LETTER I.

I SHALL now, according to my Promise, send you some Observa­tions upon the Rape of the Lock, which is one of the last Imitations of the little mimicking Bard, and one of the most impertinent; to so high a Degree impertinent, that I am afraid of being [Page 2] accus'd of writing a Satire upon Nothing, as my Lord Rochester wrote a Panegyrick.

The Faults of this ridiculous Poem begin at the Title-Page. I will not insist upon the fantastical Composition of the Word Heroi­Comical; but I desire Leave to dwell a little upon the Thing. What can this Author mean by creating in his Readers an Expectation of Pleasantry, when there is not so much as one Jest in his Book? Of all Blockheads he is the most emphatically Dull, who, to an insipid tedious Tale, prefixes this impertinent Pre­lude; Now, Gentlemen, expect a very good Jest! Now, my Masters, prepare to laugh! Instead of Heroi-Comical, it should have been Heroi Tragical, since it seems there was a Necessity for a fantastical Word: For there is a great deal of Tragedy in this Poem, but not one Jot of Comedy. But at the same Time there is nothing so Tragical in it, as what the Author designs for Comedy: For when­ever he aims at a Jest, 'tis such sad deplora­ble Stuff, that he never fails to move Compas­sion by it.

But now, Sir, to pass from the Title-Page to the Dedication; he need not have been at the Trouble of acquainting his fair Patroness, that he publish'd what he calls his Poem, be­fore he had thought of what he calls his Ma­chinery: For the Book would have told her that, without the Epistle. For what he calls [Page 3] his Machinery has no Manner of Influence upon what he calls his Poem, not in the least promoting, or preventing, or retarding the Action of it; as we shall shew more plainly when we come to treat of the Machines. He has taken his Machines, he tells us, from the Rosycrucians; and 'tis with them, he tells his fair Patroness, that he must bring her ac­quainted. And how bring her acquainted? Why, he must tell her what the Count de Ga­balis says of them, who has given, it seems, the best Account that he knows of them. If he had not too much Pride, the natural ne­cessary Consequence of his Capacity, to be in­structed; (for my Lord Roscomon is certainly in the Right, when he tells us, that

I would direct him to a better Account of them, which is to be found in a Writer of our own, who is infinitely a better Judge both of Persons and Things, than the fantastick Count de Gabalis: and That is the most ingenious and most judicious Author of Hudibras, who has given this short Account of the Rosycrucians, in his Comment upon two Lines which are to be found in the Character of Ralpho, the facetious Squire of Hudibras, Canto I. Part 1. [Page 4] and which two I have chosen for the Motto to these Letters.

The short Comment upon which is this:

And then upon the Words Verè Adeptus, says he,

Thus, if we will believe Butler, who, as we said before, is an admirable Judge both of Books and of Mankind, this judicious Author of the Rape has taken what he calls his Ma­chinery, from the Phanatick Extravagance of the most ridiculous of all modern Sots; as their Predecessors the Gnostici were the most con­temptible ones of all the Antient; a Sect that is as becoming of this merry little Gentleman, as it was of the facetious Squire of Hudibras. And now tell me in good Earnest, Sir, is not the Fair Lady infinitely oblig'd to him for her new Acquaintance? [Page 5] an Acquaintance very unbecoming Her, tho' very becoming of Him.

Thus, Sir, have I done with the Title-Page and the Epistle. I shall proceed to Morrow upon the Body of the Book. In the mean time I will assure you for your Comfort, that you shall never have a Letter of above a Sheet of Paper at a Time upon this impertinent Sub­ject. I am, Sir,

LETTER II.

I HOPE mine of the first of this Month came to your Hands, which contain'd some Reflections upon the Dedication and Title­Page of the Rape of the Lock; which latter creates an Expectation of Pleasantry in us, when there is not so much as one Jest in the Book.

[Page 6] How much more judiciously does Boileau ap­pear in the Title-Page of his Lutrin? In a sottish Emulation of which, this and seve­ral late fantastick Poems appear both to you and me to have been writ. Boileau calls his Lutrin an Heroick Poem, and he is so far from raising an Expectation of Laughter, either in the Title, or in the Beginning of the Poem, that he tells Monsieur de Lamoignon, to whom he addresses it, that 'tis a grave Subject, and must be read with a grave Countenance.

Butler modestly calls his Poem, by the Name of his Hero, Hudibras; and without endeavouring to prepossess his Reader, leaves the Poem itself to work its natural Effect upon him.

But now, Sir, since I have said that the Rape of the Lock seems to be writ in Imita­tion of the Lutrin, (I mean so far in Imitation, that the Author had a Mind to get Reputa­tion by writing a great many Verses upon an inconsiderable Subject, as Boileau appears to have done before him;) I believe it will not be disagreeable to you, if I shew the Difference between the Lutrin and this fantastick Poem.

The Rape of the Lock is a very empty Trifle, without any Solidity or sensible Mean­ing; whereas the Lutrin is only a Trifle in [Page 7] Appearance, but under that Appearance car­ries a very grave and very important Instruc­tion: For if that Poem were only what it ap­pears to be, Boileau would run counter to the fam'd Rule which he has prescrib'd to others.

And which Horace has given before him.

And the Rule which my Lord Roscomon has given for Translations, is certainly more strong for Originals.

