WHat's here to do with a mischief? won't these Gates of Heaven open? Sure either the Wards are changed, or the Lock out of Order.

You had best look whether you have brought the right Key, for the same do's not open these Gates that opens your Money-chest; why did not you there­fore bring both? for that indeed is the Key of Power, but not of Knowledge.

I never had any other then this, and cannot imagine what occasion there should be of any other, while this is here.

Nor I neither; but that in the mean time we shall be shut out.

I grow monstrous angry: I'le knock down these Doors: Ho, within there; some one open this Gate quickly, or — what's to do here? — do's no [Page 4]body come yet? where's this lazy Porter? sure he's dead drunk and snoring.

How he measures every one by himself)

'Tis well these are Adamantine Gates, else whoever this is, would have broke them down, sure this must be some mighty Giant, or Potent Lord, the subverter of Cities: — But Foh! what common Sewer or Jakes is this I smell? I won't presently open the Gate, but out of the Wicket see if I can discover the wonder. What art thou? or, what wouldst have here?

Open you the Gate, Sir, as soon as you can: had you done your Duty, you ought to have come and met me with all the Train of Heaven.

Bravely Imperious! But pray let me first know who you are?

As though you did not see?

See! I see indeed a new and unusual sight, I will not say a Monster.

But if you been't stark blind, you will, I sup­pose, know this Key, if you don't know the Golden Oak, and you may see my Triple Crown and my Robes every where shining with Gold and precious Stones.

That Silver Key indeed I in a sort do know, though it be alone, and much unlike those, which of old the true Pastor of the Church, Christ, delivered to me: but that Exalted Crown how should I possibly have any knowledge of? which no barbarous Tyrant ever durst wear, nor indeed any one that ever desired entrance here: As for those Robes, they move not me at all, and that Gold and Jewels I shall ever contemn and trample on as dung. But what's the matter? I spy [Page 5]every-where upon thy Key, thy Crown and thy Robe, marks of a most horrid Vilain and Impostor, bearing in­deed my Title, but not at all of my Institution; rather of Simon the Sorcerers, whom by Christ's assistance I o'rethrew.

Leave this trifling if you're wise; for whether you know it or no? I am Julius that Ligurian, and you will own, or I am deceived, two letters P. M. unless you never learned any.

I suppose they signifie Pestilent Mischief.

Ha, ha, ha, how right has he hit it)

No, Sir, they signifie Pontifex Maximus, or Mighty Pope.

Be as Mighty as you will, and reckon your self among the Mightiest, nay, Mightier then Hermes Trismegistus, you shall not be received here un­less you were likewise good, — that is, Holy.

Why if it be any thing to the purpose to be cal­led Holy, thou art too impudent thus to delay opening the Gates to me, Thou! who for so many Ages hast only been called Saint, when none ever stil'd me other then the Most Holy. There are extant six thousand Bulls.

Ay Bulls indeed)

In which I am more then once called the Most Holy Lord, and alwayes intituled His Holiness, not bare Saint; so that whatever I had a mind to do, (Gen. Though it were in your drink) that they would say was done by His Holiness, The most Holy Lord Ju­lius.

You may e'ne go and ask Heaven too from those flatterers, who will be very likely to give you such a kind of Happiness as they did Holiness. How­ever [Page 6]you must know it is nothing to be called Holy: Are you so?

I am enraged: Had I but leave to live again, I would neither envie you, your Holiness, nor your Hap­piness.

Words well becoming an Holy Mind! but indeed looking seriously on you, I can discover many marks of Impiety, but not one of Sanctity: For what makes that new Attendance which looks not very Priestly? Thou bringest here neer twenty thousand a­long with thee, and yet in the whole croud I see not one has so much as the countenance of a Christian. I see a filthy dunghil of men, smelling of nothing but Brothels, Drink, and Gunpowder, they look like Thieves hired to vilany, or rather like Hellish Goblins broke from the Deeps to wage War against Heaven. And the more I view thee, the less can I discern any foot­steps of an Apostolical Person: For to begin, how mon­strous is it to see thee outwardly clad in Priestly Robes, and inwardly groaning under horrid Arms! Then what murderous eyes, what a stubborn look, what a threatning forehead, and what a lofty and arrogant countenance; for I am ashamed to say it, and grieve to see it: There is no one part of thy body but is defiled with the marks of prodigious and abominable Lust; not to add thy con­tinual Belching, thy smelling of Surfet and Drunken­ness, so that at this moment thou lookst as though thou wert Vomiting; for by the habit of thy body 'tis per­ceivable thou art not so much broken with Age or Diseases as with Excess of Gluttony and Drunkenness.

How he sets him out in his true colours.)

I see thee now darting a threatning look [Page 7]at me, yet I cannot forbear telling thee what I think: I suspect the pestilent Heathen Julian to be personally returned from Hell to defie me, so alike you are in all things.

Ma di si.

What's that he mutters?

He's angry. At those words not one of the Cardinals durst forbear flying, unless he would feel His Holiness's Club about his ears, especially at a banquet.

Thou seem'st to understand the man very well: tell me therefore who thou art?

I am the great Julius's Genius.

His evil one I believe.

Whatever I am, Julius's I am.

Pray Sir, leave you off this trifling, and open the Doors presently, unless you will have them broke down; for what need more words, you see what Com­panions I have brought along with me?

Indeed I see a crew of disciplined Thieves. But if you don't already know it, let me tell you, These Gates are to be assaulted and gain'd with other Arms.

I have said enough I tell you; And unless you immediately hasten, I will fulminate upon you a Thun­der-bolt of Excommunicatinn fiercer than those where­with I used to Terrify the Mightiest Kings and King­doms. Do you see this Bull already prepared to that purpose.

What cursed fulminating, and thundring, and Bulls and Bubbles are these thou tell'st me of? for we never heard of them from Christ?

But you shall feel them unless you make haste.

Whoever you have formerly terrified [Page 8]with these vapours, they signifie nothing here; we must have realities, and 'tis with good deeds not bad words this Fortress is to be gained: but pray how come you to thunder out your Excommunications against me? By what right?

By a very good one, since thou art now a pri­vate Person, or at best but a private Priest, and yet scarce that neither, as wanting the Power of Con­secrating.

Because I am thought to be dead.

Yes sure.

But by the same reason thou excellest not me, being dead too.

Yes, as long as the Cardinals are in contention about the choice of the new Pope, mine is the Right of Administration.

He dreams he's still living)

But open the Gates I say.

Unless you can recount your Merits, you do nothing here.

What Merits?

I'le tell you: Were you studious in Holy Doctrine?

Not at all: I was too much taken up with Wars, and besides there were Fryers enough; but what's this to the purpose?

Did you by holiness of Life gain many to Christ?

He sent many to Hell)

Did you excel in Miracles?

You talk of obsolete things.

Did you assiduously, devoutly, and sincerely pray?

What toys he tattles of?

Did you afflict your body with watchings and fastings?

Tis but in vain to talk to him of these things, which he thinks but sport.

These are the most excellent Priestly endow­ments I know, if he has any, more Apostolical, let him tell them.

Though it be too base a submission for me, that Julius hitherto unconquered should yield to Peter, not to say to a poor Fisherman and a Beggar; yet that thou mayst be sensible what kind of Prince thou contemnest, understand in the first place that I am a Ligurian, not a Jew like you; one thing only I grieve for, because hap­pening to me like you, that is, once I was a Sailor.

There is no reason you should be so much troubled at it, only this is somewhat to the purpose; he fish'd for food, you for poor wages row'd at the Oar.

Then to Pope Sixtus, that truly great man

In vices he means)

Nephew by the Sister: By his singular favour and my own industry, I first raised my self to Ecclesia­stical Riches; from thence by degrees I was carried up to the height of the Cardinals Cap, afterwards exer­cised by many storms of Fortune, and by many cruel accidents toss'd up and down, and besides other di­stempers subject to the Falling-sickness; and lastly quite covered over with that Scab or Pox they call th [...] French. To these was added bannishment, hatred, condemnation, and the being despised by all, and not lamented by any. Yet I never lost the hope of the Popedom such was the fortitude of my mind. When thou affrighted by a Wo­mans [Page 10]voice, didst presently desist: for as a Woman took away thy courage, so a certain Witch or Sorceress gave strength to mine, who when overwhelmed with so many disasters privately whispered in my ear, persevere Julius, let nothing seem irksome to do or suffer, one day thou shalt wear the Triple Crown, be King of Kings and Lord of Lords: nor did my hopes, or her Witchcraft fail me. But thithe [...] beyond all hope I raised my self, partly by the help of the French, who stood for me when I was rejected, and partly by the inestimable power of Money, not without much compacted Usury, nor that managed without wit.

What kind of Wi [...] was that?

That is, not without Sacerdotal Promises beyond the bargain, and the art of finding out security for it, so that I raised a greater Treasure then Crassus himself, had he been present, would have been able to have counted. But 'tis a vanity to tell you these things which every Serving-man knows. You have heard how I got into it, and I so carried my self in the Papacy, that there was not any one, I will not say only of the former Popes, which were but titular in comparison of me, but of the latter too, to whom the Church, or Christ himself owed more then to me.

