Short History OF A Long Journey,

IT being some Account of the Life of IOSIAH QUINBY, un­till he came to enter into the 48th Year of his Age, with Re­marks and Reflections upon his own past Actions.

NEW-YORK, Printed by Iohn Peter Lerger 1740.

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To the Reader.

THE Reason of my publishing the follow­ing Discourse, was this; I have un­dertaken many Projects, and Business of several Sorts and Kinds, most of which has been for the Good of the Common Wealth, as most People say, tho' other Parts of my Business has been prejudicial to perticular Persons.

In the End▪ however, my said Projects, Business and Miscariages hath made a great Noise in this Government, and something of it has been heard in divers other Governments, and there hath been many Enquirers, that was willing to know how these Things were; and therefore I thought fit to give a short hi­storical Account of some of the most remark­able Things that I have met with, and I have endeavoured to set Things in a true Light, as well condemning in my self, in every Case, where I judge I was wrong, as saying some­thing in my own Favour; wherein I was not so much to blame I have endeavoured to write [Page 4] in such an impartial Manner, relating the very Truth of Facts, that if I knew I was to dye in a few Days Time, yet I would order this to be published for Truth, as it now stands and is true; and I only offer this Discourse to those that are so charitable as to believe the Truth when they hear it, hoping it may be something of a Warning to others, that they may not let out their Minds to, and undertake Things that which do not belong to them as I have done: For it seems to me, that I am something like those Camels and Asses that I have heard of, which have been employed to car­ry Burdens, and great Treasure, through the long and tedious Deserts of Arabia, from Sea to Sea; but at length those poor Creatures are stript of all their Treasures▪ and then there remains nothing to them but the Bruises, Gauls and Wounds that they have received by their carrying them said Burdens and Riches▪ which did not properly belong to them: And so now, tho' I have had many Projects, and much Business of divers Kinds, some of which brought me plenty of Money, and others mis­carrying; now of all there remains no more to me than to those Camels and Asses, to wit, Gauls Bruiser and Wounds, which can hardly [Page 5] ever be cured; and was it not for a received Favour and Presence of Mind, which lifts me a little above and over most my Troubles▪ I should have been in a worse Condition than any of them miserable Creatures, which were wounded and worn out, and turned off to die a languishing Death, in the said Deserts of Arabia▪ For I see clearly, it was very wrong for me▪ to enter into such and so much Business as I have done, endeavouring to bring about my worldly Purposes, which if I could attai [...]ed to them all, they would have been but miserable Comforters in the End, no better nor so well as the Case of the Camels and Asses; and the more Riches and Burdens they Carry, the greater are the Gauls and Wounds on their Bo­dies, and so it often happens with us, that when we engage in a multitude of Business and Undertakings (not proper for us to meddle with) it not only afflicts our Brains and Bo­dies, but makes great Wounds and Bruises on our Souls; which if they should never be heal­ed, how dreadfull is then our Case, and how much happier are those Camels, which tho' they are grown old, tired, worn out and stript from their Burdens and Treasures, and left to Fam [...]sh for want in that dry barren Desart, and if [Page 6] we think that the Case with those Creatures whose Bodies only are distressed with Mise­ries and strong Pains is miserable, how much more miserable is the State of we human Creatures, whose Bodies and Souls are pla­gued in Distress and Pain in the fatigues of this unquiet World and the Guilt that Pur­sues.

But now I being blame worthy as I have said, it is no Wonder that I have been blamed by those that knew my Misdeeds; — how­ever I have not been so much to blame: But that some could and have laid great Faults to my Charge in Years past, as well as now, which I was never Guilty of, for altho' I let my Mind out after Bargains, Business and Enterpri [...]es somewhat uncommon, whereby sometimes I got great and extravagant Gains, yet I had generally so much honesty, or fari­ness in my Dealings, that it hath been my known Custom and Practice, that when I have overreached People by great Gains I have ge­nerally released them, or added so much to them as did make them easy that I dealt with; insomuch that I do not Remember in Twenty Years Time that ever I had made a Bargain with any Man whatsoever in Land Affairs, [Page 7] but if that he Repented within one Years Time, I released him or them, they paying for the Writings, and the Damage I had actually recieved thereby, and in such Cases I have dropped the Profit of many Hundreds of Pounds, but if they repented not in a Years Time, I used to hold them to it; but othe [...]s have not used me with the same Liberty's. And when my dealings have been in buying, selling or trucking of Horses, which I did not much Practice; yet if those I dealt with in that kind repented in a Weeks Time, I always relea­sed them. And tho' I have bought many hun­dreds or some Thousands of Cattle, yet I do not Remember that I ever had any Contention or Quarrel concerning any one of them, nor concerning the Price nor Payment, for I used to be punctual in those Cases, but tho' most of my common Business I did very fairly to the Satisfaction of those I had to do with, yet o­ther Parts of my Business was critical and unfair, and I did greatly love and delight to run upon Numbers of Projects and venture-some Enterprizes and Bargains, whereby I expected Profits; but yet upon the most delibe­rate Consideration, I cannnt accuse myself of a worse Action than that concerning the Mills, [Page 8] which I have given a faithfull Account of at large in the following Discourse, accusing myself wherein I was to blame. And as some of my said Business hath been much on the [...]treams▪ so some Peoples Accusations against me have been on the Extreams, by which there hath been many Stories, Reports and Accusa­ [...]ns against me in Years past, which were [...] and uncharitable, concerning many Things which never came into my Mind, nei­ [...]r to Devise nor Practice.

And also, as I h [...]ve related in the following [...]ccount something of my being accused with [...] Design of going off to Sea, in order to defeat [...] Creditors, which Report was altogether [...], for when I came last out of York, I in­ [...]ded to return again and make Payments, as much as I did intend to breath in the Air; [...] there is no Person that can speak true, and say, that ever I had spoken of any such Intention, or made any Preparation thereto. And there have been many other Accusations and Surmises against me, which I never had devised in the least, but yet I find [...] more Satisfaction in reflecting on myself for [...] Misdeeds then I can have in laying of any blame to the Charge of others, tho' they Ac­cuse [Page 9] me ever so much; for tho' I was wrong in my Undertakings, yet I was in hopes that this Trading Affairs as I had laid it out in my Mind would have afforded me Profits, and been of great Service to People in that Govern­ment where I did Trade, and I am not yet convinced but that a Scheme something like what I had proposed might be carried on by suitable and honest Hands to great Advantage on both Sides.

And on the whole, I am really sorry that any should be hurt any ways by me, and if there were any that I could recall that Part back again how gladly would I do it with all my Might; but as to my own Part; I neither mourn my self▪ nor do I want others to Pity me, for I well know I deserve from the Hand of Providence all that I meet with, and much more, and this is I concieve a suitable Place for me, perhaps I have learned already more here in a little Time, than I should have done in Seven Years either at Court or Colledge. To witt. So much of a resigned Mind, that I now can quietly let alone all Things that I cannot amend, and altho' I have done wrong Things to a great Degree, yet I know assuredly that the Power of Truth is present to heal: [Page 10] And what now shall hinder me from choosing this Visitation and the healing Balm of Gilead to be my Portion.

