knowledge; and although it has remained obvious that the Lord's hand has mercifully been turned upon them to form them for his ſervice, they have not grown up to that degree of uſefulneſs in Chriſt's church, whereto they might have attained, had they paſſively abode the turnings of his preparing hand. Were the ſons and daughters of our religious ſociety, who are favoured with good natural underſtandings, clothed with heavenly wiſdom, they would become and appear truly great, in the dignified ſimplicity and humility of the ſervice of the King of kings. Human knowledge and acquirements too often puff up the minds of youth; and indeed ſome of more advanced age pride themſelves therein, when, as examples to the riſing generation, they ſhould be clothed with humility. It was obſerved of a truly honourable member of our favoured ſociety, that 'he was a divine and a naturaliſt, and all of the Almighty's making.'William Penn's Account of George Fox. I have read very little on natural philoſophy, and am not in a diſpoſition to boaſt of my acquired knowledge, of either human, natural, or divine things; but I may ſay, that I have admired how by one gleam of heavenly light the underſtanding is opened into natural things; ſo as in degree to behold, as at one view, the general oeconomy of the divine Former of all things, as it is diſplayed in the outward creation. This produces adoration to him under the humbling ſenſe of his power, mercy, and wiſdom, as well as admiration of his works; and diſcovers that they are indeed marvellous, and in their full extent incomprehenſible; and impoſſible to be traced in innumerable ages. Therefore, let not the faculties of his adopted children be ſo improperly occupied in exploring them, as to prevent their advances in their various ſtations in his militant church: when happily their ſouls are fixed in the triumphant, they will know ſo much, as for ever to inſpire the angelic ſong of Great and marvellous are thy works, Lord God Almighty, in wiſdom haſt thou made them all!

From theſe remarks I return to my education, which, whilſt I was at home, had not been entirely neglected, as to uſeful and neceſſary learning; yet, as through the afflicted circumſtances of our family, I had been kept pretty cloſely there until I had attained my ſixteenth year, my mother concluded to ſend me to London, and put me for one year under the care of Rachel Trafford, who, with her ſiſter, kept a reſpectable boarding-ſchool; not doubting her attention to me, as ſhe when young had ſpent a conſiderable time in my father's family: and indeed ſhe was affectionately kind to me; and, as a miniſter as well as miſtreſs, I believe her mind was frequently exerciſed for the religious improvement of her ſcholars, which at times was manifeſted by verbal ſupplication for them, as well as advice and reproof.

I improved much for the time I ſtaid in the ſchool, in ſome arts taught in it; and my ſchool-fellows behaved well to me; but being ſo far advanced toward maturity, tall, and proportionably grown for my age, I looked rather too much like a woman for a ſchool; yet ſome of my ſchool-fellows were older than myſelf, which I believe increaſed my miſtreſs's anxious ſolicitude for our preſervation, we being (to uſe her own expreſſion) a ſchool of women. I ſoon connected myſelf moſt intimately with my miſtreſs's niece, who acted as a teacher, and with one of the ſcholars, a ſenſible agreeable well-behaved young woman, but not of our ſociety, who was admitted into the ſchool to qualify herſelf in needle-work, for a ſchool-miſtreſs. As neither of them were much under the influence of religion, I did not profit by their converſation, in the moſt eſſential reſpect. But after I had been a few months in the ſchool, I was favoured with a renewed viſitation of divine love, and grew uneaſy with my ſituation. Home became deſirable, although I knew it to be a houſe of affliction; and on my intimating it to my dear mother, my brother James fetched me there, ſooner than ſhe intended when I left her.

Thus far I have commemorated the dealings of the Almighty with my ſoul, manifeſted principally in tender mercy; but now the day was coming wherein his righteous judgments were manifeſted againſt all that was high, and oppoſite to his pure ſpirit; in which day my wanderings from him, the Shepherd of Iſrael, were brought to my remembrance, and my ſins ſet in order before me; which wrought great humiliation and brokenneſs of heart, with ſtrong cries to him, that he would graciouſly paſs by my tranſgreſſions, and receive me into covenant with himſelf. And although this diſpenſation was not agreeable to degenerated nature, which, like Adam when he had tranſgreſſed, ſeeks to evade the condemnation; yet, becauſe of the glory which I was favoured to diſcover beyond it, and the divine love which I ſaw therein, I ſaid, in the ſecret of my ſoul, "It is good for me to be under it;" and I was made willing patiently to abide the judgments of the Lord for ſin, in order that I might witneſs remiſſion thereof through the baptiſm of repentance, and the ſanctifying life or ſpirit of his Son Jeſus Chriſt. And this mercy, in the appointed ſeaſon of infinite wiſdom, I experienced; ſo that my paſt tranſgreſſions were blotted out of the book of remembrance, upon the terms of my future ſteady perſeverance in the fear of God; and in the ſenſible exaltation of the attribute of divine mercy over judgment, my ſoul rejoiced with humble thankfulneſs. Yet as when the children of Iſrael were delivered out of Egypt, and travelled through the wilderneſs, they had there new trials of various kinds to encounter, inſomuch that they thought their ſufferings rather increaſed than diminiſhed, and frequently feared periſhing in that deſert land; 〈1 page duplicate〉 ſo, being now relieved from the oppreſſive weight of paſt actual tranſgreſſion, and travelling after the ſaints promiſſed inheritance, which is a ſtate of eſtabliſhment in righteouſneſs, I had to paſs, to the attainment thereof, through many deep baptiſms and exerciſes of faith and patience. I was now brought into my own heart, which, by reaſon of the irregularity of its paſſions and inclinations, might well be compared to an uncultivated wilderneſs; through which I muſt travel, and wherein I muſt receive the law for the ordering of my outward conduct: and O! the ſeaſons of hunger and thirſt, the toſſings and perplexities, the "thunderings, lightnings, and tempeſts," which ſeemed to threaten deſtruction, which I had to paſs through in that day, are to be had in everlaſting remembrance; with thankſgiving to that divine hand which preſerved me from being ſo far diſmayed at them as to look back with a deſire to return to that country, or ſtate, from which I had happily eſcaped. The adverſary here transformed himſelf as into an angel of light, and, under the ſpecious appearance of righteouſneſs, repreſented the way ſo ſtrait, that it was impoſſible to walk therein and act as a rational being; thereby endeavouring to diſcourage me, or prevent my attaining to the true goſpel liberty, in the uſe of the creatures, and the courſe of my conduct. Indeed, in this ſeaſon of deep diſtreſs, both the earth and heavens were ſhaken; ſome of thoſe religious principles, which I had received by education, were called in queſtion; and I was left without any foundation of certainty reſpecting them; nor could I attain to it by the teſtimony of others, or the writings of ſuch as had vindicated them to the world; being to receive my convincement of them, from the deep ground of divine revelation.

All which I have ſeen was neceſſary to fit me for the ſervice which was appointed me; that the foundations of my faith might be laid in certainty, and that I might be able to teſtify with boldneſs, that I had experienced what I aſſerted to be the truth; and be alſo ſuitably qualified to ſympathize with, and miniſter to, ſuch as were in the like ſtates. I ſaw early for what ſtation I was deſigned in Chriſt's church. This manifeſtation of the divine will, my ſoul received with a good degree of reſignation; nevertheleſs, until the Lord's time for putting me forth to ſervice was come, I was frequently aſſaulted with fears, leſt it ſhould be required of me at ſuch times, and in ſuch manners, as would be doubly hard to fleſh and blood: and the adverſary was very buſy with his preſentations, intending thereby either to diſpirit my mind from purſuing its proper duty, or, by hurrying me into what had the appearance thereof, to bring me into confuſion. But, in all theſe voices of the ſtranger, there was a want of that certainty, which I had concluded ſhould attend ſuch a diſcovery of the divine will, and which I was happily led to look for; and I was at length ſtrengthened to covenant with the Almighty, that whenever the evidence was clear and ſtrong, I would ſubmit thereto.

And here it may not be unprofitable to remark, that ſome minds are more liable to be thus affected than others. Such as have a ſtrong and quick imagination, and whoſe hearts have been deeply affected with the exceeding ſinfulneſs of ſin, and of the love of God to mankind; whoſe deſires are ſtrong, that the one might come to an end, and the other abound in the earth; it is difficult for theſe at all times (eſpecially when young in religious experience) to keep the quiet habitation, wherein alone the voice of the true Shepherd is to be heard, and diſtinguiſhed from that of the ſtranger's. But as the will becomes gradually reſigned to that of God, and the imagination in its natural working ſilenced, and the ſoul comes more conſtantly to worſhip in the Lord's temple; the adverſary in theſe falſe appearances is bound, or if ſuffered to preſent them, there is ſtrength acquired to ſtand ſtill and try the ſpirits. This I have ſeen, in the light of truth, to be abſolutely neceſſary before we move in the Lord's ſervice; the want of which has been productive of much confuſion, and adminiſtered cauſe of reproach on our high and holy profeſſion, to ſuch who are ſeeking for an occaſion to lay waſte the belief in divine revelation.

But to return:—Being come to the aforeſaid ſtate of reſignation, I waited quietly to diſcern the puttings forth of the divine hand, in a ſtate of earneſt prayer that I might not be ſuffered to move before the proper time; which I have good ground to believe was heard and anſwered; and that from the motion of divine life I was conſtrained to ſupplicate the Almighty in our little meeting at Dudley, the tenth day of the Second month, 1748, being then newly entered the twenty-ſecond year of my age. May ſuch of the Lord's children, whom he appoints to the ſolemn important ſervice of the miniſtry, humbly and patiently wait to know when to move therein; as through neglect of it ſome have ſtept into it, before they have fully paſſed through the diſpenſation of preparation for it; and, if ever they have become ſtrong in his ſervice, they have continued long in a ſtate of weakneſs. Yet let none deſpiſe "the day of ſmall things." A few words ſpoken under divine direction, are often bleſſed to thoſe to whom the Maſter of the ſolemn aſſemblies directs them.

I continued to miniſter, as the Lord was pleaſed to give me ability, in great brokenneſs of heart, and for a time in but a few words; for great fear was upon my ſpirit leſt I ſhould miniſter in the wiſdom of the creature, which ever brings death, and begets its like: and, in a ſenſe of this danger, ſtrong were my cries to the Almighty, that what I handed forth to the people might be unmixed, let it appear ever ſo ſimple or deſpiſable in the view of the worldly wiſe and learned. And as I then continued to move in fear and trembling, the Lord was with me, and enlarged my underſtanding, and increaſed my ſervice in the openings of truth: at which his people rejoiced, and, in obedience to his requirings I felt ſweet peace. Yet was my ſpirit frequently in heavineſs, being humbled with many deep exerciſes, which I found profitable to eſtabliſh it in righteouſneſs, although painful to nature. And I leave it as an obſervation, that I have ſeldom, if ever, ſeen any ſtand, and arrive to any conſiderable degree of uſefulneſs in the church, whoſe foundation have not been deeply laid in afflictions and exerciſes; whereby they are crucified with Chriſt, and ſhall therefore riſe with him to glory and honour, in the preſent as well as in a future ſtate. But in all my afflictions and deep baptiſms, the Shepherd of Iſrael was with me, and preſerved and ſupported my ſpirit to the honour of his own nature, to whom alone I could attribute the praiſe: for in thoſe allotted days and years of tribulation, very little inſtrumental help was afforded me; my lot being caſt in a quarter, where there were none near who were capable of giving me much aſſiſtance or wiſe counſel, not having trodden the ſame ſteps. I ſometimes thought my caſe was hidden from ſome of the Lord's ſervants, who were concerned to viſit his heritage; or elſe that they were in part reſtrained from miniſtering to it; and my tongue was much ſealed in ſilence, for my exerciſes were incommunicable.

All this I ſaw to be of excellent uſe, as the contrary might have led to a dependance on the ſervants (which ever brings weakneſs); or have been productive of confuſion, through my imparting my caſe to ſuch as were not ſkilful to miniſter to it, and who nevertheleſs might have adviſed therein. I have ſeen it to be profitable and neceſſary for ſuch as are in a ſtate of infancy in religion, to dwell with their exerciſes; leaning ſimply on that arm, which alone is able to carry through them; and, until the mind has acquired a depth of judgment to diſtinguiſh clearly who is on the Lord's ſide, to be very cautious to whom they communicate them; leſt they be wounded, by diſcovering thoſe, whom they have choſen for their friends, to be enemies to the croſs of Chriſt. Yet when the Lord directs, in times of great ſtrait, to adviſe with ſome experienced ſervant, it will undoubtedly be advantageous; and a ſteady ſympathizing friend is a great ſtrength and bleſſing, when it is afforded in divine wiſdom.

I am inclined to cloſe this chapter with a little poem, which I wrote in my nineteenth year; as it has been handed about in manuſcript, and ſuffered much by copying. It is even in print, and one whole verſe omitted. Between my eighteenth and twenty-ſecond year I penned ſeveral ſmall tracts, all of a religious nature; but ſoon after I appeared in the miniſtry, I dropped my pen in regard to verſes. I do not ſay it was a ſacrifice required; but the continuing of the practice might have proved a ſhare ſome way: it might have engaged my attention too much, or tended to make me popular, which I have ever guarded againſt, perhaps too much ſo in ſome points; but I was early afraid of my mind and ſervices being tarniſhed with vanity. And here I may add, that from the time I came from ſchool, I read but little, ſave religious books; and after I appeared in the miniſtry, until late in life, reading even them was much taken from me, except the ſcriptures: all which I believe was in divine wiſdom, that I might not miniſter from what I had gathered from religious writings; but might receive the arguments I was enabled to advance on behalf of the truth, by the immediate revelation of the Holy Spirit. And I can with truth ſay, that the Lord has been to me, mouth and wiſdom, tongue and utterance, to my own humbling admiration. May all the praiſe be given to him now and for ever!

A PRAYER FOR WISDOM. MAKER ſupreme, of heav'n and earth, Of ſea, of air, and ſky; O! thou who gav'ſt to all things birth, Lord, hear me when I cry. To Thee, inviſible, I'll pray, Thou only righteous God; And Thee, omnipotent, obey, And fear thy dreadful rod. Riches or life, I do not crave, Nor any tranſient things; The one has wings, and in the grave Are laid the proudeſt kings. 'Tis heav'nly wiſdom I admire; 'Tis this is my requeſt: Oh, grant, great God, this my deſire, And I am fully bleſt: Wiſdom to worſhip thee aright, To underſtand thy will, To do my duty in thy ſight, And thy commands fulfil: That when my fleeting ſands are run, And death ſhall ſet me free; When the ſhort thread of life is ſpun, My ſoul may fly to thee: Where I ſhall live eternally, And fear no end of time; But praiſe thy name, enthron'd on high, Thou pow'ful God divine, Not with a weak and mortal voice, But in celeſtial ſtrains; In heav'n, the centre of my joys, And end of all my pains.

CHAP. II.

HAVING now entered the liſt of publick combatants in the Lamb's army, I pretty ſoon became concerned to travel for the promotion of truth and righteouſneſs; and for more than twenty years, had but little intermiſſion from goſpel labours.

In the Fifth month, 1749 (old ſtile) I left home, in order to viſit ſome part of Wales; in which journey my dear friend Lucy Bradley was made willing to accompany me (although, as ſhe ſaid, ſhe knew not that her call to ſervice was much farther than to aſſiſt me); with whom I travelled in ſweet unity, ſhe being a true ſympathizing friend, and deep travailler in ſpirit, as well as rightly qualified publickly to miniſter. We viſited the meetings of Friends in Radnorſhire, Monmouthſhire, Glamorganſhire, Pembrokeſhire, and part of North Wales; and in about ſeven weeks I returned home in peace and thankfulneſs, to my dear mother and relations; who had been made willing to give me up for truth's ſake, and gladly received me back. In this journey the principal ſhare of the publick ſervice fell to my lot; wherein the Lord was evidently with me, ſtrengthening for the work of the day to the honour of his own name; and the teſtimony of truth was ſometimes exalted, in its own authority, over the libertine and hypocritical profeſſors of it. The youth, and tender honeſt-minded, were viſited and refreſhed in divine love; liberty and ſtrength were afforded to declare it to thoſe not of our ſociety; and I had ground to hope that our labour was not entirely in vain: ſome perſons being powerfully affected, who, I hope, long retained a ſenſe of that viſitation; particularly William Phillips from Cornwall, who was then upon a viſit to his relations at Swanſea.

In leſs than a week after my return from this journey, I went to the circular yearly meeting for the ſeven weſtern countries, which was held this year at Coventry, and was very large, and, in the main, ſatisfactory. It was attended by many valuable experienced miniſters, who were careful of laying hands ſuddenly upon me; although I had good reaſon to believe that the moſt weighty of them loved me; but were fearful of hurting me by diſcovering too much of their approbation or affection; which ſome minds, in the infancy of religious experience, have not been able to bear. After my return from this meeting, I was ſtripped of that ſtrength wherewith the Almighty had been pleaſed to clothe me; which, with ſome other diſcouragement I met with, ſunk me very low, inſomuch that I was ready to doubt of all I had known, and call in queſtion my commiſſion to miniſter: and my ſoul was attacked by the adverſary in ſome of his moſt ſubtil appearances, and baptized into a cloud of darkneſs. This diſpenſation I afterwards ſaw to be ſerviceable; the more ſo, as before my return from my Welſh journey, I had a proſpect of another into the weſt of England; for therein I forgot all my former ſervices, was emptied of all ſelf-ſufficiency, and became weak and depending as when I firſt engaged in the weighty ſervice of the miniſtry: and it lives in my experience, that thus the Lord will deal with his ſervants, for their preſervation, that they may dwell in a continual ſenſe, that the excellency is of Him; from whom proceeds wiſdom, power, light, utterance, peace, and every good gift.

My concern for the weſt continuing and increaſing, I imparted it to my relations, who being willing to give me up (though ſorry to part with me), I ſought for a companion, but could hear of none ſuitable. This added to my exerciſe; for it ſeemed very dangerous for ſuch a child as I, to travel alone; but after waiting as long as I durſt, I laid my concern before Friends of our Monthly meeting, and requeſted their certificate,Should any one not acquainted with Friends diſcipline read theſe Memoirs, it is not improper to obſerve, that, when a miniſter, approved amongſt them, believes it his or her duty to viſit a diſtant part of the nation, &c. a certificate is given of the unity of Friends of the monthly meeting whereof ſuch miniſter is a member, that Friends where they travel may be aſſured that they do not move in ſo weighty a ſervice without the concurrence of their Friends at home: alſo that the laying on of hands mentioned in the preceding page, is only to be underſtood as a figurative expreſſion. but told them that I knew of no companion; and if they had not been free to let me go alone, I believe I ſhould have been eaſy to have waited longer; but they gave me a certificate; and in the Eleventh month, 1749, I left home in great humility and fear, being accompanied by my dear brother James Payton, who went with me to ſeveral meetings in our own county, and left me not without ſome doubt on account of the natural weakneſs of my conſtitution, which he feared might ſuffer in this winter's journey. I proceeded to Briſtol, and from thence, through part of the counties of Wilts, Somerſet, Dorſet, and Devon, to Penzance in Cornwall, and returned back to that city in the ſpring.

And although I went from home alone, I was not much without a ſuitable companion, the Almighty putting it into the heart of one or other of his ſervants to accompany me. Mary Fry, of Sutton in Wiltſhire, went with me through Dorſetſhire; and Mary Pole, of Milverton in Somerſetſhire, through Devonſhire and Cornwall; who were both very tender of me, and ſerviceable to me. The latter was not in the miniſtry, but a ſolid ſympathizing friend, and true labourer in ſpirit in meetings.

I viſited the meetings of Friends pretty generally in Dorſetſhire, Devonſhire, and Cornwall; ſome of which were attended by many people of other ſocieties; before whom the Lord gave me boldneſs to teſtify of his truth with good authority, and to lay open the falſe and dangerous opinions of ſome profeſſed Chriſtians, particularly that of unconditional election and reprobation; which dark principle was then likely to gain ground in theſe parts. I was concerned to appoint meetings at ſeveral places, where Friends had no meeting-houſes; all which I hope had their ſervice. At Truro in Cornwall, I had a ſatisfactory meeting, although the people at that town had heretofore manifeſted their diſlike to Friends labouring among them; but they behaved pretty peaceably now, and I had cauſe to believe my ſervice in this meeting tended to open the way for the circular yearly meeting to be held here; which it was in the year 1752, much to the ſatisfaction of Friends. At Bath, in my return, I was concerned to appoint a meeting for the ſtrangers in town (it being the ſeaſon for drinking the waters); to which ſome of them came, and it was a memorable opportunity, the power of truth being exalted to the reducing of their light and airy ſpirits, to ſome degree of ſolidity; for which my ſoul bowed in thankfulneſs to Him who calls to and qualifies for his ſervice. In this meeting a man ſat oppoſite to me, who wrote by intervals while I was ſpeaking, and I apprehended was taking down what I ſaid; but my ſpirit was borne above looking at that, being bound to the teſtimony of truth.

After ſtaying about a week at Briſtol, I went for the Welſh yearly meeting, which was held this year at Brecknock, being accompanied by John Curtis, a valuable miniſter of Briſtol, and divers other Friends. In our way we appointed meetings at Caerleon, Pontypool, and Abergavenny; at the firſt of which places, I could not find that there had ever been a meeting before; but the people behaved well, and I hope it ended to the ſatisfaction of the fenſible friends preſent. It was held upon a Firſt-day in the afternoon; and while we were in it, a number of people were going about the ſtreet with a fiddle; it being the cuſtom in ſome places in Wales, after what they call divine ſervice, to entertain themſelves with muſick, or other diverſions. What an inconſiſtency!

That at Abergavenny was large, and I hope of ſervice, in opening the way of the teſtimony amongſt the people. Here a Preſbyterian preacher made ſome diſturbance in the cloſe of it. I thought his aim was to cloud the doctrine which had been preached, and ſo prevent the people from being ſhaken thereby from their old ſentiments; but he was blamed by them, and I hope miſſed his end. I had not much publick ſervice at Brecknock, yet was glad I was there, for indeed it was a humbling time to me. For although, in porportion to my gift and experience, the Almighty had eminently favoured me in this journey; yet, on beholding the ſervice and conduct of ſome other of his miniſters, and comparing mine with them, I was led to look upon myſelf but as a mean inſtrument, and greatly to eſteem theſe my elders in the truth. O! how ſecretly does the Lord work, to the purifying of the hearts of ſuch of his ſervants who deſire to be diveſted of every high thought, and humbly to caſt down their crowns at his feet: which was the ardent prayer of my ſoul, from the ſenſe of the miſerable loſs ſome had ſuſtained, in being puffed up with ſelf-conceit and the eſteem of the people; which I have ſeen to be a very fallacious line to meaſure one's ſelf by: for ſometimes that which is highly applauded by them, is reproved by that Spirit which ſearcheth all things.

From Brecknock I returned to Briſtol yearly-meeting, from whence I thought of returning home; but, to my great diſappointment, a concern reſted upon me to proceed to the yearly meeting at London, in company with Rachel Wilſon, who came with me from Brecknock, and was without any companion in the miniſtry. This brought a great exerciſe upon my mind, under the conſideration of the concern it would bring upon my relations; who I knew were deſirous that I might ſteadily move in the counſel of God; and perhaps might fear my running too faſt, which I alſo dreaded; but finding I could not otherwiſe be eaſy, I adviſed with ſome friends, and particularly with my ancient and honourable friend, Benjamin Kidd, who encouraged me therein.

The Briſtol yearly meeting ended ſatisfactorily, many valuable miniſters attended it, and the teſtimony of Truth was meaſurably exalted. It had pleaſed the Lord in the ſeveral times I had been in this city, to favour me with conſiderable liberty in the exerciſe of my gift, whereby a door was opened to me in the minds of Friends there; which favour I hope I received with due thankfulneſs.

Being clear of Briſtol, I proceeded to London attending ſeveral meetings in the way appointed by Rachel Wilſon; at one of which we met with our valuable friend, Daniel Stanton from America, with whom we went in company to London; where we were affectionately received by many Friends, and I had good ground to believe my coming to that city, was in the will and wiſdom of the Almighty, though greatly in a croſs to my own.

After the yearly meeting, I returned directly home, through mercy in peace, and was there gladly received by my dear mother, &c.

Upon a review of this journey, I found abundant cauſe to adore the wiſdom, love, and care, of the heavenly Shepherd; which was eminently manifeſted in his conducting, dealing with, and preſerving, me, a poor weak inexperienced child. The many dangers I had eſcaped, the many deep exerciſes I had been ſupported under, with the multitude of favours conferred on ſo unworthy an object, ſtruck me with admiration, and raiſed this acknowledgement, that He had not dealt with me according to my deſert, but according to the multitude of his mercies.

My return from this journey was in the Fourth month (old ſtile), 17 • 0. I ſtaid about home until the fall of the year, when I found mind drawn to Bath, principally on the account of ſuch as reſorted thither to drink the waters; to which city I went, and ſpent a few weeks therein, and at Briſtol, &c. I hope profitably. I paſſed the winter of this year chiefly at and about home, and amongſt my relations.

In the ſpring of the year 1751, I attended the yearly meeting for Wales, held at Newport in Shropſhire, which was large and divinely favoured. My dear friend Samuel Fothergill attended it, to whom I imparted a concern, which I had for ſome time been under, of viſiting Ireland; in which he encouraged me, and adviſed that I would endeavour to get to Dublin half-year's meeting; and I had afterwards cauſe to believe his advice was right; for, although I did not arrive timely to attend it, yet, had I not come in time to have conſulted Mary Peiſley before ſhe left the city, I might not have been favoured with her company. Accordingly I very ſoon ſet forward, my brother accompanying me to Liverpool, and ſeeing me on board a veſſel bound for Dublin, in which he left me to the protection of Providence. We ſailed down the harbour, but the wind proving contrary, lay that night at anchor, and the next day returned to Liverpool; where I was content to wait, until He who ſent me forth was pleaſed to afford the means of my releaſe from my native land; which was in a few days, when I was favoured with a good paſſage, for which my ſpirit was thankful. I took up my lodgings in Dublin at John Barclay's, by whom, though perſonally unknown, I was kindly received.

Soon after I landed I heard that my dear friend Mary Peiſley was in town. I told her that, as I was without a companion, I ſhould be glad if ſhe could find freedom to go with me a part of the journey; to which ſhe ſaid little then, but before ſhe left the city, ſhe informed me that ſhe had for ſome time felt drawings to viſit the weſtern and northern provinces, and was free to join me in theſe parts; with which I thankfully concurred. It is worthy remarking, that the evening before I landed, ſhe being under the influence of heavenly goodneſs, and in that ſtate reſigned to go this journey, it appeared to her that a companion would be ſent her from England. Thus does the Lord mercifully provide all things neceſſary for ſuch as truſt in him, and are willing to follow whitherſoever he leads them.

Mary Peiſley returned home from Dublin, in order to prepare for the journey. I ſtaid a few days, and then left it with an intention to viſit two meetings in the county of Wicklow, and return back to the city. Several Friends accompanied me in a coach, which I mention as being ſingularly providential, for the day we left town I was taken ill; but as a meeting was appointed at Wicklow, we went forward, and reached the place that night. Next day I was much worſe, yet attended the meeting and had ſome little ſervice therein, though under a heavy load of ſickneſs; which continuing, I returned the next day to Dublin (which I could not have done on horſeback), where I was laid up for about two weeks; in all which time my mind was remarkably reſigned to this diſpenſation of Providence; feeling ſweet peace in giving up to come the journey, even if it were the Lord's will I ſhould lay down my natural life in that city; having a comfortable hope that it would have been in peace; but as he ſaw meet, in wiſdom and mercy, to raiſe me from this ſtate of weakneſs, my earneſt deſire was, that my longer continuance in mutability might be to the honour of his ever worthy name.

In the time of my indiſpoſition, I lodged at Robert Clibborn's, whoſe wife was exceedingly tender of me. John Barclay and two more in his family were ill, which rendered it improper for me to return to his houſe. I ſtaid ſome little time in Dublin to recover my ſtrength, and my friend John Barclay's indiſpoſition proving mortal, I attended the meeting held on account of his funeral; which was very large, and attended with a good degree of ſolemnity. After this, I left the city accompanied by a ſolid young woman, named Elizabeth Cariton, not in the miniſtry, who was with me about three weeks; in which time I paſſed through the meetings of Friends in the counties of Carlow and Wexford, to Waterford; where I was met by my dear friend Mary Peiſley, who was my companion through moſt of the remainder of this journey: and I had cauſe thankfully to acknowledge the mercy of Providence in affording me one ſo ſteady and experienced, from whoſe conduct I might gather inſtruction. We travelled together in great unity and affection, which rendered the trials we met with in the journey the more eaſy. Theſe were conſiderable, reſulting in part from the nature of our ſervices; which were moſtly pointed to the ſtates of perſons or meetings, and expoſed us to cenſure from ſpirits unſubjected to the power of truth; but our good Maſter ſupported us through all, and nearly united our ſpirits to the living conſcientious profeſſors of it, in that nation. It was ſometimes my lot in this journey to appoint meetings in places where there were none of our Society, in which I had the unity of my companion and friend; and they moſtly ended to ſatisfaction, the Almighty proportioning wiſdom and ſtrength to the occaſions. The 27th of the Seventh month I returned to Dublin, in hope that I might in a few days take my paſſage for my native land; but two women friends from England, who had been viſiting Ireland, being expected in town ſoon, and to return home, I was free to wait a little for their company; but therein was diſappointed, for one of the friends got a fall from her horſe in Dublin ſtreet, by which ſhe was diſabled from purſuing her intention of going home. So I put to ſea, but the wind proving contrary, we were forced back, after having been beating againſt it almoſt four days. This ſunk my ſpirits conſiderably, but on my return ſervice opened for me, and the wind being ſtill contrary, I took a little turn in the country to ſatisfaction, and attended the province meeting for Leinſter, where I was met by my dear friend Mary Peiſley; with whom I went to her father's houſe, and ſtaid about a week, and we went in company to the half-year's meeting at Dublin; in which ſolemnity I was favoured to miniſter in the authority of truth; and after taking an affectionate leave of my near friends, and eſpecially of my companion, who was ſtill more near to me in the union of the divine Spirit, I ſailed for England the 12th of the Ninth month, 1751,It ſeems worthy of noting, that although I did not make my paſſage when I firſt went to ſea, my attempting it might have been of uſe to the captain, who was a religious-minded man, with whom I had converſation. He ſuffered no profane language aboard his veſſel. He ſaid he had difficulty to prevent it, but he made it a rule; and that the ſailors might obey his orders, ſometimes aſked their advice, and when they concurred with him in judgment, they quietly ſubmitted to orders. arrived at Parkgate 14th, and reached home the 16th, to the mutual rejoicing of myſelf and relations.

After my return my ſpirit reſted ſome time in a quiet ſettlement, and great enjoyment in the truth; which was an abundant compenſation for all my labour and ſufferings attending the journey. Before I left Ireland, I found my mind drawn to viſit the quarterly meeting of miniſters and elders in the province of Ulſter by an Epiſtle; and ſoon after my return home, I was alſo concerned to write a few lines to a people at Cardiff in Wales, who had in part relinquiſhed their former profeſſions of religion, and ſat together in ſilence, but were in an unſettled ſtate.

This winter I found my mind drawn in the love of truth to viſit the meetings of Friends in London, and experienced true peace in the diſcharge of that duty. My ſervice was acceptable to Friends, and I returned home in thankfulneſs of heart to the Lord, unto whom is due the praiſe of all his works. I lodged with my former ſchoolmiſtreſs, Rachel Trafford, who now rejoiced in receiving me as a miniſter of Chriſt.

Thus far have I wrote as things have been revived in my remembrance, having made little or no minutes, whilſt on my journies, of my labours and exerciſes; but in my next journey which was into Scotland, my mind ſeemed directed to make ſome remarks as I went along; which, as they are expreſſive of the nature of my ſervice, and the manner wherein divine Wiſdom led me in the various changes of ſeaſons, I inſert almoſt entire.

CHAP. III. Some Minutes of my Journey into Scotland, in Company with Mary Abbot, of Northamptonſhire.

ON the 3d of the Fourth month, 1752 (new ſtile), we went to Coalbrook Dale, and had a meeting there the ſame evening, in which we had good ſatisfaction: the teſtimony of truth flowed to the youth, ſome of whom were carried away with the vanities of this world, and the tender ſeed of life in them was oppreſſed.

The 4th, we went to Shrewſbury, and that evening, accompanied by ſome friends of the town, viſited two friends who were impriſoned for tithes: in which viſit we were favoured with the flowings of the refreſhing ſtreams of divine love, wherein the ſpirits of ſome of us were united and comforted.

The 5th, being the Firſt of the week, we attended two meetings in that town. In the morning, the teſtimony of truth was in a good degree ſet over the minds of the people of other ſocieties, as well as of our own; although there is in this place a dark ſpirit; but the Lord was graciouſly pleaſed to bear our ſpirits above it.

In the afternoon, a pretty many people of other ſocieties came in; but it conſiſted with infinite wiſdom to diſappoint their expectations; and as I abode in ſilence, I had peace. I thought the cauſe of this trial might be an example to one of that place, who was forward to miniſter, but without divine authority.

In the evening, we again viſited the priſoners; and the 6th, went towards Warrington, where we came the 7th, and ſo proceeded the 8th and 9th to the quarterly meeting at Lancaſter; wherein I thought the expectation of the people was conſiderable towards me, who was a ſtranger in the country; under which I ſuffered, but patiently bore my teſtimony in ſilence; being deeply affected with a ſenſe of the prevalency of that ſpirit which would exalt the creature. I was refreſhed under the miniſtry of that deep and experienced ſervant of Jeſus Chriſt, John Churchman of America, whom, with his companion John Pemberton, we met at this place.

The 11th, we went to Kendal, where the quarterly meeting for Weſtmoreland was held; wherein John Churchman had good ſervice, but I was ſtill pretty much ſilent; in which diſpenſation I felt the refining power of the Almighty near, and was ſenſible of its ſervice, in emptying my ſoul of old things, and preparing it for the freſh reception of the openings of truth.

The 13th, in company with John Churchman, and many other friends, we ſet forward for the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which was held this year at Carliſle. In our way thither myſelf and companion ſtaid a meeting at Penrith, which was previouſly appointed by Kendal Friends, and was attended by many people of other ſocieties; and I believe would have been of good ſervice, had it not been for ſome, with whom diſcerning Friends had not unity, intruding into the ſervice of the miniſtry.

At Carliſle, my ſpirit was ſet at liberty, and I laboured weightily, and was much favoured in the enlargement of truth. There ſeemed a great ſtruggle between the two powers of light and darkneſs, and what greatly added to the exerciſe of ſenſible Friends was, that the power of darkneſs diſcovered itſelf in the appearance of miniſtry, through ſome deluded ſpirits; but, through divine favour, truth had the eſcendency.

We ſtaid at Carliſle over the next Firſt-day, in which time we viſited ſeveral families of Friends to ſatisfaction: the meetings on the Firſt-day were attended by many of the town's people, and we were favoured with an evidence of being in our proper place and ſervice, which was renewed cauſe of thankfulneſs.

From the 20th to the 23d, we viſited ſeveral meetings in Cumberland, wherein the expectation of the people was great; but my ſatisfaction and rejoicing ſtood in abiding with the ſeed of God, which being oppreſſed in the ſouls of ſome profeſſors of truth, the teſtimony of it did not riſe in ſuch authority, as at ſome other times.

The 24th, we went a long day's journey to Kelſo in Scotland, at which place my ſpirit was ſorely diſtreſſed on account of truth's being almoſt forſaken by its profeſſors, who were but few in that town. We got ſome comfort in viſiting a ſick friend, whoſe ſon and huſband we thought in a hopeful way.

The 27th, we went to Ormſton, and in the way thither, my mind was drawn to the eaſtward; but when we came to our quarters, I could ſee but little likelihood of getting any aſſiſtance in viſiting the people that way.

The 28th, we had a meeting at Ormſton, which was exceedingly crowded, but ſatisfactory. Being ſtill thoughtful about the people to the eaſtward, John Chriſty (at whoſe houſe we lodged) told me that if I would ſtay till the 30th, he would accompany me to any one place I ſhould chooſe; which I was free to do, and we went to North Berwick, where I knew not that any meeting of Friends had been held before. We had a dark ſpirit in ſome to encounter, before we could get a place to meet in, but at laſt we got a large granary. My ſpirit was inexpreſſibly loaded before meeting, but in patience bent towards the centre of its ſtrength, in which ſtate I went to the meeting. There came many people, and I admired at the ſolidity of their behaviour. The Lord was with us, and exalted the teſtimony of his truth, and we left the town in great ſatisfaction, and I hope true thankfulneſs.

We returned that night to Ormſton, and the next day, the 1ſt of the Fifth month, went to Edinburgh, where we lodged at William Miller's. We attended the meetings in that city on the next Firſt-day. That in the morning was pretty large, although there are very few who profeſs with us in that city, and although cloudy in the beginning, yet the Almighty was pleaſed to favour in the concluſion, in exalting the teſtimony of his truth. In the afternoon the houſe was exceedingly crowded, and the people very unſettled; but after a long time of exerciſe, life roſe meaſurably, wherein the ſpring of goſpel miniſtry was opened.

The 5th, we went to Linlithgow, where was no meeting of Friends. We got a ſmall meeting in an inn with the town's people, which was low, though not quite dead; and returned at night to Edinburgh, having travelled about twenty-eight Scotch miles that day. In the morning before I ſet out, I found myſelf very poorly, and in the journey I got worſe, and the next day ſtill worſe; yet I attended a meeting which was appointed for the profeſſors of truth only, whoſe ſtates were moſtly diſtreſſing, a libertine ſpirit having carried away the youth, and an eaſy indifferent one prevailing amongſt thoſe farther advanced in years; both which were ſpoken to.

My illneſs ſtill increaſed, and, proving a fever, reduced me to a ſtate of great weakneſs, and I experienced much poverty of ſpirit; but my frequent petition to the Almighty was for patience, and he was pleaſed to favour me with quietneſs and reſignation.

The 25th, we went from Edinburgh towards the north. I was ſtill very weak, but gradually gathered ſtrength, and was encouraged to preſs forward; which I did as far as there were any meetings of Friends, and returned to England by way of Perth and Glaſgow. The number of Friends in Scotland is ſmall, and the life of truth low in ſome of them; but among the few, there are ſome who ſtand as monuments of the divine power, in this barren and almoſt deſolate land; wherein however there is an open door in many places, to preach the goſpel to thoſe not profeſſing with us.

From Glaſgow we went to Carliſle without holding any meetings. The firſt night we lodged at Stirling, where my ſpirit was exerciſed reſpecting the holding of a meeting; but having only one young man with us, not the moſt ſteady as a Friend, and it appearing to be a high profeſſing place, I ſuffered cowardice to prevail, which occaſioned future diſtreſs: there was time enough for an evening meeting after we came to our inn; and I think the landlord would have granted us his large diningroom. In the morning we proceeded forward, a long day's journey, and dangerous roads; lodged at a very poor lonely Scotch inn upon a chaff bed; our bed-room a ground floor, and no faſtening to the door; and there being men in the houſe drinking, we were not quite eaſy with our ſituation, but through divine favour, we went to ſleep, and were preſerved from harm. We rode through much heavy rain from Glaſgow to this place, which had ſwelled the river Erſk ſo much, that it was not thought ſafe to attempt to paſs it the night we came there; but next morning we croſſed it in two branches: it had a dreadful appearance, the water looked very muddy, the ſtream wide, deep, and rapid; but we had careful guides, and through favour of Providence got ſafe over the 17th of the Sixth month, and came to Carliſle the ſame day. And here I may note to the honour of Scotland, that in all the time I was in it, I do not recollect hearing an oath or a curſe uttered, except the word faith might be accounted an oath, which was ſpoken by a ſoldier. Alas, for England! the ſtreets of whoſe towns echo with moſt profane language, to the ſhame and condemnation of its magiſtrates, as well as its wicked inhabitants. At Carliſle I parted from my companion, who was concerned to viſit ſome of the northern counties, and I, to attend the quarterly meeting at York; where I came the 22d, taking meetings in my way, at Penrith, Raby, and Haby. The laſt, being a monthly meeting, was pretty large, and I believe many ſouls were refreſhed therein: the teſtimony of truth roſe in conſiderable ſtrength and clearneſs; and the meeting concluded in a ſenſe of heavenly ſweetneſs, which was again renewed in the women's meeting. My ſpirit was humbly bowed in thankfulneſs, that my lot was caſt there that day.

At York I met with my dear friend Ann Fothergill from London, and many other friends whom I dearly loved, who were glad to ſee me returned to my native land, the more ſo from a report having prevailed in England, that I was dead.I think it worthy noting, that Samuel Fothergill, being at London yearly-meeting, when this report was current, on a friend's bringing him a ſuppoſed confirmation of the truth of it, pauſed awhile, and bid her tell the perſon who informed her, from him, She is not dead: which was ſoon confirmed by an account from Scotland. Here my mind was turned to conſider the wonderful loving-kindneſs of Providence manifeſted in this journey; and, conſidering my weak ſtate of health through a great part of it, I thought it miraculous that I ſhould ſo ſoon accompliſh it; ſuch a fatigue ſeeming no way proportioned to my ſtrength. But with God all things are poſſible; therefore have his ſervants cauſe to truſt in his holy arm of power.

The quarterly meeting at York was mercifully attended with the preſence of the Maſter of our ſolemn aſſemblies; the teſtimony of truth was exalted, and the ſpirits of his people united in goſpel fellowſhip.

The 25th, I went to Malton, accompanied by my dear friend Sarah Taylor of Mancheſter. We had a meeting there that evening, and the 26th went to Scarborough, and that evening viſited a young man, who I thought was near his end; but we had little to ſay to him, his condition being lamentably ſtupid. I thought intemperance was the cauſe of his indiſpoſition, and found afterwards I was not miſtaken. O! the deplorable effects of this degrading vice on the body, ſoul, and temporal ſubſtance, of numbers who unhappily indulge in it; whoſe faculties are debaſed below thoſe of the brute animals; and ſo ſtupified as not to be rouſed to the moſt important work of their ſoul's ſalvation. It lays men open to every temptation, and reduces many from opulent circumſtances to extreme poverty. It is deſtructive of every delicate ſocial enjoyment; it often emaciates the body, deprives the ſoul of its higheſt good, the divine Preſence, whilſt in time; and if continued to the end of it, finally excludes it from Chriſt's pure kingdom of everlaſting bliſs. Alas! that men ſhould indulge in it to their ſhame. Solomon ſaith truly, Pro. xx.1. Wine is a mocker, ſtrong drink is raging, and whoſoever is deceived thereby is not wiſe; again, Ibid xxiii.29, 30, 31, and 32. Who hath wo? who hath ſorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cauſe? who hath redneſs of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine, that go to ſeek mixt wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itſelf aright. At the laſt it biteth like a ſerpent, and ſtingeth like an adder.

The 27th, being Firſt-day, we attended the meetings. In the morning, we were much favoured with the evidence of truth in our ſervice: ſeveral were there not of our Society who behaved well, and I believe went away ſatisfied. My concern was to ſhew them the difference betwixt true and falſe ſaith, and the tendency of each; with ſome other truths, which immediately opened in my underſtanding. In the afternoon, the meeting was large, but the Lord ſaw meet to diſappoint the expectations of the people, and manifeſt both to them and us, that without him we can do nothing in his ſervice; for neither of us had a word to ſay to them; but I was concerned in ſupplication, and was abundantly rewarded, in ſubmitting quietly to this diſpenſation of divine wiſdom. In the evening, we viſited two friends who could not attend meetings, by reaſon of age or indiſpoſition; and next morning, another friend in a very low eſtate of mind, with whom we had a good opportunity, and left him better than we found him; and I afterwards heard that from that time, he was reſtored. That afternoon we departed in peace from Scarborough, and returned to Malton, ſo to York, Leeds, Rawden, Bradford, and Halifax; in all which places I met with a ſhare of exerciſes, and, I thought, was moſtly very low in the miniſtry; but had the conſolation to believe that what I ſtammered out was ſuited to the ſtates of the people; which is a proof of true miniſtry.

The 7th of the Seventh month, we came to Mancheſter, where I left Sarah Taylor; the 10th, I went to Warrington, and had a meeting there that evening, wherein I was ſilent as to teſtimony.

