The old women weatherwise, an interlude: as performed at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane.

The old women weatherwise, an interlude: as performed at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane.

Table of contents

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Title page

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

THE Old Women Weatherwise.

[Page]

THE Old Women Weatherwise.

Enter TWITCH and CRAMP.

TWITCH.

GOOD-morrow neighbour, how do you do?

CRAMP.

Good-morrow, goody Twitch, to you.

TWITCH.

'Tis sorry weather, neighbour Cramp.

CRAMP.

Ah! very dirty, very damp.

[Page]TWITCH.

By the gnawing in my shoulder,

Before we are a fortnight older,

I fear we worse and worse shall see.

CRAMP.

Ah! that we shall, for my poor knee

Twitches and throbs, and gives me pain;

Depend upon't it brings us rain.

TWITCH.

Nay, I must differ from you there.

I rather think it will be fair;

For by the burning in my toe,

And by this corn of mine—oh!—oh!—

Good lack a-day! it makes me sweat—

Oh! the burning and the heat!

Besides, my cat so whisk'd about,

Up stairs and down made such a rout—

And that's a sign I always find,

That brings us either frost or wind.

[Page]CRAMP.

God send a change, then, very soon!

And! if we judge it by the Moon,

The new one that appear'd last night,

Lay on her back and shone so bright,

That, I assure you, on my word,

She looks as sharp as any sword.

TWITCH.

What says old Sodo?—He has learning,

And, has beside, a quick discerning;

He soon cou'd tell, should he but look

Into his fortune-telling book.

CRAMP.

I saw him scarce three nights ago;

But then he terrified me so,

I could not rest all night in bed,

His story ran so in my head.

Sometimes he called the Moon a punk,

[Page] And said that Neptune made her drunk,

And that she tippled greedily,

Upon the spring-tides of the sea;—

One night (this great fore-teller said)

The Moon was getting into bed,

And in her reelings had the lot,

To break her chrystal chamber pot;

That he attributes one great reason,

Why we have had so wet a season.

TWITCH.

Nay, I myself have seen her rise,

With sanguine nose and blood-shot eyes!

Sometimes, indeed, I've seen her shroud

Her head in shame behind a cloud.—

Say, what's the reason?—

CRAMP.

Why, I think,

As Sodo says, the Moon must drink.

[Page]TWITCH.

If that indeed, should be the case,

I think she's wise to hide her face.

CRAMP.

Once I remember, it was told,

When I was scarcely nine years old;

The earth had been all flooded o'er,

For six and thirty days and more;

'Twas the opinion of the wise,

Who knew the motion of the skies,

The Moon had turn'd her turvy-topsy,

And drank herself into a dropsy;

The reasons given were most various:

Some said the archer Sagittarius,

As he one night was passing by,

He let a bearded arrow fly;

And to this day some folks will tell ye,

He hit the Moon plump in the belly;

Which tapping her, for five weeks a'ter,

She teemed upon the earth her water.

[Page] Other gave out it was her grief,

And that suits most with my belief;

For now too plainly it appears,

She means to drown us with her tears.

TWITCH.

But here comes neighbour Rheum I vow,

Who wears a very thoughtful brow;

I wonder where my lady's been,

She shakes her head; what can she mean?

Enter RHEUM.

RHEUM.

Goodies, I'm glad to see ye—

Health and happiness be wi'ye!

TWITCH.

What news? What news?

[Page]RHEUM.

Sad news, alas!

If what I've heard should come to pass.

CRAMP.

What have you heard?

RHEUM.

Nay I've seen,

A wonder where I lately been;

For, coming home at twelve last night,

I saw a most alarming sight;

No good to this world it portends—

No—that I can assure ye friends.—

TWITCH.

Good lack! you speak and look so bitter,

It sets me in a horrid twitter;

My toothless gums together chatter,

I want, yet fear, to know the matter.

[Page]RHEUM.