Farewell. Josiah Quinby.
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A short History of a long Jour­ney, &c.

I Was born at Westchester, in the Year 1693, of honest Parents, and good Livers, according to the Custom of that Place. I being my Father's eldest Son, he wanted my Help on his Farm, and so brought me up to Hus­bandry. I had very litle Schooling; I could read pretty well, But was but a poor Writer. As my Father and Mother were of those called Quakers, so they en­deavoured to bring me up in that Way of Religion; but I proved rude and very un­lucky or mischeivous amongst my Com­panions, tho' at some Times I was sober and rel [...]gious, and after I had done such Things as I judged wicked and ungraceful, was so condemned for it in my Conscience, that I thought I would never be guilty of doing such Wickedness more; and yet by my being careless and unwatchful, I was [Page 12] often drawn into great Temptations, and would fall into the like Offences again: But as my Temptations were great, so the Kindness of Providence was likewise great, and afforded me a tender Visitation of Love, by which my Heart was much af­fected.

When I was about 17 Years old, I grew more sober and religious; and before I was 19 was accounted a Member of that Church, and had so good an Impression of Virtue and Religion on my Mind, that those of that Society received me as such, and the Eyes of many were on me for Good, hoping that I would prove a good, religious, selfdenying Man.

I was very sincere and tender in those Days, and really intended, through the Help of Grace, that then seem'd to rest in me, to have given up my Mind to live an­swerable thereto; but yet at Times I grew careless, and after that fell upon several Projects and Schemes of Business, some of which were somewhat accute, and account­ed witty; and letting my Mind run out after Multiplicty of Business and Notions, seemed to do me a great deal of Hurt, as [Page 13] to my religious Concerns, it choaked the good [...] that was sown and had sprou [...]ed in my Heart; this my Friends as well as well as my Relations quickly perceived, and therefore warned me of the Tempta­tions and Snares which they saw were pre­vailing on me. However I gain'd several considerable Sums of Money, and other Profits, by my Projects, which made me the more bold to argue and resist their Council; and instead of desiding, I enter­ed into much more.

Some of my Business was such, that it did not become neither me, nor any of that Society to which I belonged, nor indeed any rel [...]gious Christian; and for these my Proceedings, several Members and Elders of the Meeting that I belonged to, came to me, an [...] let me know, they were concern'd to forwarn me of the ill Cons [...]quences of my following such a Cou [...]se of Business as I had done; for by this Time I had bought and sold many Uncertainties, and [...] into the Law, which I had no Reason to have done. I was so forward an Adver [...] [...] that not only many of this C [...]un [...]y [...] to me, and I to them, but als [...] [...], [Page 14] from several Parts of this Govern­ment, and some from other adjacent Go­vernments, came to me to truck, traffick, buy and sell, with me, in very uncert [...]in Affairs and Business, some of which went hard on my Side, I loosing large Sums of Money; ye [...] for the most Part I got the better of those with whom I ventured.

I got Money by large Sums; for my Dealings were not much in Trifles, but in Houses, Lands, Mills, and chiefly Things of great Consquence. Tho' I also bo [...]ght some Tracts of Land fairly, and dividing them, sold them fairly, and gained con­siderable Money by such fair Dealings; and I gained Money by several Projects and Contrivances. I had a Way to get Money, yet I had not a Faculty to keep it; I got large Sums from Rich Men, that were more wise and honest than my self, and Fools some Times got it from me again; I sometimes thought there was a just Judgment upon me, for this Business I follow­ed; for tho' I got large Sums of Money, and great Bargains, and had Money very plenty at Times, yet sometimes I wanted Money very much, so that I hired 12 or [Page 15] 15 Hundred Pounds, and for several Years I gained above 500 Pounds a Year, and one Year I gained upwards of 900 Pounds; I have begun finished and ended some Bar­gains in six Weeks Time, whereby I have gained 540 Pounds clear Profit to my self, by buying and selling of Land, and the Money paid me in Cash, I can give an Ac­count when, where and how I gained Thous [...]nds of Pounds, though I d [...]d no [...] keep it, and I used to employ Numbers of Men to work, and carry on my Proj [...]ct [...], some hit, and some missed my Interest.

This my going on in a wrong Way and Business much grieved many of my religi­ous Friends, who saw that I was grown more careless concerning Religion and Vir­tue than I had been; whereupon several of the Elders again dealt with me, by ensur­ing me for my uncommon Proceedings, and running of Ventures in Hazards not much better than Gaming. They read to me the Advice and Counsel of the yearly Meeting of London, and others of Friends Orders and Discipline; wherein it is set forth and declared, That those in Unity with that Church may not cheat the King by [Page 16] turning of Goods, nor act deceivably with any of his Su [...]jects; and they knowing I was g [...]t into a st [...]ange Sort of juggling Business, t [...]o much like that of the Sou [...]-Sea-Stock. Some of them were for denying me, ex­cept I would adhere to their Couns [...]l; o­thers advised to the contrary; for though some of my Business was wrong, yet they said, That I was a good Common-Wealth's Man, for I had bought and sold a great Deal very fa [...]rly, and employed many Men, whom I generally paid very punctually, so that my Wo [...]d would pass for Hundreds of Pounds, as ready Money. They theref [...]re advised me to d [...]sist some Part of my Business, such as they thought unfair, and endeavoured to enforce their Arguments against me. I An­swered them with my Reasons, and went on still with my Notions and Business ac­cording to my own Humour, some of which was partly mathematical (though I wanted Learning) yet I got considerable Monies by something of that Kind; I thought I saw f [...]r into Things of that Na­ture, and under [...]ook and employed many Hands, in b [...]lding and rebuilding several Stocks of Mills, and for my projecting had several Sums of Money.

[Page 17]As I had made many uncertain Bargains, of many other Kinds, so I have some un­certain Bargains concerning Mills; one of which I will relate something of in parti­cular, by which you may partly judge of others. The Case was thus.