The 11th, I went to Liverpool, in my way ſtopped to take ſome refreſhment at Preſcot, and found my mind exerciſed for the people of that town, wherein there was no meeting of Friends; but went on for Liverpool, and next day was at two meetings there, and viſited a friend in diſtreſs, in all which I had good ſatisfaction. In the evening, finding a concern for Preſcot ſtill to remain, I propoſed to Friends, the having of a meeting there the next morning, in my way to Warrington; which, though ſome difficulty was ſtarted, was accompliſhed, and a bleſſed opportunity it was; the Lord's power being largely revealed, and the people behaving ſolidly, although I ſuppoſe, a meeting of Friends had not been held in the town for very many years.

In the evening, I had a meeting in Warrington. The 14th, I went to Morley, my dear friend Samuel Fothergill, and ſeveral other friends accompanying me, and divers others meeting us from Mancheſter: and the Lord, in his wonderful mercy, was pleaſed to open the freſh ſpring of his love, and favour us with a ſweet opportunity together therein: in a thankful ſenſe whereof we parted from each other; and I came by way of Stafford and Atherſton, home the 20th, where I was gladly received by my dear and worthy mother, &c. After ſome little time of ſettlement, my mind was directed to take a view of my late journey, in the courſe whereof I diſcovered the wonderful loving-kindneſs of God largly manifeſted; but was for a time much diſtreſſed on account of not having had a meeting at Stirling, as before hinted: under which diſtreſs my ſoul ardently deſired that for the future I might be careful to diſcharge my duty; for I found it a heavy burden not to be clear from the blood of the people.

In a few weeks after my return from this journey I went to our quarterly meeting at Shipſton; which was eminently favoured with the preſence of the Moſt High.

In the fall of the year I was obliged to accompany my ſiſter to Bath, for the benefit of her health; in which city I was the moſt affectingly dipped into a ſtate of poverty, that ever I had known myſelf to be, which, being joined by great weakneſs of body, was hard to bear, yet I believe not without its peculiar ſervice.

I viſited Briſtol meeting twice in this journey, where I was made to taſte of the poverty and weakneſs, which appears in many there, through unfaithfulneſs. It was indeed a time of mourning to the ſervants of the Lord, while thoſe who were the cauſe of it required of them a ſong; but they were conſtrained for the moſt part to bear their burdens in ſolemn ſilence.

At Bath I ſuffered much under a libertine ſpirit, which was very apparent both amongſt thoſe who profeſſed truth, and others in that place. I had ſeveral teſtimonies of cloſe reproof to bear to friends, and ſome pretty open ſervice with ſtrangers in town, and upon the whole had cauſe of thankfulneſs adminiſtered; the Lord rewarding my faithfulneſs and ſufferings with peace in the end; and I returned home in a much better ſtate of health than I left it; the uſe of the waters having been of ſervice to me, though of little to my ſiſter. But now another trial of faith came upon me, which was the near approach of a viſit to Friends in America, which had appeared in proſpect for about a year; with an apprehenſion that I muſt go with my dear friend Mary Peiſley, who I believed was preparing for that ſervice: yet I never gave her any hint of accompanying her, being deſirous that if it muſt be my lot, it might be evidently pointed by the finger of Providence.

On my return home I received a letter from her, wherein ſhe deſired to be informed, whether I knew of any woman friend going to America from England, and hinted her concern for that quarter of the world. This ſtuck cloſe to my mind, yet I kept it to myſelf for ſeveral weeks, and then communicated it to my dear mother, who heard it with a becoming reſignation, telling me it was not entirely unexpected to her.

And although it was exceeding hard, to the natural part in her, thus to part with me in her declining years; eſpecially as ſhe ſo tenderly loved me as a child, as well as in the truth; ſhe freely gave me up to the divine requiring, earneſtly deſiring that the Lord might be my director and preſerver.

Upon this, I wrote to my dear friend Mary Peiſley. Some extracts of my letter to her, with her anſwer, follow.

Catherine Payton to Mary Peiſley. My dear friend,

It is not becauſe I forgot thy affectionate requeſt of hearing from me ſoon, that I have ſo long poſtponed a reply to thy laſt acceptable favour; but when it came here I was from home (as I hope thou art already adviſed by a few lines I wrote from Bath), and the ſequel of this will diſcover my reaſon for not writing thee immediately on my return.

With pleaſure I obſerved that thy health was better than heretofore, and hope the bleſſing is ſtill continued, ſo that by the aſſiſtance of heavenly goodneſs, thou haſt been and ſtill mayeſt be capable to perform the duty required, with a degree of eaſe and cheerfulneſs, to which a good ſhare of health greatly contributes; although it muſt be confeſſed with humble gratitude, that the Lord is to his ſervants ſtrength in weakneſs, of body as well as mind.

What we have ſeen of the exaltation of his arm of power in this reſpect, may encourage us to perſeverance, and a ſteady dependency thereon; and ſilence the voice of nature, which ſometimes inſinuates that we are not able to perform what is required; for we have good cauſe to believe nothing is impoſſible with Him who has called us; but, through his power communicated, we may perfectly perform his will. And ſuppoſe our race to be attended with weakneſs, pain, anxious concern, travail of ſoul, and inconveniency to the body; can it ever equal the incomparable ſufferings of the Captain of our ſalvation? Oh! how does the conſideration of the tribulating path he invariably trod, ſtifle the pleadings for eaſe and pleaſure? For ſhall we, who dare to aſpire to no higher title than ſervants, expect to be better accommodated than was our Lord? Shall we ſupinely ſettle in the outward poſſeſſions afforded us, when he laboriouſly trod the wine-preſs alone, and that for our ſakes? He was deſtitute of a place of reſidence, and had not where to lay his head, though Lord of all; and although he could limit the power of Satan, yea, totally bind him, yet ſuffered the contradiction of ſinners againſt himſelf, as well as a ſeries of deep temptations. Let us be united to the ſufferings infinite Wiſdom allots, remembering the bleſſing dropt on ſuch as endure afflictions.

I know to whom I am writing, and believe that thou art much farther advanced than myſelf in this glorious reſignation to the divine will; but thus much I may ſay, that, as I have ſeen, in a degree, into this happy ſtate of conſtant devotion, I ardently deſire to be made a partaker therein.

I rejoice to find that unity, and ſympathy of ſpirit, which ſo remarkably attended us when preſent, ſubſiſts now abſent; and thought my wiſh in my laſt was anſwered in the ſenſe thou hadſt of my ſtate. Oh! may we both be preſerved near to the fountain of life, and then we muſt be near each other in the fellowſhip of the goſpel, which diſtance of ſpace cannot hinder, nor time efface; but it will centre with our ſpirits in that unchangeable ſtate of felicity we humbly hope for.

I now come to anſwer thy laſt requeſt, which will ſhew the cauſe of my ſilence, viz. Whether I know of any woman friend who was going from England to America. I told thee I had a hint of —'s inclination, the ſame I had of —, but know not that either is more than ſuppoſition, for I do not hear that either are preparing to ſet forward, and have heard of no one elſe.

But my dear friend, I am almoſt at a loſs to find terms to expreſs the laborious thought which has poſſeſſed my ſoul; for it ſeems to me, that Providence deſigns I ſhould accompany thee; unto which, if way may be made for me, and an unqueſtionable evidence given that it is right, I am at laſt reſigned; although it be but to be a ſervant of ſervants; but he only knows who diſcovers the inward ſtruggle betwixt fleſh and ſpirit, with what reluctance I ſhall, if it muſt be ſo, part from my dear relations, eſpecially my dear and honoured mother, unto whom I have communicated the painful thought. She heard it with becoming reſignation, being determined to give me up to the divine requiring; only deſires to be convinced it is ſuch, which I hope is but an allowable requeſt. I have waited to have the thing a little ſettled on her mind, and ſhe yeſterday gave me leave to inform thee of it.

And now my dear friend, I intreat thee to weigh it well, and as diſintereſtedly as poſſible, and give me thy thoughts thereupon with all the freedom which our friendſhip, and the nature of the caſe, requires, not concealing one doubt; for I am exceedingly afraid of being deceived, and would willingly be convinced, if this appearance is but for the proving of my ſubmiſſion. But however it may be, I find peace in ſtanding reſigned, and truſt my good Maſter will rightly conduct me.

Notwithſtanding what I have before ſaid, if any companion offers with whom thou haſt freedom to join, purſue thy journey, and leave me to Providence, who, I believe will take care of me.

Some Extracts of Mary Peiſley's Letter to Catherine Phillips, in anſwer to the foregoing. My dearly beloved in the Lord,

THIS goes with the ſalutation of my beſt love, and may inform thee, that I received thy two very acceptable favours of the Tenth and Twelfth month. The laſt came firſt to hand, for I did not get that from Bath till laſt week; yet was it very acceptable to me, and a ſtronger confirmation of what thou mentions in the latter part of thy laſt being right, if my concern is ſo. For the baptiſm thou there deſcribes as into a cloud of darkneſs, bears a juſt reſemblance to what my ſpirit paſſed through, before I had a diſtinct diſcerning of the near approach of the journey which is now before me: and agrees with the experience of that great inſtrument John Churchman, as he wrote to me before he had any knowledge of my concern, but what he received by ſympathy; which was ſome ſtrength to me, and what I greatly deſired. Thy laſt came to hand about two weeks after its date, which I ſhould have anſwered ſooner, but that I waited for his anſwer, being willing to comply with thy requeſt That part of my letter to Mary Peiſley I omitted to tranſcribe in the before-written abſtract. in conſulting him, which I had not done before: and notwithſtanding his writing as he did, his reply was, That he had thoughts of my being under ſuch an exerciſe, and therefore my letter was not ſurpriſing to him; but that he had little to ſay to it, well knowing that it is ſafe for us all to attend to that divine inſtruction which can alone make truly knowing in our leaſt acceptable ſervices at home, as well as the moſt weighty we may be called to abroad; but what he did ſay was very edifying, and although the concurrence of ſuch as him is what we muſt naturally deſire; yet to our own Maſter we muſt ſtand or fall.

I find it a great trial to my poor father to part with me, but the thoughts of thy going with me has made it much eaſier to him; and for my part I may acknowledge it is a favour, neither looked for, nor expected; it being like forbid me to take any thought about a companion, as well indeed it might, when my kind, good Maſter was providing ſo agreeably for me. To my kind and good Maſter I owe firſt and chief my hearty thanks, for all the benefit received from ſecondary cauſes.

But thou mayeſt remember, my dear, though I wrote to thee to know if any friend from your nation was likely to go, it was not by way of querying for a companion; but it ſprings on my heart to ſay, Thou art the woman, and I really believe the thing is of the Lord; and as we abide in his counſel, I firmly hope that he will bleſs us together, and make his work to proſper in our hands, if our eye be but ſingle to his glory, ſeeking, hoping, nor deſiring, any thing but the advancement thereof: and I can aſſure thee my dear friend, notwithſtanding the love I have for thee in the truth, and the affection which I bear to thy perſon, with the likeneſs of ſouls I had diſcovered; yet, did I feel any obſtruction or doubt in my mind of the thing's being right, I dare not conceal it from thee, nor take one ſtep knowingly, out of the light and counſel of truth, in to important an affair; and it is juſt with me to ſay, Tempt not the Lord thy God, in ſeeking more ſtrong and convincing manifeſtations than he may ſee meet to give thee: but be willing to go in faith, leaning on thy ſtaff; for I muſt tell thee, I think I have brought ſufferings on myſelf for ſo doing; for, ſince the time that it was clearly manifeſted unto me as a duty, till within theſe few weeks, I have been peaceably reſigned; in which ſtate was favoured with great tranquillity of ſoul, which made me look on the difficulties and dangers of the journey, with ſuch eyes, that I began to fear that I had a will to go, and ſet my face againſt it, till I had a further manifeſtation of its being right. And here nature began to pleaſe itſelf with many pleaſing proſpects in my ſtay; and the enemy was at hand to ſuggeſt that the former manifeſtation was but to try my love and obedience; and here I loſt faith, and without it could no more think of going than of removing mountains. Thus did the enemy work as in a myſtery, till my ſpirit was brought into ſuch darkneſs and diſtreſs, as is better felt than expreſſed. I am now again, by the mercy of God, and by that faith which is his gift, fully reſigned without any further manifeſtation; than in looking that way wherein I ſee a little light, peace and comfort to my poor ſoul; and in turning any other, fear, pain, and darkneſs, meet me.

Thus, my friend, have I given thee a ſhort but true account of the dealings of the Lord with my ſoul; which has been the cauſe of my ſilence till this day, for the forepart of this letter was wrote more than three weeks ago, but could not find ſtrength to finiſh it till now; yet in all that trying ſeaſon had no doubt of thy concern being right. Ah! what ſtates and diſpenſations muſt we paſs through, who are ſitting to ſpeak of the Lord's wonders which are ſeen in the deeps!

If it be my lot to go, the way which now ſeems pointed to me is, to ſpend ſome time in Dublin; to go from thence with Friends to the yearly meeting at London; and, when clear of that city, to take ſhipping from thence: this I hope will be acceptable to thee, but if thou haſt any call to Ireland before thou goes, let not this prevent thee.

After the receipt of this letter I continued to make preparation for the journey, my way being open both in the minds of my relations and friends; though it was a trial to both to part with me.

CHAP. IV. Some Minutes of Travels, Labours, and Sufferings in America, &c.

ON the 4th of the Sixth month, 1753, I took an affecting and affectionate farewel of my dear mother and relations, leaving her and them to the protection of Providence; and went, accompanied with my ſiſter Ann, to Worceſter. I was at a monthly meeting there the next day, which was laborious and exerciſing, ſome Friends being ſunk into a ſtate of indolence, and, though ſometimes favoured with a feeling ſenſe of divine good, not quickened thereby to action in the affairs of the church: and ſo the viſitation of heaven is rendered fruitleſs, while the things of this world are purſued with induſtry and ardency. Againſt this ſpirit, I, with ſome others, had to teſtify, in cloſe doctrine and advice; and, although the meeting was dull and painful in the beginning, it ended in a ſweet living ſtream of ſupplication and praiſe: in which the living preſent, committed each other into the hands of the Almighty for preſervation.

In the women's meeting, I endeavoured for a regulation, that our Chriſtian diſcipline might be revived, for which a concern had reſted upon my mind for ſome years: and ſome women Friends of this city being under a like exerciſe, it afforded a comfortable hope, that the Lord would qualify inſtruments for this ſervice. In the evening, the viſitation of infinite goodneſs was renewed to us, and to a few friends who came to viſit us at my dear friend Aſhby's, in the ſenſe of which we parted. The 6th we went to Eveſham, where we were met by my brother James, and ſeveral friends from Ireland, who were going to the yearly meeting at London. We ſtaid over the monthly meeting there the next day, and ſo proceeding on our journey (Ann Aſhby going forward with us), reached London the 9th; where I met with my dear friend and companion, Mary Peiſley.

The yearly meeting was large, and attended by many weighty Friends; who were divinely aſſiſted to labour for the promotion of Truth, and the ordering of the affairs of the church.

My brother and ſiſter left me in London; and, my companion Mary Peiſley having a concern to attend the meetings at Colcheſter, Woodbridge, and Norwich, I ſpent a little time at Chelmsford, at the houſe of John Griffith (the ſtate of my health and ſpirits being ſuch as ſeemed to call for reſt and quiet), and returned to London in about two weeks; but being ſtill poorly in health, I went to the country-houſe of my worthy friend John Hayward, accompanied by Ann Fothergill; where I was indiſpoſed, and confined to my bed and the houſe, for about a week. Recovering a little ſtrength, I returned to London; where the diſorder returned, and continued for nine or ten days; and being ſucceeded by the jaundice, it brought me very low; but through the kindneſs of Providence, I was preſerved patient and reſigned under this diſpenſation. In this time my companion returned to London, but did not find her way open to leave England; ſo that my trials were increaſed with the proſpect of being longer detained, and at a diſtance from my dear relations. But infinite Wiſdom knows beſt how to plan out the way for his people, the ſecret workings of whoſe Providence I thought I clearly diſcovered, in this ſucceſſion of probations being permitted to attend me where they did. Had it been at home it would have been much more afflicting both to my relations and myſelf; as it would have rendered their parting with me in ſuch a weak ſtate of health the more painful, and my leaving home the more difficult: nay, I have queſtioned, if I had not left it as I did, whether, conſidering the diſcouragement, I ſhould have gone the journey. Nor was my indiſpoſition without a ſingular ſervice: for my health had languiſhed under the oppreſſion of the remains of the fever which I had at Edinburgh; which by this diſorder were, in a good meaſure, carried off, and my body the better prepared to ſuſtain the fatigues and trials of the enſuing journey, ariſing from the difference of climate, &c. So that in this painful allotment, I had renewed cauſe to bleſs and praiſe the name of my God, and to acknowledge, that whatever he does is beſt.

Almoſt as ſoon as I recovered ſtrength to get abroad, the cloud diſperſed; and we found our ſpirits at liberty to take our paſſage on board the Alexander, Captain Curling, bound from London to Charleſton, in South Carolina; which ſailed in about a week after we agreed to go in her. The laſt Firſt-day we were in London, we were favoured to take a comfortable farewel of many of our friends, in the feeling ſenſe of divine goodneſs; wherein alſo, we were enabled to reſign and commit each other into the hands of the Almighty for preſervation.

We left London the 21ſt of the Eighth month, 1753; and, as our veſſel was to ſtop at Portſmouth to take in ſome of her paſſengers, our friends thought it beſt for us to go thither by land: which we did, and ſeveral of them freely accompanied us.

We came to Portſmouth the 24th, and went on board our veſſel the 25th, where we took leave of our friends with affection.

Being ſettled in our veſſel, a ſweet compoſure came over my ſpirit; which ſtrengthened my faith that I was moving by divine direction.

The next day the wind turned againſt us, and we came to an anchor in Yarmouth Road, Iſle of Wight. Being Firſt-day, we were a little thoughtful about having a meeting with the paſſengers; but one of our company being a clergyman, and the ſhip's crew buſy in ſettling the veſſel, we concluded it would not be very eaſily obtained, and were content in ſitting together in our own apartment; during which time the parſon got ſome of our people together in the great cabin, and read prayers to them.

I had purpoſely left our room door open, in order that, if any duty preſented, I might have an opportunity of performing it; and after they had done, I found a concern to call upon the Lord in humble ſupplication, to which I gave up; but a part of the company went on deck, being I ſuppoſed exampled by their teacher; however I was favoured with a pretty ſatisfactory opportunity, and the ſtrengthening evidence of peace in the concluſion.

The 27th, we ſet ſail, and paſſed the Needles the 28th. The 29th, the wind came againſt us, and blowing hard we anchored in the evening in Portland Bay, where we lay till the 3d of the ninth month; when we ſet ſail, and got clear of the land the 5th; from which time we were moſtly favoured with gentle favourable winds, till we came near the coaſt of South Carolina.

The 18th of the Tenth month, we got into ſoundings; but the wind blowing very hard, and the ſea running high, our captain durſt not attempt to go over Charleſton bar, ſo ſtood off, in hopes the wind might fall; but inſtead of that it turned againſt us, and continued to blow very hard till the 22d: all which time we lay with our helm laſhed, driving with the wind. The 22d, the ſea and wind fell very much, the weather (which in this time had been very foul) cleared up, and the wind became favourable, and we got within ſight of land; but it being to the ſouthward of our deſigned port, the captain tacked about to the northward, hoping thereby to gain ſo much in the night as to be able to run in with the tide in the morning; but we were again beat back to ſea by a contrary ſtormy wind.

Thus were we toſſed to and fro, almoſt within ſight of our harbour; but through prevailing grace our minds were wonderfully preſerved above either fear or complaint, enjoying a clam within, in the midſt of a ſtorm without; being happily reſigned to ſuffer in this way, if it were the Lord's will ſo to appoint: which bleſſed diſpoſition, attended us through the voyage, helped to alleviate our bodily hardſhips, which would otherwiſe have appeared conſiderable.

We were ſea-ſick, though not ſo extremely as we expected; and we ſuffered much from the exceſſive heat of the weather, ſteering within one degree, as far ſouth as the tropic of Cancer; in which latitude I believe we continued near three weeks, being becalmed; and, neither I nor my companion being very ſtrong, nature had a conſiderable ſtruggle, to ſurmount the expenſe of ſpirits ſhe ſuſtained.

But we had cauſe to be thankful that we eſcaped a violent fever, which frequently ſeizes thoſe who paſs through this climate, and have been uſed to one much colder.

During the ſtorm, the ſeams of our veſſel, being opened on the ſide where we lay, let in the wet, and our apartment was in a manner flooded. My bed was ſo wet that I could not lie therein, ſo I threw myſelf down for ſeveral nights upon ſome blankets in a birth in the great cabin, and ſlept better than I could have expected; but the ſpray of the ſea drove ſo upon it, even there, that my linen was ſo damp, that I eſteemed it a ſingular mercy I was not exceeding ill.

Indeed we were both of us brought very low, but recruited again as the weather cleared up; which it did the 24th, and we ſet ſail in the evening, and the 25th got our pilot on board, who intended that night to run as near the bar as prudent, and wait for another tide to carry us into port. But here we apprehended ourſelves to be in imminent danger; for, the man who ſounded miſtaking the length of the line which he let go, the veſſel ran too far before they dropped anchor; ſo that we lay all night in very ſhallow water, ſo near, if not upon the breakers, that had the wind ſprung up freſh, it ſeemed queſtionable our having room to turn the veſſel from them, when the anchors were weighed: but the Lord preſerved us, and we landed at Charleſton the 26th in the morning, under a grateful ſenſe of his merciful Providence having attended us through the voyage. We were upwards of nine weeks on ſhip-board.

We had ſeveral meetings while on ſhipboard with the ſailors and paſſengers, who were of different countries. There was a South Carolina woman and her negro maid, a man and his wife, the one a German and the other a Swiſs; a Scotch ſchoolmaſter, our captain and his brother of French extraction, if not born in France.

Our firſt meeting was with the ſailors and ſteerage paſſengers, on the afternoon of the Firſt-day, wherein we lay at anchor in Portland Bay. The prieſt in the morning, read prayers to the cabin paſſengers, but took no care for the others on board. The captain offered us the cabin to meet in, but we rather choſe to go to them in the ſteerage; from which the prieſt would have diſſuaded us, by telling us, they would be likely to inſult us; but, on our ſending a meſſage to the ſailors that we intended them a viſit, they returned for anſwer, that though they had not had college education, they ſhould be glad to hear the word of God, and would readily admit us. The meeting was attended with a good degree of ſolemnity, and afforded ſatisfaction to ourſelves. My companion was favoured in teſtimony ſuited to the ſtates of the people, and I was graciouſly admitted to ſupplicate the Lord for them.

Our other meetings were held in the cabin, which we had the uſe of for that purpoſe on the afternoons of the Firſt-days, as the parſon had, in the mornings. They were generally attended by moſt of the paſſengers and ſome of the ſailors; but there being but little entrance for the word, made it hard labouring among them. We were, however, favoured with peace, in endeavouring to promote their good; and bleſſed with the incomes of divine life in our own ſouls, not only on thoſe occaſions, but at many other times: ſo that it was a ſeaſon to be had in laſting remembrance, with thankſgiving to the Lord, whoſe good preſence accompanied us when on the mighty ocean, and rendered our ſeparation from our dear relations and friends eaſy.

The parſon, obſerving that in our miniſtry, we ſpoke extempore, told me that he could preach extempore, and we ſhould hear him if we pleaſed the next Sunday. Accordingly when the day came, we were all ſeated in the great cabin, and he preached without notes. His ſubject was the transfiguration of Chriſt, which he found a wonder,—expatiated upon it as a wonder,—and left it a wonder; without entering into the ſpirituality of the text: indeed I doubt he did not underſtand it.

From this time he read prayers and preached on the Firſt-day mornings, when the weather permitted, and ſometimes we ſat in the cabin with them; and although the inconſiſtency of their prayers and profeſſions with their own ſtates, as well as of the manner of their offering them with the nature of the ſolemn duty of calling upon the Lord, joined to the prieſt's laboured, dry diſcourſes, could not but painfully affect us; yet in the time of their worſhip, the Almighty by his power broke in upon our ſpirits, and bowed them in contrition before himſelf: ſo that, in the enjoyment of his goodneſs, we had a ſilent teſtimony to bear to that living worſhip which he inſpires, and accepts.

And although both by word and conduct we differed from the prieſt, we heard that when he came on ſhore he ſpoke well of us, acknowledging that we had been inſtruments of good to him; and particularly that my companion had convinced him of the evil of gaming; which he appeared to like whilſt on the voyage, but which we alſo heard he afterwards preached zealouſly againſt, as well as other vanities. Indeed he became much changed, and whilſt in Carolina appeared conſcientiouſly concerned for the people's welfare. Some time after we left America he returned to England, and I think I heard that the people did not like his cloſe doctrine.

We lodged in Charleſton at John Sinclair's, who was educated amongſt Friends, but had married one not of our Society. Both he and his wife received us kindly, and treated us while with them with great hoſpitality and generoſity.

The meeting of Friends here was very ſmall; and moſt of thoſe who attended it were rather ſtumbling-blocks, than way-marks, to other profeſſors of religion; yet we found a few to whom we were meaſurably united, and who I believe were thankful for our viſit. During our ſtay in this place, we were treated with great civility and kindneſs, by the inhabitants thereof who did not profeſs with us; but we ſaw it neceſſary to be ſtrictly guarded in our converſation with them; leſt their very reſpectful behaviour ſhould betray us into a familiarity injurious to ourſelves. Many of them are ready to hear the teſtimony of Truth, but there is a certain lightneſs of diſpoſition which greatly obſtructs its progreſs amongſt them; and if not carefully watched againſt, will infect the minds of perſons who converſe with them.

Many of them attended our meetings, and moſtly behaved ſoberly in them; but what with ignorance of the ſpirituality of religion, a high profeſſing ſpirit in ſome, and libertiniſm both in principle and practice in others, it was very hard to labour amongſt them: however, the Almighty was pleaſed ſo to favour us, that we were not without hope, that the teſtimony given us to bear affected ſome minds, and, in the general, commanded their aſſent.

We had two ſelect meetings for Friends, and paid a religious viſit to moſt of their families; in which ſervice we were owned by the power of Truth, though in ſome places we were very cloſely exerciſed; inſomuch, that one man abſented himſelf from meeting, not liking any longer to ſit under our doctrine; but we found we had rather cauſe to rejoice than to be uneaſy, in being inſtrumental of ſeparating him from the Society (if ſo it ſhould prove), his conduct being a ſcandal to his profeſſion, though he pretended to join it by convincement.

We took a little turn to the ſouth of Charleſton, and had meetings at James's Iſland, John's Iſland, and Stones. The firſt was the moſt ſatisfactory.

At Stones, we had a cloſe exerciſing time in the family of a young man, whoſe father had formerly made profeſſion of Truth; but he was quite gone from Friends, and I fear was tinctured with libertine principles; but he entertained us freely, and did not ſeem to take offence at what we had to deliver. I heard he died ſoon after. We had alſo a ſatisfactory opportunity with a family not profeſſing with us, in Charleſton, but whoſe anceſtors by the father's ſide were Friends.

It ſeemed as though the Almighty had ſent us peculiarly to ſeek the loſt ſheep of the houſe of Iſrael: that his merciful viſitation may be accepted by them, is the ſincere deſire of my ſoul.

I was engaged to return to James's Iſland, but, my companion having no concern to accompany me, I went alone, and had a much larger meeting than when there before: and I hope it was well that I went back, as, through Divine favour, many goſpel truths were opened to the people, in a degree of life and authority.

My friend John Witter, of the Iſland, ſent with me over the Sound a negro man, who was to attend me to my lodgings. He was well-dreſſed, and looked well-fed. I entered a little into converſation with him reſpecting his ſituation as a ſlave. He appeared eaſy in it, and ſaid that he had a good maſter, but that many negroes were treated no better than dogs. Indeed we could not but lament over thoſe poor people, as we paſſed through the colonies. Divers of our friends were then in poſſeſſion of ſome negroes, either by inheritance or purchaſe; and the negroes who had them for maſters rejoiced in their lot. But about this time concern aroſe amongſt Friends, to aboliſh ſlave-keeping in our Society; which concern has ſince prevailed in the American Colonies; and many friends have given up large poſſeſſions in negroes, but employed many of them as hired ſervants after they had given them their liberty.

We left Charleſton the 26th of the Eleventh month, accompanied by James Verree, a young man, a friend, reſiding there; and went towards a ſmall ſettelement of Friends of the Wateree River, which is on the north ſide of the Province. They were lately come over from Ireland.

In our way we had meetings in the families of Iſaac Perinoes, and John Lloyd where we lodged, who were neither of them of our Society, but they readily gave us an opportunity with them, and Truth favoured us.

Several difficulties attended us in this journey. We had appointed a friend to meet us with horſes, about a hundred and twenty miles from Charleſton; and being ſet to a time, we durſt not ſtay to diſcharge our minds of that duty of love, which ſeemed to point towards the people, as we went along. Secondly, we had poor accommodation, eſpecially as to lodging; ſome of the houſes being ſo open to the air, that I could attribute our preſervation from great indiſpoſition, to nothing ſhort of the mediate interpoſition of Providence; but as the people behaved very civilly toward us, and we enjoyed ſome liberty of ſpirit among them, it was rendered the more eaſy. When we came to the place where we had appointed to be met, we found neither the friend nor the horſes; and thoſe which we brought from Charleſton, being borrowed, and the friend who came with us being earneſt to return, we diſcharged him from any further care of us, ſent the horſes back with him, and concluded to ſtay at the houſe of the before-mentioned John Lloyd; who was a ſubſtantial planter, and very freely gave us an invitation thereto, till our friends from the Wateree, could meet us with horſes; unto whom we had an opportunity of ſending an account of the ſtrait we were in, by a neighbour of theirs, whom we met at the houſe of this planter, and who was then going home.

However, kind Providence ſoon opened a way for our releaſe. A poor friend who lived between this place and the Wateree, and was going to Charleſton with goods for the market, ſtopped at John Lloyd's; and, ſeeing the circumſtances we were in, left his load in John Lloyd's warehouſe, and returned back with us to his own houſe; where we got a very poor lodging, but received it thankfully, as the beſt he could provide us with; and the next day he accompanied us to the Wateree, through a wilderneſs country, wherein it was dangerous for women to travel, by reaſon of the ſwamps and deep creeks, which are difficult and very frightful to paſs: but we were mercifully preſerved from hurt.

We croſſed one creek upon the trunk of a tree laid from bank to bank, and the water was ſo deep, that if the trunk had broken, we had probably been drowned. When we got on the other ſide we ſaw it was decayed; and when our friends came over with our ſaddles upon their backs, we obſerved it bend with their weight. Our horſes were driven through a part of the creek where the water was ſhallower, yet perhaps there it was out of their depths. Providentially, before we croſſed this creek, we were met by our friend Robert Millhouſe: had it not been ſo, I know not how the poor friend would have got us over.

Robert Millhouſe had brought horſes for us, and gladly took us to his houſe with him. My companion's former acquaintance with him in Ireland, rendered their meeting very agreeable. We found his not meeting us according to appointment, was occaſioned by our letters not reaching him timely; which had we known, our ſpirits might have been more at liberty to have attended the before mentioned pointings of love towards the people; but inaſmuch as we had not wilfully omitted our duty, Divine mercy was extended, and our minds ſoon became eaſy on that account.

We came to the Wateree River the 1ſt of the Twelfth month, and ſtaid there till the 12th; in which time we attended Friends' meetings as they came in courſe, both on the Firſt, and other days of the week, and paid a religious viſit to every family of Friends in the ſettlement; in which ſervice we were evidently owned by our Maſter; or at leaſt my companion was ſo, who had moſt of the ſervice in this place. The ſtate of the friends ſettled here was moſtly low, as to religious experience; but ſome of the youth were under a divine viſitation, which afforded us ſome comfort. Some people not profeſſing with us attended our meetings, and behaved ſoberly; but in general, the people in this part of the country were lamentably ignorant and wicked: indeed, they had very few opportunities of religious inſtruction, no place of worſhip being near; perhaps not nearer than twenty miles. Seldom, if ever, any clergyman came amongſt them oftener than once a year, to ſprinkle their children. Alas! what will theſe pretended and hireling ſhepherds have to anſwer for? of whom it may well be ſaid, they feed themſelves but not the flock.

Indeed, none can feed the flock, who have not themſelves been fed by the heavenly Shepherd.

Part of the time we ſpent here, was to me a ſeaſon of deep inward trials; the enemy being ſuffered ſo to beſet me, that my ſoul was diſtreſſed both night and day; and though ſometimes a ray of hope of deliverance and preſervation would break in upon it, and I was favoured with a taſte of divine love; yet when that was withdrawn, I was left as weak and unable to reſiſt him as before; ſo that my ſpirit was in inexpreſſible bitterneſs.

I had very little ſhare in the miniſterial ſervice; ſometimes perhaps a few ſimple expreſſions. But before we left the Wateree, the load was in part removed, and my ſpirit brought into a greater calm, in which I deſired to wait the Lord's time, to be put forth to ſervice. He had clothed me, and he had a right to ſtrip me at his pleaſure; and I could ſay with Job, The Lord gave, and taketh away, bleſſed be his name. The incomes of his love and peace in my heart, were more to me than to be honoured before the people. And here I cannot but again obſerve the various baptiſms which the miniſters of Chriſt have to paſs through, in order to their being renewedly fitted to miniſter to the different ſtates of the people. What deep poverty and diſtreſs, doubts, fears, and temptations! I was ſometimes however in mercy admitted to taſte of the cup of heavenly conſolation. All is conſiſtent with the wiſdom of God, and tends to bend the mind more effectually towards Him, and to mortify the fleſh with its corrupt affections: ſo that the ſpiritual life is often ſtrengthened by theſe afflicting diſpenſations.

We bought horſes at the Wateree, and, accompanied by Robert Millhouſe and Samuel Kelly, ſet forwards towards the River Peedee, where we had heard there was a ſettlement of Friends. We travelled through a wilderneſs country for ſeveral days, carrying proviſions for ourſelves and horſes. In the day we took our repaſt in the woods, and at night got lodging at ſome planters'; who, though not of our Society, readily gave us admittance into their houſes, and freely entertained us according to their manner of living: and although it was very different from what we had been accuſtomed to, and the lodging in ſome places very cold and poor; we were content, and thankful to the Almighty for it, as well as for his providential care, variouſly manifeſted in preſerving us from the dangers which attended us, in paſſing ſwamps, deep creeks, &c. And although we lived low, our ſpirits were preſerved pretty cheerful, and our health tolerable.

One particular inſtance of Divine protection, I think worthy of commemoration. The 14th in the evening we came to a ſwamp, which appeared very dangerous to croſs; but a friendly man on the other ſide directed us where to turn our horſes over, and came himſelf and aſſiſted us over ſome trees which lay acroſs it. Having got over, we aſked him how far it was to the place where we intended to lodge, and whether the way was eaſy to find. He told us it was twelve miles, and that the latter part of the way was intricate; and, after walking by our ſide a little time, he offered to conduct us, which offer we readily accepted. If he had not accompanied us, I know not but that we muſt have been all night in the woods; for the way being ſo difficult to find, and night coming upon us, we ſhould probably have miſſed it; and the weather being froſty, and we unprovided either with materials to ſtrike fire, or blankets to cover us, we ſhould have ſuffered much, if we had eſcaped with our lives.

Our kind guide brought us to the houſe of James Gilleſpy, upon Peedee River; who was a ſubſtantial planter, and a hoſpitable man, I think by profeſſion a Preſbyterian. His heart ſeemed opened towards us. Of him we inquired after the ſettlement of Friends which we had heard of, but could get no intelligence of it; yet were our minds mercifully preſerved pretty eaſy and quiet, although we knew not which way we ſhould ſteer our courſe from this place, being all of us ſtrangers in the country. In a ſhort time, I found freedom to propoſe to my companion, our having a meeting in the neighbourhood; with which ſhe concurring, we aſked our kind hoſt, before we went to bed, whether he thought we might have a religious opportunity with ſome of his neighbours. He made but little reply then, but in the morning told Robert Millhouſe, that if we would ſtay till Firſt-day, we ſhould be welcome both to what entertainment he could give us and our horſes, and alſo to have a meeting in his houſe; and he would ſend his ſervant to acquaint his neighbours. To this we aſſented, and ſpent the next day peaceably there. On the Firſt-day we had a meeting, which was not large, and, by reaſon of the ignorance of the people in divine truths, was exerciſing to our minds. A young man, who came from the ſettlement of Friends which we were in queſt of, being in this neighbourhood on buſineſs, and hearing of the meeting, ſtaid to attend it. After it was over, he informed Robert Millhouſe, that ſeveral families of Friends were ſettled about twenty miles up the river, to whom he was going the next day, and ſhould be glad of our company. To this we readily aſſented, and, being thus providentially inſtructed in our way, we next morning took leave of our kind friend James Gilleſpy, who had generouſly entertained us while at his houſe. We called at the houſe where we had appointed to meet our expected guide; but it being a very wet morning, he concluded we ſhould not move, and was gone; however, we had got ſuch intelligence from him of the way, that, with a little more which we obtained as we went along, we found the friend's houſe to which we intended to go. He was a poor man lately convinced, but he gladly received us, and freely gave us ſuch entertainment as his circumſtances would afford; which though very mean, was made eaſy and pleaſant to us, being ſweetened by the gentle flowings of divine peace in our hearts.

We found here a few newly convinced friends, and ſome others under convincement; with whom we had two meetings to good ſatisfaction, many things ſuitable to their ſtates being opened both by way of doctrine and encouragement; and we were glad that we were thus directed to find them in this deſolate ſpot; which was very diſtant from any Friends; but they were under the Divine regard. They had not ſettled a meeting; but as our guides from the Wateree were returning home, they found them buſy in building a meeting-houſe; and we afterwards heard that a meeting was ſettled amongſt them.

The 20th, we left Peedee River, accompanied by John and Charles Moreman, and the two friends who came with us from the Wateree, and ſet our faces towards a ſettlement of Friends on the Waters of Haw River. The morning was wet when we ſet out and I was very poorly; but in a little time the weather cleared up, and I grew better. We rode that day about forty miles through the woods, without ſeeing any houſe; and at night took up our lodging in the woods, by the ſide of a branch or ſwamp, which afforded plenty of canes for our horſes. Our friends made us a little ſhed of the branches of pine-trees, on a riſing ſandy ground, which abounded with lofty pines. We made a large fire, and it being a calm, fair, moon-light night, we ſpent it cheerfully, though we ſlept but little. Our ſaddles were our pillows; and we had in company a man, who came from Peedee and was going a part of our next day's journey, whoſe wife had ſent a blanket; which, with one our friends had brought, being thrown at our backs upon our ſhed ſheltered us much; ſo that we ſtill ſaw kind Providence cared for us. In the morning we purſued our journey, and went that day about forty-five miles; and at night took up our lodging again in the woods, but did not meet with ſo advantageous a ſpot as the night before, for the ground was wet, and the ſhelter bad, and poor wood for firing. The weather alſo being very cold, and my companion ill with a pain in her face, and myſelf but poorly, we ſpent the night very uncomfortably as to the body, but through divine favour were preſerved quiet, and reſigned in ſpirit.

We ſet out next morning in hopes of reaching a ſettlement of Friends at new Garden that day; but the pain in my companion's face continuing, we thought it beſt to ſtop at William Rinalds's at Polecat, who was under the profeſſion of Truth; and the next day, being the Firſt of the week, we had a meeting there with a few friends, and ſome of the neighbours; which was exerciſing, yet ended in a ſenſe of Divine ſweetneſs.

The 24th, we went to New Garden, and ſtaid amongſt friends in that ſettlement till the 28th. This was a new ſettlement of Friends, and we were the firſt from Europe that had viſited them, or travelled in theſe parts in the ſervice of Truth.

We had pretty cloſe ſervice among them, and laboured for the eſtabliſhment of a meeting for miniſters and elders in their monthly meetings; which we found was much wanting: and we had reaſon to hope that the propoſition would be adopted; divers Friends being convinced of its uſefulneſs, and ſeemed glad that it became our concern to recommend it. We found a ſincere-hearted remnant in this meeting, unto whom the Lord united us; but there was alſo a dead, formal, profeſſing ſpirit, under which the living were ſorely oppreſſed; as well as under a flaſhy wordy miniſtry.

The 29th, we got to Cane Creek, another new ſettlement of Friends; with whom we had a meeting the 30th, wherein we were rather low, yet favoured with peace in our ſpirits.

The 31ſt, we went about 30 miles to a very ſmall meeting on the river Eno, which was very exerciſing; for through their number was ſmall, their ſtates were various, and ſome of them widely diſtant from that pure, humble, living, ſenſible diſpoſition which Truth produces. And as it was the will of the Almighty, meaſurably to baptiſe us into the ſtates of the people, we could not but ſuffer in ſpirit with his pure ſeed; and it ſeemed as though a drawn ſword was delivered to us in this the begining of our journey, which we were to uſe againſt ſpiritual wickedneſs; and not to ſpare, though it were exalted in high places. Here we laboured for the eſtabliſhment of a Week-day meeting.

The 2d of the Firſt month, 1754, my companion returned to Cane Creek, in order to be at their Week-day meeting; and I went about ſix miles up the River, being engaged to have a meeting amongſt a people not profeſſing with us. Many came to it, and behaved ſoberly, but moſt of them ſeemed very ignorant of ſpiritual things; and ſome were heavy laden with divers ſins; but kind Providence ſo favoured me, that I left them pretty eaſy, and returned to my companion at Cane Creek, the 4th. The ſame day we had a meeting at Rocky River, which was ſatisfactory, and we returned to Cane Creek, and were at the Firſt-day meeting there.

The 7th, we ſet out for Carver's Creek, a journey of about 160 miles, through an almoſt uninhabited country. We were accompanied by John Wright and J. Pigot, friends. The accommodation we met with was very mean, but rendered eaſy, under a ſenſe of our being in the way of our duty. At one place where we lodged, the room wherein we lay was expoſed to the weather on almoſt every ſide, and it being a wet night, the rain beat in upon us in bed; but my mind was preſerved in ſweet peace, and under ſome degree of a ſenſe of Divine favour. The woman of the houſe was of a tender ſpirit, and appeared to be ſeeking after ſubſtantial good. I had conſiderable freedom to ſpeak to her on religious ſubjects; which ſhe took well, and I was thankful that our lots were caſt under that roof.

Another night, we lay in the woods, with tolerable comfort, though the weather was cold, and the ground damp. About two hours before we ſtopped, as I was attempting to croſs a ſwamp on ſome looſe pieces of wood, one of them rolled, and threw me backward into it. One of our friends was leading me, and the other, ſeeing me in danger of falling, ſtepped behind me into the ſwamp, and caught me, ſo that I was wet but on one ſide, except my feet: and, although I mounted my horſe immediately after putting on a dry pair of ſtockings, rode in my wet clothes, and lay down in them, I was preſerved from taking cold. In the night two of our horſes When travellers who lodge in the woods turn their horſes to graze, they faſten a bell about each of their necks, and if they miſs the ſound of any of them, they go to ſee whether they are not ſtrayed far from the ſhed. ſtrayed away from us, and our guides were obliged to leave us and go in queſt of them; ſo that we were ſeveral hours ourſelves in this wilderneſs, ſurrounded, for aught we knew, by bears, wolves, and panthers. Before we pitched our tent, I had been intimidated by an account which had been given me reſpecting the panthers infeſting that quarter; one of which it was ſaid had killed a perſon not very far diſtant from this ſpot; but when we were thus left, all fear was removed, and we ſpent the time of our friend's abſence cheerfully. I went without the ſhelter of our ſhed, and renewed our fire with ſome wood our friends had gathered. The fire under Providence, was probably our preſervation from thoſe ferocious animals.

It was a fine moon-light night, our friends tracked our horſes' footſteps in the ſand for about three miles in the way we had come, and found them feeding on ſome luxuriant canes. The ſagacious animals probably obſerved them as they came to the ſpot where we pitched our tent, and having but poor feeding there, went back to fill their bellies. As we proceeded on our journey, ſome of our company diſcovered the track of a wild beaſt in the ſand, which gave room to ſuſpect that they had been near our tents in the night; but we were preſerved both from their fury, and from being affrighted by their hideous howl. However, as we rode through the woods in the morning, we heard the barking of wolves at a ſmall diſtance from us, but a riſing ground prevented us from ſeeing them.

We breakfaſted at a miſerable inn, about eight or ten miles on our way; where we met ſuch a wicked ſet of company, who had ſpent the night there, that we concluded it providential that we did not preſs forward to lodge there; reſpecting which we were conſidering before we pitched our tent. It appeared much more comfortable to be under the open canopy of heaven, and the protection of Providence, though among the wild beaſts, than among thoſe of the human race, whoſe natures were ſo depraved as to render them more terrible and dangerous: the firſt only (or at leaſt generally), aſſaulting mankind of neceſſity, or by provocation; but the laſt from the incitements of their depraved paſſions.

