I shall speake nothing but what God hath done in me, and for me.

THe first worke that God ever wrought in my soule was a worke of conviction. He convinced [Page 15] my soul of the sin of Sabboth-brea­king. I found much opposition to that worke, and it was some space of time before I could get strength against that sinne: but e­ver and anon I was given up to the sinne againe, which was (yet) a burthen to my soule. I had no Observe Gods first worke in conversi­on. strength against it for the present, till at length the Lord was pleased to discover another strength than that I had from my selfe, which was the strength of Iesus Christ, to overcome this corruption. A sight Convicti­on. of sinne without a sight of Christ Note. is not saving of it self. But a sight of sin wrought by God, God lea­ving not the worke till hee hath shewne the soule the sight of Christ. That I conceive is a sa­ving work.

One time me thought my fan­cy in the night presented to me sinne in a lump, with a sight of [Page 16] that Christ which afterwards I saw more perfectly. It was thus: me Convicti­on. thought I saw sin set out in a market upon a stall. The commodity was vended to none but it brought shame and confusion of face to those that set it forth to Sale; and me thought I saw likewise Christ comming, & owning the owner of the commo­dity, which in time I saw he fully did in me; and it was a refreshing for the present to my spirit that I saw he would do it for me, though he came not presently.

The next thing I apprehended according to the truth of the word was, that A Christ was come, to doe such things as are declared in the word. This I no sooner apprehen­ded, Illumina­tion. but I was set upon with temp­tations; To question whether there was a Christ or no, &c. Satan wrought Secretly and Subtilly. I be­ing ignorant of his mysteries, was [Page 17] for a certaine time given up to Sathans subtilty. the temptation. But as Satan wrought secretly and subtilly, so God wrought invisibly and migh­tily, to the suppressing of him. For assoon as God delivered me out of the temptation, I discovered a Christ, fully according as he is revealed in the word to be the Christ, the son of God, my Sa­viour; then I could see my great deliverance out of the temptation, and not till then, then I saw that if God had deliverd me finally up to the temptation, I had denyed God, and his Christ, and his word, and whatsoever he is neces­sary to be known by.

The next thing after I appre­hended a Christ come, was how he should be made knowne to his people to be their Iesus, which in time by the ministry of the word God was pleased to make [Page 18] known unto me, viz. that God gave Christ, to dwell in the hearts of his people, by grace, and then my soule began to be panged with the de­sires of that grace of Regeneration. I no sooner had a desire of grace, but I fell to question the truth of Satans subtilty. Grace, where the Devill was sub­till as in any temptation, but the Lord by his mighty power over­came him for me, where the wise­dome of God appeared to me in Gods goodnesse. Note, wher it was she met with God. the time as well as in the strait. I attended much upon hearing the word, by which God answered all my doubts, and repelled Sa­tans temptations: Then Satan tempted me to doubt of the truth of Gods word. I said Blessed be God! if that word be truth; and no soo­ner was I from under the noise of the preacher, but I was as full of doubting as before. God took me out of that condition, by put­ting [Page 19] me into another trouble, which was Satans subtilty (by Gods permission) for my good. The Devill implyed Instru­ments to taint my soule with monstrous, and grosse errours. But God of his infinite mercy would not suffer me to speak against the truth (with those Instruments of Satan) though I could not plead for it. The Errours insinuated were these. 1 That there is free will Observe her sancti­fied judg­ment of some of our new Truths. in man to doe good. 2 That there is no Electtion. 3 That none are irrecon­cilably lost. 4 That Christ was not come in the flesh. 5 That most of the Scriptures were to be understood in an allegory. These opinions they were very diligent to draw my soule to; I being weake in my selfe had fallen from the truth had it not beene for the power of God and his rich condescention to me. I told the parties if I did not [Page 20] give them arguments in one week, that then I would not speake a­gainst, but for, that which they held; and then the Lord set me a­bundantly to study the divine Scriptures, which through igno­rance or misunderstanding, I thought some thing in the word was for them, and something against them, while I thought to attaine it only by reading; but when I saw it was too hard, then the Lord was pleased to help mee by me­ditation Observe the right way to pro­fit by read­ing. and prayer, and strong cryes, and then, and not till then, did I know what it was to pray out of an apprehension of wants. I A right frame of spirit in seeking di­rection. tooke the truth, and errour, with an equall hand, neither cleaving in my affections to the one, nor to the other, till God was pleased to reveale it to me; but I desired God to shew me which was the truth, and he did accor­dingly. [Page 21] Those Scriptures I appre­hended made against the truth, he shewed me they made for the truth. Now when the Lord had revealed himselfe in this to me, I was earnest with God that I might not only know these truths, but I might be able to hold out these truths so as to stop the mouths of gainsayers: 2 dayes after Gods revealing himselfe, these parties came, and God gave me to speak that they were not able to answer, and at that time God gave me a promise Joh. 1. 50. Iesus answered Joh. 1. 50. and said unto him, because I said unto thee I saw thee under the figtree, beleevest thou? thou shalt see grea­ter A particu­lar promise applyed generally. things then these; with which my Soule stood a little amazed what should be the greater things that should be revealed? I found then, that they should be these truths made known by experience [Page 22] to my Soule. I went away rejoy­ing in hope to obtaine it; from this work of God I concluded that there was a work of grace be­gun, which he would carry on to perfection. The next thing I thought upon, was to set downe to account the losse it would cost me to hold out these truths to the utmost, which was the losse of the favour of friends, disin­gagment to creatures, but there was an ingagement to God, which made me resolute to stick to the truth, whatsoever it cost, in the strength of God: and then I saw a necessity of walking more close Her Pro­gresse in Piety. with God, in the wayes of his worship, seeking to him for strength, in every estate and condition what ever he put me into; whether spirituall or temporall. When Satan saw that I indeavored to be holy and strict, he set before me a pat­terne [Page 23] of perfection, by his shew­ing of me perfection; I by the strength of Gods grace had such a sight of imperfection, that I was Satans policy. lost in my owne apprehension, and concluded, that there was no grace because there was so much imperfection, and then God was pleased for to make me appre­hend that Jesus Christ must come, and take away the imper­fections of our duties, the defile­ment of sinne as well as the guilt, which he did by revealing those promises which he caused me to rest upon in that 2 Cor. 5. 21. for 2 Cor. 5. 21. he had made him to be sinne for us who knew no sinne, that we might be made the righteousnesse of God in him. Mat. 1. 