I met with some Merchants at New-York, solid honest Men, and they understanding I was rekoned somewhat acute or famous for projecting or building of Mills; and knowing I had a Stream which might serve to set a Stock of Mills on, they viewed the Place, and found that at best it would af­ford but a low Head of Water. They wanted Mills, and as there had been a Mill built on the Place before, by a noted Mill-Wright, which Mill could never grind so much as 5 Bushels an Hour of good Meal; these Merchants thought it impos­sible for me to build Mills there to grind above 6 Bushels an Hour of good bolting Meal 6 Hours in one Tide; yet I Proposed to build Mills on the said Place to great Per­fection and Performance. In the Conclu­sion we agreed, and made the Price accor­ding to what they should grind for 6 Hours together, in an Hour, for that was to be the [Page 18] Tryal. But tho' those Men knew, and [...] their common Business well, yet they d [...]d not know, nor believe, that I was capable of making any great Performance with M [...]lls in that Place; but I knew it, and therefore I was the more guilty of overr [...]e [...]ng, them. However, we agreed and went on, I was to build the Mills, and they were to have them at a Price according to the Wheat they could grind in 6 Hours, in one [...]; though we made several Barg [...]ns b [...]f [...]re we settled fully the Agreement how the Tryal should be made and Price compu [...]d, and at last agreed, That only the little Pair of Stones should grind on the Tr [...]l, and de­termine the Perfection of the Mills▪ and the Price thereof, by grinding good Bolting Meal on that Tryal. I had a great M [...]nd to have got their Consent, to have made the said Tryal with the great Pair of Stones, which was 5 Feet broad, and the lesser but 4 Feet and 7 Inches; for after the M [...]lls were finished, and both Pairs of Stones proved by grinding. I offered to drop 164 Pounds the Price of the Mills▪ if they would consent that the Tryal should be made with the great Pair of Stones, but [Page 19] they refused that. A Day was appointed to [...] in, and we, and two of our three Jud [...]es appeared there to see this Tryal; now this Tryal was difficult, because in th [...]s Province of New York Wheat and Flower are suppos [...]d to be the greatest Ar­ticl [...]s of Produce we have, and Mills being exce [...]ding Plenty and wanting Custom a great deal of their Time, so the Millers or owners of Mills have been very nice and carefull to grind for the Bolters in the exact [...]st Manner the very best of Bolting Meal to gain Custom; which consists of grinding.

1stly. A broad Bran, and it will not do if it be cut short or fine.

2dly. The Bran must be thin and light.

3dly. The Meal must be Cool or at most but about Blood-Warm.

4thly. The Meal must not be over much smothered in the Mill, but be Ground light and lively; and such, and none but such, could justly Answer this Tryal.

We then got ready for said Tryal, and and after the Stones had ground a little while, and seemed to be well settled in their Motion, and came to make good Boul­ting [Page 20] Meal to the unanimous Satisfaction of said Judges; then I began to grind measur­ed Wheat, and went on the Tryal; the o­ther Party, viz. the Merchants at same Time had got a noted Miller to grind with the great Stones while I was grinding on the Tryal. The said Miller ground very carefully to make the very best of Bolting Meal for an Example for me to follow; he dressed his Stones his own Way, and ground but slowly, about 4 or 5 Bushels an Hour, and made choice Meal; but I let my Mill go apace, and kept her constantly to good Bolting Meal also, to the Satisfac­tion of the Judges: The first Hour I ground upwards of 16 Bushels of Wheat, and after that I ground near 18 Bushels an Hour; and so on untill the Mills were shut down; grinding as fast and well to the end as at any Time at all. There happened to be a Bolter there that was on the Mer­chants Party; a gr [...]at Friend of theirs, tho' not concern'd in the Tryal, who call'd out to the Judges when I was grind [...]ng and told them that my Meal was not good Bol­ting Meal; and that I ought to grind on this Tryal such Meal as the other Miller [Page 21] did grind. N [...]w it is to be observed, that Capt. William Walton, Merchant, now living in New-York, was one of our said chosen Judges, and then pr [...]sent at the Try [...]l; and as the said Walton hath several Mills of his own, and buys and Ships off more Flower by far than any other Merchant in this Province; therefore his Care and great ex­perience had sufficiently improved his Skill in the b [...]st of Meal for Bolting: He the said Walton therefore undertook to try the Skill of that Bolter which the M [...]r­chants had there; Capt. Walton took some of my Meal ground so very fast▪ and of the other Mill [...]r's ground so very carefull, and kept the Meals apart, and then ask [...]d the Bolter to see if he could find the dif­ference; the said B [...]lter sayd the difference was easily known, for that the one was good and the other not; but he chose [...] for the good, and declared the other Miller's not so good, but our Judges agreed that mine was right good.

Indeed I had a Mind to have brought the said little pair Stones to have ground 20 Bushels an Hour on the Tryal, but the Judges perswaded me that I ground fast [Page 22] enough, tho' it was remarkable that my Meal was not nigh so warm as the o [...]her Miller's was, notwithstanding the Mills were set to Work together, and went equal as to Time, and tho' I ground at the ra [...]e aforesaid; yet my Meal was delivered so cool, light and lively with a clean Bran, when she went▪ that the said Judges all along feeling of the Meal, admired it to the last. And I have heard them since say; that they b [...]lieved I would have br [...]ught the g [...]inding to 20 Bushels an Hour, if they had not in the Tryal per­swad [...]d me to the contrary.

I would not have been so particular in relating this Matter, but that several Per­sons some of whom saw this Tryal perfor­med▪ and are now living; have urg [...]d me to publish the said Tryal to the World as an Advertisement to excite those that are concern'd in Mills, to endeavour to come to a greater Perfection in grinding than is usually performed: For perhaps it may cause some who have Money to spare, to amend the Regulations of their Mills to their Advantage (but I advise such as have not Money plenty, that they be content [Page 23] just to keep their old Mills in repair) but now tho' those Mills did grind to exceed (as it is Thought) any in America; and that the like Pr [...]sident cannot be shewn by grind­ing: Ye [...] they came to an unreasonable P [...]ice, nigh two Thousand Pounds more [...] they were really Worth: I was Guilty of thi [...] I [...]osition on these Men, because I knew most [...] these Affairs; for it was not under th [...]r N [...]ti [...]e▪ what a Perfor­mance I could make; I believe they wanted Mills, and were willing to give a good honest Price for them; but I wanted an Advantage, and I knew when they put their Hands to the Se [...]ls of the Bonds and Covenants, that they had brought themselves into a Preminery. This I do declare to my own Shame, and have sin [...]rely thought, that I have found as much Guilt and Condemnation within my self for this T [...]ing as ever I found for any Deed that [...]ver I did in the course of all my Life and Business, because this was done with a pre­meditated Design; for if I should kill a Man, or an hundred Men without a design of so do­ing I might be free from the weight of that Guilt for killing those Men.

[Page 24]However these Merchants, after they saw themselves caught, made a vigorous Defence against paying so much Money, and their Lawyers found fault with our Bonds and Articles of Agreement; I Sued them, and tho' I seemed too hard for them in the Law, yet they found means to avoid the Payment of the Money, untill partly by Arbitrations and partly by consent of Parties, a great Part, or all of the extrava­gant Price was dropp [...]d, and they finally paid me 975 Pounds and Court Charges. As for their Opposition and D [...]fence against my unreasonable Demand▪ I think they were to be commended, notwithstanding 6 Months after the Barga [...]n was made, and I threatned them with g [...]tting a very great Price, yet they approved of it so far as to give out a Request under their Hands and Seals, desiring me to bring the Mills to as great a Price by grinding as was pos­sible, and they would like them the better, which made some justify my Proceedings with them in the Law.

