CHAP. I.

I HAVE often felt a motion of love to leave some hints in writing of my ex­perience of the goodness of God: and now, in the thirty-sixth year of my age, I begin this work.

I was born in Northampton, in Burling­ton county, West-Jersey, in the Year 1720; and before I was seven years old I began to [Page 2] be acquainted with the operations of divine love. Through the care of my parents, I was taught to read near as soon as I was capable of it; and as I went from school one seventh day, I remember, while my companions went to play by the way, I went forward out of sight, and sitting down, I read the 22d chap­ter of the Revelations. ‘He shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as chry­stal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb, &c.’ and in reading it, my mind was drawn to seek after that pure habitation, which, I then believed, God had prepared for his servants. The place where I sate, and the sweetness that attended my mind, remains fresh in my memory.

This, and the like gracious visitations, had that effect upon me, that when boys used ill language, it troubled me; and, through the continued mercies of God, I was pre­served from it.

The pious instructions of my parents were often fresh in my mind when I happened to be among wicked children, and were of use to me. My parents, having a large family of children, used frequently, on first days after meeting, to put us to read in the holy scriptures, or some religious books, one after another, the rest sitting by without much conversation; which, I have since often thought, was a good practice. From what I had read and heard, I believed there had been, in past ages, peo­ple who walked in uprightness before God, in a degree exceeding any that I knew, or [Page 3] heard of, now living: and the apprehension of there being less steadiness and firmness amongst people in this age than in past ages, often troubled me while I was a child.

A thing remarkable in my childhood was, that once going to a neighbour's house, I saw, on the way, a robin sitting on her nest, and as I came near she went off, but having young ones flew about, and with many cries expressed her concern for them; I stood and threw stones at her, till one strik­ing her, she fell down dead: at first I was pleased with the exploit, but after a few mi­nutes was seized with horror, as having, in a sportive way, killed an innocent creature while she was careful for her young: I be­held her lying dead, and thought those young ones, for which she was so careful, must now perish for want of their dam to nourish them; and after some painful considerations on the subject, I climbed up the tree, took all the young birds, and killed them; supposing that better than to leave them to pine away and die miserably: and believed, in this case, that scripture proverb was fulfilled, ‘The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.’ I then went on my errand, but, for some hours, could think of little else but the cru­elties I had committed, and was much trou­bled. Thus He, whose tender mercies are over all his works, hath placed a principle in the human mind, which incites to exer­cise goodness towards every living creature; and this being singly attended to, people [Page 4] become tender-hearted and sympathizing; but being frequently and totally rejected, the mind becomes shut up in a contrary dispo­sition.

About the twelfth year of my age, my father being abroad, my mother reproved me for some misconduct, to which I made an undutiful reply; and the next first day, as I was with my father returning from meeting, he told me he understood I had behaved amiss to my mother, and advised me to be more careful in future. I knew myself blameable, and in shame and confu­sion remained silent. Being thus awakened to a sense of my wickedness, I felt remorse in my mind, and getting home, I retired and prayed to the Lord to forgive me; and do not remember that I ever, after that, spoke unhandsomely to either of my parents, how­ever foolish in some other things.

Having attained the age of sixteen years, I began to love wanton company; and though I was preserved from profane language, or scandalous conduct, still I perceived a plant in me which produced much wild grapes: yet my merciful Father forsook me not utterly, but at times, through his grace, I was brought seriously to consider my ways; and the sight of my backslidings affected me with sorrow; but for want of rightly attending to the re­proofs of instruction, vanity was added to vanity, and repentance to repentance: upon the whole, my mind was more and more ali­enated from the truth, and I hastened to­ward [Page 5] destruction. While I meditate on the gulf towards which I travelled, and reflect on my youthful disobedience, for these things I weep, mine eye runneth down with water.

Advancing in age the number of my ac­quaintance increased, and thereby my way grew more difficult: though I had found comfort in reading the holy scriptures, and thinking on heavenly things, I was now estranged therefrom: I knew I was going from the flock of Christ, and had no resolu­tion to return; hence serious reflections were uneasy to me, and youthful vanities and di­versions my greatest pleasure. Running in this road I found many like myself; and we associated in that which is reverse to true friendship.

But in this swift race it pleased God to vi­sit me with sickness, so that I doubted of recovering; and then did darkness, horror, and amazement, with full force, seize me, even when my pain and distress of body was very great. I thought it would have been better for me never to have had a being, than to see the day which I now saw. I was filled with confusion; and in great affliction, both of mind and body, I lay and bewailed my­self. I had not confidence to lift up my cries to God, whom I had thus offended; but, in a deep sense of my great folly, I was hum­bled before him: and, at length, that Word which is as a fire and a hammer, broke and dissolved my rebellious heart, and then my cries were put up in contrition; and in the [Page 6] multitude of his mercies I found inward re­lief, and felt a close engagement, that if he was pleased to restore my health, I might walk humbly before him.

After my recovery, this exercise remained with me a considerable time; but, by de­grees, giving way to youthful vanities, they gained strength, and getting with wanton young people I lost ground. The Lord had been very gracious, and spoke peace to me in the time of my distress; and I now most ungratefully turned again to folly; on which account, at times, I felt sharp reproof, but did not get low enough to cry for help. I was not so hardy as to commit things scan­dalous; but to exceed in vanity, and pro­mote mirth, was my chief study. Still I re­tained a love and esteem for pious people; and their company brought an awe upon me. My dear parents, several times, admonished me in the fear of the Lord, and their ad­monition entered into my heart, and had a good effect for a season; but not getting deep enough to pray rightly, the tempter, when he came, found entrance. I remem­ber, once having spent a part of the day in wantonness as I went to bed at night, there lay in a window, near my bed, a bible, which I opened, and first cast my eye on the text, ‘we lie down in our shame, and our confusion covers us;’ this I knew to be my case: and meeting with so unexpected a reproof, I was somewhat affected with it, and [Page 7] went to bed under remorse of conscience; which I soon cast off again.

Thus time past on: my heart was reple­nished with mirth and wantonness, while pleasing scenes of vanity were presented to my imagination, till I attained the age of eighteen years; near which time I felt the judgments of God, in my soul, like a con­suming fire; and looking over my past life, the prospect was moving.—I was often sad, and longed to be delivered from those vani­ties; then again, my heart was strongly in­clined to them, and there was in me a sore conflict: at times I turned to folly; and then again, sorrow and confusion took hold of me. In a while, I resolved totally to leave off some of my vanities; but there was a secret reserve in my heart, of the more refined part of them, and I was not low enough to find true peace. Thus, for some months, I had great troubles; there remaining in me an un­subjected will, which rendered my labours fruitless, till at length, through the merciful continuance of heavenly visitations, I was made to bow down in spirit before the Lord. I remember one evening I had spent some time in reading a pious author; and walking out alone, I humbly prayed to the Lord for his help, that I might be delivered from all those vanities which so ensnared me. Thus being brought low, he helped me; and as I learned to bear the cross, I felt refreshment to come from his presence; but not keeping in that strength which gave victory, I lost ground [Page 8] again; the sense of which greatly affected me: and I sought deserts and lonely places, and there with tears did confess my sins to God, and humbly craved help of him. And I may say with reverence, he was near to me in my troubles, and in those times of humi­liation opened my ear to discipline. I was now led to look seriously at the means by which I was drawn from the pure truth, and learned this, that if I would live in the life which the faithful servants of God lived in, I must not go into company as heretofore in my own will; but all the cravings of sense must be governed by a divine principle. In times of sorrow and abasement these instruc­tions were sealed upon me, and I felt the power of Christ prevail over selfish desires, so that I was preserved in a good degree of stea­diness; and being young, and believing, at that time, that a single life was best for me, I was strengthened to keep from such com­pany as had often been a snare to me.

I kept steadily to meetings; spent first days afternoon chiefly in reading the scriptures and other good books; and was early con­vinced in my mind, that true religion con­sisted in an inward life, wherein the heart doth love and reverence God the Creator, and learns to exercise true justice and goodness, not only toward all men, but also toward the brute creatures—That as the mind was mov­ed, by an inward principle, to love God as an invisible incomprehensible Being; by the same principle it was moved to love him in [Page 9] all his manifestations in the visible world—That, as by his breath, the flame of life was kindled in all animal sensible creatures, to say we love God as unseen, and, at the same time, exercise cruelty toward the least creature mov­ing by his life, or by life derived from him; was a contradiction in itself.

I found no narrowness respecting sects and opinions; but believed, that sincere upright hearted people, in every society, who truly love God, were accepted of him.

As I lived under the cross, and simply fol­lowed the openings of truth, my mind, from day to day, was more enlightened; my for­mer acquaintance were left to judge of me as they would, for I found it safest for me to live in private, and keep these things sealed up in my own breast. While I silently pon­der on that change wrought in me, I find no language equal to it, nor any means to con­vey to another a clear idea of it. I looked upon the works of God in this visible crea­tion, and an awfulness covered me; my heart was tender and often contrite, and universal love to my fellow-creatures increased in me: this will be understood by such who have trodden in the same path. Some glances of real beauty may be seen in their faces, who dwell in true meekness.

There is a harmony in the sound of that voice to which divine love gives utterance, and some appearance of right order in their temper and conduct, whose passions are re­gulated; yet all these do not fully shew forth [Page 10] that inward life to such who have not felt it: but this white stone and new name is known rightly to such only who have it.

Now though I had been thus strengthened to bear the cross, I still found myself in great danger, having many weaknesses attending me, and strong temptations to wrestle with; in the feeling whereof I frequently withdrew into private places, and often with tears be­sought the Lord to help me, whose gracious ear was open to my cry.

All this time I lived with my parents, and wrought on the plantation; and having had schooling pretty well for a planter, I used to improve it in winter-evenings, and other lei­sure times; and being now in the twenty-first year of my age, a man, in much busi­ness at shop-keeping and baking, asked me, if I would hire with him to tend shop and keep books. I acquainted my father with the proposal; and, after some deliberation, it was agreed for me to go.

At home I had lived retired; and now hav­ing a prospect of being much in the way of company, I felt frequent and fervent cries in my heart to God, the Father of mercies, that he would preserve me from all taint and cor­ruption; that, in this more public employ­ment, I might serve Him, my gracious Re­deemer, in that humility and self-denial, with which I had been, in a small degree, ex­ercised in a more private life. The man, who employed me, furnished a shop in Mount-Holly, about five miles from my father's [Page 11] house, and six from his own; and there I lived alone, and tended his shop. Shortly af­ter my settlement here, I was visited by seve­ral young people my former acquaintance, who knew not but vanities would be as agree­able to me now as ever; and, at these times, I cried to the Lord in secret for wisdom and strength; for I felt myself encompassed with difficulties, and had fresh occasion to bewail the follies of time past, in contracting a fa­miliarity with libertine people: and as I had now left my father's house outwardly, I found my heavenly Father to be merciful to me be­yond what I can express.

By day I was much amongst people, and had many trials to go through; but in the evenings, I was mostly alone, and may with thankfulness acknowledge, that, in those times, the spirit of supplication was often poured upon me; under which I was fre­quently exercised, and felt my strength re­newed.

In a few months after I came here, my master bought several Scotchmen servants, from on board a vessel, and brought them to Mount-Holly to sell; one of which was ta­ken sick, and died.

In the latter part of his sickness, he, being delirious, used to curse and swear most sor­rowfully; and the next night after his buri­al, I was left to sleep alone in the same cham­ber where he died: I perceived in me a timo­rousness; I knew, however, I had not injured the man, but assisted in taking care of him [Page 12] according to my capacity; and was not free to ask any one, on that occasion, to sleep with me: nature was feeble; but every tryal was a fresh incitement to give myself up wholly to the service of God, for I found no helper like him in times of trouble.

After a while, my former acquaintance gave over expecting me as one of their company; and I began to be known to some whose con­versation was helpful to me: and now, as I had experienced the love of God, through Jesus Christ, to redeem me from many pol­lutions, and to be a succour to me through a sea of conflicts, with which no person was fully acquainted; and as my heart was often enlarged in this heavenly principle, I felt a tender compassion for the youth, who re­mained entangled in snares like those which had entangled me from one time to another: this love and tenderness increased; and my mind was more strongly engaged for the good of my fellow-creatures. I went to meetings in an awful frame of mind, and endeavoured to be inwardly acquainted with the language of the true Shepherd; and one day, being under a strong exercise of spirit, I stood up, and said some words in a meeting; but not keeping close to the divine opening, I said more than was required of me; and being soon sensible of my error, I was afflicted in mind some weeks, without any light or comfort, even to that degree that I could not take satisfac­tion in any thing: I remembered God, and was troubled; and, in the depth of my dis­tress, [Page 13] he had pity upon me, and sent the Comforter: I then felt forgiveness for my of­fence, and my mind became calm and quiet, being truly thankful to my gracious Re­deemer for his mercies; and after this, feel­ing the spring of divine love opened, and a concern to speak, I said a few words in a meeting, in which I found peace; this, I believe, was about six weeks from the first time: and, as I was thus humbled and dis­ciplined under the cross, my understanding became more strengthened to distinguish the pure spirit which inwardly moves upon the heart, and taught me to wait in silence some­times many weeks together, until I felt that rise which prepares the creature to stand like a trumpet, through which the Lord speaks to his flock.

From an inward purifying, and stedfast abiding under it, springs a lively operative desire for the good of others: all the faith­ful are not called to the public ministry; but whoever are, are called to minister of that which they have tasted and handled spiritu­ally. The outward modes of worship are va­rious; but wherever any are true ministers of Jesus Christ, it is from the operation of his spirit upon their hearts, first purifying them, and thus giving them a just sense of the conditions of others.

This truth was early fixed in my mind; and I was taught to watch the pure opening, and to take heed, lest, while I was standing to speak, my own will should get uppermost, [Page 14] and cause me to utter words from worldly wisdom, and depart from the channel of the true gospel ministry. In the management of my outward affairs, I may say with thank­fulness, I found truth to be my support; and I was respected in my master's family, who came to live in Mount-Holly within two years after my going there.

About the twenty-third year of my age, I had many fresh and heavenly openings, in respect to the care and providence of the Al­mighty over his creatures in general, and over man as the most noble amongst those which are visible. And being clearly con­vinced in my judgment, that to place my whole trust in God was best for me, I felt re­newed engagements, that in all things I might act on an inward principle of virtue, and pursue worldly business no further, than as truth opened my way therein.

About the time called Christmas, I observ­ed many people from the country, and dwell­ers in town, who, resorting to publick-houses, spent their time in drinking and vain sports, tending to corrupt one another; on which account I was much troubled. At one house in particular there was much disorder; and I believed it was a duty incumbent on me to go and speak to the master of that house. I con­sidered I was young, and that several elderly friends in town had opportunity to see these things; but though I would gladly have been excused, yet I could not feel my mind clear.

[Page 15] The exercise was heavy: and as I was read­ing what the Almighty said to Ezekiel, re­specting his duty as a watchman, the matter was set home more clearly; and then, with prayers and tears, I besought the Lord for his assistance, who, in loving-kindness, gave me a resigned heart: then, at a suitable op­portunity, I went to the publick-house; and seeing the man amongst much company, I went to him, and told him, I wanted to speak with him; so we went aside, and there, in the fear and dread of the Almighty, I exprest to him what rested on my mind; which he took kindly, and afterward shewed more re­gard to me than before. In a few years af­terwards he died, middle-aged; and I of­ten thought, that had I neglected my duty in that case, it would have given me great trouble; and I was humbly thankful to my gracious Father, who had supported me here­in.

My employer having a negro woman, sold her, and desired me to write a bill of sale, the man being waiting who bought her: the thing was sudden; and though the thoughts of writing an instrument of slavery for one of my fellow-creatures felt uneasy, yet I re­membered I was hired by the year, that it was my master who directed me to do it, and that it was an elderly man, a member of our society, who bought her; so, through weak­ness, I gave way, and wrote it; but, at the executing it, I was so afflicted in my mind, that I said, before my master and the friend, [Page 16] that I believed slave-keeping to be a practice inconsistent with the christian religion: this in some degree abated my uneasiness; yet, as often as I reflected seriously upon it, I thought I should have been clearer, if I had desired to be excused from it, as a thing against my con­science; for such it was. And some time after this, a young man, of our society, spoke to me to write a conveyance of a slave to him; he having lately taken a negro into his house: I told him, I was not easy to write it; for, though many of our meeting and in other places kept slaves, I still believed the practice was not right; and desired to be excused from the writing. I spoke to him in good will; and he told me, that keeping slaves was not alto­gether agreeable to his mind; but that the slave being a gift made to his wife, he had accept­ed of her.

CHAP. II.

MY esteemed friend Abraham Farring­ton, being about to make a visit to friends on the eastern side of this province, and having no companion, he proposed to me to go with him; and after a conference with some elderly friends, I agreed to go: so we set out the fifth day of the ninth month, in the year 1743; had an evening meeting at a tavern in Brunswick, a town in which none of our society dwelt; the room was full, and the people quiet. Thence to Amboy, and had an evening meeting in the court-house; to which came many people, amongst whom were several members of assembly, they be­ing in town on the public affairs of the pro­vince. [Page 18] in both these meetings my antient companion was enlarged to preach, in the love of the gospel. Thence we went to Wood-bridge, Raway, and Plainfield; and had six or seven meetings in places where friends meetings are not usually held, being made up chiefly of presbyterians, and my beloved companion was frequently strength­ened to publish the word of life amongst them: as for me, I was often silent thro' the meetings; and when I spake, it was with much care, that I might speak only what truth opened: my mind was often ten­der, and I learned some profitable lessons. We were out about two weeks.

Near this time, being on some outward bu­siness in which several families were concern­ed, and which was attended with difficulties, some things relating thereto not being clearly stated, nor rightly understood by all, there arose some heat in the minds of the parties, and one valuable friend got off his watch; I had a great regard for him, and felt a strong inclination, after matters were settled, to speak to him concerning his conduct in that case; but I being a youth, and he far advanced in age and experience, my way appeared diffi­cult; but after some days deliberation, and inward seeking to the Lord for assistance, I was made subject; so that I exprest what lay upon me, in a way which became my youth and his years: and though it was a hard task to me, it was well taken, and, I believe, was useful to us both.

[Page 19] Having now been several years with my employer, and he doing less at merchandize than heretofore, I was thoughtful of some other way of business; perceiving merchan­dize to be attended with much cumber, in the way of trading in these parts.

My mind, through the power of truth, was in a good degree weaned from the desire of outward greatness, and I was learning to be content with real conveniencies, that were not costly; so that a way of life, free from much entanglements, appeared best for me, tho' the income might be small. I had several offers of business that appeared profitable, but did not see my way clear to accept of them; as believing the business proposed would be attended with more outward care and cumber than was required of me to engage in.

I saw that a humble man, with the blessing of the Lord, might live on a little: and that where the heart was set on greatness, success in business did not satisfy the craving; but that commonly with an increase of wealth, the desire of wealth increased. There was a care on my mind so to pass my time, that nothing might hinder me from the most steady attention to the voice of the true Shep­herd.

My employer, though now a retailer of goods, was by trad [...] a taylor, and kept a servant man at that business; and I began to think about learning the trade, expecting, that if I should settle, I might, by this trade, and a little retailing of goods, get a living [Page 20] in a plain way, without the load of great business: I mentioned it to my employer, and we soon agreed on terms; and then, when I had leisure from the affairs of mer­chandize, I worked with his man. I believed the hand of Providence pointed out this bu­siness for me; and was taught to be content with it, though I felt, at times, a disposition that would have sought for something great­er: but, through the revelation of Jesus Christ, I had seen the happiness of humility, and there was an earnest desire in me to en­ter deep into it; and, at times, this desire arose to a degree of fervent supplication, wherein my soul was so environed with hea­venly light and consolation, that things were made easy to me which had been otherwise.

After some time, my employer's wife died; she was a virtuous woman, and generally be­loved of her neighbours: and soon after this, he left shopkeeping; and we parted. I then wrought at my trade, as a taylor; carefully attended meetings for worship and discipline; and found an enlargement of gospel love in my mind, and therein a concern to visit friends in some of the back settlements of Pennsylvania and Virginia; and being thoughtful about a companion, I expressed it to my beloved friend Isaac Andrews, who then told me that he had drawings to the same places; and also to go through Mary­land, Virginia, and Carolina. After consi­derable time past, and several conferences with him, I felt easy [...]o accompany him [Page 21] throughout, if way opened for it. I opened the case in our monthly meeting, and friends expressing their unity therewith, we obtained certificates to travel as companions; his from Haddonfield, and mine from Burlington.

We left our province on the twelfth day of the third month, in the year 1746, and had several meetings in the upper part of Chester county, and near Lancaster; in some of which, the love of Christ prevailed, uni­ting us together in his service. Then we crossed the river Susquehannah, and had se­veral meetings in a new settlement, called the Red-Lands; the oldest of which, as I was informed, did not exceed ten years. It is the poorer sort of people that commonly begin to improve remote deserts: with a small stock they have houses to build, lands to clear and fence, corn to raise, cloaths to provide, and children to educate; that friends, who visit such, may well sympathize with them in their hardships in the wilderness; and though the best entertainment such can give, may seem coarse to some who are used to cities, or old settled places, it becomes the disciples of Christ to be content with it. Our hearts were sometimes enlarged in the love of our heavenly Father amongst these people; and the sweet influence of his spirit sup­ported us through some difficulties: to him be the praise.

We passed on to Manoquacy, Fairfax, Hopewell, and Shanando, and had meet­ings; some of which were comfortable and [Page 22] edifying. From Shanando we set off in the afternoon for the old settlements of friends in Virginia; and the first night, we, with our pilot, lodged in the woods, our horses feed­ing near us; but he being poorly provided with a horse, and we young and having good horses, were free the next day to part with him; and did so. In two days after, we reached to our friend John Cheagle's, in Vir­ginia: so we took the meetings in our way through Virginia; were, in some degree, baptized into a feeling sense of the condi­tions of the people; and our exercise in ge­neral was more painful in these old settle­ments, than it had been amongst the back inhabitants: but through the goodness of our heavenly Father, the well of living-wa­ters was, at times, opened to our encou­ragement, and the refreshment of the sincere hearted. We went on to Perquimons, in North-Carolina; had several meetings, which were large; and found some openness in those parts, and a hopeful appearance amongst the young people. So we turned again to Virginia, and attended most of the meetings which we had not been at before, labouring amongst friends in the love of Jesus Christ, as ability was given: and thence went to the mountains, up James River, to a new settle­ment; and had several meetings amongst the people, some of whom had lately joined in membership with our society.

In our journeying to and fro, we found some honest-hearted friends, who appeared [Page 23] to be concerned for the cause of truth among a backsliding people.

From Virginia, we crossed over the river Patowmac, at Hoe's ferry, and made a gene­ral visit to the meetings of friends on the Western Shore of Maryland; and were at their quarterly meeting. We had some hard labour amongst them, endeavouring to dis­charge our duty honestly as way opened, in the love of truth: and thence taking sundry meetings in our way, we passed homeward; where, through the favour of Divine Provi­dence, we reached the sixteenth day of the sixth month, in the year 1746; and I may say, that through the assistance of the Holy Spirit, which mortifies selfish desires, my companion and I travelled in harmony, and parted in the nearness of true brotherly love.

Two things were remarkable to me in this journey: first, in regard to my entertain­ment; when I eat, drank, and lodged free-cost with people, who lived in ease on the hard labour of their slaves, I felt uneasy; and as my mind was inward to the Lord, I found, from place to place, this uneasiness return upon me, at times, through the whole visit. Where the masters bore a good share of the burthen, and lived frugally, so that their servants were well provided for, and their labour moderate, I felt more easy; but where they lived in a costly way, and laid heavy burthens on their slaves, my exercise was often great, and I frequently had con­versation with them, in private, concerning [Page 24] it. Secondly: this trade of importing slaves from their native country being much en­couraged amongst them, and the white peo­ple and their children so generally living without much labour, was frequently the subject of my serious thoughts: and I saw in these southern provinces so many vices and corruptions, increased by this trade and this way of life, that it appeared to me as a dark gloominess hanging over the land; and though now many willingly run into it, yet in future the consequence will be grievous to posterity: I express it as it hath appeared to me, not at once, nor twice, but as a matter fixed on my mind.

Soon after my return home, I felt an in­creasing concern for friends on our sea coast; and on the eighth day of the eighth month, in the year 1746, with the unity of friends, and in company with my beloved friend and neighbour Peter Andrews, brother to my companion before-mentioned, we set for­ward, and visited meetings generally about Salem, Cape May, Great and Little Egg-Harbour; and had meetings at Barnagat, Mannahockin, and Mane-Squan, and so to the yearly meeting at Shrewsbury. Through the goodness of the Lord way was opened, and the strength of divine love was sometimes felt in our assemblies, to the comfort and help of those who were rightly concerned be­fore him. We were out twenty-two days, and rode, by computation, three hundred and forty miles. At Shrewsbury yearly meet­ing, [Page 25] we met with our dear friends Michael Lightfoot and Abraham Farrington, who had good service there.

The winter following died my eldest sister, Elizabeth Woolman, jun. of the small-pox, aged thirty-one years. She was, from her youth, of a thoughtful disposition; and very compassionate to her acquaintance in their sickness or distress, being ready to help as far as she could. She was dutiful to her parents; one instance whereof follows:—It happened that she, and two of her sisters, be­ing then near the estate of young women, had an inclination one first day after meet­ing to go on a visit to some other young women at some distance off; whose compa­ny, I believe, would have done them no good. They exprest their desire to our pa­rents; who were dissatisfied with the propo­sal, and stopped them. The same day, as my sisters and I were together, and they talking about their disappointment, Eliza­beth exprest her contentment under it; sig­nifying, she believed it might be for their good.

A few years after she attained to mature-age, through the gracious visitations of God's love, she was strengthened to live a self-deny­ing exemplary life, giving herself much to reading and meditation.

The following letter may shew, in some degree, her disposition:

The fore part of her illness she was in great sadness and dejection of mind, of which she told one of her intimate friends, and said, when I was a young girl I was wanton and airy, but I thought I had tho­roughly repented for it; and added, I have of late had great satisfaction in meetings. Though she was thus disconsolate, still she retained a hope, which was as an anchor to [...]: and some time after, the same friend [Page 27] came again to see her, to whom she men­tioned her former expressions, and said, it is otherwise now, for the Lord hath rewarded me seven-fold; and I am unable to express the greatness of his love manifested to me. Her disorder appearing dangerous, and our mother being sorrowful, she took notice of it, and said, dear mother, weep not for me; I go to my God: and many times, with an audible voice, uttered praise to her Re­deemer.

A friend coming some miles to see her the morning before she died, asked her, how she did? she answered, I have had a hard night, but shall not have another such, for I shall die, and it will be well with my soul; and accordingly died the next evening.

The following ejaculations were found amongst her writings; wrote, I believe, at four times:

• I. Oh! that my head were as waters, and mine eyes as a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night, until acquainted with my God.
• II. O Lord, that I may enjoy thy pre­sence; or else my time is lost, and my life a snare to my soul.
• III. O Lord, that I may receive bread from thy table, and that thy grace may abound in me.
• IV. O Lord, that I may be acquainted with thy presence, that I may be seasoned with thy salt, that thy grace may abound in me.

[Page 28] Of late I found drawings in my mind to visit friends in New-England, and having an opportunity of joining in company with my beloved friend Peter Andrews; we, hav­ing obtained certificates from our monthly meeting, set forward on the sixteenth day of the third month, in the year 1747, and reached the yearly meeting at Long-Island; at which were our friends Samuel Notting­ham from England, John Griffith, Jane Hoskins, and Elizabeth Hudson from Penn­sylvania, and Jacob Andrews from Chester­field. Several of whom were favoured in their publick exercise; and, through the goodness of the Lord, we had some edifying meetings. After this, my companion and I visited friends on Long-Island; and, through the mercies of God, we were helped in the work.

Besides going to the settled meetings of friends, we were at a general meeting at Se­tawket, chiefly made up of other societies: and had a meeting at Oyster-Bay, in a dwelling-house, at which were many people: at the first of which there was not much said by way of testimony; but was, I believe, a good meeting: at the latter, through the springing up of living-waters, it was a day to be thankfully remembered. Having visited the island, we went over to the main, taking meetings in our way, to Oblong, Nine-Part­ners and New-Milford.—In these back settle­ments we met with several people, who, through the immediate workings of the spi­rit [Page 29] of Christ on their minds, were drawn from the vanities of the world, to an inward ac­quaintance with him: they were educated in the way of the presbyterians. A considerable number of the youth, members of that society, were used to spend their time often together in merriment, but some of the principal young men of that company being visited by the powerful workings of the spirit of Christ, and thereby led humbly to take up his cross, could no longer join in those vanities; and as these stood stedfast to that inward con­vincement, they were made a blessing to some of their former companions; so that, through the power of truth, several were brought into a close exercise concerning the eternal well-being of their souls. These young people continued for a time to frequent their pub­lick worship; and besides that, had meetings of their own; which meetings were a while allowed by their preacher, who sometimes met with them: but, in time, their judg­ment in matters of religion disagreeing with some of the articles of the presbyterians, their meetings were disapproved by that so­ciety; and such of them who stood firm to their duty, as it was inwardly manifested, had many difficulties to go through: and their meetings were in a while dropped; some of them returning to the presbyterians, and others of them, after a time, joined to our religious society.

I had conversation with some of the latter, to my help and edification; and believe seve­ral [Page 30] of them are acquainted with the nature of that worship, which is performed in spirit and in truth. From hence, accompanied by Amos Powel, a friend from Long-Island, we rode through Connecticut, chiefly inha­bited by presbyterians; who were generally civil to us, so far as I saw: and after three days riding, we came amongst friends in the colony of Rhode-Island. We visited friends in and about Newport, and Dartmouth, and generally in those parts; and then to Boston; and proceeded eastward as far as Dover: and then returned to Newport, and not far from thence, we met our friend Thomas Gaw­throp from England; who was then on a vi­sit to these provinces. From Newport we sailed to Nantucket; were there near a week; and from thence came over to Dartmouth: and having finished our visit in these parts, we crossed the Sound from New-London to Long-Island; and taking some meetings on the island, proceeded homeward; where we reached the thirteenth day of the seventh month, in the year 1747, having rode about fifteen hundred miles, and sailed about one hundred and fifty.

In this journey, I may say in general, we were sometimes in much weakness, and la­boured under discouragements; and at other times, through the renewed manifestations of divine love, we had seasons of refreshment, wherein the power of truth prevailed.

We were taught, by renewed experience, to labour for an inward stillness; at no time [Page 31] to seek for words, but to live in the spirit of truth, and utter that to the people which truth opened in us. My beloved companion and I belonged both to one meeting, came forth in the ministry near the same time, and were inwardly united in the work: he was about thirteen years older than I, bore the heaviest burthen, and was an instrument of the greatest use.

Finding a concern to visit friends in the Lower Counties on Delaware, and on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and having an opportunity to join with my well-beloved antient friend John Sykes, we obtained cer­tificates, and set off the seventh day of the eighth month, in the year 1748, were at the meetings of friends in the lower counties, attended the yearly meeting at Little Creek, and made a visit to chief of the meetings on the Eastern Shore; and so home by the way of Nottingham: were abroad about six weeks; and rode, by computation, about five hun­dred and fifty miles.

Our exercise, at times, was heavy; but, through the goodness of the Lord, we were of­ten refreshed: and I may say, by experience, "He is a strong hold in the day of trouble." Though our society, in these parts, appeared to me to be in a declining condition; yet, I believe, the Lord hath a people amongst them, who labout to serve him uprightly, but have many difficulties to encounter.

CHAP. III.

ABOUT this time believing it good for me to settle, and thinking seriously a­bout a companion, my heart was turned to the Lord with desires that he would give me wisdom to proceed therein agreeable to his will; and He was pleased to give me a well-inclined damsel, Sarah Ellis; to whom I was married the eighteenth day of the eighth month, in the year 1749.

In the fall of the year 1750 died my fa­ther, Samuel Woolman, with a fever, aged about sixty years.

In his life-time he manifested much care for us his children, that in our youth we might learn to fear the Lord; often endea­vouring to imprint in our minds the true principles of virtue, and particularly to che­rish in us a spirit of tenderness, not only to­wards [Page 33] poor people, but also towards all crea­tures of which we had the command.

After my return from Carolina in the year 1746, I made some observations on keeping slaves, which some time before his decease I shewed him; and he perused the manuscript, proposed a few alterations, and appeared well satisfied that I found a concern on that ac­count: and in his last sickness, as I was watching with him one night, he being so far spent that there was no expectation of his recovery, but had the perfect use of his un­derstanding, he asked me concerning the ma­nuscript, whether I expected soon to proceed to take the advice of friends in publishing it? and, after some conversation thereon, said, I have all along been deeply affected with the oppression of the poor negroes; and now, at last, my concern for them is as great as ever.

By his direction, I had wrote his will in a time of health, and that night he desired me to read it to him, which I did; and he said, it was agreeable to his mind. He then made mention of his end, which he believed was now near; and signified, that though he was sensible of many imperfections in the course of his life, yet his experience of the power of truth, and of the love and goodness of God from time to time, even till now, was such, that he had no doubt but that in leav­ing this life he should enter into one more happy.

The next day his sister Elizabeth came to see him, and told him of the decease of their [Page 34] sister Ann; who died a few days before: he then said, I reckon sister Ann was free to leave this world? Elizabeth said, she was: he then said, I also am free to leave it; and being in great weakness of body said, I hope I shall shortly go to rest. He continued in a weighty frame of mind, and was sensible till near the last.

On the second day of the ninth month, in the year 1751, feeling drawings in my mind to visit friends at the Great Meadows, in the upper part of West-Jersey, with the unity of our monthly-meeting, I went there; and had some searching laborious exercise amongst friends in those parts, and found inward peace therein.

In the ninth month of the year 1753, in company with my well-esteemed friend John Sykes, and with the unity of friends, we travelled about two weeks, visiting friends in Bucks-County. We laboured in the love of the gospel, according to the measure re­ceived; and, through the mercies of Him, who is strength to the poor who trust in him, we found satisfaction in our visit: and in the next winter, way opening to visit friends fa­milies within the compass of our monthly-meeting, partly [...]y the labours of two friends from Pennsylvania, I joined in some part of the work; having had a desire some time that it might go forward amongst us.