We went forward to Dunn's Creek, and had a ſmall meeting, with a few under the profeſſion of Truth; and from thence to Carver's Creek the ſame night, being the 12th. The 13th, we had a meeting there, and the 14th, went to Wilmington, on Cape Fear River, where we had two meetings the 15th. There are none in this place who can properly be called members of our ſociety, but many people came to the meetings, and behaved civilly; and the teſtimony of Truth ran pretty freely towards them in doctrine, reproof, and counſel; though I believe many of them were of very looſe converſation. The 16th, we returned to Carver's Creek, ſo to Brompton, Dunn's Creek, and Cape Fear.

The 20th, we proceeded towards Perquimons River, being accompanied by our friends William Hall and B. Cooper. We calculated our journey to Perquimons at 273 miles; going acroſs the country to viſit ſeveral ſmall meetings of Friends; amongſt whom, and the people of other ſocieties, we had ſome ſatisfactory ſervice. No women-miniſters had viſited part of this country before us, ſo that the people were probably excited by curioſity to attend ſome of the meetings we appointed. We found a few ſeeking people in theſe back ſettlements, who had very little, even of what they eſteem, inſtrumental help, in this wilderneſs country; which appears too poor for prieſtcraft to thrive in; but I hoped the Lord would gather ſome of them to faith in his own immediate inſtruction. In this journey we met with conſiderable hardſhips, the people amongſt whom we were being very poor, their houſes cold, and proviſions mean. One night we lodged in a void houſe on the River Neice. A man who kept a ſtore on the other ſide of the river, gave us the liberty of it, ſent his negroes to make us a fire, and lent us a bed and coverings for it. We were content, although our proviſions were ſo near ſpent that we had very little to refreſh ourſelves with, after a hard day's journey; and we could get neither bread for ourſelves, nor corn for our horſes, for our money; as the man who lent us the houſe and bed, would let us have none, though we ſent to requeſt it. Our friends William Hall and B. Cooper accompanied us more than 100 miles in this journey.

On the 6th of the Second month, we reached Perquimons River, on which, and the River Paſquatank, the main body of Friends in the province of North Carolina was ſettled.

Our firſt meeting among them was at the Piney Woods meeting-houſe, which was pretty large conſidering the ſhortneſs of the time allowed to give notice of it; and the Lord was pleaſed to favour us with a good opportunity: the ſpirits of ſenſible friends preſent were in a good degree ſettled, and I hope refreſhed. We viſited two other meetings in this quarter, in one of which neither of us had much publick ſervice. There is a number of valuable friends in this country, who were under ſuffering from the prevalence of a ſpirit of carnal eaſe, and alſo from the miniſtry of ſome who will not be reſtrained by wholeſome counſel: wherewith a number are amuſed rather than profitably fed; and inſtead of being ſolidly ſettled in a ſilent exerciſe of ſpirit, they are in continual expectation of words, and remain in ſorrowful ignorance of the operation of Truth in themſelves.

Here it ſeems neceſſary to go back a little, and give ſome account of an exerciſe which attended my mind, when about Carver's Creek. It was to part from my companion, and go the lower way through Bath Town, to the county of Perquimons; but the difficulty of getting guides ſuitable for us both, and an unwillingneſs to part from my companion, conſidering the deſolate journey ſhe would have to go, and not being quite well in her health, determined me to accompany her; nevertheleſs, I ſtood open to be turned back when I had a ſuitable evidence of its being required. Here, an exerciſe reſpecting thoſe places being again revived, and being fearful of omitting my duty, I mentioned the going back to them to my companion, who, although ſhe was not free to accompany me, was eaſy with my going, and rather diſpoſed to encourage me. Her health ſeemed to require a little reſt, which ſhe purpoſed to take at the houſe of our friend Thomas Nicholſon of Little River, who had not long ſince paid a religious viſit to Friends in England. I then propoſed it to Friends to ſet forward the 11th, and if Providence permitted, to return to their quarterly meeting in Paſquatank county; to which they only objected, that they feared the notice was ſo ſhort, that they could not procure ſuitable companions for me. However, they reſolved to mention it after the meeting on the 10th, and ſee if any friend would offer to go with me, to which I agreed; but told one of the moſt ſenſible amongſt them, that if the way did not pretty readily open, I durſt not puſh much for it; which, conſidering the event, I was glad I had ſaid.

After meeting, I was informed that two young men, and Rebecca Tombs, a valuable friend, and an acceptable miniſter, were willing to accompany me. I did not find any objection in my mind to accepting her company, though I had not requeſted it; but an uncommon ſenſe of ſorrow ſeized my ſpirits; though I did not ſee that I ought to omit the journey, nor yet comprehend the cauſe of the exerciſe. Next morning I took leave of my companion Mary Peiſley, in pretty much the ſame ſtate of mind; and, after croſſing Perquimons River, we rode that day to Eden Town. On the road my mind became quiet, yet was low. The names of the young men who accompanied us were Nathaniel Newley and John White.

The 12th we had a meeting at Eden Town, which on account of the exceſſive coldneſs of the weather, was not large, and it was much diſturbed by a wicked drunken man, while I was ſpeaking; with whom, being a litigious lawyer, the town's people were afraid to meddle, leſt he ſhould have an action againſt them: ſo I was obliged to bear it, and the meeting concluded with leſs ſolemnity than I could have wiſhed. I obſerved a ſerious looking woman in the meeting, and thought if ſhe aſked me to her houſe I ſhould go; which ſhe did, and in the evening I went, accompanied by my companion. We found both herſelf and her huſband under a religious exerciſe; and ſeveral things were opened in me to ſpeak to them, which were well received, and I left them in a good degree of peace; believing that the ſeaſoning virtue of Truth had been felt in our converſation. There was no meeting of Friends in this town, and we lodged at an inn.

The 13th, in the morning, we croſſed a ferry, eight miles over. The weather was extremely cold, which affected Rebecca Tombs much. The froſt was ſo hard, that the water in the Sound we had croſſed was frozen ſome diſtance from the ſhore on each ſide, but we got through it ſafe. We rode about twenty-five miles, lodged at a mean inn; and next morning early we ſet out for Bath Town. When we had rode about ſeven miles, I had a fall from my horſe, occaſioned by the horſe's ſtarting at a bird flying out of a tree. I fell over the ſaddle, on my right arm, and the ground being very hard from the froſt, it was much hurt; but I eſteemed it a great favour that the bone was not broken. When we came to the next inn, my companion procured ſome wormwood with vinegar, and bound it round my arm; and we proceeded to Bath Town, though my arm gave me much pain.

I had ſome thoughts of croſſing the ferry here, which is four miles over, and ſo proceeding to Newbern; but having received this hurt, and the wind being contrary, I became inclined to have a meeting here the next day. Juſt as we alighted at the inn, a reſpectable looking man, who I afterwards found was an attorney, and lived about two miles out of town, came in; to whom I found freedom to impart our deſire of having a meeting, and to conſult him about a proper place to hold it in. He appeared well pleaſed with the propoſition, and we concluded to hold it in the morning in the court-houſe, if the weather were warm enough to admit of the people's ſitting there; if not, our landlord gave us the liberty of a room in his houſe. I had much pain from my arm this afternoon; but ſomenting it as before, it became eaſier towards evening. Our meeting was attended next day by a pretty many people, moſt of whom behaved with ſobriety; but the life of religion was ſcarcely ſo much as known by many of them; yet the Lord was pleaſed to open many goſpel truths to them; which were delivered under a feeling ſenſe of their low ignorant ſtate, and I truſt had their ſervice. After this meeting, as I was returning to my inn, my mind ſeemed drawn to return back to my companion Mary Peiſley; and when I came to the inn, I found Rebecca Tombs, who had got thither before me, ſeized with an ague; which brought a heavy weight of exerciſe upon my ſpirit, and I ſoon became apprehenſive of her being removed by death. The ſame evening alſo one of the young men who came with us, was taken ill in the ſame way, and I was myſelf very poorly with a cold, which affected my head and throat. Next day Rebecca Tombs's indiſpoſition increaſed, and I became very thoughtful whether I had beſt endeavour to remove her homewards, or continue her at Bath Town. There appeared to me danger of my incurring cenſure from her relations, in acting either way. I therefore concluded it beſt to refer it to Providence, and ſee what turn it would take in her own mind. In the afternoon ſhe diſcovered a deſire to be removed, and I found moſt eaſe of mind in acting accordingly.

I met in this town, to my ſurpriſe, with a young woman who was daughter to a principal tradeſman of the neighbourhood of Dudley. She had been my ſchool-fellow. Her huſband, whom ſhe married in England, kept a ſtore in this place. They ſeeing our afflicted ſituation, readily furniſhed us with a chaiſe for our return; ſo we prepared for going, and the attorney before-mentioned generouſly lent us a horſe, and a negro-man to bring it back. He was at our inn in the evening. I went to him, and acknowledged his civility and kindneſs to us; and before we parted, we fell into a religious converſation, which I hoped might have its ſervice. Several perſons were preſent, one of them the ſheriff of the county, who had ſome ſhare in the diſcourſe and offered his houſe to have a meeting in. The attorney ſpoke with great moderation, and made conſiderable conceſſions reſpecting the ceremonial part of religion, and ſeemed pleaſed with the information I gave him of the principles and diſcipline of Friends; which I was remarkably opened to give ſome account of, and we parted friendly.

After he got home, he ſent me ſome wine to aſſiſt the friend in our journey (which neceſſity made an acceptable preſent, as we could buy none that was good in town), with a letter to requeſt that, if I ſtaid longer in the country than I expected, I would come to his houſe; which I took kindly, and ſuitably acknowledged his civility. I juſt add reſpecting Bath Town, that the man of the inn, though he behaved civilly to us, appeared to be of a dark ferocious diſpoſition. One night a poor negro girl fell aſleep at the top of the ſtairs, near our chamber door, and he ſeeing her there kicked her down them. The poor girl cried out, but I did not hear that ſhe was wounded by the fall. Indeed darkneſs ſeemed to ſurround us in this houſe.

The 17th, being the Firſt-day of the week, we ſet forward in the chaiſe, and got eighteen miles on our way and lodged at the ſame houſe of entertainment as we did when we came down; where we had very poor accommodation. My friend was greatly fatigued, ſhe grew much worſe that night, and next morning the young man that was unwell went to acquaint her huſband with her indiſpoſition; but the Almighty did not ſee ſit to continue her in pain till her huſband came to her. Her pain was indeed extreme, and ſoon effected the end for which it was deſigned; for the 20th in the morning, ſhe quietly expired. From near the firſt of her being taken ill, ſhe had a ſenſe that it would end in death, and was enabled to reſign herſelf and her near connexions into the hands of Providence. She deſired me to pen ſome memorandums of love and advice, to her huſband, children, and relations; and then ſaid, ſhe had nothing to do but to die. She ſeveral times expreſſed her ſatisfaction in having a clear conſcience, and I was convinced of her ſpirit's centering in everlaſting bleſſedneſs. About twenty-four hours before ſhe departed, I was concerned to ſupplicate the Almighty on her behalf, that he might be pleaſed to mitigate her pain, and grant her ſpirit an eaſy paſſage out of its afflicted tabernacle: for which ſhe expreſſed thankfulneſs; and in a ſhort time her pain gradually abated, and her death was remarkably eaſy. Her diſorder appeared to be pleuretic. We got her bled, and made uſe of ſuch other means as our circumſtances admitted; but ſhe was averſe to having a doctor, nor do I think that one would have been of any ſervice to her.

Through this uncommon trial, my ſpirit was ſingularly preſerved in patience and ſtability, though ſometimes inexpreſſibly loaded. My health being but poorly, the fatigue I ſuſtained bore hard upon me; but I was enabled to diſcharge my duty to my friend, and in the end witneſſed the return of peace. My lodging was in the ſame room with her. I lay down in my clothes upon a bench by the fire-ſide, whereon the landlady laid ſomething to render it the more eaſy. The young man who continued with us behaved with remarkable compoſure, patience, and affection to the friend, who was his aunt, and I had reaſon to hope that the journey would be of laſting ſervice to him.

The day ſhe departed we got a coffin made, and put the corps into it. Whilſt it was making, my neighbour Turton (brother to the young woman who kindly furniſhed us with the chaiſe at Bath Town) came in, and was ſurpriſed to meet me here. As we had ſent back the chaiſe, and he was going to his ſiſter's, he took charge of it. In the evening, I got a religious opportunity with the family at the inn; and the next morning ſet off with the corps of my deceaſed friend. We had procured the wheels of a cart to carry it on, and a man to drive it.

We got well to the Sound, over which we were to croſs to Eden Town; but before we got into the boat we met the huſband of our deceaſed friend, who bore the ſhock full as well as I expected; and it muſt have been great, to meet in ſo unexpected a manner the corps of an endeared, affectionate wife. The ſame evening we croſſed the ferry, and proceeded to the houſe of a planter, who had brought home the corps of his In this country the changes of the weather are ſo ſudden, and ſo extreme from hot to cold, that when a hard froſt laſts for a pretty many days, the people frequently drop off ſuddenly, with pleuretic diſorders. I thought their manner of living might in many inſtances contribute to their ſudden death. They eat pork, or other fleſh, at almoſt every meal, not excepting breakfaſt, and ſuch as can get it (too generally) drink neat rum. Frequently, they rather chooſe to drink water alone, and take their drams, than mix them together. mother about two hours before we came into it.

The 22d, we croſſed Perquimons River, and got the corps home; but the affecting ſorrowful ſcene of meeting the poor motherleſs children (of which there were ſeven), and other near relations and friends of the deceaſed, is difficult to deſcribe; nor ſhall I attempt it, as the ideas it muſt raiſe in a ſenſible mind, will ſufficiently repreſent it.

That night I went to my companion Mary Peiſley, and through mercy found her well at Thomas Nicholſon's; and next day we went to the quarterly meeting of Friends for the province of North Carolina, held at Old Neck in Paſquatank county. The meeting was large but exerciſing, weakneſs being ſenſibly felt. I was favoured with a good opportunity amongſt Friends, wherewith I had reaſon to believe the ſenſible part of them had unity, and were thankful for it.

The 25th, we attended the meeting for miniſters and elders, and a large publick meeting, which though very exerciſing in the beginning, ended well; for which favour we had renewed cauſe to bleſs the Almighty, who baptizes his miniſters into the ſtates of the people, and enables them to miniſter thereto.

The 25th, we attended the funeral of Rebecca Tombs; and the meeting was large and crowned with ſolemnity. After the meeting, a young man who kept the ferry at Perquimons River, deſired to ſpeak with me. When I came over the ferry with the corps of Rebecca Tombs, he was with us in the boat, and while we were upon the water, my mind was affected on his behalf, ſo much, that when we landed I took him aſide and ſpoke cloſely to him. What I ſaid had ſuch an effect, that he told me, he could do no leſs than acknowledge the truth of it; and withal, that his mind was ſo awakened thereby, that he could take no reſt ſince. I ſaid what then aroſe in my heart to encourage him to endure the chaſtiſing hand of the Lord, until his judgments had wrought their proper effect; and left him with thankfulneſs that I had been made inſtrumental to awaken a poor prodigal to a ſenſe of his outgoings: for ſuch I afterwards heard he was, though the ſon of a friend in good eſteem.

Although I had been almoſt miraculouſly ſupported through the before recited trials, and had been enabled to miniſter to many people as I paſſed along in my journey to Bath Town, and my return; yet conſidering all the circumſtances attending it, much cauſe for painful rumination was adminiſtered. I might naturally query whether it were right for me to turn back, as the ends I had in view, viz. the viſiting a few Friends in a deſolate ſituation, as well as having meetings at Eden Town and Bath Town, were in part fruſtrated; and the afflicted caſe of the deceaſed friend's numerous family, who, perhaps might have been ſpared a little longer with them, had ſhe not gone with me, bore ſo hard upon my mind, that, like Jonah, I wiſhed to die; but I quickly ſaw, that in ſo doing I erred greatly; for in that impatient ſtate of mind I was not fit to enter into the ſaint's reſt. After ſome time my mind ſettled in a good degree of quiet, and it appeared that perhaps the deſign of Infinite Wiſdom, in engaging me to move, as before mentioned, might, in a good degree, be anſwered. And as to Rebecca Tombs, ſhe appeared to be in ſo weak a ſtate when ſhe left home, that had ſhe ſtaid there, her ſurviving that pinching ſeaſon of the weather might well be doubted.

The 26th we left the province of North Carolina, and came into Virginia, and the Lord was pleaſed to cauſe his peace ſo to reſt upon our ſpirits, that we were renewedly convinced, that we were moving in his counſel. We had travelled upwards of a thouſand miles in North Carolina, and been preſerved through various jeopardies and trials, to the praiſe of his adorable name.

The 27th we had our firſt meeting in Virginia, wherein the teſtimony of truth was borne in a cloſe manner by both of us, againſt a dull inactive ſpirit, and appeared to have ſome preſent effect.

The 28th we went to Nancemond River, and viſited ſeveral meetings on it, and adjacent to it; wherein we were ſtill exerciſed to ſpeak cloſely to the members of them; which I believe tended to the relief of the ſenſible part of Friends. In one of theſe meetings, having been cloſely engaged in teſtimony, I cautioned friends to beware of judging me for the liberty which I took amongſt them, in laying open the ſtate of the ſociety, although ſome of other ſocieties were preſent; remarking, that it was more likely to convince conſiderate people of the truth, than to hear them ſalved over in their ſins. I concluded with ſome ſhort remarks and hints of advice to ſuch as were not under our name, which I ſuppoſe had its effect on a pretty high profeſſor of the church of England, who accidentally came into the meeting; for the next day he followed us ſeven miles to a meeting, wherein I was told he was much broken into tears; and the day following he came about twelve miles to another meeting; I therefore hoped that the Truth had been at work in his heart. I record this paſſage as an incitement to a faithful diſcharge of duty in the line the All-wiſe Director of true miniſters points out. He can make effectual a few ſimple expreſſions to the gathering of thoſe who are without; or even ſanctify to them the doctrine which may be loſt on the unfaithful profeſſors of his truth.

The 17th of the Third month, we had a meeting at Surry Black Water, which was large; Friends from the neighbouring meetings, and many perſons of other ſocieties, collecting at it. After the meeting, a pretty high profeſſor of the church of England (his name Peter Worrel), but who for ſome years had been diſſatisfied therewith, and had been ſeeking the way of Truth, ſought an opportunity of converſation with us. He had followed us to ſeveral meetings, and being ſerious in his inquiries, and free in expreſſing his ſentiments, he told my companion (who had had moſt of the ſervice in the meetings he had attended), that he could not diſcover much difference between the ground of the doctrine he had heard from her, and the fundamental principles of the church of England. I ſaw his ſtate, that he heard with his bodily ears, and judged by his natural underſtanding, of which he had a good ſhare, and had read much. I therefore told him, that if he would attain the knowledge of the Truth, he muſt not only underſtand the words which were ſpoken, but the power whereby they were given forth; for that, according to the Apoſtle's teſtimony, The kingdom of God ſtands not in word, but in power, which, with ſomething elſe I ſaid, adapted to his caſe, was carried home beyond my expectation. He followed us to another meeting, and then ſought an opportunity with me alone; when he told me, that what I had dropped in converſation, and that day in my miniſtry, had ſo affected him, that he was now convinced that a Divine power accompanied true goſpel miniſtry, and that he thought he ſhould join with us in ſociety; but that he was under ſome diſcouragement on account of the degeneracy of many of our members. I ſaid what then aroſe in my heart, by way of exciting him to faithfulneſs; and he parted from us in much love: indeed he was remarkably changed from the time we firſt ſaw him; his very countenance beſpoke him to have been with Jeſus. He was ſilent, ſolid, and weighty in ſpirit, though before talkative and full of head-knowledge in religion. I afterwards heard well of him, and I think he ſettled amongſt Friends.

I could not but remark on this occaſion, how ſecretly, and almoſt unknown to ourſelves, the Almighty ſometimes makes uſe of us to the effecting of his gracious purpoſes: for in the meetings this man had attended, previouſly to our converſation with him, I was much ſhut up as to miniſtry; and my companion was favoured in the exerciſe of her gift; in one of them remarkably ſo; and yet it appeared that I was made the principal inſtrument of good to this poor ſeeking ſoul.

We then viſited ſeveral meetings upon Appomatox River; and the Lord was with us, bleſſed be his name; thence to the South-weſt Mountains, where we were led in a very low track, myſelf eſpecially. Thence we proceeded through many meetings to James River, and ſo to the quarterly meeting at Wyanoak Swamp. By the time I came to James River, I was ſunk exceedingly low in mind; but as I abode in the patience, the Lord, in his time, was pleaſed to raiſe me again to his own honour. From James River, we went through many meetings in Carolina County, up Sherrando River, and by Opeekan Creek to Fair-fax, which was the laſt meeting we had in Virginia.

In this Colony we had much ſuffering of ſpirit, for, although in many inſtances we were favoured with a good degree of ſtrength and wiſdom, to ſpeak to the ſtates of the people; yet could we not but ſympathize with the ſeed of life, which in many of their ſouls was oppreſſed by a dark carnal ſpirit: wherein the diſcipline is too much conducted, or rather in ſome places ſo perverted, that this deſigned wall of defence, is rather a ſtumbling-block to ſober inquiries. There are a number of valuable friends among them; but in ſome particulars, who, had they kept to the ſimplicity of Truth, might have been ſerviceable in the miniſtry; ſound and flight are grievouſly mixed therein, which will never convince the judgment, or ſettle the mind in the ſtability of Truth, although they may pleaſe the ear, and affect the paſſions. After leaving the province, we ſent them an epiſtle, which was principally penned by my companion

I think a providential preſervation which we experienced in this province worthy recording, but, not having retained it in the memorandums I have preſerved, I cannot aſcertain the name of the river at which it happened. After a long day's journey, wherein we had dined in the woods on a ſcanty meal, we came in the evening to the ford of a broad, rapid river, which, from the appearance of the waves, we might ſuppoſe had a ſtony bottom. Neither of our guides were acquainted with the ford, and we were afraid to attempt to croſs it until it was tried by one of them: ſo the youngeſt of them, about 19, went rather beyond the middle of the ſtream; and not finding it very deep, called to us to follow, which we with the other guide did, when each of them took charge of one of us.

My companion followed him who went firſt, and they kept a pretty ſtraight courſe acroſs the river; but my horſe, and that of the other friend, bended down the ſtream, which I concluded was occaſioned by its force and rapidity. When we got over, we learned that the bed of the river, which was of large pebbles, was ſo uneven as to render it dangerous. To ford it ſafely, the horſes ſhould have gone a little way down the ſtream, and turned up again to the landing place; for by going ſtraight acroſs, the edge of a pit in the bottom muſt be gone over, which was accounted thirty feet deep, ſo that my companion was in conſiderable danger. Surely much caution is neceſſary for travellers in croſſing unknown waters.

The 25th of the Fourth month we had a meeting at Monoccaſy in Maryland, wherein Truth meaſurably favoured; from which we proceeded to Weſt River, taking the meetings in our way. We came to Weſt River the 29th, and could not get a releaſe from thence till the 8th of the Fifth month. The profeſſors of Truth in this ſettlement are principally of the offspring of faithful anceſtors; but divers of them have taken their flight on the wings of vanity and earthly riches, and ſlighted the truly valuable eternal inheritance; and, I fear, ſome even deſpiſe that precious faith which was once delivered to the ſaints. We had ſix meetings with them, in four of which I was ſilent; and my companion had not much liberty of ſpirit until the laſt meeting; wherein the teſtimony of Truth was raiſed in its own dominion. The yearly meeting for this part of Maryland was held during our ſtay; which, as uſual, was attended by people of other ſocieties, and, I heard there was a great deſire to hear me ſpeak in this place; but the Lord was pleaſed very much to diſappoint their expectation.

The 8th we went to Gerrard Hopkins's, upon South River: in the way I had a dangerous fall from my horſe, whereby my left arm was much hurt, but, through Divine favour, no bone was broken or diſlocated.

The 9th, we proceeded on our journey, although my arm was ſo weak and painful that I was obliged to carry it in a ſling. We paſſed through ſeveral meetings in Baltimore county, to Duck Creek and Buſh River, and in many places my companion had good ſervice; but great were my trials of ſpirit about this time, under which the Divine arm ſecretly ſuſtained me. Oh! what need is there to ſtand ſtill in theſe ſtripping, dipping ſeaſons, and wait low to diſcern the way whereby we may eſcape the temptations of the ſubtil enemy. As I was favoured to abide here, a little light and ſtrength was afforded; whereby I was encouraged to truſt in that arm of Almighty ſufficiency which had hitherto preſerved me; and was reſigned to travel forward, although I might be led in a low deſpiſed track.

The 18th, we came to Suſquehannah River, and the 19th, to Eaſt Nottingham in Pennſylvania, to the houſe of my dear and worthy friend John Churchman, who was not yet returned from a viſit to Friends in England; but his wife and ſon gladly received us. The 22d we reached Philadelphia, and took up our lodging with our worthy and ancient friend Rachel Pemberton.

Here my dear companion met with a trial very affecting to nature, an account of the death of her father; which however ſhe was the better prepared to receive, from a remarkable ſenſe having for ſome time reſted upon her mind that it was ſo; and ſhe was aſſiſted to bear it with Chriſtian reſignation and fortitude, being favoured with the cheering hope that he went well.

We ſtaid in Philadelphia till the 29th, attending the meetings of Friends as they came in courſe, wherein I had ſome ſervice, and was favoured with peace in the diſcharge of my duty, though led in a low track, very contrary to the expectations of the people, which were to be diſappointed. My companion was moſtly ſilent during our ſtay in this city.

The 29th we left Philadelphia, and ſet our faces towards the eaſtern colonies. We appointed but one meeting between Philadelphia and New York; where we had two large publick meetings, which were attended by many people of other ſocieties; who behaved well, and the teſtimony of Truth was borne to them by us both. In the evening my companion had an inclination to have a ſelect opportunity with Friends in that city; which, I believe, was memorable to ſome preſent, for ſhe was much favoured amongſt them.

On the 3d of the Sixth month, we croſſed the river to Long Iſland; and the 5th, had a ſmall meeting with a few who profeſſed the truth at Setoket, and ſo proceeded to the eaſt end of the iſland, intending to go from thence to the yearly meeting in Rhode Iſland. We were accompanied by two Friends from Philadelphia, John Aimil and Thomas Lightfoot, and one from Setoket. Here we were detained near two days by contrary winds, and lodged at the houſe of a friendly man, a Preſbyterian, but more generous in his way of thinking than are many of that profeſſion in this Iſland. I had a concern to have a meeting with the neighbours, and a young man kindly offered his houſe; which we accepted, and a pretty many people came, and behaved well while I was ſpeaking; but very ſoon after I had done, moſt of them went away, although the meeting was not yet concluded. The Almighty was pleaſed to cauſe many goſpel truths to be opened to them, and although it ſeemed to take too little effect, I had peace in the diſcharge of my duty.

On the 8th, we ſet ſail in a ſloop, but the wind not favouring, we dropt anchor that night, and next day, being the Firſt of the week, went on ſhore at a place about two miles diſtant from whence we embarked. Here we were received by another Preſbyterian, and that day were favoured with a comfortable religious opportunity together. The wind continued contrary to the 12th, in which interval we had a meeting with ſome of the neighbours; which, although exerciſing by reaſon of the hardneſs of their hearts, was favoured by Divine condeſcenſion; many goſpel truths being teſtified to therein, which I hope had admittance in ſome minds.

The 12th, early in the morning we ſailed, accompanied by the before-mentioned friends, and landed on Rhode Iſland in the afternoon.

The 13th, we attended a large meeting at Portſmouth. The 14th, the yearly meeting began, which was held at Newport, and continued till the 17th. It was attended by a large number of Friends and others; and the Lord was pleaſed to manifeſt his ancient love and power amongſt us, whereby our ſpirits were ſet at liberty in the exerciſe of our gifts. I had particularly, at divers times, to oppoſe that dark principle of unconditional election and reprobation, and had cauſe to hope the teſtimony againſt it had weight with ſome of its profeſſors. We were exerciſed for the reſtoration of diſcipline, which had been much neglected in this quarter; and our endeavours for its eſtabliſhment were meaſurably crowned with ſucceſs; ſo that, upon the whole, at this yearly meeting abundant cauſe was adminiſtered for thankfulneſs to the bounteous Author of all good. We viſited the priſon; we alſo viſited ſeveral friends who were confined through indiſpoſition; in which charitable ſervice we had peace and comfort.

The 19th, we went to Tiverton, and ſo, through ſeveral meetings in that quarter, to the monthly meeting at Poniganſet, wherein we were exceeding cloſely exerciſed; the teſtimony principally directed to Friends.

After we left Newport, my mind was much diſtreſſed, and drawn back to that place, but my companion not encouraging me, and I being fearful, did not return, which I had afterwards reaſon to believe I ought to have done; for after our leaving it, a young man whom we had viſited in his illneſs died. He was of conſiderable account in the world, and juſt upon the point of marriage with an agreeable young woman of the ſame meeting. Had I moved in faith, I might have got to his funeral.

It is worthy remarking, that while I was under the exerciſe for returning back, two friends came to viſit us, and my companion being engaged above ſtairs, I was with them alone a ſhort time. We ſat a few minutes in ſilence, when one of them ſaid, Go down to the camp and ſee, without any comment upon the expreſſion. I had doubtleſs been ruminating why my mind ſhould be drawn back; and had I attended to this intimation, and ſet off immediately, I might, with cloſe riding, have reached the beforementioned funeral, and have returned in ſeaſon to the monthly meeting at Poniganſet; whereto, as Friends of the particular meetings reſorted, all the ſervice required of me might have been anſwered.

The 28th, we went on board a ſloop, and ſailed for the Iſland of Nantucket. We intended, by Divine permiſſion, to have attended the yearly meeting there, but the wind proving contrary, we did not get there till the 30th, when the meeting was in part over. We went on ſhore for a few hours on Elizabeth Iſland, where we ſaw no inhabitant; but it being a fine ſun-ſhine day, and the ground riſing from the ſea, we laid ourſelves down upon the turf, and got a little ſleep; for the ſloop was ſo crouded, being ſmall, that we could get very little on board. At Nantucket we met our friends Daniel Stanton, Iſrael Pemberton, &c. from Philadelphia, who had all been with us at the yearly meeting at Rhode Iſland. We were mutually refreſhed together, and the Lord favoured us in his ſervice, both in the work of the miniſtry and in diſcipline; to the ſatisfaction and relief of the ſenſible body of Friends, and I hope to the edification of ſome others.

The inhabitants of this Iſland were favoured with wonderful viſitations from on high, at the time when our valuable friends John Richardſon and others viſited America; by whoſe labours as miniſters, a large meeting was gathered to the praiſe of the Lord's name; which wrought powerfully to the turning the people from "darkneſs to light:" and many worthy profeſſors of Truth then belonged to it, men and women zealous for the honour of it, who walked in that true light wherein they had believed. But moſt of theſe being removed to their eternal manſions, and their offspring not generally walking by the ſame rule, our ſociety was in a ſtate of weakneſs, although the meeting was yet large, and there remained a living remnant in it. Some of the youth, eſpecially of our own ſex, appeared hopeful; but having been left much to themſelves, and the work of the diſcipline having been neglected, they were unprepared for it, and ignorant of its weight and neceſſity; ſo that the meeting ſeemed in a dwindling condition, as to the life of Truth. We laboured for an amendment in theſe reſpects; and in order thereto, recommended their bringing the young people of orderly converſations to their meetings for buſineſs (which had been too much neglected); with which Friends concurred, and alſo with the propoſition for their holding two meetings for worſhip on the Firſt-day; whereby the time, which was too frequently ſquandered away unprofitably, by at leaſt many of the younger ſort, might be better employed. Some of the members of the meeting living diſtant from it, had probably prevented their holding two meetings heretofore on the Firſt-day; but that was no excuſe for thoſe who dwelt in the town.

We left the Iſland in peace, in the afternoon of the 1ſt of the Seventh month, in company with our aforſaid friends from Philadelphia, and landed at Woodſhold the ſame evening; whence Daniel Stanton and Iſrael Pemberton returned homewards, but the other friend, not being quite eaſy to leave us, concluded, with our permiſſion▪ to accompany us a little further. He was one of thoſe who came with us from Philadelphia as guide, and had accompanied us to Rhode Iſland, and while with us, had been remarkably under the baptizing power of Truth; which raiſed a tender regard in our minds towards him, and we were not eaſy to refuſe his company, although he was in a ſingle ſtation. Our Friends alſo of Philadelphia, who left us here, concurred in his ſtay, and that the more freely, as ſome aſſiſtance might be wanted in ſome places we were about to paſs through.

Here I ſuggeſt ſome cautions neceſſary to be obſerved by young women in a ſingle ſtate, who travel in the ſervice of the miniſtry, towards thoſe of the other ſex, who are alſo unmarried.

Firſt, to guard their own minds, leſt they admit of any pleaſing imagination, and ſtamp it with the awful name of revelation; and ſo ſlide into a familiarity and freedom of converſation and behaviour, which might tend to engage the affections of young men. Secondly, to endeavour to retain a feeling ſenſe of the ſtate of the ſpirits of thoſe with whom they are intimate, and ſtrictly to obſerve their conduct and behaviour towards them: ſo will they be the better able to judge of their motives for accompanying them, or of any other act of kindneſs; and may wiſely check any forward thought which looks beyond friendſhip; which my eaſily be done by ſome prudent remarks (yet obliquely) in converſation. Thirdly, to beware of hurting any of theſe tender plants by an auſtere conduct. When we are ſingularly made inſtruments of good, in the hand of Providence, to any ſoul, there is a natural aptitude to lean a little to the inſtrument, and to prefer it above others, which for a time may be allowable. The Lord, leading the mind by gradual ſteps from the love of other objects to the entire love of himſelf, the one only pure, eternal, Excellency, may permit it for a ſeaſon to lean to an inſtrument; in which caſe a prudent reſerve is neceſſary, as well as a tender regard to the growth of the party thus viſited. I confeſs, it is ſometimes a nice point, to be ready to be of ſervice to ſuch, and preſerve the unity of the ſpirit, free from mixture of natural affection; a diſtinction which I fear has been overlooked by ſome to their great hurt, but which Truth, if adhered to, will make; and will alſo direct to ſteer ſafely betwixt theſe dangerous extremes.

From Woodſhold we went to Falmouth, and ſo to the quarterly meeting at Sandwich, which began the 5th of the Seventh month. It was ſmall and exerciſing, but we were favoured with Divine aſſiſtance, through which the teſtimony of Truth was ſet over the heads of the gainſayers.

From hence we went to Yarmouth, where we had a good meeting with a few Friends, and a pretty many of the neighbours, and returned back to Sandwich.

The 10th, we had a meeting at Pembroke, which was attended by many people of other ſocieties, who were much diſpleaſed becauſe we were ſilent. In the evening we had a meeting with a few friends; the principal ſervice whereof was to ſtrengthen their hands in the diſcipline.

The 11th, we went to Boſton, and had a meeting there with Friends and ſome others the ſame evening, which ended comfortably.

The 12th, our friend of Philadelphia left us to return home, and we purſued our journey towards the quarterly meeting, to be held at Hampton the 13th and 14th, and with hard travelling we reached it in due time. But ſuch a ſcene of confuſion and diſtraction I never was in before; occaſioned by a company of Ranters, who had gone out from Friends in a ſpirit of ſeparation; but who, in reality, were never properly of us, having been injudiciouſly taken into memberſhip, before Friends knew on what foundation they were; and being high-minded, heady, and exceedingly wild in their imaginations (which they accounted revelations), would not ſubmit to the ſenſe of Friends in the diſcipline, and were therefore diſowned. Theſe frequently made it their practice to diſturb the meetings of Friends, with their wild diſorderly appearances; and many of them came to this quarterly meeting, againſt whom we had to teſtify, being in the courſe of the meetings exceedingly burdened with their ſpirits and publick appearances under pretence of preaching; but we were obliged to ſuffer under their ſpirits, until our concluding meeting, whereto many of them came. After a time of ſilence therein, my companion ſtood up, and one of their company began haranguing the people in the grave-yard, and others were diſturbing Friends in the meeting houſe; wherein I think a form broke down, whereby the diſturbance became ſo great, that ſhe ſat down in diſcouragement, and the meeting continued in diſorder. In a ſhort time I ſtood up with a view to inform the people preſent who did not profeſs with us (who were numerous), of the reaſon of our conduct towards theſe Ranters. I had ſaid but little before I was ſenſible of the ſpring of Divine life being opened; from whence I was enabled to miniſter, though I had no view of what was given me to ſpeak before I ſtood up; but I was immediately and mercifully clothed with ſuch a degree of authority, that it might indeed be ſaid, the Truth was over all, and the meeting ended in awful ſolemnity: for which my ſoul was humbly thankful to the Lord, who gave us victory over theſe deluded ſpirits.

The 16th, we went to Dover, and had two meetings with Friends in that quarter, in both of which I was ſhut up. We attended the funeral of a friend whoſe relations were Preſbyterians, and had a ſeaſonable opportunity among the people, wherein the teſtimony of Truth was exalted.

The 20th, we had a meeting with Friends at Thomas Henſon's; and thence went to Berwick and Winter Harbour, whence we croſſed part of Caſco Bay in a canoe, to viſit a few friends on ſome iſlands therein. Several friends from Dover, &c. accompanied us in this journey; wherein had human fears prevailed, we might have apprehended ourſelves in danger from the Indians, who ſometimes annoy the inhabitants, killing ſome, and carrying others captive to Canada: but our ſpirits were mercifully preſerved above fear, and comforted with the hope of Truth's proſperity among the few friends in that quarter; ſeveral of whom were under its humbling viſitation, and therefore were near to our ſpirits; from whom we departed in goſpel love, and returned to Dover the 30th.

The 1ſt of the Eighth month, we went to New Town, had a meeting at Nathan Hoeg's, wherein much inſtructive doctrine flowed to ſeveral ſtates, particularly to that of the before mentioned Ranters; and we found that there were preſent two young women who ſometimes went among them, with whom, after meeting, we had ſome diſcourſe. They behaved civilly to us, and told us they had heard many lies of us; and one of them was conſiderably tendered in ſpirit, but the other was high in imagination.

From hence we proceeded to Almſbury and Newbury, where a concern reſted upon my dear companion to go back, and pay a viſit in the love of the goſpel to theſe Ranters, for whom ſhe had for ſome time been exerciſed, and particularly for their leader James Bean; a man of great cunning and a ſtrong will, who had heretofore been ſuffered to miniſter amongſt Friends. She laid this concern before Friends, wherewith they concurring, we went on the 5th to Brintwood, the place where they held their meeting. Many friends accompanied us, who I believe were earneſtly deſirous that we might be rightly conducted among theſe dark, crafty ſpirits; who readily gave us an opportunity with them at their own meeting-houſe. In the forepart of the meeting ſeveral of them ſpoke ſomething, but at length my companion got liberty, and was favoured with the openings and power of Truth, directly pointed to the confuſed deluded ſtate wherein they were. I was alſo exerciſed in the like manner, and we had good tidings for ſome of them, viz. that there was a way open for them to return, if they would ſuffer their wills and works to be tried, judged, and condemned; which I believe a few of them received well; for there appeared to be ſome ſimple-hearted deluded ſouls among them; who, being taken with the more than ordinary ſhew of righteouſneſs, and high pretenſions to enjoyments, viſions, and revelations; and not having their ſpiritual faculties ſufficiently ſtrong to diſcern betwixt the reality and the image of Truth; had been inadvertently catched by them. We had reaſon to hope that our labours and ſufferings among theſe ranting ſpirits had its ſervice; for after we left them, we heard that from that time they had been leſs troubleſome to Friends in their meetings.

The 7th, we had meetings at Lynn and Salem. The firſt was large, and greatly mixed with people of other ſocieties, wherein the Lord was pleaſed to favour me in the exerciſe of my gift: the laſt was of Friends ſelect, and the ſervice principally fell upon my companion, whoſe concern chiefly pointed to Friends.

The 8th, we went to Boſton, and attended the monthly meeting there the ſame day, to which came many people of other ſocieties, but we were wholly ſilent. We ſtaid over the Firſt-day meetings, which were attended by abundance of people not profeſſing with us; but neither of us had much to impart to them, which was matter of wonder both to them and to ſome who profeſſed with us; there being now a willingneſs in the people of this city, to hear the teſtimony of Truth. We were engaged to pay a religious viſit to moſt of the families of Friends there, wherein we were favoured with the ſatisfactory evidence of being in the way of our duty; and from which we hoped ſome good would enſue, for it ſeemed to have conſiderable effect upon ſome, eſpecially of the youth.

The 14th, we went to Mendon, and after having viſited a few little meetings to the north-weſt; we paſſed, through ſeveral, to Rhode Iſland. We were painfully exerciſed in this quarter, being engaged for the eſtabliſhing of a right diſcipline; and in the diſcouragement of a miniſtry in words, which was not accompanied with the power of Truth; wherewith ſome of the people were amuſed, but not profitably fed, and the truly ſenſible were diſtreſſed. In divers places we were moſtly or wholly ſilent, in large mixed meetings, perhaps for examples to theſe forward ſpirits. It raiſed the diſpleaſure of ſome againſt us; but we were mercifully preſerved patient and reſigned, and I hope ready to do good for evil.

The 27th, we came to Newport on Rhode Iſland, and were affectionately received by our friends Thomas and Mary Richardſon and their children, with whom we lodged both now and when there before.

The 28th, we were at their week-day meeting, which was pretty much mixed with people of other ſocieties; but our concern at this time being principally to Friends, their coming rendered it difficult for us to diſcharge our duties. We therefore requeſted a meeting of Friends ſelect, which we obtained, and I believe it ended to the general ſatisfaction of the ſenſible minds preſent; the Lord's power being exalted therein, under the tendering effects whereof ſome of the youth were bowed.

From Newport we went through ſeveral meetings on the iſland of Poniganſet to Greenwich, wherein I had but little ſhare in the miniſtry; but my companion had good ſervice in this quarter. Here we parted from many Friends who had been made near to us in the Truth; and on the 8th of the Ninth month, ſet our faces towards New York government; but my companion, not finding her ſpirit releaſed from Greenwich, we returned back the next morning, and had a meeting with Friends there the ſame day; and the 10th, had one at Machanticut. We had ſome painful labour in both theſe meetings, the cauſe of which I forbear to mention, but in the end had to point out one of the parties that had occaſioned it.

The 11th, we proceeded on our journey through Connecticut Province, to Oblong in New York government, about 150 miles, having no meetings by the way but at New Millford, where there is a few under the profeſſion of Truth.

From thence we went to Saliſbury, and the Nine Partners; where my companion was confined by indiſpoſition, and I was obliged to attend the meetings in this quarter alone; wherein I was favoured with a degree of Divine help.

The 23d, we returned to Oblong, and were at the meetings there on the Firſt-day, which were large, and I hope ſerviceable.

From hence we had thoughts of paſſing through the other meetings of Friends on the main land in this quarter, and ſo of proceeding to Long Iſland; but ſoon after we left Oblong, a cloud came over our ſpirits; and being diveſted of a capacity for ſervice, we concluded to go directly to Long Iſland, and there to reſt until the cauſe or end of this diſpenſation ſhould be manifeſted to us; which proved to be a ſeparation from each other. I had long ſeen it would be ſo, and ſome of our friends before we left Europe expected, and rather preſſed it; fearing that our ſervice would be leſs to the church by our keeping together, than if we ſeparated. We had now travelled together as companions in the moſt difficult parts of the country; had ſhared ſo many trials, ſufferings, and dangers, and had been favoured with great unity of ſpirit therein, that it appeared hard for us to part; but when we were convinced of the propriety of it, we ſubmitted, in hope that it might tend to the benefit of that glorious cauſe, for which we left our native land. After patiently waiting ſome days, my companion's way opened to Philadelphia; but I not being quite clear that the time for my leaving this quarter was fully come, concluded to ſtay behind her; which ſhe, as well as myſelf, being moſt eaſy with, we imparted our exerciſe to Friends at their monthly meeting, and had their approbation in our ſeparation.