Now sometimes Men have come to me with a design to over reach me in Bargains, knowing that I was very bold and apt to [Page 25] venture, and if such should happen to be bitt as we call it, I did not pitty them so much; many such I have met with, some of which went away with Loss, and others with Gain and Triumph; and thus I have stood many Chances. But when I found I had overdone honest Men it hath made me heartily sorry for them; and in such Cases I have given back many hundreds of Pounds, and can tell when, and to whom I have so given back; for sometimes I had plenty of Money, and at other Times I wanted: But at length I was got much in Debt, for Providence seemed to Work against me, tho' I got some thousands of Pounds from Wise Men, yet Fools got it from me; which sometimes I wondred at, as the Egyptians wondred at their Chariot Wheels. Notwithstanding, I took Courage again and again, and obtained several Pri­zes, or undertakings of Profit, and as often met with some Business or Project that would draw away my Money: I bought several Tracts and Shares of Lands, which I could not well sell again to my Mind, and spent considerable Moneys in digging of Mines, which was all lost in this last [Page 26] sort of Business, I often had Occasion to Travel to New-England, and by enquiring there amongst their Traders, I found by their Invoices a [...]d Bills of Parcels made at Boston, that many Sorts of Goods especial­ly Land Goods were considerably cheaper at York, than they were at Boston, I also observed that barrelled Pork, Wheat and Flax-Seed, were much cheaper in Con­necticut Government than at York, at that Time, considering the difference of the Money's; and observing that some of the Traders in New-England, sold many Things to the Inhabitants extream dear, I thought some of them used great Extortion in Dealing so with the People; and that I could Use them much better, and perhaps mend thereby my decaying circumstances. So I ventured to begin to Trade from York to New-England; I took some hundred Pounds worth of Goods in York, and sold them in New-England for advance, and likewise got good Returns for York; I ad­vanced on Pork Twelve Shillings per Barrel, on Wheat thirteen pence, and on Flax-Seed sixteen pence per Bushel. And tho' then I sold Goods cheap, the Returns made out [Page 27] Profit enough, and this Succe [...] encour [...]ged me to go largely the second Year; now the natural Courage, and boldness of my Temper commonly used to lead me to Extreams, and now I wanted Money, so I ventured to set u [...] several Stores in New-England, and when it came to be generally known in York that I kept Stores in New-England, the Merchants in York were very fond of my Custom; one would call me into this Store, and another into another, so that I have been call'd into 4 or 5 in going about 40 or 50 Rod; then they would shew me their good Pennyworths, some again would take me by the Hand, others by the Coat, some claiming old acquaintance, and offering me Credit, both Iews and Gentiles; and by such means I was prevailed on t [...]ke great Quantities of Goods, where I intended to have taken less: There were several likewise in New-England who encouraged me, telling me, that they could by trading turn several Thousand Pounds worth of Goods into pro­fitable Reurns for New-York in a Year. Now as I said, being got out of Business and into Debt; and being both ambitious [Page 28] and [...]oth to break of Business, and conside­ring that several Times by bold and un­common Enterprizes, (which I thought more unlikely to hit than this) and yet some of them had taken wonderfull Turns in my Favour, to the amending my cir­cumstances. I now concluded to go on with great Business of this Kind, and therefore set up Stores in several Places in New-Eng­land; giving Orders to my Store-Keepers to sell cheap, considerably cheaper than other traders did; tho' to the best of my Understanding, I ordered every Thing we sold, to be sold for more than what they cost me; and I hoped to make some Profit by Returns to York, and by my underselling others I thought to have drawn a vast Cus­tom in the several Parts in which I traded: I was of Opinion that very small Gains in a large Trade, would have made all An­swer; for as I employed several Factors in different Towns and Places, so I thought every one had his Business in selling the Goods, and taking in suitable Returns for New-York; and I likewise concluded if a Man could get Profit by Trading in one Place o [...] Town, so I m [...]ght get more Pro­fit [Page 29] by many Factors in several Towns; and that I might receive the Eff [...]cts of the Country, delivered on Vessels for York, and so went on Trading in several Places.

But as I was much in Debt before I en­tred into this precarious Business of so large Trading; several of those I owed Money to began to think I was got into a more dangerous strain by trading in New-Eng­land, than the Business I was in before; some of them therefore press'd hard on me for their Moneys, wherefore I was forced to pay Moneys to some, and to secure o­thers; yet still I encouraged myself I should do great Matters, by trading in very great Quantities of Goods; and by making pro­fitable Returns to York: But in this I was deceived; for tho' some of my Factors were carefull, yet others got confused in their Accompts, and made great mistakes, I myself was but a poor Writer, and did not understand such Affairs, neither was I so carefull as I should have been, but trus­ted too much to others.

Towards the latter end of February 1737-8, I being at New-Haven s [...]lling Goods and taking in Effects for New York, [Page 30] I was taken Sick with a sort of a Pleurisy, the News of which quickly got to York amongst my Creditors, and was as quickly followed by the News of my Death.

The Merchants hearing I was Dead, got into a great stir and care how they should get their Money; and making enquiry one among another, they found my Debts large and many; and altho' they were in­formed by my Letters to them, that I had been Sick b [...]t was Recovering, and inten­ded to come home in a little Time; yet they were got in [...]o such a stir and strife who should get their Moneys first, that at my coming home, I heard that several of them had ordered Writs out against me, thinking (I suppose) I might lay down Money, or secure the first that Arrested me: This I heard was their contrivance, tho' it was for Money not then due by se­veral Months; for it is to be understood that I took the Goods at divers Times of Payment. viz. some at 2 Months, some at 3, some at 6, some at 9, and the most at 12 Months Credit. The Reason was, there were several that let me have Goods on a short Cre­dit, at what they call'd ready Money Price▪ [Page 31] and when I thought I could Answer short Payments, I had the Goods the cheaper, and by this Time had paid all the Merchants for the Goods I had the first Year, tho' in­deed it was inconsiderable to what I had taken this second Year; I had also answer'd very punctually in paying for those Goods I had taken on a short Credit.

Most of my great Debts were not yet become due, and all that were then due, and unpaid, I had Money in my Hands, and Eff [...]cts on board a Vessel then bound for York to Pay, and some Hundreds of Pounds more. But however, as I said, the Merchants were got into stir and strife who should get their Moneys first, tho' it was not yet due, the Times of Payment ac­cording to our Agreement when I took the Goods not being yet come, but I had no­thing to shew for that from under their Hands.