21. He shall save his Mat. 1. 21. people from their sins, which I be­leeved should be done for the fu­ture, though they were not done for the present; so that I saw [Page 24] Christ to be of use, to clense me, Sanctifica­tion seene before Ju­stification. before I saw him Iustifying my person, which was a great refresh­ment to my Spirit; then I be­gan to make use of those wea­pons that the Apostle speaks of, which are not carnall but mighty through God for the pulling downe strong holds, &c. and the Lord did give me much sweetnesse by communion with himselfe, so that I could goe to him more The spirit of Adopti­on. freely then to any creature under heaven, and the more communi­on I had with him the more strength I had against temptation and corruption: I found it to be The bene­fit of fre­quent prayer. the most excellent means under heaven, the more frequent the more familiar with God; and now I began in some measure to appre­hended what a temptation was, in a time of temptation, which was halfe a deliverance out of it: this [Page 25] through the mercy of God in Christ Jesus I found by experi­ence, in prayer, and about prayer. I found first the subtilty of Satans temptations, wherein I found him Sathans malice a­gainst the worke of prayer. to be as great hinderer of that work of prayer as of any other; if he cannot keep from it, he will afflict and discourage in it; and notwithstanding all this, I was by Satan put upon it to question my Condition againe, but God gave me a word at the same time to stay my Soule upon, it was Gods token to know Paul by, behold he prayes, from which words I saw God took special no­tice of those that praid and waited upon him; and when the Devill saw me bent upon prayer, then he put me upon prayer, which in time I saw was his work, and in time it proved greatly to the Devils disadvantage, and much for [Page 26] my incouragement. I found by experience that he is like an Ape imitating what ever good God does in the Soule: and there is need of much of God to discern his policy in this particular; he hath counterfeit grace as well as God hath true grace; and he hath evill Ioy, as God hath Soule-refreshing, reviving and sweet consolation, he will have scriptures as well as God, only his are to discourage from du­ties, and Gods to incourage; all the wayes of Satan are evill, and all the Note. wayes of God are exceeding good, and his paths are very pleasant. When Satan saw he could not defile my soule by one temptation, he sets up­on me by another, and with mani­fold temptations all at once. So that he put my Soule into a darke mist by his temptations, and I walked sadly for some Dayes to­gether, to the wonderment of [Page 27] my friends that were about me. I could not expresse my selfe in any thing because my temptations and tumults in my spirit were so high in many things, but the Lord at that time did much stay and refresh my spirit with the word Isay. 50. 10. whereby Isa. 50. 10. I saw that my condition at that time was no other, then was incident to Gods owne peo­ple, and so the Lord carried me on from one condition to ano­ther in straights, and revealed no more to me for the present then this, that my condition was such as was incident to the Saints. The next thing I saw was that Ie­sus More Illu­mination. Christ was the Iustifier of his peo­ple, and that Iustification was con­veyed to the soule in a way of be­leeving: and then my Soule said, oh! that I could beleeve on him that Iustifies the ungodly. The [Page 28] more understanding I had of God in that way, the more I saw of mine owne filthinesse: I saw filthi­nesse in the holy things of God, as performed by me, so that I found that word of the Apostle good That in me (that is in my flesh) dwells no good thing, but to will is (by the Rom. 7. grace of God) present with me, but how to doe good I found not; which (through the grace of God) wrought in my Soule a restlesse desire after a Christ in a way of beleeving, that so I might fetch strength from Christ, for the sub­duing of every corruption, that I might know whether I were in a state of Iustification; this I found, that the more Satan temp­ted me, that his temptations were as a weapon put into my hand to fight against himselfe withall; through the mighty o­peration of God, his strength was [Page 29] made knowne in my weaknesse. Still Faith hard. God put into my Soule such a restlesse disposition that I could not be satisfied without Christ, so that I said within my selfe, give me a Christ or I dy: and the disposition to beleeving I found very difficult and hard, when God set me upon it; a work too hard for me, without the pow­er of an Omnipotent God; which The way of obtain­ing it. made me the more eagarly to per­sue it, at the hands of him who was able to give it; God (when his set time was come) wrought every disposition in me sutable to the grace that hee was about to convey to my Soule; and then I saw nothing in any thing either in heaven or earth that could doe me good but the revealing Iesus Christ to my Soule. Duties would not justify, no; inherent grace was no Iustification in it [Page 30] selfe, though a fruit of Iustification yet no cause of it. Iesus Christ was the all in all both for Sanctification 2 Cor. 3. last. and Iustification; and there I saw a way to make use of Christ by way of Iustification; I saw more fully then before that all my righ­teousnesse was imperfect, but in Christ it was compleate: when the love of God was thus dis­covered to my Soule, then it did constraine me to work out of a higher principle then before; I thought with my selfe, were there no hell to punish, nor Heaven to reward, yet there was comfort enough in God, and in the refresh­ments A Gospell-spirit. of his spirit to carry me on in a way of obedience to his gracious, and holy Law and Commands; and then though I had matter e­nough within my selfe, to con­demne my self by reason that grace which in me was weak, my flesh [Page 31] being full of all imperfections, yet I knew all was made up in Christs perfection. I made use of the Law for a rule to walk by, not expect­ing Her opini­on of the Law, and of those that reject it. to fullfill it; So that the law must have Dominion over a man (for a rule) as long as he liveth: who so casts the Law of God be­hind his back, surely hath not partaken so far as I can conjecture of the saving grace of God; and this I saw, that Christ came not to destroy the law, but to fullfill it; Christ is the end of the law to every one that beleeveth; we are not to throw it by, as of no use, but in what we fall short, to make use of him, that is of Christ to make it up: the more I made use of the Law, the more I saw that it was holy, just, and good. For wee should not walke as doe others (as men without a rule;) there is infi­nite cause, that we should look [Page 32] to our Lords Commandement, as Christ kept the Commands when hee was upon earth, so doubtlesse he would have his peo­ple keep them; when we have such a blessed Mediator to stand up in the gap if in any thing the Christians engage­ment to keep the Law. law condemns us, he steps in, and undertakes for us, he gave full sa­tisfaction for the condemning po­wer of it; but hath left the practi­cal part of it for us to make use of. I was troubled with in my self, if at any time I thought any thought, A watch­full and zealous frame of Spirit. or did any deed, contrary to the command of God; yea how hath my Soule been grieved because other men kept not the law of God?