[Page 8] Now since 'tis impossible that so judicious an Author as Boileau should run counter to his own, and to the Instructions of his Master Horace, the Lutrin at the Bottom cannot be an empty Trifle. 'Tis indeed a noble and im­portant satirical Poem, upon the Luxury, the Pride, the Divisions, and Animosities of the Popish Clergy. 'Tis true indeed the admirable Address of the Poet has made it in Appear­ance a Trifle; for otherwise it would not have been suffer'd in a bigotted Popish Country. But yet Boileau in some Places seems to have given broad Hints at what was his real Mean­ing; as in the following Passage.

And this other Passage is still more bold.

As the Rape of the Lock is an empty Trifle, it can have no Fable nor any Moral; whereas the Lutrin has both Fable and Moral. 'Tis true, indeed, the Allegory under which that Moral is conceal'd, is not so perspicuous as Boileau would have made it, if it had not been for the Apprehension of provoking the [Page 9] Clergy. But, on the other Side, 'tis not so obscure, but that a penetrating Reader may see through it. The Moral is, That when Chri­stians, and especially the Clergy, run into great Heats about religious Trifles, their Animosity proceeds from the Want of that Religion which is the Pretence of their Quarrel. The Fable is this; ‘Two Persons being deserted by true Piety, are embroil'd about a religious Trifle, to the Perplexity and Confusion of them and theirs: Upon the Return of Piety, they agree to set aside the Trifle about which they dif­fer'd, and are reconcil'd, to the Quiet and Satisfaction both of themselves and their Partizans.’

If you will be pleased to compare the Be­ginning of the Sixth Canto with the rest of the Poem, you will easily see that this Ac­count which I have given of the Lutrin is not without Foundation. But you know very well, Sir, that there is not the least Shadow of a Mo­ral or Fable in the Rape.

As nothing could be more ridiculous than the writing a full, an exact, and a regular Cri­ticism upon so empty a Business as this trifling Poem; I will say but a Word or two con­cerning the Incidents, and so have done with what relates immediately to the Design. The Intention of the Author in writing this Poem, as we find in the Title-Page, is to raise the Mirth of the Reader; and we find by the Ef­fects which Hudibras and the Lutrin produce [Page 10] in us, that Butler and Boileau wrote with the same Intention. Now you know very well, Sir, that in a Poem which is built upon an Action, Mirth is chiefly to be rais'd by the Incidents. For Laughter in Comedy is chiefly to be excited, like Terror and Compassion in Tragedy, by Surprize, when Things spring from one another against our Expectation. Now whereas there are several ridiculous In­cidents in the Lutrin, as, The Owl in the Pul­pit frighting the nocturnal Champions; The Prelate's giving his Benediction to his Adversa­ry, by way of Revenge and Insult; The Bat­tle in the Bookseller's Shop, &c. And where­as there are a thousand such in Hudibras; There is not so much as one, nor the Shadow of one, in the Rape of the Lock: Unless the Au­thor's Friends will object here, That his perpe­tual Gravity, after the Promise of his Title, makes the whole Poem one continued Jest.

LETTER III.

I COME now to the Characters and the Machines. The Characters in the Lutrin are well mark'd. They are the true Resem­blances of Men, of active Men, who pursue earnestly what they are about. But there is no such Thing as a Character in the Rape of the Lock. Belinda, who appears most in it, is a Chimera, and not a Character. She is repre­sented by the Author perfectly beautiful and well-bred, modest and virtuous. Let us now see how he sustains these Qualities in her, and then we shall discover what Taste he has of Nature and of Decorum.

First then he represents her perfectly beau­tiful:

And thus in the next Page the Sylphs ac­cost her: [Page 12]

And yet in the latter End of this very Canto he makes her owe the greater Part of her Beau­ty to her Toilette:

Nay, the very favourite Lock, which is made the Subject for so many Verses, is not shewn so desirable for its native Beauty, as for the con­stant Artifice employ'd about it. Witness what Thalestris says to Belinda just after she had lost it:

Such Artifice must deface the Lustre of Locks which were naturally lovely; and the Toilette must of Necessity detract from perfect Beauty. The Toilette indeed may add to some who are call'd Beauties, or to some who would be thought such. A decay'd superannuated Beau­ty may receive Advantage from her Toilette, may rise in her Charms, and by the Help of Spanish Red, a purer Blush may arise. But her counterfeit Charms can please none who have a Taste of Nature; according to that of Ti­bullus:

But for her who has Youth and Beauty;

[Page 14] Such a one wants neither Flounce nor Furbe­low, nor torturing Irons, nor Paper Durance. When God and Nature design a Face to please, the Fair-one, on whom they bestow it, can ne­ver add to Workmanship Divine. She may spoil it indeed by Industry, but can never im­prove it. They, who made it, alone know the certain Ways of going to the Heart of Man, and alone can give it those resistless inimitable Graces which Industry does but spoil, and which Artifice does but hide.

Horace was as fond of his Mistress's Hair as any modern Lover can be: Witness what he says to Maecenas in the twelfth Ode of the se­cond Book;

And yet as he and the rest of the antient Poets had an admirable Taste of Nature, they had quite another Taste of Beauty than what this Author discovers; and believ'd that the brightest Ornament, either of the Hair or Face, was Simplicity and a becoming Negligence.

Says Horace to Pyrrha, Ode V. Lib. 1.

[Page 15] And in the eleventh Ode of Lib. 2.