As I had been a Man of much Business, and had Business with great Numbers of People, so I had many hearty Friends, and some back door Friends (as we call them) for I have heard that some of them at that Time went to my Creditors, and informed [Page 32] them that had a large Sea Sloop nigh sitted for the Sea, and that in all Pro­bability, I would take my Wife, Child, Goods and Money, and go off to some fo­reign Part of the World. Some of my Creditors were afraid that these Reports were likely to be true; others would not believe any Thing of it; and I have heard that there was a strife amongst them, some being for falling on and Suing me for the Money, others were of the Mind, it would be a great hardship to serve a Man so. By this Time I was come home to my House at Mamaroneck, from New-England, and then heard more of these Tumults and Discontents amongst the Merchants, my Creditors at York; and that some of them had taken out Writs against me for the Mon [...]es as aforesoid. I therefore shut my Doors, and dispatched a messenger di­rectly to my Creditors, and thereby ac­quainted them; that I had heard of their uneasiness concerning the Goods I had had of them, and that I understood there were some Writs out against me, that I had shut my Doors against such Writs, and could not stand such a Storm as was risen a­against [Page 33] me; but since it had happened thus, I knew I could not go on with Business, that my Circumstances were but mean, if therefore they would chuse a Committee, I would deliver all I had into their Hands, for the Use or Security of my Creditors in general, on a Settlement; for that I in­tended to do them all the Justice that was in my Power; upon their receiving this Letter, I heard they had a Meeting, and some Time after there came two of them to tr [...]a [...] with me in behalf of themselves and others (it being 25 Miles from York to my House) I opened the Doors to them, and they came in; and discoursed with me concerning the subject Matters. I told them, I was sorry my Circumstances were no better, tho' I thought I could Answer all my Debts very well; and have con­siderable left to live on, by selling my Lands and other Estate: But that there were several claimed my Lands, who I thought had no lawfull Right thereto, nie­ther in Law nor Equity, if it were tryed.

However it spoiled the sale of them to a great Degree, and unless I could sell my Lands well, I should fall much short in [Page 34] paying▪ of my Creditors; I was sincere (I told them) in the Matter, and would secure them in the best manner I could; and that no one Thing which was in my Power should be wanting; for they might take the Goods which were yet unsold, and the outstanding Debts, and all I had should be made over to them for the Use of my Creditors in general, upon a Settle­ment (as I said before) that this was all I could do, if I had ever so much less than would Answer my Debts.

We had much Discourse concerning the Premisses, and drinking Tea together, they seemed very friendly, and in conclusion told me this: That what I offered them, was all that my Creditors could now ex­pect of me; tho' they were sorry that my Lands were claimed by others, and my Cir­cumstances so mean; but however they concluded to go to York, and inform my Creditors of the state of Things, and get Pow­er from them to make a Settlement if they consented▪ as they doubted not but they would; and accordingly they went for New-York, to return within a few Days, and accor­dingly returned; but brought Writts and [Page 35] took me Prisoner about the begining of April, Anno 1738; others likewise by their Orders brought more Writts against me, untill I was Arrested for about Eight Thou­sand Pounds New-York Currency: And I knew many more Writts might come a­gainst me still, and now they in Company had agreed to stand and sell together, and and all that they should receive, should be divided according, and in Proportion to what each Creditor had due to him; so they brought me to Westchester, and deli­vered me up to the high Sheriff Isaac Wil­let; who, as some thought would have committed me to close Goal. I being now in his Care, it may not be amiss to men­tion the usage that Prisoners now have, and heretofore have had under the several preceeding high Sherriffs of this County, which hath been thus. When they have Arrested such Prisoners that could not get Bail because of the largeness of their Debts, yet if they were such as the Sherriff dare to confide in, he let them have the Liberty of the County, untill the Debt or Debts have been ripened to Execution; and then such trusty Prisoners have come, and de­livered [Page 36] themselves to Goal, and such have had the best of the Rooms within the Verge and Court of the Prison House, which is sufficiently commodious and comfortable for Debtors, when at the same Time those that cannot be trusted, are shut up in a close Room, or Rooms with Bolts, Bars and Locks, but notwithstanding my Debts were so very large and many. Yet Providence so ordered it, that I have had the same Favours with the said Officer, as hath been usually granted to the most trusty Prisoners; for which some have given out in Spe [...]ches, as tho' I had given the Sherriff some great Sum or Sums of Money, for those Liberty's which I enjoy'd under him; and for the Resque that he runs of his Fortune on my Account (tho' it be so considerable that there are very few in these Parts that hath the like Estate) but I do assure you, and positively Declare; that tho' he doth run said Res­que, if I should have proved untrue to him, would have proved of very bad consequence and have been very fatal to him. Yet he hath never asked me, nor re­cieved from me the Value of One Shilling, [Page 37] neither directly nor indirectly, on any such Account; and I can truly say, I was never under the least Temptation to be untrue to him; so Providence I concieve, hath directed him to believe the verity of my Heart, and he is altogether easy as to the Trust and Confidence he puts in me: Yet I understand it to be the Mind of the said present Sherriff, that he would not give such Liberties to any Persons, that thereby would contrive to make their lives comfortable, and heep their Creditors out of their just Dues, when it was in their Power to do otherwise; but that he would Confine such in close Rooms, under Bolts and Locks, that thereby they might be­come willing to do their Creditors Justice to the utmost of their Power, as he is fully satisfied I am willing to do. For that is the design of the Law (says he) that thereby Men should be compelled to do Justice to each other; and again he understands, it is not the design and intent of the Law, that Mankind should Torment one another, and distress them into Misery, when the afflicted, tho' Debtors, cannot do any good thereby to their Creditors.

[Page 38]But now, several Men claim my Lands and Improvements since this my Confine­ment, tho' I am perswaded they have no lawful Right thereto, and I being under disadvantage, Things must e'en take their course, for now they well know, I am not able to make the defence I once could have done; and my misfortune is to have power­full Men to make defence against in these Times, so now tho' I have several Lands, yet I cannot sell them for one third Part so much, as I was offered for them before; I see in these Troubles, and one Reason may be this; I was formerly reckoned somewhat Powerfull in defence of Lands, I remember it was but a very few Years since, that there were several considerable Men of this Province; as our present Chief Justice, and others, they applied to me to asist them in defence of some of their Lands, against those that did contend in the Law, to take them away, and I ha­ving a small share in the same Patent, and fully believing we had right on our Side, I undertook the burthen of the several Causes then depending; and we being vic­torious in all the said Causes, they the [Page 39] said Company allowed me above Six Hundred Pounds worth of Lands for my Service that Year; tho' now the Case much differs, and I must comply with these present Times, for tho' I have had considerable Sums of Money for my Ad­vice and Undertakings concerning Lands, Mills and other Inventions, which Moneys I got easily, and like the fate of Mall-Pro­jectors, laid them out again foolishly in Projects, some of which was reckoned accute, and proved Profitable; yet others miscarried to my great Loss, as it has of­ten been said, That tho' I have had a Facul­ty to get Money, yet I may say, I never learnt the Art to keep it. I was always allowed to be a Sober Man, and so moderate on the account of strong Drink, that there was scarce one in a hundred like me, and because I did not keep Company, and spend my Money in strong Liquor, some and especially one Person gave out, that I must needs have spent Money in private Who­ring; otherwise I could not have parted with so much as had gone through my Hands, &c. In Answer to which I do so­lemnly say and declare it for the Truth, and [Page 40] the Truth; That I only never spent one Pen­ny of Money in that Way, but that I never committed the Act of Whoring, or Fornication in any Time even to this Day, in my Life, tho' I lived unmarried untill the 36th Year of my Age.