How the Beast boasts himself)

I expect how thou'lt make that out.

Finding out many new offices, for so they call them, I much augmented the Papal Revenue. Then I invented a way how Bishopricks might be sold without falling under the lash of Simony. To wit, it was ordain­ed by my Predecessors, that to whom a Bishoprick fell, he should lay down his Office. That I thus interpreted, You are commanded to lay down. Now that cannot be [Page 11] laid down which you have not, therefore lay down a fine. By this art several Bishopricks yielded in a little time six or seven hundred thousand Duckets, besides what was ordinarily extorted by Bulls. Then from the new Money (with which I filled all Italy) I extracted no small pro­fit, nor let I any occasion slip that would raise Money, perfectly knowing, that without that, nothing could be well done either sacred or prophane. Then that I might arrive at greater things; Bononia, for many years in Possession of the Bentivolii, I restored to the See of Rome; The Venetians, never before conquered, I beat by Sea; and the Duke of Ferrara, after having long vexed him with tedious War, shut up in Nassa, That schismatical Cabal, with a fictitious Council, I eluded, drivingout, as we say, one nail with another: Lastly, with the French, then Formidable to all the World, I disturbed all Italy, and had disturbed the Spaniards too, for thither I inten­ded, had Fate granted me longer life. And here take notice with how invincible a mind I acted. I perceived the French to cast a severe eye over me. I let my beard grow, things being almost brought into despair, when on a sudden comes a Golden Meslenger, bringing news that many thousand French were slaughtered at Raven­na; there Julius reviv'd. Upon these accidents I was for three dayes accounted as dead even to my self, and yet here again, beyond all hope of my own, I revived. And of such power was either my Authority or my cun­ning, that at this day there is no Christian King whom I have not stined up to Arms, breaking and trampling in pieces all League wherewith they had Allyed them­selves together. Next that League (which at Cambray the Kings of France and Romans and other Princes en­tred into with me) I utterly abolished, so that not the [Page 12]least mention was made of it. But above all this, after having maintained so great an Army, Adorned such magnificent Triumphs, Exhibited such expensive Plays, Built so many Places, yet dying, I left fifty hundred thou­sand Duckets; and had done greater things if that Jew Physician, who by his Art so long prorogued my life, could have spun it out yet further. And Oh! that now some Magician could restore me to life, that I might see an end put to those glorious Actions I have begun; yet dying I took diligent care that the Wars, by me set afoot in the World, should not be composed; and made it my business, even at my last gasp, to have Money set a part only for that use. Now to a Pope meriting so much from Christ and the Church, do you delay to open the Gates of Christ? But that which is most wonderful, is, That all these things were perpetra­ted by the sole virtue of my own mind, and I had none of those little helps which others use to have. Not from birth, since I never knew my Father, which I may say to my own glory. Not from beauty, for all men abhorred my Goblin-face. Not from learning, which I never attained to. Not from strength of body, being subject to those infirmities I before told you of. Not from youth, for I did these things in my age. Not from the sailes of popular Applause, for there were none but hated me. Not from my clemency or granting fa­vours to others, for I was so inexorable, that I even raged against those to whom others coneeded all things.

How can this be?

Though it seem hard, you'l find it somewhat easie)

But Fortune, Age, Sickness; in short, Gods [Page 13]and Men opposing, only buoy'd up by my own Cou­rage and Money, in so few years, I acted such great things, and left so much matter to my Successors, that they have Work cut out for ten years: Thus much I have truly, but modestly said of my self, which if any of those which were wont to be about me at Rome, should set off in their flourishing colours, you would hear of a God and not a Man.

Invincible Warrior! since all the Exploits you tell me are new or unusual, let me plead an Excuse from my wonder, or my ignorance; and let it not be a trouble to you to answer to some particulars I would in­quire into. What are those neat pretty trim'd things with you?

These I brought up for my Soul's sake.

And what are those black and scarrified ones?

They are Souldiers and Captains who bravely died in Warfare for me, and the Church; some at the siege of Bononia, more in the War against the Veneti­ans, and most at Ravenna, to all which Heaven is due by Covenant: for long ago I by large Bulls promised they should go directly to Heaven whoever lost their lives fighting for the cause and service of Julius.

I guess then these to be them who were often troublesome to me before your coming hither, (only they did not endeavour to force their entrance) but shewed some leaden Bulls.

Then you did not admit them for ought I hear?

Admit them? no sure, nor any of those kind of People; for so Christ taught me that these Gates were not to be opened to those who brought great [Page 14]Leaden Seals, but those who had cloath'd the Naked, fed the Hungry, given drink to the Thirsty, visited the Captive, and lod [...]g the Stranger: for if he would have those excluded who Prophesied in his Name, and in his Name cast out Devils, and did many wondrous works: Canst thou think he would have those admitted who only bring a Bull hither in the name of Pope Julius?

Had I but known it?

I understand you; if any of them had come from Hell and told it you, you would have declared War against me.

Yes, and have Excommunicated you too.

But to proceed: Why are you arm'd your self?

As though you knew not that two Swords be­longed to the Pope, or would you go to War naked?

Indeed when I sat in that place I knew of no Sword, unless it were the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

Malchus did not preach the same Doctrine whose eare possibly you cut off without a Sword.

I remember, and confess it; but then I fought for my Master Christ, not for my self: for the Life of my Lord, not for money, or secular power; nor fought I then as high Priest, the Keyes being only pro­mised, not given: nor had I received the Holy Ghost, and yet I was commanded to put up my Sword; that he might publickly admonish this kind of fighting was not fit for Priests, no not for Christians. But again, Why dost thou so gloriously boast hy self a Lygurian? as if it were any thing pertinent to Christ's Vicar what People he was derived from.

Yes, I esteem it an act of great Piety to en­noble [Page 15]my Nation, and therefore have inscribed this title on my Money, Statues, Walls, and Arches.

Then you know your Country, though you did not know your Father. At first I thought thou wouldst have talked of the Country of the Heavenly Jerusalem and of the Faithful, and of its only Prince whom they desire to Sanctifie, that is, to praise his Name. But why dost thou add Nephew by the Sister to Sixtus, a man I wonder should never come hither, especially having been Pope, and Allyed to so great a Captain as thou art. Therefore pray tell me what manner of man he was? Was he a Priest?

Ay, and a brave Souldier besides, of a strict Re­ligious Order, to wit, a Franciscan.

Indeed I knew among the Laicks a very good man called Francis, a pious contemner of riches, pleasures, and ambition: has that poor man now such Lordly followers?

You, as far as I can perceive, would have no­thing improve or grow better. He was poor and blessed, and now his followers are so rich, that even we envy them.

'Tis well. But to return where we were; Why Nephew to Sixtus?

I'le assure you that's done very advisedly to stop the mouths of those affirm me to be his Son, and talk it a little too freely.

Freely, and is it not as truly?

But that suits not with the honour of the Papa­cy, to which alwayes respect should be had.

It would have the best respect and care of its own honour and dignity, if it admitted nothing might fall under just reproach; but let me conjure you by the Pa­pal [Page 16]Majesty to tell me truly, whether this be the solemn and common way of coming to the Popedom which you have now set forth?

For some Ages past there hath been no other, unless he that is to succeed me do possibly create a new one: For I was no sooner got into the Chair, but I streight published a formidable [...]ll, forbidding all at­tempts of arriving at that Seat by those means: which Bull a little before my death I renewed. Of what force it proves, others will see.

I believe none could better describe that mischief then your self: but I wonder there should be any would accept the gift of it, since it is obnoxious to such cares, and with such difficulty to be strugled for. I should rather think Pontifical power should scarce com­pel any to undertake the office of Presbyter or Deacon.

I wonder not at you, for in your times the Re­veuue and Reward of Bishops was nothing but labours, watchings, fastings, preaching, and oftentimes death. Now 'tis Empire and Tyranny, and who for a Kingdom, when there was hopes of it, would not venture to die?

Well said: But for Bononia, was it departed from the Faith that it was to be restored to the Roman Church?

No, no; there was no such thing in it.

Perhaps the Bentivolii by their ill admini­stration ruined the Commonwealth.

Rather that City flourished and increased under them with large and stately Buildings, which made it the more greedily thirsted after.

I understand you; they had then wrong­fully invaded it.

Not so neither, they possessed it by Covenant.

The Citizens then endured not him for their Prince.

Rather they doted on him, and universally ha­ted me.

What could then be the cause?

Because he so governed, that out of the vast sums he gathered from the Citizens, scarce a few thou­sands returned to our Treasury. Besides, it was conve­nient for advance of other matters I had then plotted: therefore the French labouring in the business, and o­thers affrighted with my thunder-bolts; Bentivolio driven out, I placed Cardinals and Bishops over the City, that the whole benefit might accrue to the Roman Church. Besides, whereas whilst in their Possession there was to be seen nothing but the Imperial Titles and Arms: Now our Statues were every where to be seen, our Titles read, and our Trophies adored. Everywhere now stands a Brass or Marble Julius. Lastly, had you beheld with what Royal Triump [...] I entred into Bononia, you would perhaps have contemned all the triumphs of the Scipio's and Octavius, and have thought it was not without cause I fought so sturdily for Bononia; nay, then would you have seen at the same time the Church Militant and Triumphant.

