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            <author>Arbuthnot, John, 1667-1735.</author>
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            <date when="2007-10">2007 October</date>
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                  <title>An appendix to John Bull still in his senses: or, Law is a bottomless-pit. Printed from a manuscript found in the cabinet of the famous Sir Humphry Polesworth: and publish'd, (as well as the three former parts) by the author of the New Atalantis.</title>
                  <author>Arbuthnot, John, 1667-1735.</author>
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               <extent>22,[2]p. ; 8⁰.</extent>
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                  <date>1712.</date>
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                  <note>Anonymous. By John Arbuthnot.</note>
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         <div type="title_page">
            <pb facs="tcp:0045005700:1"/>
            <p>AN
APPENDIX
TO
JOHN BULL
Still
In His SENSES:
OR,
<hi>Law is a Bottomleſs-Pit.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>Printed from a Manuſcript found in the
Cabinet of the famous Sir <hi>Humphry
Poleſworth:</hi> And Publiſh'd, (as well
as the three former Parts) by the Au<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thor
of the NEW ATALANTIS.</p>
            <p>
               <hi>LONDON,</hi>
Printed for <hi>John Morphew,</hi> ne<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>r <hi>Stationer's-Hall,</hi>
1712. Price 3<hi>d.</hi>
            </p>
         </div>
      </front>
      <body>
         <head>
            <pb n="3" facs="tcp:0045005700:2"/>AN
APPENDIX
TO
John Bull Still in his Senſes, &amp;c.</head>
         <div n="1" type="chapter">
            <head>CHAP. I.</head>
            <head type="sub">The Apprehending, Examination, and Impriſon<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ment
of Jack, for Suſpicion of Poiſoning.</head>
            <p>THE attentive Reader cannot have
forgot, that in my laſt Part, the Sto<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ry
of <hi>Yan Ptſchirnſooker</hi>'s Powder
was interrupted by a Meſſage from <hi>Frog.</hi> I
have a natural Compaſſion for Curioſity, be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
much troubled with the Diſtemper my
ſelf; therefore to gratify that uneaſy itching
Senſation in my Reader, I have procur'd the
following Account of that Matter.</p>
            <p>
               <hi>Yan Ptſchirnſooker</hi> came off (as Rogues
uſually do upon ſuch Occaſions) by Peach<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
<pb n="4" facs="tcp:0045005700:3"/>
his Partner, and being extremely forward
to bring him to the Gallows; <hi>Jack</hi> was ac<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cus'd<g ref="char:punc">▪</g>
as the Contriver of all the Roguery.
And indeed it happen'd unfortunately for
the poor Fellow, that he was known to bear
a moſt inveterate Spight againſt the old Gen<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tlewoman,
and conſequently, that never any
ill Accident happen'd to her, but he was ſu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſpected
to be at the bottom of it. If ſhe
prick'd her Finger, <hi>Jack,</hi> to be ſure, laid the
Pin in the way: If ſome Noiſe in the Street
diſturb'd her Reſt, who could it be but <hi>Jack</hi>
in ſome of his nocturnal Rambles? If a Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vant
run away, <hi>Jack</hi> had debauch'd him:
every idle Tittle-tattle that went about, <hi>Jack</hi>
was always ſuſpected for the Author of it:
However, all was nothing to this laſt Affair
of the temperating, moderating Powder. The
Hue and Cry went after <hi>Jack,</hi> to Apprehend
him, dead or alive, wherever he could be
found. The Conſtables look'd out for him
in all his uſual Haunts; but, to no purpoſe.
Where d'ye think did they find him at laſt?
Ev'n ſmoaking his Pipe very quietly, at his
Brother <hi>Martin</hi>'s; from whence he was car<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ry'd,
with a vaſt Mob at his Heels, before
the Worſhipful Mr. Juſtice <hi>Overdo.</hi> Several
of his Neighbours made Oath, That of late,
the Priſoner had been obſerv'd to lead a ve<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ry
diſſolute Life, renouncing ev'n his uſual
Hypocriſy, and Pretences to Sobriety: That
he frequented Taverns and Eating-Houſes,
<pb n="5" facs="tcp:0045005700:4"/>
and had been often guilty of Drunkenneſs
and Gluttony at My Lord-Mayor's Table:
That he had been ſeen in the Company of
Lewd Women: That he had transferr'd his
uſual religious Care of the engroſs'd Copy of
his Father's Will, to Bank Bills, Orders for
Tallies, and Debentures:<note n="*" place="margin">Tale of the Tub.</note> Theſe he now af<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>firm'd,
with more literal Truth, to
be <hi>Meat, Drink, and Cloth, the Philo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſophers
Stone, and the <g ref="char:V">Ʋ</g>niverſal Medi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cine:</hi>
That he was ſo far from ſhewing his
cuſtomary Reverence to the <hi>Will,</hi> that he
kept company with thoſe that call'd his Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther
a cheating Rogue, and his <hi>Will</hi> a For<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gery.