I found the actings of God in me and toward me, I prayed in another manner then before, that Her sense of God. when I askt any thing for my selfe or others, agreeable to Gods will, [Page 33] especially in straights, I found a holy boldnesse and confidence that God would answer, and he did answer abundantly beyond what I can expresse, not because of my request, but because Iesus Christ Her experi­ence of Gods hea­ring her prayer, and her right constru­ction and use of it. interceded; he took my broken, and imperfect requests, & shattered expressions, and presented them blamelesse before God; not be­cause I prayed, but because he de­lighted to shew mercy; and so in­gaged and incouraged me to wait upon him, in his service.

My soule can testify, I have had as much from God, in the way of that ordinance, as any: I have been filled as full of conso­lation, by God in that ordinance, A rare ex­perience. as my soule could possibly attaine unto; I never wanted any thing for my selfe, or others, but I went to God for; there was none grea­ter in heaven, or earth, I could [Page 34] resort unto; I find him to be a fountaine never drawne dry; oh! that none would goe to the Ci­sterne when there is so much in the Fountain! To looke at Cisternes The use of Cisternes. as they are in themselves, they are nothing, but they may be made use of to Gods glory; when used by God, and lookt at through God the Fountaine, whatever is done by the creature God doth (but by a secondary meanes;) So that it is in, and from the Lord, that we have all that we injoy; and when God brought me to the bed of affliction, then he was pleased to make a report a new of all that he had done for my soule, which made my heart to burne within me in love to God, and Sweet ap­prehensi­ons. with desire to make known to o­thers how good the Lord was to my soule; all his dealings with mee to soule and body I appre­hend [Page 35] are in much love; so that the place I found experimentally true, Rom. 8. 28. Gods gracious Rom. 8. 28. dispensation in fitting me for af­fliction was exceeding great; so that I may say with Job that no­thing came upon me but the thing I feared. God was pleased to tell mee what he was about to doe, and that in a way of answer to prayer. I could conclude as con­fidently that affliction should come, as if it had been upon me already; and God gave me a strong resolution to abide his plea­sure whatever it was: And af­ter some time of prayer he gave a promise sutable to the condition he was about to bring upon me, the promise was, happy is the man whom thou correctest, &c. And he hath taught me four things neces­sary Four things sutable to an afflicted condition. and sutable to every afflicted condition whatever. The first [Page 36] is to eye the hand of God in the affliction; for the seeing the hand of God made mee silent in his presence, and made me willing to submit to him. The second thing was, that he shewed me his face and presence, which is better than life. Thirdly, He brought off my will to submit to him, as to a fa­ther, from many speciall places of divine writ. Fourthly, He made me more than in an ordinary way to Gods graci­ous dealing with her in relation to Affliction. 4 Ends of Affliction apprehen­ded by her. drawe nigh to God, to know why hee did contend with mee; one end was for sin; sin hath a being, though not a reigning power in me, for which cause I have cause to lay low. A second end was for exercise of faith and patience and other graces. A third end was that I might have liberty to take occasion to make a report to o­thers what God hath done for my soule, that by this meanes, I [Page 37] might bring some honour to God. A fourth end was, that I might be set upon that evangelicall worke of setting forth the high prayses of God; which work though I could do it to the utmost here, yet its no­thing to what shall be in heaven: And therefore I desire to blesse God that there is an eternity to praise him in. In my affliction God hath verified many places of Scriptures which I see to be ex­perimentally true that I did not see before; so that I am constrained to say oft, and againe, What am I? and what is my fathers house? that the Lord should bring me hi­therto? and with David, Lord what is man that thou art mindfull of him, or the sonne of man that thou shouldest visit him. Another Mercy in judgment. thing I have observed in my af­fliction, that God hath wonder­fully chayned up Satan in this af­fliction. He was never let loose up­on [Page 38] me but twice in all my afflicti­on: he came forth often like a li­on, but in a chaine, roaring for his prey; but God stopt his mouth, that he could get no do­minion over me. Those two times he was let loose, The first time was about my spirituall con­dition: he would have troubled me with three things, as he did Christ by queries; First how I knew that I was a child of God, And secondly how I could make out my interest in Christ, whether it it was fancy or delusion or whether reall: Next thirdly he would have Her strēgth against Sa­than. perswaded me that I laye under the guilt of some sinne, that was not pardoned; my answer was to the first, I knew I was a child of God, by his Word & Works God made it out to me: to the second I answered, that God had assured me of an interest in Christ, by a pro­mise of the spirit, bearing witnesse [Page 39] with abundance of of consolation that I was his spouse: thy maker is thine husband &c. To the third I an­swered, God pardoned all sinnes in respect of himselfe at once. I only did lye under the guilt of some sins, but God came in abundant­ly with a promise that God ac­quitted me from all. And so Satans objection was fully an­swered; and I abundandly deli­vered. Another temptation was about the time of Gods taking a­way my neare relation which was a sister of mine, he took an ad­vantage by the weaknesse of my body oftentimes to trouble me with many thoughts of her death, and the manner of it, (both sleep­ing and waking) and I was in some question about her eternall condition: at first I thought it was rather some peece of Nature than any temptation; but as soone [Page 40] as I saw it was a temptation, I set my selfe to seek God against it; And I had this answer from God, after a few thoughts, in seeking, that the Lord would rebuke the devou­rer for my bodies sake; and from this scripture that the God of Satan would bruise Satan under my feet shortly: and for my sisters condi­tion, and the manner of her death, God gave this word, Is thy eye evill because mine is good? shall I not doe with mine owne what I will; aye (said my soul) if she were his, I could be the better perswaded to give her up to God; then God told me, he lookt not as man lookt; but if there were any work of God he would owne his owne work, but however he caused me to leave her Her stoop­ing to Gods soveraignty to his prerogative royall who judg­eth righteous Iudgement.

I saw a necessity of frequenting the best meanes: once in speci­all [Page 41] I saw abundance from God, to Her care to honour her Parents in what she might, with security to her consci­ence. incourage me in that way: my Fa­ther and Mother commanded me to goe one way to hear, and I was put upon it, to goe another way, for which they were very fierce and violent, the Lord was plea­sed to put me upon it, to inquire what I should doe in this parti­cular, and while I was thinking, the fifth commandement came into my thoughts, honour your Fa­ther and Mother, &c. Then I began to Thinke what honour was due to them, being desirous to give them that honour that I was com­manded; if they commanded with God, I was ready and willing to obey them, with cherefulnesse: but seeing they commanded con­trary to God, I saw the command of God greater than their com­mand: and I went to the word, and God met me there, in such a [Page 42] way that he gave me incouragement to goe through opposition and di­fficulty in time to come, whatever I should meet withall (though they were stripes) I was willing to give my back to the smiters, ra­ther than to give up my conscience to be racked; the opposition of the creature is not much when Gods makes it easy. This & other experiences I have had of Gods power and goodnesse, in a way Her reso­lutenesse for God. where I met with opposition: So that its good to be resolute for God; though you may lose some fa­vour with the creature, yet yee shall be double gayners if you may injoy the favour of God: the light of his countenance is bet­ter than life. The next thing I saw was, that there was a faith which was according to sight, like that of Thomas, He beleeved be­cause he saw: and another faith [Page 43] beyond sight, which was to be­leeve upon the sight of the ac­tings of grace plentifully upon my soule. When God withdrew the sence of his love, so that I did not injoy the dayly in­comes of Gods love, I was con­strained to live upon the immuta­bility Strong Faith. and unchangablenesse of God. Notwitwstanding the great mer­cy and favour of God formerly convayed, I was constrained with David to cry out, Restore A deserti­on. to me the joy of thy salvation; and then I apprehended that Christ was absent, at which time I lived solitary, and in the Darke. I lookt Her carri­age in it. upon Christ as a husband, but yet as a husband going a Journey, and hid behind a curtaine, so that my soule was as the spouse restlesse in looking out to inquire after him: but in time he sent many love letters to me which were these,

To you that feare my name, shall the Sunne of righteousnesse arise with healing in his wings: Though I did not feare him perfectly and as I ought, yet I had some desires to serve him in truth. And another was, Hee that shall come, will come, and will not stay; yet some­time by reason of his absence I wondred what my temper was, and said, what is God about to teach me? oh that I knew his mind! and I would doe it; oh that I knew what my present con­dition were! and in time God graciously came in with this scripture, and perswaded me with Gal. 2. 20. Paul, that the life I now lived was by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himselfe 2 Cor. 13. for me. And that his grace was suf­ficient Her reco­very out of her deser­tion. for me: and at last I saw him (behind the curtaines) I saw him [Page 45] but could not injoy him: at last I found him whom my soule loved.

God hath not set me a presi­dent, in respect of my bodily affliction, but he hath caused me not to repine against him, if he make me a president to others; so I may be serviceable and be made instrumentall for the good of any poore soule, my soule is satisfied, Her sweet Gospell-spirit in her sad Affli­ction. and I am abundantly willing to submit, so God may be glorified, and any poore soule edified: it is satisfaction enough to me, so I may be an instrument in Gods hand for any spirituall good. The paths of God are pleasant paths, I could wish it were more and more my meat and drink to doe the will of my father. I feare more that too much impatience should break forth for an earnest desire for heaven, than any thing: [Page 46] for I found some deceit in my heart, in that particular, break out once, And I have cause to feare there is more of the fire, if the Lord doe not quench it. I be­ing once in my owne apprehen­sion, and in the sight of many beholders at the point of death, not expecting to live many dayes, I apprehended God sen­ding Her impa­tience of staying here. forth two messengers, the one was the grim serjeant Death with a commission from God to arest the body: I apprehended that the rest of the body should but set the soule at liberty. The o­ther messenger sent from God was the Angell of God with a commission from God to carry the soule to the place of Iust men made perfect, so that I was perswa­ded to bid adue to all creature-in­gagements, onely I was to work while it was called to day, the [Page 47] works of God, for the night was at hand when I should no more work with the Saints on earth. It was such a refreshment to my soule, that my time was at hand, that I was glad to be uncloathed that I might be cloathed upon. So that I could say, oh death where is thy sting? oh hell where is thy vi­ctory.