About this time, a person at some distance lying sick, his brother came to me to write his will: I knew he had slaves; and asking [Page 35] his brother, was told he intended to leave them as slaves to his children. As writing is a profitable employ, and as offending sober people was disagreeble to my inclination, I was straitened in my mind; but as I looked to the Lord, he inclined my heart to his tes­timony: and I told the man, that I believed the practice of continuing slavery to this people was not right; and had a scruple in my mind against doing writings of that kind: that though many in our society kept them as slaves, still I was not easy to be con­cerned in it; and desired to be excused from going to write the will. I spake to him in the fear of the Lord; and he made no reply to what I said, but went away: he also had some concerns in the practice; and I thought he was displeased with me. In this case I had a fresh confirmation, that acting con­trary to present outward interest, from a mo­tive of divine love, and in regard to truth and righteousness, and thereby incurring the resentments of people, opens the way to a treasure better than silver, and to a friend­ship exceeding the friendship of men.

The manuscript before-mentioned having laid by me several years, the publication of it rested weightily upon me; and this year I offered it to the revisal of friends, who, hav­ing examined and made some small altera­tions in it, directed a number of copies there­of to be published and dispersed amongst friends.

[Page 36] In the year 1754, I found my mind drawn to join in a visit to friends families belonging to Chesterfield monthly-meeting; and hav­ing the approbation of our own, I went to their monthly-meeting in order to confer with friends, and see if way opened for it: I had conference with some of their mem­bers, the proposal having been opened before in their meeting, and one friend agreed to join with me as a companion for a begin­ning; but when meeting was ended, I felt great distress of mind, and doubted what way to take, or whether to go home and wait for greater clearness: I kept my distress se­cret; and going with a friend to his house, my desires were to the great Shepherd for his heavenly instruction; and in the morning I felt easy to proceed on the visit, being very low in my mind: and as mine eye was turn­ed to the Lord, waiting in families in deep reverence before him, he was pleased graci­ously to afford help; so that we had many comfortable opportunities, and it appeared as a fresh visitation to some young people. I spent several weeks this winter in the service; part of which time was employed near home. And again in the following winter I was se­veral weeks in the same service; some part of the time at Shrewsbury, in company with my beloved friend John Sykes; and have cause humbly to acknowledge, that thro' the good­ness of the Lord, our hearts were, at times, enlarged in his love; and strength was given [Page 37] to go through the trials which, in the course of our visit, attended us.

From a disagreement between the powers of England and France, it was now a time of trouble on this Continent; and an epistle to friends went forth from our general spring meeting, which I thought good to give a place in this journal.

An EPISTLE from our general spring meet­ing of ministers and elders for Pennsylva­nia and New-Jersey, held at Philadelphia, from the twenty-ninth of the third month, to the first of the fourth month, inclusive, 1755.

To friends on the continent of America.

Scrupling to do writings relative to keep­ing slaves, having been a means of sundry small trials to me, in which I have so evi­dently felt my own will set aside, that I think it good to mention a few of them—Trades­men and retailers of goods, who depend on their business for a living, are naturally in­clined to keep the good-will of their custom­ers; nor is it a pleasant thing for young men to be under any necessity to question the judgment or honesty of elderly men, and more especially of such who have a fair re­putation. Deep-rooted customs, tho' wrong, are not easily altered; but it is the duty of every one to be firm in that which they cer­tainly know is right for them. A charitable benevolent man, well acquainted with a ne­gro, may, I believe, under some circum­stances, keep him in his family as a servant, on no other motives than the negroe's good; but man, as man knows not what shall be af­ter him, nor hath he any assurance that his children will attain to that perfection in wis­dom and goodness necessary rightly to exer­cise such power: hence it is clear to me, that I ought not to be the scribe where wills are [Page 42] drawn, in which some children are made ab­solute masters over others during life.

About this time, an antient man of good esteem in the neighbourhood, came to my house to get his will wrote; he had young negroes; and I asked him privately, how he purposed to dispose of them? he told me: I then said, I cannot write thy will without breaking my own peace; and respectfully gave him my reasons for it: he signified that he had a choice that I should have wrote it; but as I could not, consistent with my con­science, he did not desire it: and so he got it wrote by some other person. And a few years after, there being great alterations in his family, he came again to get me to write his will: his negroes were yet young; and his son, to whom he intended to give them, was, since he first spoke to me, from a liber­tine, become a sober young man; and he supposed, that I would have been free, on that account, to write it. We had much friendly talk on the subject, and then de­ferred it: and a few days after, he came again, and directed their freedom; and so I wrote his will.

Near the time the last mentioned friend first spoke to me, a neighbour received a bad bruise in his body, and sent for me to bleed him; which being done, he desired me to write his will: I took notes; and, amongst other things, he told me to which of his children he gave his young negro: I consi­dered the pain and distress he was in, and [Page 43] knew not how it would end; so I wrote his will, save only that part concerning his slave, and carrying it to his bed-side, read it to him; and then told him in a friendly way, that I could not write any instruments by which my fellow-creatures were made slaves, without bringing trouble on my own mind: I let him know that I charged nothing for what I had done; and desired to be excused from doing the other part in the way he proposed: we then had a serious conference on the subject; at length, he agreeing to set her free, I finished his will.

Having found drawings in my mind to visit friends on Long-Island, after obtaining a certificate from our monthly-meeting, I set off on the twelfth day of the fifth month, in the year 1756. When I reached the island, I lodged the first night at the house of my dear friend Richard Halle [...]: the next day, be­ing the first of the week, I was at the meet­ing in Newtown; in which we experienced the renewed manifestations of the love of Je­sus Christ, to the comfort of the honest-hearted. I went that night to Flushing; and the next day, in company with my be­loved friend Matthew Franklin, we crossed the ferry at White-Stone; were at three meet­ings on the main, and then returned to the island; where I spent the remainder of the week in visiting meetings. The Lord, I be­lieve, hath a people in those parts, who are honestly inclined to serve him; but many, I fear, are too much clogged with the things of this life, and do not come forward bear­ing [Page 44] the cross in such faithfulness as he calls for.

My mind was deeply engaged in this visit, both in public and private; and, at several places where I was, on observing that they had slaves, I found myself under a necessity, in a friendly way, to labour with them on that subject; expressing, as way opened, the inconsistency of that practice with the purity of the christian religion, and the ill effects of it manifested amongst us.

The latter end of the week, their yearly-meeting began; at which were our friends John Scarbrough, Jane Hoskins, and Susan­nah Brown, from Pennsylvania: the publick meetings were large, and measurably favour­ed with divine goodness.

The exercise of my mind, at this meeting, was chiefly on account of those who were considered as the foremost rank in the soci­ety: and in a meeting of ministers and el­ders, way opened, that I expressed in some measure what lay upon me; and at a time when friends were met for transacting the affairs of the church, having set a while si­lent, I felt a weight on my mind, and stood up; and, through the gracious regard of our heavenly Father, strength was given fully to clear myself of a burthen, which for some days had been increasing upon me.

Through the humbling dispensations of Divine Providence, men are sometimes fitted for his service. The messages of the prophet Jeremiah were so disagreeable to the people, [Page 45] and so reverse to the spirit they lived in, that he became the object of their reproach; and in the weakness of nature, thought of desist­ing from his prophetick office; but, saith he, ‘His word was in my heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I was weary with forbearing, and could not stay.’ I saw at this time, that if I was honest in de­claring that which truth opened in me, I could not please all men; and laboured to be content in the way of my duty, however disagreeable to my own inclination. After this I went homeward, taking Woodbridge and Plainfield in my way; in both which meetings, the pure influence of divine love was manifested; in an humbling sense where­of I went home: having been out about twenty-four days, and rode about three hundred and sixteen miles.

While I was out on this journey, my heart was much affected with a sense of the state of the churches in our southern provinces; and believing the Lord was calling me to some further labour amongst them, I was bowed in reverence before him, with fervent desires that I might find strength to resign myself up to his heavenly will.

Until this year, 1756, I continued to re­tail goods, besides following my trade as a taylor; about which time, I grew uneasy on account of my business growing too cum­bersome. I had began with selling trim­mings for garments, and from thence pro­ceeded to sell cloths and linens; and, at [Page 46] length, having got a considerable shop of goods, my trade increased every year, and the road to large business appeared open; but I felt a stop in my mind.

Through the mercies of the Almighty, I had, in a good degree, learned to be content with a plain way of living: I had but a small family; and on serious consideration, I believed truth did not require me to engage in much cumbering affairs: it had been my general practice to buy and sell things really useful: things that served chiefly to please the vain mind in people, I was not easy to trade in; seldom did it; and whenever I did, I found it weaken me as a christian.

The increase of business became my bur­then; for though my natural inclination was toward merchandize, yet I believed truth re­quired me to live more free from outward cumbers: and there was now a strife in my mind between the two; and in this exercise my prayers were put up to the Lord, who graciously heard me, and gave me a heart re­signed to his holy will: then I lessened my outward business; and, as I had opportuni­ty, told my customers of my intentions, that they might consider what shop to turn to: and, in a while, wholly laid down merchan­dize, following my trade as a taylor; myself only, having no apprentice. I also had a nursery of apple-trees; in which I employed some of my time in hoeing, grafting, trim­ming, and inoculating. In merchandise it is the custom, where I lived, to sell chiefly [Page 47] on credit, and poor people often get in debt; and when payment is expected, not having wherewith to pay, their creditors often sue for it at law. Having often observed occur­rences of this kind, I found it good for me to advise poor people to take such goods as were most useful and not costly.

In the time of trading, I had an opportu­nity of seeing, that the too liberal use of spi­rituous liquors, and the custom of wearing too costly apparel, led some people into great inconveniencies; and these two things appear to be often connected one with the other; for by not attending to that use of things which is consistent with universal righteousness, there is an increase of labour which extends beyond what our heavenly Father intends for us: and by great labour, and often by much sweating, there is, even among such who are not drunkards, a craving of some liquors to revive the spirits: that partly by the luxuri­ous drinking of some, and partly by the drinking of others, (led to it through immo­derate labour) very great quantities of rum are every year expended in our colonies; the greater part of which we should have no need of, did we steadily attend to pure wisdom.

Where men take pleasure in feeling their minds elevated with strong drink, and so in­dulge their appetite as to disorder their un­derstandings, neglect their duty as members in a family or civil society, and cast off all regard to religion, their case is much to be pitied; and where such whose lives are for [Page 48] the most past regular, and whose examples have a strong influence on the minds of others, adhere to some customs which power­fully draw to the use of more strong liquor than pure wisdom allows; this also, as it hinders the spreading of the spirit of meek­ness, and strengthens the hands of the more excessive drinkers, is a case to be lamented.

As every degree of luxury hath some con­nexion with evil; for those who profess to be disciples of Christ, and are looked upon as leaders of the people, to have that mind in them, which was also in Christ, and so stand separate from every wrong way, is a means of help to the weaker. As I have sometimes been much spent in the heat, and taken spi­rits to revive me, I have found by experi­ence, that in such circumstances the mind is not so calm, nor so fitly disposed for divine meditation, as when all such extremes are avoided; and I have felt an increasing care to attend to that holy Spirit which sets right bounds to our desires; and leads those who faithfully follow it, to apply all the gifts of Divine Providence to the purposes for which they were intended. Did such who have the care of great estates, attend with singleness of heart to this heavenly Instructor, which so opens and enlarges the mind, that men love their neighbours as themselves, they would have wisdom given them to manage, without finding occasion to employ some peo­ple in the luxuries of life, or to make it ne­cessary for others to labour too hard; but for [Page 49] want of steadily regarding this principle of divine love, a selfish spirit takes place in the minds of people, which is attended with darkness and manifold confusions in the world.

Though trading in things useful is an ho­nest employ; yet, through the great number of superfluities which are bought and sold, and through the corruption of the times, they who apply to merchandize for a living, have great need to be well experienced in that precept which the prophet Jeremiah laid down for his scribe: ‘Seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not.’

In the winter, this year, I was engaged with friends in visiting families; and, thro' the goodness of the Lord, we had oftentimes experience of his heart-tendering presence amongst us.

CHAP. IV.

THE thirteenth day of the second month, in the year 1757, being then in good health, and abroad with friends visiting fa­milies, I lodged at a friend's house, in Bur­lington; and going to bed about the time usual with me, I awoke in the night, and [Page 53] my meditations, as I lay, were on the good­ness and mercy of the Lord; in a sense whereof my heart was contrite: after this, I went to sleep again; and sleeping a short time, I awoke; it was yet dark, and no ap­pearance of day nor moonshine; and as I opened mine eyes, I saw a light in my cham­ber at the apparent distance of five feet, about nine inches diameter, of a clear easy bright­ness, and near its center the most radiant: as I lay still without any surprize looking upon it, words were spoken to my inward ear, which filled my whole inward man: they were not the effect of thought, nor any conclusion in relation to the appearance, but as the language of the Holy One spoken in my mind; the words were, CERTAIN EVIDENCE OF DIVINE TRUTH; and were again repeated exactly in the same manner; where­upon the light disappeared.

Feeling the exercise in relation to a visit to the Southern Provinces to increase upon me, I acquainted our monthly-meeting therewith, and obtained their certificate: ex­pecting to go alone, one of my brothers, who lived in Philadelphia, having some business in North-Carolina, proposed going with me part of the way; but as he had a view of s [...]e outward affairs, to accept of him as a companion seemed some difficulty with me, whereupon I had conversation with him at sundry times; and, at length, feeling easy in my mind, I had conversation with several el­derly friends of Philadelphia on the subject; [Page 54] and he obtaining a certificate suitable to the occasion, we set off in the fifth month of the year 1757: and coming to Nottingham week­day meeting, lodged at John Churchman's; and here I met with our friend Benjamin Buffington, from New-England, who was re­turning from a visit to the Southern Pro­vinces. Thence we crossed the river Sus­quehannah, and lodged at William Cox's in Maryland; and soon after I entered this pro­vince, a deep and painful exercise came upon me, which I often had some feeling of since my mind was drawn toward these parts, and with which I had acquainted my brother be­fore we agreed to join as companions.

As the people in this and the Southern Pro­vinces live much on the labour of slaves, many of whom are used hardly, my con­cern was, that I might attend with singleness of heart to the voice of the true Shepherd, and be so supported as to remain unmoved at the faces of men.

As it is common for friends on such a vi­sit to have entertainment free of cost, a dif­ficulty arose in my mind with respect to saving my money by kindness received, which to me appeared to be the gain of op­pression.

Receiving a gift, considered as a gift, brings the receiver under obligations to the benefactor, and has a natural tendency to draw the obliged into a party with the giver. To prevent difficulties of this kind, and to preserve the minds of judges from any bias, [Page 55] was that divine prohibition; ‘Thou shalt not receive any gift: for a gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous.’ Exod. xxiii. 8. As the disci­ples were sent forth without any provision for their journey, and our Lord said the work­man is worthy of his meat, their labour in the gospel was considered as a reward for their entertainment, and therefore not re­ceived as a gift; yet, in regard to my present journey, I could not see my way clear in that respect. The difference appeared thus: The entertainment the disciples met with, was from such whose hearts God had opened to receive them, from a love to them, and the truth they published: but we, considered as members of the same religious society, look upon it as a piece of civility to receive each other in such visits; and such reception, at times, is partly in regard to reputation, and not from an inward unity of heart and spi­rit. Conduct is more convincing than lan­guage; and where people, by their actions, manifest that the slave-trade is not so disa­greeable to their principles but that it may he encouraged, there is not a sound uniting with some friends who visit them.

The prospect of so weighty a work, and be­ing so distinguished from many who I es­teemed before myself, brought me very low; and such were the conflicts of my soul, that I had a near sympathy with the prophet, in the time of his weakness, when he said, ‘If thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray [Page 56] thee, if I have found favour in thy sight;’ Numb. xi. 15. but I soon saw that this pro­ceeded from the want of a full resignation to the divine will. Many were the afflictions which attended me; and in great abasement, with many tears, my cries were to the Al­mighty, for his gracious and fatherly assist­ance; and then, after a time of deep trial, I was favoured to understand the state men­tioned by the psalmist more clearly than ever I had before; to wit: ‘My soul is even as a weaned child.’ Psalm cxxxi. 2. Being thus helped to sink down into resignation, I felt a deliverance from that tempest in which I had been sorely exercised, and in calmness of mind went forward, trusting that the Lord Jesus Christ, as I faithfully attended to him, would be a councellor to me in all difficul­ties; and that by his strength I should be en­abled even to leave money with the members of society where I had entertainment, when I found that omitting of it would obstruct that work to which I believed he had called me: and as I copy this after my return, I may here add, that oftentimes I did so, under a sense of duty; the way in which I did it was thus: when I expected soon to leave a friend's house where I had entertainment, if I be­lieved that I should not keep clear from the gain of oppression without leaving money, I spoke to one of the heads of the family pri­vately, and desired them to accept of them pieces of silver, and give them to such of their negroes as they believed would make [Page 57] the best use of them; and at other times, I gave them to the negroes myself, as the way looked clearest to me: as I expected this be­fore I came out, I had provided a large num­ber of small pieces; and thus offering them to some who appeared to be wealthy people, was a trial both to me and them: but the fear of the Lord so covered me at times, that my way was made easier than I expected; and few, if any, manifested any resentment at the offer, and most of them, after some talk, accepted of them.

The seventh day of the fifth month, in the year 1757, lodged at a friend's house; and the next day, being the first of the week, was at Potapsco meeting; then crossed Patuxent river, and lodged at a publick-house.

On the ninth breakfasted at a friend's house; who afterward, putting us a little on our way, I had conversation with him, in the fear of the Lord, concerning his slaves; in which my heart was tender, and I used much plainness of speech with him, which he appeared to take kindly. We pursued our journey without appointing meetings, being pressed in my mind to be at the yearly-meet­ing in Virginia; and in my travelling on the road, I often felt a cry rise from the center of my mind, thus: O Lord, I am a stran­ger on the earth, hide not thy face from me. On the eleventh day of the fifth month, we crossed the rivers Patowmack and Rapahan­nock, and lodged at Port-Royal: and on the way we happening in company with a colo­nel [Page 58] of the militia, who appeared to be a thoughtful man; I took occasion to remark on the difference in general betwixt a people used to labour moderately for their living, training up their children in frugality and business, and those who live on the labour of slaves; the former, in my view, being the most happy life: with which he concurred, and mentioned the trouble arising from the untoward, slothful disposition of the negroes; adding, that one of our labourers would do as much in a day as two of their slaves. I replied, that free men, whose minds were properly on their business, found a satisfac­tion in improving, cultivating, and providing for their families; but negroes, labouring to support others who claim them as their pro­perty, and expecting nothing but slavery during life, had not the like inducement to be industrious.

After some further conversation, I said, that men having power, too often misap­plied it; that though we made slaves of the negroes, and the Turks made slaves of the Christians, I however believed that liberty was the natural right of all men equally: which he did not deny; but said, the lives of the negroes were so wretched in their own country, that many of them lived better here than there: I only said, there is great odds in regard to us, on what principle we act; and so the conversation on that subject ended: and I may here add, that another person, some time afterward, mentioned the wretch­edness [Page 59] of the negroes, occasioned by their intestine wars, as an argument in favour of our fetching them away for slaves: to which I then replied, if compassion on the Africans, in regard to their domestic troubles, were the real motives of our purchasing them, that spirit of tenderness being attended to, would incite us to use them kindly; that as stran­gers brought out of affliction, their lives might be happy among us; and as they are human creatures, whose souls are as precious as ours, and who may receive the same help and comfort from the holy scriptures as we do, we could not omit suitable endeavours to instruct them therein: but while we mani­fest by our conduct, that our views in pur­chasing them are to advance ourselves; and while our buying captives taken in war, ani­mates those parties to push on that war, and increase desolation amongst them; to say they live unhappy in Africa, is far from being an argument in our favour: and I further said, the present circumstances of these pro­vinces to me appear difficult; that the slaves look like a burthensome stone to such who burthen themselves with them; and that if the white people retain a resolution to prefer their outward prospects of gain to all other considerations, and do not act conscientious­ly toward them as fellow-creatures, I believe that burthen will grow heavier and heavier, till times change in a way disagreeable to us: at which the person appeared very serious; and owned, that in considering their condi­tion, [Page 60] and the manner of their treatment in these provinces, he had sometimes thought it might be just in the Almighty so to order it.

Having thus travelled through Maryland, we came amongst friends at Cedar-Creek in Virginia, on the twelfth day of the fifth month; and the next day rode, in company with several friends, a day's journey to Camp-Creek: and as I was riding along in the morning, my mind was deeply affected in a sense I had of the want of divine aid to sup­port me in the various difficulties which at­tended me; and in an uncommon distress of mind, I cried in secret to the Most High, O Lord be merciful, I beseech thee, to thy poor afflicted creature. After some time, I felt in­ward relief; and soon after, a friend in com­pany began to talk in support of the slave-trade, and said, the negroes were understood to be the offspring of Cain, their blackness being the mark God set upon him after he murthered Abel his brother; that it was the design of Providence they should be slaves, as a condition proper to the race of so wick­ed a man as Cain was: then another spake in support of what had been said. To all which, I replied in substance as follows: That Noah and his family were all who sur­vived the flood, according to scripture; and as Noah was of Seth's race, the family of Cain was wholly destroyed. One of them said, that after the flood Ham went to the land of Nod, and took a wife; that Nod was a land far distant, inhabited by Cain's race, [Page 61] and that the flood did not reach it; and as Ham was sentenced to be a servant of ser­vants to his brethren, these two families be­ing thus joined, were undoubtedly fit only for slaves. I replied, the flood was a judg­ment upon the world for their abominations; and it was granted, that Cain's stock was the most wicked, and therefore unreasonable to suppose they were spared: as to Ham's go­ing to the land of Nod for a wife, no time being fixed, Nod might be inhabited by some of Noah's family, before Ham married a second time; moreover the text saith, ‘That all flesh died that moved upon the earth.’ Gen. vii. 21. I further reminded them, how the prophets repeatedly declare, ‘that the son shall not suffer for the iniqui­ty of the father; but every one be an­swerable for his own sins.’ I was trou­bled to perceive the darkness of their imagi­nations; and in some pressure of spirit said, the love of ease and gain are the motives in general of keeping slaves, and men are wont to take hold of weak arguments to support a cause which is unreasonable; and added, I have no interest on either side, save only the interest which I desire to have in the truth: and as I believe liberty is their right, and see they are not only deprived of it, but treated in other respects with inhumanity in many places, I believe He, who is a refuge for the oppressed, will, in his own time, plead their cause; and happy will it be for [Page 62] such, who walk in uprightness before him: and thus our conversation ended.

On the fourteenth day of the fifth month I was at Camp-Creek monthly-meeting, and then rode to the mountains up James-River, and had a meeting at a friend's house; in both which I felt sorrow of heart, and my tears were poured out before the Lord, who was pleased to afford a degree of strength by which way was opened to clear my mind amongst friends in those places. From thence I went to Fork-Creek, and so to Cedar-Creek again; at which place I now had a meeting; here I found a tender seed: and as I was pre­served in the ministry to keep low with the truth; the same truth in their hearts answer­ed it, that it was a time of mutual refresh­ment from the presence of the Lord. I lodged at James Standley's, father of William Stand­ley, one of the young men who suffered im­prisonment at Winchester last summer, on account of their testimony against fighting; and I had some satisfactory conversation with him concerning it. Hence I went to the Swamp-meeting, and to Wayanoke-meet­ing; and then crossed James-River, and lodged near Burleigh. From the time of my entering Maryland I have been much under sorrow, which of late so increased upon me, that my mind was almost overwhelmed; and I may say with the psalmist, ‘in my dis­tress I called upon the Lord, and cried to my God;’ who, in infinite goodness, looked upon my affliction, and in my pri­vate [Page 63] retirement sent the Comforter for my re­lief; for which I humbly bless his holy name.

The sense I had of the state of the churches, brought a weight of distress upon me: the gold to me appeared dim, and the fine gold changed; and though this is the case too ge­nerally, yet the sense of it in these parts hath, in a particular manner, borne heavy upon me. It appeared to me, that through the prevailing of the spirit of this world, the minds of many were brought to an inward desolation; and instead of the spirit of meek­ness, gentleness, and heavenly wisdom, which are the necessary companions of the true sheep of Christ, a spirit of fierceness, and the love of dominion, too generally prevailed. From small beginnings in errors, great buildings, by degrees, are raised; and from one age to another are more and more strengthened by the general concurrence of the people: and as men obtain reputation by their profession of the truth, their virtues are mentioned as arguments in favour of general error; and those of less note, to justify themselves, say, such and such good men did the like. By what other steps could the people of Judah arise to that heighth in wickedness, as to give just ground for the prophet Isaiah to de­clare in the name of the Lord, ‘that none calleth for justice, nor any pleadeth for truth:’ Isaiah lix. 4. or for the Almighty to call upon the great city of Jerusalem, just before the Babylonish captivity, ‘If ye can [Page 64] find a man, if there be any who executeth judgment, that seeketh the truth, and I will pardon it.’ Jer. v. 1. The prospect of a road lying open to the same degeneracy, in some parts of this newly settled land of Ame­rica, in respect to our conduct toward the negroes, hath deeply bowed my mind in this journey; and though to briefly relate how these people are treated is no agreeable work; yet, after often reading over the notes I made as I travelled, I find my mind engaged to preserve them. Many of the white people in those provinces take little or no care of negro marriages; and when negroes marry after their own way, some make so little account of those marriages, that with views of out­ward interest, they often part men from their wives by selling them far asunder; which is common when estates are sold by executors at vendue. Many whose labour is heavy, being followed, at their business in the field, by a man with a whip, hired for that pur­pose, have in common little else allowed but one peck of Indian corn and some salt for one week, with a few potatoes; the potatoes they commonly raise by their labour on the first day of the week.

The correction ensuing on their disobedi­ence to overseers, or slothfulness in business, is often very severe, and sometimes desperate.

Men and women have many times scarce cloaths enough to hide their nakedness, and boys and girls, ten and twelve years old, are often quite naked amongst their master's chil­dren: [Page 65] some of our society, and some of the society called new-lights, use some endea­vours to instruct those they have in reading; but in common this is not only neglected, but disapproved. These are the people by whose labour the other inhabitants are in a great measure supported, and many of them in the luxuries of life: these are the people who have made no agreement to serve us, and who have not forfeited their liberty that we know of: these are the souls for whom Christ died; and for our conduct toward them, we must answer before Him who is no respecter of persons.

They who know the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom he hath sent, and are thus acquainted with the merciful, benevolent, gospel spirit, will therein perceive that the indignation of God is kindled against oppres­sion and cruelty; and in beholding the great distress of so numerous a people, will find cause for mourning.

From my lodgings I went to Burleigh meeting, where I felt my mind drawn into a quiet resigned state; and after long silence, I felt an engagement to stand up; and thro' the powerful operation of divine love, we were favoured with an edifying meeting. The next meeting we had was at Black-Wa­ter; and so to the yearly-meeting at the Western Branch: when business began, some queries were considered, by some of their members, to be now produced; and if ap­proved, to be answered hereafter by their re­spective [Page 66] monthly-meetings. They were the Pennsylvania queries, which had been exa­mined by a committee of Virginia yearly-meeting appointed the last year, who made some alterations in them; one of which alte­rations was made in favour of a custom which troubled me. The query was, "Are there any concerned in the importation of negroes, or buying them after imported?" which they altered thus: "Are there any concerned in the importation of negroes, or buying them to trade in?" As one query ad­mitted with unanimity was, "Are any con­cerned in buying or vending goods unlaw­fully imported, or prize goods?" I found my mind engaged to say, that as we pro­fessed the truth, and were there assembled to support the testimony of it, it was necessary for us to dwell deep, and act in that wisdom which is pure, or otherwise we could not prosper. I then mentioned their alteration; and, referring to the last mentioned query, added, as purchasing any merchandize taken by the sword, was always allowed to be in­consistent with our principles; negroes be­ing captives of war, or taken by stealth, those circumstances make it inconsistent with our testimony to buy them; and their being our fellow-creatures, who are sold as slaves, adds greatly to the iniquity. Friends ap­peared attentive to what was said; some ex­pressed a care and concern about their ne­groes; none made any objection, by way of reply to what I said; but the query was ad­mitted [Page 67] as they had altered it. As some of their members have heretofore traded in negroes, as in other merchandize, this query, be­ing admitted, will be one step further than they have hitherto gone: and I did not see it my duty to press for an alteration; but felt easy to leave it all to Him, who alone is able to turn the hearts of the mighty, and make way for the spreading of truth on the earth, by means agreeable to his infinite wisdom. But in regard to those they already had, I felt my mind engaged to labour with them; and said, that, as we believe the scriptures were given forth by holy men, as they were moved by the Holy Ghost, and many of us know by experience that they are often help­ful and comfortable, and believe ourselves bound in duty to teach our children to read them, I believe, that if we were divested of all selfish views, the same good spirit that gave them forth, would engage us to teach the negroes to read, that they might have the benefit of them: some there were amongst them who, at this time, manifested a concern in regard to taking more care in the educa­tion of their negroes.

On the twenty-ninth day of the fifth month, at the house where I lodged, was a meeting of ministers and elders, at the ninth hour in the morning; at which time I found an engagement to speak freely and plainly to them concerning their slaves; mentioning, how they, as the first rank in the society, whose conduct in that case was much noticed [Page 68] by others, were under the stronger obliga­tions to look carefully to themselves: expres­sing how needful it was for them, in that si­tuation, to be thoroughly divested of all self­ish views; that living in the pure truth, and acting conscientiously toward those people in their education and otherwise, they might be instrumental in helping forward a work so exceeding necessary, and so much neglected amongst them. At the twelfth hour the meet­ing of worship began; which was a solid meeting.

On the thirtieth day, about the tenth hour, friends met to finish their business, and then the meeting for worship ensued, which to me was a laborious time; but, through the goodness of the Lord, truth, I believe, gained some ground; and it was a strengthening opportunity to the honest-hearted.

About this time I wrote an epistle to friends in the back settlements of North-Carolina, as follows:

To friends at their monthly-meeting at New-Garden and Cane-Creek, in North-Caroli­na.

[Page 73] From the yearly-meeting in Virginia, I went to Carolina; and on the first day of the sixth month, was at Wells monthly-meeting, where the spring of the gospel ministry was opened, and the love of Jesus Christ experi­enced amongst us: to his name be the praise.

Here my brother joined with some friends from New-Garden, who were going home­ward; and I went next to Simons-Creek monthly-meeting, where I was silent during the meeting for worship: and when business came on, my mind was exercised concerning the poor slaves; but did not feel my way clear to speak: in this condition I was bowed in spirit before the Lord; and with tears and inward supplication besought him, so to open my understanding, that I might know his will concerning me; and, at length, my mind was settled in silence: near the end of their business, a member of their meeting exprest a concern, that had some time lain upon him, on account of friends so much neglecting their duty in the education of their slaves; and proposed having meetings sometimes appointed for them on a week-day, to be only attended by some friends to be named in their monthly-meetings: many present appeared to unite with the proposal: one said, he had often wondered that they, being our fellow-creatures and capable of re­ligious understanding, had been so exceeding­ly neglected: another expressed the like con­cern, and appeared zealous, that friends, in future, might more closely consider it: at [Page 74] length a minute was made; and the further consideration of it referred to their next monthly-meeting. The friend who made this proposal hath negroes: he told me, that he was at New-Garden; about two hundred and fifty miles from home, and came back alone; and that in this solitary journey, this exer­cise, in regard to the education of their ne­groes, was, from time to time, renewed in his mind. A friend of some note in Virgi­nia, who hath slaves, told me, that he being far from home on a lonesome journey, had many serious thoughts about them; and that his mind was so imprest therewith, that he believed that he saw a time coming, when Divine Providence would alter the circum­stance of these people, respecting their con­dition as slaves.

From hence I went to Newbegun-Creek, and sat a considerable time in much weak­ness; then I felt truth open the way to speak a little in much plainness and simplici­ty, till, at length, through the increase of divine love amongst us, we had a seasoning opportunity. From thence to the head of Little-River on a first-day, where was a crouded meeting; and, I believe, was, thro' divine goodness, made profitable to some. Thence to the Old-Neck; where I was led into a careful searching out the secret work­ings of the mystery of iniquity, which, un­der a cover of religion, exalts itself against that pure spirit, which leads in the way of meekness and self-denial. From thence to [Page 75] Pineywoods: this was the last meeting I was at in Carolina, and was large; and my heart being deeply engaged, I was drawn forth in­to a fervent labour amongst them.

When I was at Newbegun-Creek, a friend was there who laboured for his living, hav­ing no negroes, and had been a minister many years: he came to me the next day; and as we rode together, he signified that he wanted to talk with me concerning a difficul­ty he had been under, and related it near as follows: to wit, That as monies had of late years been raised by a tax to carry on the wars, he had a scruple in his mind in regard to paying it, and chose rather to suffer distraint of his goods than pay it; and as he was the only person who refused it in those parts, and knew not that any one else was in the like circum­stances, and signified that it had been a heavy trial to him; and more so, for that some of his brethren had been uneasy with his conduct in that case: and added, that from a sympathy he felt with me yesterday in meeting, he found the freedom thus to open the matter, in the way of querying concerning friends in our parts: whereupon I told him the state of friends amongst us, as well as I was able; and also, that I had, for some time, been under the like scruple. I believed him to be one who was concerned to walk uprightly before the Lord; and esteemed it my duty to preserve this note concerning him Samuel Newby.

From hence I went back into Virginia, and had a meeting near James Cowpland's; it [Page 76] was a time of inward suffering; but, thro' the goodness of the Lord, I was made con­tent: then to another meeting; where, thro' the renewings of pure love, we had a very comfortable season.

Travelling up and down of late, I have had renewed evidences, that to be faithful to the Lord, and content with his will concern­ing me, is a most necessary and useful lesson for me to be learning; looking less at the ef­fects of my labour, than at the pure motion and reality of the concern, as it arises from heavenly love. In the Lord Jehovah is ever­lasting strength; and as the mind, by a hum­ble resignation, is united to him, and we utter words from an inward knowledge that they arise from the heavenly spring, though our way may be difficult, and require close attention to keep in it; and though the man­ner in which we may be led may tend to our own abasement; yet, if we continue in pa­tience and meekness, heavenly peace is the re­ward of our labours.