The 3d of the Tenth month, we took an affectionate leave of each other at the houſe of our friend John Bowne of Fluſhing; and ſhe, accompanied by ſome men friends, proceeded towards Philadelphia. My view was to turn back to the few meetings we had not viſited on the main land, and J. Bowne's wife being willing to accompany me, we, with two men friends, left her houſe the ſame afternoon. We had a pretty broad ferry to croſs, and the tide not ſerving until evening, it was near night when we got over. We did not go in the ſame boat with the horſes, but one of the men friends ſtaid with them, and we could not expect them over for a conſiderable time. The ferry houſe ſeemed a poor place to lodge at, and it appeared proper we ſhould that night get to the houſe of a friend, who was member of the meeting I wiſhed to attend next day, that notice might be given of it; and if we ſtaid for our horſes the family might probably be gone to bed. We therefore inquired for horſes to proceed forward, but could procure only one, upon which I determined to go with a man to ride before me, who was to bring the horſe back. My friends who were with me knew the people of the ferry, ſo I ſet out without fear, although I had no pillion. We had but about two or three miles to ride, and it was a fine, clear, moonlight night, and moſt of the way on an even ſand. I ſoon found the horſe was a ſtumbler (indeed the poor beaſt had no ſhoes on, a common caſe on Long Iſland, and other even, ſandy parts of the country), and when we had gone perhaps half way, down he came, and threw us both; but we were thrown far enough from the horſe to receive no hurt from him. The horſe rolled upon his back, and when he aroſe I found the ſaddle had no girth to it, and I knew before that it had no crupper, ſo it was unlikely that its rider ſhould have any command of him when he fell. We had a kind of a waſh-way to paſs before we got to the friend's houſe, ſo I could not well walk it; therefore I mounted again at ſome high rails, and we reached the houſe before the family was in bed; and my friends came ſafe the ſame night. I viſited the meetings on the Main, which I had a view of, and returned to Fluſhing the 5th.

I wiſhed to viſit the meetings on Long Iſland, that I might be excuſed from returning back thereto; but not having eaſe of mind in the proſpect, I concluded to follow my companion to Philadelphia; in which I believe I was right, as it tended to convince Friends in general that our ſeparation was not occaſioned by any difference betwixt us, or other improper cauſe or motive: ſo I proceeded accordingly, accompanied by one man friend.

On the 7th, we ſtopped to refreſh ourſelves at New York, and my affectionate friend Margaret Bowne at whoſe houſe we had lodged before, concluded to take me in her chaiſe to Philadelphia: a ſeaſonable relief from riding on horſeback. We croſſed the Sound that afternoon, and reached Philadelphia the 10th, a journey of about 100 miles from New York. My companion had gone a little round, in her way from Long Iſland to viſit a general meeting, and came to Philadelphia the ſame day; and after having converſed with each other, we were mutually ſatisfied with meeting, although we could not ſee that we ſhould unite again in the ſervice through the provinces of Pennſylvania and the Jerſeys.

We ſtaid in Philadelphia more than a week, and our friends were unanimous that it was beſt for us to ſeparate. My way opened to go to the yearly meeting to be held at Shrewſbury. In the way thereto, I fell in with ſeveral week-day meetings, and with one appointed by Joſhua Dixon, a friend on a religious viſit from England. I had alſo ſome ſervice in the families of Friends, for which I had my reward. The meeting at Shrewſbury began the 28th, and was attended by divers valuable miniſters; and indeed I thought there was need of weight to counteract the light frothy ſpirit which appeared in the people, both in ſ •• e of thoſe who made profeſſion of Truth, as well as many of other ſocieties; whoſe motive in attending that meeting being more to pleaſe the natural mind, by getting into the company and converſation of each other, than for the honour of Truth, they added no weight to it. However, the Lord was pleaſed ſo to favour, that the teſtimony of Truth was ſeveral times ſet over them in good authority. I was particularly engaged for the welfare of my fellow members in ſociety, and deſired an opportunity with the heads of families; which was procured, and I had good ſatisfaction in it.

The 30th, I left Shrewſbury, and the 1ſt of the Eleventh month, returned to Philadelphia, a journey of near 90 miles. I met my companion here well and alſo my dear friends John Churchman, who was returned from his viſit to Friends in England, and Samuel Forthergill, who was entering upon one to Friends in America. We were mutually refreſhed in beholding the faces one of another, our union in the Truth being ſtrong, which was now renewed in the freſh ſpringing up of its life. We all attended the quarterly meeting at Philadelphia, which was large, and eminently crowned with the Divine preſence; wherein my companion and ſelf rejoiced, though we had but little ſhare in the public ſervice.

As we found it right to part, for the goſpel's ſake, on the 8th, we took leave of each other in a degree of cheerfulneſs, and in the unity of the ſpirits; committing each other to the Divine protection, under a feeling ſenſe of his humbling goodneſs. My views pointed to Weſt Jerſey, ſo I croſſed the River Delaware at Philadelphia, being accompanied by Sarah Barney, a religious young woman of the Iſland of Nantucket, who had come to Philadelphia to ſpend ſome time among Friends there, and found freedom to go with me for a while, as I did to except of her company. She was not in the miniſtry.

I paſſed through a train of meetings to the quarterly meeting at Salem, and my concern principally bending to the members of our own ſociety in that quarter, I was pleaſed that the meetings, were not mixed with others; and was ſometimes favoured with a degree of enlargement in the heavenly gift, though at others poor and low.

The quarterly meeting at Salem began the 16th and ended the 19th, wherein I had cloſe hard exerciſe in ſpirit, as well as in miniſterial ſervice, in which I was not much enlarged.

The 20th, I had a meeting at Greenwich, where there is a promiſing proſpect among the youth, on ſeveral of whom the ſolidity of Truth is deeply impreſſed. My ſpirit was cloſely united to them, but could miniſter but little. It appeared to me, that the Almighty would more perfect his work in them, by the immediate operation of his own Spirit, than by the help of inſtruments.

The 21ſt, we rode between 50 and 60 miles to Cape May, viſited the few Friends there and ſo proceeded to Great Egg Harbour, viſited the ſeveral meetings there, and the 28th, went to Little Egg Harbour. We went a conſiderable way betwixt theſe two harbours in a canoe juſt wide enough for one perſon to ſit in: there was ice in the bottom of it, which being broken, ſome ſtraw was laid for me to ſit on.

Hence we proceeded, through Upper Springfield, to New York. In our way we lodged at Amboy, at the houſe of a widow, who was under the profeſſion of Truth. Here we met with a young woman, to whoſe perſon and character I was an entire ſtranger, on whoſe account I became concerned, ſuſpecting that all was not right with her: and in the morning after breakfaſt, I ſpoke to her in a very cloſe manner, and gave her ſuch advice, as in the openings of Truth aroſe in my heart. I thought I could partly have pointed out her crime, had not delicacy and fear kept me back. She wept much, and haſtily retired in great confuſion and agitation of mind; and I afterwards heard that ſhe had had a child by her ſiſter's huſband, and was come here to be ſheltered from publick notice; but the Lord followed her, and I had reaſon to hope that the extendings of his grace were towards her, although ſhe had been ſo great an offender. After ſome more cloſe and very particular ſervice with the woman of the houſe, I left it in peace and thankfulneſs to the Almighty, who had enabled me to diſcharge this hard piece of ſervice; for ſo indeed it was, to ſpeak thus to individuals and ſtrangers: but in the day of his power his people are made willing to execute his commands.

I went to Raway and Rywoods meetings, and got to New York the 5th of the Twelfth month; and after a meeting there went on Long Iſland, where I viſited all the ſettled meetings of Friends, ſave one, which I had been at before. My concern here at this time principally bended towards the members of our own ſociety; and ſometimes when meetings were much mixed with others, I had nothing to ſay to them; which gave offence, not only to them, but to ſome carnal profeſſors of Truth; but I endeavoured to reſt ſatisfied in the Divine will, well knowing, Infinite Wiſdom knew beſt what to adminiſter for their good. At Fluſhing, the people not profeſſing with us, had a great curioſity to hear me preach. Many of them had been with me at two meetings when I was before on the Iſland at both of which I was ſilent, and now came again, and were a third time diſappointed, I believe in wiſdom; for they being ſtill diſſatisfied, a number of young people came in the evening to my lodgings, I ſuppoſe with an intent to know whether I had any private meeting in the family, with whom I ſat down in retirement; and others of the neighbourhood hearing of it (by means of ſome of the family whom they had deſired to give them intelligence if there were ſuch an opportunity), came in, and I had a remarkable teſtimony amongſt them, directed to their ſtates; the force of which ſome of them could not evade, as the opportunity was ſo ſelect. I found afterwards that divers of them were Deiſts, againſt whoſe principles I had to ſtrike with much ſtrength and clearneſs. Friends preſent were comforted in the feeling of Divine goodneſs; for the power of Truth was exalted, bleſſed for ever be the name of the Lord; who in his own time, will honour ſuch as honour him by manifeſting that they are nothing, nor can do any thing, but through his Divine aſſiſtance.

The 18th of the Twelfth month, we left Long Iſland, in a thankful ſenſe of the providential care of our heavenly Father, in preſerving and ſuſtaining us through the many dangers and difficulties attendant on this journey in the winter ſeaſon; when the roads in many places were bad, and we had many broad, wild ferries to croſs, which are ſometimes rendered very dangerous through the froſt and ſtrong gales of wind; but the weather was always favourable when we croſſed them.

The 19th, I attended a monthly meeting at Woodbridge, which was ſmall and exerciſing, wherein I had little ſervice, except to ſtrengthen the hands of Friends in the diſcipline, the line whereof ſhould have been farther ſtretched over ſome tranſgreſſors. We reſted a day or two at Raway, at the houſe of our kind friends Joſ. and Sarah Shotwell, and the 22d, went to Plainfield, and thence, through ſeveral ſmall meetings, to a number of meetings about Burlington, which were moſtly large, and ſome of them ſatisfactory, being attended by the power of Truth; but the doctrine was moſtly cloſe, for which there was ſorrowfully a cauſe. The 13th of the Firſt month, 1755, we croſſed the River Delaware, and were at a meeting at Briſtol, in Bucks County, Pennſylvania; which was not large, but attended with a degree of the Divine preſence. The 15th, we were at the Falls meeting, in which I was ſilent, and which was a comfortable ſeaſon to me. The 16th, I parted from my companion Sarah Barney, who having received a hurt upon her arm by a fall from her horſe, was prevented from accompanying me further. She was a tender affectionate companion, and very exemplary in her converſation; which together with that ſincere love to Truth which dwelt in her, united her to my ſpirit.

Grace Fiſher, a friend in the miniſtry from Philadelphia, accompanied me through the reſt of the meetings in Bucks County, which were five. In ſome ſeaſons of ſilence the people appeared to be too generally in a dull, ſluggiſh ſtate. In ſome of theſe meetings the Almighty pleaſed to open the ſpring of the miniſtry, which I believe flowed in a manner not quite agreeable to ſome, who wanted ſmooth things, although they were not their portion: and may I never miniſter ſo deceitfully, as to cry Peace, when his holy ſpirit is grieved. There is in this country a weighty, living number of friends, unto whom my ſpirit was cloſely united in the covenant of life, but there are many dwellers at eaſe. Some of the youth appear promiſing, and the Divine viſitation was largely extended to many. Oh! that they may embrace and dwell under it, ſo as to become partakers of the glorious privileges of the goſpel diſpenſation.

The 21ſt, I again croſſed the River Delaware, accompanied by Grace Croſdale, a Friend of Bucks County, who had a gift in the miniſtry, and went to Bethlehem, and thence to viſit a few families about twenty miles back in the woods; with ſome of whom we had a meeting which was attended by ſeveral of their neighbours; to whom I was drawn to miniſter freely in the love of the goſpel, and believe it had its effect amongſt them.

The 23d, we again croſſed the River Delaware, which was pretty full of ice, and our men friends were a little doubtful that if they went over with us they could not return the next day, ſhould the froſt continue; as the ice might be united, though not ſtrong enough to bear them; and I being unwilling they ſhould be detained, concluded to go with two men (ſtrangers to me, but one of them known to friends in general) who were waiting for a paſſage over the river; they accompanied us to a friend's houſe about five miles on the other ſide where the next day we had a ſmall meeting with a few Dutch people, and then proceeded to the upper part of Philadelphia County and Berks County, in which part the meetings are moſtly ſmall. I had ſome painful labour of ſpirit in this quarter, and alſo a comfortable proſpect; for the Lord has amongſt Friends here, a remnant of the ancient ſtock, who have, in a good degree, kept their habitations in the Truth; and a few of the youth are brought under its humbling baptiſm; and I thought the extendings of his Divine viſitation were to the careleſs.

The 31ſt, we croſſed the River Schuylkill in a canoe, and our horſes were ſwum over. We attended a meeting at Nantmill in Cheſter County, the 1ſt of the Second month; and paſſed through ſeveral meetings to the quarterly meeting for Cheſter County, held at Concord.

About this time I was under a very heavy exerciſe of ſpirit, being environed with darkneſs and made to ſtand as in the ſtate of ſuch as deſpiſe religion, and call in queſtion Divine juſtice and mercy. Under this painful baptiſm I continued many days, whereby all the bleſſings of kind Providence were imbittered, and my life ſeemed a burthen; yet ſometimes a glimpſe of light would dart through the cloud, and I conceived a hope of deliverance thereby, and that this diſpenſation was allotted renewedly to fit me to miniſter to ſome in this ſtate, as well as to ſympathize with the afflicted and tempted. It appeared to me remarkable that although I was thus exerciſed when out of meetings, both by day and by night, and perhaps for a conſiderable part of the time I was in them; yet was I not entirely diſabled for ſervice; the cloud would break as in an inſtant, and I had juſt light and ſtrength afforded to ſee and diſcharge my duty; and after a while it would cloſe up again as before. My ſoul hath abundant cauſe to bleſs the name of my God in this and ſuch like painful ſeaſons, which I deſire to retain in laſting remembrance; for had it not been for the ſupport of his powerful merciful hand, I had been as one who goes down into the pit; being as it were entered, in thought, into the dark avenues which lead to deſtruction; yet faintly (as I thought) adhearing to that faith which was once delivered to the ſaints. Theſe are the ſeaſons of the trial of our faith, which is more precious than that of gold which periſheth.

The quarterly meeting at Concord began the 7th of the Second month, where I met my dear companion Mary Peiſly. Our meeting was attended with Divine conſolation, under a ſenſe of the protection of Providence having been over us in our abſence from each other; and our union in the Truth was renewed and ſtrengthened. The quarterly meeting was large, and Divinely favoured and the teſtimony of Truth therein exalted in ſtrength and clearneſs.

The minds of ſome members of our ſociety were at this time much unſettled through government affairs. A war with the French ſeemed likely to break out; and ſome were for deviating from our Chriſtian teſtimony, which is againſt defenſive, as well as offenſive war; conſiſtently with that pure charity which beareth all things, and ſeeketh not its own by means contrary to the tendency of the peaceable goſpel diſpenſation. Againſt this ſpirit we had to teſtify, I hope to good purpoſe, for the power of Truth was over the meetings in an eminent degree, whereby the doctrine preached was enforced: glory be to the Lord for ever! He bringeth down and raiſeth up, for the honour of his own name, and the eſtabliſhment of his ſervants in righteouſneſs and truth. The ſcripture given me to comment upon in this meeting was Joel 2d, verſe the 15th, and ſome following, whereon I was opened to my own humbling admiration and that of ſome of my friends. Here we met our friends John Churchman, Joſhua Dixon, and many more, with whom our ſpirits were comforted in the Divine preſence.

The 12th, we came to Philadelphia, where we ſpent a few days, and were principally engaged in viſiting ſome friends' families and the girls' ſchool for Friends' children. We alſo viſited the priſon, wherein were confined ſeveral who had made ſome profeſſion of Truth, viz. one for debt, and three boys for theft, who, with the fourth, their accomplice, were much broken in ſpirit. This was to me one of the moſt affecting ſervices I had ever been engaged in, from the conſideration of their deplorable circumſtances; for although their lives might be ſpared, a laſting ſtain might remain upon their reputation; but we were comforted in the hope of their being brought to repentance, as Divine mercy was extended unto them. Oh! how careful ought young people to be of the company they keep; for if they are familiar with the children of darkneſs, they too often, by almoſt imperceptible degrees, contract their vicious inclinations, and are led into acts of wickedneſs, from which they would once, perhaps, have ſhrunk back with horror.

The 18th, we went in company to Frankfort, where we had a good meeting, and parted in the comfortable ſenſe of the Divine preſence; my companion going to ſome meetings in Bucks County, and myſelf to Abington, Horſham, and Plymouth, accompanied by Sarah Morris of Philadelphia, and Anna Logan.

The 22d, I again met my companion at Burlington, where we attended the quarterly meeting for the upper part of Weſt Jerſey; which was a ſolemn ſeaſon, and the ſpring of the miniſtry was opened to edification and comfort.

The 26th and 27th, we attended the quarterly meeting in Bucks county, Pennſylvania; which was large and ſatisfactory, Divine help being extended to the encouragement of us and of the faithful preſent. Here my companion and I again ſeparated in a ſenſe of our heavenly Father's love; and myſelf with Sarah Morris proceeded to viſit ſome meetings in Bucks and Philadelphia Counties, and came to Philadelphia the 8th of the Third month. I ſtaid in and about the city till the 24th, viſiting ſome of the families of friends, as my ſtrength which was but low, would permit; but I had ſolid peace in ſpending a few days in this ſervice.

On the 24th, I went to Newtown in Weſt Jerſey, ſo to Eveſham and Haddonfield to the quarterly meeting for that province; wherein I was low both in body and mind, and had 〈◊〉 much publick ſervice.

The 28th, the half-year's meeting at Philadelphia began. Here I again met my dear companion Mary Peiſley. The meeting was large and ſolemn, there was much ſilence in it, which was perhaps not leſs profitable to many, though leſs pleaſing, than preaching.

The 3d of the Fourth month we again ſeparated, and I went towards the eaſtern ſhore of Maryland, having for a companion Hannah Foſter of Weſt Jerſey, alſo Joſhua Fiſher of Philadelphia, who went to aſſiſt us, it being a quarter wherein it might have been difficult always to procure guides. We were obliged to travel hard, and I having alſo hard ſervice amongſt a few unfaithful profeſſors of Truth who were ſcattered about in this quarter, and my health being poor, it was painful for me to purſue the journey; but Divine goodneſs ſecretly ſuſtained my ſoul, and aſſiſted to diſcharge my duty according to knowledge; and in the end afforded a comfortable hope that my labour was not entirely fruitleſs. We attended a half-year's meeting at Cheſter in Maryland, and another at Duck Creek: at the laſt we met John Churchman. We had labourious travail of ſpirit, the life of Truth being low in that quarter, but through Infinite goodneſs, the teſtimony of it was raiſed in a good degree of authority. We had comfortable hope reſpecting ſome young people hereaway, and parted from the living amongſt them under a ſenſe of Divine favour. We proceeded through ſeveral ſmall meetings of Friends (wherein I had painful labour of ſpirit, yet I hope ſome ſolid ſervice) to Lewiſton. There is no meeting of Friends eſtabliſhed here, but we had a large one in the court-houſe, wherein the power and teſtimony of Truth was raiſed in dominion to the praiſe of the great Name.

The 29th, we returned to Duck Creek, myſelf in a very low ſtate both of body and mind; but as I endeavoured to keep my mind to the Lord, he was pleaſed as in an inſtant to diſpel the thick cloud of darkneſs which for ſome days had encompaſſed me; and ſo to lift up the light of his countenance upon me, that I rejoiced exceedingly in the hope of his ſalvation.

The 4th of the Fifth month my companion Hannah Foſter left me at Eaſt Nottingham, and my valuable friend Margaret Churchman (wife of John Churchman) accompanied me to ſome meetings in Lancaſter and York Counties; and ſo to the yearly meeting held at Weſt River, for the weſtern ſhore of Maryland, at which I had been with my companion M. Peiſley, in 1754, but had then but little public ſervice amongſt the people. I met with ſome oppoſition in my endeavours for the revival of diſcipline, from apoſtate and libertine ſpirits; but the Lord ſupported me above it.

The yearly meeting was large, and Divinely favoured. Several friends came over the bay to it, and I was favoured to ſee a little fruit of my painful labour when on the other ſide, by the change which was apparently wrought in a young perſon, who was then of a light converſation. William Brown, from Philadelphia, attended this meeting, and had good ſervice therein. Love ſeemed to ſpread amongſt Friends at this time, and we left them in peace, and returned the 26th to Eaſt Nottingham; where I met Sarah Morris, from Philadelphia, who propoſed to accompany me through Cheſter and Lancaſter Counties, &c. She was a truly exemplary woman, and ſometimes highly favoured in the miniſtry.

We left Nottingham the 29th, and paſſed through the reſt of the meetings in Lancaſter County, wherein I had much cloſe ſervice. We viſited Cheſter County pretty thoroughly, wherein is a very large body of profeſſors of Truth, but many of them are deficient in regard to its ſanctifying operation upon the ſpirit. Many noble pillars have been removed from amongſt them, and ſome of the elders who then remained had unhappily loſt their ſtations in the Truth, and yet nominally retained their offices in the church. Theſe were ſtumbling blocks to the youth, who were too apt to look at the example of ſuch, and to plead their inconſiſtent practices as an excuſe for their own taking liberties in other reſpects. Againſt theſe, and ſuch like deceitful watchers and pretended labourers, who had not kept the vineyard of their own hearts, and yet dared to ſtretch forth their hands to the Lord's ſervice, I had ſharply to teſtify: and I ſometimes was made an example of ſilence in the ſolemn aſſemblies. There was alſo in this county a ſolid living number of friends, who were preachers of righteouſneſs in their reſpective ſtations, both by example and precept; with whoſe unity the Lord was pleaſed to favour me, and who I truſt will ever be near to my life in that holy bond, which neither time nor death can diſſolve.

After viſiting Cheſter County, I became much indiſpoſed, and retired to the houſe of my kind friend John Morris, in Philadelphia County; where (as at ſeveral time before had been the caſe) I was affectionately received, and the neceſſary endeavours were uſed for my recovery; which the Lord was pleaſed ſo to bleſs, that I was enabled in about two weeks, to purſue my journey, though in conſiderable weakneſs of body. In this ſeaſon of confinement and releaſe from public labour, the good phyſician ſo favoured, that although my body ſuſtained conſiderable pain and weakneſs, my mind rather gathered ſtrength, and was greatly encouraged in the hope of future preſervation. My dear companion M. Peiſley came to me from Philadelphia, who having viſited almoſt all the meetings of Friends on the continent of America, entertained hope of our ſoon embarking for our native lands; but we had much more both to do and to ſuffer, before that hour came. We met in wonted affection, and therein again parted the 2d of the Seventh month; when I proceeded to viſit ſome meetings in Philadelphia and Berks County, where there ſeemed a promiſing proſpect amongſt the youth, ſome of whom appeared to be advancing in rectitude of ſpirit and conduct at which my ſoul rejoiced; it being part of the fruits of that labour of love, the Lord of the harveſt had cauſed us to beſtow upon them. I had conſiderable freedom in the exerciſe of my gift in this renewed viſit to theſe places, and again met my companion the 16th, at Stenton near Philadelphia; from which place we went in company to Philadelphia the 17th, and thence to the quarterly meeting at Concord, in Cheſter County; after which I proceeded to ſome other meetings in that county, and returned to my companion at Philadelphia the 19th of the Eighth month.

From this time we were moſtly together while in the country, which was much longer than was agreeable to our natural inclinations; for we were detained the winter; being engaged in viſiting the families of Friends in Philadelphia, in conjunction with the Friends who were under appointment for that ſervice; in which important work, we were frequently favoured by the Wiſe Head of the church, who directs, that even Jeruſalem ſhall be ſearched with lighted candles; and for that purpoſe illuminates the ſpirits of his ſervants, and furniſhes with doctrine ſuited to the ſtates of thoſe viſited. We took divers turns in the country, to viſit quarterly, monthly, and particular meetings, and had good ſervice for the Lord therein; but in the meetings in Philadelphia were frequently bound in ſpirit, being made to preach ſilence by example; which I believe had its uſe, by inſtructing the people not to depend on inſtrumental miniſtry.

Towards the latter end of the winter, my dear companion became very much indiſpoſed, and continued ſo for ſeveral months; in which time ſhe was frequently prevented from attending meetings, and ſometimes confined to her room. I gave her the ſtricteſt attendance I was capable, inſomuch that with other exerciſes attending, my health was greatly affected, and my ſpirits ſunk to a degree of dejection I had never before known: nevertheleſs I was ſo favoured as to be alive, and to be at times ſtrong, in my miniſterial ſervice, to the very concluſion of our ſtay in the country.

And now, as it was our lots in the wiſe direction of Providence, to be in the providence of Pennſylvania, at a time when the minds of Friends were more than commonly exerciſed, on account of publick or political affairs; by reaſon of the French making incroachments on ſome of the Britiſh colonies; and ſome of the Indian tribes having committed great outrages on their frontiers, and murdered many of the back inhabitants; the conduct of us who were concerned to labour for the ſupport of our peaceable Chriſtian teſtimony, was harſhly cenſured by the unthinking multitude; and by ſuch of our own ſociety as were one with them in ſpirit; who inſinuated that we intruded into matters foreign to our proper buſineſs, and were in part the cauſe of the continuation of the calamities which attended the provinces, through our teſtifying againſt the ſpirit of war, and adviſing Friends to ſupport our Chriſtian teſtimony faithfully, I think it not improper briefly to give ſome account of the ſhare I had in concerns of this nature.

On my coming to Philadelphia in the Third month, 1755, I underſtood the aſſembly was about to ſit; and the major part of its members being then under the profeſſion of Truth, on conſidering how difficult it would be for ſuch, to maintain our Chriſtian teſtimony, and to act conſiſtently with what the people at large thought was for the good of the province; I was induced to propoſe, a few weighty friends having a religious opportunity with ſuch members of the aſſembly, as made profeſſion with us; wherein, perhaps, Truth might open counſels ſuitable to the occaſion, and our ſympathy with ſuch as were concerned to maintain its teſtimony might be manifeſted.

This meeting with the concurrence of Friends, ſuch an opportunity was obtained, and I had the privilege of being at it; and therein was concerned to teſtify againſt that ſpirit, which from human conſiderations was for war, and to ſtrengthen the minds of Friends againſt leaning thereto. Divers times during thoſe troubles, I was concerned publickly to aſſert the conſiſtency of our peaceable principle with the goſpel diſpenſation; and once, if not oftener, to point out the conſequence of Friends deviating therefrom, which was remarkably fulfilled before I left the country. This was no more than conſiſtent with my office as a miniſter, and my commiſſion to that country, which was to preach Truth and Righteouſneſs, and ſtrengthen the hands of my brethren, againſt their oppoſers. Both myſelf and companion were ſo clear of improperly intermeddling with the affairs of government, that we ſometimes checked the torrent of converſation on that ſubject, either by ſilent or verbal reproof; and but ſeldom ſo much as read their newſpapers.

During the time of the people's being in ſo great confuſion and diſtreſs, on account of the Indian war, my mind was much exerciſed; but for ſeveral months, I know not that I could at all, even ſecretly, petition the Almighty for their relief, with any evidence of ſuch a petition ariſing from the ſpring of Divine life. But a little before a ſtop was put to their depredations, my ſpirit was almoſt continually clothed with interceſſion, that the Lord might be pleaſed to ſtay the ſword; and in two publick meetings I was concerned in like manner; and I did not hear that any miſchief was done after that time, by any Indians who had occaſioned that diſturbance, and a ceſſation of arms enſued. I record this as an inſtance of Divine wiſdom inſtructing his ſervants to aſk what it is pleaſing to him to grant; as well as reſtraining them from petitioning for what might be exceeding deſirable to themſelves, before the proper time; and I believe that if miniſters thus kept under the government of that ſpirit of wiſdom, which giveth liberty in the appointed ſeaſon acceptably to approach the throne of divine Grace, it would be more ſelf-evident that they aſked in the name and ſpirit of Jeſus, by their prayer being anſwered.

I think it worth remarking, that the termination of this Indian war, was at laſt effected by the peaceable interpoſition of Friends. An Indian chief, with other Indians in friendſhip with Pennſylvania, being occaſionally in Philadelphia, Friends obtained leave of the governor to have a conference with them; in order to endeavour, through their interference to bring about an accommodation with the Indians now at war with the Britiſh colonies. As we were admitted to attend this conference, I mention it. It evinces the veneration the Indians retained for the memory of William Penn, and for his pacific principles; and their great regard to Friends, whom they ſtiled his children. Several of their women ſat in this conference, who, for fixed ſolidity, appeared to me like Roman matrons. They ſcarcely moved, much leſs ſpoke, during the time it was held; and there was a dignity in the behavour and countenance of one of them, that I cannot forget. I was informed that they admit their moſt reſpected women into their counſels.

And here I remark, that we were in Philadelphia at the time when the firſt ſoldiers that had come there commiſſioned from the Engliſh government, arrived at that city; under the command of General Braddock. I ſaid a cloud of darkneſs came with them. The Lord had ſettled this colony by peaceable means, he had hitherto protected it by his own Almighty arm and it proſpered greatly; but henceforward diſunion and diſturbance prevailed and increaſed in it. Our friend Samuel Fothergill, as well as we, was ſtrongly and affectionately engaged to promote peace, and guard them againſt the event, which he feared would enſue, and which in time followed.

Our ſtay in this country was conſiderably longer than uſual for friends who viſit it from Europe; which was much in the croſs to our natural inclination, but quite in the unity of the ſenſible body of Friends; who ſaw that we were induſtriouſly engaged in the ſervice to which Truth had called us: and whatever ſome looſe ſpirits might ſuggeſt reſpecting our long abſence from home, I have this teſtimony in my conſcience, that ſince I have been engaged in the ſolemn ſervice of the miniſtry, I have ever endeavoured to accompliſh the duties aſſigned me, in as ſhort time as I could; being deſirous that I might not afford occaſion of cenſure to ſuch, as being unacquainted with the humbling weight of this ſervice, may conclude that we travel for pleaſure, or to gratify a roving or curious diſpoſition; as well as that I might ſpend the ſpare time afforded me in the exerciſe of my duty in my own family; and examining the ſtate of my mind; which, after returning from journies of this kind, as well as in going along, ſhould be neceſſarily attended to: and may I never be a ſervant whom Divine wiſdom has made a keeper of his vineyard, but who neglects the culture of his own heart.

My companion's ſervice through the continent principally bended towards Friends, yet was ſhe at times clearly and livingly opened to others; but my concern was moſtly more general; although in the provinces of Pennſylvania and the Jerſeys, wherein our Chriſtian principles were pretty much known, it was more particularly directed to my fellow members in ſociety; who had perhaps been the leſs laboured with by miniſters viſiting them, on account of meetings often being much mixed with other profeſſors. As we ſpent ſo much time in Philadelphia before we left the continent, I had many times been much enlarged in the ſervice appointed me, both to Friends and others; and my companion, whom as a miniſter I preferred to myſelf, had extraordinary ſervice; but as is before hinted, her bodily weakneſs prevented her attending meetings ſome of the latter part of the time we ſpent in it. I may ſay without boaſting, that we were endeared to the weighty body of Friends in that city, as well as in the other parts of the continent, and they were ſo to us. And after having laboured among them more than two years and ſeven months, we took a ſolemn leave in the love of the goſpel, of thoſe preſent in a large quarterly meeting held at Phialadelphia, and left the city on the 5th of the Sixth month, 1756. We were accompanied by many Friends to Cheſter, and were there Divinely favoured together the next day, when we went on board a ſnow bound for Dublin, in company with our dear friend Samuel Fothergill, who was returning from his religious viſit to Friends in America, and Abraham Farrington, who was going on one to Friends in Europe.

There were paſſengers in the ſame veſſel with us, Samuel Emlen, a friend of Philadelphia, and two other young men friends, who were going to England by way of Ireland. We had a very quick but ſtormy paſſage; being on board only thirty-four days, and but twenty-ſix of them out of ſight of land. The ſailors accounted it a very fine paſſage, but we ſuffered very much in it, through the boiſterous winds, and their conſequences. The wind being right aft, the water frequently daſhed over into our cabin, although our Boards put to defend the cabin-windows in ſtorms. dead-lights were moſtly kept up; and it run much under my bed, ſo as to render my lodging very uncomfortable; and, being ſeaſick and otherwiſe indiſpoſed, I was at times ſunk very low, yet the hand of the Lord was near to ſuſtain and comfort me. Notwithſtanding the ſtormy weather, we had ſeveral bleſſed meetings on the voyage, at ſome of which the maſter and ſailors were preſent, unto whom Divine goodneſs was pleaſed to open ſuitable inſtruction. England was now at war with France, and by the account of ſome fiſhermen who came on board us in the Iriſh Channel, we narrowly eſcaped being taken priſoners, as two privateers were ſeen in the Channel, at the very time we ſhould probably have met them, had we not for ſome hours been forced back by a ſtrong contrary wind, the only one we had during the voyage, which appeared ſignally providential for us.

We lodged in Dublin at the houſe of our friend Samuel Judd (who was uncle to my companion), which was formerly the habitation of my very worthy aunt, Sarah Baker, whoſe ſervices in the miniſtry, when reſident in this city, had endeared her to Friends, and her name was precious to thoſe of the preſent day.

The 10th of the Seventh month, we landed at Dublin; and the 25th after taking an affectionate leave of my dear companion and friends, Samuel Fothergill and I took ſhipping for England, and landed at Holyhead in Wales the 27th. Here we bought horſes, and reached Cheſter the 29th, where my friend Samuel Fothergill left me, and whence, accompanied by a young man, a friend, I got home the 31ſt. I was affectionately received by my dear mother, brother and ſiſter, who united in thankful acknowledgments of the Lord's mercy, in reſtoring me to them and my native land. I travelled 155 miles from Holyhead in four days; and had been abſent from my mother's houſe three years, and upwards of one month.

I had noted having travelled upon the continent and iſlands, upwards of 8750 miles (my companion not ſo much). When I compare the fatigues, and the various inconveniences and hardſhips I ſuſtained, with my natural conſtitution, I cannot but admire, that I did not entirely ſink under them: and, on conſidering the dangers attending the journey, which were too numerous for me to particularize in the foregoing account of it, I muſt thankfully acknowledge that the preſerving ſuſtaining hand of my heavenly Father, was ſignally extended for my help and ſalvation. May the humbling ſenſe of his mercies and tender care, by me unmerited, reſt weightily and laſtingly upon my ſpirit.

CHAP. V.

THROUGH my late long and great bodily fatigues, my conſtitution was ſo ſhaken, that a ſeaſon of reſt appeared deſirable, and I rather expected it ſome time before I returned home; but the Lord was pleaſed to order it otherwiſe, I hope to his own honour and my preſervation: for before and quickly after my arrival in England, divers proſpects of duty opened, which appeared likely to engage me for more than a year; and which I was favoured to accompliſh in the following order.

In about two weeks after my return, I attended our quarterly meeting, where I was met by many of my dear friends, who rejoiced to ſee me, and we were meaſurably favoured together in the Divine preſence. Quickly after this I went to the circular yearly meeting for the ſeven weſtern counties, which was held this year at Warwick: it was large, and attended with holy ſolemnity. My dear friend Samuel Fothergill and myſelf had the principal ſhare in the publick ſervice, wherein the Lord favoured us; to whom be the praiſe of all his works now and for ever. This being the uſual time of harveſt, with a proſpect of the plentiful crops of grain being much injured by the heavy rains, Samuel Fothergill in one of his teſtimonies noted it, as a threatened judgment from Him who openeth the flood-gates of heaven or ſtayeth them, to the effecting of his own righteous purpoſes. The rains continuing long, ſo much grain was ſpoiled or damaged, as to occaſion an extreme ſcarcity before the next harveſt.

A few weeks after my return from this meeting, I went into Herefordſhire, to viſit my ſiſter Young and her family. I there found my mind engaged to viſit the meetings of Friends in that county, which I did, except one of them, and returned home by way of Worceſter. Here it appeared right for me to get an opportunity with ſome of the moſt experienced friends of that city; that we might together conſider about ſetting forward the good work of viſiting the families of Friends in this county: of which I had a view before I reached home from Ireland; and when I came there, I found that a general viſit to Friends' families throughout the nation had been recommended by the laſt yearly meeting at London. I therefore found freedom to offer myſelf to aſſiſt in that ſervice, provided the ſame could be accompliſhed ſo as not to interfere with my other proſpects of duty. I alſo recommended to the friends preſent, the eſtabliſhment of a meeting for miniſters and elders in the quarterly meeting for this county. We were eminently favoured in this opportunity, and I left the city in peace, and with a hope of ſome concluſion being come to at our next quarterly meeting.

I ſtaid at home a few weeks, being cloſely engaged in writing. The 22d of the Eleventh month, I went to Worceſter to attend our quarterly meeting, under a weighty exerciſe of ſpirit, having an intention, if Friends ſhould accede to the aforeſaid propoſition of viſiting families, to ſtay and join them therein. Our quarterly meeting was attended, in a good degree, with the Divine preſence, yet the ſervice of it was hard and laborious. Friends were backward in regard to giving in their names to enter upon the viſit to families, concluding themſelves unfit for ſo weighty a work; however ſome were nominated, with whom I united, and concluded to ſtay, and ſee how Providence might favour the undertaking. I had ſome ſtruggle betwixt affection to my natural parent, and the purſuit of the ſervice before me; my dear and aged mother being likely to be left without either of her daughters; my ſiſter Ann being with my ſiſter Young, whoſe children had the ſmall-pox; but I was enabled to purſue my duty, and to commit her to the care of gracious Providence; whoſe regard I found by account from herſelf, ſhe ſignally experienced in my abſence, and encouraged me to continue in the ſervice. I began in great ſelf-diffidence, and went through the families of Friends in the city; but the Lord was with me, and frequently clothed me with ſtrength and wiſdom ſuited to the occaſion. I was conſiderably favoured whilſt in the city in the exerciſe of my gift in the publick meetings of Friends, took leave of them in much love, and left it in peace and thankfulneſs.

The 19th of the Twelfth month, being accompanied by Mary Oldbury, a young woman of Worceſter, who had an acceptable gift in the miniſtry, I went to Perſhore, a town wherein no member of our ſociety reſided; but Friends, having a meeting-houſe there, held a meeting quarterly, which was this day▪ It was large, but moſtly compoſed of people of other ſocieties. I ſat about an hour and an half ſilent, in which ſeaſon my ſpirit was ſweetly compoſed, and reſigned to wait the Lord's time to be put forth in ſervice; wherein I was afterwards much favoured, the teſtimony of Truth being exalted in its own authority. The people were very ſolid and attentive, and I left the town in peace, accompanied by the before-mentioned friend Mary Oldbury, to viſit the families of Friends in Eveſham and Shipſton, which we were favoured to accompliſh to a good degree of ſatisfaction. We ſat with Friends in a few of the meetings in Warwickſhire, and ſo came to my own monthly meeting of Chadwick, having viſited almoſt all the families of Friends in the ſeveral towns which conſtitute it, which were four. I returned home in peace and thankfulneſs for the gracious aſſiſtance vouchſafed by Divine goodneſs, through this laborious ſervice, the 24th of the Firſt month 1757.

I ſtaid about home until the latter end of the Third month, in which interval I was cloſely engaged in attending to ſervices as they opened in that quarter, and preparing for thoſe diſtant ones, which had been impreſſed upon my mind to be executed this ſummer; viz. the attending the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, and from that to the national meeting at Dublin; ſo to the yearly meeting at London, and the ſucceeding quarterly meetings in Eſſex, Suffolk, and Norfolk; which are ſtiled yearly meetings, becauſe at that quarter in the year, there are ſome additional meetings for worſhip held, which are generally large both of Friends and others; and after theſe meetings to viſit the few friends remaining in Holland.

My dear friend Lucy Bradley, being engaged to viſit Friends in Ireland, concluded to accompany me to Dublin. I met her at Stourbridge on the 23d of the Third month, and left her there for a few days with her relations, with an expectation that ſhe would meet me the 27th. I took an affectionate leave of my dear mother and brother, and went, accompanied by my ſiſter Ann to Wedneſbury; a town at which a meeting was held quarterly, which happened to be on that day. Here I expected Lucy Bradley to meet me, and that we ſhould from thence have purſued our journey together, but, being prevented from coming, through indiſpoſition, ſhe informed me that ſhe hoped to be able to meet me in a few days. The meeting was large both of Friends and others, and divinely favoured; and after it I took leave of my ſiſter and divers friends, and went that night to Rugeley in Staffordſhire, and as I had for ſome time had a view of viſiting the families of Friends in that county, who are not numerous, I entered upon that ſervice the 28th, and viſited ſuch as were in that place with ſome ſatisfaction.

The 29th, I went to Stafford, at which place the quarterly meeting for the county was that day held, and I laid before Friends my concern for viſiting the families, and had their concurrence therewith.

Here I met with my friend Samuel Emlen, who came paſſenger with me in the ſame ſhip from America to Ireland; in which nation he had travelled as companion to his aged countryman Abraham Farrington, and had himſelf appeared in the miniſtry in that nation, to the ſatisfaction of Friends. As he was in a weak, low ſtate of mind, I was inclined to take him with me for a few days. Accordingly we left Stafford in company, and, having viſited ſeveral Friends' families in the country, went to Uttoxeter; where we proceeded in the ſame ſervice. My companion Lucy Bradley came to me here, to our mutual comfort. We were favoured together with a bleſſed opportunity in the friend's family where we lodged; and after committing each other to the protection of Providence, we parted from Samuel Emlen and went to Leek; where we alſo viſited the families of Friends, which we were favoured to finiſh the 8th of the Fourth month, I hope to the mutual ſatisfaction of ourſelves, and of the friends of the county who accompanied us in that ſervice.

During my engagement in this weighty work, I was ſurpriſed with the intelligence that my endeared friend and companion Mary Peiſley was removed from mutability. She had been married but three days to Samuel Neale, a Friend of Ireland, and went off with a few hours indiſpoſition; being doubtleſs removed from the proſpect of a ſettlement on earth, to a glorious eternal inheritance; for which ſhe appeared more viſibly prepared than many others of the Lord's ſervants. We had been companions together in many probations, and our union in the Truth was ſtrong, ſo that her death affected me deeply, the more ſo from being attended with ſo ſingular a circumſtance; yet was my ſpirit thankful that ſhe was taken at an hour when her crown ſhone brightly. She had been a great example to me in divers reſpects, and I begged to be aſſiſted to follow her, as ſhe had followed Chriſt.

The 9th we went to Warrington, where a renewed occaſion of thankfulneſs to gracious Providence was adminiſtered, by the probability of the recovery of our dear friend Samuel Fothergill, from an indiſpoſition wherein his life had been deſpaired of. This had much affected my mind, from the conſideration of the great loſs the church would ſuſtain by his removal, and myſelf as an individual member thereof; yet durſt I not aſk his longer continuance in this ſtate of trials and dangers, knowing that if Divine wiſdom called him out of it now, it would certainly be in the beſt time.

From Warrington we went, through divers meetings in Lancaſhire, to the quarterly meeting at Lancaſter, which was ſignally favoured with the manifeſtation of Divine regard thro' the miniſtry. I remember, before the publick meeting, I was ſunk ſo low, that I ſcarcely expected ever more to be ſet at liberty in the exerciſe of my gift as heretofore; yet could not ſee what I had done to occaſion a loſs therein; but in the meeting I was as remarkably raiſed. Thus are the poor inſtruments abaſed and honoured for their own preſervation, and the good of the church; the one diſpenſation being as a ballaſt for the other.

The 26th, we went, in company with ſeveral friends, towards Penrith, where the yearly meeting for the four northern counties was to be held. In our way we called upon that truly honourable mother in Iſrael, Grace Chambers, who was very ancient and had been long indiſpoſed, with whom we were favoured with a refreſhing opportunity. How encouraging is it to young travellers to behold and conſider ſuch examples of perſeverance! It baffles the efforts of the adverſary to perſuade that it is impoſſible to hold out to the end; and raiſes this language in the ſoul, Lord, let my life and latter end be like theirs. At Penrith we met my beloved friend Abraham Farrington, another of theſe ancient worthies, and we mutually rejoiced to ſee each other.

The yearly meeting was large both of Friends and people of other ſocieties. My ſpirit was bowed before the Almighty, that I might be preſerved acting in my proper place in the courſe of my ſervice therein, and that my conduct might be unblamable; and, through mercy, I had humbling cauſe of thankfulneſs adminiſtered in the cloſe thereof, to Him who had exalted his own name and teſtimony through ſo weak an inſtrument, unto whom be the praiſe now and for ever, ſaith my ſoul! Although this meeting was attended by ſeveral able miniſters of the male ſex, it pleaſed the wiſe Maſter of the ſolemnity to employ them but little, and to lay the weight of the ſervice upon the females; who, though the weaker veſſels by nature, are at times rendered ſtrong through his Divine power: and our brethren rejoiced that it was apparently ſo, through the courſe of theſe meetings.