'Twas then in your dayes, I perceive, that happened, which Christ has commanded us to pray, Thy Kingdom come. But the Venetians what had they done?

They began to follow the Gre k's example, making only a laughing-stock of me, and casting on me all reproaches imaginable.

Were they true or false?

What's that to the purpose? 'Tis Sacriledge [Page 18]to whisper any thing of the Pope of Rome unless in his praise. Then they disposed Benefices as they pleased, no Centroversies were transferred to me, no Dispensati­ons traffick [...]d for; what need I say more? They afflicted the See of Rome with intolerable damage, by usurping no small part of thy Patrimony.

My Patrimony? Prithee what do'st talk of my Patrimony? who forsaking all, naked, followed naked Christ.

I mean certain Towns belonging to the See of Rome, for so it pleased the Holy Fathers to call a pecu­liar part of their Possessions.

You consulted my infamy with your own gain: but is it this you call intolerable damage?

What else?

But were their Manners corrupt? or was Piety grown cold?

Pish: thou talk'st of trifles: I'le tell you they cheated us of an infinite thousands of Duckets: which would have maintained some legions of Souldiers.

A dreadful damage indeed to an Usurer: But what was Ferrara's fault?

His? He was the most ungrateful of all man­kind? Pope Alexander the Vicar of Christ had so much respect for him, that he gave him his younger Daughter in marriage, adding by way of Dower a rich and plen­tiful Jurisdiction to a false-hearted man, who forgetful of so much humanity and kindness was continually bark­ing against me for Simony and Buggery: some Subsidies and Tolls likewise he laid claim to; but that was not much, but yet too much to be neglected by a careful Pastor.

Ay, that was such a trader)

But to make short the story, It was very ne­cessary to the business I had in hand, to joyn this Domi­nion to ours, by reason of the conveniency of its scitua­tion, therefore I endeavoured by raising this disturb­ance to confer this Government on my Kinsman, a stout Man, and ready to dare any thing for the Chur­ches sake, as who lately with his own hand had for my sake slain Cardinal Papeias. For as for my Daughters Husband, he was content with his fortune.

What's this I hear? Have Popes Wives and Children?

Wives of their own indeed they have not, but what a mighty wonder is it if they have Children, since they are Men and not Eunuchs.

But that Schismatical Cabal, what were they doing?

It would be too long to repeat that story from the beginning. I'le mak't as short as I can. The Court of Rome began to be scandalous to many, they reported it every where defiled with Markets and Fairs of filthy lucre, prodigious and abominable lusts, witchcrafts, sacri­ledges, murders and simony; me they declared a Simoniac, drunkard, swine, covetous wretch, and every way unwor­thy of that place, which I held to the dammage of the whole Christian Religion; therefore a generall Council was to be called to redress these grievances; they al­ledged that I had sworn upon my taking on me this ho­nour, that within two years I would call a Council, upon which condition only I was created Pope.

And was not that true?

Yes very true: but as soon as I saw fitting, I absolved my self of that Oath; or if I had not, who would have stuck at alittle perjury when a Crown was at [Page 20] stake? In other things indeed Piety may be regarded, as another Julius, my second self, elegantly said. But see the impudence of these men, and whither it arrived; N [...]ne Cardinals revolt from me, summon a Council, in­vite and intreat me to Praeside it; which when they could not obtain they declare Maximilian as Emperour, (Histories testifying that Councils of old used to be summoned by the Roman Emperours) and Lewis the 12th of France Heads of it. I tremble in the repeating it: Thus they rend in pieces the seamless Coat of Christ which even his Crucifiers left whole.

But wert thou such a one as they represen­ted thee?

What's that to the purpose? Paint me more wicked then the Cyclops, more foolish then Morychus, more unlearned and blockish then a Stock, and more de­formed and filthy then a Toad: Whoever holds once this Key of Power, ought to be reverenced as Christ's Vicar, and reputed as Most Holy?

What! though he be openly wicked?

Ay, never so openly, for it is not to be endured that he who acts here in God's stead, and should be e­steemed as a God among Men should be subject to the reproofs of every idle fellow, or exposed to every ones re­proaches?

But it is opposite to common sense, to think well of that which we apparently behold to be evil; or to speak well of that which we think to be wicked.

Let every one think what they please, but let them take care to speak well, or else hold their tongues; for the Pope of Rome is not to be reproved, no not by a General Council.

One thing I know, that whoever pretends [Page 21]to supply Christ's place upon Earth, ought to be as like him as he can, and so lead his life that it be un­blameable, and that none can justly speak ill of him: but surely those Popes are but in an evil case, who must be beholding to threatnings, rather then good actions, for mens good words, and whose greatest glory is, that they can compel men who think evil of them to silence: But answer me one thing; Is a wicked and pestilent Pope no way to be removed?

Ridiculous! By whom should he be removed, who is the highest?

For that reason he ought the rather to be re­moved, because the highest, for the higher he is, if he be evil, the more pernicious he is; but you, Julius, make a much more happy High Priest then Christ ever consti­tuted, who whilst he thinks himself highest, quite for­gets that he is a Priest. And though really the worst of mankind, thinks he may lawfully, and unpunish't, be the worst; because by title the greatest. A Priest so much the highest by his title, that he claims and challenges the highest and supreamest right (not without the ghest injury) over Kings who are truly supream, and Em­perours who are the highest under God; and as if they were sollicited and intreated to Reign by virtue of a forged and pretended Vicarship to Christ, usurping a right first to prohibit sacred and then temporal things, a right of dispensing their Subjects from that Faith and Obedience due to them by God's own Command: In fine, a right of waging War against them for any light occasion (perhaps a wicked one) and pursuing it after a Fonti­ficial manner, not to a Spiritual amendment of life, but to the taking away Temporal power. And in the mean time you grant this Pope by virtue of his highest place, [Page 22]or (as you would rather perhaps have it expressed) his Seat unmoveable by any mortal power (no not by the greatest Kings or Emperours) a Power of violating all Rights not only Humane but Divine, and making a mixture, as one may say, of Heavenly and Earthly wickedness. Happy, Julius, was it for the World that Death at length had this right over thee, (and I believe thou blamest it too for acting too tyrannically) which thou so stiffly deniest to all other mortals: But was it thus ordained by Christ, or is the Church's advantage so to be provided for, that its life and safety must be re­posed in the death of such an High Priest?

But if the Pope of Rome be to be Reformed, it must be done by a Council, now no Council can be called without the Pope's consent, otherwise 'tis a Cabal and no Council. Or when it is called, it can decree nothing which the Pope opposes; for in him is the chief Presi­dency and absolute Power, so that the Pope alone is much Superiour to any General Council, and from his Office he cannot be removed for any crime whatsoever.

Not for Murder?

Not for Parricide.

Not for Fornication?

That's a toy. I tell you not for Incest?

Not for Simonaical Impiety?

Not for six hundred.

Not for Witchcraft?

No, nor for Sacriledge.

Not for Blasphemy?

No I say.

Not for all these together, drawn up into one mass of mischiefs?

Add if you will to these the Names of six [Page 23]hundred crimes yet more filthy then those, yet could not a Pope for all those be removed from the Papacy.

Indeed, Julius, you seem to have a very ho­nourable opinion of General Councils (as above Kings and Emperours) but you only seem to have so: for you do not unwillingly approve that Councils of old were as Colledges of Physicians, to whose care the Cure of the Church, when indisposed, was to be com­mitted: But at this day they are rarely called to that end, or you indeed can scarce be brought to endure they should be, but the Head (for so you love to call it) though it be not in very good health; nay, though that Head be so infected that it may deservedly be accounted the common disease and plague of the Church; yet that polluted Head, though deserving to be cut off, or removed, is not at all in your judgment to be submitted to the censure of an Occumenical Council which are (as it were) Representatives of the Church?

Yet there is one thing for which some are of opinion he may be removed.

For what good act must that be? For a crime it cannot be, since it cannot be for those I have before named?

For the crime of Heresie, so he be publickly con­victed of it: but that's frivolous too, nor do's not a tittle derogate from the Papal Majesty; for in the first place he may abrogate that Law if it displease him; then again, who dares impeach the Pope of Rome, encom­passed with so many Guards? besides if he be prest hard to call a Council, the Recantation is easie, if he cannot deny summoning them. And lastly there are a thousand starting-holes for him to slip out of, if he be a Man and not a Block.

But tell me by thy Pontifical Power, who Established these Excellent Laws?

Who should but the Fountain of all Laws, the Pope of Rome, and it belongs to him to repeal, inter­pret, explain, streighten or enlarge any Law as shall be most for his advantage.

Happy were the Pope could he make a Law to deceive Christ and Heaven as well as he can a Council. But indeed against such a Pope as thou hast now de­scribed, such an open wicked Wretch, such a Drunkard, Murderer, Simoniac, Sorcerer, P [...]rju [...]er, Ravenous and prodigious Villain, everywhere stained over and defiled with all kinds of Lust, not so much a General Council were to be wished, as a furious People arm'd with stones, that so publick a plague of the World might as publick­ly be taken out of it. But tell me what's the reason, why the Popes of Rome so much abhor General Coun­cils?