From thence I went to Curles-meeting; which, though small, was reviving to the honest-hearted. Thence to Black-Creek and Caroline meetings; from whence, accompa­nied by William Standley before-mentioned, we rode to Goose-Creek, being much thro' the woods, and about one hundred miles.—We lodged, the first night, at a publick-house; the second, in the woods; and the next day, we reached a friend's house, at Goose-Creek. In the woods we lay under [Page 77] some disadvantage, having no fireworks nor bells for our horses; but we stopped a little before night, and let them feed on the wild grass which was plenty; in the mean time cutting with our knives a store against night, and then tied them; and gathering some bush­es under an oak, we lay down; but the mus­quetoes being plenty and the ground damp, I slept but little: thus lying in the wilder­ness, and looking at the stars, I was led to contemplate on the condition of our first parents, when they were sent forth from the garden; but the Almighty, though they had been disobedient, continued to be a father to them; and shewed them what tended to their felicity as intelligent creatures, and was ac­ceptable to him. To provide things relative to our outward living, in the way of true wisdom is good; and the gift of improving in things useful, is a good gift, and comes from the Father of lights. Many have had this gift; and, from age to age, there have been improvements of this kind made in the world: but some not keeping to the pure gift, have, in the creaturely cunning and self-exaltation, sought out many inventions; which inventions of men, as distinct from that uprightness in which man was created, as the first motion to them was evil, so the effects have been and are evil. That, at this day, it is as necessary for us constantly to attend on the heavenly gift, to be qualified to use rightly the good things in this life amidst great improvements, as it was for our [Page 78] first parents, when they were without any improvements, without any friend or father but God only.

I was at a meeting at Goose-Creek; and next at a monthly-meeting at Fairfax; where, through the gracious dealing of the Almighty with us, his power prevailed over many hearts. Thence to Manoquacy and Pipe-Creek, in Maryland; at both which places I had cause humbly to adore Him, who sup­ported me through many exercises, and by whose help I was enabled to reach the true witness in the hearts of others: there were some hopeful young people in those parts. Thence I had meetings at John Everit's in Monalen, and at Huntingdon; and I was made humbly thankful to the Lord, who opened my heart amongst the people in these new settlements, so that it was a time of en­couragement to the honest-minded.

At Monalen, a friend gave me some ac­count of a religious society, among the Dutch, called mennonists; and, amongst other things, related a passage in substance as follows:—One of the mennonists having acquaintance with a man of another society at a consider­able distance, and being with his waggon on business near the house of his said acquain­tance, and night coming on, he had thoughts of putting up with him; but passing by his fields, and observing the distressed appear­ance of his slaves, he kindled a fire in the woods hard by, and lay there that night: his said acquaintance hearing where he lodg­ed, [Page 79] and, afterward meeting theme nnonist, told him of it; adding, he should have been heartily welcome at his house; and from their acquaintance in former time, wondered at his conduct in that case: the mennonist re­plied, ever since I lodged by thy field, I have wanted an opportunity to speak with thee: the matter was; I intended to have come to thy house for entertainment, but seeing thy slaves at their work, and observing the man­ner of their dress, I had no liking to come to partake with thee: then admonished him to use them with more humanity; and added, as I lay by the fire that night, I thought that as I was a man of substance, thou would have received me freely; but if I had been as poor as one of thy slaves, and had no power to help myself, I should have received from thy hand no kinder usage than they.

Hence I was at three meetings in my way: and so I went home, under a humbling sense of the gracious dealings of the Lord with me, in preserving me through many trials and afflictions in my journey. I was out about two months, and travelled about ele­ven hundred and fifty miles.

CHAP. V.

A FEW years past, money being made current in our province for carrying on wars, and to be called in again by taxes [...]aid on the inhabitants, my mind was often af­fected with the thoughts of paying such taxes; and I believe it right for me to pre­serve a memorandum concerning it: I was told, that friends in England frequently paid taxes, when the money was applied to such purposes: I had conversation with several noted friends on the subject, who all favour­ed the payment of such taxes; some of whom I preferred before myself, and this made me easier for a time; yet there was in the deeps [Page 81] of my mind, a scruple which I never could get over; and, at certain times, I was great­ly distressed on that account.

I all along believed that there were some upright-hearted men, who paid such taxes; but could not see that their example was a sufficient reason for me to do so, while I be­lieved that the spirit of truth required of me, as an individual, to suffer patiently the distress of goods, rather than pay actively.

I have been informed that Thomas à Kem­pis lived and died in the profession of the Roman catholic religion: and in reading his writings, I have believed him to be a man of a true christian spirit; as fully so, as many who died martyrs because they could not join with some superstitions in that church.

All true christians are of the same spirit, but their gifts are diverse; Jesus Christ ap­pointing to each one their peculiar office, agreeable to his infinite wisdom.

John Huss contended against the errors crept into the church, in opposition to the council of Constance; which the historian reports to have consisted of some thousand per­sons. He modestly vindicated the cause which he believed was right; and though his lan­guage and conduct toward his judges appear to have been respectful, yet he never could be moved from the principles settled in his mind. To use his own words: "This I most humbly require and desire of you all, even for His sake who is the God of us all, that I be not compelled to the thing which my [Page 82] conscience doth repugn or strive against." And again, in his answer to the emperor: "I refuse nothing, most noble emperor, whatsoever the council shall decree or deter­mine upon me, only this one thing I except, that I do not offend God and my conscience." Fox's Acts and Monuments, page 233. At length, rather than act contrary to that which he believed the Lord required of him, he chose to suffer death by fire. Thomas à Kempis, without disputing against the arti­cles then generally agreed to, appears to have laboured, by a pious example as well as by preaching and writing, to promote virtue and the inward spiritual religion: And I believe they were both sincere-hearted followers of Christ.

True charity is an excellent virtue: and sincerely to labour for their good, whose be­lief, in all points, doth not agree with ours, is a happy state. To refuse the active pay­ment of a tax which our society generally paid, was exceeding disagreeable; but to do a thing contrary to my conscience, appeared yet more dreadful. When this exercise came upon me, I knew of none under the like dif­ficulty; and, in my distress, I besought the Lord to enable me to give up all, that so I might follow him wheresoever he was pleased to lead me: and under this exercise, I went to our yearly-meeting at Philadelphia, in the year 1755; at which a committee was ap­pointed of some from each quarter, to cor­respond with the meeting for sufferings in [Page 83] London, and another to visit our monthly and quarterly-meetings; and after their ap­pointment, before the last adjournment of the meeting, it was agreed in the meeting, that these two committees should meet to­gether in friends school-house in the city, at a time then concluded on, to consider some things in which the cause of truth was concerned; and these committees meet­ing together, had a weighty conference in the fear of the Lord; at which time, I perceived, there were many friends under a scruple like that before-mentioned^*.

As scrupling to pay a tax on account of the application, hath seldom been heard of heretofore, even amongst men of integrity, who have steadily borne their testimony against outward wars in their time; I may here note some things which have occurred to my mind, as I have been inwardly exer­cised on that account: from the steady oppo­sition which faithful friends, in early times, made to wrong things then approved of, they were hated and persecuted by men living in the spirit of this world; and suffering with firmness, they were made a blessing to the church, and the work prospered. It equally concerns men, in every age, to take heed to their own spirit; and in comparing their situ­ation [Page 84] with ours, it looks to me there was less danger of their being infected with the spi­rit of this world, in paying such taxes, than there is of us now: they had little or no share in civil government; and many of them de­clared, they were, through the power of God, separated from the spirit in which wars were; and being afflicted by the rulers on account of their testimony, there was less likelihood of uniting in spirit with them in things in­consistent with the purity of truth. We, from the first settlement of this land, have known little or no troubles of that sort: their profession, for a time, was accounted re­proachful; but, at length, the uprightness of our predecessors being understood by the rulers, and their innocent sufferings moving them, our way of worship was tolerated; and many of our members in these colonies became active in civil government. Being thus tried with favour and prosperity, this world hath appeared inviting; our minds have been turned to the improvement of our country, to merchandize and sciences, amongst which are many things useful, being followed in pure wisdom; but in our present condition, that a carnal mind is gaining upon us, I be­lieve will not be denied. Some of our mem­bers, who are officers in civil government, are, in one case or other, called upon in their respective stations to assist in things relative to the wars; such being in doubt whether to act, or crave to be excused from their office, seeing their brethren united in the payment [Page 85] of a tax to carry on the said wars, might think their case not much different, and so quench the tender movings of the Holy Spi­rit in their minds; and thus, by small degrees, there might be an approach toward that of fighting, till we came so near it, as that the distinction would be little else, but the name of a peaceable people.

It requires great self-denial and resigna­tion of ourselves to God, to attain that state wherein we can freely cease from fighting when wrongfully invaded; if, by our fight­ing, there were a probability of overcoming the invaders: whoever rightly attains to it, does, in some degree, feel that spirit in which our Redeemer gave his life for us; and, thro' divine goodness, many of our predecessors, and many now living, have learned this blessed lesson; but many others, having their religion chiefly by education, and not being enough acquainted with that cross which crucifies to the world, do manifest a temper distinguish­able from that of an entire trust in God. In calmly considering these things, it hath not appeared strange to me, that an exercise hath now fallen upon some, which, as to the out­ward means of it, is different from what was known to many of those who went before us.

Some time after the yearly-meeting, a day being appointed, and letters wrote to distant members, the said committees met at Phila­delphia; and, by adjournments, continued several days. The calamities of war were now increasing; the frontier inhabitants of [Page 86] Pennsylvania were frequently surprized, some slain, and many taken captive by the Indians; and while these committees sat, the corps of one so slain was brought in a waggon, and taken through the streets of the city, in his bloody garments, to alarm the people, and rouse them up to war.

Friends thus met were not all of one mind in relation to the tax; which to such who scrupled it made the way more difficult. To refuse an active payment at such a time, might be construed an act of disloyalty, and appeared likely to displease the rulers, not only here but in England; still there was a scruple so fastened upon the minds of many friends, that nothing moved it: it was a conference the most weighty that ever I was at; and the hearts of many were bowed in reverence before the Most High. Some friends of the said committees who appeared easy to pay the tax, after several adjournments, with­drew; others of them continued till the last: at length, an epistle of tender love and cau­tion, to friends in Pennsylvania, was drawn by some friends concerned, on that subject; and being read several times and corrected, was then signed by such of them as were free to sign it, and afterward sent to the monthly and quarterly-meetings.

On the ninth day of the eighth month, in the year 1757, at night, orders came to the military officers in our county, (Burlington) directing them to draft the militia, and pre­pare a number of men to go off as soldiers, [Page 87] to the relief of the English at fort William-Henry, in New-York government: a few days after which, there was a general review of the militia at Mount-Holly, and a num­ber of men chosen and sent off under some officers. Shortly after, there came orders to draught three times as many, to hold them­selves in readiness to march when fresh or­ders came: and on the seventeenth day of the eighth month, there was a meeting of the military officers at Mount-Holly, who agreed on a draught; and orders were sent to the men so chosen, to meet their respective captains at set times and places; those in our township to meet at Mount-Holly; amongst whom were a considerable number of our society. My mind being affected herewith, I had fresh opportunity to see and consider the advantage of living in the real substance of religion, where practice doth harmonize with principle. Amongst the officers are men of understanding, who have some regard to sincerity where they see it; and in the exe­cution of their office, when they have men to deal with whom they believe to be up­right-hearted, to put them to trouble on ac­count of scruples of conscience, is a painful task, and likely to be avoided as much as easily as may be: but where men profess to be so meek and heavenly-minded, and to have their trust so firmly settled in God, that they cannot join in wars; and yet, by their spirit and conduct in common life, manifest [Page 88] a contrary disposition, their difficulties are great at such a time.

Officers in great anxiety endeavouring to get troops to answer the demands of their su­periors, seeing men, who are insincere, pre­tend scruple of conscience, in hopes of be­ing excused from a dangerous employment, they are likely to be roughly handled. In this time of commotion some of our young men left the parts, and tarried abroad till it was over; some came, and proposed to go as soldiers; others appeared to have a real tender scruple in their minds against joining in wars, and were much humbled under the apprehension of a trial so near: I had con­versation with several of them to my satisfac­tion. At the set time when the captain came to town, some of those last-mentioned went and told him in substance as follows:—That they could not bear arms for conscience-sake; nor could they hire any to go in their places, being resigned as to the event of it: at length the captain acquainted them all, that they might return home for the present, and required them to provide themselves as soldiers, and to be in readiness to march when called upon. This was such a time as I had not seen before; and yet I may say, with thankfulness to the Lord, that I believed this trial was intended for our good; and I was favoured with resignation to him. The French army taking the fort they were besieging, de­stroyed it and went away: the company of [Page 89] men first draughted, after some days march, had orders to return home; and those on the second draught, were no more called upon on that occasion.

On the fourth day of the fourth month, in the year 1758, orders came to some officers, in Mount-Holly, to prepare quarters, a short time, for about one hundred soldiers: and an officer and two other men, all inhabitants of our town, came to my house; and the of­ficer told me, that he came to speak with me, to provide lodging and entertainment for two soldiers, there being six shillings a week per man allowed as pay for it. The case being new and unexpected, I made no answer sud­denly; but sat a time silent, my mind being inward: I was fully convinced, that the pro­ceedings in wars are inconsistent with the purity of the christian religion; and to be hired to entertain men, who were then under pay as soldiers, was a difficulty with me. I expected they had legal authority for what they did; and, after a short time, I said to the officer, if the men are sent here for en­tertainment, I believe I shall not refuse to ad­mit them into my house; but the nature of the case is such, that I expect I cannot keep them on hire: one of the men intimated, that he thought I might do it consistent with my religious principles: to which I made no reply; as believing silence, at that time, best for me. Though they spake of two, there came only one, who tarried at my house about two weeks, and behaved himself civilly; and [Page 90] when the officer came to pay me, I told him I could not take pay for it, having admitted him into my house in a passive obedience to authority. I was on horseback when he spake to me: and as I turned from him, he said, he was obliged to me: to which I said nothing; but thinking on the expression, I grew uneasy; and afterwards, being near where he lived, I went and told him on what grounds I refused taking pay for keeping the soldier.

Near the beginning of the year 1758, I went one evening, in company with a friend, to visit a sick person; and before our re­turn, we were told of a woman living near, who, of late, had several days been discon­solate, occasioned by a dream; wherein death, and the judgments of the Almighty after death, were represented to her mind in a moving manner: her sadness, on that ac­count, being worn off; the friend, with whom I was in company, went to see her, and had some religious conversation with her and her husband: with this visit they were somewhat affected; and the man, with many tears, expressed his satisfaction: and, in a short time after, the poor man being on the river in a storm of wind, he, with one more, was drowned.

In the eighth month of the year 1758, having had drawings in my mind to be at the quarterly-meeting in Chester county, and at some meetings in the county of Philadel­phia, I went first to said quarterly-meeting, [Page 91] which was large; and several weighty mat­ters came under consideration and debate; and the Lord was pleased to qualify some of his servants with strength and firmness, to bear the burthen of the day: though I said but little, my mind was deeply exercised; and, under a sense of God's love, in the an­ointing and fitting some young men for his work, I was comforted, and my heart was tendered before him. From hence I went to the youths meeting at Darby, where my be­loved friend and brother Benjamin Jones met me, by an appointment before I left home, to join in the visit: and we were at Radnor, Merion, Richland, North-Wales, Plymouth, and Abington meetings; and had cause to bow in reverence before the Lord our graci­ous God, by whose help way was opened for us from day to day. I was out about two weeks, and rode about two hundred miles.

The monthly-meeting of Philadelphia hav­ing been under a concern, on account of some friends, who this summer (1758) had bought negro slaves: the said meeting moved it to their quarterly-meeting, to have the minute recon­sidered in the yearly-meeting, which was made last on that subject: and the said quar­terly-meeting appointed a committee to con­sider it, and report to their next; which committee having met once and adjourned, and I going to Philadelphia to meet a com­mittee of the yearly-meeting, was in town the evening on which the quarterly-meeting's [Page 92] committee met the second time; and finding an inclination to sit with them, was, with some others, admitted; and friends had a weighty conference on the subject: and soon after their next quarterly-meeting, I heard that the case was coming to our yearly-meet­ing; which brought a weighty exercise upon me, and under a sense of my own infirmi­ties, and the great danger I felt of turning aside from perfect purity, my mind was of­ten drawn to retire alone, and put up my prayers to the Lord, that he would be gra­ciously pleased to strengthen me; that setting aside all views of self-interest and the friend­ship of this world, I might stand fully re­signed to his holy will.

In this yearly-meeting, several weighty matters were considered; and toward the last, that in relation to dealing with persons who purchase slaves. During the several sittings of the said meeting, my mind was frequent­ly covered with inward prayer; and I could say with David, ‘that tears were my meat day and night.’ The case of slave-keeping lay heavy upon me; nor did I find any en­gagement to speak directly to any other mat­ter before the meeting. Now when this case was opened, several faithful friends spake weightily thereto, with which I was com­forted; and feeling a concern to cast in my mite, I said, in substance, as follows:

"In the difficulties attending us in this life, nothing is more precious than the mind of truth inwardly manifested; and it is my [Page 93] earnest desire, that in this weighty matter, we may be so truly humbled as to be favour­ed with a clear understanding of the mind of truth, and follow it; this would be of more advantage to the society, than any me­dium not in the clearness of divine wisdom. The case is difficult to some who have them; but if such set aside all self-interest, and come to be weaned from the desire of getting es­tates, or even from holding them together, when truth requires the contrary, I believe way will open that they will know how to steer through those difficulties."

Many friends appeared to be deeply bow­ed under the weight of the work; and mani­fested much firmness in their love to the cause of truth, and universal righteousness on the earth: and though none did openly justify the practice of slave-keeping in general, yet some appeared concerned, lest the meeting should go into such measures, as might give uneasiness to many brethren; alledging, that if friends patiently continued under the ex­ercise, the Lord, in time to come, might open a way for the deliverance of these peo­ple: and I finding an engagement to speak, said, "My mind is often led to consider the purity of the Divine Being, and the justice of his judgments; and herein my soul is co­vered with awfulness: I cannot omit to hint of some cases, where people have not been treated with the purity of justice, and the event hath been lamentable: Many slaves on this continent are oppressed, and their cries [Page 94] have reached the ears of the Most High. Such are the purity and certainty of his judgments, that he cannot be partial in our favour. In infinite love and goodness, he hath opened our understandings from one time to another, concerning our duty toward this people; and it is not a time for delay. Should we now be sensible of what he requires of us, and through a respect to the private in­terest of some persons, or through a regard to some friendships which do not stand on an immutable foundation, neglect to do our du­ty in firmness and constancy, still waiting for some extraordinary means to bring about their deliverance; it may be by terrible things in righteousness, God may answer us in this matter."

Many faithful brethren laboured with great firmness; and the love of truth, in a good degree, prevailed. Several friends, who had negroes, expressed their desire that a rule might be made, to deal with such friends as offenders who bought slaves in future: to this it was answered, that the root of this evil would never be effectually struck at, un­til a thorough search was made into the cir­cumstances of such friends who kept negroes, with respect to the righteousness of their motives in keeping them, that impartial jus­tice might be administered throughout. Seve­ral friends expressed their desire, that a visit might be made to such friends who kept slaves: and many friends said, that they be­lieved [Page 95] liberty was the negroes right; to which, at length, no opposition was made publicly: a minute was made more full on that sub­ject, than any heretofore; and the names of several friends entered, who were free to join in a visit to such who kept slaves.

CHAP. VI.

ON the eleventh day of the eleventh month, in the year 1758, I set out for Concord; the quarterly-meeting, heretofore held there, was now, by reason of a great increase of members, divided into two by the agreement of friends, at our last yearly meeting. Here [Page 96] I met with our beloved friends Samuel Spa­vold and Mary Kirby from England, and with Joseph White from Bucks county, who had taken leave of his family in order to go on a religious visit to friends in England; and, through divine goodness, we were fa­voured with a strengthening opportunity to­gether.

After this meeting I joined with my friends Daniel Stanton and John Scarborough, in visiting friends who had slaves; and at night we had a family meeting at William Trim­ble's, many young people being there; and it was a precious reviving opportunity. Next morning we had a comfortable sitting with a sick neighbour; and thence to the burial of the corpse of a friend at Uwchland meeting, at which were many people, and it was a time of divine favour; after which, we vi­sited some who had slaves; and, at night, had a family meeting at a friend's house, where the channel of gospel love was opened, and my mind was comforted after a hard day's labour. The next day we were at Go­shen monthly-meeting: and thence, on the eighteenth day of the eleventh month, in the year 1758, attended the quarterly-meet­ing at London-Grove, it being the first held at that place. Here we met again with all the before-mentioned friends, and had some edi­fying meetings: and near the conclusion of the meeting for business, friends were incited to constancy in supporting the testimony of truth, and reminded of the necessity which [Page 97] the disciples of Christ are under to attend principally to his business, as he is pleased to open it to us: and to be particularly care­ful to have our minds redeemed from the love of wealth; to have our outward affairs in as little room as may be; that no temporal con­cerns may entangle our affections, or hinder us from from diligently following the dictates of truth, in labouring to promote the pure spirit of meekness and heavenly-mindedness amongst the children of men, in these days of calamity and distress; wherein God is vi­siting our land with his just judgments.

Each of these quarterly-meetings were large, and sat near eight hours. Here I had occasion to consider, that it is a weighty thing to speak much in large meetings for business: first, except our minds are rightly prepared, and we clearly understand the case we speak to, instead of forwarding, we hinder busi­ness, and make more labour for those on whom the burthen of the work is laid.

If selfish views, or a partial spirit, have any room in our minds, we are unfit for the Lord's work; if we have a clear prospect of the business, and proper weight on our minds to speak, it behoves us to avoid useless apologies and repetitions: where people are gathered from far, and adjourning a meet­ing of business is attended with great diffi­culty, it behoves all to be cautious how they detain a meeting; especially when they have sat six or seven hours, and have a great dis­tance [Page 98] to ride home. After this meeting I rode home.

In the beginning of the twelfth month of the year 1758, I joined in company with my friends John Sykes and Daniel Stanton, in visiting such who had slaves: some, whose hearts were rightly exercised about them, ap­peared to be glad of our visit; but in some places our way was more difficult; and I of­ten saw the necessity of keeping down to that root from whence our concern proceeded; and have cause, in reverent thankfulness, humbly to bow down before the Lord, who was near to me, and preserved my mind in calmness under some sharp conflicts, and be­gat a spirit of sympathy and tenderness in me, toward some who were grievously en­tangled by the spirit of this world.

In the first month of the year 1759, hav­ing found my mind drawn to visit some of the more active members, in our society at Philadelphia, who had slaves, I met my friend John Churchman there by an agreement; and we continued about a week in the city: we visited some that were sick, and some wi­dows and their families; and the other part of our time was mostly employed in visiting such who had slaves—It was a time of deep exercise, looking often to the Lord for his as­sistance; who, in unspeakable kindness, fa­voured us with the influence of that spirit, which crucifies to the greatness and splendor of this world, and enabled us to go through [Page 99] some heavy labours, in which we found peace.

On the twenty-fourth day of the third month, of this year, I was at our Gene­ral spring meeting at Philadelphia: after which, I again joined with John Churchman on a visit to some more, who had slaves in Philadelphia; and, with thankfulness to our heavenly Father, I may say, that divine love and a true sympathizing tenderness of heart, prevailed at times in this service.

Having, at times, perceived a shyness in some friends, of considerable note, towards me, I found an engagement in gospel love to pay a visit to one of them; and as I dwelt un­der the exercise, I felt a resignedness in my mind to go: so I went, and told him in pri­vate, I had a desire to have an opportunity with him alone; to which he readily agreed: and then, in the fear of the Lord, things relating to that shyness were searched to the bottom; and we had a large conference, which, I believe, was of use to both of us; and am thankful that way was opened for it.

On the fourteenth day of the sixth month, in the same year, having felt drawings in my mind to visit friends about Salem, and having the approbation of our monthly-meeting therein, I attended their quarterly-meeting, and was out seven days, and at seven meetings; in some of which I was chiefly silent, and in others, thro' the bap­tizing power of truth, my heart was en­larged [Page 100] in heavenly love, and found a near fellowship with the brethren and sisters, in the manifold trials attending their christian progress through this world.

In the seventh month, I found an in­creasing concern on my mind to visit some active members in our society who had slaves; and having no opportunity of the company of such who were named on the minutes of the yearly-meeting, I went alone to their houses, and, in the fear of the Lord, acquainted them with the exercise I was un­der: and thus, sometimes, by a few words, I found myself discharged from a heavy bur­then.

After this, our friend John Churchman coming into our province with a view to be at some meetings, and to join again in the visit to those who had slaves, I bore him company in the said visit to some active mem­bers, and found inward satisfaction.

At our yearly-meeting in the year 1759, we had some weighty seasons; where the power of truth was largely extended, to the strengthening of the honest-minded. As friends read over the epistles, to be sent to the yearly-meetings along this continent, I observed in most of them, both this year and last, it was recommended to friends to la­bour against buying and keeping slaves; and in some of them closely treated upon. As this practice hath long been a heavy exercise to me, and I have often waded through mor­tifying labours on that account; and, at [Page 101] times, in some meetings been almost alone therein. Now observing the increasing con­cern in our religious society, and seeing how the Lord was raising up and qualifying ser­vants for his work, not only in this respect, but for promoting the cause of truth in ge­neral, I was humbly bowed in thankfulness before him. This meeting continued near a week: and, for several days, in the forepart of it, my mind was drawn into a deep in­ward stillness; and being, at times, covered with the spirit of supplication, my heart was secretly poured out before the Lord: and near the conclusion of the meeting for busi­ness way opened, that, in the pure flowings of divine love, I expressed what lay upon me; which, as it then arose in my mind, was "first to shew how deep answers to deep in the hearts of the sincere and upright; though, in their different growths they may not all have attained to the same clearness in some points relating to our testimony: and I was led to mention the integrity and constancy of many martyrs, who gave their lives for the testi­mony of Jesus; and yet, in some points, held doctrines distinguishable from some which we hold: and that, in all ages where people were faithful to the light and under­standing which the Most High afforded them, they found acceptance with him; and that now, though there are different ways of thinking amongst us in some particulars, yet, if we mutually kept to that spirit and power which crucifies to the world, which teaches [Page 102] us to be content with things really needful, and to avoid all superfluities, giving up our hearts to fear and serve the Lord, true unity may still be preserved amongst us: and that if such, who were, at times, under sufferings on account of some scruples of conscience, kept low and humble, and in their conduct in life manifested a spirit of true charity; it would be more likely to reach the witness in others, and be of more service in the church, than if their sufferings were attend­ed with a contrary spirit and conduct." In which exercise I was drawn into a sympa­thizing tenderness with the sheep of Christ, however distinguished one from another in this world; and the like disposition appeared to spread over others in the meeting. Great is the goodness of the Lord toward his poor creatures.

An epistle went forth from this yearly-meeting, which I think good to give a place in this journal; being as follows:

[Page 103] From the yearly-meeting held at Philadel­phia, for Pennsylvania and New-Jersey, from the twenty-second day of the ninth month, to the twenty-eighth day of the same, inclusive, 1759.

To the quarterly and monthly meetings of friends belonging to the said yearly-meet­ing.

[Page 110] On the twenty-eighth day of the eleventh month, in the year 1759, I was at the quar­terly-meeting in Bucks county: this day be­ing the meeting of ministers and elders, my heart was enlarged in the love of Jesus Christ; and the favour of the Most High was ex­tended to us in that and the ensuing meet­ing.

I had conversation, at my lodging, with my beloved friend Samuel Eastburn; who expressed a concern to join in a visit to some friends, in that county, who had negroes; and as I had felt a draught in my mind to that work in the said county, I came home and put things in order: on the eleventh day of the twelfth month following, I went over the river; and on the next day was at Buckingham meeting; where, through the descendings of heavenly dew, my mind was comforted, and drawn into a near unity with the flock of Jesus Christ.

Entering upon this visit appeared weighty: and before I left home my mind was often sad; under which exercise I felt, at times, the Holy Spirit which helps our infirmities; through which, in private, my prayers were, at times, put up to God, that he would be pleased to purge me from all selfishness, that I might be strengthened to discharge my duty faithfully, how hard soever to the na­tural part. We proceeded on the visit in a weighty frame of spirit, and went to the houses of the most active members, through­out the county, who had negroes; and, [Page 111] through the goodness of the Lord, my mind was preserved in resignation in times of trial, and though the work was hard to nature, yet through the strength of that love which is stronger than death, tenderness of heart was often felt amongst us in our visits, and we parted from several families with greater satisfaction than we expected.

We visited Joseph White's family, he be­ing in England; had also a family sitting at the house of an elder who bore us company, and was at Makefield on a first day: at all which times my heart was truly thankful to the Lord, who was graciously pleased to re­new his loving-kindness to us, his poor ser­vants, uniting us together in his work.

In the winter of this year, the small-pox be­ing in our town, and many being inoculated, of which a few died, some things were open­ed in my mind, which I wrote as follow:

The more fully our lives are conformable to the will of God, the better it is for us.—I have looked on the small-pox as a messenger from the Almighty, to be an assistant in the cause of virtue, and to incite us to consider whether we employ our time only in such things as are consistent with perfect wisdom and goodness.

Building houses suitable to dwell in, for ourselves and our creatures; preparing cloath­ing suitable for the climate and season, and food convenient, are all duties incumbent on us: and under these general heads, are many branches of business, in which we [Page 112] may venture health and life, as necessity may require.

This disease being in a house, and my business calling me to go near it, it incites me to think, whether this business is a real indispensible duty; whether it is not in con­formity to some custom, which would be better laid aside; or, whether it does not proceed from too eager a pursuit after some outward treasure. If the business before me springs not from a clear understanding, and a regard to that use of things which perfect wisdom approves; to be brought to a sense of it, and stopped in my pursuit, is a kind­ness; for when I proceed to business with­out some evidence of duty, I have found, by experience, that it tends to weakness.

If I am so situated that there appears no probability of missing the infection, it tends to make me think, whether my manner of life, in things outward, has nothing in it which may unfit my body to receive this messenger in a way the most favourable to me. Do I use food and drink in no other sort, and in no other degree, than was de­signed by Him, who gave these creatures for our sustenance? Do I never abuse my body by inordinate labour, striving to accomplish some end which I have unwisely proposed? Do I use action enough in some useful em­ploy? Or, do I sit too much idle, while some persons, who labour to support me, have too great a share of it? If, in any of these [Page 113] things, I am deficient, to be incited to con­sider it, is a favour to me.

There is employ necessary in social life; and this infection, which often proves mor­tal, incites me to think, whether these social acts of mine are real duties: if I go on a visit to the widows and fatherless, do I go purely on a principle of charity, free from any selfish views? If I go to a religious meeting, it puts me on thinking, whether I go in sincerity and in a clear sense of duty; or whether it is not partly in conformity to custom, or partly from a sensible delight which my animal spirits feel in the com­pany of other people; and whether to sup­port my reputation as a religious man, has no share in it.

Do affairs, relating to civil society, call me near this infection? If I go, it is at the hazard of my health and life; and becomes me to think seriously, whether love to truth and righteousness is the motive of my attending; whether the manner of proceeding, is alto­gether equitable; or whether aught of nar­rowness, party interest, respect to outward dignities, names, or distinctions among men, do not stain the beauty of those assemblies, and render it doubtful, in point of duty, whether a disciple of Christ ought to attend as a member united to the body or not.

Whenever there are blemishes which, for a series of time, remain such; that which is a means of stirring us up to look atten­tively on these blemishes, and to labour ac­cording [Page 114] to our capacities, to have health and soundness restored in our country, we may justly account a kindness from our gracious Father, who appointed that mean.

The care of a wise and good man for his only son, is inferior to the regard of the great Parent of the universe for his creatures. He hath the command of all the powers and operations in nature; and "doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men:" chastisement is intended for instruction, and instruction being received by gentle chastise­ment, greater calamities are prevented.

By an earthquake hundreds of houses are sometimes shaken down in a few minutes, and multitudes of people perish suddenly; and many more being crushed and bruised in the ruins of the buildings, pine away and die in great misery.

By the breaking in of enraged merciless armies, flourishing countries have been laid waste, and great numbers of people perished in a short time, and many more pressed with poverty and grief.

By the pestilence people have died so fast in a city, that through fear, grief and con­fusion, those in health have found great dif­ficulty in burying the dead, even without coffins.

By famine, great numbers of people, in some places, have been brought to the ut­most distress, and pined away for want of the necessaries of life. Thus, where the kind invitations, and gentle chastisements, of a [Page 115] gracious God have not been attended to his sore judgments have, at times, been poured out upon people.

While some rules approved in civil so­ciety, and conformable to human policy, so called, are distinguishable from the purity of truth and righteousness: while many pro­fessing truth, are declining from that ardent love and heavenly mindedness, which was amongst the primitive followers of Jesus Christ: it is a time for us to attend diligent­ly to the intent of every chastisement, and consider the most deep and inward design of them.

The Most High doth not often speak with an outward voice to our outward ears; but, if we humbly meditate on his perfections, consider that he is perfect wisdom and good­ness, and to afflict his creatures to no pur­pose, would be utterly reverse to his nature, we shall hear and understand his language, both in his gentle and more heavy chastise­ments; and take heed that we do not, in the wisdom of this world, endeavour to escape his hand by means too powerful for us.

Had he endowed men with understanding to hinder the force of this disease by inno­cent means, which had never proved mor­tal nor hurtful to our bodies, such discovery might be considered as the period of chastise­ment by this distemper, where that know­ledge extended: but as life and health are his gifts, and not to be disposed of in our own wills, to take upon us, when in health, [Page 116] a distemper, of which some die, requires great clearness of knowledge, that it is our duty to do so.

CHAP. VII.

