WHen Nathaniel Butler was first appre­hended and brought before me, he was in exceeding great burden of Spirit, full of tears, free to confess the Fact, with all the aggravations thereof, and was sollicitous for nothing, but a few days respit for his poor Soul, it seeming to me that nothing at that time was on his thoughts, but what should be­come of his Soul.

At my first Conference with him which was about five or six days after his Condemnation, I found him very ready to acknowledge his actual sins, and to charge himself with them and the aggravations that did accompany [Page]them, and this with sad tears of complaint, and indignation against himself and his sins; but did take no notice of his sinful Nature; Which my self and a Friend with me (Mr Grif­fith of the Charter house) perceiving, We en­deavoured by Scripture to shew him his sin­ful Nature, as the Root of all his sinful acti­ons, which he diligently hearkened to, and was affected with, but acknowledged his former Ig­norance herein, and that he had not so expres­ly before thougth hereof, or been instructed hereabout, and what he heard and received at this time among other Particulars, was so far blest, and wrought into his soul, that to our selves, and (as we heard) to others, he did from that Night following much insist upon and bemoan his sinful nature, and the state of sin he was born in, as well as, or together with those sinful acts he was guilty of.

At my second being with him, after apply­ing the free grace of God and Christ cruci­fied to his faith for the pardon of his sins; I asked him whether his heart could most wil­lingly receive that pardon, or a pardon for his life, and bid him consider, and tell me what his heart said in that Point: After a little pause, he made me this Answer, That indeed he did not desire to live longer in this world, for he had found sin so bitter a thing, and him­self, [Page]so prone to sin, that if he should live lon­ger, and sin against God, it would be much more bitter to him then death, and he did heartily Blesse God that had brought him to the hand of Justice, and did truly love the party, who (as he thought) was the In­strument to discover him, acknowledging that the Devil had tempted him to lay violent hands on himself; and after that temptation to fly beyond the Sea; which if God had suf­fered him to do, and so escaped Justice, he might have gone on in his former course of sin without Repentance, but did truly bless God that had delivered him from these tem­ptations; and had brought him to that conditi­on that then he was in, he did acknowledge with much thankfulness to God man, the mercy of a few days between death and judge­ment, and that God had given him so great a share in the hearts and prayers of his peo­ple; he did several times throw himself on the free grace of God in the blood and merits of Jesus Christ alone for his Salvation, renoun­cing all but Christ, acknowledging that he beleeved to be washed from his bloody Fact, and all his other sins, by no means but by the blood of Jesus Christ.

At my third and last time of being with [Page]him, which was the night before he died, I indeavoured to hold forth to his faith from Scripture, the glorious state in heaven to all Eternity, that Jesus Christ had purchased and was in the possession of for true believers, and into which such souls should immediatly en­ter, when they leave the body, and abide there with Christ their Head for ever: To which he gave very great heed and attention, and though his lips said little, yet to my apprehen­sion his soul spake very much, for it wrought in his body, as if it were raised up by Faith; through what was held out to him, even to the admiring of that grace and glory; The working of his soul, was mixt with Tears (as I conceive) of Joy; for he mention­ed nothing of the fear of Death, though he was often minded of it, how neer it was at hand, nor did I then perceive any paleness in his face, or sinking of Spirit, (the Symp­tomes of the fear of Death;) But that those workings of his Soul were reachings after that glorious Inheritance held out in Rom. 8.17. To be heirs of God, joynt heirs with Christ, which Scripture was then opened to him: And that glorious inheritance set forth by the concurrence of several other Scriptures, with an indeavour to give him a View by the eye of faith, of that which in a very few mo­ments [Page]after, his soul should to all Eternity be made partaker of in joy and glory with Christ in Heaven, which was infinitely more then could be expressed or conceived; and this I judge did make his Soul so work within him. After some time in prayer, I parted with him, and almost the last words I had from him were these, He told me, he was really offend­ed with himself, because he hated sin no more, which had caused him to offend God so much; he told me Satan was busie to perswade him, That all his Faith and Repentance was false, but he had beleeved the Divel too long, and he would trust him no longer, but now cast his eternal soul on the free grace of God in the Blood of Christ alone for Salvation, renouncing himself wholly. In this resolu­tion and frame of Spirit I left him: And as I am informed, (through the free grace of God) he did abide and increase in it to his last breath. Upon the whole, I am truly per­swaded from that Work of God that I ob­served to be wrought in him, and the de­grees of it, that though his former life was full of all wickedness, his soul exceeding ignorant of God, and his own sinful nature all that time, and his Repentance and Faith in Christ very late, yet that the free grace of God (who is not bounded to time) did make [Page]both his Faith and Repentance true, and do beleeve he is with Christ in glory. I do not give this Publike Attest to encourage sin, but to magnifie the free grace of God in Jesus Christ to Sinners, and I do assure whoso­ever reads this, that poor soul which is the Subject of it, found sin to be exceeding bit­ter before he had any tast of the sweet­ness of Gods free grace in Christ. Hoping this may be of Publike Use, I am free to Attest it with my Name. September 10. 1657.

