A merry new Song how a Bruer meant to make a Cooper cuckold▪ and how deere the Bruer paid for the bargaine.
To the tune of, In Somertime.
IF that you list now merry be,
Lend listning eares a while to me:
To heare a song of a Bruer bold,
That meant a Cooper to cuckold.
The Cooper walked downe the stréete,
And with the Bruer chanc'd to méete:
He called worke for a Cooper dame,
The Bruer was glad to heare the same.
Cooper quoth the Bruer come hether to me,
Perchance I haue some worke for thée:
If that they doings I doe well like,
Thou shalt haue worke for all this wéeke.
The Cooper with cap and curtesie low,
Said ready I am my tunning to show,
To doe your worke sir euery deale,
I doe not doubt to doe it well.
Then quoth this lustie Bruer tho,
If thou my worke doest meane to doe:
Come to me to morrow before it be day,
To hoope vp these olde tubs out of the way.
And so to make vp my merry rime,
The Cooper the next day rose betime
To the Bruers gate he tooke his race
And knocked there a great pace.
The Bruer leapt from his bed to the flore,
And to the Cooper he opned the dore:
He shewed him his worke without delay,
To the Coopers wife then he tooke the way.
The Cooper he called at mind at last,
His hatchet he had left at home for hast:
And home for his hatchet he must goe,
Before he could worke the cause it was so.
But when he came his house somwhat nere
His wife by fortune did him heare:
Alas said she, what shift shall we make,
My husband is come you will be take.
O Lord (sayd the Bruer) what shall I doe,
How shall I hide me: where shall I goe:
Said shee if you will not be espide,
Créepe vnder this Fat your selfe to hide.
The Bruer he crept vnder the same,
And blundering in the Cooper came:
About the shop his Tubs he cast,
To finde out his hatchet all in hast.
Then his curst wife began to prate,
If thou let out my Pig ile breake thy pate,
A Pig said the Cooper I knew of none,
If thou hadst not spoke the pig had bin gone
If it be a Sow-pig said the Cooper,
Let me haue him rosted for my supper:
It is a Bore-pig man said she,
For my owne dyet and not for thée.
It is hard if a woman cannot haue a bit,
But straightway her husband must know of it
A Bore-pig said the Cooper so me thinks,
He is so ramish fie how he stinkes.
Well sayd the Cooper so I might thriue,
I would he were in thy belly a liue.
I thanke you for your wish good man,
It may chance it shall be there anon,
The Bruer that vnder the Fat did lye,
Like a Pig did assay to grunt and crie:
But alas his voice was nothing small,
He cryed so big that he mard all.
Wife said the Cooper this is no pig,
But an old hog he grunteth so big,
He lift vp the Fat then by and by,
There lay the Bruer like a Bore in a stie.
Wife said the Cooper thou wilt lie like a dog
This is no pig but a very old hog:
I sweare quoth the Cooper I doe not like him,
Ile knock him on the head ere ile kéepe him.
O Lord said the Bruer serue me not so,
Hold thy hand Cooper and let me goe:
And I will giue thée both Ale and Béere,
To find thy house this sixe or seauen yeare.
I will none of thy Ale nor yet of thy Béere,
For feare I be poisoned within seauen yéere:
Why sayd the Bruer if thou mistrust,
Hold here the keyes of my best chest.
And there is gold and siluer store,
Will serue thée so long and somewhat more:
If there be store quoth the Cooper I say,
I will not come emptie handed away.
The Cooper went and filled his hat,
The Bruer shall pay for vsing my Fat:
The hooping of twentie tubs euery day,
And not gaind me so much as I doe this way.
When he came againe his house within,
Packe away qd he Bruer with your broken shin:
And vnder my Fat créepe you no more,
Except you make wiser bargaines before.