THE SPEECH OF A FYFE LAIRD; NEWLY COME FROM GRAVE.
WHat accident, what strange mishap,
Awakes me from my heavenly nap?
What sprit? what God-head by the lave,
Hath rais'd my Body from the Grave?
It is an hundred years almost,
Since I was buried in the dust:
And now I think that I am living,
Or else, but doubt, my brains are raving:
Yet do I feel (while as I study)
The faculties of all my Body:
I taste, I smel, I touch, I hear,
I find my sight exceeding clear:
Then I'm alive, yea sure I am,
I know it by my corporal frame:
But in what part where can I be,
My wavering brains yet tortures me.
Once I was call'd a great Fyff Laird,
I dwelt not far from the Hall-yard.
But who enjoys my Land and Pleugh,
My Castle, and my fine Cole-heugh:
I can find out no living man,
Can tell me this, do what I can:
Yet if my memory serve me well,
This is the Shyre where I did dwell:
This is the part where I was born:
For lo, beneath me stands Kinghorn:
And there about the Lowmond hill,
Stands as it stood yet ever still.
There is Bruntiland, Aberdore,
I see Fyffs coast alongst the shore.
Yet I am right, for my life,
This is my native Countrey Fyff.
O but it's long and many a year,
Since last my feet did travel here.
I find great change in old Lairds places,
I know the ground, but not the faces.
Where shall I turn me first about,
for my acquaintance is worn out?
O this is strange that even in Fyff,
I do know neither Man nor Wife;
No Earl, no Lord, no Laird, no People,
But Lesly and the Mark-inch steeple.
Old noble W [...]eems, and that is all,
I think enjoys their Farhers hall.
For from Dumfermling to Fyffs-ness,
I do know none that doth possess
[...] Grandsyres Castles and his Towers:
[...] is away that once was ours.
[...] full of wrath, I scorn to tarrie,
I [...]now them no more than the Fairie:
[...] I admire and marvel strange.
What is the cause of this great change?
I hear a murmuring report,
Passing amongst the common sort:
For some says this, and some says that,
And others tell, I know not what?
Some says the Fyff Lairds ever rews,
Since they began to take the Lews:
That bargain first did brew their bail,
[...]s tells the honest men of Crail.
Same doth ascribe their supplantation,
Into the Lawyers Congregation.
[...]o, but this is a false suppose.
For all things wyts that well not goes,
[...]e what it will, there is some source
[...]ath bred this universal curse:
This transmigration and earth-quake,
[...]hat caus [...]d the Lairds of Fyff to break.
He that enthrones a shepherdling,
He that dethrones a potent King:
And he that makes a Cotter Laird,
The Barrous Bairns to delve a Yard.
Almighty, he that shakes the Mountains,
And brings great rivers from smal fountains
It is the power of his hand,
That makes both Lords & Lairds have land.
Yet there may be, as all men knaws,
An evident and well seen cause:
A publick and a common evil,
That made the meekle Master-devil
To cast his Club all Fyff throughout,
And lent each Laird a deadly rout.
Mark then, I'll tell you how it was,
What way this wonder came to pass:
It sets me best the truth to pen,
Because I fear no mortal men.
When I was born a meddle-yerd wight,
There was no word of Laird or Knight:
The greatest Styles of honour than,
Was to be tituled the Goodman;
But changing time hath chang'd the case,
And puts a Laird in Good-mans place.
For why? my Gossip Good man Iohn,
And honest Iames, whom I think on,
When we did meet whiles at the haulking,
We us'd no cringes, but hands shaking,
No bowing, shouldring, gambe-scraping:
No French whistling, or Dutch gaping:
We had no Garments in our Land,
But were spun by the Good-wives hand;
No Drap de-berry, cloaths of seal:
No stuffs ingrain'd in Cusheneal:
No Plulsh, no Tushue, Cramosie:
No China, Turky, Toffaty:
No proud Piropus, Paragon,
Or Chackerallay, there was none:
No Figurata, or Water-camblet:
No Bishops-satine, or silk Chamblet,
No cloth of Gold, or Bever-hats,
We car'd more for then the Cats:
Nor windy flowrishing flying Feathers,
Nor sweet permusied shambo leathers:
No hilt nor crampet richly hatched:
A lance, a sword in hand we snatched:
Such base and boyish vanities,
Did not beseem our dignities:
We were all real and compleat,
Stout for our Friends, on horse or feet,
True to our Prince to shed our blood,
For Kirk, and for our common good.
Such men we were, it is well known,
As in our Chronicles are shown.
This made us dwel into our land,
And our Posterity to stand:
But when the young Laird became vain,
And went away to France and Spain,
Rome racking, wandring here and there:
O then began our bootless care.
Pride puft him up because he was
Far travell'd, and return'd an Ass.
Then must the Laird, the Good-man oy,
Be Knighted straight, and make convoy,
Coatche through the street with Horses four,
Foot-grooms pasmented ore and ore.
Himself cut out and slasht so wide,
En'n his whole shirt his skin both hide.
Gowpherd, gratnizied, cloaks rear pointed
Embroidered, lac'd, with boots disjointed:
A belt embost wich Gold and purle:
False hair made craftily to curle:
Side breeks bebutton'd ore the garters,
Was ne're the like seen in our quarters.
Tobacoo and wine Frontinack,
Potato pasties, Spanish sack,
Such uncouth food, such meat and drink,
Could never in our stomack sink:
Then must the Granure swear and swagger,
And show himself the bravest bragger.
A bon-companion and a drinker,
A delicate and dainty ginker.
So is seen on't. These foolish gigs,
Hath caus'd his Worship sell his rigs.
Sy Lady, as she is a woman,
Is born a helper to undo man.
Her Ladiship must have a share,
For she is play-maker and mair;
For she invents a thousand toys,
That house and hold and all destroys,
As scarfs, shephrons, tuffs and rings,
Fairdings, facings. powerings
Rebats, revands, bands and ruffs,
Lapbands, shagbands, cuffs and muffs,
Folding outlayes, pearling sprigs,
Aterys, vardigals, periwigs:
Hats, hoods, wyrs and kells,
Washing-balls, perfuming smels:
French gows cut out and double banded,
Iet rings to make her pleasant handed:
A fan, a feather, bracelets, gloves,
All new-come busks she dearly loves:
For such trim bony baby clouts,
Still on the Laird she greets and shouts:
Which made the Laird take up more gear,
Then all the Land and [...]igs could bear.
These are the Emblems that declares
The Merchants thriftless, needless wares,
The Taylors curious vanity,
My Ladies prodigality.
This is the truth which I discover:
I do not care for feed or favor:
For what I was, yet still I am,
An honest, plain, true dealing man;
And if these words of mine would mend them
I care not by though I offend them:
Her [...] is the cause most plainly shown,
That hath our Countrey-overthrown,
It's said of old, that others harms,
Is oftentimes the wise mans arms:
And he is thought most wise of all,
That learns good from his neighbors fall.
It grieves my heart to see this age,
I cannot stay to act more stage:
I will ingrave me in the ground,
And rest there till the trumpet sound:
And if I have said ought affray,
Which may a messons mind dismay,
I do appeal before the throne
Or the great powers, three in one;
The Supream Soveraignity,
The Parliament of verity.
And if you think my Speech offends,
Ye must be there, I's make amen [...]s.
FINIS.
Mercurius Scotus Hybernicus. P. M.