HAVING, for some time past, felt a sympathy in my mind with friends Eastward, I opened my concern in our month­ly-meeting; and, obtaining a certificate, set forward on the seventeenth day of the fourth month, in the year 1760, joining in com­pany, by a previous agreement, with my be­loved friend Samuel Eastburn. We had meet­ings at Woodbridge, Rahaway and Plain­field; and were at their monthly-meeting of ministers and elders in Rahaway. We la­boured under some discouragement; but, through the invisible power of truth, our vi­sit was made reviving to the lowly minded, with whom I felt a near unity of spirit, be­ing [Page 117] much reduced in my mind. We passed on, and visited chief of the meetings on Long-Island. It was my concern, from day to day, to say no more nor less than what the spirit of truth opened in me, being jea­lous over myself, lest I should speak any thing to make my testimony look agreeable to that mind in people, which is not in pure obedience to the cross of Christ.

The spring of the ministry was often low; and, through the subjecting power of truth, we were kept low with it; and from place to place, such whose hearts were truly concern­ed for the cause of Christ, appeared to be comforted in our labours; and, though it was in general a time of abasement of the creature, yet, through His goodness, who is a helper of the poor, we had some truly edifying seasons both in meetings, and in fa­milies where we tarried; and sometimes found strength to labour earnestly with the unfaithful, especially with those, whose sta­tion in families, or in the society was such, that their example had a powerful tendency to open the way for others to go aside from the purity and soundness of the blessed truth. At Jericho, on Long-Island, I wrote home as follows:

We crossed from the east end of Long-Island to New-London, about thirty miles, in a large open boat; while we were out, the wind rising high, the waves several times beat over us, that to me it appeared danger­ons; but my mind was, at that time, turn­ed to Him, who made and governs the deep, and my life was resigned to him: and as he was mercifully pleased to preserve us, I had fresh occasion to consider every day as a day lent to me; and felt a renewed engagement to devote my time, and all I had, to Him who gave it.

We had five meetings in Narraganset; and went thence to Newport on Rhode-Island. [Page 120] Our gracious Father preserved us in an hum­ble dependance on him through deep exer­cises, that were mortifying to the creaturely will. In several families in the country, where we lodged, I felt an engagement on my mind to have a conference with them in private concerning their slaves; and, thro' divine aid, I was favoured to give up there­to: though, in this concern, I appear sin­gular from many, whose service in travelling, I believe, is greater than mine; I do not think hard of them for omitting it; I do not repine at having so unpleasant a task as­signed me, but look with awfulness to Him, who appoints to his servants their respective employments, and is good to all who serve him sincerely.

We got to Newport in the evening: and on the next day visited two sick persons, and had comfortable sittings with them; and in the afternoon attended the burial of a friend.

The next day we were at meetings at Newport, in the forenoon and afternoon; where the spring of the ministry was opened, and strength given to declare the Word of Life to the people.

The next day we went on our journey; but the great number of slaves in these parts, and the continuance of that trade from thence to Guinea, made deep impression on me; and my cries were often put up to my heavenly Father in secret, that he would enable me to discharge my duty faithfully, in such way as he might be pleased to point out to me.

[Page 121] We took Swansea, Freetown, and Tanton, in our way to Boston; where also we had a meeting; our exercise was deep, and the love of truth prevailed, for which I bless the Lord. We went eastward about eighty miles beyond Boston, taking meetings, and were in a good degree preserved in an humble de­pendance on that arm which drew us out; and, though we had some hard labour with the disobedient, laying things home and close to such as were stout against the truth; yet, thro' the goodness of God, we had, at times, to partake of heavenly comfort with them who were meek, and were often favoured to part with friends in the nearness of true gospel fel­lowship. We returned to Boston, and had another comfortable opportunity with friends there; and thence rode back a day's journey eastward of Boston: our guide being a heavy man, and the weather hot, and my companion and I considering it, expressed our freedom to go on without him, to which he consented, and we respectfully took our leave of him; this we did, as believing the journey would have been hard to him and his horse.

We visited the meetings in those parts, and were measurably baptized into a feeling of the state of the society; and in bowedness of spirit went to the yearly-meeting at New­port; where I understood that a large num­ber of slaves were imported from Africa into that town, and then on sale by a member of our society. At this meeting we met with John Storer from England, Elizabeth Ship­ley, [Page 122] Ann Gaunt, Hannah Foster, and Mercy Redman from our parts, all ministers of the gospel, of whose company I was glad.

At this time my appetite failed, and I grew outwardly weak, and had a feeling of the condition of Habbakuk, as there ex­pressed. "When I heard my belly trembled, my lips quivered, I trembled in myself that I might rest in the day of trouble;" I had ma­ny cogitations, and was sorely distressed: and was desirous that friends might petition the legislature, to use their endeavours to discou­rage the future importation of slaves; for I saw that this trade was a great evil, and tended to multiply troubles, and bring dis­tresses on the people in those parts, for whose welfare my heart was deeply concerned.

But I perceived several difficulties in regard to petitioning; and such was the exercise of my mind, that I had thought of endeavour­ing to get an opportunity to speak a few words in the House of Assembly, then setting in town. This exercise came upon me in the afternoon, on the second day of the yearly-meeting, and going to bed, I got no sleep till my mind was wholly resigned therein; and in the morning I enquired of a friend how long the Assembly were likely to conti­nue sitting; who told me, they were expect­ed to be prorogued that day or the next.

As I was desirous to attend the business of the meeting, and perceived the Assembly were likely to depart before the business was over; after considerable exercise, humbly [Page 123] seeking to the Lord for instruction, my mind settled to attend on the business of the meet­ing; on the last day of which, I had pre­pared a short essay of a petition to be pre­sented to the legislature, if way opened: and being informed that there were some ap­pointed, by that yearly-meeting, to speak with those in authority, in cases relating to the society, I opened my mind to several of them, and shewed them the essay I had made; and afterward opened the case in the meet­ing for business, in substance as follows:

"I have been under a concern for some time, on account of the great number of slaves which are imported into this colony; I am aware that it is a tender point to speak to, but apprehend I am not clear in the sight of heaven without speaking to it. I have pre­pared an essay of a petition, if way open, to be presented to the legislature; and what I have to propose to this meeting is, that some friends may be named to withdraw and look over it, and report whether they believe it suitable to be read in the meeting; if they should think well of reading it, it will re­main for the meeting, after hearing it, to consider, whether to take any further notice of it as a meeting or not." After a short con­ference some friends went out, and looking over it, expressed their willingness to have it read; which being done, many expressed their unity with the proposal; and some sig­nified, that to have the subjects of the peti­tion enlarged upon, and to be signed out of [Page 124] meeting by such who were free, would be more suitable than to do it there: though I expected at first, that if it was done it would be in that way; yet, such was the ex­ercise of my mind, that to move it in the hearing of friends when assembled, appeared to me as a duty; for my heart yearned to­ward the inhabitants of these parts; believ­ing that by this trade there had been an in­crease of inquietude amongst them, and a way made easy for the spreading of a spirit oppo­site to that meekness and humility, which is a sure resting-place for the soul: and that the continuance of this trade would not only render their healing more difficult, but in­crease their malady.

Having thus far proceeded, I felt easy to leave the essay amongst friends, for them to proceed in it as they believed best. And now an exercise revived on my mind in relation to lotteries, which were common in those parts: I had once moved it in a former sitting of this meeting, when arguments were used in favour of friends being held ex­cused, who were only concerned in such lot­teries as were agreeable to law: and now on moving it again, it was opposed as before; but the hearts of some solid friends appeared to be united to discourage the practice a­mongst their members; and the matter was zealously handled by some on both sides. In this debate it appeared very clear to me, that the spirit of lotteries was a spirit of selfish­ness, which tended to confusion and dark­ness [Page 125] of understanding; and that pleading for it in our meetings, set apart for the Lord's work, was not right: and in the heat of zeal, I once made reply to what an antient friend said, which when I sat down, I saw that my words were not enough seasoned with chari­ty; and after this, I spake no more on the subject. At length a minute was made; a copy of which was agreed to be sent to their several quarterly-meetings, inciting friends to labour to discourage the practice amongst all professing with us.

Some time after this minute was made, I remaining uneasy with the manner of my speaking to the antient friend, could not see my way clear to conceal my uneasiness, but was concerned that I might say nothing to weaken the cause in which I had laboured; and then, after some close exercise and hearty repentance, for that I had not attended close­ly to the safe guide, I stood up, and reciting the passage, acquainted friends, that tho' I dare not go from what I had said as to the matter, yet I was uneasy with the manner of my speaking, as believing milder lan­guage would have been better. As this was uttered in some degree of creaturely abase­ment, it appeared to have a good savor amongst us, after a warm debate.

The yearly-meeting being now over, there yet remained on my mind a secret, though heavy, exercise in regard to some leading ac­tive members about Newport, being in the practice of slave-keeping. This I mentioned [Page 126] to two antient friends, who came out of the country, and proposed to them, if way opened, to have some conversation with those friends: and thereupon, one of those country friends and I, consulted one of the most noted elders who had slaves; and he, in a respectful manner, encouraged me to pro­ceed to clear myself of what lay upon me. Now I had, near the beginning of the yearly-meeting, a private conference with this said elder and his wife, concerning theirs; so that the way seemed clear to me, to advise with him about the manner of proceeding: I told him, I was free to have a conference with them all together in a private house; or if he thought they would take it unkind to be asked to come together, and to be spoke with one in the hearing of another, I was free to spend some time among them, and visit them all in their own houses: he expressed his lik­ing to the first proposal, not doubting their willingness to come together: and as I pro­posed a visit to only ministers, elders, and overseers; he named some others, whom he desired might be present also: and as a care­ful messenger was wanted to acquaint them in a proper manner, he offered to go to all their houses to open the matter to them; and did so. About the eighth hour the next morning, we met in the meeting-house cham­ber, and the last-mentioned country friend, also my companion, and John Storer with us: when, after a short time of retirement, I acquainted them with the steps I had taken [Page 127] in procuring that meeting, and opened the concern I was under; and so we proceeded to a free conference upon the subject. My exercise was heavy, and I was deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, who was pleased to favour with the seasoning virtue of truth, which wrought a tenderness amongst us; and the subject was mutually handled in a calm and peaceable spirit: and, at length, feeling my mind released from that burthen which I had been under, I took my leave of them, in a good degree of satisfaction; and by the tenderness they manifested in regard to the practice, and the concern several of them ex­pressed in relation to the manner of disposing of their negroes after their decease, I believ­ed that a good exercise was spreading amongst them; and I am humbly thankful to God, who supported my mind, and preserved me in a good degree of resignation through these trials.

Thou, who sometimes travels in the work of the ministry, and art made very welcome by thy friends, seest many tokens of their satisfaction, in having thee for their guest. It is good for thee to dwell deep, that thou mayest feel and understand the spirits of peo­ple: if we believe truth points towards a con­ference on some subjects, in a private way, it is needful for us to take heed that their kindness, their freedom and affability, do not hinder us from the Lord's work. I have seen, that in the midst of kindness and smooth conduct, to speak close and home to them [Page 128] who entertain us, on points that relate to their outward interest, is hard labour; and sometimes, when I have felt truth lead to­ward it, I have found myself disqualified by a superficial friendship; and as the sense thereof hath abased me, and my cries have been to the Lord, so I have been humbled and made content to appear weak, or as a fool for his sake; and thus a door hath open­ed to enter upon it. To attempt to do the Lord's work in our own way, and to speak of that which is the burthen of the word, in a way easy to the natural part, doth not reach the bottom of the disorder: To see the failings of our friends, and think hard of them, without opening that which we ought to open, and still carry a face of friendship, this tends to undermine the foun­dation of true unity.

The office of a minister of Christ is weigh­ty; and they who now go forth as watch­men, had need to be steadily on their guard against the snares of prosperity and an out­side friendship.

After the yearly-meeting, we were at meetings at Newtown, Cushnet, Long-Plain, Rochester and Dartmouth: from thence we sailed for Nantucket, in company with Ann Gaunt and Mercy Redman, and several other friends: the wind being slack, we only reached Tarpawling Cove the first day; where, going on shore, we found room in a publick-house, and beds for a few of us, the rest sleeping on the floor: we went on board again about [Page 129] break of day; and though the wind was small, we were favoured to come within about four miles of Nantucket; and then about ten of us getting into our boat, we rowed to the harbour before dark; whereupon a large boat going off, brought in the rest of the pas­sengers about midnight: the next day but one was their yearly-meeting, which held four days; the last of which, was their month­ly-meeting for business. We had a labori­ous time amongst them; our minds were closely exercised, and I believe it was a time of great searching of heart: the longer I was on the island, the more I became sensible that there was a considerable number of va­luable friends there, though an evil spirit, tending to strife, had been at work amongst them: I was cautious of making any visits, but as my mind was particularly drawn to them; and in that way we had some sittings in friends houses, where the heavenly wing was, at times, spread over us, to our mutu­al comfort.

My beloved companion had very accepta­ble service on this island.

When meeting was over, we all agreed to sail the next day, if the weather was suit­able and we well; and being called up the latter part of the night, we went on board a vessel, being in all about fifty; but the wind changing, the seamen thought best to stay in the harbour till it altered; so we returned on shore: and feeling clear as to any further vi­sits, I spent my time in our chamber chiefly [Page 130] alone; and after some hours, my heart be­ing filled with the spirit of supplication, my prayers and tears were poured out before my heavenly Father, for his help and in­struction in the manifold difficulties which attended me in life: and while I was wait­ing upon the Lord, there came a messenger from the women friends, who lodged at ano­ther house, desiring to confer with us about appointing a meeting, which to me appeared weighty, as we had been at so many before; but after a short conference, and advising with some elderly friends, a meeting was appointed, in which the friend, who first moved it, and who had been much shut up before, was largely opened in the love of the gospel: and the next morning, about break of day, going again on board the vessel, we reached Falmouth on the Main before night; where our horses being brought, we pro­ceeded toward Sandwich quarterly-meeting.

Being two days in going to Nantucket, and having been there once before, I observed many shoals in their bay, which make sail­ing more dangerous, especially in stormy nights; also, that a great shoal, which en­closes their harbour, prevents their going in with sloops, except when the tide is up; waiting without which, for the rising of the tide, is sometimes hazardous in storms: waiting within, they sometimes miss a fair wind. I took notice, that on that small island was a great number of inhabitants, and the soil not very fertile; the timber so [Page 131] gone, that for vessels, fences, and firewood, they depend chiefly on the buying from the Main the cost whereof, with most of their other expences, they depend principally upon the whale fishery to answer. I consi­dered, that as towns grew larger, and lands near navigable waters more cleared, timber and wood would require more labour to get it: I understood that the whales being much hunted, and sometimes wounded and not killed, grew more shy and difficult to come at: I considered that the formation of the earth, the seas, the islands, bays and rivers, the motions of the winds and great waters, which cause bars and shoals in particular places, were all the works of Him who is perfect wisdom and goodness; and as people attend to his heavenly instruction, and put their trust in him, he provides for them in all parts, where he gives them a being. And as in this visit to these people, I felt a strong desire for their firm establishment on the sure foundation; besides what was said more pub­lickly, I was concerned to speak with the women friends, in their monthly-meeting of business, many being present; and in the fresh spring of pure love, to open before them the advantage, both inward and out­ward, of attending singly to the pure guid­ance of the Holy Spirit, and therein to edu­cate their children in true humility, and the disuse of all superfluities, reminding them of the difficulties their husbands and sons were frequently exposed to at sea; and that the more [Page 132] plain and simple their way of living was, the less need of running great hazards to support them in it; encouraging the young women in their neat decent way of attending themselves on the affairs of the house; shew­ing, as the way opened, that where people were truly humble, used themselves to busi­ness, and were content with a plain way of life, that it had ever been attended with more true peace and calmness of mind, than they have had who, aspiring to greatness and out­ward shew, have grasped hard for an income to support themselves in it: and as I ob­served, they had few or no slaves amongst them, I had to encourage them to be content without them; making mention of the nu­merous troubles and vexations, which fre­quently attend the minds of people, who de­pend on slaves to do their labour.

We attended the quarterly-meeting at Sandwich, in company with Ann Gaunt and Mercy Redman, which was preceeded by a monthly-meeting; and in the whole held three days: we were various ways exer­cised amongst them, in gospel love, accord­ing to the several gifts bestowed on us; and were, at times, overshadowed with the virtue of truth, to the comfort of the sincere, and stirring up of the negligent. Here we parted with Ann and Mercy, and went to Rhode-Island, taking one meeting in our way, which was a satisfactory time; and reaching Newport the evening before their quarterly-meeting, we attended it; and after [Page 133] that, had a meeting with our young people, separated from those of other societies. We went thro' much labour in this town; and now, in taking leave of it, though I felt close inward exercise to the last, I found inward peace; and was, in some degree comforted, in a belief, that a good number remain in that place, who retain a sense of truth; and that there are some young people at­tentive to the voice of the heavenly Shep­herd. The last meeting, in which friends from the several parts of the quarter came together, was a select meeting; and through the renewed manifestation of the Father's love, the hearts of the sincere were united to­gether.

That poverty of spirit and inward weak­ness, with which I was much tried the fore part of this journey, has of late appeared to me as a dispensation of kindness. Appoint­ing meetings, never appeared more weighty to me; and I was led into a deep search, whether in all things my mind was resigned to the will of God; often querying with my­self, what should be the cause of such inward poverty; and greatly desired, that no secret reserve in my heart might hinder my access to the divine fountain. In these humbling times I was made watchful, and excited to attend the secret movings of the heavenly principle in my mind which prepared the way to some duties, that in more easy and prosperous times as to the outward, I believe I should have been in danger of omitting.

[Page 134] From Newport we went to Greenwich, Shanticut, and Warwick; and were helped to labour amongst friends in the love of our gracious Redeemer: and then, accompanied by our friend John Casey from Newport, we rode through Connecticut to Oblong, visited the meetings of friends in those parts, and thence proceeded to the quarterly-meeting at Ryewoods; and, thro' the gracious extend­ings of divine help, had some seasoning op­portunities in those places: so we visited friends at New-York and Flushing; and thence to Rahaway: and here our roads parting, I took leave of my beloved companion and true yoke-mate Samuel Eastburn; and reached home on the tenth day of the eighth month, 1760, where I found my family well: and for the favours and protection of the Lord, both inward and outward, extended to me in this journey, my heart is humbled in grateful acknowledgements; and find re­newed desires to dwell and walk in resigned­ness before him.

CHAP. VIII.

HAVING felt my mind drawn toward a visit to a few meetings in Pennsylva­nia, I was very desirous to be rightly in­structed as to the time of setting off: and on the tenth day of the fifth month, 1761, be­ing the first day of the week, I went to Had­donfield meeting, concluding to seek for hea­venly instruction, and come home or go on, as I might then believe best for me; and there, thro' the springing up of pure love, I felt en­couragement, and so crossed the river. In this visit I was at two quarterly and three monthly-meetings; and, in the love of truth, felt my way open to labour with some noted friends, who kept negroes: and as I was favoured to keep to the root, and endeavoured to dis­charge what I believed was required of me, I found inward peace therein, from time to time; and thankfulness of heart to the Lord, who was graciously pleased to be a guide to me.

[Page 136] In the eighth month, 1761, having felt drawings in my mind to visit friends in and about Shrewsbury; I went there, and was at their monthly-meeting, and their first-day meeting; and had a meeting at Squan, and another at Squankum; and, as way opened, had conversation with some noted friends concerning their slaves: and I returned home in a thankful sense of the goodness of the Lord.

From the care I felt growing in me some years, I wrote Considerations on keeping Negroes, part the second; which was print­ed this year, 1762. When the overseers of the press had done with it, they offered to get a number printed to be paid for, out of the yearly-meeting stock, and to be given away; but I being most easy to publish them at my own expence, and offering my reasons they appeared satisfied.

This stock is the contribution of the mem­bers of our religious society in general; amongst whom are some who keep negroes, and being inclined to continue them in sla­very, are not likely to be satisfied with those books being spread amongst a people where many of the slaves are taught to read, and especially not at their expence; and such, of­ten receiving them as a gift, conceal them: But as they who make a purchase, generally buy that which they have a mind for, I be­lieved it best to sell them; expecting, by that means, they would more generally be read with attention. Advertisements being signed [Page 137] by order of the overseers of the press, di­rected to be read in monthly-meetings of bu­siness within our own yearly-meeting, in­forming where the books were, and that the price was no more than the cost of printing and binding them; many were taken off in our parts; some I sent to Virginia some to New-York, and some to Newport, to my ac­quaintance there; and some I kept, expect­ing to give part of them away, where there appeared a prospect of service.

In my youth I was used to hard labour; and though I was middling healthy, yet my nature was not fitted to endure so much as many others: that being often weary, I was prepared to sympathize with those whose cir­cumstances in life, as free men, required con­stant labour to answer the demands of their creditors; and with others under oppression. In the uneasiness of body, which I have ma­ny times felt by too much labour, not as a forced but a voluntary oppression, I have of­ten been excited to think on the original cause of that oppression, which is imposed on many in the world: and the latter part of the time wherein I laboured on our planta­tion, my heart, through the fresh visitations of heavenly love, being often tender; and my leisure time frequently spent in reading the life and doctrines of our blessed Redeem­er, the account of the sufferings of martyrs, and the history of the first rise of our society: a belief was gradually settled in my mind, that if such who had great estates, generally [Page 138] lived in that humility and plainness which belongs to a christian life, and laid much easier rents and interests on their lands and monies, and thus led the way to a right use of things, so great a number of people might be employed in things useful, that labour both for men and other creatures would need to be no more than an agreeable employ; and divers branches of business, which serve chiefly to please the natural inclinations of our minds, and which, at present, seems ne­cessary to circulate that wealth which some gather, might, in this way of pure wisdom, be discontinued. And as I have thus consider­ed these things, a query, at times, hath arisen: Do I, in all my proceedings, keep to that use of things which is agreeable to universal righteousness? And then there hath some de­gree of sadness, at times, come over me; for that I accustomed myself to some things, which occasioned more labour than I believe divine wisdom intends for us.

From my early acquaintance with truth, I have often felt an inward distress, occasion­ed by the striving of a spirit in me, against the operation of the heavenly principle; and in this circumstance have been affected with a sense of my own wretchedness, and in a mourning condition felt earnest longing for that divine help, which brings the soul into true liberty; and sometimes in this state, re­tiring into private places, the spirit of sup­plication hath been given me; and under a heavenly covering, have asked my gracious [Page 139] Father, to give me a heart in all things re­signed to the direction of his wisdom, and in uttering language like this, the thoughts of my wearing hats and garments dyed with a dye hurtful to them, has made lasting im­pressions on me.

In visiting people of note in the society who had slaves, and labouring with them in brotherly love on that account, I have seen, and the sight has affected me, that a con­formity to some customs, distinguishable from pure wisdom, has entangled many; and the desire of gain to support these cus­toms, greatly opposed the work of truth: and sometimes when the prospect of the work before me has been such, that in bowedness of spirit, I have been drawn into retired places, and besought the Lord with tears that he would take me wholly under his di­rection, and shew me the way in which I ought to walk; it hath revived with strength of conviction, that if I would be his faith­ful servant, I must in all things attend to his wisdom, and be teachable; and so cease from all customs contrary thereto, however used amongst religious people.

As he is the perfection of power, of wis­dom, and of goodness; so I believe, he hath provided, that so much labour shall be ne­cessary for men's support, in this world, as would, being rightly divided, be a suitable employment of their time; and that we can­not go into superfluities, or grasp after wealth in a way contrary to his wisdom, without [Page 140] having connection with some degree of op­pression, and with that spirit which leads to self-exaltation and strife, and which fre­quently brings calamities on countries, by parties contending about their claims.

Being thus fully convinced, and feeling an increasing desire to live in the spirit of peace; being often sorrowfully affected with the thinking on the unquiet spirit in which wars are generally carried on, and with the mise­ries of many of my fellow-creatures engaged therein; some suddenly destroyed; some wounded, and after much pain remain crip­ples; some deprived of all their outward sub­stance, and reduced to want; and some car­ried into captivity. Thinking often on these things, the use of hats and garments dyed with a dye hurtful to them, and wearing more cloaths in summer than are useful, grew more uneasy to me; believing them to be customs which have not their foundation in pure wisdom. The apprehension of being singular from my beloved friends, was a strait upon me; and thus I remained in the use of some things contrary to my judgment.

On the thirty-first day of the fifth month, 1761, I was taken ill of a fever; and, after having it near a week, I was in great distress of body: and one day there was a cry rais­ed in me, that I might understand the cause why I was afflicted, and improve under it: and my conformity to some customs, which I believed were not right, were brought to my remembrance; and in the continuation [Page 141] of the exercise, I felt all the powers in me yield themselves up into the hands of Him who gave me being; and was made thank­ful, that he had taken hold of me by his chastisement: feeling the necessity of further purifying, there was now no desire in me for health, until the design of my correction was answered; and thus I lay in abasement and brokenness of spirit, and as I felt a sink­ing down into a calm resignation, so I felt, as in an instant, an inward healing in my nature; and from that time forward I grew better.

Though I was thus settled in mind in re­lation to hurtful dyes, I felt easy to wear my garments heretofore made; and so continued about nine months. Then I thought of get­ting a hat the natural colour of the furr; but the apprehension of being looked upon as one affecting singularity, felt uneasy to me: and here I had occasion to consider, that things, though small in themselves, being clearly enjoined by divine authority, became great things to us; and I trusted that the Lord would support me in the trials that might attend singularity, while that singularity was only for his sake: on this account, I was under close exercise of mind in the time of our General spring meeting 1762, greatly desiring to be rightly directed; when being deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, I was made willing to submit to what I appre­hended was required of me; and when I [Page 142] returned home, got a hat of the natural co­lour of the furr.

In attending meetings, this singularity was a trial upon me, and more especially at this time, white hats being used by some who were fond of following the changeable modes of dress; and as some friends, who knew not on what motives I wore it, carried shy of me, I felt my way for a time shut up in the exercise of the ministry: and in this condition, my mind being turned toward my heavenly Father, with fervent cries that I might be preserved to walk before him in the meekness of wisdom, my heart was often tender in meetings; and I felt an inward consolation, which to me was very precious under those difficulties.

I had several dyed garments fit for use, which I believed it best to wear, till I had occasion of new ones: and some friends were apprehen­sive, that my wearing such a hat favoured of an affected singularity: and such who spake with me in a friendly way, I generally in­formed in a few words, that I believed my wearing it, was not in my own will. I had, at times, been sensible, that a superficial friendship had been dangerous to me; and many friends being now uneasy with me, I had an inclination to acquaint some with the manner of my being led into these things; yet, upon a deeper thought, I was for a time most easy to omit it, believing the present dispensation was profitable; and trusting, that [Page 143] if I kept my place, the Lord in his own time would open the hearts of friends to­ward me: since which, I have had cause to admire his goodness and loving-kindness, in leading about and instructing, and opening and enlarging my heart in some of our meetings.

In the eleventh month of the year 1762, feeling an engagement of mind to visit some families in Mansfield: I joined my beloved friend Benjamin Jones, and we spent a few days together in that service. In the second month 1763, I joined in company with Eli­zabeth Smith and Mary Noble, on a visit to the families of friends at Ancocas; in both which visits, through the baptizing power of truth, the sincere labourers were often comforted, and the hearts of friends opened to receive us. And in the fourth month fol­lowing, I accompanied some friends in a vi­sit to the families of friends in Mount-Holly; in which my mind was often drawn into an inward awfulness, wherein strong desires were raised for the everlasting welfare of my fellow-creatures; and, through the kindness of our heavenly Father, our hearts were, at times, enlarged, and friends invited in the flowings of divine love to attend to that which would settle them on the sure foundation.

Having many years felt love in my heart toward the natives of this land, who dwell far back in the wilderness, whose ancestors were the owners and possessors of the land where [Page 144] we dwell; and who, for a very small consi­deration, assigned their inheritance to us: and being at Philadelphia in the eighth month, 1761, on a visit to some friends who had slaves, I fell in company with some of those natives who lived on the east branch of the river Susquehannah, at an Indian town called Wehaloosing, two hundred miles from Philadelphia; and in conversation with them by an interpreter, as also by observations on their countenances and conduct, I believed some of them were measurably acquainted with that divine power which subjects the rough and froward will of the creature: and, at times, I felt inward drawings to­ward a visit to that place of which I told none except my dear wife, until it came to some ripeness, and then in the winter, 1762, I laid it before friends at our monthly and quarterly, and afterwards at our General spring meeting; and having the unity of friends, and being thoughtful about an Indian pilot, there came a man and three women from a little beyond that town to Philadelphia on business: and I being informed thereof by letter, met them in town in the fifth month, 1763; and after some conversation, finding they were sober people, I, by the concurrence of friends in that place, agreed to join with them as companions in their return; and on the seventh day of the sixth month follow­ing, we appointed to meet at Samuel Foulk's, at Richland in Bucks county. Now as this visit felt weighty, and was performed at a [Page 145] time when travelling appeared perilous, so the dispensations of Divine Providence, in preparing my mind for it, have been memo­rable; and I believe it good for me to give some hints thereof.

After I had given up to go, the thoughts of the journey were often attended with un­usual sadness; in which times, my heart was frequently turned to the Lord with inward breathings for his heavenly support, that I might not fail to follow him wheresoever he might lead me: and being at our youth's meeting at Chesterfield, about a week before the time I expected to set off, was there led to speak on that prayer of our Redeemer to his Father: ‘I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.’ And in attending to the pure openings of truth, had to mention what He elsewhere said to his Father; ‘I know that thou hearest me at all times:’ so that, as some of his followers kept their places, and as his prayer was granted, it followed necessarily that they were kept from evil: and as some of those met with great hardships and afflictions in this world, and at last suffered death by cruel men; it appears, that whatsoever befalls men while they live in pure obedience to God, as it certainly works for their good, so it may not be considered an evil as it relates to them. As I spake on this subject, my heart was much tendered, and great awful­ness came over me; and then, on the first [Page 146] day of the next week, being at our own af­ternoon meeting, and my heart being en­larged in love, I was led to speak on the care and protection of the Lord over his people, and to make mention of that passage where a band of Assyrians endeavouring to take captive the prophet were disappointed; and how the psalmist said, ‘the angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him.’ And thus, in true love and tenderness, I parted from friends, expecting the next morning to proceed on my journey; and being weary, went early to bed: and after I had been asleep a short time, I was awaked by a man calling at my door; and arising, was invited to meet some friends at a publick-house in our town, who came from Philadelphia so late, that friends were gene­rally gone to bed: these friends informed me, that an express arrived the last morning from Pittsburgh, and brought news that the Indians had taken a fort from the English west­ward, and slain and scalped English people in divers places, some near the said Pittsburgh; and that some elderly friends in Philadel­phia, knowing the time of my expecting to set off, had conferred together, and thought good to inform me of these things, before I left home, that I might consider them, and proceed as I believed best; so I, going again to bed, told not my wife till morning. My heart was turned to the Lord for his heaven­ly instruction; and it was an humbling time [Page 147] to me, When I told my dear wife, she ap­peared to be deeply concerned about it; but in a few hours time, my mind became set­tled in a belief, that it was my duty to pro­ceed on my journey; and she bore it with a good degree of resignation. In this conflict of spirit, there were great searchings of heart, and strong cries to the Lord, that no motion might be in the least degree attended to, but that of the pure spirit of truth.

The subjects before-mentioned, on which I had so lately spoke in publick, were now very fresh before me; and I was brought in­wardly to commit myself to the Lord, to be disposed of as he saw best. So I took leave of my family and neighbours, in much bowedness of spirit, and went to our month­ly-meeting at Burlington; and after taking leave of friends there, I crossed the river, ac­companied by my friends Israel and John Pemberton; and parting the next morning with Israel, John bore me company to Sa­muel Foulk's; where I met the before-men­tioned Indians, and we were glad to see each other: here my friend Benjamin Parvin met me, and proposed joining as a companion, we having passed some letters before on the subject; and now on his account I had a sharp trial; for as the journey appeared peri­lous, I thought if he went chiefly to bear me company, and we should be taken cap­tive, my having been the means of draw­ing him into these difficulties, would add to my own afflictions: so I told him my mind [Page 148] freely, and let him know that I was resign­ed to go alone; but after all, if he really be­lieved it to be his duty to go on, I believed his company would be very comfortable to me: it was indeed a time of deep exercise, and Benjamin appeared to be so fastened to the visit, that he could not be easy to leave me; so we went on, accompanied by our friends John Pemberton, and William Light­foot of Pikeland, and lodged at Bethlehem; and there parting with John, William and we went forward on the ninth day of the sixth month, and got lodging on the floor of a house, about five miles from Fort-Allen; here we parted with William: and at this place we met with an Indian trader, lately come from Wioming; and in conversation with him, I perceived that many white people do often sell rum to the Indians, which, I believe, is a great evil; first, they being thereby deprived of the use of their reason, and their spirits vi­olently agitated, quarrels often arise which end in mischief; and the bitterness and resent­ments occasioned hereby, are frequently of long continuance: again, their skins and furrs, gotten thro' much fatigue and hard tra­vels in hunting, with which they intended to buy cloathing, when they become in­toxicated, they often sell at a low rate for more rum; and afterward, when they suffer for want of the necessaries of life, are an­gry with those who, for the sake of gain, took the advantage of their weakness: of this their chiefs have often complained, at [Page 149] their treaties with the English. Where cun­ning people pass counterfeits, and impose that on others which is good for nothing, it is considered as a wickedness; but to sell that to people which we know does them harm, and which often works their ruin, for the sake of gain, manifests a hardened and corrupt heart; and is an evil, which de­mands the care of all true lovers of virtue to suppress: and while my mind, this even­ing, was thus employed, I also remember­ed, that the people on the frontiers, among whom this evil is too common, are often poor; who venture to the outside of a colo­ny, that they may live more independant on such who are wealthy, who often set high rents on their land: being renewedly con­firmed in a belief, that if all our inhabi­tants lived according to sound wisdom, la­bouring to promote universal love and righ­teousness, and ceased from every inordinate desire after wealth, and from all customs which are tinctured with luxury, the way would be easy for our inhabitants, though much more numerous than at present, to live comfortably on honest employments, with­out having that temptation they are often under of being drawn into schemes to make settlements on lands which have not been purchased of the Indians, or of applying to that wicked practice of selling rum to them.