That he not only ſat quietly and
heard his Father rail'd at, but often chim'd
in with the Diſcourſe, and hugg'd the Au<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>thors
as his Boſom Friends:<note n="†" place="margin">Tale of the Tub.</note> 
               <hi>That
inſtead of asking for Blows, at the
Corners of the Streets,</hi> he now be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtow'd
them as plentifully as he begg'd them
before: In ſhort, That he was grown a meer
Rake; and, had nothing left in him of old
<hi>Jack,</hi> except his Spight to <hi>John Bull</hi>'s Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ther.</p>
            <p>Another Witneſs made Oath, That <hi>Jack</hi>
had been overheard bragging of a Trick he
had found out to manage the <hi>old formal Jade,</hi>
as he us'd to call her. <q>Damn this numb'd-Skull
of mine (quoth he) that I could not
light on it ſooner. As long as I go in this
ragged tatter'd Coat, I am ſo well known,
<pb n="6" facs="tcp:0045005700:5"/>
that I am hunted away from the old Wo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>man's
Door by every barking Curr about
the Houſe, they bid me Defiance; there's
no doing Miſchief as an open Enemy, I
muſt find ſome way or another of getting
within Doors, and then I ſhall have better
Opportunities of playing my Pranks, be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſides
the Benefit of good keeping.</q>
            </p>
            <p>Two Witneſſes Swore, that ſeveral Years
ago, there came to their Miſtriſs's Door, a
young Fellow in a tatter'd Coat, that went
by the Name of <hi>Timothy Trim,</hi> whom they
did in their Conſcience believe to be the
very Priſoner, reſembling him in Shape, Sta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ture,
and the Features of his Countenance;
that the ſaid <hi>Timothy Trim</hi> being taken in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>to
the Family, clap'd their Miſtriſs's Livery
over his own tatter'd Coat; that the ſaid
<hi>Timothy</hi> was extremely officious about their
Miſtriſs's Perſon, endeavouring by Flattery
and Tale-bearing, to ſet her againſt the reſt
of the Servants; no Body was ſo ready to
fetch any thing that was wanted, or reach
what was drop'd; that he us'd to ſhove and
elbow his Fellow-Servants to get near his
Miſtreſs, eſpecially when Mony was a pay<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
or receiving, then he was never out of
the way; that he was extremely diligent
about every Bodies Buſineſs but his own;
that the ſaid <hi>Timothy,</hi> while he was in the
Family, us'd to be playing Roguiſh Tricks;
when his Miſtreſs's back was turn'd he would
<pb n="7" facs="tcp:0045005700:6"/>
loll out his Tongue, make Mouths, and laugh
at her, walking behind her like a <hi>Harlequin,</hi>
ridiculing her Motions and Geſtures; if his
Miſtreſs look'd about, he put on a grave,
demure Countenance, as he had been in a
fit of Devotion; that he us'd often to trip
up Stairs ſo ſmoothly that you could not
hear him tread, and put all things out of
Order; that he would pinch the Children
and Servants, when he met them in the dark,
ſo hard, that he left the Print of his Fore-fingers
and his Thumb in black and blue,
and then ſlink into a corner, as if no Body had
done it: Out of the ſame malicious Deſign,
he us'd to lay Chairs and Joint-ſtools in their
way, that they might break their Noſes by
falling over them. The more young and un<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>experienc'd,
he us'd to teach to talk Saucily,
and call Names: During his ſtay in the Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mily
there was much Plate miſſing; that be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
catch'd with a couple of Silver Spoons in
his Pocket, with their Handles wrench'd off,
he ſaid, he was only going to carry them to
the Goldſmiths to be mended; that the ſaid
<hi>Timothy</hi> was hated by all the honeſt Servants,
for his ill-condition'd, ſplenetick Tricks, but
eſpecially for his ſlanderous Tongue; tradu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cing
them to their Miſtreſs, as Drunkards,
Thieves and Whore-maſters; that the ſaid <hi>Ti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mothy,</hi>
by lying Stories, us'd to ſet all the Family
together by the Ears, taking delight to make
them Fight and Quarrel; particularly one Day
<pb n="8" facs="tcp:0045005700:7"/>
ſitting at Table, he ſpoke Words to this Ef<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fect:
<q>I am of Opinion <hi>(quoth he)</hi> That little
ſhort Fellows, ſuch as we are, have better