Because such a company of Excellent Men do not alittle obscure the Papal dignity, where the Learned bring boldness and confidence along with them; the Good spur'd by their Consciences, speak things more freely than is expedient for us: Those who have any worth or power will use their Authority, and some will be mixed among these Envious of our Glory, and come thither with prepared thoughts to lessen the Papal Power and Authority: In short, not one sits here but thinks he may assume an Authority from the Council to say some­what against the Pope, whence it comes to pass that ne­ver Council ended so happily, but that the Pope ran some hazard of his Majesty, or felt his Greatness decline. Of which you your self may be a witness, unless you have forgot it; for though then the Dispute was only con­cerning [Page 25] light matters, not Empire and Royalty as now; yet. James was bold to add no small matter to what you had set down; For when you absolutely freed the Gentiles from the yoke of the Mosaical Law. James succeeding, excepted Fornication and Blood, and things offered to Idols, as if he would correct your Decree; so that there are at this day, who think (moved to it by this passage) that the chief Pontifical Power was in James, and not in you.

Then thou thinkest that nothing is to be ta­ken care of, but the Preservation of the Papal Majesty, as if the Publick safety of the Church were not more necessary to be looked after.

Let every one mind their own advantage, we look after that which most concerns us.

But if Christ had done the same, That Church had not now been which thou boasts thy self Monarch over, nor can I see how it agrees with him that calls himself the Vicar of Christ, to act things contrary to Christ. But pray proceed, by what art did you dash in pieces that schismatical Council, as you call it?

I le tell it you truly; conceive it if you can. In the first place the Emperour Maximilian (for so he is called) being one of the easiest men alive, though by solemn Nuntio's he summon'd the Council, yet I found sly and unspeakable ways to remove him from his purpose. Besides, by the like arts, I perswaded some Cardinals that some Instruments they had already de­creed and published, calling again the Notaries and Witnesses, they should as publickly deny.

But was this lawful?

What is not lawful when the Pope approves it? who, when he pleases, may make swearing no swearing, [Page 26]as being capable of absolving all Oaths. But indeed to speak ingeniously, this was somewhat an impudent trick, but nothing more to my purpose then presented it self. Thereupon when I saw how things were like to be, that I should contract the envie of the Council, e­specially so summoned, to the end I might not be ex­cluded, but humbly besought and desired to praeside in it; see what a Web I wove following my Predecessors Ex­ample. I took my turn to hasten the meeting of the Council, finding fault that neither the time nor place by them appointed, was fitting or convenient. I there­fore immediately summoned a Council to Rome, whe­ther I thought none would venture to come, who were not friends to Julius, and would second at least, if not wholly obey him; to which purpose I drew them by many Examples, and created for that end many new Cardinals in all things fitted to my designs.

Again, this Council if I had not summoned it had not been a Council, and yet it was utterly unexpe­dient to my Affairs, that such a croud of Bishops and Abbots should flock to Rome, among whom it was impos­sible, but that some must be Pious and honest: Therefore I advised, that for the saving of charges, they should only send one or more from each Province; and when at length this seemed none of the safest courses, a few out of so many Provinces amounting to a great num­ber, even when they were now ready for the Journey, I forbid their coming, proroguing the Council to a fur­ther day, and giving sufficient and probable reasons for it. And by these arts, universally excluding those I doubted again giving notice of the day I had first pre­scribed, Instituted a Council at Rome, consisting only of [Page 27]those before by me prepared. Among which, though some Dissenters might appear, yet I was confident none durst make open resistance against Julius, so powerful in Guards and Forces. Now by this means I stirr'd up mighty envie in that French Council, sending away se­veral Letters, in which I made mention of our most holy Council, execrating and cursing that Council of theirs, and thereupon naming it a Conventicle of Satans, a Ca­ball of the Devil, and a Schismatical Conspiracy.

Certainly those Cardinals must in your judgment be very wretches, who were authors and chiefs of that Council.

I never enquire after manners; but the prime manager of this business was the Bishop of Rheims, who guided by I know not what holiness, alwayes took care of reforming the Church, which he did in several places; but him death snatcht away, doing me a very grateful office. To him succeeded the Cardinal of Sancta Cruz a Spaniard, of an unblameable life, but a morose old Man, and a Divine: which sort of men used often to be troublesome to the Popes of Rome.

But a Divine could have no probable pre­tence to cover his design.

Yes many, he alledged the times were never more unquiet, that the Church never groan'd under more intolerable distempers, which were to be remedied by a General Council. That when I was admitted to the Papacy, I had taken the Sacrament, that in my second year I would summon a General Council, and so settle it, that I could not dissolve it without consent of the Cardinals. In short, though often admonished by my Brother Cardinals, requested and called upon by Princes, I listned to any thing rather then this, so that it plainly [Page 28]appeared, that while Julius was living no Council would be. They urged the Examples of former Coun­cils, cited several Papal Laws, by which it appeared that when I or mine waved, calling a Council, the right de­volv'd to them, and that other Princes conniving, the gift of Summoning appertained to the Roman Emper­our, who formerly alone cited all Councils, and to the French King as the next Sovereign.

Did they not then write scurrilous things against you?

No, the Rascals understood things better then I would have had them; This hateful matter they ma­naged with a wonderful modesty, for they not only for­bore revilings, but never named me but with an Honora­tory Preamble, beseeching and conjuring me by all things Sacred and Pious, that as a thing only worthy of me, and as a thing I had sworn, I would summon and praeside in a General Council, and apply my self with them to heal the distempers of the Church: Nor can I tell you with what envy I looked upon this temperance of theirs, especially since they founded all things upon the Holy Scriptures, it being apparent several Learned Men were set apart for that end, whilst in the mean time they added, fastings, prayers, and an admirable frugality of life, that they might the better urge me with an opinion of their holiness.

On the other hand, under what pretence didst thou summon a Council?

Under a much more splendid one; I pretended that it was my desire first, to Reform the Head of the Church, that is my self; then Kings and Princes; and lastly, the whole body of the People.

'Tis a fine Comedy this, but I expect the [Page 29] issue; pray let me hear what those Divines decreed in that Satanical Cabal?

Such unworthy and abominable things as my Soul detests the very memory of.

Were they so horrible wicked?

Altogether impious, sacrilegious, and worse then heretical, which unless I had trampled on with hands and feet, and opposed both with art and arms, gone had been the glory and dignity of the Roman Church.

This makes me more desirous to know what those things were.

Oh! I abhor the relation of them. These wretches attempted to reduce the Church now flourishing with so much riches and dominion to its old rags and miserable frugality; That Cardinals who now with noise and splendor exceeded some Tyrants in their manner of living, should be confined to a life of Poverty; That Bishops would live after a more moderate rate, with smaller trains, equipage, and horses: They decreed, That Cardinals should not in all places swallow up whole Bishopricks, Abbies, and Benefices, and that none should have more then one Bishoprick, and that those who right or wrong (as they said) heaped up to themselves (if they could) six hundred Benefices, they thought fit should be compelled to be content with such allowance as was fit for a frugal Priest: That none should be crea­ted Pope, or Bishop, or Priest by bribery, or simony, or through favour or base compliance, but only for the me­rits and example of his life, and that if it were found otherwise, he should thence be removed: That it should be lawful to degrade the Pope for open wickedness; And that Bishops, either Whoremasters or Drunkards, should be deprived; And Priests openly scandalous, not only [Page 30] removed from the Priesthood, but punished with muti­lation of members; With many other things of that kind, for it troubles me to think of all which did whol­ly tend to this, to load and burthen us with a demure Sanctity, and rob and spoil us of riches and Empire.

Therefore what did you decree against these things in your most holy Roman Council?

you seem to have forgot what I told you: That I had no other design in that Council but to drive out a nail with a nail. The first Meeting was spent in cer­tain solemn Ceremonies, which for Authority sake we think fit yet to observe, though not at all pertinent to the matter, where two Sanctions were used, one of the holy Gross, and the other of the holy Spirit; as if by his guidance all things were there to be done, and then was recited an Oration full of my praises. In the next Sessions, with all the force I had, I flung out my thunder­bolts against those schismatical Cardinals, pronouncing whatsoever they had, or whatsoever they were about to decree, more then impious, more then sacrilegious, and worse then heretical.

So that if by chance repenting they had de­clared you a good and excellent Pope, that had been most impious and heretical?

Altogether, as founded on no reason nor Autho­rity:

For what did it concern them to decree what kind of Person the Pope of Rome should be? But to proceed, at the third Sessions, with the like fulminations I terrified France, removing the Marts from Lyons, and some other places by name excepted, thereby the more to alicnate the Subjects minds from the King, and stir [Page 31]up sedition among them; And that done that it might bear more Authority, I sent authentick Bulls thereof to all Princes, especially to those whom I perceived most inclined to our Faction.

And was this all was done?

All was done I desired; I overcame: since on­ly my Decrees prevailed. Those three Cardinals that persisted in their attempts, with publick Ceremonies I deprived of their Cardinal dignity, and conferr'd their Church-livings upon others, so that they could hardly be restored, delivering them over to Satan, whom I would have rather delivered to the flames here, could I have got them into my clutches.