On the tenth day of the month we set out early in the morning, and crossed the west­ern branch of Delaware, called the Great [Page 150] Lehie, near Fort-Allen; the water being high, we went over in a canoe: here we met an Indian, and had some friendly con­versation with him, and gave him some bis­cuit; and he having killed a deer, gave the Indians with us some of it: then after tra­velling some miles, we met several Indian men and women with a cow and horse, and some houshold goods, who were lately come from their dwelling at Wioming, and going to settle at another place; we made them some small presents; and some of them un­derstanding English, I told them my motive in coming into their country; with which they appeared satisfied: and one of our guides talking a while with an antient wo­man concerning us, the poor old woman came to my companion and me, and took her leave of us with an appearance of sin­cere affection. So going on, we pitched our tent near the banks of the same river, hav­ing laboured hard in crossing some of those mountains called the Blue Ridge; and by the roughness of the stones, and the cavi­ties between them, and the steepness of the hills, it appeared dangerous: but we were preserved in safety, through the kindness of Him whose works in those mountainous de­serts appeared awful; toward whom my heart was turned during this day's travel.

Near our tent, on the sides of large trees peeled for that purpose, were various repre­sentations of men going to, and returning from the wars, and of some killed in battle. [Page 151] This being a path heretofore used by warriors; and as I walked about viewing those Indian histories, which were painted mostly in red but some in black, and think­ing on the innumerable afflictions which the proud, fierce spirit produceth in the world; thinking on the toils and fatigues of warriors, travelling over mountains and de­serts; thinking on their miseries and dis­tresses when wounded far from home by their enemies; and of their bruises and great weariness in chasing one another over the rocks and mountains; and of their restless, unquiet state of mind, who live in this spi­rit; and of the hatred which mutually grows up in the minds of the children of those na­tions engaged in war with each other: dur­ing these meditations, the desire to cherish the spirit of love and peace amongst these people, arose very fresh in me. This was the first night that we lodged in the woods; and being wet with travelling in the rain, the ground, our tent, and the bushes which we purposed to lay under our blankets also wet, all looked discouraging; but I believed, that it was the Lord who had thus far brought me forward, and that he would dispose of me as he saw good, and therein I felt easy: so we kindled a fire, with our tent open to it; and with some bushes next the ground, and then our blankets, we made our bed; and lying down, got some sleep: and in the morning, feeling a little unwell, [Page 152] I went into the river; the water was cold, but soon after I felt fresh and well.

The eleventh day of the sixth month, the bushes being wet, we tarried in our tent till about eight o'clock; when going on, crossed a high mountain supposed to be upward of four miles over; the steepness on the north side exceeding all the others: we also crossed two swamps; and it raining near night, we pitched our tent and lodged.

About noon, on our way, we were over­taken by one of the moravian brethren, go­ing to Wehaloosing, and an Indian man with him who could talk English; and we being together while our horses eat grass, had some friendly conversation; but they tra­velling faster than we, soon left us. This moravian, I understood, had spent some time this spring at Wehaloosing; and was, by some of the Indians, invited to come again.

The twelfth day of the sixth month, and first of the week, it being a rainy day, we continued in our tent; and here I was led to think on the nature of the exercise which hath attended me: Love was the first motion, and thence a concern arose to spend some time with the Indians, that I might feel and un­derstand their life, and the spirit they live in, if haply I might receive some instruction from them, or they be in any degree helped forward by my following the leadings of truth amongst them: and as it pleased the Lord to make way for my going at a time [Page 153] when the troubles of war were increasing, and when, by reason of much wet weather, travelling was more difficult than usual at that season, I looked upon it as a more fa­vourable opportunity to season my mind, and bring me into a nearer sympathy with them: and as mine eye was to the great Fa­ther of mercies, humbly desiring to learn what his will was concerning me, I was made quiet and content.

Our guide's horse, though hoppled, went away in the night; and after finding our own, and searching some time for him, his footsteps were discovered in the path going back again, whereupon my kind companion went off in the rain, and after about seven hours returned with him: and here we lodged again; tying up our horses before we went to bed, and loosing them to feed about break of day.

On the thirteenth day of the sixth month, the sun appearing, we set forward; and as I rode over the barren hills, my meditations were on the alterations of the circumstances of the natives of this land since the coming in of the English. The lands near the sea, are conveniently situated for fishing; the lands near the rivers, where the tides flow, and some above, are in many places fertile, and not mountainous; while the running of the tides, makes passing up and down easy with any kind of traffick. Those natives have, in some places, for trifling considera­tions, sold their inheritance so favourably [Page 154] situated; and in other places, been driven back by superior force: so that, in many places, as their way of cloathing themselves is now altered from what it was, and they, far remote from us, have to pass over moun­tains, swamps, and barren desarts, where travelling is very troublesome, in bringing their skins and furrs to trade with us.

By the extending of English settlements, and partly by English hunters, the wild beasts they chiefly depend on for a subsist­ance, are not so plenty as they were; and people too often, for the sake of gain, open a door for them to waste their skins and furrs, in purchasing a liquor which tends to the ruin of them and their families.

My own will and desires being now very much broken, and my heart, with much earnestness, turned to the Lord, to whom alone I looked for [...] in the dangers before me. I had a prospect of the English along the coast, for upwards of nine hundred miles, where I have travelled; and the fa­vourable situation of the English, and the difficulties attending the natives in many places, and the negroes, were open before me; and a weighty and heavenly care came over my mind, and love filled my heart to­ward all mankind, in which I felt a strong engagement, that we might be obedient to the Lord while, in tender mercies, he is yet calling to us; and so attend to pure univer­sal righteousness, as to give no just cause of offence to the Gentiles, who do not profess [Page 155] christianity, whether the blacks from Africa or the native inhabitants of this continent: and here I was led into a close, laborious enquiry, whether I, as an individual, kept clear from all things which tended to stir up, or were connected with wars, either in this land or Africa; and my heart was deeply concerned, that in future I might in all things keep steadily to the pure truth, and live and walk in the plainness and simplicity of a sincere follower of Christ. And in this lonely journey, I did, this day, greatly be­wail the spreading of a wrong spirit, be­lieving, that the prosperous, convenient si­tuation of the English, requires a constant attention to divine love and wisdom to guide and support us in a way answerable to the will of that good, gracious, and almighty Being, who hath an equal regard to all man­kind: and here, luxury and covetousness, with the numerous oppressions, and other evils attending them, appeared very afflict­ing to me; and I felt in that which is im­mutable, that the seeds of great calamity and desolation are sown and growing fast on this continent: nor have I words sufficient to set forth that longing I then felt, that we, who are placed along the coast, and have tasted the love and goodness of God, might arise in his strength; and, like faithful messen­gers, labour to check the growth of these seeds, that they may not ripen to the ruin of our posterity.

[Page 156] We reached the Indian settlement at Wio­ming: and here we were told, that an In­dian runner had been at that place a day or two before us, and brought news of the In­dians taking an English fort westward, and destroying the people, and that they were endeavouring to take another; and also, that another Indian runner came there about the middle of the night before we got there, who came from a town about ten miles above Wehaloosing, and brought news, that some Indian warriors, from distant parts, came to that town with two English scalps; and told the people, that it was war with the English.

Our guides took us to the house of a very antient man; and soon after we had put in our baggage, there came a man from ano­ther Indian house some distance off; and I perceiving there was a man near the door, went out; and he having a tomahawk wrapped under his matchcoat out of sight, as I approached him, he took it in his hand; I, however, went forward, and speaking to him in a friendly way perceived he under­stood some English: my companion then coming out, we had some talk with him concerning the nature of our visit in these parts; and then he going into the house with us, and talking with our guides, soon appeared friendly, and sat down and smoak­ed his pipe. Tho' his taking his hatchet in his hand at the instant I drew near to him, [Page 157] had a disagreeable appearance, I believe he had no other intent than to be in readiness in case any violence was offered to him.

Hearing the news brought by these In­dian runners, and being told by the Indians where we lodged, that what Indians were about Wioming expected, in a few days, to move to some larger towns, I thought that, to all outward appearance, it was dangerous travelling at this time; and was, after a hard day's journey, brought into a painful exercise at night, in which I had to trace back, and view over the steps I had taken from my first moving in the visit; and tho' I had to bewail some weakness which, at times, had attended me, yet I could not find that I had ever given way to a will­ful disobedience: and then as I believed I had, under a sense of duty, come thus far, I was now earnest in spirit beseeching the Lord to shew me what I ought to do. In this great distress I grew jealous of myself, lest the desire of reputation, as a man firmly settled to persevere through dan­gers, or the fear of disgrace arising on my returning without performing the vi­sit, might have some place in me: thus I lay, full of thoughts, great part of the night, while my beloved companion lay and slept by me; till the Lord, my gracious Father, who saw the conflicts of my soul, was pleased to give quietness: then I was again strengthened to commit my life, and all things relating thereto, into his heavenly [Page 158] hands; and getting a little sleep toward day, when morning came we arose.

On the fourteenth day of the sixth month, we sought out and visited all the Indians hereabouts that we could meet with; they being chiefly in one place, about a mile from where we lodged, in all perhaps twenty. Here I expressed the care I had on my mind for their good; and told them, that true love had made me willing thus to leave my family to come and see the Indians, and speak with them in their houses. Some of them appeared kind and friendly. So we took our leave of these Indians: and went up the river Susquehannah, about three miles, to the house of an Indian, called Ja­cob January, who had killed his hog; and the women were making store of bread, and preparing to move up the river. Here our pilots left their canoe when they came down in the spring, which, lying dry, was leaky; so that we, being detained some hours, had a good deal of friendly conversation with the family; and eating dinner with them, we made them some small presents. Then putting our baggage in the canoe, some of them pushed slowly up the stream, and the rest of us rode our horses; and swimming them over a creek, called Lahawahamunk, we pitched our tent a little above it, being a shower in the evening: and in a sense of God's goodness in helping me in my distress, sustaining me under trials, and inclining my heart to trust in him, I lay down in an [Page 159] humble bowed frame of mind, and had a comfortable night's lodging.

On the fifteenth day of the sixth month, we proceeded forward till the afternoon; when a storm appearing, we met our canoe at an appointed place; and the rain conti­nuing, we stayed all night, which was so heavy, that it beat through our tent, and wet us and our baggage.

On the sixteenth day, we found, on our way, abundance of trees blown down with the storm yesterday; and had occasion reve­rently to consider the kind dealings of the Lord, who provided a safe place for us in a valley, while this storm continued. By the falling of abundance of trees across our path, we were much hindered, and in some swamps our way was so stopped, that we got through with extream difficulty.

I had this day often to consider myself as a sojourner in this world; and a belief in the all-sufficiency of God to support his peo­ple in their pilgrimage felt comfortable to me; and I was industriously employed to get to a state of perfect resignation.

We seldom saw our canoe but at appoint­ed places, by reason of the path going off from the river: and this afternoon, Job Chi­laway, an Indian from Wehaloosing, who talks good English, and is acquainted with several people in and about Philadelphia, met our people on the river; and understanding where we expected to lodge, pushed back about six miles, and came to us after night; [Page 160] and in a while our own canoe came, it be­ing hard work pushing up stream. Job told us, that an Indian came in haste to their town yesterday, and told them, that three warriors, coming from some distance, lodg­ed in a town above Wehaloosing a few nights past; and that these three men were going against the English at Juniata. Job was going down the river to the province-store at Shamokin. Though I was so far favour­ed with health as to continue travelling, yet through the various difficulties in our jour­ney, and the different way of living from what I had been used to, I grew sick: and the news of these warriors being on their march so near us, and not knowing whe­ther we might not fall in with them, was a fresh trial of my faith; and tho', thro' the strength of divine love, I had several times been enabled to commit myself to the divine disposal, I still found the want of my strength to be renewed, that I might persevere there­in; and my cries for help were put up to the Lord, who, in great mercy, gave me a resigned heart, in which I found quietness.

On the seventeenth day, parting from Job Chilaway, we went on, and reached Weha­loosing about the middle of the afternoon; and the first Indian that we saw, was a wo­man of a modest countenance, with a Bible, who first spake to our guide; and then, with a harmonious voice, expressed her gladness at seeing us, having before heard of our coming: then, by the direction of our guide, [Page 161] we sat down on a log; and he went to the town, to tell the people we were come. My companion and I sitting thus together, in a deep inward stillness, the poor woman came and sat near us; and great awfulness com­ing over us, we rejoiced in a sense of God's love manifested to our poor souls. After a while, we heard a conkshell blow several times, and then came John Curtis, and another Indian man, who kindly invited us into a house near the town, where we found, I suppose, about sixty people sitting in si­lence; and after sitting a short time, I stood up, and in some tenderness of spirit ac­quainted them with the nature of my visit, and that a concern for their good had made me willing to come thus far to see them: all in a few short sentences, which some of them understanding, interpreted to the others, and there appeared gladness amongst them. Then I shewed them my certificate, which was explained to them; and the mo­ravian, who overtook us on the way, being now here, bade me welcome.

On the eighteenth day, we rested ourselves this forenoon; and the Indians knowing that the moravian and I were of different reli­gious societies, and as some of their people had encouraged him to come and stay a while with them, were, I believe, concerned, that no jarring or discord might be in their meetings: and they, I suppose, having con­ferred together, acquainted me, that the people, at my request, would, at any time, [Page 162] come together, and hold meetings; and al­so told me, that they expected the moravian would speak in their settled meetings, which are commonly held morning and near even­ing. So I found liberty in my heart to speak to the moravian, and told him of the care I felt on my mind for the good of these peo­ple; and that I believed no ill effects would follow it, if I sometimes spake in their meet­ings when love engaged me thereto, with­out calling them together at times when they did not meet of course: whereupon he ex­pressed his good-will toward my speaking at any time, all that I found in my heart to say: so near evening I was at their meet­ing, where the pure gospel love was felt, to the tendering some of our hearts; and the interpreters endeavouring to acquaint the people with what I said, in short sentences, found some difficulty, as none of them were quite perfect in the English and Delaware tongues, so they helped one another, and we laboured along, divine love attending: and afterwards feeling my mind covered with the spirit of prayer, I told the interpreters that I found it in my heart to pray to God, and believed, if I prayed aright, he would hear me, and expressed my willingness for them to omit interpreting; so our meeting ended with a degree of divine love: and before the people went out, I observed Pa­punehang (the man who had been zealous in labouring for a reformation in that town, being then very tender) spoke to one of the [Page 163] interpreters: and I was afterwards told that he said in substance as follows; "I love to feel where words come from."

On the nineteenth day, and first of the week, this morning in the meeting the In­dian who came with the moravian, being al­so a member of that society, prayed; and then the moravian spake a short time to the people: and in the afternoon, they coming together, and my heart being filled with a heavenly care for their good, I spake to them awhile by interpreters; but none of them being perfect in the work, and I feeling the current of love run strong, told the inter­preters, that I believed some of the people would understand me, and so I proceeded: in which exercise, I believe the Holy Ghost wrought on some hearts to edification, where all the words were not understood. I look­ed upon it as a time of divine favour, and my heart was tendered and truly thankful before the Lord; and after I sat down, one of the interpreters seemed spirited to give the Indians the substance of what I had said.

Before our first meeting this morning, I was led to meditate on the manifold diffi­culties of these Indians, who, by the per­mission of the Six Nations, dwell in these parts; and a near sympathy with them was raised in me; and my heart being enlarged in the love of Christ, I thought that the af­fectionate care of a good man for his only brother in affliction, does not exceed what I then felt for that people.

[Page 164] I came to this place through much trou­ble; and though, through the mercies of God, I believed, that if I died in the jour­ney, it would be well with me; yet the thoughts of falling into the hands of Indian warriors, were, in times of weakness, afflict­ing to me; and being of a tender constitu­tion of body, the thoughts of captivity amongst them were, at times, grievous; as supposing, that they being strong and hardy, might demand service of me beyond what I could well bear; but the Lord alone was my keeper; and I believed, if I went into capti­vity, it would be for some good end; and thus, from time to time, my mind was cen­tered in resignation, in which I always found quietness. And now, this day, though I had the same dangerous wilderness between me and home, I was inwardly joyful that the Lord had strengthened me to come on this visit, and manifested a fatherly care over me in my poor lowly condition, when in mine own eyes I appeared inferior to many a­mongst the Indians.

When the last mentioned meeting was ended, it being night Papunehang went to bed; and one of the interpreters sitting by me, I observed Papunehang spoke with an harmonious voice, I suppose, a minute or two: and asking the interpreter, was told, that "he was expressing his thankfulness to God for the favours he had received that day; and prayed that he would continue to favour him with that same, which he had [Page 165] experienced in that meeting." That though Papunehang had before agreed to receive the moravian, and join with them, he still ap­peared kind and loving to us.

On the twentieth day, I was at two meet­ings, and silent in them.

The twenty-first day. This morning in meeting my heart was enlarged in pure love amongst them, and in short plain sentences expressed several things that rested upon me, which one of the interpreters gave the peo­ple pretty readily; after which the meeting ended in supplication, and I had cause hum­bly to acknowledge the loving-kindness of the Lord toward us; and then I believed that a door remained open for the faithful disciples of Jesus Christ, to labour amongst these people.

I now feeling my mind at liberty to re­turn, took my leave of them in general, at the conclusion of what I said in meeting; and so we prepared to go homeward: but some of their most active men told us, that when we were ready to move, the people would choose to come and shake hands with us; which those who usually came to meet­ing did: and from a secret draught in my mind, I went amongst some who did not use to go to meeting, and took my leave of them also: and the moravian and his Indian interpreter, appeared respectful to us at part­ing. This town stands on the bank of Sus­quehannah, and consists, I believe, of about forty houses, mostly compact together; some [Page 166] about thirty feet long, and eighteen wide, some bigger, some less; mostly built of split plank, one end set in the ground, and the other pinned to a plate, on which lay raf­ters, and covered with bark. I understand a great flood last winter overflowed the chief part of the ground where the town stands; and some were now about moving their houses to higher ground.

We expected only two Indians to be our company; but when we were ready to go, we found many of them were going to Beth­lehem with skins and furrs, who chose to go in company with us: so they loaded two canoes, which they desired us to go in, tell­ing us, that the waters were so raised with the rains, that the horses should be taken by such who were better acquainted with the fording places: so we, with several Indians, went in the canoes, and others went on horses, there being seven besides ours. And we meeting with the horsemen once on the way by appointment, and then near night, a little below a branch called Tankhannah, we lodged there; and some of the young men going out a little before dusk with their guns, brought in a deer.

On the twenty-second day, through dili­gence, we reached Wioming before night, and understood the Indians were mostly gone from this place: here we went up a small creek into the woods with our canoes, and, pitching our tent, carried out our baggage; and before dark our horses came to us.

[Page 167] On the twenty-third day in the morning their horses were loaded, and we prepared our baggage and so set forward, being in all fourteen; and with diligent travelling were favoured to get near half way to Fort-Allen. The land on this road from Wioming to our frontier being mostly poor, and good grass scarce, they chose a piece of low ground to lodge on, as the best for grasing; and I having sweat much in travelling, and be­ing weary slept sound; I perceived in the night that I had taken cold, of which I was favoured to get better soon.

On the twenty-fourth day we passed Fort-Allen, and lodged near it in the woods.

Having forded the westerly branch of De­laware three times, and thereby had a shorter way, and missed going over the top of the blue mountains, called the Second Ridge. In the second time fording, where the river cuts thro' the mountain, the waters being rapid and pretty deep, and my companion's mare being a tall tractable animal, he sundry times drove her back thro' the river, and they loaded her with the burthens of some small horses, which they thought not suffici­ent to come thro' with their loads.

The troubles westward, and the difficulty for Indians to pass thro' our frontier, I ap­prehend was one reason why so many came; as expecting that our being in company, would prevent the outside inhabitants from being surprized.

[Page 168] On the twenty-fifth day we reached Beth­lehem, taking care on the way to keep fore­most, and to acquaint people on and near the road who these Indians were: this we found very needful; for the frontier inha­bitants were often alarmed at the report of English being killed by Indians westward.

Amongst our company were some who I did not remember to have seen at meeting, and some of these at first were very reserved; but we being several days together, and be­having friendly toward them, and making them suitable returns for the services they did us, they became more free and sociable.

On the twenty-sixth day and first of the week, having carefully endeavoured to settle all affairs with the Indians relative to our journey; we took leave of them, and I thought they generally parted with us af­fectionately; so we getting to Richland, had a very comfortable meeting amongst our friends: here I parted with my kind friend and companion Benjamin Parvin; and ac­companied by my friend Samuel Foulk, we rode to John Cadwallader's, from whence I reached home the next day, where I found my family middling well; and they and my friends all along appeared glad to see me re­turn from a journey which they apprehend­ed dangerous: but my mind, while I was out, had been so employed in striving for a perfect resignation, and I had so often been confirmed in a belief, that whatever the Lord might be pleased to allot for me, would [Page 169] work for good: I was careful least I should admit any degree of selfishness in being glad overmuch, and laboured to improve by those trials in such a manner as my gracious Fa­ther and protector intends for me. Between the English inhabitants and Wehaloosing, we had only a narrow path, which in many places is much grown up with bushes, and interrupted by abundance of trees lying across it, these, together with the moun­tains, swamps, and rough stones, make it a difficult road to travel; and the more so, for that rattlesnakes abound there, of which we killed four: that people who have never been in such places, have but an imperfect idea of them; but I was not only taught pa­tience, but also made thankful to God, who thus led me about and instructed me, that I might have a quick and lively feeling of the afflictions of my fellow-creatures, whose situation in life is difficult.

CHAP. IX.

THE latter part of the summer, 1763, there came a man to Mount-Holly, who had before published, by a printed advertisement, that at a certain publick-house, he would shew many wonderful ope­rations, which he therein enumerated.

This man, at the time appointed, did, by slight of hand, sundry things; which, to those gathered, appeared strange.

The next day, I hearing of it, and un­derstanding that the shew was to be conti­nued the next night, and the people to meet about sun-set, felt an exercise o [...] that ac­count: so I went to the publick-house in the evening, and told the man of the house that I had an inclination to spend a part of the evening there; with which he signi­fied that he was content. Then sitting down by the door, I spake to the people as they came together, concerning this shew; and more coming and sitting down with us, the seats at the door were mostly filled; and I had conversation with them in the fear of the Lord, and laboured to convince them that thus assembling to see those tricks or slights of hands, and bestowing their mo­ney to support men who in that capacity were of no use in the world, was contrary to the nature of the christian religion.

There was one of the company who, for a time, endeavoured by arguments to shew [Page 172] the reasonableness of their proceedings here­in; but after considering some texts of scrip­ture, and calmly debating the matter, he gave up the point. So having spent about an hour amongst them, and feeling my mind easy, I departed.

At our yearly-meeting at Philadelphia, on the twenty-fifth day of the ninth month, 1764, John Smith of Marlborough, aged upwards of eighty years, a faithful minister, tho' not eloquent, stood up in our meeting of ministers and elders, and appearing to be under a great exercise of spirit, informed friends in substance as follows: to wit, "That he had been a member of the society upward of sixty years, and well remembered that in those early times friends were a plain lowly-minded people; and that there was much tenderness and contrition in their meetings.—That at twenty years from that time, the society increasing in wealth, and in some degree conforming to the fashions of the world, true humility was less apparent, and their meetings in general not so lively and edifying—That at the end of forty years, many of them were grown very rich; that wearing of fine costly garments, and using of silver (and other) watches, became customary with them, their sons, and their daughters, and many of the society made a spacious appear­ance in the world; which marks of outward wealth and greatness, appeared on some in our meetings of ministers and elders; and as these things became more prevalent, so [Page 173] the powerful overshadowings of the Holy Ghost were less manifest in the Society—That there had been a continued increase of these ways of life even until now; and that the weakness which hath now overspread the society, and the barrenness manifest amongst us, is matter of much sorrow." He then mentioned the uncertainty of his attending these meetings in future, expect­ing his dissolution was now near; and hav­ing tenderly expressed his concern for us, signified that he had seen in the true light that the Lord would bring back his people from these things into which they were thus degenerated, but that his faithful servants must first go thro' great and heavy exer­cises therein.

On the twenty-ninth day, the committee appointed by the yearly-meeting to visit the quarterly and monthly meetings, now gave an account in writing of their proceed­ings in that service; in which they signi­fied, that in the course of it, they had been apprehensive that some persons holding of­fices in government, inconsistent with our principles; and others who kept slaves, re­maining active members in our meetings of discipline, had been one means of weakness more and more prevailing in the manage­ment thereof in some places. After this re­port was read, an exercise revived on my mind, which, at times, had attended me se­veral years, and inward cries to the Lord were raised in me, that the fear of man [Page 174] might not prevent me from doing what he required of me; and standing up, I spake in substance as follows: "I have felt a ten­derness in my mind toward persons, in two circumstances mentioned in that report; that is, toward such active members who keep slaves, and such who hold offices in ci­vil government; and have desired, that friends in all their conduct may be kindly affectioned one toward another. Many friends, who keep slaves, are under some exercise on that account; and, at times, think about trying them with freedom; but find many things in their way: and the way of living, and annual expences of some of them are such, that it seems impractica­ble for them to set their slaves free, without changing their own way of life. It has been my lot to be often abroad; and I have ob­served in some places, at quarterly and year­ly meetings, and at some houses where tra­velling friends and their horses are often entertained, that the yearly expence of in­dividuals therein is very considerable: and friends in some places crouding much on persons in these circumstances for entertain­ment, hath often rested as a burthen on my mind for some years past; and I now ex­press it in the fear of the Lord, greatly de­siring that friends now present may duly consider it."

In the fall of this year, having hired a man to work, I perceived in conversation that he had been a soldier in the late war on [Page 175] this continent; and in the evening, giving a narrative of his captivity amongst the In­dians, he informed me that he saw two of his fellow captives tortured to death in a very cruel manner.

This relation affected me with sadness, under which I went to bed; and the next morning, soon after I awoke, a fresh and living sense of divine love was spread over my mind; in which I had a renewed pro­spect of the nature of that wisdom from above, which leads to a right use of all gifts, both spiritual and temporal, and gives con­tent therein: under a feeling thereof, I wrote as follows:

"Hath He, who gave me a being attend­ed with many wants unknown to brute-creatures, given me a capacity superior to theirs? and shewn me, that a moderate ap­plication to business is proper to my present condition; and that this, attended with his blessing, may supply all outward wants, while they remain within the bounds he hath fixed; and no imaginary wants pro­ceeding from an evil spirit, have any place in me? Attend then, O my soul! to this pure wisdom, as thy sure conductor thro' the manifold dangers in this world!"

"Doth pride lead to vanity? Doth vani­ty form imaginary wants? Do these wants prompt men to exert their power in requir­ing that of others, which themselves would rather be excused from, were the same re­quired of them?"

[Page 176] "Do those proceedings beget hard thoughts? Do hard thoughts, when ripe, become malice? Does malice, when ripe, become revengeful; and in the end inflict terrible pains on their fellow-creatures, and spread desolations in the world?"

"Doth mankind, walking in uprightness, delight in each other's happiness? And do these creatures, capable of this attainment by giving way to an evil spirit, employ their wit and strength to afflict and destroy one another?"

"Remember then, O my soul! the quietude of those in whom Christ governs, and in all thy proceedings feel after it!"

"Doth he condescend to bless thee with his presence? To move and influence to action? To dwell in thee, and walk in thee? Remember then thy station, as a being sa­cred to God; accept of the strength freely offered thee; and take heed that no weak­ness, in conforming to expensive, unwise, and hard-hearted customs, gendering to dis­cord and strife, be given way to. Doth he claim my body as his temple? And graci­ously grant that I may be sacred to him. Oh! that I may prize this favour; and that my whole life may be conformable to this character!"

"Remember, O my soul! that the prince of peace is thy Lord: that he communicates his unmixed wisdom to his family; that they living in perfect simplicity, may give [Page 177] no just cause of offence to any creature, but may walk as he walked!"

Having felt an openness in my heart to­ward visiting families in our own meeting, and especially in the town of Mount-Holly, the place of my abode, I mentioned it in our monthly-meeting the fore-part of the winter 1764; which being agreed to, and several friends of our meeting being united in the exercise, we proceeded therein; and through divine favour were helped in the work, so that it appeared to me as a fresh reviving of godly care amongst friends: and the latter part of the same winter, I joined my friend William Jones, in a visit to friends families in Mansfield; in which labour, I had cause to admire the goodness of the Lord toward us.

Having felt my mind drawn toward a visit to friends along the sea-coast from Cape May to near Squan; and also to visit some people in those parts, amongst whom there is no settled worship; I joined, with my be­loved friend Benjamin Jones, in a visit there, having friends unity therein: and setting off the twenty-fourth day of the tenth month, 1765, we had a prosperous and very satis­factory journey; feeling, at times, thro' the goodness of the heavenly Shepherd, the gos­pel to flow freely toward a poor people scat­tered in those places: and soon after our re­turn, I joined my friends John Sleeper and Elizabeth Smith, in visiting friends families [Page 178] at Burlington, there being at this time about fifty families of our society in that city; and we had cause humbly to adore our heavenly Father, who baptized us in­to a feeling of the state of the people, and strengthened us to labour in true gospel love amongst them.

An exercise having, at times, for several years, attended me, in regard to paying a religious visit to friends on the Eastern Shore of Maryland: such was the nature of this exercise, that I believed the Lord moved me to travel on foot amongst them, that by so travelling I might have a more lively feeling of the condition of the oppressed slaves, set an example of lowliness before the eyes of their masters, and be more out of the way of temptation to unprofitable converse.

The time now drawing near in which I believed it my duty to lay my concern be­fore our monthly meeting, I perceived in conversation with my beloved friend John Sleeper, that he was under a concern to tra­vel the same way, and also to travel on foot in the form of a servant amongst them, as he exprest it. This he told me before he knew aught of my exercise.

We being thus drawn the same way, laid our exercise and the nature of it before friends; and obtaining certificates, we set off the sixth day of the fifth month, 1766; and were at meetings with friends at Wil­mington, Duck-Creek, Little-Creek and Mo­therkill; [Page 179] my heart being sundry times ten­dered under the divine influence, and en­larged in love toward the people amongst whom we travelled.

From Motherkill, we crossed the country about thirty-five miles to friends at Tucka­hoe in Maryland, and had a meeting there and at Marshy-Creek.

At these, our three last meetings, were a considerable number of people, followers of one Joseph Nichols, a preacher; who, I un­derstand, is not in outward fellowship with any religious society of people, but profess­eth nearly the same principles as our society doth, and often travels up and down ap­pointing meetings, to which many people come. I heard some friends speaking of some of their neighbours, who had been irreligi­ous people, that were now his followers, and were become sober well-behaved men and women.

Some irregularities, I hear, have been amongst the people at several of his meet­ings; but from the whole of what I have perceived, I believe the man and some of his followers, are honestly disposed, but that skilful fathers are wanting among them: from hence we went to Choptank and Third Haven; and thence to Queen Ann's. The weather having some days past been hot and dry, and we to attend meetings pursuant to appointment, having travelled pretty steadily, and had hard labour in meetings, I grew [Page 180] weakly; at which I was for a time discou­raged; but looking over our journey, and thinking how the Lord had supported our minds and bodies, so that we got forward much faster than I expected before we came out, I now saw that I had been in danger of too strongly desiring to get soon through the journey, and that this bodily weakness now attending me was a kindness to me; and then, in contrition of spirit, I became very thankful to my gracious Father, for this ma­nifestation of his love; and in humble sub­mission to his will, my trust was renewed in him.

On this part of our journey, I had many thoughts on the different circumstances of friends who inhabit Pennsylvania and Jer­sey, from those who dwell in Maryland, Vir­ginia, and Carolina. Pennsylvania and New-Jersey were settled by many friends, who were convinced of our principles in England in times of sufferings, and coming over bought lands of the natives, and applied themselves to husbandry in a peaceable way; and many of their children were taught to labour for their living.

Few friends, I believe, came from Eng­land to settle in any of these southern pro­vinces; but by the faithful labours of tra­velling friends in early times, there was con­siderable convincements amongst the inhabi­tants of these parts. Here I remembered my reading of the warlike disposition of many [Page 181] of the first settlers in those provinces, and of their numerous engagements with the na­tives, in which much blood was shed, even in the infancy of those colonies. These peo­ple, inhabiting those places, being grounded in customs contrary to the pure truth, when some of them were affected with the power­ful preaching of the Word of Life, and joined in fellowship with our society, they had a great work to go through. It is ob­servable in the History of the Reformation from Popery, that it had a gradual progress from age to age: the uprightness of the first reformers, in attending to the light and understanding given them, opened the way for sincere-hearted people to proceed further afterward; and thus each one truly fearing God, and labouring in those works of righte­ousness appointed for them in their day, findeth acceptance with him: though, thro' the darkness of the times, and the corrup­tion of manners and customs, some upright men may have had little more for their day's work than to attend to the righteous princi­ple in their minds, as it related to their own conduct in life, without pointing out to others the whole extent of that, which the same principle would lead succeeding ages into. Thus for instance; amongst an impe­rious warlike people, supported by oppressed slaves, some of these masters, I suppose, are awakened to feel and see their error; and, thro' sincere repentance, cease from oppres­sion, [Page 182] and become like fathers to their ser­vants; shewing, by their example, a pat­tern of humility in living, and moderation in governing, for the instruction and admo­nition of their oppressing neighbours; those without carrying the reformation further, I believe have found acceptance with the Lord. Such was the beginning; and those who succeeded them, and have faithfully at­tended to the nature and spirit of the re­formation, have seen the necessity of pro­ceeding forward; and not only to instruct others, by their example, in governing well, but also to use means to prevent their suc­cessors from having so much power to op­press others.

Here I was renewedly confirmed in my mind, that the Lord (whose tender mercies are over all his works, and whose ear is open to the cries and groans of the oppressed) is graciously moving on the hearts of people, to draw them off from the desire of wealth, and bring them into such an humble, lowly way of living, that they may see their way clearly, to repair to the standard of true righteousness; and not only break the yoke of oppression, but know him to be their strength and support in a time of outward affliction.