The exerciſe of my mind while at Penrith, was added to by the proſpect of my concern for viſiting ſome parts of Holland; for although before I left home I was reſigned thereto, and had imparted it to my relations, as well as to Friends of the monthly meeting, that they might conſider reſpecting granting me a certificate; yet now on its near approach, my want of the language, the various notions in religion which I knew prevailed amongſt that people, my ſex, and, for ought I knew, the being expoſed to much hardſhip, revolved in my mind; and, being oppoſed to my little ſtrength, depreſſed my ſpirits, yet not ſo as to cauſe me to turn from the proſpect, or prevent my wreſtling with the Almighty for wiſdom and ſtrength, to know and do his will.

After the yearly meeting at Penrith, we went to Cockermouth, and there attended a large general meeting. My concern for Holland continuing, and not expecting to be at home in time to attend our monthly meeting, I wrote to my brother to procure a certificate for the accompliſhment thereof.

The 3d, we went on board a veſſel bound from Whitehaven to Dublin, and arrived at that city the 5th, having been favoured with fine weather on our paſſage; but my ſpirit was much ſtripped of a ſenſe of divine good, and as I drew near the city it became depreſſed; in which ſtate I landed, and proceeded to my lodgings, which was at Samuel Judd's. At my entering his houſe, the remembrance of dear Mary Peiſley affectingly occurred. It was in this houſe that we ſeparated in our return from America; and therein we had ſpent many precious hours, in ſweet union of ſpirit. The national meeting began the 7th and continued till the 12th. It was a ſeaſon of cloſe engagement and hard labour, both in the meetings for worſhip and diſcipline; but I was favoured in it with the unity of the living members of the Society, and the helping hand of the Almighty; and in the cloſe, was humbly bowed before him under a ſenſe of his goodneſs, variouſly manifeſted in ſuſtaining my weak body under ſuch laborious exerciſes, and ſtrengthening me ſpiritually to teſtify boldly againſt the ſins of the people: which although it might expoſe me to their cenſure, yielded to my ſoul the peaceable fruits of righteouſneſs.

After the concluſion of the national meeting, I requeſted a friend to go and take my paſſage, ſaying, I muſt get to our quarterly meeting; on which a friend preſent ſaid, I ſpoke as if I had the wind at command. I replied, that, if the Lord appointed my being there, he would diſpoſe the wind to favour it, which happened accordingly.

The 14th, I parted from my dear companion L. Bradley in much affection, and quietly went on board a veſſel bound for Parkgate, accompanied by my friends Abraham Shackelton, Thomas Greer, and Joſeph Inman, who were going to the yearly meeting at London. We landed at our deſigned port the 15th, and reached Stourbridge on the 17th, where the quarterly meeting for Worceſterſhire was to be held; and the meeting for miniſters and elders began ſoon after we came there.

Here I was met by my dear mother and brother, to our mutual rejoicing; and my heart was deeply affected with love and gratitude, under the conſideration of the many mercies extended to me; and ſtrong deſires were raiſed to be enabled ſo to perſevere, as to be favoured with the continuance thereof.

We had a good meeting, and many Friends who attended it rejoiced to ſee me returned in ſafety, and, after taking an affectionate leave of them, I went home.

CHAP. VI.

I STAID but a few days with my relations, but ſet forward, with my dear brother and the before-mentioned Friends from Ireland, for the yearly meeting at London. In our way thereto we met our friends Samuel Fothergill and Abraham Farrington, unto whom I imparted my view of viſiting Friends in Holland, wherein they ſympathized with me. At London I laid my concern before the meeting for miniſters and elders; and it met the approbation of my friends, and a ſuitable companion was prepared for me by my good Maſter, namely, Sophia Hume, of London.

It is worthy remarking, that when this journey was firſt preſented to my mind, this friend was pointed out as a companion therein; yet had I not freedom to write, or ſay any thing to her thereupon until I had thus propoſed it, for the conſideration of Friends; when I found that kind Providence had cared for me, as ſhe had for ſome time found her mind engaged to hold herſelf in readineſs to accompany ſome friend on a journey, though ſhe knew not whom nor whereto, but on my mentioning my concern, ſaw both. John Kendal, a Friend of Colcheſter, who could ſpeak Dutch, was engaged in love to accompany us. Thus does the Lord mercifully provide all things neceſſary for ſuch of his ſervants as are freely given up to run on his errands, and move ſimply by his directions.

The yearly meeting at London was overſhadowed with the wing of Divine love. I had ſome ſatisfactory ſervice therein; and on the 7th of the Sixth month I went to Plaiſtow to viſit my dear and ancient friend John Hayward; and here I parted in much affection with my dear brother, and with Samuel and Ann Fothergill.

The 9th, I went to Chelmsford, where I ſtaid until the 12th, being in want of a little reſt. Here my companion Sophia Hume came to me, and we went together, with Abraham Farrington, to the before-mentioned quarterly meetings held at Colcheſter, Woodbridge, and Norwich; in all of which I was laboriouſly exerciſed, and the hand of my heavenly Father was with me; through which I was made ſtrong in his cauſe, and I hope the meetings ended to the honour of his worthy name. Under a ſenſe thereof my ſpirit bowed in thankfulneſs to him who clothes with ſtrength for the battle, and by his own right arm gets himſelf the victory: unto whoſe ſervice may my ſoul be bound for ever!

We ſtaid about three weeks in Norwich, in which city there is a large body of Friends, unto whom a powerful viſitation of Divine love had latterly been extended; through the prevalence whereof divers natural members, or branches of our own ſociety, had in a good degree ſubmitted to the ſimplicity of the croſs; and others had been gathered to the immediate teachings of the Shepherd of Iſrael from other religious ſocieties. Several had appeared in publick teſtimony, for whom in an eſpecial manner our ſpirits were exerciſed, that they might honour God in their reſpective callings, by an exemplary converſation and a living miniſtry. I had much ſervice amongſt them in the openings of Divine wiſdom and love, wherein ſome of the dangers which attended them were pointed out. I was alſo concerned cloſely to reprove ſuch as had ſuſtained loſs in the Truth, by letting out their minds after terreſtrial enjoyments, and were ſeeking great things to themſelves, whereby the Lord's work in them was marred.

From Norwich we went to Harwich, and on the 21ſt of the Seventh month, 1757, accompanied by John Kendal, went on board the packet bound for Helvoetſluys, where we landed the next day. There we took a carriage and went to the Briel, a pretty large town; but I did not find that ever any of our ſociety reſided therein, and the people ſeemed very ignorant reſpecting us: for as we walked the ſtreets, offence was taken at our friend John Kendal for not returning the cuſtomary ſalutation of putting off the hat in the ſame manner.

My ſpirit was very low on my arrival in this country, on account of the difficulty I laboured under for want of knowing the language. Could either myſelf or my companion have ſpoken Dutch, we might have explained to the man, who was an officer in the army, our reaſons for not returning his civility, for ſuch it appeared to be; and he was very much irritated at John Kendal's not noting it as ſuch.

From the Briel we went in a boat to Rotterdam, which is a large city, wherein there was formerly a meeting of Friends, and where ſtill remains a meeting-houſe, and there are a few who were educated among us; but they had ſo little regard to the teſtimony of Truth and the welfare of their ſouls, as entirely to neglect aſſembling to worſhip the Almighty; yet were not content to profeſs with any other people. We had no inclination to call upon any of theſe; but having information that the meeting-houſe was under the care of perſons who were the deſcendants of friends, we called at their houſe, and deſired that the meeting-houſe might be got in readineſs for us to have a meeting there at our return, which one of them promiſed it ſhould be. He behaved civilly, but appeared very diſtant from the profeſſion of his anceſtors. Theſe perſons were great tradeſmen, had become rich, and much in the grandeur of this world, and were now of the ſociety of the Meniſts or Baptiſts.

The next day we went in the trackſcuyts, by way of Delft and Leyden (in neither of which cities are any under our name), to Harlem, where lived the perſon who uſed to interpret for Friends from England: upon whom we called, but found him ſo enfeebled, as to be entirely unfit for that ſervice. Here we were met by Sophia Vander Werf and her ſon John, from Amſterdam. She was a woman of a ſweet natural diſpoſition, came amongſt Friends by convincement, and had received a gift in the miniſtry, in the exerciſe of which I believe ſhe was acceptable to Friends. The young man had reſided a conſiderable time in England; he ſpoke Engliſh well for a Dutchman, and I looked towards him for an interpreter; but although he appeared to have a ſenſe of Truth, I feared his being deep enough in the experimental work of it for that ſervice: ſo I ſaid nothing to him, and proceeded to Amſterdam under ſome diſcouragement. In this city a lodging was provided for us by Friends at the houſe of Abraham Herman, which appeared the moſt ſuitable place for our reception of any belonging to them. He with his wife received us kindly, and treated us ſo whilſt we ſtaid with them. It was Seventh-day evening when we came to Amſterdam, and before John Vander Werf left us, I aſked him whether he was willing to aſſiſt us as an interpreter; but he modeſtly declined, pleading his unfitneſs for the ſervice. John Kendal alſo refuſed, on account of his deficiency in the language to interpret in a publick meeting, although he could ſpeak Dutch in the common courſe of converſation. Under theſe diſcouraging circumſtances I went to bed, beſeeching the Almighty to lay a concern upon ſome one to aſſiſt me. when I roſe in the morning, my ſpirit was low, yet not doubtful of my being right in coming into this country. In this ſtate I went to meeting without any expectation of an interpreter being provided for me at that meeting; and therefore rather expected to be ſilent therein. The meeting was pretty large, but we were told, leſs than at ſome other times: for although there are but few profeſſing the Truth in this city, it is cuſtomary for people of all religious ſocieties, nations, and qualities, who come there on account of buſineſs or pleaſure, to go to our meetings, moſt of them doubtleſs from the motive of curioſity; but the ſolidity of the countenance and demeanour of ſome preſent, and the knowledge I afterwards had of them, convinced me that they were actuated by a better motive.

In the fore part of the meeting, my ſpirit was much exerciſed and broken under the conſideration of having no interpreter; yet ſupported in hope of the proviſion of Providence: for it appeared to me inconſiſtent with Divine wiſdom and mercy to bring me hither, and not to open the way for me to convey his will to the people. After ſome time a Dutch friend bore a ſhort teſtimony; and ſoon after he ſat down, ſomething aroſe in my mind, by way of information to the people reſpecting our motives for coming amongſt them; and I was quickly favoured with ſtrength to ſtand up, intending to ſay that I had ſomething to communicate to them, which if any one preſent would interpret, I would impart, but I was not obliged to proceed thus far, for upon ſeeing me riſe, John Vander Werf roſe alſo, came and ſtood by me in the gallery, and interpreted what I ſaid to the preſent relief of my ſpirit, and the ſatisfaction of ſuch friends preſent as underſtood both Dutch and Engliſh.

I found it ſo difficult to convey the doctrines of Truth in this way to the people, that it appeared almoſt impoſſible to get relief of mind, or liberty of expreſſion, to that degree I had ſometimes been favoured in my own tongue. I ſpoke a ſentence, and ſtopped for the interpreter to ſpeak it after me; and I was thankful that kind Providence had ſo far anſwered my belief of his providing for me; and was comforted in the hope that his bleſſing, which alone maketh fruitful, might be dropt upon my weak endeavours for the exaltation of his Truth. The meeting ended in ſolemn ſupplication, in which exerciſe I had no interpreter, John Vander Werf being unwilling to undertake that awful ſervice. Some preſent might underſtand Engliſh well enough to comprehend what I ſaid; and others, I believe, were ſenſible of the Divine power which overſhadowed the meeting.

The afternoon meeting was neither ſo large, nor yet ſo ſatisfactory, as that of the morning; which I thought might be occaſioned by a fellow-miniſter withholding what Divine wiſdom required to diſtribute; whereby my ſervice to the people appeared to be impeded, and, the life of truth being low, I ſaid but little. I left the meeting under ſome diſcouragement, yet not without hope of being more at liberty before I left the city.

We ſtaid in and about Amſterdam till the 5th of the Eighth month, in all which time we had no meeting but in the city; nor did it appear likely we ſhould have many elſewhere in the country, by reaſon of my interpreter being clerk to a merchant, whoſe buſineſs did not admit of his being much abſent, ſave on Firſt-days. In this time we had ſeveral pretty good opportunities with Friends and the people; yet I ſeemed as an ambaſſador in bonds, but laboured to be content in the preſent diſpenſation. We were viſited by ſeveral religious people, with ſome of whom I felt a degree of union in the Truth; but ſaw their loſs in running after notions, and not ſettling in the ground of true ſilence, wherein the mind becomes eſtabliſhed in rectitude: and it appeared proper to ſet them an example therein; and to be cautious of running into religious diſcourſe (to which they are much addicted), without feeling liberty for it in the Truth. We viſited a religious Meniſt, and had ſome ſatisfactory ſervice in his family. There are a number among that people who are near to Chriſt's kingdom, though not fully redeemed from inefficacious ceremonies, and a dependence on inſtrumental miniſtry, or at leaſt a fondneſs for it.

The 5th of the Eighth month, we went in the trackſcuyts, as far as Horn, towards Twiſk, our friend Sophia Vander Werf accompanying us. At Horn we called on two religious Meniſts; the one a preacher amongſt them, who ſeemed more gathered into ſtillneſs than moſt of that perſuaſion, and his wife near the Truth; the other much inclined to diſcourſe on religious matters, in whoſe family I found an engagement to leave a ſhort teſtimony to the benefit of ſilence, which they appeared to receive well. As we paſſed through the towns, we ſcattered ſome books ſetting forth our principles. A friend from Twiſk met us here with a waggon, wherein we went home with him that evening.

At Twiſk there is a ſmall meeting of profeſſors of Truth, but we found them much in the mixture, and ſome of them ſo exalted in notion, that it was hard faſtening any ſolid doctrine upon them. We were at two meetings with them, and ſeveral of the Meniſts; both of which were exerciſing, that in the morning particularly ſo; but I was comforted with an evidence that my ſervice, weak and imperfect as it appeared to me, was accepted of Him who employed me. The afternoon-meeting was more ſatisfactory, although laborious. The Meniſt preacher before-mentioned, with his wife and ſon, were with us, in whoſe company we had a degree of ſatisfaction. The next morning we procured a ſelect opportunity with moſt of the friends belonging to the meeting, at the houſe of a valuable woman friend, whoſe circumſtances demanded our ſympathy; ſhe dwelling ſolitarily and having been many years confined through extreme weakneſs. She was ſuch a pattern of reſignation and cheerful innocence, as I had rarely ſeen. Her very countenance beſpoke acquieſcence with the allotment of Providence, and not one complaining word dropt from her. This meeting tended to the relief of our ſpirits, and we took leave of the ſaid friend and others in love, and returned to Amſterdam, again diſperſing ſome books in our way; which was all we could do, as our interpreter could not ſtay with us to have meetings in the towns.

On our return to Amſterdam, we viſited almoſt all who could be accounted members of our ſociety, in their families, and attended the meetings on Firſt and week-days, as they came in courſe, until the 21ſt: in which time I had ſeveral good opportunities with the people of that city, and the ſtrangers who attended the meetings, and left it in peace.

One viſit we paid in Amſterdam was ſo remarkable in its conſequence, that I note it, viz. A man who was convinced of Truth, had a turbulent ſpirited wife; who had violently oppoſed his going amongſt Friends; and after one meeting which he attended with us, railed much; nevertheleſs, ſhe ſent us an invitation to ſup with her, and it appeared beſt for us to accept it. She provided handſomely for us, but ſeemed to be in a wrangling ſpirit. She talked about dreſs being an indifferent matter; upon which I told her, that the adorning of Chriſtian women, ſhould be that of a meek and quiet ſpirit, which in the ſight of God was of great price. This ſtruck and ſilenced her, and ſhe afterwards behaved obligingly to us. After we had paid this viſit, her huſband told us, that ſome time before, as they were going to bed, ſhe, being in a very bad temper, would not let him reſt; and, although he was in bed before her, I think he aroſe again. She took up the Bible, I ſuppoſe, to convince him of his errors, and opened it upon this very text; which then ſo affected her, that ſhe condemned herſelf, kneeled down to pray for forgiveneſs, and promiſed that ſhe would never more treat him ſo improperly; but ſhe had not kept her promiſe, and the text being now revived in her remembrance, it again affected her. We were quite ignorant of the circumſtance.

The 21ſt, we had a meeting at Harlem to good ſatisfaction. We lodged at Iſaac Van Weſtercappel's, who furniſhed us with a room to hold a meeting in, and gave notice of it to the people. He was deſcended from friends by the mother's ſide, but he himſelf never made profeſſion with us. He was exceedingly kind to us, and, with his family, appeared to be ſeeking after the beſt things. In the evening we had the company of ſome ſeeking people, moſt of them of the offspring of friends, with whom we had converſation upon religious ſubjects.

In our publick meeting at this place, I was more at liberty in the exerciſe of my gift, than had been uſual with me in Holland; at which I afterwards admired, being told that my interpreter was uncommonly defective in rendering what I ſaid into Dutch. This circumſtance ſometimes revolved in my remembrance, accompanied with ſome kind of doubt reſpecting my being ſo much at liberty to ſpeak, when what I delivered was not well interpreted to the people; but after ſome years, a friend of Norwich told me, that there was at that meeting a ſenſible man, a Jew, who underſtood the Engliſh tongue well, who told him that he had attended the meeting, and that my interpreter did not do me juſtice; but, continued he, It was no matter, as all ſhe ſaid was directed to me: and my friend added, that it ſo affected him, that he believed he would freely interpret for me, ſhould I ever want his aſſiſtance. This relation removed my before-mentioned doubt, for the word preached found its way to one mind, for which in Divine wiſdom it was appointed.

The 22d, we parted with my interpreter John Vander Werf for whom I was concerned, and ſympathiſed with him, as he was left almoſt alone (in regard to Friends), and much expoſed in the courſe of his buſineſs; and from the affability and ſprightlineſs of his diſpoſition, he appeared to be in much danger: but I conceived hope in the ſenſe of the extendings of divine goodneſs being ſingularly towards him. We alſo took leave of our kind hoſt J. Van Weſtercappel and ſeveral of his family and friends in love and tenderneſs, and went to Rotterdam, whither his daughter Suſanna Van Weſtercappel, a ſerious agreeable young woman, and our friend Sophia Vander Werf accompanied us. In our way, we diſtributed books to ſome people in the trackſcuyts, and the ſame evening had a meeting at Rotterdam with ſome people who underſtood Engliſh, of which there are many in that place.

The 23d, our kind friends Sophia Vander Werf and Suſanna Van Weſtercappel left us, and we went to the Briel, and thence, the 24th, to Helvoetſluys. In our way from Rotterdam to this place we met with ſeveral perſons who were going to England, with whom we had much diſcourſe concerning our religious principles, I believe meaſurably to our mutual ſatisfaction. One of them was a Swede, a Lutheran by profeſſion; he was favoured with a good underſtanding, and had a mind ſuſceptible of religious impreſſions; although his converſation was not ſo uniformly exemplary as could have been deſired.

On coming to Helvoetſluys, we found that the wind was againſt our ſailing for England, and that the inn was full of company many of whom were waiting for their paſſage to England: ſo the landlord put us in a houſe which was ready furniſhed, and we became a family to ourſelves, being furniſhed with proviſions from the inn. The wind continuing contrary until the Firſt-day of the week, and there being in the place many people of divers nations and ſtations who could ſpeak Engliſh; with the concurrence and aſſiſtance of our landlord and company, we got our dining-room well ſeated; and on the Firſt-day morning held a meeting in it, whereto the ſtrangers pretty generally came. I was favoured to declare the Truth amongſt them, to the relief of my own ſpirit, and I believe to the comfort and ſatisfaction of my companions; but the labour was hard, through the unpreparedneſs of the hearts of ſome to receive, and perhaps the want of a ſufficient knowledge of the language in others, to underſtand, the doctrines delivered.

The 29th in the evening, the wind turned in our favour, and continued ſo, until about the middle of the next day; but our captain would not put to ſea without a pretty ſteady wind, becauſe of the French privateers: however, we went on board that day and ſet ſail, and the wind being very boiſterous our jib-ſail was ſoon rent; and another packet boat going out with us, ſtruck upon the Pales, broke a hole in her ſide, and, as the paſſengers ſaid, was in danger of being loſt. The wind continuing to blow hard and contrary, we ſoon came to an anchor, and the next morning returned back to Helvoetſluys; and the following day, the 1ſt of the Ninth month, we were favoured with a fair wind, and arrived at Harwich the 2d, in peace and thankfulneſs to the Almighty. I had to admire his goodneſs, in thus preſerving and ſupporting my body and mind by ſea and land, and through all the exerciſes attendant on this journey, amongſt a people of a ſtrange language.

Even our detention at Helvoetſluys appeared to be in the ordering of Divine wiſdom and mercy to the people there viſited; and in our ſelect company we had frequent opportunities of converſing upon edifying ſubjects; ſome of our companions ſeeming willing to gain information reſpecting Friends and their principles. Once the ſubject of ſelf-defence was ſtarted, which they might probably think we could not invalidate; but we were enabled to give a reaſon for diſſenting from them in ſentiment, and on its being queried what we would do if attacked, and muſt either be killed, or kill. I ſaid I could not ſay how I ſhould act at ſuch a juncture, wherein nature might be improperly raiſed; but that now being favoured with the hope of my immortal ſpirit's centering ſafe, and knowing that a perſon who ſought my life muſt be in an unfit ſtate to enter Chriſt's holy kingdom, I ſhould rather chooſe to die, than plunge that ſoul into everlaſting miſery; and ſhould have greatly the advantage in being releaſed from this ſtate of trials. They heard with attention, and the Swede with tears in his eyes, replied, Theſe are indeed ſublime ſentiments.

We had been ſo long detained at Helvoetſluys, that our money grew ſhort, but the captain ſaid we ſhould have what we wanted from him; however, we had enough to pay our paſſage, and bear our expenſes (excepting the hire of our chaiſe) to Colcheſter: which we reached almoſt pennyleſs the 3d, and were affectionately received by John Kendal's mother, and other friends. Here I drew a bill, and obtained money, and my companion, Sophia Hume, got enough to carry her to London.

After a ſhort ſtay at Colcheſter, I went with my companion Sophia Hume to Kelvedon, where we were favoured with a comfortable meeting with Friends, and parting in much love, ſhe went for London. She had been to me a ſteady, affectionate, ſympathiſing companion; and although in this journey, not much engaged in publick miniſtry, ſhe was very helpful in meetings, through a deep ſpiritual exerciſe; and being endowed with a good underſtanding, both naturally and ſpiritually, ſhe was qualified to give an anſwer of "her faith and the hope that was in her:" and I was often thankful to the bounteous Author of all my mercies, for furniſhing me with ſo ſuitable a companion.

From Kelvedon, I went without any companion, through ſeveral meetings, to Norwich, where I was favoured in the ſervice appointed me, but ſtaid there only a few days; proceeding thence, through ſome meetings in Lincolnſhire, to the quarterly meeting at York; where I again met with Abraham Farrington, who with many more of my friends, rejoiced at my being returned to my native land in peace and ſafety.

From York, I paſſed through ſeveral meetings in that county, wherein the Lord was pleaſed to vary the diſpenſations of his wiſdom, by dipping me into a ſtate of great ſuffering; which I could not get above, but which I ſaw to be good, near the cloſe of a journey wherein I had been ſo eminently favoured; as it tended to preſerve me from clothing myſelf with the Lord's jewels, and humbled my ſpirit to the very duſt. From Yorkſhire I went to Mancheſter and Warrington, where I regained a little liberty in the Truth, and ſo proceeded to ſome meetings in Cheſhire; in one of which I thought I was raiſed higher, in the Divine life, in the exerciſe of my gift, than I had been throughout the journey. Thus does Divine wiſdom abuſe and exalt at his pleaſure, unto whom be glory, honour, and praiſe aſcribed, now and for ever.

The 15th of the Tenth month, I got home, to the mutual ſatisfaction of myſelf and relations; and, notwithſtanding my great fatigue, in a rather better ſtate of health than when I left it; and found my dear and aged mother well: and here I alſo met my dear friend Lucy Bradley, who was returning home from her viſit to Friends in Ireland, and our rejoicing one in another was mutual.

The 17th, we went together to our monthly meeting, wherein I gave to Friends ſome account of my ſervice and ſatisfaction in this journey; and my ſpirit was much humbled in a ſenſe of the providential care and abundant loving-kindneſs of a merciful God, variouſly diſplayed to this period of my life.

This winter I ſpent much about home, and amongſt my relations: not in idleneſs, for I was very cloſely engaged either in attending monthly or quarterly meetings, or other ſervices.

CHAP. VII.

THE 6th of the Fourth month, 1758, I left home, to attend the yearly meetings of Wales, Briſtol, and London; in all which, eſpecially the two firſt, I was Divinely favoured; and returned home, in peace and thankfulneſs, in the Fifth month.

Towards the fall of the year, I attended our circular yearly meeting held at Kidderminſter, which was large and very ſatisfactory. After this meeting, being inclined to viſit ſome provincial meetings, &c. in Ireland, I went with my dear friend Samuel Fothergill to Warrington, and thence proceeded to Liverpool, in order to take ſhipping for Dublin; but finding no veſſel there ready to ſail, I ſent to inquire whether any one was going from Parkgate; and the meſſenger returning, ſaid there was one, but that ſhe would ſail the next tide, and that it was then too late to reach her. I was pretty earneſt to try, but ſome friends, who I thought were acquainted with the time of the tide's turning, diſſuaded me from attempting it. So I gave it up reluctantly, fearing I ſhould loſe the opportunity of getting my paſſage in time for the meetings; and I afterwards heard that the tide did not turn till an hour after the time they ſaid it would; ſo had I gone, I might probably have reached the veſſel in time.

I waited at Liverpool more than a week, moſt of that time in almoſt conſtant expectation of ſailing, a veſſel being ſoon ready to ſail, but the wind was contrary. At length I went on board, and we ſet ſail with a fair wind, but it quickly turned againſt us, and we lay all night at anchor in a ſmall harbour called Hoylake. The wind blew hard, and I eſteemed it a ſingular favour that our captain was perſuaded to lay at anchor; for we might have been in imminent danger of periſhing among the ſand-banks, had he ſtood out to ſea; which I had ſome reaſon to believe he would have done, had I not been on board; for I being ſet to a day in getting to Dublin, in order to attend the province-meetings, had requeſted him, if there were not a probability of our making our paſſage in time, to ſet me on ſhore ſomewhere in Great Britain; which he promiſed to do if he could. The veſſel being ſmall and very full of paſſengers, who in the night crowded into the cabin, it was ſo extremely cloſe, that I was much afflicted both in body and mind: under which I ſought for Divine direction reſpecting proceeding forward in the veſſel ſhould the wind prove favourable in the morning.

I thought I felt my mind turned to the ſhore, and releaſed from the weight of the journey, at leaſt for the preſent; therefore when it was light, I deſired the captain to endeavour to put me on ſhore, and he accordingly hung out a flag for a boat to come and take me; but none came, and as the wind was again ſhifted in their favour, and it appeared hazardous to ſend the ſhip's boat with me, leſt ſhe ſhould not return time enough for her ſailing, I feared I muſt ſtay with them; but unexpectedly the captain offered the boat and men, provided I would be left on the beach with my ſaddle and clothes, and let the men return to the veſſel immediately; to which I agreed, and left the veſſel, under the probability of her making her paſſage. A poor woman of Ireland who had no mind to proceed in her, went on ſhore with me, who, with her little girl, carried my ſaddle, &c. about half a mile, to a publick houſe, where I breakfaſted, and got a man and horſes to take me to Liverpool. I proceeded penſively, leſt I ſhould have miſſed my way in leaving the veſſel; yet I could commit my caſe to the Lord, who knew I had acted in ſimplicity. In our way we ſaw the veſſel under ſail, juſt turning out of the harbour on her courſe. When we reached Liverpool I was much fatigued, and low both in body and mind, having ſlept little in the night; but after ſome reſt I attended the funeral of a child the ſame evening, and in the meeting the Lord ſo favoured, that my fears about leaving the veſſel in a great degree vaniſhed. After meeting I found that the wind was turned againſt her, and continued to blow very hard all that night; and the next morning the veſſel came back to Liverpool. I ſtaid there the next day, and then returned to Warrington, and was at the meetings at Penketh and Warrington, the next day, and ſo proceeded home, taking in my way thither a meeting at Nantwich. Although I had been thus diſappointed, I had reaſon to hope that my leaving home was not without ſome fruit to others as well as to myſelf; ſo that my ſoul had cauſe to bleſs the ſacred name of Him, who ſanctifies every trial to his children.

The day I ſtaid at Liverpool, I penned the rough draught of an Epiſtle to friends in Ireland, and after my return home tranſcribed and ſent it.

My mind ſettled in quiet after this diſappointment, but my body had ſuffered ſo much, that a little reſt ſeemed neceſſary to repair my health; and I entertained a hope of being at and about home this winter; but Divine wiſdom pointed out work for me elſewhere, and my mind was reſigned to follow his directions. I left home in the Twelfth month, and went to the quarterly meeting at Warwick, where through much painful labour of ſpirit, I was favoured to diſcharge the duty required of me, to the relief of my own ſpirit and the ſatisfaction of experienced friends. From that place I went, through ſeveral meetings in Oxfordſhire and Northamptonſhire, to the quarterly meeting at Northampton; and, turning back to the monthly meeting at Banbury, viſited ſome other meetings in Oxfordſhire, and attended the quarterly meeting held at Oxford. In all theſe ſervices the ſupporting protecting arm of Divine goodneſs was near, whereby I was conducted in ſafety; though not without conſiderable danger from the badneſs of the roads. I had one very dangerous fall from my horſe, but was mercifully preſerved from any fracture.

The quarterly meeting at Oxford was attended by many of the ſtudents, who moſtly behaved well, although the doctrine of Truth ran very cloſe and pointed to them. That Divine power with which they were too much unacquainted, bound down their ſpirits. May it be praiſed for ever.

From Oxford, I paſſed through ſeveral meetings wherein Truth favoured, pretty directly for London; where I ſtaid about five weeks viſiting the meetings of Friends, and attending other ſervices as I was favoured with ſtrength. Sometimes, through a fear of exceeding, I apprehend I fell ſhort of my commiſſion, and a degree of ſuffering followed; which was however leſs painful to me, than what would have ariſen from errors on the other hand. I laboured and ſuffered much in this city, and the ſtate of my health was poor during my ſtay in it; but through infinite mercy I left it in the enjoyment of a good degree of peace, and returned home in the Second month, 1759, to the mutual rejoicing of myſelf and friends. My friend Ann Fothergill and ſeveral others accompanied me to ſome meetings in my way home, and took me in their carriages; whoſe affectionate care in my weak ſtate of health, I commemorate with thankfulneſs to the everbounteous Author of all my mercies.

The day after I got home, my dear mother was taken ill, as was my brother a few days after, and the ſtate of my own health was weak, and ſome peculiar exerciſes attended me. Some libertine ſpirits endeavoured to invalidate my character and ſervice, for no other cauſe than what appeared to me to be my duty. This was an extremely trying ſeaſon, but I hope in the end it was profitable, and tended to eſtabliſh my mind in a patient ſuffering of reproach, and to guard me with caution that I might not adminiſter occaſion for it to the adverſaries of Truth.

I attended to ſervices about home, as liberty and ſtrength were afforded, and became better in my health: my mother alſo recovered bravely, but my brother continued in a very weak ſtate. In the Fourth month I was obliged to leave him, and my dear mother, being drawn to attend the circular yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which was this year held at Stockport in Cheſhire. It was very large, and ſignally attended with the humbling power of Truth; and the Lord was pleaſed to make uſe of me and ſeveral other of his ſervants: for which my ſoul worſhipped before Him who humbleth and exalteth, and, in his unſearchable wiſdom, doth all things well. I returned home, and found my dear mother and brother much in the ſame ſtate as I left them.

In the Fifth month I again left home, intending to attend our quarterly meeting at Eveſham, and ſo proceed to the yearly meeting at London. My brother was ſo much recovered as to accompany me to the quarterly meeting, from whence he intended to return home; but on our firſt day's journey he was taken very ill. This brought a freſh exerciſe upon me, under which I petitioned the Almighty that he would be pleaſed to direct me how to act for the relief of my own mind, and the diſcharge of that duty which I owed to an affectionate brother; on whoſe account I intreated, that if he might be relieved, the way for it might be pointed out. Under this exerciſe I proceeded to Eveſham, my brother ſtill accompanying me, though very weak. After the ſervice of the quarterly meeting was over, my way opened to Worceſter; whereto my brother was perſuaded to accompany me, and to take the advice of a phyſician, who ſtrongly preſſed his going to Bath. Upon conſidering the urgency of his caſe, ſome of my friends with myſelf judged it beſt for him to proceed there directly, as returning home firſt would but weaken him the more: ſo I wrote an account of our determination to my dear mother and ſiſter, who acquieſced therein. I alſo informed my brother and ſiſter Young of my afflicting ſituation, and requeſted that one of them would accompany him; and Providence ſo ordered it, that my ſiſter came prepared for the journey the day after I ſent for her. The next day, being the Firſt of the week, we were favoured together by Divine goodneſs; and the following morning we parted in much affection, and they proceeded to Bath, and I was at liberty to purſue my journey. This had been to me an extremely exerciſing ſeaſon, from the great fear I was under of erring on either hand; but I record it to the praiſe of Infinite goodneſs, who, in this critical juncture, directed me to act for the help of my dear brother; unto whom my endeavours were ſignally bleſſed with ſucceſs, the Bath waters being rendered ſerviceable to him.

From Worceſter I went to Coventry; and in the way had a meeting at Henly in Arden, Warwickſhire, in which place Friends have a meeting-houſe, but none of our ſociety remained. At Coventry, I met my friend Samuel Fothergill, who having been long indiſpoſed, I was rejoiced to ſee that it appeared likely he would be again reſtored to the ſervice of Truth. We went, together with many friends from the North of England, direct to London: where I was favoured with ſtrength to attend pretty cloſely to the ſervice of the yearly meeting, and had full ſatisfaction that I was there in the direction of Divine wiſdom.

From London I went to the quarterly meeting at Colcheſter, and in my way there attended the Firſt-day meeting at Coggeſhall, which was large, and favoured with the Divine preſence.

I left Colcheſter before the concluding meeting, being preſſed in my mind to reach the quarterly meeting at Banbury in Oxfordſhire, which, with very hard travelling, I accompliſhed. I had ſome meetings in the way, and was comforted in adminiſtering a little relief to ſome poor ſouls who appeared ready to faint under their exerciſes. After the quarterly meeting at Banbury, I went to that at Northampton, much in the croſs to my own will, being very deſirous to get home, conſidering the ſtate of our family, and that my own health was affected with very hard travelling, miniſterial labour, and exerciſe of mind. But I did not loſe my reward, for I was favoured with ſtrength ſufficient for the ſervice required, went from Northampton in much peace and thankfulneſs, and reached home in two days after: where I was gladly received by my dear aged mother and ſiſter, but my brother was not yet returned from Bath. In the laſt fifteen days before I got home, I attended twenty-three meetings, beſides other ſervices, and travelled on horſeback.

The concern I had for Ireland reviving, I left home in the Eighth month, and with very hard travelling was favoured to viſit moſt of the meetings in that nation this fall, and returned to England ſoon after the half-year's meeting in the Eleventh month. A religious young woman, Sarah Chriſtie, not in the miniſtry, accompanied me through the greateſt part of the journey in Ireland. I landed from Ireland at Whitehaven, and went through the meetings in ſome part of Cumberland, the Biſhoprick of Durham, and the eaſt ſide of Yorkſhire; and turned to the quarterly meeting for Weſtmoreland in the Firſt month 1760. The weather being extremely ſharp this winter, and my health but poor through hard travelling, and taking cold, I ſuffered much in body; but gracious Providence ſupported and carried me through the ſervice required, to the admiration of myſelf and others. The weakneſs of my conſtitution appeared inadequate to ſo great a fatigue; but I experienced that hand which employed me, to be ſtrength in weakneſs: ſalvation and power be aſcribed thereto for ever!

In the beginning of the Fourth month my ſiſter Ann was married to Thomas Summerfield, of Bloxham, Oxfordſhire; and my brother, who accompanied her to her new habitation, returned home very ill; yet I could not be eaſy to omit the attendance of the Welch yearly meeting held this year at Oſweſtry, and my ſiſter Young kindly ſtaid with him and my mother in my abſence. The meeting was very large; and I had good reaſon to believe I was there in the counſel of the Almighty. I returned home in little more than a week, where I found my brother yet unwell; nevertheleſs I thought it right to leave him again in a few days, being engaged to attend the yearly meetings of Briſtol and London: which I did, taking ſome meetings in my way.

The yearly meeting at London was large and very ſatisfactory, except from ſome diſturbance which was given to Friends meetings by ſome diſorderly perſons not in unity with them. My ſtrength in the diſcharge of my duty was mercifully renewed, and an enlargedneſs of heart experienced towards my brethren. I had left home through much difficulty, but was thankful that I had preſſed through it; and on my return I had reaſon to believe that kind Providence had made up the loſs of my company to my mother and brother; for I found her cheerful, and him in better health.

I came home in the Sixth month, and ſtaid at or near it until the latter end of the Eighth, labouring as I found ability in the ſervice of Truth, and endeavouring to diſcharge my duty in domeſtick cares: a greater weight whereof than heretofore reſted upon me ſince my ſiſter's marriage; through which, and my brother's continued indiſpoſition, my way in leaving home was ſtraitened; yet I know not that any clear manifeſtation of duty was omitted; although ſometimes it was diſcharged with difficulty.

My brother being ſomewhat better, I left home in order to viſit Friends meetings in Derbyſhire, ſome of the dales of Yorkſhire, and part of Lancaſhire. I was favoured to accompliſh this journey in forty-eight days, travelling in that time about 700 miles, and attending fifty-two meetings, beſides other ſervices, often in Friends' families, by which hard labour my ſpirits were much exhauſted, yet was not my health ſo impaired, but that I hoped with reſt it might be reſtored.

In this journey I had ſome ſatisfactory ſervice among people not profeſſing with us; and ſome in towns where no meetings were held. At Bradford in Lancaſhire, ſome unthinking people and children diſturbed our meeting almoſt through the whole time of our holding it; but ſome ſober inquiring people attended it, with whom we had reaſon to hope the teſtimony of Truth had place. After the meeting we had a ſatisfactory opportunity with ſome of them at the houſe of one that had lately joined Friends in that place. Some friends accompanied me in this ſervice, viz. Jonathan Raine and his wife, of Crawſhay Booth meeting, Matthew Meller of Mancheſter, and ſeveral others; from whom I parted in goſpel love.

On my return home the 16th of the Tenth month, I had the ſatisfaction to find my dear mother well, and my brother better than he had been. The night before I came there, I had a fall from my horſe, but through mercy received no hurt.

The 17th of the Eleventh month, I ſet out to attend our quarterly meeting at Worceſter, which was large and mercifully favoured with the Divine preſence. From thence I went to Leominſter to viſit my ſiſter Young and her family; and ſpent a few days with them and friends there profitably. In my way home, accompanied with ſeveral friends from Leominſter, I had a large meeting at Ludlow, in which town there was only one that profeſſed with us. Several ſober people were amongſt thoſe who attended this meeting; and Divine goodneſs was pleaſed to favour with opening the Truths of the goſpel unto them. I left the town that night, at which I was not quite eaſy, not knowing but if I had ſtaid, ſome inquiring people might have ſought an opportunity of converſation. I returned home the 27th, and found my mother tolerably well, on whoſe account, in this abſence from her, I had been concerned, conſidering her advanced age.

In the Twelfth month, I went to the quarterly meeting at Warwick, and thence to viſit my ſiſter in Oxfordſhire; with whom I ſpent a few days, viſited ſome meetings in the neighbourhood; and proceeded to Oxford. Many of the ſtudents and others not profeſſing with us, came to the meeting; towards whom Divine Wiſdom was pleaſed to manifeſt his regard, and ſome of them behaved ſoberly. It was the time of the quarterly meeting. In my return home, I attended at Long Compton the funeral of a religious young woman, with whom I had been acquainted. It proved a ſtrengthening ſeaſon in Divine love, which freely flowed towards the people.

From Long Compton I went to Chipping-Norton, Eveſham, and Worceſter, ſtaid a few days amongſt Friends there, and returned home through Eveſham and Alceſter.

I ſtaid about home until the 21ſt of the Third month, 1761, when I went to the quarterly meeting at Birmingham; which was comfortable in a ſenſe of the continued regard of heaven; but ſorrowful in the apparent declenſion of ſome profeſſing with us from the life of Truth.

From Birmingham I proceeded to the quarterly meeting for Nottinghamſhire, held at Mansfield, which was ſmall, few friends reſiding in that county. I laboured among them in love, and with ſtrong deſires for their help; and left them in a degree of peace, though not without a doubt of having been rather ſhort in diſcharging my duty.

From Mansfield, I went to Cheſterfield, and had a meeting there, to which came ſeveral from other meetings, and we were favoured together in the Divine preſence. I then proceeded through ſome meetings in Yorkſhire, wherein I was ſtrengthened to miniſter, I hope to the ſatisfaction and comfort of honeſt-hearted friends, and to the relief of my own ſpirit. I came to Lancaſter the 9th of the Fourth month, in order to attend the quarterly meeting there. Thus far on the journey I had travelled very hard, and the day before I came to Lancaſter, having met with a very dangerous fall from my horſe, whereby I hurt one of my arms, ſo that I was unable to help myſelf, and was otherwiſe hurt, it was hard for me to travel; yet I was enabled to proceed forward the next afternoon in a chaiſe to Kendal; and, having attended the quarterly meeting there, proceeded to Appleby, to the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which began the 12th. I carried my arm in a ſling, but in this time of weakneſs kind Providence furniſhed me with a ſuitable companion to aſſiſt me, viz. Chriſtiana Hird of Yorkſhire, of whoſe tender care, and affectionate ſervices, I retain a grateful ſenſe.

The yearly meeting at Appleby was attended by many ſober people from the adjacent country, as well as by a large number of the inhabitants of the town; and many of them were conſiderably affected by the teſtimony of Truth; whereto they had been ſtrangers, and many of them had imbibed diſagreeable ſentiments reſpecting Friends and their principles; but the Lord was pleaſed ſo to manifeſt his power amongſt them, that their prejudices were removed, and a confeſſion obtained to the truths which were freely preached among them; and Friends left the town rejoicing in the heavenly Father's love and goodneſs, in thus favouring us, and exalting the teſtimony of Truth, in a place wherein ſome of our worthy friends in the beginning of our being a people had ſuffered ſo deeply. [See Friends Sufferings by Joſeph Beſſe.] The 15th, Samuel Fothergill and myſelf had a meeting at Kirby Steven, which was large and ſolid, many ſeeking people around the country attending it; and the Lord was pleaſed to cauſe the goſpel trumpet to be ſounded clearly and powerfully among them: glory be to his Name for ever!

I went, accompanied by Chriſtiana Hird, with the friends from Wenſlydale into that quarter; had a meeting at Haws, and the enſuing Firſt-day attended the general meeting at Ayſgarth, which was very large. A light ſet of people frequently attending on that time of the year: but the power of Truth was meaſurably over their ſpirits, and I left the place in a good degree of peace. I proceeded in viſiting the meetings in this part of Yorkſhire, and having a view of going almoſt directly from that county, to the yearly meeting at London, and being deſirous of getting clear of as many meetings therein as I could; I continued to travel hard among the dales. But, my ſtrength being much exhauſted, and ſome painful effects of my late fall continuing, when I came to the houſe of my friend William Hird, at Woodhouſe (father to my kind companion), I reſted for a few days, and was treated with that tenderneſs which the ſtate of my health required. From hence, I went to Gilderſome meeting, where I parted from Chriſtiana Hird, in love and ſympathy; and went, through ſeveral meetings in Yorkſhire, to Nottingham. I ſtaid at Nottingham over Firſt-day, and attended two meetings there. I was weak and much affected with a hoarſeneſs, yet had ſome ſervice amongſt Friends there, though not fully to the relief of my mind.