Hearts. and could beat the tall Fellows; I
wiſh it came to a fair Trial, I believe, theſe
long Fellows, as ſightly as they are, ſhould
find their Jackets well thwack'd.</q> A parcel
of tall Fellows, who thought themſelves af<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fronted
by this Diſcourſe, took up the Qua<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>rel,
and to't they went, the tall Men and
the low Men, which continues ſtill a Faction
in the Family, to the great Diſorder of our
Miſtreſs's Affairs: That the ſaid <hi>Timothy</hi> car<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ried
this Frolick ſo far, that he propos'd to
his Miſtreſs, that ſhe ſhould entertain no Ser<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vant
that was above four Foot ſeven Inches
high, and for that Purpoſe had prepar'd a
Gage, by which they were to be meaſur'd:
That the good old Gentlewoman was not ſo
ſimple as to go into his Projects, ſhe began
to ſmell a Rat. <q>This <hi>Trim</hi> (quoth ſhe)
is an odd ſort of a Fellow, methinks he
makes a ſtrange Figure with that ragged,
tatter'd Coar, appearing under his Livery,
can't he go ſpruce and clean, like the reſt
of the Servants? The Fellow has a Roguiſh
Leer with him, which I don't like by any
means: beſides, he has ſuch a twang in his
Diſcourſe, and an ungraceful way of ſpeak<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
through the Noſe, that one can hardly
underſtand him; I wiſh the Fellow be not
Tainted with ſome bad Diſeaſe.</q>  The Wit<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>neſſes
<pb n="9" facs="tcp:0045005700:8"/>
farther made Oath, That the ſaid <hi>Ti<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mothy</hi>
lay out a Nights, and went abroad of<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ten
at unſeaſonable Hours; that it was credi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bly
reported, he did Buſineſs in another Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mily;
that he pretended to have a ſqueamiſh
Stomach, and could not eat at Table with
the reſt of the Servants, tho' this was but
a pretence to provide ſome nice Bit for him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf;
that he refus'd to Dine upon Salt-fiſh,
only to have an opportunity to eat a Calve's
Head (his Favourite Diſh) in private; that
for all his tender Stomach, when he was got
by himſelf, he would devour Capons, Tur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>keys
and Sirloins of Beef, like a Cormorant.</p>
            <p>Two other Witneſſes gave the following
Evidence, That in his officious Attendance
upon his Miſtreſs, he had try'd to ſlip in
a Powder into her Drink, and that once
he was catch'd endeavouring to ſtifle
her with a Pillow as ſhe was a ſleep; that
he and <hi>Ptſchirnſooker</hi> were often in cloſe
Conference, and that they us'd to drink to<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>gether
at the <hi>Roſe,</hi> where it ſeems he was
well enough known by the true Name of
<hi>Jack.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>The Priſoner had little to ſay in his De<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fence;
he endeavour'd to prove himſelf <hi>Alibi;</hi>
ſo that the Trial turn'd upon this ſingle Que<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſtion,
whether the ſaid <hi>Timothy Trim</hi> and
<hi>Jack,</hi> were the ſame Perſon? which was
prov'd by ſuch plain Tokens, and particu<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>larly
by a Mole under the left Pap, that
<pb n="10" facs="tcp:0045005700:9"/>
there was no withſtanding the Evidence;
therefore the Worſhipful Mr. Juſtice com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mitted
him, in order to his Tryal.</p>
         </div>
         <div n="2" type="chapter">
            <head>CHAP. II.</head>
            <head type="sub">How Jack's Friends came to viſit him in Priſon,
and what Advice they gave him.</head>
            <p>
               <hi>JACK</hi> hitherto had paſs'd in the World
for a poor, ſimple, well-meaning, half-witted,
crack'd-brain'd Fellow, People were
ſtrangely ſurpriz'd to find him in ſuch a
Roguery; that he ſhould diſguiſe himſelf
under a falſe Name, hire himſelf out for a
Servant to an old Gentlewoman, only for an
opportunity to Poiſon her. They ſaid, That
it was more Generous to profeſs open En<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mity,
than, under a profound Diſſimulation,
to be guilty of ſuch a ſcandalous Breach of
Truſt, and of the ſacred Rights of Hoſpita<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>lity.