I was taken up much 2 or 3 Her care to dye to the Lord. dayes in the work of exhortation of friends that came to visit me; then the Lord sent a messenger of his who made a new report again of my Fathers house, which was much illustrated to me by an instru­ment of his. I could not but ex­presse to them who came to visit me what great things were to be injoyed in my fathers house, & said, oh! that they might come to me: and to the Instrument I said; if God had sent him to make a re­port [Page 48] of these things to my eares, I bid him speake on: for I was willing to heare what God would speake to me by him. I was much conversant in the meditation of these things for twenty four houres or there about: but be­fore I was out of heaven in my thoughts, I felt a thorue in my flesh, Satan buffeting of me, arguing thus against Gods proceedings, by reason of the dispensation of God changing my bodily condi­tion, promising me some con­tinuance in the Land of the living for a season: here I found the re­bellion of the flesh with the op­position of Satan to quarell a­gainst God, being unwilling to abide in the flesh, notwithstanding God saw it was better for me to be in the body for a time. I desire what­ever A sweet frame of spirit. seem good to God may not seeme grievous to me. I had no [Page 45] quiet nor rest in my soul till I saw this distemper (my unwillingnes to submit to the wil of God) wrought out, and for that the Lord made me to seeke him earnestly, and he was found in the day of my affliction; I said within my self, what good would my life doe me; if God did not take away the evill of sin? my affliction was nothing, but my sin was my af­fliction; and the Lord harkned and heard, and took away my sin, & then I found my affliction nothing; though greater than formerly, yet Affliction easie. as easie as ever: then the Lord put me upon it to consider, why he de­laid his coming, in that way wher­in I apprehended he was about to Come, & I apprehended these to be the ends. First, To let me see the evill Her holy interpreta­tion of Gods dea­lings to­wards her. of my heart, what I was in my selfe, refractory & rebellious; & another end was, that I might see the worke of Gods grace in the hearts of some, [Page 46] and be instrumentall to doe some thing for their good (if God plea­sed to incline me) for the helping forward of that work of his: for I apprehend I shall work no more for the Saints after this life; though Iesus Christ worke for the Saints in Heaven, as well as when he was on earth, yet the Saints work for the Saints only in this life. The other end was (as I apprehend) that I might live to take care for a Child; and to engage some honest man to take him; which is partly effected. Another end (I appre­hend) was that I might take no­tice of the answer of the prayers of others.

Againe, having been taken up in my thoughts more than ordi­nary in and about the differences of the times among the Saints, in these late yeares, in, and about [Page 47] some Circumstances about Re­ligion, as I apprehend; and I Her opini­on concer­ning the differences of the pre­sent time. was perswaded that the circum­stance was nothing, in compa­rison of the substance: some said this was the way, and some said that was the way: some were for a separated Church, others for a mixt Church. First this I was perswaded, that Iesus Christ was the only way to salvation, by a worke of grace in the hearts of his people. But I apprehending that the so­ciety of Gods people was very use­full, and that those of the Indepen­dent society, as they are called, did make an improvement of the society of the Saints, more than those that were out of that way did for the present; It made me to have some inclination to that way, and thereupon to apply my selfe to God for his direction in it what to doe; then I saw that [Page 48] the Independent society went into their way in and by a covenant, which I could not see any ground for: whereupon I desired their grounds, but found little or no satisfaction. Their scriptures were Exod. 19. 6. Ezek. 16. 6, 7, 8. Jer. 50. 5. Acts 5. 13. Eph. 4. 3. Be Exod. 19. 6. Ezek. 16. 6, 7, 8. Jer. 50. 5. Acts 5. 13. Epes. 4. 3. knit together in love, which say they, implies a covenant: but I could not see by their light, but did apprehend that that scripture was directed to the Saints in ge­nerall, and not to Congregations in particular: then they said they prest not their covenant as abso­lutely Her opini­on concer­ning en­tring into Church-fellowship by a Cove­nant. necessary, but left it as a vo­luntary act; then I began to think whether a voluntary vow were lawfull to be taken in matters of Religion, which I find lawfull in scripture; as David did vow a­gainst his sin; and its put upon record in scripture, that if we vow [Page 49] to God we must not deferr to pay it: then I began to think that the so­ciety of Gods people was vsefull; and if it could not be injoyed Note. without covenanting, its just with God to give us up to covenanting for the hardnesse of our hearts, who would not willingly do it without this. And I conceive that David could not come up to duty as he would till he came to covenanting; but I began to think wheher this covenant so much prest was my duty, viz. to joyne in a way of Co­venant for the injoyment of the so­ciety of the Saints; and after seek­ing of God, he gave me this place. If thou doest not vow thou doest not Her deter­mination upon it. sin; and it satisfied me that I might injoy the society with the Saints out of the way, and there­fore saw no necessity of ingaging my selfe in the way.

And he also gave me these pla­ces to satisfie me further, be ye followers of me as I am of Christ, That is, in this, that I desire to know nothing but Iesus Christ, and him crucified, and this Scripture, this is eternall life, to know God, and Iesus Christ, whom thou hast sent, and this of the Apostle, Bre­thren have fellowship with us, for truly we have fellowship with the Father and the Son the Lord Iesus Christ. Then I could not but break forth into blessing of God, that I have had much fellowship with the sonne the Lord Iesus, and as much as God hath seene good for me with the Saints: so that I have cause to blesse God, and to trust in God who hath given me society with the Saints, out of the way, as much as in the way: so that that which God gives is [Page 51] not in reference to the way; but to his owne love: I see nothing in the way, but what hath been injoyed out of the way: and therefore not to be so much lif­ted up, as it hath been and is by some.

I pray God that while others ingage themselves by covenant, to watch over so many soules in a congregation (which is a great work) they be not to negli­gent in watching over themselves.

First of the first. 1. That the true beleever in his life is the Lords. I shal open it, and shew you in what respects, and prove the particu­lars as I passe them by, shortly. I shall open it but in three particu­lars, 1. He is the Lords by purchase. 2. He is the Lords by Possession. 3. He is the Lords by neare Relation.

First of all, He is the Lords The Lords Purchase. by purchase, and a deare purchase; he hath purchased them with his owne blood. Acts 20. 28. The mo­ther that hath had a painefull travell sayes to the child, A [Page 14] deare child thou hast been to me, and Zipporah to Moses, surely a bloody husband hast thou been to me. God may say, Bellevers! Children! you have been deare Children, bloody children unto me, you have cost me my owne heart blood, a great ransome! They are called the Purchased possession. Eph. 1. 14. And a dear purchase too that cost the owners heart blood. Christi­ans, speak truth, doe you not think you cost Christ more then ye are worth, bodyes and scules, and all? It is true to purpose too that the Apostle sayes. 1 Cor. 6. 20. For ye are bought with a price, therefore, &c. a price indeed yet nei­ther silver nor gold (of that Christ had none,) but what he had he gave you, and gave for you, even his own life for a ransome for the sins of many; never was there so deare a bargaine, and yet never fewer [Page 15] words spent about one. He bought them of the Father. Joh. 10. 29. and Joh. 17. Indeed there it is cal­led giving, but he gave his blood for them: and yet there was an act of grace in the Father giving the Elect to Christ. It is true, you may say, that they were the Devills Captives. Eph. 2. v. 2, 3. But I answer, that the Devill was but Gods jayler, hee keeps them by nature in a Captivity, but it is for a debt due to the Fathers justice. Now God gave them to Christ paying such a price. One would wonder to think, he should med­dle with so hard, and unprofitable a bargaine, but yet he did, and with such alacrity that there was scarce too words betwixt his Father and him about it. The Father writ downe in his book, If you will have them thats the price, you shall goe, and doe my will (which is ta­king [Page 16] upon you their nature) Suffering, Dying, &c. Christ presently sub­scribed Done: and by such a day it shall be all paid, Psal. 40. v. 7. Heb. 10. 8. In the Volume of thy book it is written of me. Lo! I come to doe thy will, O God! There shall no more words be made of it (saith Christ) I will doe it: Thus there was a Covenant stroke, betwixt the Father and the Son for The purchased possession. Thus they are the Lords by Purchase. Pretium Sanguinis, the price of his owne deare heart blood.