But to go on, my Accounts concerning Merchandize and Store-keeping in New-England, was poorly and carelessly kept by some that had sold Goods for me, and I did not keep the state of them Affairs as I ought to have done my self, so that Things now lay unsettled and in great Confusion, and my Creditors also had sent into New-England, siezed the Goods in se­veral of my Stores, for so it is admitted by the Law of that Government; and some of them Store-Keepers since refuse to render me an Account of the Goods to this Day, for say they the Goods was siezed and taken from us, and we know not the Value of them so taken; so it seemed to me that all these Things worked together to make my Circumstances more dark and desperate than otherwise they would have been; and upon the whole state of Things I apprehended that there would be exceed­ing [Page 41] Losses fall on my Creditors, notwith­standing all that I then could possible do for them; I was really grieved that I should become the Cause of great Losses and Da­mage to so many as I was concerned with, and owed Money to; I was convinced I was certainly wrong and out of the way, for entering into this, and other Businesses, that did not belong to me, nor I to that, for I was not capable of such Business, therefore the pressure that by Times has lain on my, Mind on that account, was very great, but as to my own Disappoint­ment and loss of Credit and Business I did not so much Matter (tho' that I had some Place in my Mind also) for I can easily comply with a low and mean way of liv­ing: And I believe had I been sentenced and confined; that I should never have enjoy­ed, and have any higher fare than Bread and Water to the Day of my Death; that that would not so much have afflicted me as the above­said hath done; but however I cannot Mourn for ever, but must submit to what I cannot amend, and so take Things and Times as they are, and not as they are not to be had; it is now in vain for me to strive to bring back [Page 42] the Things that are past and gone, tho' they were as grievous as Death itself, so I endea­voured therefore in the midst of these my Troubles, to give up my Mind to Solitude, Meditation, Recollection and Lamentation in the Fields, in the Woods, by the Hills, Brooks and Rivers of Waters, and I found a great deal of Comfort some Times in these Retire­ments, for I found I was frustrated and disappointed in all Business and Undertakings, and brought down as it were to the Dust, if I ever had been reckoned somewhat accute, or witty, it was now all turned into manifest Folly, if ever I had been a little apt or inge­nious in Projections and getting Money, it was now all lost and come to nothing, my fol­ly manifested to the World, and I left a de­spisable Creature upon the Earth; and I was destitute of those religious Influences and Comforts which I wanted to stay my Mind; and I said where shall I go to take up a La­mentation, or find a sit Place to give my Heart Mourning, and I said, are not these Hills and Mountains happier than I am, how sweetly doth the Fields and Vallies recieve the heat and Comfort of the Sun, and send forth the Grass and Fruits most pleasantly, they seem [Page 43] to be in a sweet Temper and Habit, and no Troubles affects them; the Hills and the Earth were in Unity together, and the Waters of the Brooks and Rivers passed along freely without Sorrow, the prudent Bees were gathering Honey and the Birds did Chirrup and Sing, and the [...]attle and Sheep did eat the pleasant Herbs of the Fields and Woods, and lay down and rested quietly; and I could not find any Creature that was affected with Sorrow like my Sorrow; I thought I was distressed and forsaken by all the Comforts of the World, and left to Lament and Mourn alone; the Hills and the Mountains did not join with me in Lamentation, the Brooks and streams of Wa­ters run from me, and would not stay, and take any Part of my Grief; If I looked on the Waves of the Sea, they moved without Care or Pain, the Grass and Trees were made glad by the Pleasant Showers; and I said Wo is me because I am more miserable than all Creatures, and above all my Conscience oppressed for so many Misdeeds; but I en­deavoured to hide my Grief from all Men, and imparted not my Trouble to any liv­ing Creature; for I thought it most just that I should bear these my Afflictions a­lone, [Page 44] because I had unnessessarily plunged my self into these Things, that had brought these my Troubles on me with­out taking the Advice of those, that would gladly have restrained me from these mul­tiplicities of Business, that I so engaged in: And so I travelled in this deep dark Val­ley of Afflictions; the Waters thereof were as Worm-Wood and Gaul, and those that have not been there and Drank of tkem cannot judge of the bitterness thereof; and in this Depth of Darkness, I remembred the saying of David, that when his Father and his Mother had forsaken him, then was he found; and even in this Time of great forsaking, I yet found some Comfort that sustained me, and at Times raised my Countenance above all Trouble; but again and again I was apt to be overwhelmed; and now about the last of May following the yearly Meeting on Long-Island; remem­bering that I formerly had refused to take their Council, but had acted contrary thereto, and had run into Business, some of which was unfit for me to meddel with; it is like n [...]w some of them wished that they heretofore had published their Senti­ments [Page 45] against me by a Denyal; except I had returned and kept within bounds, for it was supposed, that I was like to hurt my Creditors, and the Meeting thought it Time to clear themselves of me; and altho' I not had taken their Council, yet it was pretty hard for them to fix any great Mat­ter on me, for that it hath been acknow­ledged by those, who were called my Enemies, that in my common and smaller Affairs, I had dealt very uprightly, made my Agreements fairly▪ and Paid my Mo­ney punctually; which dealings came to about 8, 10, or 12 Hundred a Year, and by me was performed to as great and ge­neral Satisfaction to the People, as any Man that ever dealt in the County; and now some could have said a great deal in my Favour, towards justifying most Things that ever I had done; yet others condem­ned me very much, but now the Meetings had one particular Thing against me, suf­ficient to judge me, except I would have answered for my self, which I was not then disposed to do, neither by Word nor wri­ting, and that was this.

[Page 46]Several Months before this Time there was another man, belonging to the Month­ly-Meeting in this County; and he and I had some Difference, which was refered and traversed untill I was ordered to pay him about One Hundred Pounds, which I had not done, for that I thought I had suf­ficient Reasons, to object against the said Payment, for that I had other Accounts a­gainst him unsetled, and the judges be­tween him and I give it as their Opinion that I might bring in them afterwards, his being on Bond, and mine but accompts. But now as I had not complyed to the said Order and Payment, they on this Occasion, the said Yearly meeting denyed me, when I heard first of it, I Received the News with Patience, believing it was just (tho' not so much on the Account, of this Mo­ney) as for the offences before given; now as to such as did perform this my denyal, sincerely and religiously being concerned to clear their own Consciences, the Church from Scandal, and themselves from me, that refused to take their counsel as afore­said I must believe so far they did well: and all good People may have good Unity [Page 47] therewith, but as most Churches have some of them; of a different design or Temper in Mind, so there might possible be here some such; and if there were any here that drave on or endeavoured to drive on my said Denyal, on Account of any ill will to me, and not in love to the truth, and a Right Zeal for the Church, they were (I thought too much like unto Flesh-Flies, that deligh [...] [...]o dwell on the bruises and wounds of other Creatures, making them worse, but consider not their own Imperfections, nor the Meaness of their own kind.