Terence, who every where so exactly imi­tates Nature, takes a quite different Course from this Author to shew a touching Beauty. The Passage is in the first Act of his Phormio:

Here was no Care, neither of Hair, nor Face, nor Shape, and yet how much more charming does this Terentian Virgin appear, ev'n in Rags and Misery, than Belinda does at her Toilette? I mean to those who have a Taste of Nature. For she, who ev'n in this miserable Plight mov'd all Beholders with Pleasure, and Anti­pho with Love, what might she not justly be suppos'd to do, adorn'd with a cleanly Negli­gence and Simplicity? I say, adorn'd with them; for it may truly be said of every ac­complish'd Beauty, what Tasso says of one of his: [Page 16]

And our Ladies who spend so much Time at their Toilettes would do well to consider, that, after all the Pains which they take in adorning themselves, they who are most charm'd with their Persons, endeavour to retrieve their natu­ral Beauty in Imagination at least, by divesting them of their borrow'd Ornaments, and cloathing them in the Simplicity of the rural Habit, when in their Sonnets they transform them to Shepherdesses.

But the Author has not only shewn Belinda an accomplish'd Beauty; he represents her likewise a fine, modest, well-bred Lady:

And a little below,

And yet in the very next Canto she appears an arrant Ramp and a Tomrigg;

[Page 17] Must not this be the legitimate Offspring of Stentor, to make such a Noise as that? The Nymph was within Doors, and she must set up her Throat at a hellish Rate, to make the Woods (where, by the by, there are none) and the Canals reply to it. Let us turn to the fifth Canto, and we shall see her there as loud with Anger, as she is now with Joy:

Well, but his Friends will object here, that this is an Hyperbole; and an Hyperbole is de­sign'd to carry us beyond the Truth, only that it may make us enter more justly into it: and that when Virgil says of Camilla,

He means only that Camilla was exceeding swift of Foot: Why, be it so. But then by the same Rule, must not the Author of the Rape mean, that Belinda shouted and roar'd [Page 18] very loud; and that, in short, she made a diabolick Din? Now is Shouting and Roaring proper for a well-bred Lady? Are they not below the Modesty and the Decency even of those sonorous Nymphs of the Flood, who haunt the Banks of the vocal Thames between the Bridge and the Tower?

Let us look once more upon the last Canto, p. 44. Is she not a terrible Termagant there, and the exact Resemblance of Magnano's Lady in Hudibras?

But Belinda is not only shewn beautiful and well-bred, she is represented virtuous too:

And yet in the latter End of the fourth Canto she talks like an errant Suburbian:

Thus, Sir, has this Author given his fine La­dy Beauty and good Breeding, Modesty and Virtue in Words, but has in Reality and in Fact made her an artificial dawbing Jilt; [Page 19] a Tomrig, a Virago, and a Lady of the Lake.

There is no other Character in this Poem worth taking Notice of. I should now come to the Machines, in which you might expect to be entertain'd with something more curious and more ridiculous. But I have already de­tain'd you too long, and must defer it till the next Opportunity.

LETTER IV.

ACcording to the Promise made in my last, I am now to treat of the Machines; in the doing which I shall lie under a great Dis­advantage: For before I come to those of the Rape, it is necessary to say something of Ma­chines in general, of the Reason of introdu­cing them, of the Method us'd by the antient Poets in employing them, and of the Prac­tice of the greatest and best of the Moderns. [Page 20] 'Tis necessary to say something to all these, in order to shew the Absurdity of our Author's Machines, and his utter Ignorance of the Art he pretends to. But to treat of all these in as ample a Manner as the Subject deserves, would require a Volume: And on the other Side, it would be extravagant to spend a great deal of Time to so insignificant an End. But when I consider that I write to a Gentleman who is perfectly well vers'd in these Matters, and who consequently will comprehend a great deal by a little, I find to my Comfort that it will be easy to avoid both those Inconveniences, of saying a great deal, and of saying no­thing.

The Reasons, that first oblig'd those Poets which are call'd Heroic to introduce Machines into their Poems, were,

First, To make their Fable and their Action more instructive: For, says Bossu, ‘Lorsque les poetes sont devenus philosophes moraux, ils n' ont pas cessé d'etre theologiens. Au con­traire, la morale quils traitent, les oblige indispensablement, de méler la divinité dans leurs Ouvrages; parceque la conoissance, la crainte, & l' amour de Dieu, en un mot, la piete, & la religion sont les premiers, & les plus solides fondements, des autres vertus, & de tout la morale.’

By introducing Machines into their Fables, the Epic Poets shew'd two Things, 1. That the great Revolutions in human Affairs are influenc'd [Page 21] by a particular Providence. 2. That the Deity himself promotes the Success of an Action form'd by Virtue, and conducted by Prudence. But,

Secondly, The Heroic Poets introduc'd Ma­chines into their Fables in order to make those Fables more delightful: For the employing Machines made the Actions of those Poems wonderful; now every Thing that is wonder­ful is of course delightful. Let us see what one of the greatest Masters among the Mo­derns says to this:

This says the most judicious M. Despreaux in his Art of Poetry; and the four last Lines remind me here of what I have at large discours'd upon other Occasions, viz. That as the Epic Poets by their Machines made the Actions of their Fables more wonderful and more delightful, as well as more instructive; they likewise made the poetical Expression more wonderful and more delightful, since 'tis from them that they chiefly derive that Greatness of Expression which renders their Works so Divine.

I shall now come to the Practice of the an­tient Poets, and the Method which they made use of in introducing their Machines, in order to render their Poems more instructive and more delightful.