We passing on crossed Chester-River; and had a meeting there, and at Cecil and Sassa­fras. Thro' my bodily weakness, joined with a heavy exercise of mind, it was to me an [Page 183] humbling dispensation, and I had a very lively feeling of the state of the oppressed; yet I often thought, that what I suffered was little, compared with the sufferings of the blessed Jesus, and many of his faithful fol­lowers; and may say with thankfulness, I was made content.

From Sassafras we went pretty directly home, where we found our families well; and for several weeks after our return, I had often to look over our journey: and tho' to me it appeared as a small service, and that some faithful messengers will yet have more bitter cups to drink in those southern pro­vinces for Christ's sake than we had; yet I found peace in that I had been helped to walk in sincerity, according to the under­standing and strength given me.

On the thirteenth day of the eleventh month, 1766, with the unity of friends at our monthly-meeting, in company with my beloved friend Benjamin Jones, I sat out on a visit to friends in the upper part of this province, having had drawings of love in my heart that way a considerable time: we travelled as far as Hardwick; and I had in­ward peace in my labours of love amongst them.

Thro' the humbling dispensations of Di­vine Providence, my mind hath been brought into a further feeling of the difficulties of friends and their servants south-westward: and being often engaged in spirit on their [Page 184] account, I believed it my duty to walk into some parts of the western shore of Mary­land, on a religious visit: and having ob­tained a certificate from friends of our month­ly-meeting, I took my leave of my family under the heart-tendering operation of truth; and on the twentieth day of the fourth month, 1767, I rode to the ferry opposite to Philadelphia, and from thence walked to William Horne's at Derby that evening; and next day pursued my journey alone, and reached Concord week-day meeting.

Discouragements and a weight of distress had at times, attended me in this lonesome walk; thro' which afflictions, I was merci­fully preserved: and now sitting down with friends, my mind was turned toward the Lord, to wait for his holy leadings; who, in infinite love, was pleased to soften my heart into humble contrition, and did re­newedly strengthen me to go forward; that to me it was a time of heavenly refreshment in a silent meeting.

The next day I came to New-Garden week-day meeting, in which I sat with bow­edness of spirit; and being baptized into a feeling of the state of some present, the Lord gave us a heart-tendering season; to his name be the praise.

I passed on, and was at Nottingham month­ly-meeting; and at a meeting at Little Bri­tain on first-day: and in the afternoon se­veral friends came to the house where I [Page 185] lodged, and we had a little afternoon-meet­ing; and thro' the humbling power of truth, I had to admire the loving-kindness of the Lord manifested to us.

On the twenty-sixth day, I crossed Sus­quehannah; and coming amongst people in outward ease and greatness, chiefly on the labour of slaves, my heart was much affect­ed; and in awful retiredness, my mind was gathered inward to the Lord, being humbly engaged that in true resignation I might re­ceive instruction from him, respecting my duty amongst this people.

Tho' travelling on foot was wearisome to my body; yet thus travelling, was agree­able to the state of my mind.

I went gently on, being weakly; and was covered with sorrow and heaviness, on ac­count of the spreading prevailing spirit of this world, introducing customs grievous and oppressive on one hand, and cherishing pride and wantonness on the other. In this lonely walk, and state of abasement and humilia­tion, the state of the church in these parts was opened before me; and I may truly say with the prophet, ‘I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it.’ Under this exercise, I at­tended the quarterly-meeting at Gunpow­der; and, in bowedness of spirit, I had to open, with much plainness, what I felt re­specting friends living in fullness, on the la­bours of the poor oppressed negroes; and [Page 186] that promise of the Most High was now re­vived: ‘I will gather all nations and tongues; and they shall come and see my glory.’—Here the sufferings of Christ, and his tasting death for every man, and the travels, sufferings, and martyrdoms of the apostles, and primitive christians, in labour­ing for the conversion of the gentiles, was livingly revived in me; and according to the measure of strength afforded, I laboured in some tenderness of spirit, being deeply af­fected amongst them: and thus the differ­ence between the present treatment which these gentiles the negroes receive at our hands, and the labours of the primitive christians for the conversion of the gentiles, was pressed home, and the power of truth came over us; under a feeling of which, my mind was united to a tender-hearted people in those parts; and the meeting con­cluded in a sense of God's goodness toward his humble dependant children.

The next day was a general meeting for worship, much crouded; in which I was deeply engaged in inward cries to the Lord for help, that I might stand wholly resigned, and move only as he might be pleased to lead me: and I was mercifully helped to la­bour honestly and fervently amongst them, in which I found inward peace; and the sin­cere were comforted.

From hence I turned toward Pipe-Creek, and passed on to the Red-Lands; and had [Page 187] several meetings amongst friends in those parts. My heart was often tenderly affect­ed, under a sense of the Lord's goodness, in sanctifying my troubles and exercises, turn­ing them to my comfort, and, I believe, to the benefit of many others; for, I may say with thankfulness, that in this visit, it ap­peared like a fresh tendering visitation in most places.

I passed on to the western quarterly-meet­ing in Pennsylvania; during the several days of this meeting, I was mercifully preserved in an inward feeling after the mind of truth, and my publick labours tended to my humi­liation, with which I was content: and after the quarterly-meeting of worship ended, I felt drawings to go to the women's meet­ing of business; which was very full: and here the humility of Jesus Christ, as a pat­tern for us to walk by, was livingly opened before me; and in treating on it, my heart was enlarged; and it was a baptizing time. From hence I went on; and was at meet­ings at Concord, Middletown, Providence, and Haddonfield, and so home; where I found my family well. A sense of the Lord's merciful preservation in this my journey, ex­cites reverent thankfulness to him.

On the second day of the ninth month, 1767, with the unity of friends, I set off on a visit to friends in the upper part of Berks and Philadelphia counties; was at eleven meetings in about two weeks; and [Page 188] have renewed cause to bow in reverence be­fore the Lord, who, by the powerful extend­ings of his humbling goodness, opened my way amongst friends, and made the meet­ings (I trust) profitable to us. And the win­ter following, I joined friends on a visit to friends families, in some part of our meet­ing; in which exercise, the pure influence of divine love, made our visits reviving.

On the fifth day of the fifth month, 1768, I left home, under the humbling hand of the Lord, having obtained a certificate, in order to visit some meetings in Maryland; and to proceed without a horse looked clear­est to me. I was at the quarterly-meetings at Philadelphia and Concord; and then went on to Chester river; and crossing the Bay with friends, was at the yearly-meeting at West-River: thence back to Chester-River; and taking a few meetings in my way, pro­ceeded home. It was a journey of much in­ward waiting; and as my eye was to the Lord, way was, several times, opened to my humbling admiration, when things had ap­peared very difficult.

In my return, I felt a relief of mind, very comfortable to me; having, thro' divine help, laboured in much plainness, both with friends selected, and in the more publick meetings: so that (I trust) the pure witness, in many minds, was reached.

The eleventh day of the sixth month, 1769. Sundry cases have happened of late [Page 189] years, within the limits of our monthly-meeting, respecting that of exercising pure righteousness toward the negroes; in which I have lived under a labour of heart, that equity might be steadily kept to. On this account, I have had some close exercises amongst friends; in which, I may thank­fully say, I find peace: and as my medita­tions have been on universal love, my own conduct in time past, became of late very grievous to me.

As persons setting negroes free in our pro­vince, are bound by law to maintain them, in case they have need of relief; some who scrupled keeping slaves for term of life, in the time of my youth, were wont to detain their young negroes in their service till thir­ty years of age, without wages, on that ac­count: and with this custom I so far agreed, that I, being joined to another friend, in executing the will of a deceased friend, once sold a negro lad till he might attain the age of thirty years, and applied the money to the use of the estate.

With abasement of heart, I may now say, that sometimes, as I have set in a meeting, with my heart exercised toward that awful Being, who respecteth not persons nor co­lours, and have looked upon this lad, I have felt that all was not clear in my mind re­specting him: and as I have attended to this exercise, and fervently sought the Lord, it hath appeared to me, that I should make [Page 190] some restitution, but in what way I saw not till lately; when being under some concern, that I may be resigned to go on a visit to some part of the West-Indies; and was un­der close engagement of spirit, seeking to the Lord for counsel herein: that of my joining in the sale aforesaid, came heavily upon me; and my mind, for a time, was covered with darkness and sorrow; and under this sore affliction, my heart was softened to receive instruction: and here I first saw, that as I had been one of the two executors, who had sold this lad nine years longer than is common for our own children to serve, so I should now offer a part of my substance to redeem the last half of that nine years; but as the time was not yet come, I executed a bond, binding me, and my executors, to pay to the man he was sold to, what to can­did men might appear equitable, for the last four years and a half of his time, in case the said youth should be living, and in a condition likely to provide comfortably for himself.

The ninth day of the tenth month, 1769. My heart hath often been deeply afflicted under a feeling I have had, that the stand­ard of pure righteousness, is not lifted up to the people by us, as a society, in that clear­ness which it might have been, had we been so faithful to the teachings of Christ, as we ought to have been: and as my mind hath been inward to the Lord, the purity of [Page 191] Christ's government hath been opened in my understanding; and under this exercise, that of friends being active in civil society, in putting laws in force which are not agree­able to the purity of righteousness, hath, for several years, been an increasing bur­then upon me; having felt, in the open­ings of universal love, that where a people convinced of the truth of the inward teach­ings of Christ, are active in putting laws in execution, which are not consistent with pure wisdom, it hath a necessary tendency to bring dimness over their minds: and as my heart hath been thus exercised, and a tender sympathy in me toward my fellow members, I have, within a few months past, in several meetings for discipline, expressed my con­cern on this subject.

CHAP X.

THE twelfth day of the third month, having, for some years past, dieted myself on account of a lump gathering on my nose; under this diet, I grew weak in body, and not of ability to travel by land as heretofore: I was, at times, favoured to look with awfulness toward the Lord, before whom are all my ways, who alone hath the power of life and death; and to feel thankful­ness raised in me, for this his fatherly chastise­ment, believing, if I was truly humbled un­der [Page 193] it, all would work for good. While I was under this bodily weakness, my mind being, at times, exercised for my fellow-creatures in the West-Indies, I grew jealous over myself, lest the disagreeableness of the prospect should hinder me from obediently attending thereto: for tho' I knew not that the Lord required me to go there; yet I be­lieved, that resignation was now called for in that respect: and feeling a danger of not being wholly devoted to him, I was fre­quently engaged to watch unto prayer, that I might be preserved; and upwards of a year having passed, I walked one day in a soli­ry wood, my mind being covered with awful­ness, cries were raised in me to my merciful Father, that he would graciously keep me in faithfulness; and it then settled on my mind as a duty, to open my condition to friends at our monthly-meeting; which I did soon after, as follows:

"An exercise hath attended me for some time past, and of late been more weighty upon me; under which, I believe it is re­quired of me to be resigned to go on a visit to some part of the West-Indies:" and in the quarterly and general spring meeting, I found no clearness to express any thing fur­ther, than that I believed resignation herein was required of me; and having obtained certificates from all said meetings, I felt like a sojourner at my outward habitation, kept free from worldly encumbrances, and was [Page 194] often bowed in spirit before the Lord, with inward breathings to him, that I might be rightly directed. And I may here note, that what I have before related of my being, when young, joined as an executor with an­other friend, in executing the will of the deceased, our having sold a negro lad till he might attain the age of thirty years, was now the occasion of great sorrow to me: and after having settled matters relating to this youth, I provided a sea-store and bed, and things for the voyage; and hearing of a vessel likely to sail from Philadelphia for Bar­badoes, I spake with one of the owners at Burlington, and soon after went to Phila­delphia on purpose to speak with him again: at which time he told me, there was a friend in town who was part owner of the said vessel; but I felt no inclination to speak with him, but returned home: and a while after, I took leave of my family; and going to Phi­ladelphia, had some weighty conversation with the first-mentioned owner, and shewed him a writing, as follows:

"On the twenty-fifth day of the eleventh month, 1769, as an exercise, with respect to a visit to Barbadoes, hath been weighty on my mind, I may express some of the tryals which have attended me; under these tryals I have, at times, rejoiced, in that I have felt my own self-will subjected."

"I once, some years ago, retailed rum, sugar, and molasses, the fruits of the labour [Page 195] of slaves; but then, had not much concern about them, save only that the rum might be used in moderation; nor was this concern so weightily attended to, as I now believe it ought to have been: but of late years being further informed, respecting the oppressions too generally exercised in these islands, and thinking often on the degrees that are in connections of interest and fellowship with the works of darkness, Ephe. v. 11. And feeling an increasing concern to be wholly given up to the leadings of the Holy Spirit, it hath appeared, that the small gain I got by this branch of trade, should be applied in promoting righteousness on the earth; and were the first motion toward a visit to Bar­badoes: I believed the outward substance I possess should be applied in paying my pas­sage, if I go, and providing things in a low­ly way for my subsistance; but when the time drew near, in which, I believed, it re­quired of me to be in readiness, a difficulty arose, which hath been a continued tryal for some months past; under which, I have, with abasement of mind, from day to day, sought the Lord for instruction; and often had a feeling of the condition of one for­merly, who bewailed himself, for that the Lord hid his face from him.—During these exercises, my heart hath been often contrite; and I have had a tender feeling of the temp­tations of my fellow-creatures, labouring un­der those expensive customs distinguishable [Page 196] from the simplicity that there is in Christ, 2 Cor. ii. 3. and sometimes in the renewings of gospel love, have been helped to minister to others."

"That which hath so closely engaged my mind, in seeking to the Lord for instruction is, whether, after so full information of the oppression the slaves in the West-Indies lie under, who raise the West-India produce, as I had in reading a caution and warning to Great-Britain and her colonies, wrote by Anthony Benezet) it is right for me to take a passage in a vessel, employed in the West-India trade?"

"To trade freely with oppressors, and with­out labouring to dissuade from such unkind treatment, seek for gain by such traffick, tends, I believe, to make them more easy, respecting their conduct, than they would be, if the cause of universal righteousness was humbly and firmly attended to, by those in general with whom they have commerce; and that complaint of the Lord by his pro­phet, ‘They have strengthened the hands of the wicked,’ hath very often revived in my mind; and I may here add some cir­cumstances preceding any prospect of a vi­sit there: the case of David hath often been before me of late years: he longed for some water in a well beyond an army of Philis­tines, at war with Israel; and some of his men, to please him, ventured their lives in passing thro' this army, and brought that water."

[Page 197] "It doth not appear that the Israelites were then scarce of water, but rather, that Da­vid gave way to delicacy of taste; but hav­ing thought on the danger these men were exposed to, he considered this water as their blood, and his heart smote him that he could not drink it, but poured it out to the Lord. And the oppression of the slaves, which I have seen in several journies southward, on this continent, and the report of their treat­ment in the West-Indies hath deeply affect­ed me; and a care to live in the spirit of peace, and minister just cause of offence to none of my fellow-creatures, hath, from time to time, livingly revived on my mind; and under this exercise, I, for some years past, declined to gratify my palate with those sugars."

"I do not censure my brethren in these things; but believe the Father of mercies, to whom all mankind by creation are equal­ly related, hath heard the groans of these oppressed people; and is preparing soon to have a tender feeling of their condition: and the trading in, or frequent use of, any pro­duce known to be raised by the labours of those who are under such lamentable oppres­sion, hath appeared to be a subject which may yet more require the serious considera­tion of the humble followers of Christ, the prince of peace."

"After long and mournful exercise, I am now free to mention how things have open­ed [Page 198] in my mind, with desires that if it may please the Lord, to further open his will to any of his children in this matter, they may faithfully follow him in such further mani­festation."

"The number of those who decline the use of the West-India produce, on account of the hard usage of the slaves who raise it, ap­pears small, even amongst people truly pi­ous; and the labours in christian love, on that subject, of those who do, not very ex­tensive."

"Were the trade from this continent to the West-Indies to be quite stopped at once, I believe many there would suffer for want of bread."

"Did we on this continent, and the in­habitants of the West-Indies, generally dwell in pure righteousness, I believe a small trade between us might be right: that under these considerations, when the thoughts of wholly declining the use of trading vessels, and of trying to hire a vessel to go under ballast have arose in my mind, I have believed that the labours in gospel love, yet bestowed in the cause of universal righteousness, are not arrived to that height."

"If the trade to the West-Indies were no more than was consistent with pure wisdom, I believe the passage-money would, for good reasons, be higher than it is now; and here, under deep exercise of mind, I have believed, that I should not take the advantage of this great trade, and small passage-money; but [Page 199] as a testimony in favour of less trading, should pay more than is common for others to pay, if I go at this time."

The first-mentioned owner having read the paper, expressed a willingness to go with me to the other owner; and we going, the said other owner read over the paper, and we had some solid conversation; under which, I felt my soul bowed in reverence before the Most-High: and, at length, one of them asked me, if I would go and see the vessel? but I had not clearness in my mind to go; but went to my lodgings, and re­tired in private.

I was now under great exercise of mind; and my tears were poured out before the Lord, with inward cries, that he would gra­ciously help me under these trials.

In this case, I believe my mind was re­signed, but did not feel clearness to pro­ceed; and my own weakness, and the neces­sity of divine instruction, was impressed up­on me.

I was, for a time, as one who knew not what to do, and was tossed as in a tempest; under which affliction, the doctrine of Christ "Take no thought for the morrow," arose livingly before me. I remembered it was some days before they expected the vessel to sail, and was favoured to get into a good degree of stillness; and having been near two days in town, I believe my obedience to my heavenly Father consisted in returning [Page 200] homeward; and then I went over amongst friends on the Jersey shore, and tarried till the morning on which they had appointed to sail: and as I lay in bed the latter part of that night, my mind was comforted; and I felt what I esteemed a fresh confirmation, that it was the Lord's will, that I should pass through some further exercises near home.

So I went home, and still felt like a so­journer with my family: and in the fresh spring of pure love, had some labours in a private way amongst friends, on a subject relating to truth's testimony; under which, I had frequently been exercised in heart for some years. I remember, as I walked on the road under this exercise, that passage in Eze­kiel came fresh before me: ‘Whithersoever their faces were turned, thither they went.’ and I was graciously helped to discharge my duty, in the fear and dread of the Al­mighty.

After a few weeks, it pleased the Lord to visit me with a pleurisy; and after I had lain a few days, and felt the disorder very grievous, I was thoughtful how it might end.

I had of late, through various exercises, been much weaned from the pleasant things of this life; and I now thought, if it was the Lord's will to put an end to my labours, and graciously receive me into the arms of his mercy, death would be acceptable to me; [Page 201] but if it was his will to farther refine me under affliction, and make me, in any de­gree, useful in his church, I desired not to die. I may, with thankfulness, say, that in this case I felt resignedness wrought in me, and had no inclination to send for a doctor; believing, if it was the Lord's will, thro' outward means, to raise me up, some sympathizing friends would be sent to mini­ster to me; which were accordingly: but though I was carefully attended, yet the dis­order was, at times, so heavy, that I had no thoughts of recovery: one night in par­ticular, my bodily distress was great; my feet grew cold, and cold increased up my legs toward my body; and, at that time, I had no inclination to ask my nurse to apply any­thing warm to my feet, expecting my end was near: and after I had lain near ten hours in this condition, I closed my eyes, thinking whether I might now be delivered out of the body; but in these awful moments, my mind was livingly opened to behold the church; and strong engagements were be­gotten in me, for the everlasting well-being of my fellow-creatures: and I felt, in the spring of pure love, that I might remain some time longer in the body, in filling up, according to my measure, that which re­mains of the affections of Chris [...] and in la­bouring for the good of the church; after which, I requested my nurse to apply warmth to my feet; and I revived: and the next [Page 202] night, feeling a weighty exercise of spirit, and having a solid friend sitting up with me, I requested him to write what I said; which he did, as follows:

"Fourth day of the first month, 1770, about five in the morning.—I have seen in the Light of the Lord, that the day is ap­proaching, when the man that is the most wise in human policy, shall be the greatest fool; and the arm that is mighty to support injustice, shall be broken to pieces: the ene­mies of righteousness shall make a terrible rattle, and shall mightily torment one ano­ther; for He that is omnipotent is rising up to judgment, and will plead the cause of the oppressed; and he commanded me to open the vision."

Near a week after this, feeling my mind livingly opened, I sent for a neighbour, who, at my request, wrote as follows:

"The place of prayer is a precious habi­tation; for I now saw that the prayers of the saints was precious incense: and a trum­pet was given me, that I might sound forth this language; that the children might hear it, and be invited together to this precious habitation, where the prayers of the saints, as precious incense, ariseth up before the throne of God and the Lamb—I saw this habitation to be safe; to be inwardly quiet, when there were great stirrings and commo­tions in the world."

[Page 203] "Prayer, at this day, in pure resignation, is a precious place: the trumpet is sounded, the call goes forth to the church, that she gather to the place of pure inward prayer; and her habitation is safe."

CHAP. XI.

HAVING been some time under a reli­gious concern to prepare for crossing the seas, in order to visit friends in the north­ern parts of England, and more particularly in Yorkshire: after weighty consideration, I thought it expedient to inform friends, at our [Page 204] monthly-meeting at Burlington, of it; who, having unity with me therein, gave me a certificate; and I afterwards communicated the same to our quarterly-meeting, and they likewise certified their concurrence therewith. Some time after which, at the general spring-meeting of ministers and elders, I thought it my duty to acquaint them of the religious exercise which attended my mind; with which, they likewise signified their unity by a certificate, dated the twenty-fourth day of the eighth month, 1772, directed to friends in Great-Britain.

In the fourth month following, I thought the time was come for me to make some en­quiry for a suitable conveyance; being ap­prehensive, that as my concern was princi­pally toward the northern parts of England, it would be most proper to go in a vessel bound to Liverpool or Whitehaven: and while I was at Philadelphia, deliberating on this occasion, I was informed, that my belov­ed friend Samuel Emlen, jun. intending to go to London; and having taken a passage for himself in the cabbin of the ship, called Mary and Elizabeth, of which James Sparks was master, and John Head, of the city of Philadelphia, one of the owners; and I feel­ing a draft in my mind toward the steerage of the same ship, went first and opened to Samuel the feeling I had concerning it.

My beloved friend wept when I spake to him, and appeared glad that I had thoughts [Page 205] of going in the vessel with him, though my prospect was toward the steerage; and he offering to go with me, we went on board, first into the cabbin, a commodious room, and then into the steerage; where we sat down on a chest, the sailors being busy about us: then the owner of the ship came, and sat down with us.

Here my mind was turned toward Christ, the heavenly counsellor; and I feeling, at this time, my own will subjected, my heart was contrite before him.

A motion was made by the owner, to go and set in the cabbin, as a place more re­tired; but I felt easy to leave the ship, and made no agreement as to a passage in her; but told the owner, if I took a passage in the ship, I believed it would be in the steerage; but did not say much as to my exercise in that case.

After I went to my lodgings, and the case was a little known in town, a friend laid be­fore me the great inconvenience attending a passage in the steerage; which, for a time, appeared very discouraging to me.

I soon after went to bed, and my mind was under a deep exercise before the Lord; whose helping hand was manifested to me as I slept that night, and his love strengthen­ed my heart: and in the morning, I went with two friends on board the vessel again; and after a short time spent therein, I went with Samuel Emlen to the house of the [Page 206] owner; to whom, in the hearing of Samuel only, I opened my exercise, in substance as follows, in relation to a scruple I felt with regard to a passage in the cabbin:

I told the owner, that on the outside of that part of the ship where the cabbin was, I observed sundry sorts of carved work and imagery; and that in the cabbin I observed some superfluity of workmanship of several sorts; and that according to the ways of men's reckoning, the sum of money to be paid for a passage in that apartment, hath some relation to the expence in furnishing it to please the minds of such who give way to a conformity to this world; and that in this case, as in other cases, the monies received from the passengers, are calculated to answer every expence relating to their passage, and amongst the rest of these superfluities: and that in this case, I felt a scruple with regard to paying my money to defray such ex­pences.

As my mind was now opened, I told the owner, that I had, at several times in my travels, seen great oppressions on this conti­nent; at which my heart had been much affected, and brought into a feeling of the state of the sufferers. And having many times been engaged, in the fear and love of God, to labour with those under whom the oppressed have been borne down and afflict­ed; I have often perceived, that a view to get riches, and provide estates for children, [Page 207] to live conformable to customs, which stand in that spirit wherein men have regard to the honours of this world—that in the pur­suit of these things, I had seen many entan­gled in the spirit of oppression; and the ex­ercise of my soul had been such, that I could not find peace, in joining in any thing which I saw was against that wisdom which is pure.

After this, I agreed for a passage in the steerage; and hearing in town that Joseph White had a desire to see me, I felt the re­viving of a desire to see him, and went then to his house, and next day home; where I tarried two nights: and then early in the morning, I parted with my family, under a sense of the humbling hand of God upon me; and going to Philadelphia, had oppor­tunity with several of my beloved friends; who appeared to be concerned for me, on account of the unpleasant situation of that part of the vessel, where I was likely to lodge.

In these opportunities, my mind, through the mercies of the Lord, was kept low, in an inward waiting for his help; and friends having expressed their desire, that I might have a place more convenient than the steer­age, did not urge, but appeared disposed to leave me to the Lord.

Having stayed two nights in Philadelphia, I went the next day to Derby monthly-meet­ing; where, through the strength of divine [Page 208] love, my heart was enlarged toward the youth then present; under which I was helped to labour in some tenderness of spi­rit. Then lodging at William Horne's, I, with one friend, went to Chester; where meeting with Samuel Emlen, we went on board the first day of the fifth month, 1772: and as I sat down alone, on a seat on the deck, I felt a satisfactory evidence, that my proceedings were not in my own will, but under the power of the cross of Christ.

Seventh day of the fifth month: have had rough weather, mostly since I came on board; and the passengers, James Reynolds, John Till-Adams, Sarah Logan and her hired maid, and John Bispham, all sea-sick, more or less, at times; from which sickness, thro' the tender mercies of my heavenly Fa­ther, I have been preserved: my afflictions now being of another kind.

There appeared an openness in the minds of the master of the ship and in the cabbin passengers toward me; we were often toge­ther on the deck, and sometimes in the cab­bin.

My mind, thro' the merciful help of the Lord, hath been preserved in a good degree watchful, and inward; and have, this day, great cause to be thankful, in that I remain to feel quietness of mind.

As my lodgings in the steerage, now near a week, hath afforded me sundry opportu­nities of seeing, hearing, and feeling, with [Page 209] respect to the life and spirit of many poor sailors: an inward exercise of soul hath at­tended me, in regard to placing out children and youth where they may be likely to be exampled and instructed in the pure fear of the Lord; and I being much amongst the seamen, have from a motion of love, sundry times taken opportunities, with one of them at a time alone; and in a free conversation, laboured to turn their minds toward the fear of the Lord: and this day we had a meet­ing in the cabbin, where my heart was con­trite under a feeling of divine love.

Now concerning lads being trained up as seamen: I believe a communication from one part of the world to some other parts of it, by sea, is, at times, consistent with the will of our heavenly Father; and to educate some youth in the practice of sailing, I believe may be right: but how lamentable is the present corruption of the world! how im­pure are the channels thro' which trade hath a conveyance! how great is that danger, to which poor lads are now exposed, when placed on shipboard to learn the art of sail­ing?

Five lads, training up for the seas, were now on board this ship; two of them brought up amongst our society; one of which hath a right amongst friends, by name James Nailor, to whose father James Nailor, men­tioned in Sewel's history, appears to have been uncle.

[Page 210] I often feel a tenderness of heart toward these poor lads; and, at times, look at them as though they were my children according to the flesh.

O that all may take heed and beware of covetousness! O that all may learn of Christ, who was meek and low of heart! Then in faithfully following him, he will teach us to be content with food and raiment, without re­spect to the customs or honours of this world.

Men thus redeemed, will feel a tender con­cern for their fellow-creatures, and a desire that those in the lowest stations may be assist­ed and encouraged; and where owners of ships attain to the perfect law of liberty, and are doers of the word, these will be blessed in their deeds.

A ship at sea commonly sails all night, and the seamen take their watches four hours at a time.

Rising to work in the night, is not com­monly pleasant in any case; but in dark rainy nights it is very disagreeable, even though each man were furnished with all conveniences: but if men must go out at midnight to help manage the ship in the rain, and having small room to sleep and lay their garments in, are often beset to furnish themselves for the watch; their garments or some thing relating to their business being wanting, and not easily found; when from the urgency occasioned by high winds, they are hastened and called up suddenly: here is a [Page 211] tryal of patience on the poor sailors, and the poor lads their companions.

If after they have been on deck several hours in the night, and come down into the steerage soaking wet, and are so close stowed that proper convenience for change of gar­ment is not easily come at, but for want of proper room their wet garments thrown in heaps, and sometimes, through much crowd­ing, are trodden under foot, in going to their lodgings and getting out of them, and great difficulties, at times, each one to find his own: here are tryals on the poor sailors.

Now as I have been with them in my lodge, my heart hath often yearned for them; and tender desires been raised in me, that all owners and masters of vessels may dwell in the love of God, and therein act uprightly; and by seeking less for gain, and looking carefully to their ways, may earn­estly labour to remove all cause of provoca­tion from the poor seamen, either to fret or use excess of strong drink; for, indeed, the poor creatures, at times, in the wet and cold, seem to apply to strong drink to sup­ply the want of other convenience.

Great reformation in the world is want­ing, and the necessity of it, amongst these who do business on great waters, hath, at this time, been abundantly opened before me.

The eighth day of the fifth month.—This morning the clouds gathered, the wind blew [Page 212] strong from south-eastward, and before noon increased to that degree that sailing appeared dangerous: the seamen then bound up some of their sails, and took down some; and the storm increasing, they put the dead lights, so called, into the cabbin-windows, and lighted a lamp as at night.

The wind now blew vehemently, and the sea wrought to that degree, that an awful se­riousness prevailed in the cabbin, in which I spent, I believe, about seventeen hours; for I believed the poor wet toiling seamen, had need of all the room in the crouded steerage, and the cabbin passengers had given me frequent invitations.

They ceased now from sailing; and put the vessel in the posture, called lying-to.

My mind in this tempest, thro' the gra­cious assistance of the Lord, was preserved in a good degree of resignation; and I felt, at times, a few words in his love to my ship-mates, in regard to the all-sufficiency of Him who formed the great deep, and whose care is so extensive, that a sparrow falls not without his notice: and thus in a tender frame of mind, spake to them of the necessity of our yielding, in true obedience, to the instructions of our heavenly Father, who sometimes, through adversities, intend­eth our refinement.

About eleven at night, I went out on the deck, when the sea wrought exceedingly, and the high foaming waves, all round about, [Page 213] had in some sort the appearance of fire; but did not give much, if any, light.

The sailor, then at the helm, said, he lately saw a corposant at the head of the mast.

About this time I observed the master of the ship ordered the carpenter to keep on the deck; and tho' he said little, I apprehended his care was, that the carpenter with his axe might be in readiness, in case of any extre­mity.

Soon after this, the vehemency of the wind abated; and before morning, they again put the ship under sail.

The tenth day of the month, and first of the week, it being fine weather, we had a meeting in the cabbin, at which most of the seamen were present: this meeting to me was a strengthening time.

The thirteenth day of the month. As I continue to lodge in the steerage, I feel an openness this morning, to express something further of the state of my mind, in respect to poor lads bound apprentice to learn the art of sailing. As I believe sailing is of some use in the world, a labour of soul attends me, that the pure counsel of truth may be humbly waited for in this case, by all concerned in the business of the seas.

A pious father, whose mind is exercised for the everlasting welfare of his child, may not, with a peaceable mind, place him out to an employment amongst a people, whose [Page 214] common course of life is manifestly corrupt and prophane; so great is the present defect amongst sea-faring men, in regard to piety and virtue: and through an abundant traf­fick, and many ships of war, so many peo­ple are employed on the sea, that this subject of placing lads to the employment appears very weighty.

Prophane examples are very corrupting, and very forcible. And as my mind, day after day, and night after night, hath been affected with a sympathizing tenderness to­ward poor children, put to the employment of sailors, I have sometimes had weighty conversation with the sailors in the steerage, who were mostly respectful to me, and more and more so the longer I was with them: they mostly appeared to take kindly what I said to them; but their minds have appeared to be so deeply impressed with that almost universal depravity amongst sailors, that the poor creatures in their answers to me on this subject, have revived in my remem­brance, that of the degenerate Jews a little before the captivity, as repeated by Jeremiah the prophet, "There is no hope."

Now under this exercise, a sense of the desire of outward gain prevailing amongst us, hath felt grievous; and a strong call to the professed followers of Christ, hath been raised in me; that, all may take heed, lest, through loving this present world, they be found in a continued neglect of duty, with [Page 215] respect to a faithful labour for a reforma­tion.

Silence, as to every motion proceeding from the love of money, and an humble waiting upon God, to know his will con­cerning us, hath now appeared necessary: he alone is able to strengthen us to dig deep, to remove all which lies between us and the safe foundation, and so direct us in our out­ward employments, that pure universal love may shine forth in our proceedings.

Desires arising from the spirit of truth, are pure desires; and when a mind, divinely opened toward a young generation, is made sensible of corrupting examples, powerfully working, and extensively spreading amongst them, how moving is the prospect!

A great trade to the coast of Africa for slaves; of which I now heard frequent con­versation among the sailors!

A great trade in that which is raised and prepared thro' grievous oppression!

A great trade in superfluity of workman­ship, formed to please the pride and vanity of people's minds!

Great and extensive is that depravity, which prevails amongst the poor sailors!

When I remember that saying of the Most High, through his prophet, ‘This people have I formed for myself; they shall shew forth my praise:’ and think of placing children amongst them, to learn the practice of sailing, the consistency of it with a pious [Page 216] education, seems to me like that mentioned by the prophet, ‘There is no answer from God.’

In a world of dangers and difficulties, like a desolate thorny wilderness, how precious! how comfortable! how safe! are the lead­ings of Christ, the good shepherd; who said, "I know my sheep; and am known of mine."