THE said Nathaniel Butler expressed, 1. A deep sense of that desperate Bloody fact which he had committed, which he loaded with all the blackest aggra­vations that might be; especially with this Consideration; That for ought he knew, he had destroyed body and soul with oue blow: He had begg'd and obtained a space of Repentance from his Judges, but had not afforded his Brother one moment to beg pardon at the hand of God. This Consideration stuck so deeply upon his spirit, that it had well nigh sunk him into de­spair, had not God sent in some relief by the hand of one that visited him in prison, in the [Page]instance of Manasseh, who having sacrificed his sons unto Devils, and shed much other in­nocent blood, upon his repentance finding mercy, did not despairingly afflict himself with the consideration of what became of the souls of those whom he had so cruelly murder­ed. Secret things belong unto the Lord, &c.

2. He exprest not only sense of the guilt of Blood, but a right Gospel-notion of the sinfulness of sin; All sin, the least sin, not as destroying only, but as defiling; not as con­trary to the Creature in the effects of it, but as contrary to God in the nature of it; A grieving of the Spirit; a crucifying of Jesus Christ afresh; a most unworthy requital of the love of a crucified Saviour.

3. He discovered also that, which indeed was the thing which I came purposely to the Prison to enquire after, viz. A right appre­hension of Original sin, the Corruption of his Nature, which he lookt upon as the Fountain and Spring-head of his Murder, Theft, and all other actual wickedness bewailing them all with David, in their first source and spring; Behold, I was born in sin, and in iniquity did my mother conceive me, Ps. 51.5.

In a word, He had as right a notion of [Page]the state of Unregeneracie, as ever I found in any new Convert.

4. He exprest also an high appretiation of Jesus Christ; not only for pardon of sin, but for power against sin; not only to de­liver the soul from the wrath to come, and everlasting burning, but from the state of Na­ture; As a Fountain of Holiness, as well as a Fountain of Happiness.

5. An high apprehension and admiration of Free-grace, in pardoning such a sinner as he was: Which he exprest with much self-abhorrencie, as one that had no regard to the Sabbath never acquainted himself with the Bible, or Catechism, never prayed; And if a good Thought were entring his heart, he would thrust it away from him with greatest indignation. The pardon of these, with other sins, he admired in some such language as the Apostle did, 1 Tim. 1.13.

6. God had vouchsafed him a sweet taste of the Promises; some whereof, most suitable to his condition, God had pitched his soul upon, which he repeated with so sweet a relish, as a man might perceive his soul was even ravished with the sence thereof.

7. Wonderfully did he bless and admire the goodness of God in calling such a cruel enemy to mankind as he was, in murdering his Brother, into the prayers, compassion, and care of so many of his precious Servants, both Ministers and others. He did particular­ly acknowledge the extraordinary pains, care, and tenderness of the Chief Magistrate of the City, to be beyond all president, or expres­sion.

