The VVestminster Frolick: Or, The Cuckold of his own procuring.

Being a true Relation of a Vintener, who for a considerable quantity of Guinnies undertook to perswade his Servant Maid to prostitute her self to a young Spark, pretending to her that it was no other but himself; whereupon she seemingly complying, discovered it to her Mistriss, who supplying her place, grafted her Husbands Head.

Thus may we see how scurvy ill-Star'd fate
Does cross some men, nay how they do create
Their own misfortunes, yet for to be bold
The Vintener got his Horns well tipt with Gold.
Tune of, Hey boys up go we.
A Frolick strange I'le to you tell,
the like you ne'r did hear:
A Vintener at Westminster
(as is will plain appear)
A handsome servant Maid did keep,
Which makes him now to rue,
For by mistake his head was Horn'd;
this story it is true.
This beautious maid inflam'd a Spark
both comely, rich, and gay,
Who her in vain solicited
with him to go astray,
And offer'd her great store of Gold
bu [...] all that would not do,
she would not yield to Lawless Love:
Which he perceiving, was the more
desirous of his will,
And many waies he cast about
his purpose is fulfill:
At length he thought her Master might
oblige her to come to,
Tho by it he did Horn his head:
this story it is true.
To him he then reveal'd his mind
with promises of Wealth;
If that he could his Maid perswade
to yield him love by stealth.
After some pause and Gold in hand
he undertook to do
The thing that after Horn'd his pate:
Then kindly[?] to his Maid he spoke,
and after[?] on her smil'd,
That[?] [...] the better by such means
might quickly[?] be beguil'd;
Watching his time he undertakes
then for himself to wooe,
By which design he Horn'd his pate:
[...]his story it is true:
At first she mighty[?] strange did séem,
as coy as coy[?] could be;
But after[?] many tempting words
[...]he seemed to agree:
But what he did it was resolv'd
in darkness[?] he should do;
And there alas he Horned was:
the story it is true.
For whilst he to the Gallant went
to tell[?] him how he sped,
The Crafty Lass her Mistriss told
what proffers he had made;
Who highly did commend her for't,
and undertook to do
The thing which hornd her husbands head
the story it is true.
The Room appointed private was,
and made exceeding dark,
When at the hour appointed came
the over-joyful Spark
His long-wisht joys for to possess,
and pleasure to pursue;
But by mistake the Vintener Horn'd;
the story it is true.
For why? The Mistriss was conveyed
upon the bed there placed;
And feigned the Virgins voice so well,
that[?] kindly he embrac'd
His suppos'd lovely Charmer fast,
and sport did oft renew,
He bravely Horned the Vinteners head,
the story it is true.
Whilst in one corner of the Room
the Virgin she did stand
And heard what past, the Vintener eke
was ready there at hand
To keep the door but little thought
what after he did rue;
Which was the Horning of his pate:
the story it is true.
For why? with oft embraces tired,
at last they taking rest,
The Lady who had sported long.
her self in words exprest:
I plainly see, said she aloud,
you if you list can do
The feats of love, though not with me:
the story it is true.
I find you can; ungrateful man,
see how you are deeciv'd:
You thought your Maid was in your arm [...]
when you so closely cleav'd,
But you'r mistaken it is plain;
at this the Gallant knew
That he the Vintener Horned had:
the story it is true.
When between pleasd and vexd he caste
him straitway in to see
How he had finely fool'd himself
in such a high degree;
At which Horn-mad he curst and swore
and much distracted grew,
Because he by mistake was horn'd
the story it is true.
But seeing that his Horns were tipt
he rested satisfied,
And pocketed them instantly
his infamy to hide;
And vowed he'd never more procure,
what ever he did do,
Since by his own procurement Horns
upon his Forehead grew.

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