And yet if thou tellest truth, the Decrees of that schismatical Cabal seem to have much more Sanctity in them then those of thy most holy Council, from whence, as I can perceive, nothing issued but tyran­nical threats, curses, and cruelty mix'd with craft. If Satan were the Author of that Cabal, His Spirit seems nearer to approach Christ's, then that strange one mode­rated in your Council?

I tell you again and again, Have a care what you say, for in all my Bulls I have cursed all those who shall but speak any thing in favour of that Cabal.

Wretch! how thou yet breath'st forth the old Julius! But what was the issue of this business?

I left it in the state you hear; how it will come off, Fortune must decide.

Then the Schism yet continues?

It continues and very dangerously.

And thou, though Christ's Vicar, had'st ra­ther have a Schism, then a true Council?

I had rather have three hundred Schisms then I [Page 32]be compelled in my Authority, or forced to give an ac­count of my whole life.

Thou art so conscious of thy self.

What's that to thee?

I understand you; It was not expedient to remove that Conclave, but did you get the victory?

That's in Fortunes hand. Though we have the more Money, for the French are Exhausted by con­tinual Wars. The English have yet Mountains of Gold untouch'd: This I can undoubtedly Prophecy, Should the French overcome, which I abhor thinking of, the very names of things would be changed, and that most Holy Council be called Satan's Cabal, I no Pope, but the shadow of one, and they be said onely to have acted by the Holy Spirit, and we done all things by the Spirit of the Devil: But I have great confidence that the Moneys I have left will prevent such disasters.

But what had you to say against the French and their King, him whom your Predecessors graced with the Title of most Christian, especially since under their protection you both confess to have lived, and been raised to that more then Imperial Crown, and lastly to have by their Aid gained Bononia, and other Cities, and overcome the Venetians, till then unconquered. How could so many fresh kindnesses be blotted out of your memory? How so many Leagues dash'd in pieces?

That's too long a story to explain, but that I may do something briefly, Nothing was innovated by me, but what I had long before conceived in my mind: Then I began to execute what formerly, to suit with the necessity of things I dissembled, I now laid open. I ever in my heart hated the French. That you may ac­count [Page 33]as spoken by an Oracle, nor can ever any Italian affect those Barbarians, no more then the Wolf do's the Lamb: But I not only an Italian, but a Genovese, so long used them like Friends as I had need of them: Therefore whilst these Barbarians were useful to me, I bore much, dissembled much, and feigned many things: In short, there was nothing I did not either do or suffer, but when things were brought to the State I wished for, it was time to act the true Julius, and remove that whole sum of Barbarians out of Italy.

What kind of Beasts are those thou callest Barbarians?

They are Men.

Men? but not Christians.

Yes Christians too; but what's that to the pur­pose?

They are Christians then it seems; but un­learned and leading a Rustick life.

They are a most flourishing People, and especial­ly which made us first envy them in riches.

Why do you then sirname them Barbarians? What's that you mutter?

Let me now take a turn to speak, Italy though it were daub'd and besmear'd over with the filth of all barbarous Nations, so that it seem'd a very Jakes, yet from the Learning of the Gentiles had drunk in this mad­ness that all born out of Italy they call Barbarians, which nick-name they account more reproachful than either Parricide or committer of Sacriledge.

So it seems, but since Christ died for all men, and that with him there is no respect of Persons: Whilst thou professest to be the Vicar of Christ, why do'st thou not receive all with the same mind among whom Christ has made no difference.

The truth is, I desire to embrace both the In­dians, Africans, and Ethiopeans, so they would submit and pay Tribute; but all these we cast off, and next the Greeks, as men too close fisted, & but slight acknowledgers of the Majesty of the Pope.

Then the See of Rome is as it were the store­house of all the World.

And is it any mighty matter, if from all we reap carnal things, when to all we sowe spiritual things?

What do'st thou talk of Spiritual things? I have heard nothing yet but what is Worldly? Perhaps thou do'st deliver the Holy Doctrine from Christ?

There are those may Preach if they will, nor do we prohibit them, provided they speak nothing against our Majesty.

What then?

What then? why should whatever Kings exact be given, but that receiving it they should singularly im­part, though from us they never receive any thing; for whatever is at any time Holy, is to be imputed to us, though we snore all days of our life. Though besides that, we do give large Indulgences for a little Money. We dispence with heinous matters for no mighty sum, and bless all we meet everywhere and that for nothing.

The truth is, I understand none of these things; but to return to what we were disputing of: Why do's your most sacred Majesty so much abhor the Barbarians, that Heaven and Earth must be brought to­gether, rather then they not driven out of Italy?

All kind of barbarous People are superstitious, e­specially the French; for the Spaniard do's not so ill a­gree with us, whether you respect their language or their manners. And yet these I would have removed too, that I might at more liberty have acted my own pleasure.

Why? do they, besides Christ, worship other Gods?

No, but they too diligently and anxiously worship Christ himself, and with some ancient and long-since obsolete words 'tis a miracle how foolish men are moved.

Perhaps they'r Magick?

You trifle. They'r Simony, Blasphemy, Sodomy, Witchcraft and Sorcery.

Hold: good words pray.

As thou now abhor'st them, so do they.

I meddle not with Names, the things themselves are with you, I will not say they'r with any Christians.

Surely the Barbarians themselves want not their vices, but are infected with divers, only they curse and execrate ours, and flatter themselves in their own; on the contrary, we cherish our selves in ours, and abhor theirs. We esteem Poverty an abominable reproach, which right or wrong is to be avoided; They scarce think a Christian ought to enjoy any Riches, unless such as are gained without fraud. We scarce dare name Drunkenness (though I must confess in that I should not so vehemently dissent from them if they would agree in other things); but the Germans think it a venial sin, and rather merry then wicked. They violently ban and detest Ʋsury; we think no sort of men more useful and necessary to the Church. Prepostrous Venery, or Sodomy, they look upon as so filthy, that whoever do's but so much as name it, they think pollutes the very Sun and Air; we think quite otherwise: So for Simony, a word quite banished out of nature, they yet fear the shadow of, and stubbornly hold fast to old and decayed Laws: We look a clean contrary way: And of this kind there are many others wherein the Barbarians agree not with us, whereupon, whilst we lead such a different course of life, they are to be forbid prying into our my­steries, and to be suspected though they are ignorant of them; for if once they understood the secrets of our Court, they would pre­sently divulge them; and by what means, I know not, they are most clear sighted in reproving Vices: They write most scandalous Letters to their Country-men, and make a clamor everywhere, that with us is not the seat of Christ, but the sink of Satan. They di­spute of me, whether gaining in such a manner the Chair, and li­ving as I did, I ought to be esteemed as Pope. And thus in the first place they at once lessen among ignorant people the opinion of [Page 36]our Holiness and our Authority, who before had never heard any thing of us but that we acted in Christ's stead upon Earth, and held the next place, and therefore were Peers to God in Power; and from these things intollerable dammage accrues to the Church. We sell fewer Dispensations and at a lower rate: There comes in less Revenue from Bishopricks, Benefices and Abbeys: The common people, if any thing be exacted from them, pay it with an ill will: In short, every where the gain is less, and the Market thinner: And last of all, our Thunder-bolts do less and less frighten; so that if once their boldness should fly so high as to declare a wicked Pope could do nothing, and so contemn our Threatnings and Excommu­nications, we should be in a condition of starving. But if they were once got further off (such is the wit of the Barbarians) they would more assiduously adore us, and we by Letters aptly writ, would drive these thoughts from their minds. St. Pet. This is not fair dealing, if herein depends the Apostolical Authority that your lives should be cloked, and your frauds concealed. We used to wish nothing more then that what we did in our Chambers might be known to all the World, and therefore for the most we ordered our actions as if all eyes had been upon us: But to proceed, Has the World now such Religious Princes, and is their reverence to Priests so great, that at the nod of one, and he such a one too, they will universally take Arms? for in my time we suffered under those deadly and despiteful Enemies. Jul. As for matter of life they are not such superstitious Christians, they plainly contemn us, and look upon us as trifles, unless some of the weaker of them stand in awe of that terrible thunder-bolt of Excommunieation, nor are they with it moved indeed and in truth of opinion; There are those which hope for, or fear our Riches, and for that yield not a little to our Authority. Some are perswaded that great misfortunes will persecute those who in any affair give any vexation to the Priesthood, almost all as they are civilly Educated do somewhat fa­vour Ceremonies, especially encouraged by us, for Ceremonies and Fables keep the Vulgar in awe. So that one thing with another the game goes seriously on. We grace them with magnificent titles though they be the wickedst of men, Calling this Catholick, a se­cond most Serene, a third most Illustrious, a fourth Augustus, all of them beloved Sons; and they in return still call us Most Holy Fa­thers in their Letters, and oft-times have submitted themselves to [Page 37] kiss our Feet, and when the matter treated of is not too mighty, yield it often to our Authority, whereby they gain themselves an opinion of Piety among the Vulgar; We send them consecrated Roses, Tiara's, Swords, and confirm their Dignity with most power­ful Bulls; they again send us Horses, Souldiers, Money, and some­times Boyes; and thus as the saying is, the Mules scrub one another. St. Pet. If they be such, I do not understand upon what account you could stir up such Potent Kings to such dismal Wars, & espe­cially to the breaking of so many Leagues. Jul. But if you are capable of conceiving those things I am about to tell you, you will understand more then Apostolick Wit. St. Pet. I will endeavour it as much as I can. Jul. My study then in the first place was to understand the Genius, Manners, Inclination, Riches and Designs of all People, who agreed with who, and who and who were at enmity; then turning all this to advantage, in the first place I easily set the French against the Venetians, because there happened to be an old grudge between them.