• 1. They took their Machines from the Re­ligion of their Country, upon which Account these Machines made the stronger Impression, and made their Fables, and the Actions of them, probable as well as wonderful; for no­thing was more natural than for those antient Heathens to believe that the Powers which they ador'd were wont to intermeddle in human [Page 23] Affairs, and to promote the Success of those Designs which they favour'd; and nothing could be more natural for them, than to be­lieve that that Design must prosper which was espous'd by Jupiter. But this was not all; for the Machines, by making the Actions of their Poems probable, made them wonderful to Men of Sense, who never can admire any Thing in Humanity which Reason will not let them believe. But,
• 2. The antient Poets made their Machines allegorical, as well as their human Persons.
• 3. They oppos'd them to one another.
• 4. They shew'd a just Subordination among them, and a just Proportion between their Functions. While one was employ'd about the greatest and the sublimest Things, ano­ther was not busied about the most trifling and most contemptible.
• 5. They always made their Machines in­fluence the Actions of their Poems; and some of those Machines endeavour'd to advance the Action of their respective Poem, and others of them endeavour'd to retard it.
• 6. They made them infinitely more power­ful than the human Persons.

But, Secondly, The Practice of the greatest modern Heroic Poets is conformable to that of the antient.

• [Page 24]1. They take their Machines from the Re­ligion of their Country; witness Milton, Cow­ley, Tasso.
• 2. They make them Allegorical.
• 3. They oppose them to one another.
• 4. They shew a just Subordination among them, and a just Proportion between their Functions.

The Author of the Rape has run counter to this Practice both of the Antients and Moderns. He has not taken his Machines from the Religion of his Country, not from any Religion, nor from Morality. His Machines contradict the Doctrines of the Christian Re­ligion, contradict all sound Morality; there is no allegorical nor sensible Meaning in them; and for these Reasons they give no Instruction, make no Impression at all upon the Mind of a sensible Reader. Instead of making the Ac­tion wonderful and delightful, they render it extravagant, absurd, and incredible. They do not in the least influence that Action; they neither prevent the Danger of Belinda, nor promote it, nor retard it, unless, perhaps, it may be said, for one Moment, which is ridi­culous. And if here it be objected, that the Author design'd only to entertain and amuse; To that I answer, That for that very Reason he ought to have taken the utmost Care to [Page 25] make his Poem probable, according to the im­portant Precept of Horace.

And that we may be satisfy'd that this Rule is founded in Reason and Nature, we find by constant Experience, that any thing that shocks Probability is most insufferable in Comedy.

There is no Opposition of the Machines to one another in this Rape of the Lock. Um­briel the Gnome is not introduc'd till the Action is over, and till Ariel and the Spirits under him, have quitted Belinda.

There is no just Subordination among these Machines, nor any just Proportion between their Functions. Ariel summons them together, and talks to them as if he were their Em­peror.

Now, Sir, give me leave to ask you one Question: Did you ever hear before that the Planets were roll'd by the aerial Kind? We have heard indeed of Angels and Intelli­gences who have perform'd these Functions: But they are vast glorious Beings, of Celestial Kind, and Machines of another System. Pray which of the aerial Kind have these sublime Employments? For nothing can be more ri­diculous, or more contemptible, than the Em­ployments of those whom he harangues

There is a Difference almost infinite between these vile Functions and the former sublime ones, and therefore they can never belong to Beings of the same Species. Which of the aerial Kinds are the Movers of Orbs on high, or the Guardians of Empires below; when he who calls himself their Chief, is only the Keeper of a vile Iseland Cur, and has not so [Page 27] much as the Intendance of the Lady's Favourite Lock, which is the Subject of the Poem? But that is entrusted to an inferior Spirit, con­trary to all manner of Judgment and De­corum.

The Machines that appear in this Poem are infinitely less considerable than the human Per­sons, which is without Precedent. Nothing can be so contemptible as the Persons, or so foolish as the Understandings of these Hob­goblins. Ariel's Speech, for the first thirty Lines, is one continu'd Impertinence: For, if what he says is true, he tells them nothing but what they knew as well as himself before. And when he comes at length to the Point, he is full as impertinent as he was in his Ramble before; for after he has talk'd to them of black Omens and dire Disasters that threa­ten his Heroine, these Bugbears dwindle to the breaking a Piece of China, the staining a Pet­ticoat, the losing a Necklace, a Fan, or a Bot­tle of Sal Volatile. But we shall consider this Passage further when we come to examine the Sentiments; and then we shall see, that Sawny takes the Change here, and 'tis He, a little Lump of Flesh, that talks; instead of a little Spirit.

That which makes this Speech more ridicu­lous, is the Place where it is spoken, and that is upon the Sails and Cordage of Belinda's Barge; which is certainly taken from the two Kings of Brentford descending in Clouds, and [Page 28] singing in the Style of our modern Spirits.

But now, Sir, for the Persons of these Sylphs and Sylphids, you see what Ideas the Threats of Ariel give us of them, when he threatens them, that for their Neglect they shall

Discord is describ'd by Homer with her Feet upon the Earth, and Head in the Skies: Upon which Longinus cries out, That this is not so much the Measure of Discord, as of Homer's Capacity, and Elevation of Genius. Ev'n so these diminutive Beings of the intellectual World, may be said to be the Measure of Mr. Pope's Capacity and Elevation of Genius. They are, indeed, Beings so diminutive, that they bear the same Proportion to the rest of the intellectual, that Eels in Vinegar do to the rest of the material World. The latter are only to be seen thro' Microscopes, and the former only thro' the false Optics of a Rosycrucian Under­standing.

[Page 29] I shall mention but one or two more of the numerous Defects which are to be found in the Machines of this Poem; the one is, The Spirits, which he intends for benign ones, are malignant, and those, which he designs for malignant, are beneficent to Mankind. The Gnomes he intends for malignant, and the Sylphs for beneficent Spirits. Now the Sylphs in this Poem promote that Female Vanity which the Gnomes mortify. And Vanity is not only a great Defect in Human Nature, but the Mother of a thousand Errors, and a thou­sand Crimes, and the Cause of most of the Misfortunes which are incident to Huma­nity.