They are the Lords Possession: 1 Pet. 5. 3. Eph. 2. 22. Tit. 2. 14. 1 Cor. 3. 17. They are his owne, he calls them his heritage, his habitation, his pe­culiar people, The sheep of his pasture, The sheep of his flock, The temple of God. His title to them I cleared before, but not altogether. All title you know is either, 1. By inheritance, or 2. By purchase, [Page 17] or 3. By gift. God hath every of these wayes a title to belevers. 1. By purchase. So I have already cleared Christs title to beleevers: I shewed you, 1. Of whom he bought this possession. 2. Out of whose hands. 3. What he paid for it. But you know if a man con­tract with another for a house or ground, and after such a contract pay the price for which he con­tracts with him that hath the sale in his power: yet after all this he must have possession given him, and then it is fully and most properly called his own. Beleevers are the Lord Christs thus; he hath not on­ly contracted for them, and paid his full price, but he hath also taken li­very, and seisiu of them. Joh. 10. 29. The father hath given them to him: and Joh. 17. Of all that thou hast given me I have lost none. And now they are his inheritance, [Page 18] he hath the fee simple of all his E­lect ones, and by his 1. Assuming their flesh hath taken livery, and seisin of their natures. 2. Mysti­cally Vniting himselfe unto them, he hath brought himselfe and his furniture for his house, all the graces of his holy spirit, to dwell in them; nay they are his peculiar Mansion in whom he delights to dwell: you have I knowne (saith he) above all the Nations of the Earth: Amos 3. 2. though all the world be mine, and I can pitch my tent any where, and dwell in my owne too, yet you only I have knowne; you are the Mansion-house which I set a­part for my glory; where I will come and keep house my selfe in person. They are the Lords pos­session: thats the second.

3. They are the Lords by neare Relation. Neare relations are or­dinarily by way of appropriation [Page 19] called ours; wives, and children, and servants; we say of such a woman, or child, or servant, she is such a mans wife, or it is such a mans child, or they are such a ones servants: thus are beleevers to be appropriated to God. You may say concerning a beleever, There goes the child of God. Gal. 3. 7. There goes the heire of Je­sus Christ. Rom. 8. 17. Children not begotten according to the flesh, but of the immortall, incor­ruptible seed of the word. 1 Pet. 1. 23. You may say of them, 2. There goes the Lambs wife, the wife of the Prince of glory, the Kings daughter. Eph. 5. 29, 30, 31, 32. Hosea 2. 18. You may say of them, 3. There goes one of Gods servants. 1 Cor. 7. 22. A­braham was stiled by Melchise­dech, the servant of the most high God. Paul often stiles himselfe [Page 20] the servant of Iesus Christ. Nay 4. They stand in the relation of members, to Jesus Christ the head. 1 Cor. 6. 16. This is by reason of the neare mysticall unspeakable Vnion that is betwixt the Lord Jesus Christ and the soule. Joh. 15. 3. I in you, and you in me. We are flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone, Eph. 5. 29. 30. &c. [...]. So then? can you say of your wife, she is mine? canst thou say of thy child, it is mine? canst thou say of any servant that thou keepest, he or she is mine? Nay nearer yet: canst thou say of thy right hand, or foot, or any member of thy body, it is mine? So is the be­leever Christs: Christs purchase, possession, Servant, wife, child, bro­ther, member, &c. Beleevers then while they live are the Lords. Thats the first branch, and that is plain. Proceed we now to the second, and that is,

2. Branch. That because of it, it is his duty while he lives not to live to himselfe but to the Lord.

In the opening and handling of this, I will doe these three things.

• 1. I wil shew you, how a man may be said to live to himselfe, and what that meanes.
• 2. I will shew you, how it is the beleevers duty to live unto God, and what that meanes.
• 3. I will shew you, how the consideration of this that a be­leever while he lives is the Lords, layeth an engagement upon his heart, while he lives, not to live to himselfe but to the Lord.

Of all these briefly, and first of the first.

The third Branch, That when the beleever dies he dies not to himselfe but un­to the Lord, and it is his duty so to doe.

Here for the explanation of this Branch I shall do these two things.

First, I shall shew how a man may be said to die to himselfe, which the beleever doth not.

Secondly, I shall shew you what it is to die to the Lord, and how a beleever may be said when he dies to die to the Lord.

Fourth Branch, Beleevers in death are the Lords.

Shortly of it.

1. The Lord owns them in Death, Psa. 73. 26. Though my flesh faileth, and my heart faileth, yet God is the strength of my heart; and my por­tion [Page 44] for ever. He ownes them in dying, he takes notice of their composing themselves to sleep, and hath newes brought him to heaven of every Saints sickening and dying, he hearkeneth and heareth their death sighes, and grownes, yea and after death more then ever; then the soul is returned to God, and imbosomed in him, and mortality is swallowed up of life, 1 Cor. 5. 6.

2. They are the Lords then by Vnion; the head, and the mem­bers will be then as much one, yea more one then ever they were, they that were one in Grace, are made one in glory; as the scatte­red Sun beames when they are ga­thered into the Sun, are more glo­riously one with the Sun, then when there was a seeming division of their vnity for the irradiation of the earth, so all the Saints which are [Page 45] but as distinct beames of the Sun of Righteousnesse, when they shall be gathered into Christ, shall yet continue to be one with him, yea and more gloriously one then ever. The Bride is now made ready for the Lambe, and the private marriage day is come. The Bride of the Lambe is here but in her mourning gowne, yet Christ (who is a pure essence of infinite love) delights in her in that dresse, and even in that habit will not live from her; when she dyes to the world, she hath drest her head, and then is more lovely in his Eye, but by that time the day of judgment comes, she wil be wholy, and com­pleatly drest to come out to Din­ner, and everlasting banquetting in the chambers of love, with the King of Glory.

Lastly, When he dyes he is the Lords by neare Relation; this is an [Page 46] undoubted consequence of the o­ther, but yet a little more; Death breaks all Relations, but the Relation that is betwixt God & the beleeving soule, and its knife is not sharp enough to cut this asunder; see this but in two instances, 1 Josh. 2. God sayes, Moses my servant is dead. Dead; yet my servant: we cannot say, such a one my servant is dead, or if we doe say so, it is but an improper phrase of speach; for if he be dead he is not my ser­vant; he does me no worke, he takes none of my wages: We can say, such a one, that was my servant is dead, but if the person be dead, the cord of our Relation is bro­ken. Job speaking of death, Job. 3. sayes, There the servant is free from his Master: But God sayes, Moses my servant is dead, though he be dead, yet he is my servant. And we may say concerning any [Page 47] holy man, or woman, concerning this remarkable Saint, such a one Gods deare Servant is dead: Dead, yet Gods servant; she hath chang­ed her room, and work, yea and her wages too, but not her Master, she is but taken to be his chambermaid in glory, from being his Kitchin-maid in the world; her work was before below staires, now it is a­bove. Take but one instance more, it is, Joh. 11. 11. Christ sayes, Our friend Lazarus sleeps, he sleeps, yet he is Our friend. O sweet! we say when such a one dyes we have lost a deare friend. But God loseth not his relation by his Saints death, he is our friend then more than e­ver, and so are we his. And thus I have gone through the severall branches of the Doctrine.