I left Nottingham on the 2d day, and reached London the 7th of the Fifth month. I was favoured with a good degree of peace, and thankfulneſs to that good Hand, which had hitherto conducted, and ſupported me in weakneſs.

The yearly meeting was large, and I hope profitable; although I did not think, in the general, that inſtrumental miniſtry roſe ſo high, as it had done in ſome of thoſe annual ſolemnities: but friends were comforted in the immediate ſenſe of the continuance of Divine favour, under which they ſeparated; ſome perhaps, to meet no more in time. Our friend Joſeph White, from America, having paid a religious viſit to Friends in this nation, and being about to return home, had a certificate from Friends at this meeting of their unity with his ſervices whilſt here; and John Stephenſon and Robert Proud being under an engagement of mind to viſit Friends on the continent of America, had certificates for that end.

My ſpirit rejoiced that I was enabled to attend this meeting; and indeed I have ſeldom or ever attended the yearly meetings in London, without peculiar edification, although ſometimes ſufferings from various cauſes have fallen to my lot: and I am perſuaded that if Friends more generally gave themſelves up to attend that ſolemnity; and when there, abode under the ſeaſoning virtue of Truth, they would be better qualified to labour in their ſeveral ſtations and places of reſidence: the weight of ſervice devolving upon them there, would be brought home with them, and a more fervent care would remain for maintaining our Chriſtian teſtimony in its various branches, and ſtretching the line of diſcipline over ſuch among us who walk diſorderly.

The week after the yearly meeting I went to Plaiſtow, and reſted a few days with my friend John Hayward; and, being a little recruited, I proceeded, though in diffidence and fear (being often low in body, as well as preſſed with the weight of the ſervice appointed me), to the yearly meetings of Colcheſter, Woodbridge, and Norwich: in all of which, through the ſtrengthening hand of Divine mercy, I had good ſervice.

From Norwich I paſſed, through ſome meetings in Lincolnſhire and Yorkſhire, to the quarterly meeting at York, which was at this time attended by many friends from the ſeveral quarters of it; and ſome friends under appointment from the yearly meeting at London, to viſit the monthly and quarterly meetings of Friends, were there; and, I hope, were ſerviceable, in inquiring into the general ſtate of Friends, exciting them to various duties, and endeavouring to ſtrengthen the hedge of diſcipline.

From this meeting I proceeded, accompanied by Rachel Wilſon and Margaret Raine, to Leeds and Bradford, and ſo to a large general meeting held annually in a barn at Bingley. It was in a good degree ſatisfactory, many goſpel Truths being opened to the people; who behaved ſoberly, and many of them ſeemed well affected towards Friends. After this meeting I proceeded towards the quarterly meeting at Lancaſter, and from that place, accompanied by my friends Jonathan Raine and wife and Alexander Parkinſon, I went to Turton near Bolton, where ſeveral young men and others were under convincement. Several friends met us here, and we had a favoured meeting with them and many of their neighbours; rejoicing in the hope, that the Shepherd of Iſrael would gather to himſelf a people in that country. There are none under our name near them, which rendered the breaking forth of Truth amongſt them a more ſignal inſtance of the immediate efficacy of its Divine power. May they be preſerved humble, and dependent on that Hand, which alone can build up, and "eſtabliſh on the moſt holy faith."

From Turton I went with my friend Jonathan Raine and wife to their houſe near Roſſendale, and attended a large general meeting there the next day; and proceeded to Mancheſter on Second-day, and had a meeting there that evening. On Third-day, accompanied by two men friends, I travelled hard; and in the evening we miſſed our way over a moor, which rendered it late in the night when we came to John Draycoat's in Derbyſhire. I had a fall from my mare, through her miſſing her ſtep upon a narrow cauſeway, but through mercy was preſerved from hurt. Next day I had a meeting at Furnace, and afterwards rode to Burton upon Trent, and the enſuing day to Poleſworth, in order to attend the marriage of my couſins John Wilkins and Elizabeth Lythall, which was ſolemnized at Badſley the next day, and we were favoured together with the Lord's preſence: bleſſed be his holy name! The next day, being the 20th of the Seventh month I reached home, where I found my dear mother as well as could be expected for her age, but my brother yet poorly. I had now at ſeveral times viſited Friends in Yorkſhire pretty generally; and had conſiderable ſervice amongſt people not profeſſing with them. After this journey my mind ſettled in peace and thankfulneſs, having to look back upon it with deep gratitude to the Divine hand, whereby I had been conducted, ſupported, and encouraged to preſs forward, although under conſiderable bodily weakneſs, and ſome fears on account of the ſituation of my dear mother, &c. But as my eye was preſerved ſingle to the Lord's ſervice, he cared for thoſe I had left for his name's ſake, and brought me home in a better ſtate of health than I had left it, notwithſtanding I had travelled and laboured exceedingly hard; having in fifteen weeks attended 117 meetings, and travelled about 1230 miles; nearly the whole on horſeback.

The beginning of the Eighth month, I attended the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Bromyard in Herefordſhire. It was not ſo large, either of Friends or people of other ſocieties, as of late years had been uſual, nor did the life of Truth in the miniſtry riſe to the height I have known it; yet, upon the whole, Friends had cauſe to be thankful for the opportunity.

From this meeting I went to ſpend a day or two with my dear ſiſter Young at Leominſter, which I eſteemed a great favour, as it was the laſt time we ſpent together, except near her laſt moments. She was ſeized in the Tenth month following with an indiſpoſition, which terminated in a violent inflammatory fever. Her huſband was then in the weſt of England, in company with ſome friends, on a religious viſit to the monthly and quarterly meetings of Friends in that part of the nation. A meſſenger being ſent to inform us of her illneſs, I went to her; and was favoured to find her ſo ſenſible as to inform me that ſhe was very eaſy in mind: ſoon after which ſhe grew delirious, and her ſenſes were never more quite clear; yet ſhe once intimated that ſhe was quiet, and hoped ſhe had a quiet habitation.

She was a truly valuable woman, and doubtleſs her ſpirit entered into reſt. She died at the age of forty-five, after a life attended with various trials. The loſs to her family, her other relations, friends, and neighbours, was great; and the ſorrow for it amongſt all who were acquainted with her was general: yet under a ſenſe that our loſs was her great gain, it was mixed with joy in the hearts of her neareſt relations and friends.

She left three children, and her ſorrowful and very affectionate huſband; who, after he had information of her dangerous ſtate, travelled hard to get home, but did not reach it until after her corps was interred. My brother ſtaid at Leominſter until he came thither, and I returned home to my dear mother, and my ſiſter's eldeſt daughter, who was then at Dudley, a thoughtful child of about eleven years of age, who had a very great affection for her mother. I found them full as well as I expected, conſidering my mother's great love for my ſiſter, who had been an extraordinary child to her; ſteadily ſympathizing with, and aſſiſting her in her afflictions, when ſhe had no other child that was ſo capable of doing it. But ſhe was favoured with ſignal reſignation to the Divine will, which is doubtleſs right in taking away, as well as in giving.

My ſpirits had been ſupported beyond my expectation through this trial, although my health appeared ſhaken by the fatigue attending it; yet in leſs than two weeks, I ſet out for Bloxham to attend my ſiſter Summerfield, who was now my only ſurviving ſiſter. I attended Warwick meeting in my way; and in the evening appointed one for the neighbours, which was large, and crowned with Divine life and power, for which I was truly thankful. After about two weeks ſtay I went for London, having before I left home a certificate to viſit Friends in that city. I had ſeveral meetings in my way thither amongſt people not profeſſing with us, to ſatisfaction.

I ſtaid rather more than a month in London, and through diligent labour, and conſiderable travail of ſpirit, left it eaſy in mind, and returned home by my ſiſter's.

The day I left her houſe the wind was very high. I rode double, and when we came to the high unincloſed field-lands, nearly upon a level with the ſummit of Edge hill, it was ſo extremely boiſterous, that myſelf and the man who rode before me, concluded it ſafeſt to alight; which we did, under ſhelter of a ſhort thorn-hedge, probably planted to afford ſhelter to ſheep. We ſaw a village, but had to croſs the field to it. The man held the horſe by one hand, and I held by his other arm; but the wind was ſo violently ſtrong, that he rather dragged than led me, for I ſtooped very low, being unable to ſtand againſt it. I think it rained alſo while we croſſed the field. We got to a poor houſe of entertainment, the covering of a building belonging to which was ſtripped off a little before we came; and we ſtaid in it, not without fear, until the violence of the wind abated; which it did in the afternoon, and we reached Eatington the ſame night. I think this was the wind of which it was ſaid, that none had been ſo high ſince Eddyſtone light-houſe was blown down; and our getting through it without hurt appeared providential. It was a hurricane in the morning, yet it was tolerably calm in the evening.

I got home the 15th of the Firſt month, 1762, in a better ſtate of health than I left it, and was comforted to find our family tolerably well; and I had great cauſe for thankfulneſs, for the many mercies and preſervations vouchſafed in this journey.

In the ſpring of this year I attended the northern and Welch yearly meetings; the firſt held at Bolton in Lancaſhire, and that for Wales at Bala in Merionethſhire. That at Bolton was very large, and attended by many valuable miniſters and friends, and a great number of ſober inquiring people of other ſocieties; amongſt whom the goſpel-trumpet was ſounded in Divine authority, to the comfort of faithful friends, and, I hope, to the inſtruction and awakening of many ſouls. In my way from Bolton to Bala, in company with my friend Samuel Fothergill, I attended the meeting at Cheſter on the Firſt-day morning; whereto many ſoberly behaved people of the town came, and we were favoured with a comfortable tendering opportunity together. From Cheſter we proceeded to Bala, in company with Iſabella Middleton, a miniſtering friend from Ireland, and overtook Rachel Wilſon and Chriſtiana Hird, before we got thither.

The meeting at Bala was large, conſidering the part of the country it was held in: the people behaved ſoberly, and many of them were affected by the heart-tendering power of Truth. We had a comfortable opportunity with a few that came in love to bid us farewel; and left the place, in full aſſurance of the extendings of Divine love to the inhabitants of this poor part of the nation, and thankfulneſs that we were accounted worthy to preach the goſpel to them. I returned home by Coalbrookdale, and on the Firſt-day was at a very large meeting at the New Dale, wherein the Lord's power was exalted: bleſſed be his name for ever!

I reached home the 4th of the Fifth month, and found my mother and brother well as uſual, but my brother Henry (my father's ſon by a former wife) unwell, with a diſorder in his right leg; which terminated in a mortification, and in ſomething more than eight weeks his leg was taken off. Our affliction through this circumſtance was conſiderable; for beſides the care for his natural life, which was imminently in danger, our concern for his immortal ſoul was great. For having addicted himſelf to pleaſure and to the gratification of his natural appetites, he had loſt the ſimplicity of his education; and, becauſe he would indulge himſelf in liberties which he knew were inconſiſtent with the profeſſion of Truth, he threw it off; ſaying, he would not retain the name and be a reproach to the people. He ſometimes went to the church of England, not, as he ſaid, from principle, but becauſe he would go ſomewhere. When a youth, he was much humbled under the viſitation of Divine love; but when he arrived to mature age, he was drawn aſide by vain company.

In this affliction he was favoured with a renewed viſitation of heavenly favour; under which he lamented his loſs and fall, and remarked that it had been through keeping company, and not that which is accounted the worſt of company neither. He had a long time allowed him to repent, and in the fore part of his illneſs was penitent and much exerciſed in mind; but being flattered with the hopes of life after his leg was cut off, his thoughts appeared then to be too much occupied with its proſpects, although not without ſome propoſition of a reformation of conduct, if his health ſhould be reſtored.

In this ſituation I was obliged to leave him, being engaged to attend the Circular yearly meeting, which was held this year at Exeter. My ſiſter ſupplied my place in the family, and I went pretty directly to it, attending the quarterly meeting at Glouceſter, and two other meetings, in my way, the Lord's power accompanying me.

The meeting at Exeter was much leſs than ſome of the like kind had been; but was attended by ſome ſober people, and by ſome high profeſſors of religion, whoſe foundations were ſtruck at in the power of Truth, the teſtimony whereof was meaſurably exalted. The ſtate of the members of our own ſociety was miniſtered to; in ſome inſtances it was lamentable, and tended greatly to leſſen the weight of the teſtimony of Truth, which had been at this time borne in the demonſtration of its own ſpirit.

I proceeded from Exeter to the quarterly meeting in Somerſetſhire, which was eminently crowned with Divine favour; and I parted from Friends there in the comfortable ſenſe of goſpel fellowſhip, and returned to Briſtol, having ſeveral large and ſatisfactory meetings in the way thither.

I ſpent a few days in Briſtol, I hope profitably, having a renewed cauſe to believe that the Divine life was revived in ſome in that city, although too many had fallen aſleep as in the lap of this world.

From Briſtol I went to the quarterly meeting for Herefordſhire, held at Roſs, and ſo to Leominſter; where I ſpent more than a week in my brother Young's family, not idly, but caring for it; and returned home to the mutual ſatisfaction of myſelf and my relations there.

I found my dear mother and brother tolerably well, and my poor brother Henry appeared in ſome reſpects better, yet at times ſo languid, that I doubted his continuing long in time. My fears proved well founded, for his deplorable diſorder ſeized his other foot, and on the 15th of the Twelfth month, 1762, he died; having endured a long ſcene of inexpreſſible pain and affliction. Agreeably to his own deſire, his corps was interred in Friends' burying ground. He was endowed with a good underſtanding and an engaging natural diſpoſition, and his perſon and manners were ſuperior to many. He was in his fifty-ſeventh year.

I think it worthy commemoration, that ſome time before he was ſeized with the diſorder which terminated his life, I had been earneſtly ſolicitous that the Lord would bring him to a ſenſe of his apoſtatized ſtate before he was taken out of time; and conſtrain him to condemn that libertine ſpirit wherein he had ſo long indulged; that his aſſociates might not have cauſe ſo to triumph as to invalidate the Chriſtian teſtimonies. Theſe my deſires were ſignally anſwered.

CHAP. VIII.

FROM the occurrences related in the cloſe of the foregoing Chapter, until after I entered into a marriage ſtate, I made no minutes of my religious labours, although I was as conſtantly engaged as heretofore, in attending yearly and quarterly meetings, &c. in divers parts of the nation, viſiting particular meetings of Friends, as well as appointing ſome for people of other ſocieties; and in the winters, I moſtly ſpent ſome time in London. Yet ſo few remarkable incidents occurred, that, my movements appeared ſcarcely worth noting; except that the Lord's hand was revealed for my help and preſervation, through which I was enabled to ſuſtain almoſt uninterrupted, though varied, fatigue and exerciſe, both of body and mind. After my ſiſter Ann's marriage, a load of domeſtick concerns devolved upon me. Through my mother's very great age, and my brother's frequent indiſpoſition, my times of reſpite from travelling and goſpel-labours were far from being ſeaſons of reſt. A ſhort time before I married, my left elbow was diſlocated by a fall down ſtairs, and reduced with conſiderable difficulty. As that joint from my infancy had been weak, and had ſeveral times been hurt by falls from my horſe, as is before related, it became from this time ſo weak, as to render my riding ſingle improper, and riding double was rather dangerous, as I could not help myſelf on horſe-back without my arm; I had therefore cauſe to be thankful that my expected new ſtation would furniſh me with a chaiſe.

For the fulfilling of every purpoſe of Divine wiſdom there is a particular ſeaſon; and although I married rather late in life, the connection from its beginning was attended with ſuch ſingular circumſtances, as marked its being ſuperior to nature, although nature had its ſhare in it; and the reſtrictions laid upon my mind, and that of my beloved huſband, were too remarkable to be omitted in the memoirs of the ſignally providential occurrences of my life.

I have already noted the meeting with William Phillips in 1749, at Swanſea, (ſee page 24). Before that time we were entire ſtrangers to each other, I do not recollect that I had ever heard of him. My mind had been, and was under ſtrong reſtrictions in regard to entering into the marriage ſtate, ſhould I be ſolicited thereto; for as it appeared that for a ſeries of years I ſhould be much engaged in travelling for the ſervice of Truth, I feared to indulge thoughts of forming a connection, which, from its incumbrances, might tend to fruſtrate the intention of Divine wiſdom reſpecting me. This caution tended to keep me reſerved in my conduct, towards ſuch as might be likely to entertain views beyond friendſhip, in their acquaintance with me; and my mind, to the time of our meeting, had been ſo preſerved, as never to admit the leaſt impreſſion of affection beyond that ſine, with any one.

William Phillips was then a widower, and had two young children. His worldly circumſtances I was unacquainted with, further than that I then learned the place of his reſidence, and ſomewhat of his buſineſs, which was, in part, that of an agent to a copper-company. He was conſiderably older than myſelf. So that none of theſe circumſtances could of themſelves make a connection with him deſirable. For as to his employ, which might ſeem the leaſt exceptionable, it was leſs pleaſing to me than would have been his being his own free man. It was therefore improbable that temporal conſiderations ſhould bias my mind in his favour; and as to his religious experience, it appeared to be but in its infancy. He had indeed, a frank and open diſpoſition, which, joined to a good underſtanding, rendered his converſation agreeable; but I had but little opportunity to judge of this, before it appeared that perhaps we might one day unite in the marriage covenant.

Upon obſerving him ſtrictly, I had the ſatisfaction to ſee that his mind was ſuſceptible of the beſt impreſſions, and bending out of the world, wherein, in ſome parts of his conduct, he had taken too great a part. His behaviour to me was prudently reſtricted, though he afterwards confeſſed that his mind was affectionately diſpoſed towards me. We were favoured together, eſpecially in one meeting, with the uniting influence of Divine love, but parted merely as common friends. Very ſoon after, a circumſtance happened, which, without the leaſt deſign on either ſide, neceſſarily introduced a correſpondence by letters between us; and we exchanged ſeveral in reſtricted terms, ſuited to our ſituations.

In my next journey to the weſtern counties, I had meetings in ſome towns where none were eſtabliſhed, particularly at Redruth and Truro in Cornwall, at both of which William Phillips was very ſerviceable; and his ſpirit being dipped into ſympathy with me in my ſervice, and mine, with him under his religious exerciſes, it tended to ſtrengthen the regard we had for each other; yet ſuch was the reſtriction we were preſerved under, that no ſentiment tranſpired, nor was there any, the leaſt part of his conduct, more than was conſiſtent with a diſtinguiſhed friendſhip: and thus we again parted, and continued our religious correſpondence. But my mind becoming doubtful whether I had ſuch an evidence that our intimacy would ever riſe higher than friendſhip, as to warrant my retaining the proſpect of it; and ruminating upon the injurious conſequences which might enſue to us both, ſhould our affections be engaged contrary to the Divine will; and that, perhaps, the continuing an intimacy with me might prevent his mind from ſettling upon ſome other perſon, who might be a ſuitable companion for him through life; and ſeeing clearly, that my religious proſpects would not for a long time admit of my changing my ſituation; I concluded it ſafeſt to relinquiſh our correſpondence, and to leave the event of the foundation of affection which was laid, to future time: hoping, that if Divine wiſdom deſigned a nearer union betwixt us, he would prepare my friend to be a ſuitable helpmate for me. My fear of erring on this occaſion was proportioned to that ſuperior love, which bound me to the ſervice appointed me; in the purſuit whereof, I was deſirous to relinquiſh every proſpect and connection which might retard my fulfilling it: and I continued cloſely engaged in it for many years, and kept an entire diſtance from my friend.

In this time our minds became ſo releaſed from each other, as to be at liberty to entertain other proſpects of marriage; and but for the interpoſition of a watchful Providence, we might each of us have been engaged to our hurt. But however promiſing the proſpect might be to my mind, I never was favoured with true peace, in looking to a marriage connection with any other; and as to my friend, although he had entirely loſt the hope of a nearer union with me, however thoughtful he might be reſpecting its being convenient for him to change his ſituation, he did not find freedom to propoſe it to any other woman. Thus we continued ſeparated, and ſeparately exerciſed; I in cloſe application to publick ſervice; and he in his worldly engagements, and under various temptations and conflicts, inwardly and outwardly, which called for the ſympathy of a friend; when none was afforded, ſave that of the never-failing Helper, by whoſe hand his head was ſuſtained, and he witneſſed preſervation even as from the paw of the lion and bear.

In the year 1766, I attended the Circular meeting, and viſited moſt of the meetings of Friends in Cornwall. Previouſly to my taking that journey, I had an intimation in my mind, which ſeemed to point towards a revival of our intimacy. This happened at a time when I was quite free from impreſſions of natural affection towards W. Phillips; for I was deeply engaged in thoughtfulneſs reſpecting another friend, and humbly and earneſtly deſirous to be informed whether I might ſafely remove to the place of his reſidence.

Under this exerciſe, my mind was turned with uncommon force to Cornwall; and the name of the place where W. Phillips reſided was revived with ſuch ſtrength, that it was as if vocally ſpoken in my ſoul. At the ſame time I was favoured with the ſweet ſenſation of Divine love and life. And although the removing to this poor county afforded no pleaſing view, I was willing to ſubmit, if Divine wiſdom appointed it; but as to W. Phillips, I doubted his having advanced in religion, ſo as to render a nearer union with him ſafe; but I could only judge ſuperficially, the exerciſed ſtate of his mind being hid from me.

Hannah Shipley, of Uttoxeter in Staffordſhire, was my companion in this journey, whoſe affectionate attention to me, I remember with gratitude: her ſervice alſo in the miniſtry was acceptable to friends.

When we came into Cornwall, I was cautious of giving heed to the before-mentioned intimation; and when I met W. Phillips, was deſirous to be favoured with a ſenſe of the ſtate of his ſpirit; and was thankful to find it bending towards the ſpring of Divine life, beyond my expectation. We were frequently together, while I was in the county; but never alone, ſo as at all to enter into converſation on the ſubject of our former correſpondence, except when riding on the high road; when, one day, he mentioned the trial it was to him that I ſhould ſo abruptly drop it; and ſaid he had cautiouſly avoided a conduct which might give me umbrage; and added, that he had never admitted a ſentiment of diſpleaſure at me on the occaſion, as he concluded that I had ſome reaſon for ſo doing, which was of ſufficient weight to myſelf: but if my being in a ſingle ſtation were the cauſe, I needed not to have feared him, for although he loved me, hitherto his mind had been under a reſtriction from endeavouring to paſs the bounds of friendſhip. This was ſaying more than he had ever done before; but during his being with me in this journey, his behaviour was ſtrictly conſiſtent with friendſhip only.

One circumſtance I think worthy of relating, as it diſcovered both his ſympathy with my religious engagements, and how Divine wiſdom works to the effecting his own purpoſes. After I left Plymouth, in my way into Cornwall, it appeared that I ſhould have a meeting at Plymouth Dock in my return. This I intimated to a friend of Plymouth then with me, and deſired him to inquire whether a proper place could be procured. This friend, and another from Plymouth, met me at the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Bodmin, at which alſo was W. Phillips.

They gave me no encouragement of getting a meeting at Dock; indeed it was looked upon improbable that a place large enough for the people could be procured there; ſo they propoſed that a meeting ſhould be appointed at Friends meeting-houſe at Plymouth, and that the people of Dock ſhould be invited thereto. This did not ſeem to promiſe relief to my mind; for beſides the Dock's being three miles diſtant, the houſe might probably have been too ſmall for the Plymouth people and them. My concern for the Dock continued, but I ſaid little about it, except hinting it to my brother, who, with divers friends out of Worceſterſhire was at Bodmin. In the night before I left that place it preſſed weightily upon my mind; but I could ſee no way to obtain a meeting, unleſs W. Phillips would accompany me; who I knew had reſolution enough to aſſiſt in the undertaking. He deſigned going homeward the next day, and I was reluctant to propoſe his going with us to Plymouth; but deſired, if my exerciſe for Dock was from the Lord, and it was right for him to aſſiſt me therein, that it might be impreſſed on his mind to go. After this, my ſpirit was relieved, and in the morning I heard W. Phillips ſay to the friends, I muſt go to Plymouth, giving as a reaſon, that he had an uncle there who was unwell. He afterwards told me, this was the only reaſon he could aſſign for his mind being forcibly drawn to Plymouth, which it was before he aroſe; and when at breakfaſt he heard me inquiring whether a place could be procured at Dock to hold a meeting, he ſaw the cauſe of his being drawn to Plymouth, and immediately replied, There is no doubt of it. In our way to Plymouth, we had a large ſatisfactory meeting in the market-houſe at Liſkeard. At Dock, my brother, friends from Worceſterſhire, and W. Phillips, obtained a large ſchool-room; which opened into a ſquare. A window was taken out, and I ſtood in that, ſo as to ſpeak to the people without; and the houſe being full within, I believe all might hear, though there was a great concourſe of people. It was a favoured opportunity, at which the friends who accompanied me for the promoting of it were very ſerviceable; but had not W. Phillips aſſiſted them, it did not appear probable that ſo large a meeting would have been procured, and held ſo quietly: he was peculiarly fitted for ſuch ſervices.

After my return home, our correſpondence by letter revived; but although it ſoon paſſed the bounds of mere friendſhip, our minds were clothed with awful caution of ſtepping forward without Divine direction. For ſome years we ſaw each other but ſeldom, and that only as we met in the courſe of my ſervice; and notwithſtanding a nearer union was from time to time pointed out, yet our way not opening clearly to the accompliſhment of it, we did not marry until the 15th of Seventh month, 1772; when, in a large and ſolemn meeting held at Bewdley, we took each other in the real fear of the Lord, and therein had a ſtrong evidence of his favour. Many of my friends from the adjacent meetings met us upon the occaſion; unto whom my ſpirit was drawn forth in the beſt love; wherein, after we had taken each other in marriage, I was led to adviſe, caution, and encourage them.

The parting from my dear mother had been an affecting circumſtance, but it was a great ſatisfaction to me, that, although her faculties were breaking, ſhe was ſenſible I was removed from her in Divine wiſdom. The morning I left her, ſhe took a quiet ſteady farewel of me, and told me ſhe was ſatisfied Providence had provided for me, unto whoſe will ſhe was reſigned. As my brother propoſed accompanying me home, my ſiſter Sommerfield ſtaid with our mother in his abſence.

After our marriage at Bewdley, we proceeded on our way to my brother Young's at Leominſter, where we ſtaid ſome days, and then went to Swanſea, my brother, and niece A. Young, accompanying us. In our way to Swanſea, we had a meeting at Hereford, and another near Talgarth in Wales, where the Counteſs of Huntingdon had eſtabliſhed a college for the education of young men for the miniſtry. Some of them came to the meeting, and ſeveral behaved rather lightly; but one ſought an opportunity with us afterwards, and freely expreſſed his uneaſineſs in his preſent ſituation, and deſired to get amongſt Friends. He requeſted my huſband's aſſiſtance to procure him a ſuitable place; but though one pretty ſoon offered, and he was informed of it, he declined accepting it. Many are ſhaken by the power of Truth, but few are ſteadily concerned to build upon its foundation: and therefore it may with ſorrow be ſaid, "Many are called, but few choſen." We had alſo a meeting at Llandilo, which, though not very large, was ſatisfactory.

We ſtaid at Swanſea ſome weeks, the wind being contrary for our going down the Channel. During our ſtay there, the Firſt and week-day meetings were moſtly large and favoured. A particular viſitation of Truth was extended to ſome who had gone out from Friends by marriage and otherwiſe, who were affectionately entreated, and warned of their danger in trifling with the day of their viſitation, which was haſtening faſt to a concluſion. Several of theſe were much affected, and two of them ſoon finiſhed their courſe. I have admired the mercy of God, even to the backſliders and revolters from us; from few of whom the witneſs of Truth is ſo withdrawn, but that they will confeſs to it; and many to the latter ſtage of life are followed with cloſe convictions, and tender calls to return to the heavenly Father's houſe, and yet continue in a country far remote from it: having ſo connected themſelves with thoſe who are in the ſpirit of this world, as to conclude it impoſſible to break looſe from them. But, although through inattention to the holy principle of light and grace, they may have rendered their way very difficult, and mingled for themſelves a bitter cup; yet if they would attend to that Divine love which draws them, they would experience its power to releaſe their ſpirits from the power of Satan, and bring them into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

I viſited the families of thoſe profeſſing Truth in Swanſea; but the time for holding the Circular meeting for the weſtern counties approaching, and it being to be held this year in Cornwall, my huſband was earneſt to get home. Another meeting, alſo, which was uſually very large, held annually near his habitation, engaged our attention; therefore, the wind not ſerving for us to go to Cornwall, we croſſed the Channel to lifracomb in Devonſhire, and through Divine favour landed ſafe, though not without ſome danger; and proceeded directly home to Redruth. The Firſt-day after we reached it, we attended the before-mentioned meeting at Key, at which it was ſuppoſed there were 1500 people: it was held without doors, and was a favoured opportunity. The next week came on the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Helſton, was extremely large, and well attended by friends; and in divers meetings the teſtimony of Truth was exalted through ſeveral of the Lord's choſen ſervants. I was largely and livingly opened in his ſervice, by him who alone can qualify for it: to whom I ever deſire to aſcribe the praiſe.

For ſome time after I came home, a pretty many ſerious people attended our meetings, and doctrine ſuitable to their ſtates was opened; but moſt of them were too much under the influence of human teachers to receive the Truth in its ſimplicity, and walk by its light. I quickly found a concern to appoint a meeting at the place called St. Agnes, a town on the north ſea coaſt. Near this place the people were addicted to the barbarous cuſtom of plundering veſſels wrecked upon the coaſt. Abundance of people collected, ſo that we were obliged to hold the meeting in the ſtreet, which was a remarkably quiet ſolemn opportunity. Many of the wreckers were ſuppoſed to be preſent, and I had to reprove the practice very cloſely; which might be ſuppoſed to have preſent effect, for the people exerted themſelves to ſave the cargo of the next veſſel that was wrecked.

In a few weeks after the Circular meeting, I went to the quarterly meeting for Devonſhire, held at Kingſbridge, and thence took a turn into the north of the county, accompanied by William Cookworthy and ſeveral other friends. We appointed meetings in ſeveral places where none were ſettled, in all of which, except at Great Torrington, we had good ſatisfaction; and there we had reaſon to conclude that we appointed the meeting at too late an hour, through condeſcenſion to ſome who expreſſed a deſire to attend it, and could not come ſooner. It was Firſt-day, and the evening coming on, a crowd of diſorderly people impeded the ſervice; and my mind was the more pained, becauſe an earlier hour had been pointed to me for holding the meeting. We had a good meeting in the town-hall at Launceſton, after which William Cookworthy went homewards, and I to Wadebridge. I had a meeting there to ſatisfaction, and returned home, under the perſuaſion of having been engaged in the diſcharge of my duty, and aſſiſted by Divine grace in the performance thereof.

I ſtaid at and about home until near the time of the yearly meeting at Briſtol, 1773, which I attended; and thence, accompanied by my dear friend Lydia Hawkſworth, went to that in London. We viſited the meeting of Friends in Hampſhire in our way, and I returned into Cornwall to our quarterly meeting held at Looe in the Seventh month; where my huſband met me, and we went together to that for Devonſhire, held at Plymouth.

The annual meeting at Key was this year large and ſatisfactory; after which I went to viſit my aged parent and other relations, and attend the Circular yearly meeting at Glouceſter. I viſited the meetings of Friends, as I went along, who were truly glad to ſee me, and we were favoured together with the ſweet influence of Divine love and life. The Circular yearly meeting was very large both of Friends and other profeſſors of religion, and was much favoured through the miniſtry. The ſelect meeting for Friends was a memorable opportunity. Plentiful are the ſhowers of goſpel rain which often fall upon theſe occaſions; but in regard to many minds viſited, it is like water ſpilled upon a ſtone, which, though it wet its ſurface, doth not change its nature; but in others, I hope it is like "Bread caſt upon the waters," a very unſtable element, yet it "may return after many days!"

From this meeting I returned home with my friend Sarah Tregelles. In my way I had two large meetings at South Molton to good ſatisfaction. There are none profeſſing with us in that town; but ſome friends from Exeter accompanied us, and others under convincement from the north of Devonſhire met us here. I returned home to our quarterly meeting at Penzance, and was thankfully received by my dear huſband, whoſe great affection rendered it hard for him to be ſo frequently ſeparated from me, but in reſignation to the Divine will he was favoured with peace.

In the Firſt month 1774, I had a ſatisfactory meeting at Helſton, in the town-hall. The weather was wet, and the ſeat whereon I ſat was very damp, but on the evening after the meeting I did not find I had taken any cold. Next morning I was well as uſual, but ſuddenly, I found myſelf much indiſpoſed, and was ſeized with convulſions in my head. This alarmed my huſband, who called upon an apothecary, and I quickly got better, and we went home, where the diſorder returned. In a few days however I appeared to be much better, but I quickly relapſed; and in a few weeks was reduced to a ſtate of extreme weakneſs. My affliction in this time of indiſpoſition was very great, but I was preſerved in patience, and when I revived a little, wrote as follows.

'I am now reviving from bodily weakneſs. O! that it may be with renewed ſtrength to ſerve the bounteous Author of my being and bleſſings, who bringeth low and raiſeth up in his wiſdom and mercy. He knows when afflictions are needful to his ſervants; and in this ſeaſon of weakneſs, my ſoul has thankfully acknowledged his tender care, to prevent my ſpirit's ſettling with too great attention on the things which are ſeen, and which are temporal. We often want to be awakened to ſeek with greater earneſtneſs thoſe things which are eternal, viz. Righteouſneſs, and its conſequence, Divine favour; by being put in remembrance, that the time of our departure hence may be at hand. "Bleſſed" indeed is that ſervant who, when his Lord cometh and calleth from works to rewards "he ſhall find watching:" and what great need is there to watch againſt the encroaching ſpirit of this world; whereby many quickened, enlightened minds have been benumbed and darkened; and their deſires after the food which nouriſheth up the ſoul unto everlaſting life, weakened; until at length they have left the Lord's table, and fed with pleaſure at the table of idols! The friendſhips of this world, which are enmity with God, have been delighted and gloried in, and its intereſts principally ſought.

Theſe, though they may appear orderly in the view of men, are in danger of becoming as "trees twice dead;" they having been dead in a ſtate of nature, and quickened by Divine grace. If theſe totally fall away from their ſpiritual exerciſe, how ſhall they be again renewed? Alas! the judgment is determined; they muſt be plucked out of the Lord's plantation, wherein only living fruit-bearing trees can remain with acceptance.'

'In this time of weakneſs my ſpirit hath been renewedly viſited, and my underſtanding opened in Divine love and light: and therefore it reſts with me to commemorate it, as a freſh inſtance of the love of my heavenly Father; who, in all the diſpenſations of his wiſdom to his children, ſeeks their being perfected in righteouſneſs; that he may more and more bleſs them with his favour whilſt here, and finally receive them into everlaſting manſions of bliſs.'

But although I grew ſo much better as to get about in the ſpring, my conſtitution ſtill laboured under a heavy load, without hope of being entirely relieved; and I was therefore frequently led to pray for patience and reſignation to ſuffer in the way Divine wiſdom might permit; and, under great weakneſs, was enabled in a degree to come up in the ſervice appointed me, in our little meeting and about home. I was reduced ſo extremely low by this indiſpoſition, as to be doubtful, whether I could have ſurvived it, had I not been removed from my mother's family; as in that, conſidering her ſituation, and my brother's, it was unlikely I ſhould have been ſo releaſed from care, and ſo tenderly and affectionately attended to, as by my dear huſband, and the aſſiſtance he procured for me.

In the Seventh month I left home in order to attend the Circular yearly meeting and once more viſit my aged and honourable parent, who had ſeveral times expreſſed a deſire to ſee me. My huſband accompanied me to Torrington, where we had a meeting of friends ſcattered round in that neighbourhood. From Torrington he went to Appledore, and croſſed the Channel into Wales, and I proceeded to Briſtol; where, and in its neighbourhood, I ſtaid until my huſband's buſineſs admitted his coming to me; and thence we proceeded to Dudley, viſiting the meetings of Stourbridge and Worceſter in our way. I found my dear mother extremely weak, and her faculties ſo impaired that ſhe did not know me; yet I thought ſhe was ſenſible I was one for whom ſhe had a great affection; and after ſeeing me ſeveral times ſhe recollected me, and was much pleaſed with my company. After I had taken my leave of her, ſhe ſaid, 'Now I ſhall not be here long;' and ſo it proved, for ſhe died in the following winter. [See a more particular account of her in the former part of theſe memoirs.]

From Dudley we proceeded to the Circular yearly meeting held at Kington, Herefordſhire, which, conſidering the country not being ſo populous as ſome others, and but few friends in the neighbourhood, was large, and for the moſt part ſatisfactory. I ſtill continued in a weak ſtate, yet was enabled to take a ſhare in the ſervice, Divine mercy ſtrengthening beyond my expectation. After this meeting we went to Bath, Dr. Fothergill having adviſed me to drink the waters.

In the ſpring of 1775 I viſited ſome meetings in Devonſhire, Somerſetſhire, and Dorſetſhire, in my way to the yearly meeting at London. Lydia Hawkſworth accompanied me in ſome part of the journey. Such was my ſtate of bodily weakneſs, that my getting along, and being enabled to go through with the ſervice aſſigned, claimed my admiration and thankfulneſs. I attended the meetings in London with conſiderable diligence, though very unwell, got out of town as ſoon as I could, and, accompanied by Lydia Hawkſworth, went to her mother's, Deborah Waring, at Alton; where I reſted a few days, and then proceeded to the quarterly meetings for Hampſhire and Dorſetſhire held at Ringwood and Poole; and ſo to our quarterly meeting at Looe. Here I met my dear huſband, to our mutual rejoicing, although my languid ſtate affected him painfully. From Looe we returned home, and through Divine favour I ſo gathered ſtrength, as that in the Eighth Month I again left home, accompanied by my huſband, intending to go through Wales to the Circular yearly meeting. I had ſeveral meetings in our own county and Devonſhire to good ſatisfaction, and we croſſed the Channel from Appledore to Swanſea.

A circumſtance happened at Appledore worthy of obſervation. Some ſober people of that place were deſirous of a meeting; but I was reſtrained from having one ſo publick as was wiſhed, yet was quite free to ſit down in a friendly woman's houſe, with ſuch as ſhe might think proper to invite. The meeting was held in an upper room the window of which fronted the river. A number of ſerious people came, and I had a favoured opportunity amongſt them. Immediately as I ſat down, one of the perſons preſent ſtepped to me, and told me, the veſſel we had wiſhed to go in was getting under ſail. This was unexpected intelligence, as we were informed ſhe would not ſail that tide, and had not taken our paſſage in her. Had we held our meeting in another place, ſhe had probably ſlipped away without our knowledge; as her ſailing was perceived by the before-mentioned perſon in the meeting from the window. As I was now free to go, I took a glaſs of wine, and immediately went out at the back-door, into a boat, and on board. My huſband went to the inn, and reached the ſhip, with our clothes, in a boat, before ſhe got over the bar. We had a good paſſage; but had we miſſed this opportunity, we ſhould have ſuffered much in coming in a ſloop the next day, as the weather changed to wet and ſtormy. This is one of the many inſtances of providential direction I have experienced.

We ſtaid at and about Swanſea about two weeks; and thence proceeded to Leominſter, Worceſter, and Dudley. From Dudley, after ſpending a ſhort time with my brother, we went to the Circular yearly meeting held at Coleſhill, Warwickſhire; which was large and Divinely favoured. From Coleſhill we went through Coventry to Warwick, ſpent a little time with my ſiſter, who, with her huſband and ſon, were now ſettled there; and thence we went through Eveſham, Painſwick, &c. home, where we arrived in ſafety.

In this winter a concern reſted upon my mind once more to viſit Friends in Ireland; and, in my way to that kingdom, to attend the quarterly meetings at York, Lancaſter, and Weſtmoreland, and the yearly meeting for the four northern counties to be held at Keſwick. My beloved friend Lydia Hawkſworth was given up to accompany me, and we accordingly prepared for the journey; and in Firſt month 1776 my huſband accompanied me to Briſtol. The weather was extremely cold, and the ſnow ſo deep that the roads in Devonſhire, and thence to Briſtol, had been impaſſable, and were then dangerous; but through Divine favour we got along ſafe, although the cold was ſo extreme that it was hard to bear. The road in ſome places was cut through the ſnow, ſo that it looked like paſſing through a deep hollow way, which had a very ſtriking appearance. At Briſtol, my dear huſband left me, to go to Swanſea, where he arrived ſafe, although the Severn at the New Paſſage, where it is three miles over, was ſo full of ice as to render croſſing dangerous.

Juſt at this juncture, my companion's mother died, and ſhe went to attend her funeral. I ſtaid over Firſt-day at Briſtol meetings, and proceeded, through ſome meetings in Glouceſterſhire, &c. to Dudley, where my ſiſter met me. We ſpent ſome time together with my brother, and I went to Birmingham, where I was met by my companion, and we proceeded on our journey. Our firſt meeting was held in the town hall at Stafford, which was large, ſolemn, and ſatisfactory. From thence we went to Leek, and paſſed, through ſeveral meetings in Cheſhire and Lancaſhire, to Sheffield, and ſo, through many meetings in Yorkſhire, to the quarterly meeting at York. After the meeting at York I was concerned to have one at Tadcaſter, where there was no Friend's meeting-houſe; and another near Harwood, which was very ſatisfactory; and another, on the Firſt-day, at Otley, which was large, and I hope ſerviceable. Thence we went, through ſeveral meetings, to Lancaſter, attended the quarterly meeting there, afterwards to Weſtmoreland quarterly meeting held at Kendal, thence to the yearly meeting at Keſwick, and ſo to Cockermouth and Whitehaven. We had travelled from Birmingham in ſixty-two days, 500 miles, and attended ſixty-ſix meetings; and as much of the ſervice of meetings lay upon me, my natural ſtrength was greatly exhauſted before I embarked for Ireland: but I had abundant cauſe to acknowledge that Divine aid was from time to time diſpenſed; by which I was enabled to preſs forward, though under very painful feelings.

We went on board a large veſſel at White-haven on the 21ſt of the Fourth month, and landed at Dublin the 25th. Our paſſage was not without danger. One night a veſſel run ſo near ours, that they became entangled in their rigging. The captain and ſailors were much alarmed, but we got clear. How imprudent it is for veſſels not to hang out their lights. As our preſervation was great, it claimed our deep thankfulneſs: a very little more, and probably one of the veſſels had ſunk, and the other might have been much damaged. Another night we lay at anchor near the Iſle of Man, and had reaſon to conclude ourſelves in ſhallow water upon a ſandbank. Had the wind blown up freſh, it might probably have been of bad conſequence.

Our captain had not been accuſtomed to navigate the Iriſh Channel: and when we drew near Dublin Bar, appeared regardleſs of the danger of croſſing it, wiſhing to get into port without a pilot, although the wind was rough. A pilot, however, eſpying us, came on board, and took the veſſel ſafe in; but the tide was ſo far ſpent, that ſhe threw up the mud with her keel, as we paſſed the bank called the Great Bull.

We arrived at Dublin a few days before the national half-year's meeting began. This allowed us time to attend ſeveral meetings with the friends of that city; wherein the ſpring of miniſtry was livingly opened to the ſtates of many profeſſors amongſt us: and although I had to lament the ſtript ſtate of that city, through the removal of uſeful members, and the weakneſs of many who remained in the ſociety; yet was there cauſe for thankfulneſs, in feeling the freſh extending of the Divine viſitation to them. The half-year's meeting was large, and ſignally favoured with an awakening ſearching viſitation; and I was ſo helped therein, that many of my friends, who had been with me in former ſervices in that nation, rejoiced that the heavenly Maſter had again ſent me to ſee how they fared.

I write theſe remarks in reverence and thankfulneſs to the Great putter forth, and qualifier for the ſervices he appoints; who, to keep the minds of thoſe whom he favours humble, permits them to be tried with hidden exerciſes. This was my caſe through the courſe of this journey, wherein the ſpring of goſpel-miniſtry was largely opened; and I often appeared to my friends as well clothed with a royal robe, though, underneath, I was girded as with ſackcloth.

From Dublin, we proceeded to viſit the meetings through the main body of Friends in Leinſter province, to that of Ulſter; wherein we viſited all the meetings, except two or three very ſmall ones, the friends belonging to which we deſired to meet us at another meeting.

We attended the quarterly meetings in both provinces, and returned back to Dublin the 2d of the Seventh month, where we ſtaid until the 12th: in which time we attended meetings either for worſhip or diſcipline almoſt every day; and Divine condeſcenſion in opening freſh matter, ſuited to the ſeveral occaſions, was ſo admirable, that it appeared as if every ſtate and office in the ſociety were miniſtered to.