The last Defect that I shall take notice of, is, That the Machines in this Poem are not ta­ken from one System, but are double, nay tre­ble or quadruple. In the first Canto we hear of nothing but Sylphs, and Gnomes, and Sa­lamanders, which are Rosycrucian Visions. In the second we meet with Fairies, Genii, and Daemons, Beings which are unknown to those Fanatick Sophisters. In the fourth, Spleen and the Phantoms about, are deriv'd from the Powers of Nature, and are of a separate System. And Fate and Jove, which we find in the fifth Canto, belong to the Heathen Re­ligion.

But now, Sir, in treating of these Matters, I have, before I perceiv'd it, transgress'd the [Page 30] Bounds which I prescrib'd to my self, which I desire that you would excuse.

LETTER V.

I HAVE now shewn that there is no such Thing as a Fable or Characters in the Poem of the Rape, and that what he calls his Machinery is most extravagantly chosen. I now come to the Sentiments, which are more absurd than the rest, and of such an odd Com­position, that they are at one and the same Time both trivial and extravagant.

The Absurdity of the Sentiments begins with the Book, and the Author stumbles at the Threshold.

[Page 31] Where in three Lines there are no less than two Errors in the Sentiments. For, in the first Place, tho' the Author has neither Fable nor general Action, yet he proposes to sing something general, rather than that particular Action which is the Subject of his Poem, and he begins as if he design'd to make the Rea­der expect a Treatise of Love-Quarrels; which Proceeding is just contrary to the Practice of Homer, and Virgil, and to the Dictates of right Reason. Homer and Virgil had ac­complish'd Fables, and their Actions at the Bottom were universal and allegorical: Yet they each of them propos'd to sing these Actions, as they had particulariz'd them by the Imposition of Names. Homer begins thus:

And Virgil thus:

In the third Line he does not invoke the Muse to sing, but proposes to do it himself: And tho' he names the Muse immediately af­terwards, he does it, forsooth, to acquaint her, that 'tis not she, but Belinda, that is to in­spire him:

So that he has desir'd no Assistance from the Muse, and none she has afforded him.

The Muse indeed could not possibly assist him in this Case. The Muse is a Machine like Fate and Jove, belonging originally to the Ethnic System, and transferr'd sometimes to the Christian Religion only allegorically; and the Muse cannot be suppos'd to bring him acquainted with Rosycrucian Spirits, which would destroy her own Divinity, either as Heathen or Christian, since they are Beings utterly unknown, either to the Ethnic System, or to the Christian Religion: So that 'tis Be­linda, and not the Muse, that is to inspire him. He introduces her into the Acquaintance of the Sylphs and Sylphids in his Epistle, and she is to bring him acquainted with them in the Body of the Book. And now, Sir, is not this very ingeniously, and very judiciously contriv'd? He has desir'd no Assistance from the Muse, and, as I said before, none he has had from her. The whole Poem seems to have been infus'd by a Coquette, and not inspir'd by a Muse.

I have already acquainted you, Sir, that I would not in the Examen of this Poem confine my self to an exact and regular Method: For neither is the Subject worth the while, nor [Page 33] ought a Letter to a Friend to be writ with any Restraint. I shall therefore take the Sentiments of this Poem as they come in my way, without pretending to rank them under their respective Classes, excepting perhaps the Puns, which are numerous, and by which the Author fre­quently shocks not only the Dictates of Good Sense, and the Rules of true Pleasantry, but those of Grammar and common English. But those we shall omit till we have done with the rest.

There is in this first Canto, pag. 4. a very unlucky Imitation of a Passage in the sixth Book of Virgil.

Which the Author of the Rape has thus imi­tated:

Now there is this remarkable Difference be­tween these two Passages, that what Virgil [Page 34] says of the Souls in the Elysian Fields, that they were pleas'd with the same Diversions after Death, of which they were fond in their Life-times, does by no means contradict any Doctrine of that Religion which the Romans deriv'd from the Grecians; but the Passage in the Rape shocks the fundamental Doctrines of the Christian Religion, and is therefore a most absurd Imitation.

I have already shewn, in speaking of the Characters, how injudicious all that Passage is, in the 8th and 9th Pages, which relates to the Toilette: And as I do not pretend to shew all his Errors, but only some few which are very gross ones, I shall now pass to the second Canto; in which Canto, pag. 11. there is a Remark that cannot but be the Effect of ve­ry wise and very deep Observation:

That is to say, Birds are caught by the Heels, and Fish by the Jaws, with Horse-Hair; and Men are hamper'd by the Souls with Wo­man's Hair. Tell me truly, Sir, is not this the Effect of very wise and very deep Obser­vation? I have been so taken with these four Verses, that I could not forbear making the four following in Imitation of them.

In this second Canto, pag. 12. we have ano­ther Imitation of Virgil, and one ten times more unhappy than the former in the first Canto. The Passage of Virgil is in the second Book of the Aeneis:

That is to say, If a Captain obtains a Victory, few enquire whether he ow'd it to Stratagem or open Force.

The Imitation is included in the following Lines:

Now the Mischief of it is, that if a Lover ob­tains his Ends by Force, the whole Country makes a very severe Enquiry into it, by their [Page 36] Representative, a petty Jury; and if he hap­pens to be convicted of it, in that Case poor Culprit passes his Time but scurvily.