And now what a sweet doctrine were here for application, if I had any time, but I must but [Page 48] hint at things, and lay the letters, and leave them to God to stampe upon your hearts.

I will apply it, or rather shew you how you may apply it, by way of Instruction, Reprehensi­on, Exhortation, and consola­tion.

First of all by way of Instructi­on, Use. 1 and so it might be very profita­ble, 1. To shew you the infi­nite love of God, to poor dust, and ashes. That he will be pleased to owne us in life, and death; to come, and dwell in houses made of clay, nay not in all the houses of clay neither; some he will not bestow the paines to make them cleane, and tenantable for himselfe; some great famous built houses, built of free stoned Nobility & Gen­try, learning and honour, adorned with parts and esteem in the world, he leaves to be an habitation for [Page 49] Owles, and Ostriches, and comes and dwels in the poor Cottages of his Elect ones. The poore of this world hath God chosen. God loves the house well in which he will dwell; you only have I knowne above all the Nations of the Earth, &c. O mer­cy! that God should say to one, that it may be hath not a rag to cover him with, nor a place where to lay downe his head, Here is the soule in which I have chose to dwell, to pitch my name there; who are we that Our Lord should come to us? we have not a room either in head or heart fit for to entertaine him. If he will come he must bring his stoole to sit down on, and be wel­comed with his own meat, and yet he will come and be a father, an hus­band, a friend, and call us his ser­vants, his children, his spouse, yea his members. Think, O think what honour it is to be allied to [Page 50] the family of Heaven, yea incor­porated in it. It is a big word a­mongst men, when they can say, my Cosen of Essex or Norfolk, &c. to be allied to Earles, Dukes, &c. We think we mightily speak our honour, when he can speake it; is it not a far greater when we can say, My brother of heaven, nay my Father, my Lord, my husband, &c? Such honour have all his Saints.

Secondly, It might instruct us Inst. 2 of the happinesse of beleevers both in life, and death; we are the Lords possession, there is no feare of a bad Landlord. Are we his pur­chase? his redeemed ones? no feare of any slavery then, his yoke is easy, his burthen is light, his service a perfect freedome. Is he our Father, our Master, our Hus­band, our friend? we have then one that is able to help us, willing [Page 51] to succour us, ready to pitty us; a kind father, a loving husband, a carefull master. The Lord is our Shepheard, what can we want? Surely nothing that All-sufficiency can help us to. We are the Lords in our life; Nor is our portion in this life, Whether we live or dye we are the Lords: we are yet his friends, his servants, Jos. 1. 2. Joh. 11. 11. We are yet his temple in which he doth more manifest his glory than in our tabernacle while it comes to be dis­solved; we are yet his purchased pos­session, Eph. 1. 16. Dying loseth us not that friend. O happy, truly hap­py, and Blessed are they that dye in the Lord, for they rest from their la­bours. It was a lesson that John was commanded to write, do you re­member it, It was written for your Instruction, and comfort. Whe­ther ye live or die, ye are the Lords.

Thirdly, this may Instruct us Instit. 3 [Page 52] that there are but a very few that are true beleevers, that in death shall be the Lords. No more then those that live to the Lord, and dye to the Lord. And ah! how few those are? 1. What shall become of all prophane wretches, all drunkards, swearers, adulterers, all those rabbles of wretches, Rev. 20. v. 8. Eph. 5. 5. 1 Cor. 6. 8, 10. that in stead of living to the Lord, live to the Devill, to their base lusts and corruptions, and all their study is, how to obey the flesh, in the lusts of it? Ah Lord! what will be­come of these poor wretches when they dye, when you shall cry out, Animula! quo vadis? poore soule whither goest thou? It was a dreadfull passage I lately heard to have been the dying breath of such an one, Now goes my prore soule to pay all its debts. 2. What shall become of all those that live to the [Page 53] world, and make their gain the End of their life? whose whole life sounds nothing else, But what shall we eat? or what shall we drink? or what shall we put on? What will you gaine (friends) when to gaine the world, you shall weep over your lost poore soules; how will you ransome your selves from the pit? And so for any other that make a­ny thing below God, the End of their lives. And ah! where shall we find a man concerning whom, we may pronounce this text, while he lived, he lived to the Lord, and when he dyed, he dyed to the Lord? And yet this must be pronounced of all those that when they dy shall be the Lords: O remember your latter end!

4. This may instruct us in the right way, to dye comfortably. He that knowes he is the Lords cannot dye sadly; now wouldst thou find [Page 54] this? while thou livest, live to the Lord: when thou dyest, dye to the Lord. O the sweetnesse of perfumed death to the Saint! I remember I have heard of an holy man, that when he was about to dye, pro­fest to this effect. Now (saith he) were all the honors, pleasures, and con­tentments of the world on one hand, and death on the other, I would scorne them, and imbrace this. O get your hearts into such a frame, which cannot be without making the Lord (while you live) the end of your life and actions.

Fiftly, this may further instruct Inst. 5 us, Of the great difference betwixt the wicked, and the Godly, in their deaths, and of the Reason of it. The worldling lives to himselfe, and dyes to himselfe, perhaps he makes a­way himselfe, or dyes murmuringly, and blasphemes God, he cannot give God a good word at the last. The [Page 55] beleever could be content to be present with the Lord, yet he waites Gods leasure and patiently submits to what death God will have him dye, whether it be Natu­rall or Violent, sad or joyfull, short or tedious, and whatever his death be, he dyes, joyfully. The One is loth to dye and cannot a­bide to think of shaking hands with so many Gods as he hath here below; the other dyes cheer­fully, and in his death gives glory to God. The Reason of this diffe­rence is plain Enough. The Saint, 1. Hath lived to God. 2. De­sires to dye unto the Lord. 3. In death as well as in his life aimes at the glory of God. 4. Knowes that in death he shall be the Lords. The other, hath lived to him­selfe. 2. Aimes at nothing in dying but himselfe. 3. Knowes that if he dyes his soule sinks in [Page 56] hell for ever, can you blame the man for being loth to goe into Everlasting Burnings?

The second use may be Terror Use. 2 to those that neither regard while they live to live to the Lord, nor when they dye to dye to the Lord, all those mentioned in the former use, that live to their lusts, and pleasures, to the world, &c. Should here be deeply reproved, Take on­ly two places to reprove you, Isa. 50. 11. Eccl. 11. v. 9.

3. This doctrine may be apply­ed by way of Exhortation, And, O that I could perswade for God this day, some or other to be­gin a life to him, every one sayes, O that I might dye the death of the Righteous, that my latter end might be like his! but alas! who is there that lives according to his wish? wouldst thou bee the Lords when thou dyest? live not then to thy [Page 57] selfe but to the Lord, Live not ac­cording to thy owne lusts, live not to thy owne ends, but live by Gods law and to Gods glory: who would be the Lords when he dyes, he must be so while he lives; if God dwell with thy soule in life, thy soul shall dwell with him in death. O, leave trading for your selves, you spend your strength for nothing, and your money for that which will not profit. What shall it pro­fit thee to gaine all the world, and lose thy owne poore soule? Or what wilt thou give in Exchange for it? But I passe on (my time being expired, and the whole doctrine being practicall.)