The sixteenth day of the month. Wind for several days past often high, what the sailors call squally, rough sea and frequent rains. This last night a very trying night to the poor seamen; the water, chief part of the night, running over the main deck, and sometimes breaking waves came on the quar­ter deck. The latter part of the night, as I lay in bed, my mind was humbled under the power of divine love; and resignedness to the great Creator of the earth and the seas, renewedly wrought in me, whose fa­therly care over his children felt precious to my soul: and desires were now renewed in me, to embrace every opportunity of being inwardly acquainted with the hardships and difficulties of my fellow-creatures, and to labour in his love for the spreading of pure universal righteousness on the earth. The opportunities being frequent of hearing con­versation amongst the sailors, in respect to the voyages to Africa, and the manner of bringing the deeply oppressed slaves into our islands. The thoughts of their condition, frequently in chains and setters on board the [Page 217] vessels, with hearts loaded with grief, under the apprehensions of miserable slavery; my mind was frequently opened to meditate on these things.

On the seventeenth day of the month, and first of the week, we had a meeting in the cabbin; to which the seamen generally came. My spirit was contrite before the Lord; whose love, at this time, affected my heart.

This afternoon I felt a tender sympathy of soul, with my poor wife and family left be­hind; in which state, my heart was en­larged in desires, that they may walk in that humble obedience wherein the everlasting Father may be their guide and support, thro' all the difficulties in this world; and a sense of that gracious assistance, thro' which my mind hath been strengthened to take up the cross and leave them, to travel in the love of truth, hath begotten thankfulness in my heart to our great Helper.

On the twenty-fourth day of the month, and first of the week, a clear pleasant morn­ing: and as I sat on deck, I felt a reviving in my nature; which, through much rainy weather, and high winds, being shut up in a close unhealthy air, was weakened.

Several nights of late I felt breathing dif­ficult; that a little after the rising of the second watch (which is about midnight) I got up, and stood, I believe, near an hour, with my face near the hatchway, to get the fresh air at the small vacancy under the [Page 218] hatch door; which is commonly shut down, partly to keep out rain, and sometimes to keep the breaking waves from dashing into the steerage.

I may, with thankfulness to the Father of mercies, acknowledge, that in my pre­sent weak state, my mind hath been support­ed to bear the affliction with patience; and have looked at the present dispensation as a kindness from the great Father of mankind, who, in this my floating pilgrimage, is in some degree bringing me to feel that, which many thousands of my fellow-creatures of­ten suffer in a greater degree.

My appetite failing, the tryal hath been the heavier; and I have felt tender breath­ings in my soul after God, the fountain of comfort, whose inward help hath supplied, at times, the want of outward convenience: and strong desires have attended me, that his family, who are acquainted with the mov­ings of his Holy Spirit, may be so redeemed from the love of money, and from that spi­rit in which men seek honour one of ano­ther; that in all business, by sea or land, we may constantly keep in view the coming of his kingdom on earth, as it is in heaven; and by faithfully following this safe guide, shew forth examples, tending to lead out of that under which the creation groans!

This day we had a meeting in the cabbin; in which I was favoured in some degree to experience the fulfilling of that saying of [Page 219] the prophet, ‘The Lord hath been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in their distress;’ for which, my heart is bowed in thankfulness before him.

The twenty-eighth day of the month: wet weather of late, small winds inclining to calms; our seamen have cast a lead, I sup­pose about one hundred fathom, but find no bottom: foggy weather this morning.

Through the kindness of the great Pre­server of men, my mind remains quiet; and a degree of exercise, from day to day, at­tends me, that the pure peaceable govern­ment of Christ may spread and prevail a­mongst mankind.

The leading on of a young generation, in that pure way, in which the wisdom of this world hath no place: where parents and tu­tors, humbly waiting for the heavenly Coun­sellor, may example them in the truth, as it is in Jesus. This, for several days, hath been the exercise of my mind; O how safe, how quiet is that state, where the soul stands in pure obedience to the voice of Christ, and a watchful care is maintained, not to follow the voice of the stranger!

Here Christ is felt to be our shepherd; and under his leading, people are brought to a stability: and where he doth not lead for­ward, we are bound in the bonds of pure love, to stand still and wait upon him. In the love of money, and in the wisdom of this world, business is proposed, then the [Page 220] urgency of affairs push forward; nor can the mind, in this state, discern the good and per­fect will of God concerning us.

The love of God is manifested, in graci­ously calling us to come out of that which stands in confusion; but if we bow not in the name of Jesus; if we give not up those prospects of gain, which, in the wisdom of this world, are open before us, but say in our hearts, I must needs go on; and in go­ing on, I hope to keep as near to the purity of truth, as the business before me will ad­mit of: here the mind remains entangled, and the shining of the light of life into the soul is obstructed.

This query opens in my mind in the love of Christ. Where shall a pious father place his son apprentice, to be instructed in the practice of crossing the seas; and have faith to believe, that Christ, our holy Shepherd, leads him to place his son there?

Surely the Lord calls to mourning and deep humiliation, that in his fear we may be instructed, and led safely on through the great difficulties and perplexities in this pre­sent age.

In an entire subjection of our wills, the Lord graciously opens a way for his people, where all their wants are bounded by his wisdom; and here we experience the sub­stance of what Moses the prophet figured out in the water of separation, as a purification from sin.

[Page 221] Esau is mentioned as a child red all over, like a hairy garment: in Esau is represented the natural will of man. In preparing the water of separation, a red heifer without blemish, on which there had been no yoke, was to be slain, and her blood sprinkled by the priest seven times toward the tabernacle of the congregation: then her skin, her flesh, and all pertaining to her, was to be burnt without the camp; and of her ashes the water was prepared. Thus the crucify­ing the old man, or natural will, is repre­sented; and hence comes a separation from that carnal mind, which is death.

‘He who toucheth the dead body of a man, and purisieth not himself with the water of separation, he defileth the taber­nacle of the Lord; he is unclean.’ Numb. xix. 13.

If any, through the love of gain, go forth into business, wherein they dwell as a­mongst the tombs, and touch the bodies of those who are dead: if these, through the infinite love of God, feel the power of the cross of Christ to crucify them to the world, and therein learn humbly to follow the di­vine leader:—here is the judgment of this world—here the prince of this world is cast out.

The water of separation is felt; and tho' we have been amongst the slain, and thro' the desire of gain have touched the dead bo­dy of a man; yet, in the purifying love of [Page 222] Christ, we are washed in the water of sepa­ration, are brought off from that business, from that gain, and from that fellowship, which was not agreeable to his holy will: and I have felt a renewed confirmation in the time of this voyage, that the Lord, in his infinite love, is calling to his visited chil­dren, so to give up all outward possessions, and means of getting treasures, that his Ho­ly Spirit may have free course in their hearts, and direct them in all their proceedings.

To feel the substance pointed at in this figure, man must know death, as to his own will.

"No man can see God, and live:" This was spoken by the Almighty to Moses the prophet; and opened by our blessed Re­deemer.

As death comes on our own wills, and a new life is formed in us, the heart is purified, and prepared to understand clearly. ‘Bless­ed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.’ In purity of heart, the mind is divinely opened to behold the nature of uni­versal righteousness, or the righteousness of the kingdom of God. ‘No man hath seen the Father, save he that is of God; he hath seen the Father.’

The natural mind is active about the things of this life; and in this natural acti­vity, business is proposed, and a will in us to go forward in it. And as long as this na­tural will remains unsubjected, so long there [Page 223] remains an obstruction against the clearness of divine light operating in us; but when we love God with all our heart, and with all our strength; then, in this love, we love our neighbours as ourselves; and a tender­ness of heart is felt toward all people for whom Christ died, even such who as to out­ward circumstances may be to us as the Jews were to the Samaritans. Who is my neigh­bour? See this question answered by our Sa­viour, Luke x. 30.

In this love we can say, that Jesus is the Lord; and the reformation in our souls, ma­nifested in a full reformation of our lives, wherein all things are new, and all things are of God; 2 Cor. v. 18. in this the desire of gain is subjected.

When employment is honestly followed in the light of truth; and people become dili­gent in business, ‘fervent in spirit; serving the Lord:’ Rom. xii. 11. Here the name is opened: ‘This is the name by which he shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.’ Jere. xxiii. 6. Oh, how precious is this name! It is like ointment poured out. The chaste virgins are in love with the Redeemer; and for the pro­moting his peaceable kingdom in the world, are content to endure hardness like good sol­diers; and are so separated in spirit, from the desire of riches, that in their employ­ments, they become extensively careful to give none offence, neither to Jews nor heathen, nor the church of Christ.

[Page 224] On the thirty-first day of the month, and first of the week, we had a meeting in the cabbin, with near all the ship's company; the whole being near thirty. In this meet­ing the Lord, in mercy, favoured us with the extendings of his love.

The second day of the sixth month. Last evening the seamen found bottom at about seventy fathom.

This morning fair wind, and pleasant: and as I sat on deck, my heart was over­come with the love of Christ, and melted in­to contrition before him: and in this state, the prospect of that work, to which I have felt my mind drawn when in my native land, being in some degree opened before me, I felt like a little child; and my cries were put up to my heavenly Father for pre­servation, that in a humble dependance on him, my soul may be strengthened in his love, and kept inwardly waiting for his counsel.

This afternoon we saw that part of Eng­land called the Lizard.

Some dunghill fowls yet remained of those the passengers took for their sea-store: I be­lieve about fourteen perished in the storms at sea, by the waves breaking over the quar­ter-deck; and a considerable number with sickness, at different times.—I observed the cocks crew coming down the Delaware, and while we were near the land; but after­ward, I think I did not hear one of them [Page 225] crow till we came near the land in England, when they again crowed a few times.

In observing their dull appearance at sea, and the pining sickness of some of them, I often remembered the fountain of goodness, who gave being to all creatures, and whose love extends to that of caring for the spar­rows; and believe, where the love of God is verily perfected, and the true spirit of go­vernment watchfully attended to, a tender­ness toward all creatures made subject to us will be experienced; and a care felt in us, that we do not lessen that sweetness of life, in the animal creation, which the great Creator intends for them under our government.

The fourth day of the month. Wet wea­ther, high winds, and so dark that we could see but a little way. I perceived our seamen were apprehensive of danger of missing the Channel; which, I understood, was narrow. In a while, it grew lighter; and they saw the land, and they knew where we were. Thus the Father of mercies was pleased to try us with the sight of dangers; and then graci­ously, from time to time, deliver from them: thus sparing our lives, that in humility and reverence, we may walk before him, and put our trust in him.

About noon a pilot came off from Dover; where my beloved friend Samuel Emlen went on shore, and thence to London, about seven­ty-two miles by land; but I felt easy in staying in the ship.

[Page 226] The seventh day of the month, and first of the week. Clear morning, lay at anchor for the tide, and had a parting meeting with the ship's company; in which, my heart was enlarged in a fervent concern for them, that they may come to experience salvation thro' Christ.—Had a head wind up the Thames; lay sometimes at anchor; saw many ships passing, and some at anchor near; and had large opportunity of feeling the spirit in which the poor bewildered sailors too gene­rally live.—That lamentable degeneracy, which so much prevails on the people em­ployed on the seas, so affected my heart, that I may not easily convey the feeling I have had to another.

The present state of the sea-faring life in general, appears so opposite to that of a pi­ous education; so full of corruption, and extreme alienation from God; so full of ex­amples, the most dangerous to young peo­ple, that in looking toward a young genera­tion, I feel a care for them, that they may have an education different from the present education of lads at sea: and that all of us, who are acquainted with the pure gospel spi­rit, may lay this case to heart, may remem­ber the lamentable corruptions which at­tends the conveyance of merchandize across the seas, and so abide in the love of Christ, that being delivered from the love of mo­ney, from the entangling expences of a cu­rious, delicate luxurious life, we may learn contentment with a little; and promote [Page 227] the sea-faring life no further, than that spi­rit, which leads into all truth, attends us in our proceedings.

CHAP. XII.

ON the eighth day of the sixth month, 1772, we landed at London; and I went straightway to the yearly-meeting of ministers and elders, which had been ga­thered (I suppose) about half an hour.

In this meeting, my mind was humbly contrite: in the afternoon, the meeting of [Page 228] business opened; which, by adjournments, held near a week.—in these meetings, I of­ten felt a living concern for the establishment of friends in the pure life of truth: and my heart was enlarged in the meeting of mi­nisters, meeting of business, and in several meetings of publick worship; and I felt my mind united in true love, to the faithful la­bourers now gathered at this yearly-meet­ing.

On the fifteenth day of the month, I left London, and went to a quarterly-meeting at Hertford.

The first day of the seventh month. I have been at quarterly-meetings at Sherring­ton, Northampton, Banbury and Shipton; and had sundry meetings between: my mind hath been bowed under a sense of divine goodness manifested amongst us; my heart hath been often enlarged in true love, both amongst ministers and elders, and in publick meetings; that through the Lord's good­ness, I believe it hath been a fresh visitation to many, in particular to the youth.

The seventeenth day of the month. Was this day at Birmingham: have been at meet­ings at Coventry, Warwick, in Oxfordshire, and sundry other places; have felt the hum­bling hand of the Lord upon me; and thro' his tender mercies find peace in the labours I have gone through.

The twenty-sixth day of the month. I have continued travelling northward, visit­ing [Page 229] meetings: was this day at Nottingham; which, in the forenoon especially, was, thro' divine love, a heart-tendering season: next day had a meeting in a friend's house with friends children and some friends; this, thro' the strengthening arm of the Lord, was a time to be thankfully remembered.

The second day of the eighth month, and first of the week, was this day at Sheffield, a large inland town: have been at sundry meetings last week; and feel inward thank­fulness for that divine support, which hath been graciously extended to me.

The ninth day of the month, and first of the week, was at Rushworth: have lately passed through some painful labour; but have been comforted, under a sense of that divine visitation, which I feel extended to­ward many young people.

The sixteenth day of the month, and first of the week, was at Settle: it hath of late been a time of inward poverty; under which, my mind hath been preserved in a watchful tender state, feeling for the mind of the ho­ly Leader, and find peace in the labours I have passed through.

On enquiry, in many places, I find the price of rye about five shillings, wheat about eight shillings, per bushel; oatmeal twelve shillings for an hundred and twenty pounds; mutton from three-pence to five-pence per pound; bacon, from seven-pence to nine-pence; cheese, from four-pence to six-pence; [Page 230] butter, from eight-pence to ten-pence; house-rent, for a poor man, from twenty-five shil­lings to forty shillings per year, to be paid weekly; wood, for fire, very scarce and dear; coal, in some places, two shillings and six-pence per hundred weight; but near the pits, not a quarter so much. O, may the wealthy consider the poor!

The wages of labouring men in several counties toward London, is ten-pence per day in common business, the employer finds small-beer, and the labourer finds his own food; but in harvest and hay time, wages is about one shilling per day, and the la­bourer hath all his diet. In some parts of the north of England, poor labouring men have their food where they work; and ap­pear, in common, to do rather better than nearer London: industrious women, who spin in the factories, get some four-pence, some five-pence, and so on to six, seven, eight, nine or ten-pence per day, and find their own house-room and diet. Great num­bers of poor people live chiefly on bread and water in the southern parts of England, and some in the northern parts; and there are many poor children not taught even to read. May those who have plenty, lay these things to heart!

Stage-coaches frequently go upwards of an hundred miles in twenty-four hours; and I have heard friends say, in several places, that it is common for horses to be killed with [Page 231] hard driving, and many others driven till they grow blind.

Post-boys pursue their business, each one to his stage, all night thro' the winter: some boys, who ride long stages, suffer greatly on winter nights; and, at several places, I have heard of their being froze to death. So great is the hurry in the spirit of this world, that in aiming to do business quick, and to gain wealth, the creation, at this day, doth loudly groan!

As my journey hath been without a horse, I have had several offers of being assisted on my way in these stage-coaches; but have not been in them: nor have I had freedom to send letters by these posts, in the present way of their riding; the stages being so fix­ed, and one boy dependant on another as to time, that they commonly go upward of one hundred miles in twenty-four hours; and in the cold long winter nights, the poor boys suffer much.

I heard in America of the way of these posts; and cautioned friends in the general meeting of ministers and elders at Philadel­phia, and in the yearly-meeting of ministers and elders at London, not to send letters to me on any common occasion by post. And though, on this account, I may be likely to hear seldomer from my family left behind; yet, for righteousness sake, I am, thro' di­vine favour, made content.

[Page 232] I have felt great distress of mind, since I came on this island, on account of the mem­bers of our society being mixed with the world in various sorts of business and traf­fick, carried on in impure channels. Great is the trade to Africa for slaves! and in load­ing these ships, abundance of people are em­ployed in the factories; amongst whom are many of our society. Friends, in early times, refused, on a religious principle, to make or trade in superfluities; of which, we have many large testimonies on record: but for want of faithfulness, some gave way; even some, whose examples were of note in our society; and from thence others took more liberty. Members of our society worked in superfluities, and bought and sold them; and thus dimness of sight came over many: at length, friends got into the use of some superfluities in dress, and in the furniture of their houses; and this hath spread from less to more, till superfluity of some kinds is common amongst us.

In this declining state, many look at the example one of another, and too much ne­glect the pure feeling of truth. Of late years, a deep exercise hath attended my mind, that friends may dig deep, may carefully cast forth the loose matter, and get down to the Rock, the sure foundation, and there hearken to that divine voice which gives a clear and certain sound; and I have felt in that which [Page 233] doth not deceive, that if friends, who have known the truth, keep in that tenderness of heart, where all views of outward gain are given up, and their trust is only on the Lord, he will graciously lead some to be pat­terns of deep self-denial in things relating to trade and handicraft labour; and that some, who have plenty of the treasures of this world, will example in a plain frugal life, and pay wages to such whom they may hire, more liberally than is now customary in some places.

The twenty-third day of the month, was this day at Preston-Patrick, and had a com­fortable meeting. I have, several times, been entertained at the houses of friends, who had sundry things about them which had the ap­pearance of outward greatness; and as I have kept inward, way hath opened for con­versation with such in private, in which di­vine goodness hath favoured us together, with heart-tendering times.

The twenty-sixth day of the month. Be­ing now at George Crosfields, in the county of Westmoreland, I feel a concern to com­mit to writing, that which to me hath been a case uncommon.

In a time of sickness with the pleurisy, a little upward of two years and a half ago, I was brought so near the gates of death, that I forgot my name: being then desirous to know who I was, I saw a mass of matter of a dull gloomy colour, between the south [Page 234] and the east; and was informed, that this mass was human beings in as great misery as they could be, and live; and that I was mixed in with them, and that henceforth I might not consider myself as a distinct or separate being. In this state I remained se­veral hours. I then heard a soft melodious voice, more pure and harmonious than any I had heard with my ears before; I believ­ed it was the voice of an angel, who spake to the other angels: the words were—John Woolman is dead. I soon remembered that I once was John Woolman; and being assured that I was alive in the body, I greatly won­dered what that heavenly voice could mean.

I believed, beyond doubting, that it was the voice of an holy angel; but, as yet, it was a mystery to me.

I was then carried in spirit to the mines, where poor oppressed people were digging rich treasures for those called christians; and heard them blaspheme the name of Christ, at which I was grieved; for his name to me was precious.

Then I was informed, that these hea­then were told, that those who oppressed them were the followers of Christ; and they said amongst themselves, If Christ directed them to use us in this sort, then Christ is a cruel tyrant.

All this time the song of the angel re­mained a mystery; and in the morning, my dear wife and some others coming to my bed­side, [Page 235] I asked them, if they knew who I was: and they telling me, I was John Woolman, thought I was light-headed: for I told them not what the angel said, nor was I disposed to talk much to any one; but was very de­sirous to get so deep, that I might under­stand this mystery.

My tongue was often so dry, that I could not speak till I had moved it about and gathered some moisture, and as I lay still for a time, at length I felt divine power pre­pare my mouth that I could speak; and then I said, ‘I am crucified with Christ, never­theless I live; yet not I, but Christ that liveth in me: and the life I now live in the flesh, is by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.’

Then the mystery was opened; and I per­ceived there was joy in heaven over a sinner who had repented; and that that language (John Woolman is dead) meant no more than the death of my own will.

Soon after this I coughed, and raised much bloody matter; which I had not done during this vision: and now my natural understand­ing returned as before.—Here I saw, that people getting silver vessels to set off their ta­bles at entertainments, was often stained with worldly glory; and that in the present state of things, I should take heed how I fed my­self from out of silver vessels.

Soon after my recovery, I, going to our monthly-meeting, dined at a friend's house [Page 236] where drink was brought in silver vessels, and not in any other; and I wanting some drink, told him my case with weeping: and he ordered some drink for me in another ves­sel.

The like I afterwards went through in several friend's houses in America, and have also in England, since I came here: and have cause, with humble reverence, to acknow­ledge the loving-kindness of my heavenly Father, who hath preserved me in such a tender frame of mind, that none, I believe, have ever been offended at what I have said on that occasion.

After this sickness, I spake not in publick meetings for worship for near one year; but my mind was very often in company with the oppressed slaves, as I sat in meetings: and tho', under this dispensation, I was shut up from speaking, yet the spring of the gos­pel ministry was, many times, livingly open­ed in me; and the divine gift operated by abundance of weeping, in feeling the op­pression of this people. It being so long since I passed thro' this dispensation, and the matter remaining fresh and livingly in my mind, I believe it safest for me to commit it to writing.

The thirtieth day of the month. This morning I wrote a letter, in substance as follows:

I rested a few days, in body and mind, with our friend Jane Crosfield; who was once in America: was, on the sixth day of the week, at Kendal in Westmoreland; and at Greyrig meeting the thirtieth day of the month, and first of the week.

I have known poverty of late; and been graciously supported to keep in the patience: and am thankful, under a sense of the good­ness of the Lord toward those that are of a contrite spirit.

The sixth day of the ninth month, and first of the week, was this day at Counter-side; a large meeting-house, and very full: and thro' the opening of pure love, it was [Page 239] a strengthening time to me, and (I believe) to many more.

The thirteenth day of the month. Was this day at Richmond, a small meeting; but the town's people coming in, the house was crowded: it was a time of heavy labour; and (I believe) was a profitable meeting.

At this place I heard that my kinsman William Hunt from North-Carolina, who was on a religious visit to friends in Eng­land, departed this life on the ninth day of the ninth month, instant, of the small-pox, at Newcastle.—He appeared in the ministry when a youth; and his labours therein were of good savor. He travelled much in that work in America. I once heard him say in public testimony, that his concern was (in that visit) to be devoted to the service of Christ so fully, that he might not spend one minute in pleasing himself: which words, joined with his example, was a means of stir­ring up the pure mind in me.

Having of late travelled often in wet wea­ther, thro' narrow streets in towns and vil­lages, where dirtiness under foot, and the scent arising from that filth, which more or less infects the air of all thick settled towns; and I being but weakly, have felt distress both in body and mind with that which is impure.

In these journies I have been where much cloth hath been dyed; and sundry times [Page 240] walked over ground, where much of their dye stuffs have drained away.

Here I have felt a longing in my mind, that people might come into cleanness of spi­rit, cleanness of person, cleanness about their houses and garments.

Some, who are great, carry delicacy to a great height themselves, and yet the real cleanliness is not generally promoted. Dyes being invented partly to please the eye, and partly to hide dirt, I have felt in this weak state, travelling in dirtiness and affected with unwholesome scents, a strong desire that the nature of dyeing cloth to hide dirt may be more fully considered.

To hide dirt in our garments, appears op­posite to real cleanliness.

To wash garments, and keep them sweet, this appears cleanly.

Thro' giving way to hiding dirt in our garments, a spirit which would cover that which is disagreeable, is strengthened.

Real cleanness becometh a holy people: but hiding that which is not clean by colour­ing our garments, appears contrary to the sweetness of sincerity.

Thro' some sorts of dyes, cloth is less use­ful; and if the value of dye-stuffs, the ex­pence of dyeing, and the damage done to cloth, were all added together, and that ex­pence applied to keep all sweet and clean, how much more cleanly would people be.

[Page 241] On this visit to England I have felt some instructions sealed on my mind, which I am concerned to leave in writing, for the use of such who are called to the station of a mini­ster of Christ.

Christ being the Prince of Peace, and we being no more than ministers, I find it ne­cessary for us, not only to feel a concern in our first going forth, but to experience the renewing thereof, in the appointment of meetings.

I felt a concern in America, to prepare for this voyage; and being through the mercy of God, brought safe here, my heart was like a vessel that wanted vent; and for seve­ral weeks at first, when my mouth was open­ed in meetings, it often felt like the raising of a gate in a water course, where a weight of water lay upon it; and in these labours there appeared a fresh visitation to many, especially the youth; but sometimes after this, I felt empty and poor, and yet felt a necessi­ty to appoint meetings.

In this state I was exercised to abide in the pure life of truth, and in all my labours to watch diligently against the motions of self in my own mind.

I have frequently felt a necessity to stand up, when the spring of the ministry was low, and to speak from the necessity, in that which subjecteth the will of the creature; and here­in I was united with the suffering seed, and found inward sweetness in these mortifying labours.

[Page 242] As I have been preserved in a watchful at­tention to the divine leader, under these dis­pensations, enlargement at times hath fol­lowed, and the power of truth hath rose high­er in some meetings, than I ever knew it be­fore through me.

Thus I have been more and more instruct­ed, as to the necessity of depending, not up­on a concern which I felt in America, to come on a visit to England; but upon the fresh in­structions of Christ the Prince of Peace, from day to day.

Now of late, I felt a stop in the appoint­ment of meetings, not wholly but in part; and I do not feel liberty to appoint them so quick one after another as I have heretofore.

The work of the ministry, being a work of divine love, I feel that the openings there­of are to be waited for, in all our appoint­ments.

Oh how deep is divine wisdom! Christ puts forth his ministers, and goeth before them; and oh how great is the danger of departing from the pure feeling of that which leadeth safely!

Christ knoweth the state of the people, and in the pure feeling of the gospel ministry, their states are opened to his servants.

Christ knoweth when the fruit-bearing branches themselves have need of purging.

Oh that these lessons may be remembered by me! and that all who appoint meetings, may proceed in the pure feeling of duty.

[Page 243] I have sometimes felt a necessity to stand up, but that spirit which is of the world hath so much prevailed in many, and the pure life of truth been so pressed down, that I have gone forward, not as one travelling in a road cast up, and well prepared, but as a man walking through a miry place, in which are stones here and there, safe to step on; but so situated that one step being taken, time is necessary to see where to step next.

Now I find that in the pure obedience, the mind learns contentment, in appearing weak and foolish to that wisdom which is of the world; and in these lowly labours, they who stand in a low place, rightly exercised under the cross, will find nourishment.

The gift is pure, and while the eye is sin­gle in attending thereto, the understanding is preserved clear; self is kept out; we rejoice in filling up that which remains of the af­flictions of Christ, for his body's sake, which is the church.

The natural man loveth eloquence, and many love to hear eloquent orations; and if there is not a careful attention to the gift, men who have once labour'd in the pure gos­pel ministry, growing weary of suffering, and ashamed of appearing weak, may kindle a fire, compass themselves about with sparks, and walk in the light; not of Christ who is under suffering; but of that fire, which they, going from the gift, have kindled: And that in hearers, which is gone from the meek suf­fering state, into the worldly wisdom, may [Page 244] be warmed with this fire, and speak highly of these labours. That which is of God ga­thers to God; and that which is of the world is owned by the world.

In this journey a labour hath attended my mind, that the ministers amongst us may be preserved in the meek feeling life of truth, where we may have no desire, but to follow Christ and be with him; that when he is un­der suffering we may suffer with him; and never desire to rise up in dominion, but as he by the virtue of his own spirit may raise us.

A few days after writing these considerati­ons, our dear friend in the course of his reli­gious visits, came to the city of York, and attended most of the sittings of the quarterly meeting there; but before it was over, was taken ill of the small-pox. Our friend Tho­mas Priestman and others who attended him, preserved the following minutes of his expres­sions in the time of his sickness, and of his decease.

1st day, the 27th of the 9th month 1772. His disorder appeared to be the small-pox: being asked to have a doctor's advice, he sig­nified he had not freedom or liberty in his mind so to do, standing wholly resigned to his will, who gave him life, and whose pow­er he had witnessed to raise and heal him in sickness before, when he seemed nigh unto death; and if he was to wind up now, he [Page 245] was perfectly resigned, having no will either to live or die, and did not choose any should be sent for to him: but a young man, an apothecary, coming of his own accord the next day, and desiring to do something for him, he said he found a freedom to confer with him and the other friends about him, and if any thing should be proposed, as to medicine that did not come thro' defiled chan­nels or oppressive hands, he should be wil­ling to consider and take it, so far as he found freedom.

2d day. He said he felt the disorder to af­fect his head, so that he could think little, and but as a child; and desired if his under­standing should be more affected, to have nothing given him that those about knew he had a testimony against.

Third-day he uttered the following pray­er.—O Lord my God, the amazing hor­rors of darkness were gathered around me and covered me all over, and I saw no way to go forth; I felt the depth and extent of the misery of my fellow creatures separated from the divine harmony, and it was heavi­er than I could bear, and I was crushed down under it, I lifted up my hand, I stretched out my arm, but there was none to help me; I looked round about and was amazed; in the depths of misery, O Lord! I remembered that thou art omnipotent, that I had called thee Father, and I felt that I loved thee, and I was made quiet in thy will, and I waited for deliverance from thee; thou hadst pity [Page 246] upon me when no man could help me; I saw that meekness under suffering was shewed to us in the most affecting example of thy Son, and thou taught me to follow him, and I said "thy will O Father be done."

Fourth day morning, being asked how he felt himself, he meekly answered, I don't know that I have slept this night, I feel the disorder making its progress, but my mind is mercifully preserved in stillness and peace: sometime after he said he was sensible the pains of death must be hard to bear, but if he escaped them now, he must sometime pass thro' them, and he did not know that he could be better prepared, but had no will in it. He said he had settled his outward af­fairs to his mind, had taken leave of his wife and family as never to return, leaving them to the divine protection; adding, and tho' I feel them near to me at this time, yet I freely give them up, having a hope that they will be provided for. And a little after said, This trial is made easier than I could have thought, my will being wholly taken away; for if I was anxious for the event it would have been harder, but I am not, and my mind enjoys a perfect calm.

In the night a young woman having given him something to drink, he said, My child thou seems very kind to me a poor creature, the Lord will reward thee for it. A while af­ter he cried out with great earnestness of spirit, Oh my Father! my Father! and soon after he said, Oh my Father! my Father! [Page 247] how comfortable art thou to my soul in this trying season. Being asked if he could take a little nourishment; after some pause he re­plied, my child I cannot tell what to say to it; I seem nearly arrived where my soul shall have rest from all its troubles. After giving in something to be inserted in his journal, he said, I believe the Lord will now excuse me from exercises of this kind; and I see no work but one which is to be the last wrought by me in this world, the messenger will come that will release me from all these troubles; but it must be in the Lord's time, which I am waiting for. He said he had laboured to do whatever was required, according to the ability received, in the remembrance of which he had peace; and tho' the disorder was strong at times, and would like a whirl­wind come over his mind; yet it had hither­to been kept steady and center'd in everlast­ing love; adding, and if that be mercifully continued, I ask nor desire no more. An­other time he said, he had long had a view of visiting this nation, and sometime before he came had a dream, in which he saw himself in the northern parts of it, and that the spring of the gospel was opened in him much as in the beginning of friends, such as George Fox and William Dewsberry, and he saw the different states of the people, as clear as he had ever seen flowers in a garden; but in his going along he was suddenly stopt, tho' he could not see for what end; but [Page 248] looking towards home, fell into a flood of tears which waked him.

At another time he said, my draught seem­ed strongest towards the North, and I men­tioned in my own monthly-meeting, that attending the quarterly-meeting at York, and being there looked like home to me.

Fifth-day night, having repeatedly con­sented to take medicine with a view to settle his stomach, but without effect; the friend then waiting on him, said thro' distress, what shall I do now? He answered with great composure, Rejoice ever more, and in every thing give thanks; but added a little after, this is sometimes hard to come at.

Sixth-day morning he broke forth early in supplication on this wise, O Lord it was thy power that enabled me to forsake sin in my youth, and I have felt thy bruises for dis­obedience; but as I bowed under them thou healed me, continuing a father and a friend; I feel thy power now, and I beg that in the approaching trying moment Thou wilt keep my heart stedfast unto thee. Upon his giv­ing directions to a friend concerning some little things, she said I will take care, but hope thou wilt live to order them thyself; he reply'd, my hope is in Christ, and tho' I may seem a little better, a change in the dis­order may soon happen, and my little strength be dissolved, and if it so happens, I shall be gathered to my everlasting rest. On her say­ing she did not doubt that, but could not help mourning to see so many faithful ser­vants [Page 249] removed at so low a time; he said all good cometh from the Lord, whose power is the same, and can work as he sees best. The same day he had given directions about wrapping his corpse; perceiving a friend to weep, he said I would rather thou wouldst guard against weeping for me, my sister, I sorrow not, tho' I have had some painful con­flicts, but now they seem over and matters well settled, and I took at the face of my dear redeemer, for sweet is his voice and his countenance is comely.

First-day, fourth of the tenth month, being very weak and in general difficult to be un­derstood, he uttered a few words in comme­moration of the Lord's goodness; and add­ed, how tenderly have I been waited on in this time of affliction, in which I may say in Job's words, Tedious days and wearisome nights are appointed unto me, and how ma­ny are spending their time and money in vanity and superfluities, while thousands and tens of thousands want the necessaries of life, who might be relieved by them, and their distresses at such a time as this, in some degree softened by the administring suitable things.

Second-day morning the apothecary who appeared very anxious to assist him, being present, he queried about the probability of such a load of matter being thrown off his weak body, and the apothecary making some remarks implying he thought it might; he spoke with an audible voice on this wise, [Page 250] My dependance is on the Lord Jesus, who I trust will forgive my sins, which is all I hope for, and if it be his will to raise up this body again, I am content; and if to die, I and re­signed; and if thou canst not be easy with­out trying to assist nature, I submit: after which his throat was so much affected, that it was very difficult for him to speak so as to be understood, and frequently wrote when he wanted any thing. About the second hour on fourth-day morning he asked for pen and ink, and at several times with much difficulty wrote thus, I believe my being here is in the wisdom of Christ, I know not as to life or death.

About a quarter before six the same morn­ing he seemed to fall into an easy sleep, which continued about half an hour, when seeming to awake, he breathed a few times with more difficulty, and expired without sigh, groan, or struggle.

CHAP. I.
On loving our Neighbours as ourselves.