By this time my natural ſtrength was much exhauſted; yet we preſſed on through the counties of Wicklow and Wexford, and were at a province meeting at Enniſcorthy, which was very large and crowned with ſolemnity. Here we took leave of friends of that province, and proceeded to that of Munſter, wherein there are but few meetings, but the diſtances moſtly long. My reduced ſtate rendered it hard getting along; yet I was enabled to viſit all the meetings, except a ſmall one at Bandon, and favoured to diſcharge my duty therein; although my voice was ſometimes ſo weak, that it was with extreme difficulty I exerted it to ſpeak ſo as to be underſtood. When we came to Clonmell, and had attended the meeting there, it ſeemed proper for us to retire to the houſe of our friend John Grubb about two miles out of the town; whither I went the 8th of the Eighth month, and ſtaid until the 14th, being much indiſpoſed. Here I was affectionately received and attended, and the quarterly meeting for the province being held at Clonmell during my ſtay there, many friends came to ſee me, and we were favoured together. I was enabled to ſpeak beyond my expectation, to the comfort and encouragement of ſome, and caution of others, and took a ſolemn farewel of them in the love of Truth.

The 14th, we went to Waterford, but I continued ſo much indiſpoſed, that it appeared beſt to go into the country; ſo we retired to a village called Tramore, by the ſea-ſide. Here we ſtaid from the 15th of the Eighth month, till the 9th of the Ninth month. My indiſpoſition continued and reduced me very low; but, bleſſed be the Lord, his hand ſuſtained me, and through all, my ſpirit was at times ſet at liberty in his ſervice to the admiration of myſelf and friends; many of whom from Waterford came to us there, and we had divers ſeaſonable opportunities with them, as well as with ſome who were at the place to bathe in the ſea. My nerves being extremely weak, I was alſo adviſed to bathe, by the doctor who attended me, but I believe it had rather a bad effect. We had not ſtaid at Tramore ſo long, had there been a ſuitable veſſel at Waterford, ready to ſail for England. On our return thither, we had two meetings with Friends in a large parlour, at the houſe of our friend Iſaac Jacobs, my voice not being equal to a meeting in the meeting-houſe. Thus we viſited Friends in that city pretty generally, and the 12th embarked on board a veſſel bound for Minehead. Our friend Robert Grubb, of Clonmell, accompanied us, being, in ſympathy with us, inclined thereto; which we accepted as a favour from Providence.

Our paſſage was eaſy as to wind; but my great indiſpoſition, and my companion's extreme ſea-ſickneſs ſeemed to render ſuch an aſſiſtant neceſſary, and he was very attentive and ſerviceable to us. When we came near our deſired port, the wind turned againſt us and the weather became rough. However, the captain got over the bar juſt in time, for had we been but one hour later, we muſt have been driven back to ſea, if not to Waterford: we landed at Minehead the 14th. There is only Robert Davies's family of our ſociety in that town. He was from home, but one of his children met us upon the beach, from whence it was a long walk to his houſe. When we came into the ſtreet, we ſaw an empty cart going up it, and aſked the carter to carry us to our friend's, which he readily did. My dear huſband met us here, to our mutual ſatisfaction; though to receive me back in ſo weak a ſtate was affecting to him. The 15th was Firſt-day, but I did not attend the meeting at the meeting-houſe, but had an opportunity in the afternoon with the friends belonging to it, in our friend's parlour.

The 16th, we left Minehead, and travelled homewards by eaſy ſtages, my dear companion accompanying me to the verge of our county, whence ſhe turned to the Circular yearly meeting held at Bridgewater. She was indeed a moſt tender affectionate companion, and a deep travailer in ſpirit, both in meetings and private opportunities: and although her public ſervice in this journey was not large, it was very acceptable; and her private labours in many families were ſignally under that heavenly anointing, from which ſhe was concerned to miniſter. I hoped to have been able to attend the Circular yearly meeting, and preſſed forward in Ireland, in the fore part of this journey, in order to get to England in time; but after our return from the north to Dublin, it was much impreſſed upon my mind, that I ſhould have but juſt ſtrength to accompliſh the ſervice in that nation, and ſo it proved.

I had travelled in this journey in England and Ireland, about 2000 Engliſh miles, and attended 192 meetings, beſides family opportunities, and viſiting the ſick. Sometimes we had ſeveral private meetings of this kind in one day, and ſeldom were without one, at leaſt.

After my return home, I continued much indiſpoſed, and my nerves ſo irritable that I had continual ſpaſms for a conſiderable time; and my dear brother James Payton came to viſit me, and, becoming very unwell, was detained the winter. As I gathered ſtrength, I was enabled to attend upon little ſervices about home; and my friend Lydia Hawkſworth coming to ſee me, we viſited the families of friends in Falmouth and Marazion monthly meetings, except one or two of each, whom I afterwards ſaw: in this ſervice the Lord was with us of a truth. Soon after Lydia Hawkſworth left me, Sarah Stevenſon came to viſit Friends in this county; in company with whom, I viſited moſt of the families belonging to Auſtle monthly meeting, to our mutual ſatisfaction; my dear huſband accompanying us in this ſervice.

Until the Seventh month in this year 1777, I had not been out of Cornwall ſince my return from Ireland in the Ninth month 1776, which was the longeſt period I remember to have been confined within the limits of one county, ſince my firſt journey in the ſervice of Truth into Wales, in the year 1749. I do not mention this as thinking much of my ſervices; for although it has been my lot to be more conſtantly employed than many others of my fellow-labourers, I can truly ſay, I frequently look upon myſelf as an unprofitable ſervant; and when laid by a little, have to ruminate upon my many weakneſſes; under a ſenſe whereof I feelingly acknowledge that what I am, that is acceptable to the Lord, or honourable in his houſe, I am through his grace; and I often admire at his making choice of, and employing me ſo much in his ſervice.

In the Seventh month this year, in company with my dear huſband, I went to Swanſea, his buſineſs, and to viſit his mother, calling him thither. In our way we had a meeting with Friends in the north of Devonſhire; but being yet very weak, I was eaſy to paſs along without engaging much in public ſervice. We had a good meeting at Appledore with ſome ſerious people, and croſſed the Channel to Swanſea, where we ſtaid about two weeks, and proceeded to Briſtol.

In our way between Newport and the New Paſſage (which we intended to croſs), we received information that the Paſſage-houſe was ſo full of people that there was no probability of our getting a lodging there; ſo my huſband intended going forward to Chepſtow, though neither of us liked the proſpect of croſſing at the Old Paſſage; but our minds, eſpecially mine, not being eaſy to proceed thither, we ſtopped at a ſmall inn about two miles from the New Paſſage, and got a comfortable lodging, and next morning proceeded to the New Paſſage. We got ſafe over the Channel, although the wind was ſqually; but the ſame tide, the boat from the Old Paſſage was loſt, even while we were on the water, and ſeveral men, with many oxen, drowned. Had we gone to Chepſtow we ſhould moſt probably have been in her. Thus kind Providence ſignally preſerved us.

After about a week's ſtay at Briſtol, and viſiting Frenchay meeting, we went to Worceſter, ſo to Bromſgrove and Dudley. I was ſtill in a very weak ſtate, yet enabled to attend meetings, and labour in them to the comfort of my friends and my own peace; although at times in great bodily pain. My ſiſter met me at Dudley, and we were glad to ſee each other. From Dudley we proceeded to the Circular yearly meeting held this year at Bewdley; and in our way we had a meeting with Friends at Stourbridge, wherein my weakneſs was ſuch, that I could hardly impart what preſſed upon my mind ſo as to be heard. I was diſcouraged from looking towards the ſolemnity at Bewdley, with expectation of being able to take much part in the public ſervice; but was deſirous to be aſſiſted to labour in ſpirit for the help of my brethren and ſiſters engaged therein. On the Seventh-day evening, the meeting for miniſters and elders was held, wherein I had ſomething to impart, but in ſo low a voice as painfully to affect my friends; who might reaſonably conclude it probable that my ſtrength was ſo exhauſted, as that I ſhould not long be capable of publick labour in the church; and indeed my own feelings of general weakneſs coincided with that apprehenſion; but in the courſe of the publick meetings the Lord's power was wonderfully manifeſted, in ſtrengthening me for ſervice, to the admiration of all who ſaw my extreme weakneſs, and my own alſo. Indeed with humble gratitude I may acknowledge that it appeared miraculous; for I do not know whether I was ever able to ſpeak with greater ſtrength of voice and ſentiment, than in the laſt meeting; ſo that although the booth was very large and crowded, I believe all might hear: and to the praiſe of the Great Name be it commemorated that his power was ſignally over the meeting.

This extraordinary manifeſtation of favour tended to ſtrengthen my mind, which for a long time had been ſorely exerciſed with many fears, inſomuch that my ſpirit was weary in the conflict, and ready to hope for death rather than life. Yet was I ſecretly ſuſtained ſo as to preſs forward, and moſtly to preſerve a cheerful countenance, ſo that my friends could not perceive how my ſpirit was exerciſed and abaſed in the ſenſe of infirmities, even when I was evidently clothed for ſervice. Thus it hath pleaſed Divine wiſdom to permit me to be tried in my paſſing along from youth to advanced age: doubtleſs for ſome good end, and I deſire thankfully to commemorate his gracious and wiſe dealings with me, in humble hope that finally all will work together for good; when, having filled up my meaſure of ſufferings, I may be accepted in and through his beloved Son. It is not for us to query why theſe afflicting diſpenſations are appointed, but patiently to endeavour to wade through them. We may be certain they will tend to humble our ſpirits and prepare for ſervice, as my ſoul hath many times experienced; and therefore can pray, that I may be paſſive in regard to the dealings of the Lord with me, who beſt knows what is neceſſary to effect the glorious purpoſe he has in view, viz. the thorough ſanctification of my ſpirit, and reducing it into "the obedience of Chriſt:" concerning whom it is written Although he was a ſon, yet learned he obedience by the things which he ſuffered; and if ſo, his ſervants can expect no other.

I have ſometimes conſidered what that ſuffering of Chriſt was, whereby he learned obedience; ſeeing that he could not ſuffer for diſobedience, being in all things ſubject to the will of his Father. But as man he was made like unto us, and had the ſame feelings as have the members of his myſtical body; and although he was never overcome of the enemy, was liable to be aſſaulted by him. He had to bear the contradiction of ſinners againſt himſelf; and, no doubt, in the courſe of his miniſtry felt the oppreſſive weight of contrary and wicked ſpirits, as the members of his church now do in their meaſure.

As man, we may ſuppoſe that he had the ſame reluctance to pain and inſult as we have; but in ſubmiſſion to his Father's will, did and ſuffered what he in wiſdom and mercy to mankind appointed him. His followers alſo muſt thus "be made conformable to his death," if they have part with him in his reſurrection unto glory. And although ſome of them may be left in ſeaſons of extreme conflict, as he was, the moſt extreme, without the ſenſible feeling of the Divine preſence; yet that power which appoints their ſuffering, ſecretly ſuſtains under it; and when they have filled up their meaſure of ſuffering for his body's ſake, which is his Church, with all other afflictions attendant on this probationary ſtate, they will with him be able to ſay, "It is finiſhed;" and as good and faithful ſervants enter into the joy of their Lord.

After the before-mentioned memorable meeting at Bewdley, I recruited in health, though yet attended with very painful feelings. We returned home pretty directly, taking the quarterly meeting for Somerſetſhire, and ſome other meetings in our way; and the remainder of this year I ſpent at home, and attending ſervices in our own county as they opened.

The 20th of the Fourth month 1778, I again left it in company with my dear huſband intending for Wales, he having buſineſs there, and I had an engagement to attend the yearly meeting for that principality. We proceeded to Ilfracomb, and, in our way, had a meeting with Friends in the north of Devon at Newtown. At Ilfracomb we had a large ſatisfactory meeting, amongſt a people very ignorant of our principles. We were detained here by contrary winds until Firſt-day, and as we ſat together in the morning, I earneſtly deſired to know whether any further ſervice was required; as it did not appear probable we ſhould be releaſed that day; and afterwards as I ſat quietly in my chamber, our Lord's words to his diſciples aroſe in my mind, Ariſe, let us go hence, and ſoon after, the captain of the veſſel came and told us he intended to ſail. We went on board in the afternoon, and before midnight landed at the Mumbles, and the next morning proceeded to Swanſea. My huſband's mother was lately dead; concerning whom I may ſay, that ſhe was an exerciſed woman, and I believe finiſhed her courſe with joy, about the ninety-ſeventh year of her age; and except her hearing, ſhe retained her faculties to admiration. As her furniture, with her ſervants, remained in her houſe, we ſettled there.

The 2d of the Fifth month we went for the Welch yearly meeting, and were at a meeting by the way at New Inn meeting-houſe, which was large and very ſatisfactory. Samuel Spavold of Hitchin in Hertfordſhire, John Lewis of Haverford-weſt, and Thomas Carrington, from North America, were there alſo; and we went in company that afternoon to a meeting which was appointed by John Lewis, at a friend's houſe, not far out of the way to Llandovery, and to Llandovery the ſame night. Here the yearly meeting was held, and began the next day; and through the various ſittings, was a favoured ſeaſon both to Friends and others. The weather being very wet, it was not ſo large as was expected, but many ſober people attended, unto whom the goſpel flowed freely. In the courſe of my travels before my marriage, I had two very ſatisfactory meetings at this place, where none live who profeſs with us.

My ſpirit, in the courſe of the yearly meeting, was dipped into ſympathy with the few friends ſcattered about Wales; and unto thoſe who were there aſſembled, encouragement and inſtruction were afforded. In our return to Swanſea, we had a large and much favoured meeting at Llandilo; the before-mentioned Friends and John Townſend of London attending it. They went back to a meeting at the New Inn meeting-houſe, and next day we all met again at Swanſea. The afternoon meeting there was large, ſolemn, and inſtructive.

We ſtaid at Swanſea until the 14th, then went to Cardiff, and on the next morning had a ſmall meeting there with a few who met together on the Firſt-day; ſeveral of whom were not in memberſhip with us. I was very unwell, but was helped to ſpeak to their ſtates, and was well ſatisfied with the opportunity. We reached the New Paſſage that night, and next day we got to Briſtol to attend the yearly meeting there, which was large and divinely favoured. Samuel Spavold, John Townſend, Thomas Carrington, and other friends in the miniſtry attended it.

On the 21ſt I was at a meeting at Frenchay, with Thomas Waring of Leominſter; and after the meeting, my friend Lydia Hawkſworth and I had a good opportunity with a young woman, who was likely to marry out of the ſociety. She was much affected, yet held her reſolution to engage in the connection. Her intended huſband was a man of property, and had long reſided in America, whereto he took her, and there ſhe died. Her death was occaſioned through a ſingular circumſtance. In the time of the American war, her huſband's eſtate was taken from him, but was recovered after its termination. When intelligence was brought her of its being reſtored, ſhe lay in, I think of her ſecond child; and the pleaſing news ſo affected her then weak ſpirits, that ſhe died.

In the afternoon we had a much favoured ſeaſon at Joſeph Beck's, with many young people, and returned that night to Briſtol. The 24th (Firſt-day), we were at Claverham meeting, the 25th and 26th at Briſtol; myſelf unwell.

The 27th, I was at Bath meeting, which was not large but favoured, returned to Briſtol, and the 30th, we went to Pont-y-pool. The 31ſt (Firſt-day), we attended two meetings at Friends meeting-houſe at Pont-y-moil, near Pont-y-pool. That in the morning was principally for Friends, that in the afternoon was large, and both opportunities were crowned with the Divine preſence.

Sixth month 1ſt, we had a meeting at Cardiff with a few ſober people. In our way back to Swanſea we called upon a convinced woman, who lived alone near Cowbridge, who was comforted by our viſit. We ſtaid at Swanſea until the 12th, attending the meetings there in their courſe, ſome of which were ſeaſons of Divine favour. My mind being drawn to viſit the few Friends at Haverford-weſt, my huſband accompanied me there. The way was long, and my ſtrength much exhauſted by the before-mentioned ſervices; but I was favoured with ability to diſcharge my duty. We had a large meeting at Carmarthen the evening we left Swanſea, and next day got to Haverford-weſt, attended two publick meetings there on the 14th, it being Firſt-day, and in the evening had a private opportunity with Friends. We had conſiderable ſatisfaction in this journey, and returned to Swanſea, accompanied by our friend John Lewis, the 16th.

The 18th was the quarterly meeting at Swanſea, which although very ſmall was a ſolemn opportunity; Divine mercy favouring the few aſſembled from the ſeveral meetings, with counſel and encouragement. The 19th, J. Lewis and myſelf had a meeting in the townhall at Neath, which was not ſo large as we expected, but, I believe it was a profitable ſeaſon unto ſome preſent. The 20th, we went to Llantriſſent, and the 21ſt attended two large meetings at Trêf-y-Ryhg, a meeting-houſe in the country.

The morning-meeting was much favoured. The few from Cardiff, and the poor lonely woman near Cowbridge, met us, and we had an opportunity with them and a few other friends at a friend's houſe. In our return to Swanſea, we had a meeting at Bridgend, in a bowling-green, wherein was an arbour, under which I ſtood. The people were very ſtill, and, I hope ſome were benefited. I was extremely fatigued with this journey, having performed it moſtly on horſeback, double; which appeared the beſt method of travelling in ſome part of the journey, but I found my ſtrength was not equal to that exerciſe in ſuch long ſtages.

The 28th (Firſt-day) I attended a ſmall meeting held at Neath, in a friend's houſe, in the morning; and in the evening had a very large meeting at White Rock, amongſt the workmen of the Copper Houſe and others. This was the laſt meeting I appointed in Wales, and left Swanſea with peace and thankfulneſs the 27th of the Sixth month, and returned to it no more. We reached Briſtol the 29th, and got to Wellington the 1ſt of the Seventh month, attending the Firſt-day meetings there: that in the afternoon was very large, and both were good meetings. The 5th, we had a living meeting at Camelford in Cornwall, amongſt a people not profeſſing with us; but ſome of whom appeared to me to be near the kingdom. The 6th, we got home.

The 31ſt of this month I had a meeting at the houſe of a man lately convinced, in the pariſh of Breague; where ſome hundreds of people gathered, that we were obliged to hold it without doors. They generally behaved well, and ſome were much affected. It was a favoured opportunity, and I was truly thankful for Divine aid to diſcharge my duty therein.

The 13th of the Ninth month, the Circular yearly meeting for the weſtern counties began. It was held at Launceſton, and was a large and favoured ſolemnity; and, although I did not think the miniſtry roſe ſo high as I have known it in ſome of thoſe general meetings, it appeared to be a ſerviceable opportunity, and the people ſeemed well ſatisfied therewith. I ſpent the remaining part of this year about home, and was favoured in occaſional ſervices there amongſt Friends and others. Upon conſidering the ſervice wherein I have been engaged ſince I ſettled in Cornwall, I ſee cauſe for true thankfulneſs, having therein been owned by the heavenly Maſter: and although in regard to uniting with us as a people, much fruit has not appeared; the teſtimony of Truth ſeems to gain ground amongſt the inhabitants, and ſome of our own ſociety and others, are awakened and ſtrengthened thereby; ſo that I truſt I have not run nor laboured in vain altogether. May the Lord preſerve me humble and dependent upon himſelf, that whatſoever I am or do, it may be by his grace.

In the Firſt month, 1779, our quarterly meeting at Auſtle was a memorable ſeaſon of Divine love, wherein many ſtates were miniſtered to, and many hearts tendered. The rebellious were warned, and I believe ſome of them ſaw the imminent danger of their ſtates; but alas! the prophet's complaint reſpecting Ephraim, &c. too well befits many viſited minds. Their righteouſneſs is as a morning cloud, and as the early dew which ſoon paſſeth away; yet I truſt the ſavour of love and life witneſſed in this meeting reſted ſweetly upon ſome minds.

For ſome time after this meeting, my exerciſe for ſome of the members of our own ſociety was heavy, and I was livingly opened in ſeveral meetings, and private opportunities, agreeably to their ſtates; ſo that whether the labour beſtowed hath its deſired effect, or be as water ſpilt upon a ſtone, I hope to be clear reſpecting them: and great is the mercy of God in viſiting and reviſiting them.

The 1ſt of the Third month, I had a large good meeting at Helſton, which many ſerious and religious people attended, and I believe were inſtructed and refreſhed.

CHAP. IX.

FOR ſome time I had entertained a proſpect of viſiting ſome meetings in Somerſetſhire and Glouceſterſhire, and paying a particular viſit to the families of friends in Herefordſhire. I left home to accompliſh this ſervice, accompanied by my dear huſband; and on the 13th of the Third month 1779, we met our friend Lydia Hawkſworth, who was concerned to accompany me therein, at Wellington. The 14th, being the firſt of the week, we attended Friend's meeting at Spice-land; and in the evening had a ſelect opportunity with Friends at Wellington. My huſband then proceeding to Briſtol on buſineſs, we induſtriouſly purſued our concern, viſiting many meetings in that week; and on the 21ſt (Firſt-day) were met by my huſband, and my brother James Payton, at Puddimore meeting. We went the ſame evening to Compton in Dorſetſhire, to viſit our valuable friends Jonah Thompſon and his ſon; ſpent the next day with them; and in the evening had a meeting with their ſcholars and others of the family and many of the neighbours, in the ſchool-room, which was a favoured ſeaſon; and we proceeded to Sherborn meeting on the 24th. Here my huſband and brother left us, and next morning we proceeded to Hollowtrow, had a meeting there in the afternoon, went the ſame night to Pensford, next day to a meeting at Bolton, thence to Chew Magna, and were at the Firſt-day meeting held there on the 28th.

The 30th we had a meeting at Portſhead, and croſſing the Avon at Pill, were at King's Weſton meeting on the 31ſt; thence went to thoſe at Olveſton and Thornbury, and thence to Worceſter. In theſe meetings in the counties of Somerſet and Glouceſter, I was enabled to diſcharge my duty to my own humbling admiration, and the edification of many who attended them.

The quarterly meeting for the county of Worceſter being held at Worceſter, we attended it, and alſo two meetings with friends of that city; and on the 7th of the Fourth month, went to Bramyard in Herefordſhire, where we were met by my brother Young and Thomas Waring of Leominſter; who united with us in the intended viſit to the families of friends in that county, which we began at this place. In this laborious and important ſervice we were Divinely aſſiſted. My dear companion had a conſiderable and very acceptable ſhare therein; which was generally the caſe in family viſits, and private opportunities, although ſhe was frequently ſilent in publick meetings. She was peculiarly gifted for theſe private ſervices, and when ſhe did appear in publick miniſtry, her ſervice therein was very edifying, and acceptable to Friends. Having an intention to return to Briſtol before the yearly meeting was held there, we purſued this ſervice with diligence, and on the 24th of the Fourth month, we paid our laſt viſit.

My brother Young had accompanied us through the viſit, but Thomas Waring left us at Almelly on the 18th, their company was acceptable and ſtrengthening to us.

On the 25th (being Firſt-day) we had a meeting at Shire Newton in Monmouthſhire, which was attended by many of the Welch people, and the few friends in the neighbourhood, and, I believe was an acceptable opportunity to them. In the evening we had a meeting with Mary Powel of Chepſtow and ſome others. She was the only member of our ſociety reſiding in that town; where a meeting of Friends was never ſettled. Next morning, we proceeded to the New Paſſage, but the boat being gone a few minutes before we reached it, we were detained until the evening tide; but, through Divine mercy, we got ſafe over, and reached Briſtol about ten o'clock the ſame night.

My huſband ſtaid with me at Briſtol until the yearly meeting there was ended, which was large and attended by many miniſtering friends of this nation and America; yet a large ſhare of the publick labour in the miniſtry fell to my lot, at which I believe my brethren and ſiſters rejoiced; for I was aſſiſted to miniſter in the demonſtration of the ſpirit and with power; and returned the praiſes due to Him who exalts and abaſes his ſervants, as he knows is moſt conducive to his honour, and to their preſervation. I ſtaid at Briſtol to attend the marriage of two friends with whom I was acquainted; and then, accompanied by my huſband, ſet out for London. We attended a few meetings in our way, and reached London about a week before the yearly meeting, myſelf much ſpent with hard labour and exerciſe. I was enabled to attend the meetings in courſe, during the ſitting of the yearly meeting; and after its concluſion, with my huſband and friend Lydia Hawkſworth, proceeded to Calne in Wiltſhire, attended the meeting of Friends there in the morning of the Firſt-day, and had a publick meeting at Chippenham, appointed to begin at ſix in the evening. The meeting was large, and was a favoured opportunity; the people not profeſſing with us behaved with becoming ſeriouſneſs, and ſome of them were viſibly affected. It was long in gathering, which might occaſion its being late before it concluded; yet my inclination being ſtrong to go to Melkſham that night, we proceeded thither. Before we reached it, the family where we were to lodge were in bed, but the maſter of it, my relation Thomas Fowler, came down and received us with great kindneſs. Next day my dear huſband left us and went to Briſtol and Swanſea. I had a view of viſiting ſome places in the neighbourhood; but my ſtrength was exhauſted too much to ſuffer me to engage immediately upon ſervice. In the next night I was much indiſpoſed, and in the morning ſent for an apothecary, who thought my diſorder was the effects of a cold; but it proved a fever, which, with the weakneſs attendant thereon, confined me for ſome weeks with theſe my affectionate relations; whoſe tender care and generous treatment of me, both now and at all times, when my lot was caſt under their hoſpitable roof, demands my grateful acknowledgement, both of their kindneſs, and that of my heavenly Father: whoſe mercy was at this time ſignally diſcovered in upholding my enfeebled frame until I came to friends by whom I was ſo well nurſed, and with whom my mind was ſo eaſy. My affectionate companion continued alſo with me, and tenderly aſſiſted me until my fever went off. My huſband returned to me; but his buſineſs calling him home, and my ſtrength not being equal to ſo long a journey, he left me to the care of my friends. As my ſtrength returned, my proſpect of ſome ſervice in the neighbourhood returned alſo, and I ventured to the meeting at Bradford upon a Firſt-day; but my principal concern was to hold a publick meeting at Trowbridge, in which town no one reſided who profeſſed with Friends. I went, in weakneſs, accompanied by ſeveral friends, and appeared to a friend of London who caſually met me there ſo emaciated, that when ſhe returned home, ſhe reported amongſt friends there, that it appeared to her my labours were near accompliſhed. We held a meeting in a large dining-room at the inn, which was attended by many attentive well-behaved people; and the teſtimony of Truth was exalted amongſt them, to the praiſe of Him who ſtrengthens for every ſervice in which he engages his ſervants. I was that day made ſtrong to declare of his wiſdom and mercy, and preach the doctrines of his Son Jeſus Chriſt; and returned to Melkſham in peace, and with thankfulneſs for the aſſiſtance afforded in that memorable day's labour. After this meeting, I was eaſy to return home; ſo, accompanied by my companion and a friend of Melkſham, I left that place; and with her got to a country meeting held at Grenton in Somerſetſhire on the Firſt-day, which was attended by many of the country people, both of that place and its neighbourhood, and was a favoured opportunity. There being a funeral at the publick burying-ground on the preceding evening, our friends Beaven, with whom we lodged, gave notice (at my requeſt) of the meeting to the people who attended it, which occaſioned it to be the larger.

In the afternoon we had a private opportunity with the Friends, and next day proceeded to Wellington, and from thence towards Oakhampton; where we met my dear huſband, to our mutual rejoicing and thankfulneſs, with whom we proceeded to our quarterly meeting held at Looe, and thence home, where we came in the early part of the Seventh month. As I had not preſerved any minutes of my movements ſince the yearly meeting at London, I could not inſert dates.

The ſtate of my health required reſt, and I was favoured with it; and having the company of my dear friend Hawkſworth, her attention was turned to aſſiſt in reſtoring my ſtrength; and as ſhe alſo was in need of reſt, I hope ſhe gained ſome advantage by accompanying me home; although our quiet was diſturbed in the Eighth month, by an alarm of the French and Spaniſh fleets being off Falmouth Harbour. What their deſign was could not be known, but there they lay for ſome days, the wind not permitting them to go up the channel; and as they did not attempt to land, it was conjectured that their hoſtile views were towards Plymouth, and the King's dock near that place. Soon after they had ſailed up the Channel, being in our weekday meeting, with my mind retired to the Lord, under an exerciſe on account of the intended miſchief, it run through it, He ſent forth lightnings and ſcattered them. I think, as we returned home from meeting, the wind was riſing; the ſky ſoon loured, and a terrible ſtorm gathered and diſcharged itſelf, with fierce lightning, tremendous thunder, and violent rain; which continued more or leſs through great part of the night, and indeed the thunder until the next evening. The fleets were, by the time the ſtorm began, got near Plymouth; and we heard that the commanders had deliberated about the buſineſs they had in view; but the Lord, who holdeth the winds in his fiſts, diſcharged againſt them his terrible artillery ſo powerfully, as to prevent their deſigns, and obliged them to ſheer off from our coaſts in a ſhattered ſtate. O! what frequent occaſions have Britons to praiſe the Lord for his mercy, and wonderful interference in their favour! but alas! though in words they acknowledge it, the generality of them are not concerned to make thoſe returns which he is calling for; but continue in a courſe of conduct, and diſpoſition of mind, which dares his righteous judgments: which will one day be poured forth upon the inhabitants of this highly favoured but ungrateful nation, unleſs they repent and turn from their manifold iniquity.

I chooſe here to mention a remark of a ſenſible inhabitant of the town of Helſton, upon this ſignal and memorable ſtorm, ſo favourable to this nation. He told me, that ſeeing it gathering, and having people at work on his harveſt, he haſtened to direct their labours. As he went, he made his obſervation on the wind, &c, and I think he ſaid that ſuch was the confuſion of the elements, that he could not ſay from what point the wind blew; and he ſaid in his mind, 'This is no natural ſtorm:' and indeed it proved to be ſignally providential, and as ſuch worthy of commemoration; as is alſo a circumſtance which happened in the town of Falmouth. As ſoon as government had intelligence of the enemies lying in great force off that port, ammunition was haſtened for the garriſon there. The waggons halted in the market place, to which the ſea comes up, whence the inhabitants fetch ſea-water for ſome uſes. A woman coming up with a bucket of water at the inſtant the ammunition waggons ſtopped, obſerved that the axletree of one of them was on fire, and daſhed her water upon it. As the fire was on the ſide next the ſea, if ſhe had not diſcovered it, it might have increaſed until it had blown up its dangerous loading; and there being alſo a quantity of gun-powder in that part of the town, the houſes might have been much damaged, and ſome lives loſt.

My dear friend Hawkſworth left me in the latter end of this month, or early in the next; and I was allowed to ſtay at and about home for the remainder of this year.

In the early part of the year 1780, I attended ſeveral large meetings in Cornwall, held on account of marriages or funerals, which were ſignally honoured with the Divine preſence. I alſo was at our quarterly meeting at Falmouth; and on the 3d of the Fifth month my huſband and I left home to attend our annual ſolemnity in London. In our way we had meetings at ſeveral places, and called at Compton to pay our laſt viſit to our beloved friend Jonah Thomſon, who was near the cloſe of an honourable life. We found his mind awfully collected, and waiting for his releaſe from a pained body, in certain hope of his ſpirit's being admitted into the ſaints reſt, after having laboured many years in the work of the miniſtry. In the younger part of my life, he had conducted himſelf towards me as a tender father; and in my more advanced years, as an affectionate friend. He had alſo a ſincere regard to my huſband, and as our affection was mutual, our interview and farewel was affecting.

The yearly meeting at London was large and favoured by the heavenly Maſter of the aſſemblies of his ſervants. From London, we went, accompanied by our friend L. Hawkſworth, to a general meeting held annually at Weſton in Buckinghamſhire, and ſo to High Wycombe. My huſband returned to London, and Lydia Hawkſworth and myſelf proceeded to Reading, where we met a committee, who, by appointment of the yearly meeting, were going to viſit the meeting for diſcipline in Briſtol. We attended ſeveral meetings with them in our way to that city, where we arrived on the 1ſt of the Sixth month.

Before I left Cornwall, I had informed friends of our monthly meeting, that I was under an engagement of duty to attend the quarterly meeting for Oxfordſhire to be held at Banbury, and to viſit ſome meetings in Warwickſhire, Worceſterſhire, Shropſhire, and Glonceſterſhire, alſo to attend the Circular yearly meeting to be held at Hereford; wherewith they concurred. And my friend Lydia Hawkſworth being given up to accompany me, I ſtaid at and in the neighbourhood of Briſtol, until the Seventh month, to afford her time to prepare for the journey. We went to Worceſter, and attended the meetings held there on the 1ſt and 3d days: and thence proceeded to Eveſham and Alceſter. Several of the town's people, came to the meetings at Alceſter, and I was favoured to preach the everlaſting goſpel to them. The ſame evening, we reached Eatington, were at the meeting there on the Firſt-day, whereto many friends from an adjacent meeting came, at my requeſt, and I hope it was a profitable opportunity: we proceeded that evening to Banbury, and to the houſe of Edward Stone, whoſe wife was nearly related to me, and with her huſband received and entertained us with affectionate kindneſs.

The quarterly meeting held at this place was a large and favoured ſolemnity; and many people not profeſſing with us attended the meetings, unto whom the goſpel of life and ſalvation was preached in the demonſtration of the Divine ſpirit. In the courſe of the meetings, a dangerous accident befel me. In the womens' meeting-room was a gallery for miniſtering friends, wherein my companion, myſelf, and other friends were ſeated. Upon my riſing to ſtep further, to make room for more, the floor gave way, and I ſunk with it; but I received but little hurt, which might be eſteemed a ſingular mercy, conſidering how I was ſituated in the fall. Friends ought to be careful in examining theſe elevated ſeats in old meeting-houſes. This was not the only time I have been in danger through the neglect of it.

From Banbury we went to a meeting at Redway, and to Warwick the 28th. We ſtaid here with my dear ſiſter Summerfield, until the 4th of the Eighth month, when we went to Shipſton, where the quarterly meeting for Worceſterſhire was held the next day, at which were many friends of that county, who rejoiced to ſee me, and we were favoured together in the Divine preſence. On the 6th, we had a meeting at Long Compton, which, although ſmall, was a favoured ſeaſon. The ſame evening we had a meeting at Tredington at the houſe of our friend William Lambly, whoſe family was the only one of friends reſiding in that village. His neighbours attended, but appeared ſo low in the knowledge of Divine Truths, that it was difficult to miniſter to them ſo as to be underſtood.

On the 7th, we returned to Warwick, and the 9th, being the firſt of the week (accompanied by my ſiſter), attended a large meeting of friends and other profeſſors of religion, held annually at Birkſwell; and on the ſame evening went to Coventry. We had a meeting there the 11th, and in the remainder of the week had meetings at ſeveral places amongſt friends of Warwickſhire; and on Firſt-day, the 16th, were at a large meeting which is held annually at Atherſton. There I met many friends from divers counties, amongſt whom I had laboured and been converſant before my ſettling in Cornwall; and we were favoured together with the merciful viſitation of Divine love and life. The 17th, we attended a monthly meeting for diſcipline held at Hartſhill. Here I left my ſiſter, who was ſo much indiſpoſed as not to be able to accompany us to the before-mentioned meeting at Atherſton.

On the 18th, we went to the neighbourhood of Birmingham. We attended the week-day meetings there in this week, and alſo thoſe on the Firſt-day▪ I hope to the edification of many preſent, and viſited ſeveral of our friends; and on the 24th, were at a monthly meeting for diſcipline at Dudley. The 25th, we had a large and good meeting at Wolverhampton; and thence we went to Coalbrookdale, had a meeting there, and proceeding to the meetings of Shrewſbury, and the Bank, came back to Coalbrookdale meeting, Firſt-day, the 29th. The Lord's power and preſence were evidently with us in our ſervices in this quarter; and after a ſolemn opportunity in our friend Abiah Darby's family, at which ſome other friends were preſent, we left it and returned to Dudley; and I viſited friends in that quarter no more. We ſtaid with my dear brother until after the enſuing Firſt-day, when the meetings were large; as has been uſual, when I have viſited that place, ſince my removal from it; my old neighbours preſſing to the meetings, more generally than when I reſided amongſt them: and many times has the Divine power, and the teſtimony of Truth, been exalted; to the praiſe thereof, and the convincement of many of the truth of the doctrine preached, although but few have ſo believed unto righteouſneſs, as to make a public profeſſion thereof. Leaving Dudley, we had meetings at Stourbridge, Bewdley, and Bromſgrove: that at Bewdley did not tend to relieve my mind, being attended by very few of the town's people, unto whom we ſuppoſe proper notice had not been given. On the next Firſt-day we attended a large meeting which is held annually at Redditch; and thence we went to Worceſter, ſtaid over the Third-day's meeting there, and proceeded to Camden to the funeral of a friend; then to a meeting at Stow in the Would and to Cirenceſter, and attended the meetings there on the Firſt-day, which was a day of memorable favour to ſome ſouls. We viſited the meetings of Nailſworth, and paid a viſit to my couſin M. Fowler, at Minchin Hampton; whence we went to Sodbury, had a meeting there, and proceeded to Briſtol, where my dear huſband was engaged in buſineſs: and although I ſaw I muſt return into Glouceſterſhire, I was pleaſed to be permitted to ſee him before his return into Cornwall. From Briſtol we went to the meetings at Frenchay and Thornbury on the Firſt-day, and ſo to the quarterly meeting for Glouceſterſhire, held at Cheltenham. As it was the ſeaſon for drinking the water of this place, many who were in it on that account, attended the publick meeting, unto whom the teſtimony of Truth was declared. From Cheltenham we proceeded to Painſwick, attended a large meeting, held on account of the funeral of a friend, which was a favoured opportunity, and had alſo a meeting ſelect with the friends of that place. I had a deſire to have a meeting at Glouceſter with the people not profeſſing with us, of which notice was given; and although it was not ſo large as I wiſhed, I had ſome open ſervice amongſt thoſe who attended and behaved ſeriouſly. We viſited friends at Tewkſbury, and on the Firſt-day, had an appointed meeting at Stoke Orchard, where formerly there had been an eſtabliſhed meeting of friends, returned to Tewkſbury, and next day went to Worceſter. Thence my companion returned to Briſtol, being deſirous to ſpend a little time at home before the yearly meeting at Hereford. On the next Firſt-day, being the 10th of the Ninth month, I attended a large, and I hope a ſerviceable, meeting at Stourport; which was appointed and attended by John Townſend of London, and Thomas Waring of Leominſter; and was the firſt meeting which had been held by Friends in that place.

My mind not being eaſy reſpecting Bewdley, I propoſed to the before-mentioned friends, to accompany me in a meeting there; which they being willing to do, one was appointed to be held the next morning; and although it was not ſo large as I expected, it was a favoured ſeaſon, and tended to the relief of my mind. The 12th, John Townſend accompanied me to Droitwich, where I deſired to have a meeting with the town's people, which proved a memorable ſeaſon of Divine favour. The 13th, I went to Bramyard, and the 14th attended the monthly meeting at Leominſter, and ſtaid with my relations there until the 23d. On the 21ſt, the marriage of my niece Catharine Young, with George C. Fox of Falmouth, was ſolemnized; and the meeting held upon the occaſion was large, and the teſtimony of Truth was exalted therein, to the Lord's praiſe.

From Leominſter I proceeded to Hereford, where I was met by my companion L. Hawkſworth, and many other miniſtering friends and others, aſſembled to attend the Circular yearly meeting, which was a large, ſolemn, and (to myſelf, and many other friends) humbling ſeaſon, under the ſenſe of the freſh extendings of Divine love and power towards Friends, and the people of other religious ſocieties. How frequently is the aſſent of the judgment given to the truths preached in our meetings, by many who attend them, who do not profeſs with us! But how few of theſe walk anſwerably to what they have been convinced is conſiſtent with the holy diſpenſation of Chriſt! Alas! the croſs appears too great to be taken up, even to gain an immortal crown. But be it conſidered who it was that ſaid, He that taketh not up his croſs, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me; and alſo, He that is aſhamed of me, and of my doctrine, of him will I be aſhamed before my Father and his holy angels. It is not only the unfaithfulneſs of many who have been born and educated amongſt us, but that of very many, who have been convinced of the truth of our religious principles, which prevents the increaſe of our numbers. There was a time when many people were weary of worſhipping in the outward courts of religion, and could not content themſelves with ſhadows of it, and were willing to embrace the croſs, that they might obtain the ſubſtance; when many great and diſtinguiſhed perſons and characters, bore teſtimony to the Truth as it is profeſſed by us, as they were thereto called of God; whoſe light ſhone brightly, and very conſpicuouſly through their great and numerous ſufferings, for their teſtimony of a good conſcience towards Him and men. The preſent time is a ſeaſon of eaſe, and greater liberty to worſhip the Lord agreeably to the inſtruction of his pure Spirit; but wherein many of the people are willing to hear, but few are awfully inquiring "What is Truth," with an earneſt deſire to know, and ſincere intention to follow it. Pontius Pilate inquired, "What is Truth," but did not wait for an anſwer from the Light of Truth. He was in part convinced of his power and purity, yet he delivered him up to the Jews to be crucified, leſt his temporal intereſts ſhould ſuffer, if he reſcued him from their malice. And we read, That the ſame day Pilate and Herod were made friends, who had before been at variance with each other. Thus it has been, and is, with many who have been partly convinced what is Truth. Temporal intereſts and pleaſures have been preferred to a poſſeſſion in the Truth; and the joining with the world in perſecuting Chriſt, to the confeſſing of him before men. The teſtimony of his ſervant is fulfilled in ſuch; Whoſoever will be a friend of the world, is the enemy of God. Theſe will one day ſee and lament their great loſs. May the Lord in his mercy rouſe many of them to conſider the things which will make for their peace with him, before they are for ever hid from their eyes. I believe there will come a ſhaking time in theſe favoured nations, wherein the falſe reſt of many will be diſturbed, and the judgments of the Lord being in the earth, the inhabitants thereof will learn righteouſneſs; and many will be gathered from the barren mountains of an empty profeſſion of religion, and the deſolate hills of formality, to ſit under the teaching of Chriſt, manifeſted by his Spirit in their ſouls, and delight in the extendings of the wing of his love and power; whereby they will be ſolaced, and ſheltered in this ſtate of probation, and therefore ſing ſalvation and ſtrength thereto. O! that thoſe remaining under our name may be concerned to keep their lamps burning; that they may attract the notice of thoſe who in that day will ſincerely ſeek the way to Zion, ſaying, Let us be joined unto the Lord in an everlaſting covenant; that ſuch may behold us, as a choſen people of God, abiding in our tents, under the direction of our holy Captain, Chriſt Jeſus: who raiſed us up to be a people, that ſhould bear an uniform teſtimony to his pure everlaſting Truth. He cleanſed us from all the chaff and droſs, which under a religious ſhew, remained amongſt the profeſſors of faith in him; as well as from all the fragments of the legal diſpenſation, which with its ordinances and ceremonies were appointed to paſs away, when his pure ſpiritual diſpenſation of grace and truth ſhould be introduced and eſtabliſhed. He ſtripped us of that fragment of ſuperſtition wherewith the nominal Chriſtian church was, and yet is in degree, clothed. He aboliſhed the falſe faiths and falſe truſts whereon many had depended; and he clothed us with that true faith, which overcometh the world, and is productive of fruits meet for his holy kingdom. And will he ſuffer us to become extinct as a peculiar family to himſelf? Nay, verily. Although many of us are as degenerate plants of a ſtrange vine unto him; he will return and viſit them, and ſome of theſe will be ingrafted into him; and others will be brought from far, to ſeek an inheritance amongſt them; and the Moſt High will acknowledge them, as the branches of his planting, the work of his hands, in whom he will be glorified.

After taking an affectionate farewel of my friends at Hereford, my companion and I went to Roſs, had a meeting there, and to Briſtol, where I left her; and Ann Byrd accompanied me to Wellington. We ſtaid the morning meeting there on the Firſt-day, and went in the afternoon to Collumpton; had a religious opportunity with the friends living there in the evening, and early next morning went for Exeter; in hope of getting there in time to go forward with the Friends from that place to the quarterly meeting at Kingſbridge; but they were gone, and we had to travel a lonely and long day's journey, which was not accompliſhed without difficulty, and ſome danger, it being late at night ere we got to Kingſbridge. And had not a young woman whom we met at Totneſs, taken us into the chaiſe which ſhe had hired, there was little probability of getting there that night; as no other chaiſe was to be had in the town, and the fleet lying in Torbay, the officers were revelling at the inn; ſo that we ſhould have had but an uncomfortable time amongſt them. From Kingſbridge, I went to Plymouth, where I met my dear huſband; and after a meeting there, we proceeded home, where we arrived the 9th of the Tenth month.