2. Let every beleever, look upon this as an Engagement of his soule to God, that In life and death he is the Lords; And from hence learne, while he lives to live to the Lord; and when he dyes to dye to the Lord. [Page 58] To whom should the servant live but to the master? the wife, but to the husband? the child, but to the father? and the Saint, but to his Saviour? O quicken up your soules to this life, from this prin­ciple; your engagments to God are high, let your life be answerable; lay out the talents he hath given you, for his advantage; drive on his Interest, pursue his ends. You are bought with a price. Bloody friends have you been to Christ, who in this hath excel'd the love of men, that while you were yet enemies he dyed for you, that by his death you might be reconciled to God. Let God never complain concerning you, as he once complained of his Israelites, Isa. 1. 2. I have nourish­ed children, but not to my selfe; I have brought them up but they have rebelled against me. O let your con­versation be such as becometh the [Page 59] Gospell of Iesus Christ. You live in God, live also unto God: For none of us liveth to himselfe, &c.

Lastly, it may be applyed by way of Consolation, and so I shall ap­ply it more generally, or more par­ticularly relating to this occasion.

1. Generally. It may admini­ster comfort unto us, concern­ing our owne deaths. 2. Con­cerning our friends deaths.

1. Concerning our owne death. What, art thou afraid to dye Christian? To let thy soule returne to God that gave it?

Consider first, Hast thou not lived to God? Hast thou been his factor, and art thou afraid to see him? his child, and art thou afraid of returning to thy Fathers house? can the faithfull Servant feare a re­turne to his Master?

Consider secondly, Hath it not been thy desire to glorify God, as he [Page 60] pleaseth to be glorified? Thou hast finished thy course, runne thy race, done thy work, God hath had his de­sired glory of thee in thy life, and now his will is that thou shouldst glorify him by dying to him.

3. Remember that in death, thou art the Lords. To dye to me is gaine saith the Apostle. While we Phil. 1. 23. 1 Cor. 5. 6. are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord. At home doth the Apostle call it? a strange home! where we have neither father, nor brethren, nor scarce so much as a friend. By death thou doest but re­turne like the sunbeame into the body of the Sun: Thou art yet the Lords friend.

2. It may comfort us concer­ning the death of such our friends, as while they lived, lived to the Lord. Hast thou a beleeving friend dead?

1. Consider that he, or she, is [Page 61] where they would be; it is the de­sire of every Saint to glorify God in that manner that he desires to be glorified by them, to serve him any where, whether in the Kitchin or the Parlour it makes no mat­ter to them, giving glory to him is that they desire. Gods will is revealed when thy friend dyes that he would have them come, and serve at court. Why weepest thou? Thy friend hath his wish; she de­sired to be dissolved, and to be with Christ which is best of all.

Nay,

2. Consider thy friend hath not only his wish but his greatest happi­nesse, thy friend is the Lords, and that in a more speciall, and glo­rious manner, now than ever; Let this stop thy mouth: Thy friend is with the Lord, he hath him, he ownes him: the Sun­beame is but in-bodyed in the Sun, [Page 62] the blood is but runne to the heart. Ah! but we have lost! What hast thou lost Christian? 1. Was not thy friend the Lord's while he lived? the Lords by right, thine only by loan? was he not the Lords purchase? & shall not the Lord come when he please, and take possession of it? may he not pull it down, & build it up again, at his pleasure? shal he not do what he will his own? we use to say, A man may take his owne where ever he finds it; hath not God the like liberty? he hath found one of his lambes in thy pasture; it will argue an ill mind in thee not to bee willing he should take it home; what? because hee hath let thee keep it for him, wilt thou de­ny his right? His Saint can be spa­red out of heaven no longer.

2. Is he not the Lords possession? and shal not God take his house in­to his owne hands if he will when [Page 63] the tenants lease is out? God useth not to renew leases: Once I con­fesse he did it to Hezekiah, but his ordinary custome is, as leases of Saints lives expire, to take them into his owne hands, till he hath got in all his redeemed morgages, and the full day of redeeming the purchased possession shall come. Mayest thou remove thy house, and shall not God remove his whither he pleases? The Saints are Gods dwelling place, here he lives in Cotta­ges of clay, now when the beleever dyes God puls downe his clay-Cot­tages, intending to fetch away the timber and bricks, to build up himselfe a temple in the pa­radise of glory.

3. Nay are they not the Lords by nearer relation than thine? shall not the father take home his child, because the Schoolmaster shall lose the best Scholler of his [Page 64] schoole? shall not the husband take home his wife, because her friend shall lose a good compani­on? Hath God any thing from thee but his owne? wouldst not thou take it ill, if thy friend should keep thy wife or child, for his owne pleasure, when thou sendst for them after a long absence?

Lastly consider! shouldst not thou thy selfe, live to, and rejoyce in, the glory of God? Earth is a loser of what was none of its owne ever, but heaven is a gainer, there is one Saint more there, one starre more in the firmament of glory. Wilt thou weep because thy friend hath a Kingdome, and one jewell more is set in Christ diademe? should not the child rejoyce at the increase of his fathers family? If at the In­crease of the family of Grace, then surely at the Increase of the houshold of glory. There's one servant more [Page 65] added to the Bedchamber: Thy friend lived to the Lord, and died to the Lord, and now in Death is the Lords, and more the Lords than ever.

I have done with my Doctrine, and my generall Applicati­on; Let me add a little in par­ticular relating to this occasion.

You that mourne for this our sister removed, Mourn not, neither weep: while she lived, she lived not to her selfe, but to the Lord, when she died, she dyed not to her selfe, but to the Lord. In her life she was the Lords, and now in her death, I question not but she is the Lords.

You know it is not my custome to speak any thing concerning any upon these occasions, But there are two sorts of persons, concer­ning whom I think it is fit­ting, that if they have lived to the Lord while they lived, and dyed to [Page 66] the Lord in their death, their examples should be held out like Dorcas her clothes. 1. Eminent persons in the Magistracie. 2. Emi­nent preachers in the Church.

Of the first sort she was not, Not of the Noble and great persons of the Earth, but out of a poor fa­mily did the Lord chuse this elect vessell, to declare the Riches of the glory of his grace in. But you shall pardon me the expression, if I say, that while she lived, she was an Eminent preacher, and give her the character which our Savi­our gave S. Iohn, she was a burning, and a shining light; and I am con­fident, did more good, to poore soules, in the three yeares of her sicknesse, by telling them her ex­periences, directing, quickning, ex­horting, strengthening, satisfying, them, than God hath honoured any of us who have been prea­chers [Page 67] of his word, to doe in much more time. I meane not that she was a Pulpit-preacher, No, God had taught her to be wise to so­briety, she preached as Noah, by making the Ark, nay more, as Pris­cilla & Aquila, by privately instru­cting others in the wayes of God.

I shall speake but little of her, who while she lived spake her selfe so much, I meane the strength, and grace of God in her self, for I must not exalt her, whose constant designe, and practice, was so much to debase her selfe, and all creatures, that the Creator might have the glory of all.

I shal not commend her for her mor all vertues, and naturall duties, which is too usual upon such occa­sions as these (surely because bet­ter things cannot be spoken.) But I shall set out her example to you, so as to exalt the infinite grace of [Page 68] God towards her, and to let you see, who they are whom the Lord delighteth to honour, and how ac­ceptable it is to him, for yong ones to returne to their Father early, and for the poor to receive his gospell. Give me but leave to re­peat my text, and Sermon over her, and I have done.