In the Letter, which I lately sent you con­cerning the Characters, I mention'd several of the Sentiments which are to be found in Ariel's Speech: But I know not how I omitted that which follows:

Where, Sir, 'tis easy to observe, that as 'tis Belinda's Petticoat of which he commits the important Charge to the Sylphs; 'tis the Pet­ticoat of the same Belinda, according to all English Meaning, and all true grammatical Construction, that he has known so often to fail in spight of the Hoops of Whalebone. And now I leave you to judge if there was not Reason for telling Mrs. Arabella, in the Epistle, that Madam Belinda was not like her.

There seems indeed to be a terrible Shock made upon the same Petticoat, in the Begin­ning of the fifth Canto, pag. 42.

[Page 37] By tough Whalebones he cannot mean those of the Fans, for they are limber enough. Be­sides, Fans were mention'd in the Beginning of this last Verse. The tough Whale-bones then, at he latter End of it, are those of the Petticoat, and could not possibly be heard to crack, unless a violent Attack had been made upon it.

At the Bottom of Pag. 15. Canto III. there is a very notable Thought:

Now what was this new Stratagem, or these new Stratagems? Why, the Baron comes be­hind Belinda as she was drinking her Coffee, and, snap, off goes the Lock. Now if this was the new Stratagem, what in the Name of Impertinence could be the old one?

But the profoundest and wisest Reflections of all, are at the End of this third Canto.

Why, who the Devil, besides this Bard, ever made a Wonder of it? What! before Troy Town, and triumphal Arches were built, was the cutting off a Lock of Hair a miraculous Thing? But we may very properly apply what he says of Steel, and the cutting off a Lock of Hair to Fire, and the burning of a Faggot.

But, Sir, I have once more unawares transgress'd the Bounds prescrib'd to my self, and am,

LETTER VI.

THE Complaint which you make of my long Silence, and the Interruption of this weighty Affair, seems to be a Return to that Compliment which I design'd to make you, by discontinuing my Observations upon these arrant Bawbles. It was in Complaisance to you that I began to make them; and it was out of Respect to your Judgment that I left them off. They began to run into Length, and I thought I might as reasonably entertain you with voluminous Remarks upon Mites in Cheese, or upon Eels in Vinegar, as with te­dious Observations on Mr. Pope's Poems.

But since 'tis your Desire that I should make an end of what I have begun. I am resolv'd to comply with it, as far as my Indisposition, and my Affairs, and the Satiety which I have con­tracted in saying so much already, will permit me. For the Difficulty here does not lie in making Remarks, but in Reading. The Faults are so gross and so numerous, that there is no more Pleasure in finding them, than there is in hunting in a Hare-Warren.

[Page 40] I am now come to the Sentiments, which are to be found in the fourth and fifth Cantos of this notable Poem. I shall only take no­tice of a very few, by which you and your Friends may judge of the whole.

The first Thing I shall take notice of, is the impertinent Journey of Umbriel the Gnome, who

Now to what Purpose does this fantastick Being take this Journey? Why, to give Be­linda the Spleen. In order to which, Spleen equips him with a Bottle and a Bag, as a Country Dame does her Plough-Jobber, to equip him for his Day's Work.

Now what could be more impertinent than this Journey of Umbriel, or more vain and [Page 41] useless than this Gift of Spleen, whether we look upon the Bag or the Bottle?

Umbriel descends to the central Earth to give Belinda the Spleen. Now 'tis plain, that before his Descent he leaves her mad, and up­on his Return, finds her in a Fit of the Mother.

That before his Journey he leaves her mad, is I think pretty plain, from pag. 28.

That upon his Return he finds her in a Fit of the Mother, is manifest from p. 35.

How absurd was it then for this Ignis Fatuus to take a Journey down to the central Earth, for no other Purpose than to give her the Spleen, whom he left and found in the Height of it? And why does this impertinent Devil, who sees this, give himself the Trouble which he takes in the following Lines:

Now, pray, what were the Furies enclos'd in this Bag? Why we were told what they were a little higher, viz. the Force of female Lungs, and Bedlam Passions, and the War of Tongues. Now could Belinda have more of those than she had before the Gnome took his Journey?

And as for the Bottle, that seems like Trinca. lo's, rather to comfort her, than to ferment her more. For let us but consider the Condi­tion in which Umbriel found her upon his Return;

That is to say, she was stark mad.

Now let us compare this Condition with that in which she appears after she has a Dram of the Bottle?

Now, pray, what is the Consequence? Why Be­linda of a sudden comes to herself, holds up [Page 43] her Head, and is calm enough to make Re­flections.

The next Thing I shall take notice of, is the Equipage of Spleen, and this Author's giving her two Handmaids, the one of which ought rather to be her Mother than her Maid, and the other can have nothing at all to do with her.

Here the Author, with a great deal of Judg­ment makes a Universal subordinate to a Par­ticular. Ill-Nature may with some Colour be said to be the Mother of Spleen, but she can never be call'd her Maid, without shocking common Sense. The Nature of a Man must be coeval to the Man, and must far precede any Thing that the World calls Spleen in him. But let us take a View of her other Hand­maid, pag. 32.

Now Affectation can never have any Thing to do with Spleen. Spleen is the Mother of Passion, which is Nature; Affectation is the Child of Tranquillity, and for the most part is nothing but counterfeit Passion. Now he, who has violent Passions of his own, is hardly [Page 44] at leisure to counterfeit those which are foreign to him; and therefore it has been often seen, that when too much Felicity has made a Fop affected, Spleen and Adversity have brought him back to Nature.