Moreover, we knew that people greedy of Proroguing Empire, and the Venetians likewise had some Cities of theirs in Possession. Therefore I mingled my business with their business; Then as to the Emperour, though otherwise he were not any great Friend to the French, yet having no other hope of regaining from the Ve­netians what they held from him (for they held several large Cities) he joyned himself for the time in this War. At length when I did not like that the French should grow too powerful (for matters succeeded beyond what I desired) I stir'd up the King of Spain against them, a man in the first place of no Ada­mantine Faith, and in the next obliged to oppress the growing pow­er of the French, among many other reasons, for fear of being Ex­cluded the Realm of Naples. Then though I approved not of their doings, I feignedly received the Venetians into favour, that now imbittered by Sufferings, I might let their rage loose upon the French: And again, the Emperour whom but a little before I had joyned with the French, I drew away from their Party, and that partly by Moneys which are always prevalent with a needy man, partly by Letters and Nuntio's, whetting his ancient hate to the French, with which he had ever burnt, although there wanted an opportunity of Revenge. Then the English I knew to have a na­tural hatred against the French, and besides understood that Nation [Page 38]to be forward and desirous of War, principally out of hopes of the spoil: Lastly, at that time through the new liberty which hap­pened to them by the death of one of their Severest Kings, they were grown insolent and almost rebellious, and so easily stirr'd up to any madness. There was to these conveniencies for my Affairs another added, That that King was [...] Youth, or rather a Boy, and lately came to the Kingdom, of a brisk and lively wit, but tru­ly youthful, that is, unquiet and Warlike, who even from his very Infancy is said to have wished that he might wage War with the French. Above all he was Kinsman to the King of Spain, whom I had already drawn to Arms. All these things I turned to the Churches benefit, and by six hurdred Letters [...]one of them writ without cunning, at length involved all those Princes in a bloody War, nor did I leave the rest unattempted, that is, neither the Kings of Hungary, Portugal, nor the Kingly Duke of Burgundy; but because none of these things were any of their concerns, I could not compel them; and I knew if I raised any of them to a storm, none of the rest would quiet them. These therefore since they would act after their own way, received so honest a Title from us that the more destrustion they brought to Christian People, the more Religiously they seem'd to protect the Church of God. And that you may more admire either my wit or my happiness; The King of Spain at that time warr'd against the Turks with incre­dible success, and to his great advantage, and yet leaving off all that, he turned his whole strength against the French: Moreover, the Emperour who was not only tyed by many Leagues; but by many great good Offices to the French, were it but this, that by their labour and charge he had recovered and received his Cities in Italy, and had only this to do to defend his own, and being already departed from Padua, and gone towards Burgundy, to the end to drive out the Geldrians a Potent Enemy (against whom he had been the Author of raising the War,) out of his Nepheus the Duke of Burgundy's Countrey; yet I so brought it about, that neglecting his own Affairs he should follow mine. Then there is no People among whom the Pope's Authority is of less value then the English (which will easily appear to any, shall turn over the life of St. Thomas of Canterbury, and the ancient Constitutions of their Kings) yet that Nation most impatient of any Exactions now suffered themselves to be fleeced: but it is a wonder that the [Page 39] Priests who used to send us all they could gather, I brought to this, that they paid the tribute to the King, without consider­ing what a door they had opened for Kings hereafter. Nor were the King's sufficiently aware what president they made against themselves, to wit, that the Roman Prelate might afterwards di­sturb the Kingdom if he disliked the Prince. And that King being young, went fiercer on then I desired or commanded, and yet I was better pleased he should sin on that side: but it would be too long to declare particularly by what arts I stirr'd up all these Princes to so dreadful a War against Christians, which never any Pope could Excite them to against Turks. St. Pet. But it may happen that this firebrand of War thrown about by thee, may set the whole World in a flame. Jul. Let it flame so the See of Rome preserve its dignity and possessions, for I have endeavoured to remove all the weight of the War out of Italy and throw it upon the Barbari­ans; let them fight as long as they please, we will look on, and per­haps enjoy the fruits of their madness. St. Pet. Is this what be­comes the Pastor, and Holy Father, and Vicar of Christ. Jul. Why do they raise Schisms? St. Pet. But distempers are sometimes to be born with when there is more evil in the cure then disease; and then had you admitted a Council, there had been no occasion of Sehism. Jul. Soft and fair. I had rather six thousand Wars then one Council; what if they should remove me from the Papacy? what if they should rip up my whole life, and lay it open to the vulgar? St. Pet. Yet wert thou a true Bishop, thou wouldst rather be content to relinquish this Honour, then defend thy dignity with so much mischief to the Christian World; but thus it will be, when the Bishoprick is committed to one unworthy that Dignity, and not indeed committed but bought or stole, whereupon it comes in my mind, that thou by divine approbation didst become a plague to the French, who first made thee a plague to the Church. Jul. By my triple Crown and my most renowned Triumphs, I swear that if thou movest my auger thou shalt feel too the power of Julius. St. Pet. Oh madman! But to go on, hitherto I have heard nothing but of a great Captain, not of an Ecclesiastick; of a Worldly man, and not of a Worldly man only, but of a Heathen, even the most wicked of Heathens. Thy greatest boasts are, that thou canst break Leagues and Truces, inflame men to War, and excite them to Slaughters; this is the power of Satan, not of a Bishop. He that makes himself [Page 40]the Vicar of Christ, ought as near as he can to follow his Example; there is in him height of power but joyn'd with height of gooduess: there is in him the highest wisdom, but most pure and simple. In thee I see the image of power link'd with a depth of malice and height of folly; so that if the Prince of the wicked, the Devil, would surrogate his Vicar, whom could he better pitch upon then one like thee? Tell me what didst thou ever do like an Apostolical man? Jul. What can be more Apostolical then to augment the Church of Christ. St. Pet. But if the [...]hurch are the Christian-People compacted together by the Spirit of Christ, thou seem'st to me to be the subverter of this Church, whilst thou thus provokest the World to horrid War, that only thou mayst go unpunished in thy wickedness. Jul. We call the Church the Holy Houses, the Priests, and especially the Court of Rome: my self in the first place who am head of the Church. St. Pet. But Christ made us Mini­sters and himself the Head, unless a second Head be since grown; but with what, pray, is the Church increased? Jul. Now you come to the matter, that Church formerly hunger-starv'd and poor, now flourishes with all Ornaments. St. Pet. With what? with fervency of Faith? Jul. Thou'rt idle. St. Pet. With contempt of the World? Jul. pray let me tell you it's true ornaments, for these are but words. St. Pet. With what then? Jul. With Re­gal Palaces, with beautiful Horses and mules, with a noble Train and Attendants, with abundant Riches & with honorable Guards. (Gen. With beautiful Whores, with ready and obedient Pandors) Jul. With Gold, Purple, Revenues, so that no King but would seem poor and humble were his compared with the riches and splendor of the Roman Prelates, none so Ambitious but would confess himself out-done, none so magnificent and stately but would condemn his frugality, none so stored with Money, nor no Ʋsurer, but would envy our Riches; these are the Ornaments which I have both pre­served and increased. St. Pet. But tell me who first of all loaded and defiled the Church which Christ would have light and pure with such Ornaments as these? Jul. What's that to the purpose? that we are certainly Head, we hold, possess, and enjoy, though they say a certain Constantine conveyed over to Sylvester Pope of Rome all and universal his Imperial Majesty, Trappings, Horses, Cha­riots, Helmets, Belts, Coats of Mail, Sergeants, Swords, golden Crowns, pure Gold, Armies, Warlick Engines, Cities and King­doms. [Page 41]St. Pet. Remain there any Monuments of this Manificence? Jul. Nothing but a By Straw is meant onely a Comment added to the Decrees of Gratia­nus. Straw mixt with the Decrees. St. Pet. Per­haps 'tis a fable. Jul. I think so my self, for who in his right wits would surrender so magnificent an Empire though it were to his Father; but however it ought mightily to be believed, and on all that endeavour to refute it, we impose a deep strict silence. St. Pet. But I hear nothing yet but of the World. Jul. Perhaps thou dreamest still of that same Church in which thou with a few hunger-starved Bishops didst enjoy a cold Popedom, obnoxious to poverty, labours, sweatings, dangers, and a thousand other inconveniencies; Time now has changed all things for the better, and the Pope of Rome is much another thing; For thou wert only chief Bishop in Name and Title: But if now thou shouldst behold so many Holy Houses built with the Riches of Kings, so many thousands of Priests everywhere, and most with large Benefices; So many Bishops equal with Princes in Power and Riches; so many sumptuous Palaces of