In ſhort, the Action was univerſally
Condemn'd by his beſt Friends; they told
him in plain terms, That this was come as a
Judgment upon him, for his looſe Life, his
Gluttony, Drunkenneſs and Avarice, laying
aſide his Father's <hi>Will</hi> in an old mouldy Trunk,
and turning Stock-jobber, News-monger,
and Buſie-body, meddling with other Peoples
Affairs, ſhaking off his old ſerious Friends,
and keeping Company with Buffoons and
<pb n="11" facs="tcp:0045005700:10"/>
Pick-pockets, his Father's ſworn Enemies;
That he had beſt throw himſelf upon the
Mercy of the Court, Repent, and change his
Manners. To ſay truth, <hi>Jack</hi> heard theſe
Diſcourſes with ſome Compunction; how<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ever
he reſolv'd to try what his new Acquain<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tance
would do for him: They ſent <hi>Habakkuk
Slyboots,</hi> who deliver'd him the following
Meſſage, as the peremptory Commands of
his truſty Companions.</p>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Habakkuk.</speaker>
               <p>Dear <hi>Jack,</hi> I am ſorry for thy
Misfortune; Matters have not been carried
on with due Secrecy; however, we muſt
make the beſt of a bad Bargain: Thou art in
the utmoſt Jeopardy, that's certain; Hang,
Draw and Quarter, are the gentleſt things
they talk of. However, thy faithful Friends,
ever watchful for thy Security, bid me tell
thee, That they have one infallible Expedient
left to ſave thy Life: Thou muſt know, we
have got into ſome Underſtanding with the
Enemy, by the means of <hi>Don Diego Diſmallo;</hi>
he aſſures us there is no Mercy for thee, and
that there is only one way left to Eſcape;
it is indeed ſomewhat out of the common
Road, however, be aſſur'd, it is the reſult of
moſt mature Deliberation.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>Prithee tell me quickly, for my
Heart is ſunk down into the very bottom of
my Belly.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>It is the unanimous Opinion of your
Friends, that you make as if you hang'd your
<pb n="12" facs="tcp:0045005700:11"/>
ſelf; that they will give it out that you are
quite dead, and convey your Body out of
Priſon in a Beir; and that <hi>John Bull,</hi> being
buſied with his Law-Suit, will not enquire
further into the matter.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>How d'ye mean, make as if I had
hang'd my ſelf?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Nay, you muſt really hang your
ſelf up in a true genuine Rope, that there may
appear no Trick in it, and leave the reſt to
your Friends.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>Truly this is a matter of ſome Con<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>cern;
and my Friends, I hope, won't take
it ill, if I enquire a little into the means by
which they intend to deliver me: A Rope,
and a Nooſe, are no jeſting Matters!</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Why ſo miſtruſtful? haſt<g ref="char:punc">▪</g> thou ever
found us falſe to thee? I tell thee, there is one
ready to cut thee down.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>May I preſume to ask who it is that
is entruſted with that important Office?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Is there no end of thy How's and
thy Why's? that's a Secret.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>A Secret, perhaps, that I may be
ſafely truſted with, for I am not like to tell
it again. I tell you plainly, it is no ſtrange
thing for a Man, before he hangs himſelf up,
to enquire who is to cut him down.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Thou ſuſpicious Creature! if thou
muſt needs know it, I tell thee it is Sir <hi>Roger;</hi>
he has been in Tears ever ſince thy Misfor<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tune.
