THE PHANATICK ANATOMIZED.
A True Phanatick to Anatomize,
Requires the Head and Brains of one more wise
Then I; Yet since that I am set upon't,
I'le go through-stitch with it what e're comes on't.
His Extract's Ancient, having for its rise,
Our Grand Fore-Fathers first in Paradise;
Adam and Eve were Nonconformists, They
The strict command of God did disobey,
He is so Fruitful, and loves Propagation,
That's Tribe (like hated Jews) fills ev'ry Nation.
To see him in his Cloaths you might well swear,
That he some Clothier, or Weaver were:
They are not black, but of a Medly hue,
Not much unlike to Russet, or Coventrey-blue.
About Eight years he hath been dumb, but now
By the Benigne Aspect of Princely brow,
His Speech's restor'd again, I wish that He,
For such a Miracle may thankful be.
His Hair is short, and stands almost upright,
As if but newly rescu'd from a fright:
But some of them are White, and Gray again,
Not caus'd by age, but violent heat of brain;
Which being restless, drives them forth to action,
Which ends most commonly in dang'rous Faction.
His Head and Crown is round, and balld behind,
And to Vertigoes very much inclin'd;
His forehead high, and hard beyond all Story:
His Chin is an extended Promontory.
His Eyes are small, yet one bigger then t'other,
The great one views himself, the less his Brother.
His Nose is sharp, and very quick of scent,
To smell out Belly-chear in starving Lent.
His Ears are long, one always hanging down,
To listen after News that stirs in Town:
The other tending upward 'bove his Chin,
For Mah'mets Pidgeon to whisper in.
His Beard in length is almost half a Span,
And 'tis that which most denominates him Man.
[...]bition, Pride, (like Rivers to the Main,)
[...]Dissemboge themselves into his Veins.
[...]s Countenance is supercilious,
[...] if God made Him only, and not Us.
[...]s low of Stature, Nature did decree,
That of a thing not good, the less should be.
He's very aged, yet hath strong conceipts,
He shall live many years, and act strange feats;
But I'm perswaded with a strong presumption,
He'l shortly die of Megrim, or Consumption.
As for his Speech, seeing he hath been dumb,
I know not what 'twill be, but must say Mum.
His Chops are lean through envy, and his Face,
Is th' seat of Impudence, and not of Grace.
His Mouth, and Gullet's large, whereby he's able,
For to impov'rish a well fraught table.
His Pallate is precise, for in no wise
Will down with him Plum-pottage or Mince Pies.
His Arms and Hands are long, but strong withal,
And gripeth hard who under them doth fall.
His breath is tainted both with Rage and Spight,
His Neck is stiff, and cannot turn to th' right.
His Breast (having no Window to't) I spare
To look into, because I can't, nor dare;
Some think his Heart is hollow, but 'tis fit
To leave that unto God, who searcheth it.
His Back, and Sholders broad, yet cannot bear,
A heavy Burden, such as Common-Prayer.
His Belly's Tympanous, and full of pain,
Caused (some think) by emptiness of brain.
His unbeseeming parts I shall pass by,
Judging they hold with th'rest just Simmetry.
His Knees are stiff, whereby he hardly can
Bow them in suit, either to God or Man.
His Thighs and Legs are weak, and cannot bear;
I wish he would once learn to forbear
By undervaluing words our Hierarchy,
To render odious to every eye.
Best Christian's He that others censures least,
And most himself Reforms, and never rests,
Until (with fervent tears) he doth bemoan
His Brothers slips, together with his own.
His Feet are lame, whereby he often erres,
And cann't go straight because he interferes.
His Soul I will not meddle with at all,
But leave it to the Master of us all,
Whom I shall always pray with fervent cry,
To unite us in the bands of Charity.
FINIS.
LONDON, Printed, Anno Domini: 1672.