It was but a little acquaintance I had of her, not yet two full years, in which time too, my multitude of occasions were too much ene­mies to my happines, in denying me so many opportunities of seeing her, as I desired. I shall not speak any thing, from others, but only what I have heard, and seen will I de­clare. Her whole time, since I knew her, was a Schooling time of Affliction (without any cessation) [Page 69] As I remember she wanted some yeares of thirty, when she dyed; and for three yeares and upward before that time, she was Gods close prisoner; and the greatest part of that time (so bitter was her cup) was spent in her bed.

I have heard her relating the be­ginning of her conversion, and for that I shall referr you to her owne account penned (by a faith­full See the precedent Relation. friend) from her owne mouth. Her life was a life of afflictions. 1. Inward, then outward. Inward, by the temptations of the Devil, ter­rors of conscience, and such usuall pangs as accompany the first birth: besides that her God was sometimes afterward behind the Curtain, and when he hid his face she was troubled; when after much seeking, she had found him whom her soule loved, and had got inward peace, that she was, as it were [Page 70] rapt into the third heavens, then lest she should be exalted above mea­sure she had a thorn in the flesh given to buffet her, God visited her with a long, and tedious affliction, how she demeaned her selfe in the beginning of it, what she met with, how she conquered, you may take from her owne mouth in the precedent Relation: I shall only supply the Chronicle of her dayes where her owne Relation ceased.

We commonly say Affliction is a spending time, it was not a beginning to her but it was a grow­ing time of grace. The first time I came to visit her (when I was but a stranger to her and to this City) I remember her first question was, Sir I beseech you tell me how I may glorify God in my affliction. I told her, either by patient submitting to his hand, and quieting our [Page 71] selves in his will, acknowledging his righteousnesse, &c. Or by Speaking to his glory to others, &c. For the passive part, it was a les­son she had so well learned, that no discontent could either be read in her carriage or countenance, nor a repining word be heard from her lipps. And it was no light Affliction, for a young and Active body in its strength to have Gods fetters laid upon it, and to be kept so close a prisoner, as she was, so long a time. But her God had sub­dued her spirit to the feet of his owne will. The latter and Active part she so practised, that her chamber was as a room of para­dise, none came in there, but went away Instructed, or Satisfied, or quickned, or some way or other bet­tred. The greatest part of her work was Angelicall, a speaking well of God, admiring and exalting his [Page 72] free grace, telling what he had done for her soule; yet she remembred, that while she was in the body she had a duty to doe to others, and never did any labour more for God with the soules of others than this pretious one. Grace had made her eloquent; her birth, and breeding was meane, but the Lord had given her the tongue of the excel­lent. O the abundance of grace that was powred out into her lipps! I appeale to you, did not your hearts burne within you when you heard her speak, the Excellency of sense, spirituall sense? I som­times (as my occasions permitted) went to visit her, and while I thought to speak, my eares silen­ced my tongue, and gave her leave to be the preacher, for the gain of those in the room, and that I my self might learn Righteousnes: who ever heard her, mentioning her [Page 73] affliction? discoursing of any worldly thing? O that my tongue were so sanctified! she seemed to have lost all sense of Affliction, and while she was in the body, to have been out of it; she would often call upon those yong ones that were babes of grace and came frequently to visit her to labour after more communion with God. I remember one thing she would often Vrge, and I be­seech you to remember it, viz. The excellency of the benefit the soule might reape by private prayer. She told you for this what was her and (if you be not your owne foes) may also be your experience. To make my discourse short, The time of her life grew short, and as she grew nearer the Earth, so she grew more heavenly in her Hallelujahs, making of it then her onely work to Glorify God, by admiring [Page 74] his grace, and exalting his name. I went to visit her the day before the Lord took her to himself, I found her bereaved of most of her sen­ses; but yet God gave her the li­berty of speech, which she ceased not to improve to his glory. Ma­ny of her friends were weeping over her, she was discoursing of the Creators Excellency, and the Creatures vanity, and that in such language, that one would have thought she had had the tongue of the Eloquent as well as the Excel­lent: And so incessant was she in that her spirituall worke, that she would speake even till she had lost her speech, and pawsing a little (to recover her selfe) renewed her dis­course, to the admiration of my selfe, and those others that heard her; she had so far lost her under­standing, that upon such pawses she ordinarily forgat what she had [Page 75] said, and renewing her discourse, would either beg the help of the standers by, or goe on upon some new, but (as heavenly) discourse; to give thee a tast thereof, take what I took that day from her own mouth Her words were these:

[Here her speech fai­led, and pawsing till she had recove­red her self, she was not able to re­member what she spake last, but went on]

Here her speech failed, and she again pawsed. It be­ing Saturday, my private studies called me off, and I saw her no more, she dying the next day: But by the report of her friends, she continued her work, till God said, It is enough, and then she quietly surrendred her soule to him that redeemed it. What passages she had nearer her death I shall omit, being not an ear-witnesse.

Thus I have now set before you her holy Example, and have shewed you, how while she lived, she lived not to her self, but unto the Lord, and when she dyed, she dyed not to her self, but to the Lord. And now to what purpose (doe you thinke) have I [Page 79] done all this? What, meerly to commend her? God forbid; But 1. For the glory of God. 2. For your good. 1. For the setting out Gods glory, in the riches of his free grace, 1. That he would reveale himself [...]o such a Babe, when he conceales himselfe from the wise and pru­dent. 2. That passing by the great men, and rich men of the earth, he would chuse this meane one (in com­parison of others) to make knowne such a fulnesse of grace in of all kind of grace, both for her use and com­fort, as I have never before in any met with the like. It is rare to see one that hath so much both strength and peace as this precious one had, to her last houre.

Secondly, I have done it for your good. You have seene a quickning Example, and heard quickning words, the Lord give to me and you quickned [Page 80] hearts. Learne hence,

1. You that are young, O slip not your golden Age. God delights much in young ones, reveales him­selfe much to babes that begin their life to him.

2. You that are mean in the world, learne to walke with God, to keep close to Christ; you may be richer in the grace of Christ, than the great men your Rulers.

3. Let all learne to be carefull of resting in any thing short of Christ: It was her counsell, O let her dying words sticke fast; she was full of duties, holy in her constant con­verse, yet nothing but Christ com­forts her.

4. Let all learne from her, though not to rest in duties, yet to per­forme them, and that in secret. O be much with God in your closets, she tels you how sweet it will be.

5. Learne from her Example [Page 81] to be holy, yet humble, her knowledge puffed her not up; yet I dare say, she had a great deale more of heaven in her, than some hundreds of those that thinke they know enough to be Preachers: she was as heavenly as they, but not so proud and wan­ton.

6. Learn from her to lay in grace betimes. The Winter may come suddenly, her snow was fallen early.

7. Learne from her, in affliction to possesse your sonles with patience, to remember it is Gods hand, and be still. Who heard her murmure?

8. Learne from her, to tell others what God hath done for your soules. This she made her work.

9. Learne from her, to reprove, direct, comfort, quicken, strengthen those that are your brethren. This was her work upon all occasions.

In short, learne from her exam­ple,

There came to my hands a sheet written close, containing severall promises, which she by her dili­gent reading had gathered up to sute her soule in the time of need, indeed, so many, and so aptly ap­plyed, that it would cause admira­tion to consider how she could con­taine them in her memory, or rea­dily find them as they lye scattered in the Booke of God (without the help of a Concordance). But in re­gard these sheets have swell'd too far already, and in regard the pro­mises Skippon on the Promi­ses. Leigh on the Promises. The Saints Legacy. are already sweetly rank'd (in severall Books printed) I thought good to omit the insert­ing of them. Now to the God of grace be Honour and Glory.