Tho' I do believe that all those that know the whole Orders and Discipline of those called, Quakers (may say without Reflections or Flattery, that their Church Government is the best in all Christendom) and that their Poor, the Widow and Fa­therless is better provided for, and diffe­rances settled without Law-Suites. Where­by Peace and Unity is irreserved in a more Christian like Manner, then it is in or a­mong any other Church or People. But yet some Times their falls out Mistakes, and Things are by some missmanaged, but that [Page 48] is not to be laid to the Charge of those that are innocent.

And I receiv'd the News of my being deny'd by the Meeting with Patience; tho' afterwards, I had it in my Mind, to expose the Man I was ordered to pay the said Mo­neys to with several Things I had to lay to his Charge; and also the Proceedings a­gainst me in that Case, when he and I diffe­red, and how I came to be ordered to pay him Money while our other Accounts was unsettled, but this I found to be a Tempta­tion and not my business, so desisted: And in August following there was great prepa­ration for Choosing an Assembly-Man for this County in the Room of Governour Morris, who was then removed to his Go­vernment in New-Iersey, and there were several put up for it, and a great Division in the County in this affair, and there were some considerable Men came to me from several parts of the Country; some of both Parties, tho' the most of one, and they told me that the Minds of the People in general were more towards me than any other Per­son in the County; for they said I had been a good Common Wealth's Man, and [Page 49] had brought into and disbursed more Mo­ney in the County than any one born in it had ever done before; and therefore if I would serve, they did not Doubt of my being Chosen, for that many of both par­ties would fall in, with me, and all this Time it was generally thought that my Creditors had used me with Severity. And it was said they were Rich Men, and did not want Money, and if I should serve in this post, I could not then be kept a Priso­ner by them; but I acknowledge their Love and good will towards me: And said, as I had not managed well for my self it would not be for the Credit of the County that I should Represent them, in that Station; And I had other Reason for which I could not Serve if Chosen; so there was another Chosen the time passed, untill about the last of October. Anno: 1738 and then I had an Execution served on me, in Conse­quence of which I came to this Place, and so have continued under this roof from that time, untill this Day; it being the 30th of April Anno 1740, and I am now 47 Years and one Month old, as to my living here I have no Reason to complain, as to [Page 50] my dyet, I live temperately, eat sparingly; And since I have been here, and for many Years before, have chiefly drank Water, and at some Times Small-Beer, as to Rum I want none, and as to Wine I don't drink a pint in three Months; I now generally Work part of every Day, following some small timber Business, by which I earn some Money, more than any ever earned here before; the other Part of the Day I can Read, Converse with my Friends, and recollect the past times, generally e­ver since I came here, I have taken some­thing of the care of the close Prisoners, both of the Debtors, Criminals and Con­demned; all which have been kept with safety, tho' before I came, Prison [...]rs us [...]d sometimes to break out, as to thos [...] Debtors that are kept close, I generally find them some Work, or Employment, whereby they can earn their Provisions, and live tolerable Comfortable, without being char­geable either to me or the Publick; where­as they used to live by begging, and some times almost starved, they now wish and pray, that I may continue long here, for their said help and comfort; But I wish I [Page 51] could do better for my Creditors than I am able to do, I have let that Company, viz. my Creditors have considerable Money, and Eff [...]cts since they have confined me, that I could have kept from the [...]; for which some People blame me, because I always have stood ready, and have offered my Creditors to deliver all I had to them, in the best Manner I could, as before relat­ed, if they would have accepted of it on a Settlement; but they have not accepted, and I am now ready to do the same, with­out the least Deceit or Evasion if they would, and more I cannot do, and so I must rest it; tho' I hear most of them con­sent to accept. I have no Blame to lay to their Charge, I believe they proceeded a­gainst me as they did, believing that it would have proved most to their Profit and Safety; yet I conceive their so pro­ceeding has made Things abundantly more dark and difficult than they would have been, and it is not in my Power now to mend it, for my Business lies in a poor un­settled manner in New-England to this Day, and I cannot get any perfect Account from several there that I am concerned with, [Page 52] who had the Goods in Possession, which were seized since my Confinement; and on the whole I cannot see but there will be great Losses to my Creditors, but how much I cannot yet tell, for which I am really sorry from my Heart.

For my own Part, I do not much regard all that hath or is like to fall on me, for I am fully perswaded, that I never have re­ceived any Wrong by any Man, nor by any Creature whatsoever, and am satisfied, That that Affliction, Contradiction and Punishments which I have met with, are all of them not only just, but more abun­dantly I have deserved: And think that if Providence had not raised up, and brought on me all these Troubles that ever I have met with; I might have looked upon Pro­vidence itself to have been unjust to me, and altho' it may be, I have met with as many Troubles and Disappointments, as most Men have done in a common or low Station of Life; yet I can truly say, I have no more Resentments lodged with me on that Account, than a Child or a Servant that well knows he justly deserves for his Misdeeds, many heavy Stripes, and inste [...]d [Page 53] of his recieving them all, he recieved a few, and they but light; for this Reason I take all these Things as light and easy Bur­thens.

As to myself, the Ease, Satisfaction and Content thereof, no Man on Earth can judge, except he feel something of the same Temper of Mind, and just so long as we are hating and resisting the Chastisements and Troubles that Providence brings on us for our Misdeeds, just so far and so long we are overwhelmed in Vexation and Bitter­ness of Mind, having no quiet or Place in ourselves; and thus we are often entrapped in the Plague and Torment of Discontent, untill we give up to a resigned Mind; con­sidering that all our Afflictions are most just, and come from the Head of the Just; and that they would certainly be for our Good, Content and Comfort, if we by the help of Grace, would make a right Appli­cation thereof.

And now, if any would enquire further, how I can account for these Miscarriages and Miscomputations, which I have made; and being brought up but a Plow-Man, how I came to run into such a multiplicity [Page 54] of Business and Inventions that did not proper­ly belong to me, it being beyond my proper Sphere? I answer and say, It was of Co­vetousness in a great Measure, that thus led me out of the Way; for that I had a Mind to get Money, and then let my Mind out to seek after many Inventions to satisfy this my inor­dinate Desire, some of which was commenda­ble, and others not good; and so I entered in­to may Undertakings, which in the End hath not on­ly been a Hurt to me, but to my said Creditors also, as may be observed by what has gone before.