I will not take notice of the various Er­rors in the Description of what he calls the Palace of Spleen. I shall content myself with the Mention of one of them, which may not improperly be call'd the impossible Transfor­mation.

Now, Sir, I appeal to you and your Friends, if ever there was such execrable Stuff, such la­mentable, such deplorable Pleasantry! What says Horace?

Good Sense is the sole Foundation of good Wri­ting. And, according to him, Boileau;

[Page 45] Good Sense is the only Foundation both of Pleasantry and Sublimity: But that which is out of Truth, is certainly out of Nature and Good Sense. Now was ever any Thing more out of Truth than the foregoing Description? Instead of giving Spleen a Power to bring me­lancholy Delusions upon Mortals, and to cheat them with false Appearances, this Author gives her the Power really to transform Bodies, and makes Umbriel the Gnome, who, as a Spi­rit, is suppos'd to see Things as they are, actually and really to behold that extravagant Trans­formation. But so much for the Sentiments of the fourth Canto.

As the fifth is very short, and very insipid, and as your humble Servant is very much tir'd, I shall make but two Observations upon it.

In the Beginning of it there is a rampant Scuffle, which I suppose our Author took from the Rankness of a Buttock-Ball, so little is it becoming of Persons of Condition.

[Page 46] The latter Part is something odd in the Mouth of the Translator of Homer, who ought to know, that both Mars and Venus had been wounded by Diomedes. But if no common Weapons are found in the Hands of these Combatants, pray what Weapons are they which make the Silks to rustle, and the Whale­bones to crack? But let us consider what follows:

Now, Sir, who says that this Passage is not very justly applied to a Catterwauling? But the latter Part of it is not taken from Homer, but from his most impertinent Imitator Mon­sieur De la Motte, and neither the one nor the other Trifler seem to have known any thing in this Passage, of the Solemnity, and the dreadful Majesty of Homer.

In the Beginning of the next Page the fol­lowing Lines are full of miserable Pleasantry:

So that here we have a real Combat and a metaphorical dying. Now is not that, Sir, very ludicrous? What, did he fight, or make Love, as Professors read, or as Popes fulmi­nate ex Cathedrâ? I cannot imagine how he could do that, unless he had got Belinda or Thalestris upon his Lap.

Thus, Sir, have I gone thro' several of the Sentiments upon the Rape, which are either trifling, or false. But there are a great many Lines, which have no Sentiment at all in them, that is, no reasonable Meaning. Such are the Puns which are every where spread throughout it. Puns bear the same Propor­tion to Thought, that Bubbles hold to Bodies, and may justly be compared to those gaudy Bladders which Children make with Soap; which, tho' they please their weak Capacities with a momentary Glittering, yet are but just beheld, and vanish into Air. Of this Nature is that Pun in the 5th Canto, p. 44.

That is to say, He wish'd for nothing more than to fight with her, because he desired no­thing more than to lie with her. Now what sensible Meaning can this have, unless he takes her for a Russian, who is to grow pas­sionately fond of him by the extraordinary Gallantry of a lusty Bastinado? Such like­wise is that Quibble in the following Page:

Now we heard nothing before of the Baron's lying low. All that we heard is, that by a dextrous Toss of this modest Virgin, his No­strils were fill'd with Snuff. So that he seems here to say the same thing to her, that Nykin says to Cocky in the Old Batchelor; I have it in my Head, but you will have it in another Place. What follows seems to be very ex­traordinary:

[Page 33] Now, Sir, who ever heard of a dead Man that burnt in Cupid's Flames?

Of the same Nature are those numerous Banters in Rhyme, which are to be found throughout this Poem, which are so uniform, and so much of a piece, that one would swear the Author were giving a Receipt for dry Joking: For by placing something important in the Beginning of a Period, and making something very trifling follow it, he seems to take pains to bring something into a Conjun­ction Copulative with nothing, in order to be­get nothing. Of this there are divers Instances in Ariel's Speech in the 2d Canto;

Which, by the way, I suppose is design'd as a bitter Bob for the Predestinarians. Raillery apart, we pretend not to deny, that the very minutest Events are foredoom'd by eternal Pre­science; but that Heave [...] should give notice of the Death of a vile Dog, by what he calls black Omens, is a great deal too strong. Hea­ven could do no more for Caesar himself, the [Page 34] very Top of the human Creation, and the Fore­most Man of the Universe.

But now, Sir, give me leave to ask you one Question: Is Ariel in Jest or in Earnest, in haranguing the Spirits at this rate? Is he in Earnest? Why then even Robin Goodfellow himself is not a more senseless insignificant Hobgoblin. Is he in Jest? Why then all this is a very grand Impertinence, since it does not so much as aim at any thing: For how can the Spirits be any ways influenced by these dry Jokes of their Leader?

Of the same Stamp and the same Contri­vance are these Lines in the Beginning of the 3d Canto:

As I said above, Sir, is not here a Receipt for dry Joking? and can any thing be more easy than to be a Wit at this rate?

But so much for the Sentiments in this Rape of the Lock; I should now come to the Expression. But I have already transgress'd the Bounds I prescribed to myself, and 'tis Time to take Pity of myself and you. I am, Sir,

LETTER VII.

THO' I am heartily tired with what I have already sent you, and am really ashamed of having pass'd a Week in thinking on such an empty jingling Trifle as the Rape of the Lock, a wretched Rhapsody, writ for the Amusement of Boys, and Men like Boys; and tho' I am both very much indisposed at present, and very busy, yet since I have re­ceived your Commands to send you some Re­marks upon the Expressions in that Bawble, in order to compleat the Conversion of Mrs. S [...]; I will, in Obedience to those Com­mands, do myself a little more Violence, and will do it in as short a Time, and as small a Compass as I can; for I will confine myself to the first twelve Lines, that by the numerous Faults which will be seen in them, any one to whom you may happen to shew this Letter, may be able to judge of the rest.