<hi>Don Diego</hi> and we have laid it ſo, that
<pb n="13" facs="tcp:0045005700:12"/>
he is to be in the next Room, and before
the Rope is well about thy Neck, reſt ſatiſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fied,
he will break in, and cut thee down:
Fear not, old Boy; we'll do't, I'll warrant
thee.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>So I muſt hang my ſelf up, upon
hopes that Sir <hi>Roger</hi> will cut me down, and
all this upon the Credit of <hi>Don Diego:</hi> A fine
Stratagem indeed to ſave my Life, that de<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>pends
upon Hanging, <hi>Don Diego,</hi> and Sir
<hi>Roger!</hi>
               </p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>I tell thee there is a Myſtery in all
this, my Friend, a piece of profound Policy;
if thou knew what good this will do to the
Common Cauſe, thy Heart would leap for
Joy: I'm ſure thou would not delay the Ex<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>periment
one moment.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>This is to the Tune of <hi>All for the bet<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter.</hi>
What's your Cauſe to me, when I am
hang'd?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Refractory Mortal! If thou wilt not
truſt thy Friends, take what follows; know
aſſuredly, before next full Moon, that thou
wilt be hung up in Chains, or thy Quarters
perching upon the moſt conſpicuous Places
of the Kingdom. Nay, I don't believe they
will be contented with Hanging, they talk
of Empaling, or breaking on the Wheel; and
thou chuſeſt that, before a gentle ſuſpending
of thy ſelf, for one Minute. Hanging is not
ſo painful a thing as thou imagines. I have
ſpoke with ſeveral that have undergone it,
<pb n="14" facs="tcp:0045005700:13"/>
they all agree it is no manner of uneaſineſs;
be ſure thou take good notice of the Symp<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>toms,
the Relation will be curious; it is but
a kick or two with thy Heels, and a wry
Mouth or ſo: Sir <hi>Roger</hi> will be with thee in
the twinkling of an Eye.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>But what if Sir <hi>Roger</hi> ſhould not
come? will my Friends be there to Succour
me?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Doubt it not; I will provide every
thing againſt to Morrow Morning, do thou
keep thy own Secret, ſay nothing: I tell
thee, it is abſolutely neceſſary for the Com<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mon
Good, that thou ſhouldſt go through this
Operation.</p>
            </sp>
         </div>
         <div n="3" type="chapter">
            <head>CHAP. III.</head>
            <head type="sub">How Jack hang'd himſelf up by the Perſwaſion
of his Friends, who broke their Word, and
left his Neck in the Nooſe.</head>
            <p>
               <hi>JACK</hi> was a profeſs'd Enemy to <hi>Implicit
Faith,</hi> and yet I dare ſay, it was never
more ſtrongly exerted, nor more baſely abuſed,
than upon this occaſion. He was now, with
his old Friends, in the ſtate of a poor disband<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed
Officer after a Peace; or rather a wounded
Soldier after a Battle; like an old Favourite
of a cunning Miniſter after the Jobb is over;
or a decay'd Beauty to a cloy'd Lover in
<pb n="15" facs="tcp:0045005700:14"/>
queſt of new Game; or like an hundred ſuch
things that one ſees every Day. There were
new Intrigues, new Views, new Projects on
foot; <hi>Jack</hi>'s Life was the Purchaſe of <hi>Diego</hi>'s
Friendſhip, much good may it do them.
The Intereſt of <hi>Hocus</hi> and Sir <hi>Williams Crawly,</hi>
which was now more at Heart, made this
Operation upon poor <hi>Jack</hi> abſolutely neceſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſary.
You may eaſily gueſs that his Reſt that
Night was but ſmall, and much diſturb'd;
however the remaining part of his Time he
did not employ (as his Cuſtom was former<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ly)
in Prayer, Meditation, or ſinging a double
Verſe of a Pſalm, but amuſed himſelf with
diſpoſing of his Bank-Stock; many a Doubt,
many a Qualm, overſpread his clouded Imagi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nation.
<q>Muſt I then (quoth he) hang up
my own perſonal, natural, individual Self,
with theſe two Hands! <hi>Durus Sermo!</hi>
What if I ſhould be cut down, as my
Friends tell me? There is ſomething Infa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mous
in the very Attempt; the World
will conclude I had a guilty Conſcience.
Is it poſſible that good Man, Sir <hi>Roger,</hi> can
have ſo much pity upon an unfortunate
Scoundrel, that has perſecuted him ſo many
Years? No, it cannot be: I don't love Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>vours
that paſs through <hi>Don Diego</hi>'s Hands.
On the other ſide, my Blood chills about
my Heart, at the thought of theſe Rogues,
with their bloody Hands grabbling in my
Guts, and pulling out my very Entrails:
<pb n="16" facs="tcp:0045005700:15"/>
Hang it, for once I'll truſt my Friends.</q>
So <hi>Jack</hi> reſolv'd, but he had done more wiſe<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ly,
to have put himſelf upon the Tryal of his
Country, made his Defence in Form; many
things happen between the Cup and the Lip,
Witneſſes might have been brib'd, Juries ma<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nag'd,
or Proſecution ſtop'd. But ſo it was,
<hi>Jack</hi> for this time had a ſufficient Stock of
Implicit Faith, which led him to his Ruin, as
the Sequel of the Story ſhews: And now the
fatal Day was come, in which he was to try
this hanging Experiment. His Friends did
not fail him at the appointed Hour, to ſee
it put in practice. <hi>Habakkuk</hi> brought him a
ſmooth, ſtrong, tough Rope, made of many
a ply of wholeſome <hi>Scandinavian</hi> Hemp,
compactly twiſted together, with a Nooſe
that ſlip'd as glib as a Bird-catcher's Gin.