WHEN we love the Lord with all our hearts, and his creatures in his love, we are then preserved in ten­derness both toward mankind and the animal creation; but if another spirit gets room in our minds, and we follow it in our proceed­ings, we are then in the way of disordering the affairs of society.

If a man successful in business expends part of his income in things of no real use, while the poor employed by him pass through great difficulties in getting the necessaries of life, this requires his serious attention.

[Page 383] If several principal men in business unite in setting the wages of those who work for hire, and therein have regard to a profit to themselves answerable to unnecessary expence in their families, while the wages of the others on a moderate industry will not afford a com­fortable living for their families, and a pro­per education for their children; this is like laying a temptation in the way of some to strive for a place higher than they are in, when they have not stock sufficient for it.

Now I feel a concern in the spring of pure love, that all who have plenty of outward substance, may example others in the right use of things; may carefully look into the condition of poor people, and beware of ex­acting on them with regard to their wages.

While hired labourers, by moderate in­dustry, through the divine blessing, may live comfortably, raise up families, and give them suitable education, it appears reasonable for them to be content with their wages.

If they who have plenty, love their fellow creatures in that love which is divine, and in all their proceedings have an equal regard to the good of mankind universally, their place in society is a place of care, an office requir­ing attention, and the more we possess, the greater is our trust, and with an increase of treasure, an increase of care becomes neces­sary.

When our will is subject to the will of God, and in relation to the things of this world, we have nothing in view, but a comfortable [Page 384] living equally with the rest of our fellow creatures, then outward treasures are no far­ther desirable than as we feel a gift in our minds equal to the trust, and strength to act as dutiful children in his service, who hath formed all mankind, and appointed a sub­sistence for us in this world.

A desire for treasures on any other motive, appears to be against that command of our blessed Saviour, ‘Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth, Mat. vi. 19.’

He forbids not laying up in the summer against the wants of winter; nor doth he teach us to be slothful in that which properly relates to our being in this world; but in this prohibition he puts in yourselves ‘Lay not up for yourselves treasures here on earth.’

Now in the pure light, this language is understood, for in the love of Christ there is no respect of persons; and while we abide in his love, we live not to ourselves, but to him who died for us. And as we are thus united in spirit to Christ, we are engaged to labour in promoting that work in the earth for which he suffered.

In this state of mind our desires are, that every honest member in society may have a portion of treasure, and share of trust, an­swerable to that gift, with which our hea­venly Father hath gifted us.

[Page 385] A pious man is content to do a share of business in society, answerable to the gif [...]s with which he is endowed, while the chan­nels of business are free from unrighteous­ness, but is careful lest at any time his heart be overcharged.

In the harmonious spirit of society ‘Christ is all in all,’ Col. iii. 11.

Here it is that ‘old things are past away, all things are new, all things are of God,’ 2 Cor. v. 17, 18. and the desire for outward riches is at an end.

They of low degree who have small gifts, enjoy their help who have large gifts; those with their small gifts, have a small degree of care, while these with their large gifts, have a large degree of care: and thus to abide in the love of Christ, and enjoy a comfortable living in this world is all that is aimed at by those members in society, to whom Christ is made wisdom and righteousness.

But when they who have much treasure, are not faithful stewards of the gifts of God, great difficulties attend it.

Now this matter hath deeply affected my mind. The Lord, through merciful chastise­ments, hath given me a feeling of that love, in which the harmony of society standeth, and a sight of the growth of that seed which bringeth forth wars and great calamities in the world, and a labour attends me to open it to others.

Now to act with integrity, according to that strength of mind and body with which [Page 386] our creator hath endowed each of us, appears necessary for all, and he who thus stands in the lowest station, appears to be entitled to as comfortable and convenient a living, as he whose gifts of mind are greater, and whose cares are more extensive.

If some endowed with strong understand­ings as men, abide not in the harmonious state, in which we ‘love our neighbours as ourselves,’ but walk in that spirit in which the children of this world are wise in their generation; these by the strength of contri­vance may sometimes gather great treasure, but the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God; and if we gather treasures in worldly wisdom, we lay up ‘treasures for ourselves;’ and great treasures managed in any other spirit, than the spirit of truth, disordereth the affairs of society, for hereby the good gifts of God in this outward crea­tion are turned into the channels of worldly honour, and frequently applied to support luxury, while the wages of poor labourers are such, that with moderate industry and frugality they may not live comfortably, raise up families, and give them suitable educati­on, but through the streightness of their con­dition, are often drawn on to labour under weariness, to toil through hardships them­selves, and frequently to oppress those useful animals with which we are entrusted.

From age to age, throughout all ages, di­vine love is that alone, in which dominion has been, is, and will be rightly conducted.

[Page 387] In this the endowments of men are so em­ployed, that the friend and the governor are united in one, and oppressive customs come to an end.

Riches in the hands of individuals in so­ciety, is attended with some degree of power; and so far as power is put forth separate from pure love, so far the government of the Prince of Peace is interrupted; and as we know not that our children after us will dwell in that state in which power is rightly applied, to lay up riches for them appears to be against the nature of his government.

The earth, through the labour of men un­der the blessing of him who formed it, yield­eth a supply for the inhabitants from gene­ration to generation, and they who walk in the pure light, their minds are prepared to taste and relish not only those blessings which are spiritual, but also feel a sweetness and sa­tisfaction in a right use of the good gifts of God in the visible creation.

Here we see that man's happiness stands not in great possessions, but in a heart de­voted to follow Christ; in that use of things, where customs contrary to universal love have no power over us.

In this state our hearts are prepared to trust in God, and our desires for our children and posterity are, that they, with the rest of man­kind, in ages to come, may be of that num­ber, of whom he hath said, ‘I will be a father to them, and they shall be my sons and daughter,’ 2 Cor. vi. 18.

[Page 388] When wages in a fruitful land bear so small a proportion to the necessaries of life, that poor honest people who have families cannot by a moderate industry attain to a comfort­able living, and give their children sufficient learning, but must either labour to a degree of oppression, or else omit that which appears to be a duty.

While this is the case with the poor, there is an inclination in the minds of most people, to prepare at least so much treasure for their children, that they with care and moderate industry may live free from these hardships which the poor pass through.

Now this subject requireth our serious con­sideration: to labour that our children may be put in a way to live comfortably, appears in itself to be a duty, so long as these our labours are consistent with universal righte­ousness; but if in striving to shun poverty, we do not walk in that state where ‘Christ is our life, then we wander; He that hath the Son, hath life, 1 John v. 12. This life is the light of men,’ John i. 4. If we walk not in this light, we walk in darkness, and ‘he that walketh in darkness, knoweth not whither he goeth,’ John xii. 35.

To keep to right means in labouring to attain a right end is necessary: if in striving to shun poverty, we strive only in that state, where Christ is the light of our life, our la­bours will stand in the true harmony of so­ciety; but if people are confident that the [Page 389] end aimed at is good, and in this confidence pursue it so eagerly, as not to wait for the spirit of truth to lead them, then they come to loss. ‘Christ is given to be a leader and commander of the people,’ Isaiah lv. 4. Again; ‘The Lord shall guide thee conti­nually, Isaiah lviii. 12. Again; Lord, thou wilt ordain peace for us, for thou also hast wrought all our works in us.’ Isaiah xxvi. 12.

‘In the Lord have we righteousness and strength,’ Isaiah xlv. 24.

In this state our minds are preserved watch­ful in following the leadings of his spirit in all our proceedings in this world, and a care is felt for a reformation in general; that our own posterity, with the rest of mankind in succeeding ages, may not be entangled by oppressive customs, transmitted to them through our hands: but if people in the narrowness of natural love, are afraid that their children will be oppressed by the rich, and through an eager desire to get treasures, depart from the pure leadings of truth in one case, though it may seem to be a small mat­ter, yet the mind even in that small matter may be emboldened to continue in a way of proceeding, without waiting for the divine Leader.

Thus people may grow expert in business, wise in the wisdom of this world, retain a fair reputation amongst men, and yet being strangers to the voice of Christ, the safe lead­er of his flock, the treasures thus gotten, [Page 390] may be like snares to the feet of their poste­rity.

Now to keep faithful to the pure counsel­lor, and under trying circumstances suffer adversity for righteousness sake, in this there is a reward.

If we, being poor, are hardly dealt with by those who are rich, and under this diffi­culty are frugal and industrious, and in true humility open our case to them who oppress us, this may reach the pure witness in their minds; and though we should remain under difficulties as to the outward, yet if we abide in the love of Christ, all will work for our good.

When we feel what it is to suffer in the true suffering state, then we experience the truth of those expressions, that, ‘as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation aboundeth by Christ,’ 2 Cor. i. 5.

But if poor people who are hardly dealt with, do not attain to the true suffering state, do not labour in true love with those who deal hardly with them, but envy their out­ward greatness, murmur in their hearts be­cause of their own poverty, and strive in the wisdom of this world to get riches for them­selves and their children; this is like wan­dering in the dark.

If we who are of a middle station between riches and poverty, are affected at times with the oppressions of the poor, and feel a tender regard for our posterity after us; O how ne­cessary [Page 391] is it that we wait for the pure counsel of truth!

Many have seen the hardships of the poor, felt an eager desire that their children may be put in a way to escape these hardships; but how few have continued in that pure love which openeth our understandings to proceed rightly under these difficulties!

How few have faithfully followed that ho­ly Leader who prepares his people to labour for the restoration of true harmony amongst our fellow-creatures!

‘In the pure gospel spirit we walk by faith and not by sight,’ 2 Cor. v. 7.

In the obedience of faith we die to the nar­rowness of self-love, and our life being hid with Christ in God, our hearts are enlarged toward mankind universally; but in depart­ing from the true light of life, many in striving to get treasures have stumbled upon the dark mountains.

Now that purity of life which proceeds from faithfulness in following the spirit of truth, that state where our minds are devot­ed to serve God, and all our wants are bound­ed by his wisdom, this habitation has often been opened before me as a place of retire­ment for the children of the light, where we may stand separated from that which dis­ordereth and confuseth the affairs of society, and where we may have a testimony of our innocence in the hearts of those who behold us.

[Page 392] Through departing from the truth as it is in Jesus, through introducing ways of life attended with unnecessary expences, many wants have arisen, the minds of people have been employed in studying to get wealth, and in this pursuit some departing from equity, have retained a profession of religion; others have looked at their example, and thereby been strengthened to proceed further in the same way: thus many have encouraged the trade of taking men from Africa, and selling them as slaves.

It hath been computed that near one hun­dred thousand Negroes have of late years been taken annually from that coast, by ships employed in the English trade.

As I have travelled on religious visits in some parts of America, I have seen many of these people under the command of overseers, in a painful servitude.

I have beheld them as Gentiles under peo­ple professing christianity, not only kept ig­norant of the holy scriptures, but under great provocations to wrath; of whom it may truly be said, ‘They that rule over them make them to howl, and the holy Name is abundantly blasphemed,’ Isaiah lii. 5. Where children are taught to read the sacred writings, while young, and exampled in meekness and humility, it is often helpful to them; nor is this any more than a debt due from us to a succeeding age.

But where youth are pinched for want of the necessaries of life, forced to labour hard [Page 393] under the harsh rebukes of rigorous over­seers, and many times endur [...] unmerciful whippings: in such an education, how great are the disadvantages they lie under! And how forcibly do these things work against the increase of the government of the Prince of Peace!

Humphrey Smith, in his works, p. 125, speaking of the tender feelings of the love of God in his heart when he was a child, said, "By the violent wrathful nature that ruled in others, was my quietness disturbed, and anger begotten in me toward them, yet that of God in me was not wholly overcome, but his love was felt in my heart, and great was my grief when the earthly-mindedness and wrathful nature so provoked me, that I was estranged from it."

"And this I write as a warning to pa­rents and others, that in the fear of the liv­ing God, you may train up the youth, and may not be a means of bringing them into such alienation."

Many are the vanities and luxuries of the present age, and in labouring to support a way of living conformable to the present world, the departure from that wisdom that is pure and peaceable, hath been great.

Under the sense of a deep revolt, and an overflowing stream of unrighteousness, my life has been often a life of mourning, and tender desires are raised in me, that the na­ture of this practice may be laid to heart.

[Page 394] I have read some books wrote by people who were acquainted with the manner of getting slaves in Africa.

I have had verbal relations of this nature from several Negroes brought from Africa, who have learned to talk English.

I have sundry times heard Englishmen speak on this subject, who have been in A­frica on this business; and from all these ac­counts it appears evident that great violence is committed, and much blood shed in A­frica in getting slaves.

When three or four hundred slaves are put in the hold of a vessel in a hot climate, their breathing soon affects the air. Were that number of free people to go passengers with all things proper for their voyage, there would inconvenience arise from their num­ber; but slaves are taken by violence, and frequently endeavour to kill the white peo­ple, that they may return to their native land. Hence they are frequenty kept under such a sort of confinement, by means of which a scent ariseth in the hold of a ship, and dis­tempers often break out amongst them, of which many die. Of this tainted air in the hold of ships freighted with slaves, I have had several accounts, some in print, and some verbal, and all agree that the scent is griev­ous. When these people are sold in America, and in the islands, they are made to labour in a manner more servile and constant, than that which they were used to at home, that [Page 395] with grief, with different diet from what has been common with them, and with hard la­bour, some thousands are computed to die every year, in what is called the seasoning.

Thus it appears evident, that great num­bers of these people are brought every year to an untimely end; many of them being such who never injured us.

Where the innocent suffer under hard-hearted men, even unto death, and the chan­nels of equity are so obstructed, that the cause of the sufferers is not judged in righte­ousness, "the land is polluted with blood," Numb. xxxv. 33.

Where blood hath been shed unrighteously, and remains unattoned for, the cry thereof is very piercing.

Under the humbling dispensations of divine Providence, this cry hath deeply affected my heart, and I feel a concern to open, as I may be enabled, that which lieth heavy on my mind.

When ‘the iniquity of the house of Israel and of Judah was exceeding great, when the land was defiled with blood, and the city full of perversness, Ezek. ix. 9. Some were found sighing and crying for the abominations of the times,’ Ezek. ix. 4. and such who live under a right feeling of our condition as a nation, these I trust will be sensible that the Lord at this day doth call to mourning, though many are ignorant of it. So powerful are bad customs when they become general, that people growing bold [Page 396] thro' the examples one of another, have often been unmoved at the most serious warnings.

Our blessed Saviour speaking of the people of the old world, said, ‘They eat, they drank, they married, and were given in marriage, until the day that Noah went into the ark, and the flood came and de­stroyed them all,’ Luke xvii. 27.

The like he spake concerning the people of Sodom, who are also represented by the pro­phet as haughty, luxurious, and oppressive; ‘This was the sin of Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was found in her, and in her daughters; nei­ther did she strengthen the hands of the poor and needy,’ Ezek. xvi. 49.

Now in a revolt so deep as this, when much blood has been shed unrighteously, in carrying on the slave-trade, and in support­ing the practice of keeping slaves, which at this day is unattoned for, and crieth from the earth, and from the seas against the op­pressor!

While this practice is continued, and un­der a great load of guilt there is more un­righteousness committed, the state of things is very moving!

There is a love which stands in nature, and a parent beholding his child in misery hath a feeling of the affliction; but in divine love the heart is enlarged towards mankind universally, and prepared to sympathise with strangers, though in the lowest stations in life.

[Page 397] Of this the prophet appears to have had a feeling, when he said, ‘Have we not all one Father? Hath not one God created us? Why then do we deal treacherously every man with his brother, in prophaning the covenant of our fathers?’ Mal. ii. 10.

He who of old heard the groans of the children of Israel under the hard task-masters in Egypt, I trust hath looked down from his holy habitation on the miseries of these deep­ly oppressed people. Many lives have been shortned through extreme oppression, while they laboured to support luxury and worldly greatness; and tho' many people in outward prosperity may think little of those things, yet the gracious Creator hath regard to the cries of the innocent, however unnoticed by men.

The Lord in the riches of his goodness is leading some into the feeling of the condition of this people, who cannot rest without la­bouring as their advocates; of which in some measure I have had experience, for, in the movings of his love in my heart, these poor sufferers have been brought near to me.

The unoffending aged and infirm made to labour too hard, kept on a diet less com­fortable than their weak state required, and exposed to great difficulties under hard-heart­ed men, to whose sufferings I have often been a witness, and under the heart-melting power of divine love, their misery hath felt to me like the misery of my parents.

[Page 398] Innocent youth taken by violence from their native land, from their friends and ac­quaintance; put on board ships with hearts laden with sorrow; exposed to great hard­ships at sea; placed under people, where their lives have been attended with great provoca­tion to anger and revenge.

With the condition of these youth, my mind hath often been affected, as with the afflictions of my children, and in a feeling of the misery of these people, and of that great offence which is ministered to them, my tears have been often poured out before the Lord.

That holy Spirit which affected my heart when I was a youth, I trust is often felt by the Negroes in their native land, inclining their minds to that which is righteous, and had the professed followers of Christ in all their conduct toward them, manifested a dis­position answerable to the pure principle in their hearts, how might the holy Name have been honoured amongst the Gentiles, and how might we have rejoiced in the fulfilling of that prophecy, ‘I the Lord love judg­ment, I hate robbery for burnt-offerings, and I will direct their work in truth, and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their seed shall be known amongst the Gentiles, and their offspring amongst the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord hath blessed,’ Isaiah lxi. 8, 9.

[Page 399] But in the present state of things, how contrary is this practice to that meek spirit, in which our Saviour laid down his life for us, that all the ends of the earth might know salvation in his name!

How are the sufferings of our blessed Re­deemer set at nought, and his name blas­phemed amongst the Gentiles, through the unrighteous proceedings of his professed fol­lowers!

My mind hath often been affected, even from the days of my youth, under a sense of that marvellous work, for which God, in in­finite goodness, sent his Son into the world.

The opening of that spring of living wa­ters, which the true believers in Christ ex­perience, by which they are redeemed from pride and covetousness, and brought into a state of meekness, where their hearts are en­larged in true love toward their fellow crea­tures universally; this work to me has been precious, and the spreading the knowledge of the truth amongst the Gentiles been very de­sirable. And the professed followers of Christ joining in customs evidently unrighteous, which manifestly tend to stir up wrath, and increase wars and desolations, hath often co­vered my mind with sorrow.

If we bring this matter home, and as Job proposed to his friends, ‘Put our soul in their soul's stead,’ Job xvi. 4.

If we consider ourselves and our children as exposed to the hardships which these peo­ple [Page 400] lie under in supporting an imaginary greatness.

Did we in such case behold an increase of luxury and superfluity amongst our oppres­sors, and therewith felt an increase of the weight of our burdens, and expected our po­sterity to groan under oppression after us.

Under all this misery, had we none to plead our cause, nor any hope of relief from man, how would our cries ascend to the God of the spirits of all flesh, who judgeth the world in righteousness, and in his own time is a refuge for the oppressed!

If they who thus afflicted us, continued to lay claim to religion, and were assisted in their business by others, esteemed pious peo­ple, who through a friendship with them strengthened their hands in tyranny.

In such a state, when we were hunger-bit­ten, and could not have sufficient nourish­ment, but saw them in fulness pleasing their taste with things fetched from far:

When we were wearied with labour, deni­ed the liberty to rest, and saw them spending their time at case: when garments answer­able to our necessities were denied us, while we saw them cloathed in that which was costly and delicate:

Under such affliction, how would these painful feelings rise up as witnesses against their pretended devotion! And if the name of their religion was mentioned in our hear­ing, how would it sound in our ears like a [Page 401] word which signified self-exaltation, and hardness of heart!

When a trade is carried on, productive of much misery, and they who suffer by it are some thousand miles off, the danger is the greater, of not laying their sufferings to heart.

In procuring slaves on the coast of Africa, many children are stolen privately; wars also are encouraged amongst the Negroes, but all is at a great distance.

Many groans arise from dying men, which we hear not.

Many cries are uttered by widows and fa­therless children, which reach not our ears.

Many cheeks are wet with tears, and faces sad with unutterable grief, which we see not.

Cruel tyranny is encouraged. The hands of robbers are strengthened, and thousands reduced to the most abject slavery, who ne­ver injured us.

Were we for the term of one year only to be eye-witnesses to what passeth in getting these slaves:

Was the blood which is there shed to be sprinkled on our garments:

Were the poor captives bound with thongs, heavy laden with elephants teeth, to pass be­fore our eyes on their way to the sea:

Were their bitter lamentations day after day to ring in our ears, and their mournful cries in the night to hinder us from sleep­ing:

[Page 402] Were we to hear the sound of the tumult when the slaves on board the ships attempt to kill the English, and behold the issue of those bloody conflicts:

What pious man could be a witness to these things, and see a trade carried on in this manner, without being deeply affected with sorrow?

Through abiding in the love of Christ we feel a tenderness in our hearts toward our fellow-creatures, entangled in oppressive cus­toms; and a concern so to walk, that our conduct may not be a means of strengthening them in error.

It was the command of the Lord through Moses, ‘Thou shalt not suffer sin upon thy brother: thou shalt in anywise rebuke thy brother, and shalt not suffer sin upon him.’ Lev. xix. 17.

Again; ‘Keep far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not.’ Exod. xxiii. 7.

The prophet Isaiah mentions oppression as that which the true church in time of out­ward quiet should not only be clear of, but should be far from it; ‘Thou shalt be far from oppression.’ Isaiah liv. 14. Now these words, far from, appear to have an ex­tensive meaning, and to convey instruction in regard to that of which Solomon speaks, ‘Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not go unpunished.’ Prov. xvi. 5.

It was a complaint against one of old, ‘When thou sawest a thief, thou consent­edst with him.’ Psal. l, 18.

[Page 403] The prophet Jeremiah represents the de­grees of preparation toward idolatrous sacri­fice, in the similitude of a work carried on by children, men, and women. ‘The children gather wood, the fathers kindle the fire, and the women knead the dough to bake cakes for the queen of heaven.’ Jer. vii. 18.

It was a complaint of the Lord against Is­rael, through his prophet Ezekiel, that ‘they strengthened the hands of the wicked, and made the hearts of the righteous sad.’ Ezek. xiii. 12.

Some works of iniquity carried on by the people were represented by the prophet Hosea, in the similitude of ploughing, reaping, and eating the fruit; ‘You have ploughed wick­edness, reaped iniquity, eaten the fruit of lying, because thou didst trust in thy own way, to the multitude of thy mighty men.’ Hosea x. 13.

I have felt great distress of mind since I came on this island, on account of the mem­bers of our society being mixed with the world in various sorts of business and traffic, carried on in impure channels. Great is the trade to Africa for slaves; and in loading these ships abundance of people are employed in the manufactories.

Friends in early time refused, on a religi­ous principle, to make or trade in superflui­ties, of which we have many large testimo­nies on record, but for want of faithfulness some gave way, even some whose examples [Page 404] were of note in society, and from thence o­thers took more liberty: members of our so­ciety worked in superfluities, and bought and sold them, and thus dimness of sight came over many. At length, friends got into the use of some superfluities in dress, and in the furniture of their houses, and this hath spread from less to more, till superfluity of some kinds is common amongst us.

In this declining state many look at the example one of another, and too much ne­glect the pure feeling of truth. Of late years a deep exercise hath attended my mind, that friends may dig deep, may carefully cast forth the loose matter, and get down to the rock, the sure foundation, and there hearken to that divine voice which gives a clear and cer­tain sound.

And I have felt in that which doth not de­ceive, that if friends who have known the truth, keep in that tenderness of heart, where all views of outward gain are given up, and their trust is only on the Lord, he will gra­ciously lead some to be patterns of deep self-denial, in things relating to trade, and han­dicraft labour; and that some who have plenty of the treasures of this world, will ex­ample in a plain frugal life, and pay wages to such whom they may hire, more liberally than is now customary in some places.

The prophet, speaking of the true church, said, ‘Thy people also shall be all righte­ous.’

Of the depth of this divine work several have spoken.

[Page 405] John Gratton, in his journal, p. 45, said, "The Lord is my portion, I shall not want. He hath wrought all my works in me. I am nothing but what I am in him."

Gilbert Latey, through the powerful ope­rations of the spirit of Christ in his soul, was brought to that depth of self-denial, that he could not join with that proud spirit in other people, which inclined them to want vanities and superfluities. This friend was often a­mongst the chief rulers of the nation in times of persecution, and it appears by the testi­mony of friends, that his dwelling was so e­vidently in the pure life of truth, that in his visits to those great men, he found a place in their minds; and that king James the second, in the times of his troubles, made particular mention in a very respectful manner of what Gilbert once said to him.

The said Gilbert found a concern to write an epistle, in which are these expressions; "Fear the Lord, ye men of all sorts, trades, and callings, and leave off all the evil that is in them, for the Lord is grieved with all the evils used in your employments which you are exercised in."

"It is even a grief to see how you are ser­vants to sin, and instruments of Satan." See his works, p. 42, &c.

George Fox, in an epistle, writes thus: "Friends, stand in the eternal power of God, witnesses against the pomps and vani­ties of this world."

[Page 406] "Such tradesmen who stand as witnesses in the power of God, cannot fulfil the peo­ple's minds in these vanities, and therefore they are offended at them."

"Let all trust in the Lord, and wait pa­tiently on him; for when truth first broke forth in London, many tradesmen could not take so much money in their shops for some time, as would buy them bread and water, because they withstood the world's ways, fashions, and customs; yet by their patient waiting on the Lord in their good life and conversation, they answered the truth in peo­ple's hearts, and thus their business increas­ed." Book of Doctrinals, p. 824.

Now Christ our holy leader graciously con­tinueth to open the understandings of his people, and as circumstances alter from age to age, some who are deeply baptized into a feeling of the state of things, are led by his holy spirit into exercises in some respect dif­ferent from those which attended the faithful in foregoing ages, and through the constrain­ings of pure love, are engaged to open the feelings they have to others.

In faithfully following Christ, the heart is weaned from the desire of riches, and we are led into a life so plain and simple, that a little doth suffice, and thus the way openeth to deny ourselves, under all the tempting al­lurements of that gain, which we know is the gain of unrighteousness.

The apostle speaking on this subject, ask­eth, [Page 407] this question; ‘What fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?’ 2 Cor. vi. 14. And again saith, ‘Have no fellow­ship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them,’ Ephes. v. 11. Again, ‘Be not partaker of other men's sins, keep thyself pure.’ 1 Tim. v. 22.

Where people through the power of Christ are thoroughly settled in a right use of things, freed from all unnecessary care and expence, the mind in this true resignation is at liberty from the bands of a narrow self-interest, to attend from time to time on the movings of his spirit upon us, though he leads into that, through which our faith is closely tried.

The language of Christ is pure, and to the pure in heart, this pure language is intelligi­ble; but in the love of money, the mind be­ing intent on gain, is too full of human con­trivance to attend to it.

It appeareth evident, that some channels of trade are defiled with unrighteousness, that the minds of many are intent on getting treasures to support a life, in which there are many unnecessary expences.

And I feel a living concern attend my mind, that under these difficulties we may humbly follow our heavenly shepherd, who graciously regardeth his flock, and is willing and able to supply us both inwardly and out­wardly with clean provender, that hath been winnowed with the shovel and the fan, where we may ‘sow to ourselves in righteousness, [Page 408] reap in mercy,’ Hosea x. 12. and not be defiled with the works of iniquity.

Where customs contrary to pure wisdom are transmitted to posterity, it appears to be an injury committed against them; and I often feel tender compassion toward a young generation, and desires that their difficulties may not be increased through unfaithfulness in us of the present age.

CHAP. II.
On a Sailor's Life.

IN the trade to Africa for slaves, and in the management of ships going on these voy­ages, many of our lads and young men have a considerable part of their education.

Now what pious father beholding his son placed in one of these ships, to learn the prac­tice of a mariner, could forbear mourning over him?

Where youth are exampled in means of getting money, so full of violence, and used to exercise such cruelties on their fellow-crea­tures, the disadvantage to them in their edu­cation is very great.

But I feel it in my mind to write concern­ing the seafaring life in general.

In the trade carried on from the West-In­dies, and from some parts of the continent, [Page 409] the produce of the labour of slaves is a con­siderable part.

And sailors who are frequently at ports where slaves abound, and converse often with people who oppress them without the appear­ance of remorse, and often with sailors employ­ed in the slave trade, how powerfully do these evil examples spread amongst the seafaring youth!

I have had many opportunities to feel and understand the general state of the seafaring life amongst us, and my mind hath often been sad on account of so many lads and young men being trained up amidst so great corruption.

Under the humbling power of Christ I have seen, that if the leadings of his holy spirit were faithfully attended to by his pro­fessed followers in general, the heathen nati­ons would be exampled in righteousness. A less number of people would be employed on the seas. The channels of trade would be more free from defilement. Fewer people would be employed in vanities and superflu­ities.

The inhabitants of cities would be less in number.

Those who have much lands would become fathers to the poor.

More people would be employed in the sweet employment of husbandry, and in the path of pure wisdom, labour would be an a­greeable, healthful employment.

[Page 410] In the opening of these things in my mind, I feel a living concern that we who have felt divine love in our hearts may faithfully abide in it, and like good soldiers endure hardness for Christ's sake.

He, our blessed Saviour, exhorting his fol­lowers to love one another, adds, ‘As I have loved you.’ John xiii. 34.

He loved Lazarus, yet in his sickness did not heal him, but left him to endure the pains of death, that in restoring him to life, the people might be confirmed in the true faith.

He loved his disciples, but sent them forth on a message attended with great difficulty, amongst hard-hearted people, some of whom would think that in killing them they did God service.

So deep is divine love, that in stedfastly abiding in it, we are prepared to deny our­selves of all that gain which is contrary to pure wisdom, and to follow Christ, even un­der contempt, and through sufferings.

While friends were kept truly humble, and walked according to the purity of our prin­ciples, the divine witness in many hearts was reached; but when a worldly spirit got en­trance, therewith came in luxuries and su­perfluities, and spread by little and little, even amongst the foremost rank in society, and from thence others took liberty in that way more abundantly.

In the continuation of these things from parents to children, there were many wants [Page 411] to supply, even wants unknown to friends while they faithfully followed Christ. And in striving to supply these wants many have exacted on the poor, many have entered on employments, in which they often labour in upholding pride and vanity. Many have looked on one another, been strengthened in these things, one by the example of another, and as to the pure divine seeing, dimness hath come over many, and the channels of true brotherly love been obstructed.

People may have no intention to oppress, yet by entering on expensive ways of life, their minds may be so entangled therein, and so engaged to support expensive customs, as to be estranged from the pure sympathizing spirit.

As I have travelled in England, I have had a tender feeling of the condition of poor peo­ple, some of whom though honest and indu­strious, have nothing to spare toward paying for the schooling of their children.

There is a proportion between labour and the necessaries of life, and in true brotherly love the mind is open to feel after the neces­sities of the poor.

Amongst the poor there are some that are weak through age, and others of a weakly nature, who pass through straits in very pri­vate life, without asking relief from the publick.

Such who are strong and healthy may do that business, which to the weakly may be oppressive; and in performing that in a day [Page 412] which is esteemed a day's labour, by weakly persons in the field and in the shops, and by weakly women who spin and knit in the manufactories, they often pass through wea­riness; and many sighs I believe are uttered in secret, unheard by some who might ease their burdens.

Labour in the right medium is healthy, but in too much of it there is a painful wea­riness; and the hardships of the poor are sometimes increased through want of more agreeable nourishment, more plentiful fewel for the fire, and warmer cloathing in the winter than their wages will answer.

When I have beheld plenty in some houses to a degree of luxury, the condition of poor children brought up without learning, and the condition of the weakly and aged, who strive to live by their labour, have often re­vived in my mind, as cases of which some who live in fulness need to be put in remem­brance.

There are few, if any, could behold their fellow-creatures lie long in distress and for­bear to help them, when they could do it without any inconvenience; but customs re­quiring much labour to support them, do often lie heavy on the poor, while they who live in these customs are so entangled in a multitude of unnecessary concerns, that they think but little of the hardships which the poor people go through.

CHAP. III.
On silent Worship.

WORSHIP in silence hath often been refreshing to my mind, and a care attends me that a young generation may feel the nature of this worship.

Great expence ariseth in relation to that which is called divine worship.

A considerable part of this expence is ap­plied toward outward greatness, and many poor people in raising of tithe, labour in sup­porting customs contrary to the simplicity that there is in Christ, toward whom my mind hath often been moved with pity.

In pure silent worship, we dwell under the holy anointing, and feel Christ to be our shepherd.

Here the best of teachers ministers to the several conditions of his flock, and the soul receives immediately from the divine fountain, that with which it is nourished.

As I have travelled at times where those of other societies have attended our meetings, and have perceived how little some of them knew of the nature of silent worship; I have felt tender desires in my heart that we who often sit silent in our meetings, may live an­swerable to the nature of an inward fellow­ship with God, that no stumbling block through us, may be laid in their way.

[Page 414] Such is the load of unnecessary expence which lieth on that which is called divine service in many places, and so much are the minds of many people employed in outward forms and ceremonies, that the opening of an inward silent worship in this nation to me hath appeared to be a precious opening.

Within the last four hundred years, many pious people have been deeply exercised in soul on account of the superstition which prevailed amongst the professed followers of Christ, and in support of their testimony a­gainst oppressive idolatry, some in several ages have finished their course in the flames.

It appears by the history of the reformati­on, that through the faithfulness of the mar­tyrs, the understandings of many have been opened, and the minds of people, from age to age, been more and more prepared for a real spiritual worship.

My mind is often affected with a sense of the condition of those people, who in different ages have been meek and patient, following Christ through great afflictions: And while I behold the several steps of reformation, and that clearness, to which through divine good­ness, it hath been brought by our ancestors; I feel tender desires that we who sometimes meet in silence, may never by our conduct lay stumbling-blocks in the way of others, and hinder the progress of the reformation in the world.

It was a complaint against some who were called the Lord's people, that they brought [Page 415] polluted bread to his altar, and said the table of the Lord was contemptible.

In real silent worship the soul feeds on that which is divine; but we cannot partake of the table of the Lord, and that table which is prepared by the God of this world.

If Christ is our shepherd, and feedeth us, and we are faithful in following him, our lives will have an inviting language, and the table of the lord will not be polluted.