Altho' we see that many Men have erred in Undertakings that did not properly be­long to them, or have reached or strove to reach after those Things which they could not fathom, whereby they have hurt them­selves and others to a ve [...]y great Degree; yet, I cannot justify my self in these Things which I have done.

We see Mankind are failable Creatures even from the Kings to the B [...]gars, they have mightily fallen short of their Pur­poses, some more and some less, as may be seen by those that are a little acquainted with History; they may s [...]e Mistakes made by some of the greatest Men in England, [Page 55] as well as by some of the lowest Degree, [...] many Lords, Dukes and Earls have followed their Schemes and Projections, until they have not only lost thereby their great Lordships and Estates, but enbrued their best Friends Hands in Blood and De­struction; and have by their disappointed Schemes lost their own Heads also.

Now if those mighty Men or Eagles, could but Eagle's Heigth sore,
No Wonder that I a Wren, for a Wren could do no more.
And if we consider frail and conceited Men, and how they come down,
We shall see their Lives full of Misery and Disappointments, tho' they wore a Crown;
So when I consider the World, the Pleasures, Profits, and its Ioys,
I have thought it but fit for foolish Children's Toys.
Where is that mighty Pompey, and Alexander the great?
Have they not [...]ft their Glory, and tumbled into the Den of Common Fate?
And if they have unhapily miss'd the Crown of Peace and Rest,
The Honest dispised [...]eggar is much the Best.
[Page 56]And when this i [...] considered, and found to be the very Case,
Who will not be weary to strain, and run such a painful Race?
But now if [...], by the Help of Grace, the little Time we have to spend,
May lead such a Life, as neither God nor Man to offend;
And if we in this inoffensive Life by Grace can live and steer,
It will remove from us all other Troubles, Fear and Care.
And those that do this Method know, and sweet Life obtain,
Will find in it more Satisfaction and Comfort than in all this World's Gain:
For in this Life there is such Content, Felicity and Rest,
That those that it obtain, are very highly blest.

And now coming towards Conclusion, I believe that there be many of my Friends and Acquaintance that would be glad, to enquire of me, whether I can be content in these Times of my Confinement. To which I Answer; there is several sorts of Content, there is a Content proper to Beasts and Birds, but that is a low and mean sort of [Page 57] Content. For altho' they of them that are strong, glory in their Strength, and delight to [...]a [...]e and devour the Prey, yet the Bear and Lyon may be bereaved of their Whelps, and also miss of their desired Prey, and meet with Sickness and Anguish; and then all their Content is turned [...] Tor­ments and strong Pains; so also there is some sorts of Contents amongst Men of all Ranks and Stations, high and low, which is too much like that of the Beasts, soon ruffled into the utmost Confusion, and so all Content that is amongst Mankind, is low, mean, and to be dispised as not fit to be rested in; except it be only which pro­ceeds from a resigned Mind to the Will of divine Providence; and so far the Minds of Men are reconciled and united to what ever the great wise Order of Providence brings about. So far Mankind may Rest, in an undesturbed Mind, and say from a true principle of Obebience; Thy Will be done, thy Kingdom come.

But now I have been greatly affected, and troubled, that I should become an In­strument to hurt others, either in their Minds or Estates; I have often most sincere­ly [Page 58] Thought, that I could and would wil­lingly suffer the Pains of many Deaths, if it was possible thereby to take away the Damages and Offences from those with whom I have been concerned; but I find that what I cannot possibly bring back must rest as it is.

But sure I am, that I cannot rest nor be Content in any other Temper of Mind, than that I stand ready in singleness of Heart, to do the best for them all, for the future that possible I can. And now I stand open and free to recieve Council from them, and from all others that can advise me in all Things for the best in this pre­sent Cas [...], as also in all Things for the Time to come: And in th [...]s Resolution and Disposition of Mind, I find that Con­tent, that will not be easily taken away. But concerning true Content and Religious Influences, I would in Modesty and Meak­ness have shut my Mouth and held my Pen, because of the Folly that I have been Guilty of, but it is thought a little of the Power of resigned Mind and warmth of Love, that makes me bold to declare what is Truth; and whosoever he be, that knows [Page 59] the Power of a full resigned Mind, well knows, that it makes the Spirit of a Man bolder than a Lyon, and stronger than the Unicorn; the Weights of the Rocks and Hills cannot bear it down, the Flames of Fire cannot consume it, nor the Seas drown it; they live in a Dominion, and Sphear immencely above all created Things, and therefore cannot be bounded nor compre­hended by any, its Strength is only in the Cross of IESUS; and in being resigned, it is found in the deep Valley of Humility, and as it was said by the Darkness of Egypt, it was so great it might be felt, so this is a Light in Opposition to that Darkness, and it never was, nor can be rightly known, on­ly but by being felt, and it is to be felt on­ly in the in most Part, and whosoever do so feel as to find it will see it to be that Grace and Truth that came by IESUS; and it is like the Rod, in the Hand of Moses, when it is held up in the Hand it will prevail; and by the Powers and Won­ders wrought by it, we shall overcome Pharoh, and be brought out of Egypt's bon­dage, and tho' a Sea of Trouble should be before us, and Pharoh left behind, yet by [Page 60] virtue thereof, Deliverance will be found through the Sea, and through the Wilder­ness, for it drives back the Enemy and Temptations and Causes the Water to gush out of the Rock of Consolation and Comfort to the Thirsty, and is a Deliverer to all th [...] fully give up to follow it in singleness of Heart, this Grace and a resign­ed Mind is a pleasant Companion, it is sweeter than the Honey Comb, it will suf­ficiently sweeten all the bitter Waters of this Life, surely this Disposition of Mind will sweeten Death itself, tho' it was in the Flames of Fire; that thro' Grace hath come to a resigned Mind to the Will of Providence, then, and never before then finds in themselves streams of Content that cannot be stoped, tho' they be in Dungeons or Desarts. I have thought that it is like a Spring that is opened in a deep Valley, at the foot of a Mountain, which Stream flows freely, and it is neither the heat and Drouth of Summer, nor the violence of Frost in the coldest Winter, that can stop that Spring from running, it runs sweetly, and will it not run for ever more, tho' sometimes it flows higher for a Time, and [Page 61] then declin's again; yet in its greatest De­clension, there is sweet Waters remain­ing in that Spring, and they that draw at that Spring with all their Might, will find Water enough; for it is of such a Nature, the more one draws thereof, the more plenty is that Water, untill it becomes Ri­vers to Swim in.

And it will float us above the Troubles of this unquiet World, where there is fe­licity and an undesturbed Content, and then if the Sea should Roar, and Tumults arise in the World, yet there remains a Sanctuary to those of a resigned Mind. May we all so resign our own Wills to his Will, who rules in wisdom now and ever more, is that which is heartily desired by,

Your Friend and Well Wisher. IOSIAH QVINBY.

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