<hi>Jack</hi> ſhrunk and grew pale at firſt ſight of it,
he handled it, meaſur'd it, ſtretch'd it, fix'd
it againſt the Iron-bar of the Window to
try its ſtrength, but no Familiarity could re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>concile
him to it. He found fault with the
length, the thickneſs, and the twiſt, nay,
the very colour did not pleaſe him. <q>Will
nothing leſs th<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                     <desc>•</desc>
                  </gap>n Hanging ſerve (quoth
<hi>Jack</hi>)? Won't my Enemies take Bail for my
good Behaviour? Will they accept of a Fine,
or be ſatisfied with the Pillory and Impri<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſonment,
a good round Whipping, or Burn<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
in the Cheek?</q>
            </p>
            <sp>
               <pb n="17" facs="tcp:0045005700:16"/>
               <speaker>Habakkuk.</speaker>
               <p>Nothing but your Blood will
appeaſe their Rage; make haſte, elſe we
ſhall be diſcover'd: There's nothing like ſur<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>priſing
the Rogues. How they will be
diſappointed, when they hear that thou haſt
haſt prevented their Revenge, and hang'd
thine own ſelf?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>That's true; but what if I ſhould
do it in Effigies? Is there never an old Pope,
or Pretender, to hang up in my ſtead? we are
not ſo unlike, but it may paſs.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>That can never be put upon Sir
<hi>Roger.</hi>
               </p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>Are you ſure he is in the next Room?
Have you provided a very ſharp Knife, in
caſe of the worſt?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Doſt take me for a common Lyar?
Be ſatisfy'd, no Damage can happen to your
Perſon, your Friends will take care of
that.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>Mayn't I quilt my Rope, it galls my
Neck ſtrangely? beſides, I don't like this
running Knot, it holds too tight, I may be
ſtifled all of a ſudden.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Thou haſt ſo many If's and And's;
prithee diſpatch; it might have been over be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>fore
this time.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>But, now I think on't, I would fain
ſettle ſome <hi>Affairs,</hi> for fear of the worſt:
Have a little Patience.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>There's no having Patience, thou
art ſuch a faintling, ſilly Creature.</p>
            </sp>
            <pb n="18" facs="tcp:0045005700:17"/>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Jack.</speaker>
               <p>O thou moſt deteſtable, abominable,
<hi>Paſſive Obedience!</hi> did I ever imagine I ſhould
become thy Votary, in ſo pregnant an Inſtance;
how will my Brother <hi>Martin</hi> laugh at this
Story, to ſee himſelf out done in his own
Calling? He has taken the Doctrine, and
left me the Practice. No ſooner had he ut<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ter'd
theſe Words, but like a Man of true
Courage, he ty'd the fatal Cord to the Beam,
fitted the Nooſe, and mounted upon the bot<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tom
of a Tub, the inſide of which he had
often Grac'd in his proſperous Days. This
Footſtool <hi>Habakkuk</hi> kick'd away, and left poor
<hi>Jack</hi> ſwinging, like the Pendulum of <hi>Paul</hi>'s
Clock. The fatal Nooſe perform'd its Office,
and with moſt ſtrict Ligature, ſqueez'd the
Blood into his Face, 'till it aſſum'd a purple
dye: While the poor Man, heav'd from the
very bottom of his Belly for Breath, <hi>Haba<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>kuk</hi>
walk'd with great Deliberation into both
the upper and lower Room, to acquaint his
Friends, who receiv'd the News with great
Temper, and with Geers and Scoffs inſtead
of Pity, <hi>Jack</hi> has Hang'd himſelf (quoth they!)
let us go and ſee how the poor Rogue ſwings.