This Rhapsody begins with Absurdity;

[Page 36] The two first of these Lines, and the Begin­ning of the third, are out of all Grammatical Construction: For here the Verb Active sing has no Accusative Case depending on it; as the Nominative Case is without a Verb in the Be­ginning of the Prologue to Cato, which Pro­logue was writ by the same little whimsical Gentleman.

The Word Muse is a mere Expletive, and can have nothing to do here, since 'tis Belinda only that is to inspire him.

There are no less than six Faults in the six Lines which he calls his Invocation:

Now all this, if it were not for the Rhyme, would appear, even to Fools as well as to Men of Sense, the poorest and most contemptible Stuff that ever laid the gentle Reader asleep. I would fain know what the Word Goddess in the first Line [...] the Muse, or Belinda. Goddess, by the usual Signification of the Word, relates to Muse, but according to Grammar and Construction, it relates to Belinda, because she was mention'd last, and she is the inspiring Person. The Word compel in the first Line likewise is a Botch for the sake of the Rhyme, the Word that should naturally have been used [Page 37] was either induce or provoke. The Word com­pel supposes the Baron to be a Beast, and not a free Agent. Now, Sir, what a pretty Sense these two first Lines make:

That is, what could force a well-bred Man to be damnably rude, and to shew himself an er­rant Clown and a Brute? As for the Terms gentle Belle, they are too affected, too weak, and too low, and by no means come up to what is said to Belinda in the very next Page by Ariel the Sylph:

For Belle and Beau, as we have made them, as it were, English Substantives, do not signify so much as Beautiful, tho' as they are French Adjectives they have that Signification. No Man when he calls another Beau, means, that that other is handsome, but only that he takes a great deal of Poppish Care about his Dress, and gives himself a great many fantastick Airs, in order to please superficial People, and ren­der himself ridiculous to Men of Sense. Belle has much the same Signification, and accord­ing to the present Use and Acceptation of the Word, no more signifies a beautiful Woman than Coquette does, but only one that takes a great deal of fruitless Pains to make herself [Page 38] more agreeable than God and Nature have made her. But let us go on to the next Couplet:

The Cause was, because she did not like him; a strange Cause indeed, and which required a great deal of Sagacity to find it out. But to what Purpose is the Word reject? Belinda granted him every thing that he ask'd of her. He desired to wait upon her to Hampton­Court, and she granted it. He desired her to make one at Ombre, and she complied with that Request likewise. If she granted no more, it was because he ask'd no more: For, if we may believe herself, by what she says at the Beginning of the fourth Canto, she would have refused him nothing unless it was her favou­rite Lock:

For she, who seems inclin'd to sacrifice her Mo­desty to her Vanity, would, in all likelihood, have sacrificed it to her Pleasure. In short, the Baron is so far from making Love in this Rhapsody, that he plainly shews, by the rude Affront which he puts upon Belinda, that he expected no particular Favour from her. And indeed this Party of Pleasure at Hampton-Court seems to me to look more like Catterwauling, than the Behaviour of Persons who went thither [Page 39] with any amorous Design. But let us proceed to the next Couplet:

Yes, most certainly does it; and if this little Gentleman had not had a Head more soft than Belinda's Bosom, he could never have been ca­pable of asking so simple a Question. The softer Sex are much more subject to violent Passions than Men. Virgil shewed a Softness in Dido, which this little Gentleman is utterly incapable of comprehending; a Softness which obliged a Sovereign Queen, whose Understand­ing was equal to her Supreme Power, or to her Greatness of Mind, to grant the last Favour to the Trojan Hero, and yet that Softness was immediately succeeded by a Rage, to whose Force, and whose noble Enthusiasm, this little Creature, who is as diminutive an Author as he is an Animal, is as utterly incapable of rai­sing himself, as an earthly Vapour is of ascend­ing to Heaven. But tho' nothing is more plain than that Rage may dwell in softest Bosoms, yet had it no more to do here than reject, and indeed had the less to do here because of reject: For cannot a Lady deny a Gentleman who makes a civil Request to her, but she must sall immediately into as raving a Fit, as she could have done, if he had extorted the Favour from her. Reject shews Contempt rather than Rage: It shews that she did not esteem the Baron enough to be at all angry with him. But let us come to the second Line of the Couplet:

Yes certainly, daring Souls dwell often in little Men, and for that very Reason, because they are little Men. Did he never hear of what Statius says of little Tydeus:

I myself know a little Monster, who, I dare venture to prophesy, will one Day shew as daring a Soul as a mad Indian who runs a muck. But what Occasion is there for daring Souls here? The Baron shews a good deal of Bru­tality, and a good deal of Perfidy, but no Daring. He shew'd a great deal of Courage indeed, in coming treacherously behind a Lady and cutting off her favourite Lock!

But all this Piece, is, like Windsor Forest, or the Temple of Fame, below Criticism; and there­fore I take my Leave of you. It would be un­reasonable to expect that you should read Re­marks with Pleasure which I write with Pain; Remarks which may be made by the most ordi­nary Reader, without any Penetration or any Sagacity. Besides, I have given a sufficient Sample to enable Mrs. S [...] to judge of the rest. For as a Lion is known by his Claws, an Ass is known by his Ears.