I have the more particularly noted my proceedings in this journey, becauſe it was amongſt my friends and others who had heretofore ſo largely ſhared my labours; and this being the laſt viſit which I paid them ſo generally, it appeared to me ſingular, that I ſhould fall in with ſo many quarterly and annual meetings; which afforded us an opportunity of ſeeing each other more generally and repeatedly than we ſhould have done, had it not ſo happened: and be it commemorated with humble thankfulneſs to the merciful Fountain of bleſſings, that it was a ſeaſon of ſignal favour to many of our ſpirits.

I had been laboriouſly exerciſed for more than five months in this journey, and except in attending our monthly and quarterly meeting, and occaſional ſervices about home, I was excuſed from travelling more in this year. Indeed, I had for ſome time, found my nature ſinking under the load of exerciſes it had long ſuſtained; ſo that I did not go through ſervices aſſigned me without many painful feelings, but He who employed, ſupported me, to the praiſe of his ever worthy Name.

In the ſpring of the year 1781, I wrote my brother Young to the following import:— 'My mind is ſo cloſed in regard to future proſpects of duty, that I am ready to conclude, that ſome family affliction may prevent my moving far from home ſoon.'

In this I was not miſtaken; for ſoon after I wrote that letter I was ſeized with a cold, the effects whereof became alarming; and after its load was removed from my lungs, it fell upon my joints, which have gradually ſtiffened, and baffled all medical application; ſo that I am become an entire cripple, and my fingers are ſo contracted that my being able to uſe my pen is admirable to my friends. But although this is ultimately the conſequence, yet I have been enabled to ſtruggle on for ſeveral years.

I was not ſo recovered as to appear equal to the fatigue of attending the yearly meeting at London this year; and my huſband alſo was eaſy to abide at home, where he was ſo dangerouſly attacked with a quinſey, that it appeared he very narrowly eſcaped death. His ſon was from home, and the weight of his critical ſituation, together with the attention which was due to him, bore heavily upon my weak body and ſpirits, and but that our couſin Frances James, now Fox, was then with us, I know not how I ſhould have ſuſtained my fatigues. She very tenderly and aſſiduouſly attended upon my huſband, and aſſiſted me in this ſeaſon of affliction; which I note with thankfulneſs to that good Hand which furniſhed us with her help. My huſband's firſt wife was her mother's ſiſter, and ſhe being left an infant orphan, my huſband, with other relations, had cared for her, and a mutual affection ſubſiſted; ſo that her ſervices were the more willingly lent, and pleaſingly accepted.

When my huſband's diſorder was turned, he recovered ſtrength but ſlowly, and I continued weak, yet I could not be eaſy to omit attending the Circular yearly meeting, which was this year held at South Molton in Devonſhire. My huſband's health not admitting of his accompanying me, my niece Fox was my only companion; but being in our own chaiſe we got along the more eaſily and in ſafety to South Molton, where we hoped to have met my brothers Payton and Young; but in this we were afflictingly diſappointed. My brother's ſervant brought us intelligence, that his maſter and my brother Young had come within one ſtage of Briſtol, where my brother Young was laid up extremely ill; and of conſequence my brother Payton was detained with him. This was afflicting intelligence to us both; my niece his daughter was ſunk too low to proceed forward alone; and until the meeting cloſed, no friend could be expected to accompany her, when my friend Hawkſworth took her under her care. She found her father extremely ill, and his caſe appeared for ſome time very dangerous, yet it pleaſed Providence to reſtore him; but he was confined ſome weeks at the inn, before it appeared ſafe for him to move forwards.

The people of South Molton very kindly welcomed friends amongſt them, and freely opened their houſes to receive ſuch as could not be accommodated with lodgings at the inns. My friend Hawkſworth and myſelf preferred lodging at a private houſe, as our inn was likely to be very full of company; and as we went to ſee a room at a conſiderable diſtance, a young clergyman joined us, and appeared to intereſt himſelf in our being well accommodated. He told us the people of the town were generally moderate and civil, and ſeemed pleaſed that the meeting was appointed there. We were kindly lodged near the inn.

The meeting was very large, and the people behaved ſoberly: indeed many of them ſeemed prepared to receive, or at leaſt hear, the teſtimony of Truth; and the power of it ſo prevailed in the meeting as to bind down the ſpirits of others, who might attend from no better motive than curioſity. The ſpring of goſpel miniſtry ran freely, and I, though ſo weak, was enabled to take a large ſhare in the labour. Friends were comforted together, and the faithful amongſt them rejoiced in perceiving the extendings of the love of God, both towards the members of our own ſociety, and thoſe of other religious profeſſions; many of whoſe hearts were affected under the teſtimonies delivered in the meetings.

I returned directly home, my friend A. Price accompanying me. Here, and in the county, I continued for the winter, in a weak ſtate of health, and my dear huſband tender, but moſtly cheerful, which was his natural diſpoſition. I do not know that I have enjoyed one day's health ſince the ſpring of this year, which, as I foreſaw, was a year attended with much family affliction, wherein our ſon Richard Phillips had a ſhare before it terminated.

In the year 1782, I attended the Welch yearly meeting, which was held at Bridgenorth. My huſband accompanied me to Briſtol, and Lydia Hawkſworth went with me to Bridgenorth. We went direct, only called and ſtaid a ſhort time with my brother, and returned to the yearly meeting at Briſtol, and thence to London.

When I went from Briſtol to Bridgenorth, my huſband went to Swanſea, and met me in London, to attend the yearly meeting there. A general epidemic cold reigned during the ſitting of the yearly meeting. Many friends were ſeized with it, but we were favoured to eſcape it, until much of the ſervice of the meetings was over. We were both much indiſpoſed, which detained us ſome time in London; and when we were able to travel, we returned with our friend Lydia Hawkſworth to Briſtol, and thence home. We recovered ſtrength to attend the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Tamworth in the Ninth month. My weakneſs and contraction in my joints increaſing, my huſband conſulted Dr. Ludlow, a phyſician of note of Briſtol, upon the caſe, who ordered me medicine to take on the journey, which, being of an invigorating quality, I thought helped to ſtrengthen me to get through the fatigue of the journey, and the exerciſe of the meeting; although the principal help in the courſe of the labour aſſigned me therein muſt be attributed to the Lord's power, which is manifeſted in the weakneſs of his ſervants. The meeting was large, both of Friends and thoſe of other ſocieties, and crowned with the Divine preſence. The teſtimony of Truth was exalted, and faithful friends were comforted, in the ſenſe of the continued extendings of the heavenly Father's love to the various ſtates of the members of our own ſociety, as well as to other profeſſors of religion. Before the meeting was opened I had diſlocated my left elbow, by a fall down a ſteep and long flight of ſtairs, and was obliged to carry my arm in a ſling; although I had to take ſo conſiderable a ſhare of active labour through the courſe of the meetings. After their concluſion, we attended a meeting at Birmingham, then ſpent a ſhort time at Dudley, with my brother, and returned to Briſtol, where we again conſulted Dr. Ludlow; who adviſed me to try the effect of electricity on my contracted joints. After I had continued ſome time under that operation, he ordered me to Bath, to try the effect of pumping upon them, at the ſame time continuing the medicines he had preſcribed. But all was without the deſired effect; and indeed I believe the Doctor had but little hope in my caſe, for he intimated that I might probably become an entire cripple, and live many years in that ſtate: which has been my caſe.

1783.—My huſband accompanied me to the yearly meeting at London. Before I left home, I had informed my friends that I was engaged to attend the yearly meetings of Colcheſter, Woodbridge, and Norwich, which ſucceeded that at London; and had obtained a certificate of their unity with me therein; and my friend Lydia Hawkſworth being under the like concern, we left Briſtol on the 28th of the Fifth month, accompanied by our friend Mary Were of Wellington. We proceeded to Melkſham and Saliſbury, where we left Mary Were, and went to Poole, attended the meetings there on Firſt-day, 1ſt of Sixth month, and the 2d, met Mary Were at Ringwood, attended the monthly meeting there, and proceeded to Rumſey, thence to Alton, attended the week-day meeting there on the 4th, and went to Godalming, and the 5th to London. On this day we intended to have fallen in with the week-day meeting at Eſher; but there being a funeral of a friend at Kingſton, moſt of the friends of Eſher were gone to attend it; ſo we preſſed on, and got to the meeting a little after the time appointed; and I hope it was well we were there. We attended the quarterly meeting, and proceeded on our journey, taking meetings in our way to the beforementioned yearly meetings. We alſo viſited almoſt all the meetings in Norfolk, then paſſed into Cambridgeſhire and the Iſle of Ely, viſiting the meetings therein, thence into Eſſex, and, viſiting divers meetings which I had not before attended in that county, turned back through Cambridgeſhire to Huntingdon. In this journey I ſuſtained much labour both in body and ſpirit, which was the more painful from my increaſed and increaſing weakneſs; which rendered it probable, as indeed it proved, that this would be the laſt viſit I ſhould pay to friends of thoſe parts; as it was alſo the firſt I had paid to many of the meetings which we attended. I was however thankful that the good Shepherd influenced our minds to viſit ſo many of his ſheep in thoſe counties, unto whom our ſpirits were united in goſpel ſympathy; and we had alſo to bear the burden of the ſpirits of formal profeſſors, unto whom the alarm was ſounded, to awake out of ſleep. I had ſome publick meetings in this journey to my ſatisfaction, and I hope to the edification of many people attending them. One of them was held at Cambridge; which I hope was ſerviceable, although I was not favoured to riſe in the exerciſe of the Divine gift beſtowed upon me, to that height I did when in that town many years ago.

That was indeed a ſingular time, and anſwered a ſingular end, viz. to convince a man who had contemned women's miniſtry in Chriſt's church, of its weight, efficacy, and conſiſtency with the goſpel diſpenſation. The ſame man, who did not live in the town, was invited to attend this meeting, and he might therein hear goſpel truths publiſhed, and treated upon in a more argumentative way, than it was common for me to be engaged in. The All-wiſe employer of true goſpel miniſters knows how to direct his ſervants, both as to the matter, and the manner wherein he intends it ſhould be communicated to the people. And I have admired his wiſdom and condeſcenſion therein, when without forethought my ſpeech has been accommodated to the capacities of thoſe unto whom it was directed. To ſuch as were illiterate and ignorant, I have ſpoken in very low terms; and to thoſe of more underſtanding, in ſuch as anſwered its level; while to the learned, and thoſe of ſuperior natural abilities, I might ſay with the prophet, The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned; although I had it not by education. I have not wanted eloquence of ſpeech, or ſtrength of argument, wherein to convey and enforce the doctrines given me to preach; of which I could ſay, as my Lord and Maſter did, My doctrines are not mine, but his who ſent me: and his love, life, and power, hath accompanied them, to the ſtopping of the mouths of gainſayers, and convincing of the underſtandings of many, of the rectitude and efficacy of the Truth as it is in Chriſt Jeſus.

O the depth and excellency of true goſpel miniſtry! The Lord's prophet in the proſpect of it might well exclaim, How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of thoſe who bring good tidings, who publiſh peace, who publiſh ſalvation, who ſay unto Zion, Thy God reigneth! Theſe are not made ſo by human or literary acquirements; but the Spirit from on high being poured upon them, under its holy humbling influence they are enabled to miniſter, and compare ſpiritual things with ſpiritual, or elucidate them by natural things, as occaſion may require, without forecaſt or premeditation; for they ſpeak extempore, as the Spirit giveth utterance. When the miniſtry in the general thus returns to its original dignity and ſimplicity, an education at colleges will not be ſought to qualify for it. No, thoſe who are accoutred for the ſervice of him who ſpoke as never man ſpake, muſt be educated in his ſchool, and diſciplined by his wiſdom; whereby they are made able miniſters of the new teſtament, not of the letter but of the ſpirit; for the letter killeth but the ſpirit giveth life.

Thus have I, with many of my fellow-labourers, been aſſiſted to miniſter in the goſpel of Chriſt; and now in the cloſe of a laborious day's work, I may commemorate the mercy, power, and wiſdom of Him who chuſeth whom he pleaſeth for the various offices in his church. He appoints, of both male and female, ſome apoſtles, ſome prophets, ſome evangeliſts, and ſome paſtors and teachers; for the perfecting of the ſaints, for the wo ••• of the miniſtry, for the edifying of the body of Chriſt; until his members come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto the meaſure of the ſtature of the fullneſs of Chriſt; and may grow up into him in all things who is the Head, from whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint ſupplieth, according to its effectual working in the meaſure of every part, maketh increaſe of the body, unto the edifying of itſelf in love. Then, there is the higheſt rejoicing in him the heavenly Teacher, who fulfils his gracious promiſe, both to thoſe who miniſter under him, and to thoſe who are not called to this awful ſervice, Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world!

Unto him all true goſpel miniſters direct the people, and endeavour to ſettle them under the teaching of his pure Spirit. Theſe diſclaim the leaſt degree of ability to labour availingly in his ſervice, except what flows from him, the fountain of Divine power, love, and life; and, after they have done and ſuffered what he aſſigns them. ſit down in the acknowledgment, that what they are, they are through his grace. And thanking him that they have not received his grace in vain, humbly confeſs they have done but their duty. Thus from early youth, have I travelled and laboured, that the ſaving knowledge of God may increaſe, through experience of the prevalence of the power of his Son; whereby the true believers in him become crucified to the world and the world unto them; and being th •• dead, are raiſed by him in newneſs of life, to the praiſe and glory of God. Freely I have received the knowledge of ſalvation through the ſanctifying operation of the ſpirit of Chriſt; and freely have I teſtified thereof, and of God's univerſal love through his Son to mankind: for he would have none to periſh, but that all ſhould be ſaved, and attain to the knowledge of his Truth.

My views, with thoſe of others my fellow-labourers in the miniſtry, have, in regard to ourſelves, been ſimply to obtain peace with God through an honeſt diſcharge of our duty; and in reſpect to thoſe unto whom we have freely miniſtered, that they might be turned from darkneſs to light, and from the power of Satan unto God; and be favoured with the experience of the remiſſion of ſins, and obtaining a fixed inheritance amongſt all thoſe who are ſanctified. And we are not afraid to ſay, that the love of Chriſt hath conſtrained us to miniſter, unmixed with any temporal intereſted motive, or view of reward. Through that love, we have been made willing to ſpend our temporal ſubſtance, as well as our ſtrength of body and of faculties, and to ſuffer many hardſhips; yea, to leave what was deareſt to us in nature, and be accounted fools by the wiſe and prudent of this world; ſome of whom have poured upon us contempt, but who profeſſing themſelves to be wife, have manifeſted their fooliſhneſs; and by ſpeaking evil of what they knew not, have evidently been wiſe in their own conceits.

As to us, however we may have been favoured by the Lord, who has accounted us worthy to have a part in this miniſtry, and has at ſeaſons clothed us as with a royal robe, to the aſtoniſhment of even thoſe who have had us in deriſion; all boaſting is excluded, by the pure humbling law of faith in Chriſt, the wiſdom and power of God, and we confeſs with his primitive miniſters, that we have nothing of our own to boaſt of but infirmities, nor have we ought to glory in but his grace to help us; through which we have been rendered equal to the arduous taſks aſſigned us; and willing to turn from proſpects the moſt pleaſing to the natural mind, and to endure croſſes, tribulations, and the contempt of men, for his ſake, who ſo loved us as to die for us; and hath mercifully called us by his grace, to become heirs with him in the kingdom of his Father: and having done all, we have nothing to truſt in but the mercy of God, manifeſted in and through him; and under a ſenſe that all we can do to promote his honour is but little, and that little communicated by his ſtrength, this is ultimately the language of our ſpirits. Not unto us, O Lord! not unto us, but unto thy ever worthy name, or power, be glory forever! Amen.

From Cambridge, one of the ſeats of learning, I wiſh I could ſay of piety, we proceeded to viſit ſome other meetings in this quarter, and coming to Ives, attended the funeral of Samuel Abbot, an elder of good report. The meeting held upon the occaſion was extremely crowded, and many of the principal inhabitants of the town and neighbourhood attended it. It was a ſeaſon of awful ſolemnity, wherein the tide of goſpel miniſtry roſe high, even to the overflowing the mounds of oppoſition; and I believe the people were ſo humbled, that many of them could join us in ſupplication and praiſe to the Lord, who is glorious in holineſs, fearful in praiſes, working wonders. Hence we went (as before hinted) to Huntingdon, our friend John Abbot (ſon to the friend whoſe funeral we had attended) accompanying us. From Huntingdon we proceeded to Ampthill in Bedfordſhire; and in our way paſſed through Potton, intending, if it was convenient, to lodge in that town, with one profeſſing with us. But alas! when we came there, we found the town, which the day before, had been, it was ſaid, one of the prettieſt in the county, in ruins. A terrible fire had raged all night, and was not then in ſome places quite extinguiſhed. Almoſt the whole of a principal ſtreet, through which we walked (not without fear leſt the chimnies, or ſome other parts of the brick or ſtone-work left ſtanding, ſhould fall upon us), and moſt of the houſes in the market-place were conſumed. The fire ſtopped at the next houſe to that which our friend had inhabited. He had time to get his goods out, but had left them, and with his wife was gone to another town where they had relations, and through which we had to paſs, and where, at an inn, we lodged at night, our friend Abbot accompanying us. The view of Potton and its inhabitants was truly pitiable: the goods of the ſufferers were ſcattered about round the town in the fields, and ſome were watching them. The countenances of ſome whom we ſaw in the ſtreets were deeply marked with grief; and the principal ovens being deſtroyed, bread was to be fetched from a town ſome miles diſtant. Our friend John Abbot was ſo touched with the countenance of one poor woman, that after paſſing her, he turned back, and gave her ſomething handſome; but ſhe probably knew not where to buy victuals if ſhe wanted it. The principal inns being burned down or greatly injured, we ſtopped at the houſe of an acquaintance of his, in a part of the town which had eſcaped the fire, who readily gave us ſome refreſhment; and in return, we left with him, towards the preſent relief of the ſufferers, ſo much as excited his thankfulneſs. The next morning we viſited our friends who had fled from Potton, at their relation's; and had a ſolemn religious opportunity with them and others preſent; and proceeding to Ampthill, attended the Firſt-day's meetings there. From Ampthill, John Abbot returned home, and we went pretty directly to Melkſham, appointing ſome meetings in our way thither. Before I came there my ſtrength was extremely exhauſted, and having a concern to attend the Circular yearly meeting to be held at Frome in Somerſetſhire, it appeared neceſſary for me previouſly to take a little reſt. We therefore ſtaid at Melkſham with my affectionate relations Elizabeth Fowler and her ſon and daughter, her huſband being now dead. At Frome, I met with my dear brother James Payton, and many of my relations and friends, and the Lord favoured us together with his preſence. The meetings were large, ſolemn, and eminently crowned with divine life and power, wherein the goſpel was preached by ſeveral miniſters. Nicholas Waln, from Pennſylvania, attended this meeting, and had acceptable ſervice therein. I went directly home; and in my way had a favoured meeting with friends, and many others of the inhabitants of Exeter. My niece Fox accompanied me from Frome to Truro, where my dear huſband met me, to our mutual thankfulneſs. I do not recollect any thing more worth remarking in the remainder of this year, wherein I continued weak, yet attended ſervices about home as they occurred.

In the ſpring of the year 1784, my dear huſband was much indiſpoſed, and from that time was frequently afflicted with a giddineſs in his head; yet he recovered ſo far as to attend the yearly meeting at London, and I accompanied him in much weakneſs; yet I had cauſe to be humbly thankful for the Divine aid vouchſafed to labour, although I was unable to attend all the meetings which were held in the courſe of that ſolemnity.

From London we went to Briſtol, where my huſband had buſineſs; and as I had no inclination to ſtay in that city, proceeded in company with M. and A. Moon, to Wellington. Thence I was accompanied by my dear friend M. Were to William Byrd's at Uffculm; at whoſe houſe we had a favoured meeting with the town's people, and returned to Wellington; where I waited, until my huſband came to me. I was ſtrongly impreſſed with a concern to pay a viſit once more to the few profeſſing Truth in the north ſide of Devonſhire, as well as to hold ſome publick meetings in ſome of the towns which I had heretofore viſited. My huſband knew of my having this proſpect, but when he came to me at Wellington, and ſaw how poorly I was, he almoſt feared for me, and would have been pleaſed if I had been eaſy to have accompanied him directly home. This however not being the caſe, we went on the Firſt-day to Friends meeting at Spice-land, which was attended by a pretty many ſober people, not profeſſing with us; and the Maſter of our aſſemblies, favoured with ſuitable doctrine and counſel, ſo that the truly righteous rejoiced together; and, under the ſenſe of the arm of the Lord being extended to help in the ſeaſons of weakneſs, we proceeded from this meeting to South Molton; and our friends Nicholas and Mary Were, and William and Ann Byrd, accompanied us; as did alſo Thomas Melhuiſh of Taunton. We appointed a meeting to be held there the next morning; but the weather proving very wet, there was ſome doubt how it would be attended; however it was pretty large, and a ſolemn inſtructive ſeaſon. No one profeſſing with us lived in this town, nor had any meeting been appointed there ſince the Circular meeting was held there in 1781. But the remembrance and ſavour of that ſolemnity might continue long upon the minds of religious perſons.

We went that evening to Barnſtaple (except T. Melhuiſh, who returned home), and next day had a meeting there in the Aſſembly-room, which was large, ſolemn, and highly favoured with the Divine power and preſence. I was wonderfully aſſiſted to publiſh goſpel truths, in the demonſtration of the ſpirit, and with power; and it appeared that many who heard, underſtood and were affected, amongſt whom were ſome of the higher rank. O! that ſuch heavenly viſitations might produce fruits of righteouſneſs anſwerable to the labour beſtowed; but alas! they are too frequently like water ſpilled upon a ſtone, which although it wets the ſurface, does not change the obdurate unfruitful nature of the ſtone; and the rain which has deſcended upon it, is ſo quickly dried up, that there remains no evidence of its having been watered.

Indeed the ſtone is, agreeable to its nature, unfruitful, and muſt remain ſo. But what ſaid the apoſtle unto thoſe whoſe hearts were like ground, which, although it was often watered, brought forth nothing more profitable than briers and thorns. It is nigh unto curſing, whoſe end is to be burned.

It is extremely dangerous trifling with the Lord's merciful viſitation to the ſoul, as time is uncertain: therefore thoſe who hear, have need to be concerned to obey the call of God to a renovation of mind and manners, that their ſouls may live.

From Barnſtaple, we went to Great Torrington, and had a large and I hope ſerviceable meeting there, although not ſo diſtinguiſhedly favoured as that of Barnſtaple had been. My dear friends A. Byrd and M. Were had acceptable ſervice in the before-mentioned meetings; as well as in miniſtering to the few friends who were ſcattered about the country, who met us at one place or other; and we had private religious opportunities with them, ſo that they were generally viſited. I was favoured with much freedom to ſpeak to them in the love of Chriſt, and therein to take my farewel of them; for this proved to be my laſt viſit. There were never many friends ſettled on the north ſide of Devonſhire. I know not of a meeting-houſe having been built in any town I have viſited there; yet a few, ſome of them having been gathered from other profeſſions of religion, were ſcattered about in this quarter, and held meetings at their houſes.

W. Byrd and his wife left us at Torrington; but Nicholas Were and his wife concluded to accompany us to Hatherly, twelve miles farther, where I had a deſire to have a meeting; and their being ſo diſpoſed proved very ſerviceable to us.

There having been a large fair for cattle the day before we came to Hatherly, and the farmers ſcarcely all gone from the place, we found the inn in ſuch diſorder as to render it doubtful how we ſhould lodge. However, the landlady got clean linen, and our friends Were and ourſelves got lodging; but ſome men friends who met us from Exon, were obliged to ſhift for themſelves as well as they could; and a young woman who accompanied them was provided for with us. The town was ſmall, and in ſuch a hurry, that it appeared a poor time to get a meeting. The weather was alſo very wet on this and the next day; but ſome of the town's people being informed of our view in coming, intereſted themſelves in procuring us a meeting place, and we were furniſhed with one as commodious as we could expect. Many aſſiſted to ſeat a part of it; and the weather continuing wet, prevented ſome of the inhabitants from going to their labour, ſo that I know not but our meeting was the larger through that circumſtance. The people behaved well, many were content to ſtand, and we were favoured with a ſolemn meeting amongſt them. No meeting had been held in this place for very many years; ſo that moſt of our auditors appeared ignorant of our religious principles and manner of worſhip; but our viſit was received with expreſſions of pleaſure and gratitude by ſome, and we left the place with thankful hearts, each of us ſettiog our faces homeward the ſame evening. My health continued declining, and my huſband's complaint of giddineſs returned pretty frequently. We did not go far from home for the remainder of this year.

In 1785 my huſband was inclined to attend the yearly meeting at London, and deſirous of my accompanying him. I was ſo weighed down with painful ſenſations, and my joints ſo much contracted, and he ſo ſubject to the giddineſs in his head, that I ſuggeſted to him the propriety of our conſidering whether it was ſafe for us to venture upon ſuch a journey: to which he replied, that his mind was ſtrongly drawn to the yearly meeting, and ſaid, that it would be the laſt he ſhould attend. In our way thereto we were at the meeting of Bridport on the Firſt-day; and I appointed a meeting at Andover, which was large, and eminently favoured with the Divine power and preſence. Samuel Emlen and George Dillwyn, both of Philadelphia, attended this meeting; but the principal ſhare of the miniſtry reſted upon me: indeed I had long had a view to a meeting in this town, and this proved to be the laſt time I paſſed through it. When we reached London, I was in a very weak ſtate, but was enabled to attend the meetings in their courſe. At the yearly meeting in the preceding year, our men-friends had weightily conſidered the ſtate of our women's yearly meeting; and it appearing that it might become of more general ſervice, if the queries for women-friends, which are anſwered from their monthly to their quarterly meetings, were alſo anſwered from the quarterly to the yearly meeting of women, they ſent a minute to the quarterly and monthly meetings to that import; and this year anſwers were ſent from ſome quarterly meetings, and women-friends attended as repreſentatives. But it being a new thing, and the propriety or neceſſity of it not fully underſtood by all our women-friends, an epiſtle was written, ſetting forth the riſe and uſe of the diſcipline eſtabliſhed amongſt us, and encouraging women-friends to attend to their ſhare of it. As mothers of children and miſtreſſes of families, they have an extenſive ſervice to attend to, and ought to be concerned ſo to diſcipline their families, as to be able to anſwer the ſeveral queries relative to their ſituation.

My mind being drawn to viſit the quarterly meeting of Hertfordſhire, I intimated it to my friend Elizabeth Talwyn of Bromley, who kindly took me and my dear companion Lydia Hawkſworth thereto in her coach; and this was my farewel viſit to Friends there. As I knew that my huſband as well as myſelf wiſhed to leave London as ſoon as we could with eaſe of mind, I requeſted that notice might be ſent to the ſeveral meetings near to that of Chorley Wood, that I hoped to be there on the next Firſt-day, and ſhould be pleaſed to ſee as many as could meet me there. The meeting-houſe was pretty full, it was a favoured ſeaſon, and the laſt meeting I had in that part of the kingdom. That night we lodged with our friend Robert Eeles near Amerſham, by whom and his kind wife I had ſeveral times been affectionately entertained. Next day we reached Banbury, had a meeting with friends there, on the next morning, and after taking an affectionate leave of my near relation S. Stone, we proceeded that night to Warwick. My ſiſter received us affectionately, though not without concern to ſee me ſo much enfeebled. My joints were ſo contracted that it was become difficult for me to walk; and throughout this journey I was aſſiſted in dreſſing; and my inward weakneſs was alſo very apparent, ſo that it appeared probable that this might be our laſt interview, I attended one meeting with friends at Warwick, wherein the Divine ſpring of goſpel miniſtry was opened to the refreſhment of religious minds; and, after taking my laſt perſonal farewel of my dear ſiſter, we went to Coventry, had an evening meeting there, which was pretty generally attended by friends and ſome intelligent people not profeſſing with us; and the Lord favoured us together in a memorable degree. The ſubjects given me to ſpeak upon, were the awfulneſs and importance of paſſing through time, conſidering the conſequences depending thereupon, and the ſolemnity of paſſing out of it, even to the beſt of men. For although ſuch might be favoured with a well-grounded hope of participating in the inheritance which is undefiled and fadeth not away; and might rejoice at the approach of the hour of releaſe from the pains and ſolicitudes attendant in this probationary ſtate; it was a ſeaſon, wherein, from the conſideration of the purity of Chriſt's kingdom, they might think it needful to examine whether their ſpirits were ſo clean, as to be meet for admittance thereinto. But to the wicked it was a terrible hour. Many ſtriking remarks, directed to divers ſtates, were given me to make; and I was favoured to deliver them in conciſe, yet ſtrong terms, to the affecting the minds of many preſent: and thus, taking leave of that city, we proceeded next day to Birmingham, attended the Firſt-day meeting there, and thence to Dudley. We ſtaid a few days with my brother, attended one meeting there, and another at Stourbridge, afterwards went to Worceſter, and were at the Firſt-day meetings there.

As my caſe appeared alarming, and ſome of my friends adviſed my making trial of Buxton water, my huſband, when we were at Birmingham, took the adviſe of a phyſician of note, who did not chooſe to preſcribe for me, nor encourage my going to Buxton; but adviſed our calling at Bath, but cautioned me againſt drinking the waters, or bathing, without taking further advice there: ſo taking leave of our brother James Payton and friends at Worceſter, we proceeded directly to Bath. The advice I there had was to return home, drink the Bath water there, and purſue the courſe of medicine preſcribed. The weather was then too hot for me either to bathe, or drink the water there, but it was left to further conſideration whether I ſhould return there in the fall.

Weak as I was, I had two meetings at Bath; in one of which I had a ſtrong and clear teſtimony directed to a ſtate which in youth had been Divinely viſited, and made ſome advances in the path of ſelf-denial; but in more advanced age, had ſought after worldly wiſdom and knowledge, and the friendſhip of thoſe in that ſpirit, and had loſt the heavenly dew of youth.

There was a perſon in the ſtate deſcribed, in the meeting, who was much affected, and died in a ſhort time. How does Divine mercy follow the backſliders from his holy commandment, with the gracious call of Turn ye, why will you die?

From Bath, we went to Briſtol, where my huſband had buſineſs, and where I left him, and went to John Hipſley's at Congerſbury, was at the meeting of Claverham on the Firſt-day, and returning to Congerſbury, ſtaid there until my huſband's buſineſs permitted him to return home: to which we went directly, myſelf in a feeble ſtate, but my huſband appeared to be as well as when we left it.

After our return from London, my huſband's time and attention were very much engroſſed by buſineſs relative to the mining intereſts in this county. Some alteration in the courſe of the trade appeared neceſſary, and as he had from his youth been engaged in the copper trade, and was well acquainted with the ſtate of it, both in the paſt and preſent times, much regard was paid to his judgment, by many who attended at the meetings held on the occaſion: and his ſolicitude for its ſettlement to the advantage of the labouring miners, as well as for allowing the adventurers, and others engaged in the trade, a proſpect of a reaſonable profit, was ſuch, that under the continued exertion of his faculties for ſeveral weeks, his ſtrength evidently declined.

The Circular yearly meeting falling this year in Cornwall, had been at our ſpring quarterly meeting appointed to be held at Truro, the 7th, 8th, and 9th of the Eighth month, which was ſeveral weeks earlier than it was cuſtomary to hold that meeting. This had occaſioned ſome demur in the minds of ſome friends, who doubted whether thoſe of the diſtant counties might be ſo generally at liberty to attend it, as if it ſhould be held in its uſual courſe; and ſome friends gave a preference to another town for the meeting. But my huſband having attentively conſidered when and where to fix this important ſolemnity, under a concern that the All-wiſe Director would deign to influence the minds of Friends therein, was ſteady in his judgment that both the time and place propoſed were right: and the event ſhewed that he was not miſtaken. He with other friends were engaged in preparing accommodation for this meeting, and the town's people were very ready to aſſiſt. A large booth was erected to hold it in, and other places were procured, if that ſhould not be ſufficient to contain the people.

I was yet in a feeble ſtate, and as it appeared to me improbable that the meeting would be attended by ſo many miniſters and friends of religious weight, from the diſtant counties conſtituting it, and other parts of the nation, as in ſome paſt years, my ſpirit was weighed down under a ſenſe of the great importance of the ſervice, and the diſproportion of my natural ſtrength to the labour of ſo large meetings. My faith was indeed ready to fail; but I cried unto the Lord, in the language of Samſon, If the teſtimony of his Truth might but be exalted through me as an inſtrument, "let me die," if it be thy will, in this great effort to overcome the Philiſtine nature in the people: and this proved to be the laſt of thoſe general meetings which I attended. In the night before we went to Truro, my dear huſband was ſo much indiſpoſed with the giddineſs in his head, that he propoſed to me to go to Truro, and leave him to take an emetic, which he hoped might eaſe his head, and to come to me the next morning. I was reluctant to leave him behind me, and it was well I did not, as the ſtraining to vomit would probably have produced inſtant death. He grew bettter towards mid-day, and accompanied me to Truro, where we met with many of our friends, and he regained his wonted cheerfulneſs and activity, and was very ſerviceable during the courſe of the meetings, in regulating the holding of them, ſettling the people, and taking ſhare in the care that nothing might happen amongſt our young people at the ſeveral inns, which might tend to ſhade the teſtimony of that pure Truth, which we met to propagate, from very diſtant parts of the nation. The concourſe of people, eſpecially of thoſe not profeſſing with us, was very great, and not a few of them of the higher rank. Many came far to attend the meetings, and behaved with becoming decency, conſiſtently with ſo ſolemn an occaſion. The booth, though as large as a good voice could well extend over to be diſtinctly heard, would not near contain the people; ſo that friends were obliged to hold a meeting in the afternoons of the 7th and 8th in another place.

This conſequently tended to divide the miniſters to the ſeveral meetings, and, as I had foreſeen, much of the ſervice of the meetings in the booth devolved upon me; yet not ſo, but that ſome other miniſters had an acceptable ſhare therein. The teſtimony of Truth was largely and freely declared, and aroſe in its native dignity, and clearneſs; ſo that very many not profeſſing with us aſſented to the truths preached. The public meetings concluded on the 9th before dinner, under the overſhadowing wing of Divine love, life, and power. The minds of many friends were comfortably impreſſed with a ſenſe of the continued extendings of the heavenly Shepherd's care over us as a religious Society; as well as of his condeſcenſion in cauſing his goſpel call to go forth amongſt others, and they turned their faces homeward in the afternoon, in humble thankfulneſs.

Here I may obſerve, as it hath occurred to me when attending thoſe large general meetings, how different in their nature and tendency theſe meetings are, to thoſe which are appointed by profeſſing Chriſtians for amuſement, wherein there is much noiſy mirth, and unchriſtian jollity: and if in ſome of them, the entainments, in one part of the day, have an outward and pompous ſhew of religion, under the vain and falſe pretence of praiſing God with the voice, accompanied with inſtruments of muſick, in the repetition of ſome of the moſt ſublime and inſtructive parts of Scripture; in another part of it, the Chriſtian name is ſhamefully diſhonoured, by the amuſements, which ſucceed what they call their ſacred oratorios. I have been ſhocked in the conſideration, of the expreſſions of holy men of God, who penned them as the Holy Spirit dictated them, and ſome awful inſtructive hiſtorical parts of Scripture, becoming proſtituted to the purpoſe of amuſement; and furniſhing occaſion for many nominal Chriſtians to aſſemble, to gratify their inclinations to pride, vanity, and pompous appearances, as well as in ſome inſtances, the practiſing of groſs wickedneſs: inſomuch, that it may be ſaid with truth, the Lord of Purity abhors their religious mockery, and their ſeemingly ſolemn meetings are iniquity; and as ſuch, an abomination in his holy eyes, who cannot be impoſed upon by ſpecious pretences, nor bribed by donations given for diſtreſſed objects, to withhold his righteous judgments; which will aſſuredly be executed, in their appointed ſeaſon, on all the proud, and thoſe who work wickedneſs. How different to theſe (I ſay again and without oſtentation), are the meetings, of which in the courſe of theſe memoirs I have ſo frequently given an account! whereto many friends reſort, from very diſtant places and at a very conſiderable expenſe, with a view to the edifying of others by the pure doctrines which may be freely preached in their publick aſſemblies, and by a conduct conſiſtent with Chriſtian morality and rectitude; and with deſires to be edified together in the preſence of the Lord, in whoſe preſence there is life, and at whoſe right hand there are pleaſures, ſublime, and everlaſtingly durable. My ſpirit worſhips in the ſenſe of the foretaſte of them, which I have experienced in the preſent ſtate; and in the hope, which cheers in the painful ſeaſons and afflictive occurrences attendant thereon, that finally, the immortal ſpirit will be ſolaced in the ineſtimable, and, by it unmerited, reward which is appointed for the righteous, and is unmixed with ſorrow.

From this, I hope not ill-timed, digreſſion, I return to the 10th of the Eighth month; when ſeveral of the miniſters who had attended the meetings at Truro were at ours at Redruth: amongſt whom was my friend Hawkſworth, worth, who came with intent to ſpend ſome time with us, in hope that we might be favoured together with a little reſt both of body and mind, which might tend to the recruiting our ſtrength. But alas! although this important ſolemnity was ſo well over, and my dear huſband's engagements in temporal concerns now ſat comparatively light, and we were cheered for two days, the third evinced the inſtability of all human comforts. On the 11th, our friend, T. Bevington of Worceſter, came to pay us a ſhort viſit. He expreſſed an inclination to have a meeting with the town's people; and my huſband going, as he was accuſtomed upon ſuch occaſions, to inform ſome of them that a meeting would be held that evening, was obſerved to do it with rather more than common ſolemnity and tenderneſs of ſpirit. I hope the meeting was ſerviceable, and we ſpent the evening agreeably with our friends.

In the morning of the 12th, T. Bevington left his place pretty early, and my dear huſband aroſe before me in ſeemingly uſual health, and ate ſome breakfaſt, but was ſuddenly ſeized with an acute pain in his breaſt. He came and found me dreſſing, and told me that the pain was extreme, but ſaid that he conceived it was only on the muſcles, and might be rheumatick, but that he could cover the ſpot affected with his finger. He choſe to undreſs and go into bed, and complained of cold. I ſent for an apothecary who apprehended no danger in his caſe, and gave him a ſmall doſe of paregoric elixir, which operated to quiet him and ſtupify his pain. I left a ſervant with him, and got ſome breakfaſt, and returning found him rather inclined to ſleep, ſo, having ſome family concerns to attend to, I left him again. The maid who was left with him ſaid he complained of a return of his pain and ſhe ſoon perceived ſuch an alteration as occaſioned her to ring the bell violently, on which my friend Lydia Hawkſworth and I haſtened to the chamber. She came ſoon enough to ſee him draw his laſt breath; but my lameneſs not permitting me to make ſo much ſpeed, and the maid preventing me from immediately approaching his bed-ſide, I ſaw only a breathleſs corpſe.

Thus ended the valuable life of my dearly beloved William Phillips, in the manner he had repeatedly expreſſed a deſire it might end, that is ſuddenly; though not altogether unexpectedly by himſelf, as may have been noticed by what I have noted before we ſet out on our late journey. He intimated to me, that his proſpects in regard to ſervice in the preſent ſtate were much cloſed; and that in reſpect to the future he had no cloud before him; and he would ſpeak of the ſolemn cloſe with that eaſe that diſcovered he expected no ſting of conſcience in his death: but the reaſon he gave for wiſhing (in ſubmiſſion to the Divine will) that it might be ſudden, was, that he had felt ſo little pain in paſſing through time, until he had attained the common age of man, that he doubted whether if tried with it in the awful ſeaſon of death, he ſhould ſupport it with that calm, patient dignity, which graces the cloſe of a Chriſtian life.

By appearances upon his body when it was cold, it was evident that a large blood veſſel had broken in his breaſt; although not the leaſt indication of ſuch an event appeared by any diſcharge from the mouth, whilſt he was alive. His deſire of attending the meeting at Truro was gratified, which had not been the caſe had it been held in its uſual courſe. Neither is it probable that I could have attended and laboured therein with that ſtrength of mind I was favoured to do, had this important ſtroke been executed before that meeting: for although I was preſerved from ſinking into a ſtate of condemnable ſorrow; the ſhock attending it could not be ſuſtained without my already much enfeebled nature ſuffering by it. We had lived in the tender endearing connection of marriage ſomewhat more than thirteen years, after a friendſhip of about three-and-twenty. The tie of natural affection betwixt us was ſtrong, ariſing from a ſimilarity of ſentiments, which was ſtrengthened by an infinitely higher connection. Indeed he was a man who commanded love, eſteem, and reſpect, from his numerous relations, friends, and acquaintance, in their different ranks and ſtations. He was extenſively uſeful without priding himſelf with it, and he commanded the aſſent of the judgment of thoſe, amongſt whom he might be looked upon as a principal, in the tranſactions of buſineſs, by ſound reaſoning rather than by overbearing. Such was his publick character, drawn, as far as it goes, not beyond the life, though by his afflicted affectionate widow.

She alſo beſt knew his private virtues, and engaging manners, exemplified in his family connections, friendſhips, and the general tenor of his conduct; and therefore may ſay, that he was a kind maſter, an affectionate father, and a warm and ſteady friend; always ready to ſerve his relations, friends, and neighbours, by advice, or as an executor, or referee in diſputed caſes. An affectionately tender huſband—Ah, me! how ſhall I delineate this part of his character! Bound to me by the endearing ties of love and friendſhip, heightened by religious ſympathy, his reſpect as well as affection, was apparent to our friends and acquaintance. His abilities to aſſiſt me in my religious engagements were conſpicuous; for although he had no ſhare in the miniſterial labour, he was ready to promote it. His natural temper, though quick, was ſoft and complaiſant; a man of exact order in his buſineſs, and ſtrict oeconomy, even to minute circumſtances; yet prudently liberal in his expenſes, and charitable to the poor.

In his religious character, he was firmly fixed in his principles agreeably to his profeſſion, and concerned to act conſiſtently with them; but, clothed with charity towards all men, he rejoiced if a reformation of mind and manners was wrought amongſt mankind, whoever were the inſtruments of it. His experience in the ſpirituality of religion was deeper than even ſome of his friends might conceive; as it was ſometimes concealed under the veil of cheerfulneſs, which predominated in his conſtitution; or ſecreted, through his averſion to make any oſtentatious ſhew of it; but when called up to ſome ſervices in Chriſt's church, it was evident that he had been inſtructed in his ſchool. His faith and truſt in the Divine power, wiſdom, and providence, were ſtrong; which enabled him to ſuſtain diſappointment and worldly loſſes with firmneſs. In this he was tried in ſome inſtances, to a degree which would have ſhaken many minds; but he would ſay, If a part is gone, I have many mercies left to be thankful for; and he therefore endeavoured to preſerve his wonted calmneſs and cheerfulneſs.

And when Death's ſolemn ſhaft with ſwiftneſs flew, Prepar'd he ſtood, and no confuſion knew; Sudden the ſtroke, but peaceful was his end; Angels his conſorts, and his Lord his friend. Belov'd and honour'd, ſee, his ſpirit ſoars To heavenly manſions, and his God adores.

If any peruſe what I have written, who had but partial knowledge of him, they may perhaps conclude me too abundant in encomiums upon him. But there are who can ſubſcribe to their truth, and who might add their teſtimony to his worth and abilities as a man, and a uſeful member of the community at large, as well as an honourable one of the religious ſociety of Friends: and if his deſcendants in the natural line, ſucceed him in that of virtue and piety, they will value this attempt to delineate his character.

My dear brother was faſt declining in his health. He had lately received an alarm, by a ſtroke of the Palſy, to trim his lamp, unto which I hope he attended. He was now in part recovered, but in the ſucceeding ſpring was reviſited by that diſtreſſing diſorder, which quickly terminated his life; in the cloſe whereof he was favoured with the cheering proſpect of his immortal ſpirit's centering in everlaſting bleſſedneſs. He was endowed with a very good natural underſtanding, which in the latter part of his life was ſo much employed for the aſſiſtance of his friends and neighbours, both of the town and country wherein he reſided, that he had as much buſineſs in accommodating diſputes about property, and other acts of kind aid as his ſtrength would well bear. He died beloved, and his loſs was regretted by both the rich and poor.