Then they call'd Sir <hi>Roger.</hi> Sir <hi>Roger</hi> (quoth
<hi>Habakkuk) Jack</hi> has hang'd himſelf, make haſte
and cut him down. Sir <hi>Roger</hi> turn'd firſt
one Ear and then t'other, not underſtanding
what he ſaid.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>I tell you <hi>Jack</hi> has hang'd himſelf up.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Sir <hi>Roger.</hi>
               </speaker>
               <p>Who's hang'd?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <pb n="19" facs="tcp:0045005700:18"/>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>Jack.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Sir <hi>Roger.</hi>
               </speaker>
               <p>I thought this had not been hanging Day.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Hab.</speaker>
               <p>But the poor Fellow has hang'd him<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelf.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>Sir <hi>Roger.</hi>
               </speaker>
               <p>Then let him hang. I don't won<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>der
at it, the Fellow has been mad theſe
twenty Years. With this he ſlunk away.</p>
            </sp>
            <p>Then <hi>Jack</hi>'s Friends began to hunch and
puſh one another, <hi>Why don't you go and cut
the poor Fellow down? Why don't you? and
why don't you? Not I</hi> (quoth one,) <hi>not I</hi>
(quoth another,) <hi>not I</hi> (quoth a third,) <hi>he
may hang 'till Doomſday before I relieve him.</hi>
Nay it is credibly reported, that they were
ſo far from ſuccouring their poor Friend, in
this his diſmal Circumſtance, that <hi>Ptſchirn<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſooker,</hi>
and ſeveral of his Companions, went
in and pull'd him by the Legs, and thump'd
him on the Breaſt. Then they began to rail at
him for the very thing which they had both
advis'd and juſtify'd before, <hi>viz.</hi> his getting in<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>to
the old Gentlewoman's Family, and putting
on her Livery. The Keeper, who perform'd
the laſt Office, coming up, found <hi>Jack</hi> ſwing<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing,
with no Life in him; he took down the
Body gently and laid it on a Bulk, and
brought out the Rope to the Company. <hi>This,
Gentlemen, is the Rope that hang'd</hi> Jack;
<hi>What must be done with it?</hi> Upon which
they order'd it to be laid among the Curi<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>oſities
of <hi>Greſham</hi> College, and it is call'd
<pb n="20" facs="tcp:0045005700:19"/>
               <hi>Jack</hi>'s Rope to this very Day. However
<hi>Jack</hi> after all, had ſome ſmall Tokens of
Life in him, but lies at this time paſt hopes
of a total Recovery, with his Head hang<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
on one Shoulder, without Speech or Mo<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tion.
The Coroners Inqueſt ſuppoſing him
Dead, brought him in <hi>Non Compos.</hi>
            </p>
         </div>
         <div n="4" type="chapter">
            <head>CHAP. IV.</head>
            <head type="sub">The Conference between Don Diego Diſmallo,
and John Bull.</head>
            <p>DUring the time of the foregoing Tranſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>action,
<hi>Don Diego</hi> was entertaining
<hi>John Bull.</hi>
            </p>
            <sp>
               <speaker>D. Diego.</speaker>
               <p>I hope, Sir, this Day's Proceed<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
will convince you of the Sincerity of your
old Friend <hi>Diego,</hi> and the Treachery of Sir
<hi>Roger.</hi>
               </p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>J. Bull.</speaker>
               <p>What's the matter now?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>D. Diego.</speaker>
               <p>You have been endeavouring,
for ſeveral Years, to have Juſtice done upon
that Rogue <hi>Jack;</hi> but what through the Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>miſſneſs
of Conſtables, Juſtices and pack'd
Juries, he has always found the Means to
eſcape.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>J. Bull.</speaker>
               <p>What then?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>D. Diego.</speaker>
               <p>Conſider then, who is your beſt
Friend, he that would have brought him to
<pb n="21" facs="tcp:0045005700:20"/>
condign Puniſhment, or he that has ſav'd him.