the Clergy; Espe­cially saw you but at Rome so many searlet Cardinals with whole Legions of hired Servants; so many Kingly Horses, so many Mules adorned with Tissue, Gold, and Gems, and some of them shod with Gold and Silver; Then if you saw the Pope aloft in his Golden Seat carried upon Souldiers shoulders, and at the wag of his hand all People adoring him. If you heard the noise of the Guns, the sound of the Trumpets, the melody of the Flutes, and the flashes of the Fire-works, the Peoples Acclamations and Applauses, and the whole City shining with Torches, whilst Sovereign Princes are scarce admitted to kiss his feet. If you saw that Roman Prelate with his Foot putting the Crown upon the Head of the Roman Emperour, who is King of all Kings (if ancient Records are of any value, or can intitle to any right) though now he gains nothing but the shadow of that mighty Name. These things if thou shouldst see and hear, what wouldst thou then say? St. Pet. That I saw worse then any Heathenish Tyrant, the Enemy of Christ, and Plague of the Church. Jul. Thou wouldst say another thing if thou hadst seen but one of my Triumphs, either that, when I was carried in­to Bononia; or when I entred Rome, having o'recome the Veneti­ans; or when flying from Bononia, I re-entred Rome; or when lastly the French were so beyond all hope Routed at Ravenna; If thou hadst but seen the stately Coursers, the numerous Bands of Souldiers, the delightful spectacles of delicate Boyes, the Torches shining on all sides, the mighty feastival Preparations, the Pomp [Page 42]of Bishops, the Pride of Cardinals, the Trophys and Spoils of War, the rebounding Acclamations of People and Souldiers, the Ap­plauses ecchoing everywhere, the winding of the Cornets, the thundring of the Drums, the lightning of the Guns, the Money thrown among the People; saw you, I say, but all this, and at last Me, the Head and Author of all this Pomp, carried aloft like a Deity, you would say the Triumphs of the Scipio's, Emilius's, and Augu­slus's were frugal in comparison of mine. St. Pet. Hold, hold, enough of Triumphs most glorious Souldier; yet them, though Heathens, do I prefer before thee, whom having for thy Cause slain so many thousand Christians, yet Triumphest like a Holy Father in Christ: Of so many slaughtered Legions thou art the Cause, who never either by Life or Doctrine gainedst one Soul to Christ, O fatherly bowels! O worthy Vicar to that Christ, who died himself to save all, whilst thou to defend one pestilent Head, callest all the World t [...] destruction. Jul. You talk these things because you envy my glory when you think how pitiful and mean your Bishoprick was in comparison of mine. St. Pet. Darest thou, impudent, compare thy Glory with mine? Though my Glory be not mine but Christ's. In the first place, if thou allow'st Christ to be the best and the true Prince of the Church, to me he gave the Keyes of the Kingdom, to me committed the feeding of his Sheep, and my Faith with his own mouth He approved; Thou by Mon [...]y, industry of man, and fraud, wast made Chief Pastor, if such a one may be called a Pastor. I gained so many thousand Souls to Christ; Thou betrayedst as many to perdition: When Rome was yet Gentile I first taught it Christ, thou art become a Master of Christian Heathenism: I even with the shadow of my body healed the Sick, cast out Devils, raised the Dead, and where-ever I came was beneficial to some; What have all thy Triumphs equal to that? with a word of my mouth I could deliver whom I would to Satan, and what my Power reach'd to was experienced in Saphira and her Husband, yet whatever Power I had, I employ'd for the benefit of mankind: Thou useless to all, whatever thou couldst do, nay, and whatever thou couldst not do, thou pervertest to the publick dammage of the whole World. Jul. I wonder in the Catalogue of your Glories, you do not add these too, Poverty, Watchings, Labours, Judgment-Seats, Prisons, Bonds, Scorns, Reproaches, Stripes, and finally the Cross? St. Pet. Thou advisest evil now: for in these I may more justly glory then my Miracles. In these Christ bid us be glad and rejoyce, in these he cal­led [Page 43]us Blessed. So Paul, once my Colleague, when he boasted his great works, mentions not Cities gained by violence, Legions slain with the Sword, Prin­ces of the World provoked to War, nor Tyrannical Pride, but shipwrack, bonds, scourgings, dangers, lyings in wait for his life. This is the true Apo­stolical Triumph, this is the glory of a Christian Captain. He boasts of those he had drawn from sin, not how many millions of Duckets he had horded up. Lastly, we to Eternity triumph with Christ, being praised even by the worst of men; thou art cursed by all, unless those like thee, or some flatterer. Jul. These are things I never heard before. St. Pet. I believe it, for what leasure hadst thou to turn over Evangelical writings to read Paul's or my Epistles, whilst so many Negotiations so many Treaties, so many Leagues, so many Armies, so many Triumphs took up thy whole employment. Other Arts do indeed desire a mind released from sordid cares; but the Discipline of Christ requires a breast wholly purged from all worldly solicitudes, nor did so great a Master descend from Heaven to Earth to teach men an easie or vul­gar Philosophy, 'tis no idle nor secure Profession to be a Christian: To avoid all pleasure like poison, To trample on riches as dirt, To esteem life it self as nothing, this is the Christian-man's Profession; these, because they seem in­tollerable to those who are not actuated with the Spirit of Christ dwindle in­to idle words, and meer ceremonies, and to a fictitious Head of Christ and a fictitious Body. Jul. What remains of good are there then for me, if you take away my Money, if you deprive me of my Kingdoms, rob me of my Revenues, restrain me of my Pleasures, and at last take away my Life? St. Pet. By this thou pronouncest Christ himself unhappy, who being chief of all, was made the scorn of all, in Poverty, Labour, Fastings; and Hunger he led all his life, and at last died the most opprobrious of all deaths. Jul. He may possibly find some to praise him, but none to imitate him at least in these times. St. Pet. Yet that praising is some imitation, though Christ de­prives not his followers of good things; but for false good he replenishes them with true and Eternal good, but he replenishes them not till they have abdicated and renounced all worldly goods; as himself was all heavenly, so he would have his Body, that is the Church, to be most like him, to wit, purg'd from all contagion of the World: for else how can it be the same with him who fits in the Heavens, whilst it is yet drench'd in Earthly dregs? But when it shall have shaken off all the delights of this World, and which is more the affections to them, then Christ opens his treasure, and for forsaken pleasures, which seem'd dipt in Honey, but are indeed seasoned with Aloes, he gives them a taste of heavenly joyes, and for their forsaken treasures far more durable riches. Jul. What I pray? St. Pet. Lest thou shouldst think them vulgar riches, they are the Gift of Prophecy, the Gift of Knowledge, the [Page 44] Gift of Miracles, unless you esteem Christ as vile whom whoever possesses, possesses all things. Finally, lest thou should'st think we here lead a life of Poverty, know that the more any one is afflicted in this World, the more abundantly he is delighted in Christ; the poorer he is in this World, the richer he is in Christ, the lower he is in this World, the higher and more honoured, and the less he lives to this World, the more he lives in Christ; But Christ would have all his to be pure in their whole body, and principally his Mini­sters, that is, free and uncontaminated by the enjoyments of the World. Now I behold the contrary; he who is next to Christ, or at least would have him­self so accounted, is almost drowned with sordid things, Money, Dominion, Riches, Wars, Leagues, and I may well say Vices too; and yet whilst thou art thus an alien to Christ, yet thou coverest thy Pride with his Title, and under a pretence of his Name, who despised an Earthly Kingdom, dost Lord it like a worldly Tyrant; thou blessest others, whilst thou art thy self accursed; and do'st open the Gates of Heaven to others, while thou thy self art quite shut out; Thou Consecratest, and art Execrated; Excommunicatest, and hast nothing to do with Holy things: What difference is there between thee and the great Turk, unless thou pretendest to the Name of Christ? Certainly your minds are the same, the sordidness of your life the same; but thou the greater plague to the World. Jul. But I desired that the Church should be adorned with all good things; and Aristotle, as they say, Constituted three Orders of Goods, of which some are of Fortune, some of the Body, and some of the Mind; therefore because I would not invert the Order of these Goods; I began at those of Fortune, and perhaps by degrees had reach'd to those of the Mind, had I not been snatch'd away by an untimely death. St. Pet. Ʋntimely dost thou call it at seventy years of Age. Jul. But if those conveniencies are wanting, the Vulgar value us not a straw, whom now they both hate and fear; And so the whole Christian Republick would fall to nothing, not being able to defend it self against the force of its Enemies. St. Pet. Rather if the Christian-People beheld in thee the true Gifts of Christ, to wit, Sanctity of Life, Holiness of Doctrine, instant Charity, Pro­phecy, and Virtue, this would raise thee higher with them, and the Christian Commonweal would flourish indeed, when the Gentiles should see and ad­mire their purity of life, contempt of riches, pleasures, Empire and death; now it is not only contracted into a narrow compass, but, if diligent search were made, most are in name only, Christians. Let me beseech you, did you never consider with your self, when you were chief Pastor of the Church, how the Church had its first beginnings, how it increased, and how it was establish­ed? Was it by Wars, or Riches, or Horses; rather by Patience, by Martyrs­blood and Ours, by Prisons and by Stripes. Thou say'st the Church is in­creased [Page 45]when its Ministers are loaden with humane Power; Thou callest it adorned, when it is defiled with the delights and pleasures of the World: Thou say'st it is defended, when for the avarice of Priests the World is tur­moyl'd with cruel Wars; Thou call'st it flourishing, when it is drunk with earthly pleasures; and at quiet, when no body crying out against it; it enjoys its Riches and its Vices; And with these false and covered Titles thou im­posest upon Princes, who taught by thee their Master, call their butcheries and furious conflicts, a defence of Christ. Jul. But I never heard these things before. St. Pet. What then did thy Preachers teach thee? Jul. From them I heard nothing but an excess of Applause, with imbellished words they thundred out my praises, telling me I was a Jove, who with my Thunder shak'd all things, a certain true and visible Divinity, and the pub­lick safety of the World, with many other things of that kind. St. Pet. 