Well, well—I'll tell ye all about it—

I'll tell ye truth—ye need not doubt it.—

Last night I saw a flaming comet!

Good gracious heav'n keep us from it!

TWITCH.

A comet!—Pray what says our friend?

RHEUM.

He says the world is near an end:

And I believe his saying's right—

Oh! what a striking, awful sight!

For such a swinging tail it bore,

I never saw the like before.

Nay more—he says—(but that between us)—

'Twill singe the bum of madam Venus!

And what is worse—we're all undone—

'Twill tumble us into the sun.

[Page]TWITCH.

Have mercy on us all I say,

And grant we ne'er may see that day!

RHEUM.

Methinks we hold this theme too long,

What say ye, goodies, to a song.

CRAMP.

With all my heart, and I'll begin,

Tho' I can't sing now worth a pin.

SONG.

O lack-a-day! O lack-a-day!

What shall I do, what shall I say?

Come never think,

But let us drink,

'Till we have wash'd our sins away.

[Page] Then let it snow,

Or let it blow,

[Pulls a bottle out of her pocket.

When we are lin'd with brandy O!

For if we die,

'Twixt you and I,

We have a weary jaunt to go.

[They dance the hays, and then all drink.

RHEUM.

When the horrors grow too strong,

There's nothing kills 'em like a song.

CRAMP.

When song and dance will not prevail,

And all your wise prescriptions fail—

TWITCH.

At such a time, 'tis very handy,

To have hard by a little brandy.

[Page]

SONG.

TWITCH, with the bottle in her hand.

Wet the other eye,

Wet the other eye,

Let's be jolly,

Melancholly

Is a folly;

Then refrain—

'Tis in vain

To complain,

Let us wet the other eye.

[Drinks.

CRAMP.

Wou'd I had lived in David's days,

Or when the pious poet says

The priest were wont their horns to blow—

RHEUM.

Ah! we had been in heaven now!

[Page]

SONG.

Psha! psha! what does it signify,

Whether to-day or to-morrow it prove;

Since we are all of us sure to die,

Let us enjoy the passion we love.

Come let's have a noggin, my goodies, a noggin,

Come let's have a noggin to chear up the heart;

Give me a good cordial, for we must be jogging,

Let's toss off a bumper before we depart.

[Exeunt singing.

N. B. At the conclusion of every song, they amble the hays together, to the tune they have sung.

FINIS.

§

§

[Page]

THE Old Women Weatherwise.

§

§

[Page]

THE Old Women Weatherwise, AN INTERLUDE; As performed at the THEATRE ROYAL IN DRURY-LANE.

LONDON: Printed for S. BLADON, No. 28, Paternoster-Row, 1770. [Price 6d.]

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

[Page]

CRAMP.

Mr. HARTRY.

TWITCH.

Mrs. BRADSHAW.

RHEUM.

Mrs. DORMAN.

Information about this book

Title statement

The old women weatherwise, an interlude: as performed at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane.

Carey, George Saville, 1743-1807.

Publication

Publisher

University of Michigan Library

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Date

2008 September

ID [DLPS]

004852197

ID [ESTC]

T83949

ID [DOCNO]

CW110148032

ID [TCP]

K068460.000

ID [GALEDOCNO]

CW3310148032

ID [CONTENTSET]

ECLL

ID [IMAGESETID]

0058600700

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Source

— The old women weatherwise, an interlude: as performed at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane., Carey, George Saville, 1743-1807..

Extent

18p. ; 8⁰.

printed for S. Bladon,. London :: 1770.. (Anonymous. By George Saville Carey.) (With a half-title.) (Reproduction of original from the British Library.) (English Short Title Catalog, ESTCT83949.) (Electronic data. Farmington Hills, Mich. : Thomson Gale, 2003. Page image (PNG). Digitized image of the microfilm version produced in Woodbridge, CT by Research Publications, 1982-2002 (later known as Primary Source Microfilm, an imprint of the Gale Group).)

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