By my Perſwaſion, <hi>Jack</hi> had hang'd himſelf,
if Sir <hi>Roger</hi> had not cut him down.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>J. Bull.</speaker>
               <p>Who told you that Sir <hi>Roger</hi> has
done ſo?</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>D. Diego.</speaker>
               <p>You ſeem to receive me coldly;
methinks my Services deſerve a better Re<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>turn.</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>J. Bull.</speaker>
               <p>Since you value your ſelf upon
Hanging this poor Scoundrel, I tell you, when
I have any more Hanging-work, I'll ſend
for thee; I have ſome better Employment for
Sir <hi>Roger:</hi> In the mean time, I deſire the poor
Fellow may be look'd after. When he firſt
came out of the North-Country into my Fa<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>mily,
under the pretended Name of <hi>Timothy
Trim,</hi> the Fellow ſeem'd to mind his Loom
and his Spinning-wheel, till ſome body turn'd
his Head; then he grew ſo pragmatical, that
he took upon him the Government of my
whole Family: I could never order any thing,
within or without doors, but he muſt be
always giving his Counſel, ſorſooth: Never<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>theleſs,
tell him, I will forgive what is
paſt; and if he would mind his Buſineſs for
the future, and not meddle out of his own
Sphere, he will find that <hi>John Bull</hi> is not of
a cruel Diſpoſition,</p>
            </sp>
            <sp>
               <speaker>D. Diego.</speaker>
               <p>Yet all your skilful Phyſicians
ſay, that nothing can recover your Mother,
but a piece of <hi>Jack</hi>'s Liver boil'd in her Soup.</p>
            </sp>
            <pb n="22" facs="tcp:0045005700:21"/>
            <sp>
               <speaker>J. Bull.</speaker>
               <p>Thoſe are Quacks: My Mother
abhors ſuch Canibal's Food; ſhe is in perfect
He<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                     <desc>•</desc>
                  </gap>lth at preſent: I would have given ma<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ny
a good Pound to have had her ſo well
ſome time ago. There are, indeed, two or
three troubleſome old Nurſes, that becauſe
they believe I am tender-hearted, will never
let me have a quiet Nights Reſt, with knock<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ing
me up: Oh, Sir, your Mother is taken
extremely ill! ſhe is fall'n into a fainting Fit!
ſhe has a great Emptineſs, and wants Suſte<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>nance!
This is only to recommend them<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſelves,
for their great Care. <hi>John Bull,</hi> as
ſimple as he is, underſtands a little of a
Pulſe.</p>
            </sp>
            <trailer>FINIS.</trailer>
         </div>
      </body>
      <back>
         <div type="publishers_advertisement">
            <pb facs="tcp:0045005700:22"/>
            <p>
               <hi>BOOKS Sold by</hi> John Morphew, <hi>near</hi> Sta<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tioners-Hall;
<hi>and</hi> A. Dodd, <hi>at the</hi> Peacock
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            <p>THE <hi>Examiners</hi> for the Year 1711. To
which is added, an Explanatory Index.
The Conduct of the Allies, and of the
late Miniſtry, in beginning and carrying on
the preſent War. 7th Edition. Pr. 6 <hi>d.</hi>
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            <p>Some Remarks on the Barrier-Treaty, be<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>tween
Her Majeſty and the States-General.
By the Author of the Conduct of the Allies.
To which are added, the ſaid Barrier-Treaty
with the Two ſeparate Articles; Part of the
Counter-Project; The Sentiments of Prince
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Treaty; and a Repreſentation of the Engliſh
Merchants. 2d Edit. Pr. 6 <hi>d.</hi>
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            <p>Some Advice humbly offer'd to the Mem<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>bers
of the <hi>October</hi> Club; in a Letter from
a Perſon of Honour, 2d Edit. Pr. 2 <hi>d.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>A Journey to <hi>Paris:</hi> With ſome ſecret
Tranſactions between the Fr—King and an
Eng—Gentleman. 3d Edit. Pr. 2 <hi>d.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>The Characters and Principles of the pre<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſent
Set of Whigs 3d Edit. Pr. 3 <hi>d.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>The Four Volumes of the <hi>Atalantis.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>The D. of M—h's Vindication: In A<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>
               <g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ſwer
to a Pamphlet lately Publiſh'd, cal<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1+ letters">
                  <desc>•…</desc>
               </gap> 
               <hi>Bouchain;</hi> or a Dialogue between the <hi>M<gap reason="illegible" resp="#OXF" extent="1 letter">
                     <desc>•</desc>
                  </gap>dley</hi>
and the <hi>Examiner.</hi> 3d Edit, corrected. Pr. 2</p>
            <p>
               <pb facs="tcp:0045005700:23"/>
The Picture of a Modern Whig; Firſt and
Second Part. By Dr. <hi>Davenant.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>Some Remarks on the Letters between
the L—d <hi>T—nd</hi> and Mr. Sec—tary
<hi>B—le.</hi> In a Letter to the Author of the
Remarks on the Barrier-Treaty. Pr. 3 <hi>d.</hi>
            </p>
            <p>
               <hi>John Bull</hi> Still in his Senſes: Being the
Third Part of <hi>Law is a Bottomleſs Pit.</hi> Print<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>ed
from a famous Manuſcript found in the
Cabinet of the famous Sir <hi>Humphrey Poleſ<g ref="char:EOLhyphen"/>worth;</hi>
and Publiſh'd (as well as the two
former Parts) by the Author of the <hi>New
Atalantis.</hi> Pr. 6 <hi>d.</hi>
            </p>
         </div>
      </back>
   </text>
</TEI>