'Tis no wonder there was no one to gather thee up when thou wert a salt that had lost its savour. For this is the true excellency of an Apostolical Man to teach Christ to others, and that purely. Jul. Then you wont open. St. Pet. To any one rather then to such a Plague as thou; for with thee we are all Excommunicated: But shall I give you counsel is not ill? you have here a band of strong men, you have a vast Treasure, and are your self a good Engineer; go and build your self some new Paradise, but be sure it be well fortified lest the Devils should storm it. Jul. Yes Sir, I will do something worthy of my self, I will set to work for this six months, and having increased my fires come and drive you hence, unless you come to a submission; for I doubt not in a little time, out of the slaughter of War, to have at least sixty thousand men come to me. There­fore now, Peter, if you be wise, open at this last Summons. St. Pet. In­deed We are much obliged to your Clemency (an Obligation the World ne're knew) that thus you will Lighten before you Thunder, and give warning before you strike; but I would perswade you, if you will hear me, that that Army you threaten us with, you would at what price soever prefer to Hildebrand to be Captain of, that famous Magician Predecessor of yours, for no force but Magick can open these doors to you. Patet atra Janua di­tis; Hell lies before you. Jul. That Hildebrand thou speakst of (what­ever in the rest he were black or white; yet) I'me sure was an Excellent Pope, and deserved highly of the Church of Rome. St. Pet. Yet I ne­ver saw him in Heaven; Is he with thee at the Gate? Jul. I perceive there's no talking with thee, for either thou art not Peter, or knowest not that I am Julius the Second; I, whom thou thus treatest like a thing of nothing, Farewel. But, in a short time, expect my Return with all my Forces. St. Pet. Such our Saviour in the Gospel foretold should be [Page 46]the farewel of the impure Spirit; But hold Julius the Second, before your tumbling headlong into the bottomless Pit whither you are going: An­swer me seriously some things (for hitherto you seem only a drolling Player) did you ever so much as in a dream hope to get into Heaven? Jul. I never had the least manner of doubt of it, for why should I think Heaven should be shut against me who am thy Successor that art the Hea­venly Porter? Is not the Pope of Rome heir apparent to Peter? St. Pet. Not at all: but thou succeedest not Peter; but Simon, not the Apostle; but the Sorcerer. What have I more to do with thee then with Julius Cesar, who was likewise once chief Pontiffe? Jul. All acknowledge me thy Successor, and in what can I succeed thee but thy seat? but what seat is there now left me to derive from thee if thou keepest shut that Gate, un­less thou wilt have Hell, which thou threatnest me with, be the Apostolical Seat. St. Pet. 'Tis enough, 'tis not unworthy to be the Julian and Pseudo-Apostolical: In the mean time thou seemest subtilly to Philoso­phize with me as if not ignorant of Logick. Jul. Thou knowst I am no such Conjurer? St. Pet. Indeed of your Learning, We have already heard more then enough from your own mouth; yet you did not want Letters, when in a certain BULL for Fiat, you subscribed Fiatur? Jul. As if a Pope of Rome were to respect Criticisms of Gram­mar. However this was not subscribed Ex Cathedra, which I am hearti­ly griev'd at, for then none of any Order, State, or Dignity whatsoever, though Kingly, durst in any way correct or contradict it, without being conscious to himself of incurring the indignation of Omnipotent God. St. Pet. You advisedly omitted the indignation likewise of the Apostles St. Peter and St. Paul, which use to be brandished in those forms of wri­ting, for those more then brutish Thunder-bolts, which for your Lust and beastly impulse of Spirit you used to cast abroad, were never taught you by us. But pray (that we may return to the matter) what place didst thou fancy Heaven to be? Or, how do'st imagine to pass thy time there, if thou couldest, which is impossible, reach the Heavenly Quire? Jul. Do'st ask concerning the place? I thought Heaven (as every place above is) pervious to the Pope of Rome, and I would not have thee be sollici­tous about my passing my time there; I never certainly lost, more time then now talking with you: but pray what are the cause of your doubts? St. Pet. Very material ones, for here at least thou wilt langnish in ano­ther Element, not finding one of those things to do in which thou wert conversant on Earth. Jul. How so I pray? St. Pet. Do'st thou yet ask? Here with the Spirtis of the Just made perfect (not Saints of thy Kalendar) a pure conversation is to be entred into, here a holy com­merce [Page 47]is held with the blessed Angels, above all that ineffable Society with God and his Christ is to be sought after; Here those that are purged from all Earthly pleastures come to the enjoyment of true joyes: but those joyes here prepared (and they are the most exquisite imaginable) are fitted and accommodated to those which are endued with true Sancti­ty, not at all for those any way tainted with wickedness, though they may have born the empty Titles of Holiness. Nay, should they be gran­ted to others, that is, to wicked wretches like to thee, their Souls not be­ing capable of entertaining spiritual gladness, even those Heavenly joyes would be turned into worse then hellish torments, when we perceive a si­militude of love and delight, and experience the very bottom of their contraries hate and anguish. In this place are no Common-wealths to be overthrown, no Kings and Princes to be trampled under feet, no Hosts of Enemies to be destroyed, no splendid Triumphs to be deck'd with spoils, no faithful Confessors of Christ (the dear Children of God) under pre­tence of Heresie to be persecuted with stripes, torments, and death; no Throne is here erected for the Pope of Rome to sit on; nor no Purple Car­dinals on all sides to encompass him; no Canonists, who made and wor­shipped thee as their Lord God in Heaven, though thou wert a Devil in­carnate, and required others to give thee no less then Divine Worship; no Papal Exchequers, whither the ill-got Riches of the Church miser­ably flow; no Stage-Playes, no Theaters, no Pompous Spectacles, no Gluttony, nor Drunkenness, no Harlotry, Sodomy, nor Rioting, no actor nor no procurer of Lust; Finally, none of these obscene pleasures in which thou, like a Swine, which art nothing but mire & dirt, didst wallow, and in which thou knowst most of those who would call themselves Bi­shops of the Catholick Church are besmeared. Gen. If it be so, in my mind its best be gone quickly, for thou knowst thou do'st not delight in those other things which thou hast not been accustomed to. St. Pet. Peace Genius, 'tis not yet your turn to speak. (Gen. by and by it will) St. Pet. But did not the Holy Scriptures foretel thee all this? Jul. What Holy Scriptures do you talk of? St. Pet. The Canonical. Jul. I sup­pose you mean the Decrees and Decretals. St. Pet.: Away Trifler, that written one dictated by the Holy Spirit. Jul. O! that they call the Bible, (for I never knew the face of it) certainly out of hate to me you will by and by turn Heretick, for so the leonists love to talk, and so now a­days do all who are no good Catholicks; I could never endure those Bible­readers, as prejudicial both to the advantage (which I wonder Peter should be ignorant of) and Dignity of the Episcopal See; but how long will you suffer me here to catch cold in my toes, which even Kings have kissed. [Page 48] St. Pet. Do you grow cold? be gone then, not to your Fictitious King­doms and painted Fires of Purgatory, whence by I kno [...] not what fulness of feigned Power thou cheatedst other into a belief of fre [...]ing them, and art now thy self deceived with vain hopes; but to the true and Eternal Fire prepared for thee by the Devil and his Angels, there thou wilt be warm enough. Gen. 'Tis decreed thou seest, why do we lose any more time, for my great Emperour the Prince of Darkness beckens me with his staff. Now 'tis my turn both to speak and do. Jul. Wicked, Treacherous Genins whither do you betray Julius? Might I but return to Rome, (nay, only to the Porphyr Seat) how would I damn thee with Curses (in despight of Peter) under the Fisherman's Ring; I would (dictum factum) stir up all Catholick Princes against thee. Gen. 'Tis well in this mad-humour you han't your Sword; this is the first time 'twas ever wanting. Jul. Julius is assaulted, Pope Julius the Second, a hundred thousand years of Plenary Apostolick Indulgence to all and singular that — Gen. Go wretch, now you rave, promising to deliver others from the feigned tor­tures of Purgatory, for your own Redemption; but d'ee see that black Crew coming hither? Jul. Devils without doubt, Help, help, Oh help. Gen. Here Devils, here take your own, Pope Julius the Second.