8. Great affection and compassion he ex­pressed to the souls of others: His Fellow-Prisoners profanenefs and desperate security he exceedingly lamented; the ignorance and blindnefs of many that came to see him, he heartily bewailed; They would aggravate his bloody fact, and ask him whether the sight of the Bags were not the first temptation to the murdering of his Brother? But alas! said he, it was not the sight of the bags, nor the instiga­tion of the Devil, that could have put me upon such a wickedness, had there not been a curs­ed nature within me, by means whereof I was a Murderer before ever I slew my Bro­ther and an Adulterer, and a Blasphemer, &c. Yea, he said he looked upon that original corruption he carried about him, a greater sin before God, then a thousand acts of murder, of adultery, &c. because it is the fountain of [Page]them all; which I never saw, said he, or took notice of till now that God hath opened mine eyes in this wonderful manner. Neither do the most of men and women see it; but be­cause by the restraining power of God; they live free from such gross and scandalous crimes, they think themselves in a good estate, and that they shall be saved: But alas, said he, they have the same nature that I had, and until their natures are changed and renewed, they are accounted as guilty of all sins before God, and as uncapable of Heaven and salva­tion, as if they had committed them in the greatest act; this ignorance of the generality of people, old and young he bewailed with much hearty sence and feeling.

9. He was very firm and fixed to the Prin­ciples of the Protestant Religion, though he had but newly suckt them in: Insomuch that being several times encountred in Prison by some Priests and other Papists, that came to seduce this poor dying Wretch, who told him that if he would be reconciled to the Church of Rome. and turn Catholique (as they call it) they has power to pardon absolve him (which his Ministers had not) and that if he would not renounce his Religion, there was no way with him but damnation; with divers such menaces [Page]to terrifie him, and flatteries to ensnare him: Yet the Young-man, through grace, stood a­gainst all these Temptations, as a Rock that could not be moved, but sent them away with a great deal of contempt and indignation. He wisht the Civil Magistrate would be watch­ful, and restrain the liberty, and prevent the temptations of these Seducers; which he pro­mised to make his humble request to them at his death.

10. He did not at all doubt of his sal­vation through Free-grace, the merits and love of Jesus Christ; though withall he did make it a very solemn Query, Whether he might warrantably and safely cast himself up­on Jesus Christ, on such terms as God holds him forth in the Gospel to poor lost Sinners, being such a Sinner as he had been?

11. He was not at all afraid of death, nor desirous to live; but being asked by a Gentle­man that stood by, what he would do if he should live? he answered, He desired not life if he might have it; partly because he durst not trust his own heart; partly out of an infinite desire he had to be with Christ, who had loved such a loveless wretch as he was.

One expression he used was, That he was not at all angry with his sin for bringing him to such a shameful end, the shame and death do not in the least trouble me. He was above all these considerations, and desired that God might be glorified in, and by his suffer­ings.

12. And lastly, He earnestly desired them pre­sent to joyn in prayer with him, which was performed by a Minister, who was witness to this part of the Narative. He exprest strong affections, and workings of spirit during prayer, and much thankfulness for that Chri­stian office.

In many of these particulars, possibly his very expressions in terminis, may not be so exactly rendred; but a to the import and substance of every particular, this is a faith­ful and true relation.

In all he spake, the manner of his speech and countenance exprest the highest affecti­on that might be.

BEing desired to preach at Newgate, Aug. 30. in the Afternoon (being the Lords day immediately preceding the Execution of Nathaniel Butler) I carefully observed him while preaching, and had discourse with him both before and after Sermon.

While preaching, I took notine, that the man seemed wholly taken up with what he heard, not minding the great crowd about him, that came to see a poor reed shaken with the wind, staring him in the face as a condemned Malefactor; but he minded the Pardon I in the Name of God offered him, (treating of the Pardoning Grace of God) with so fixed an eye frequently did he look up­on me, and so heedfully turn to Scriptures, as one taken up with the weightiest matters, when as otherwise it might have wrought som discomposure, to have so many such Observers.

When with him before and after Sermon, I took notice both of his carriage and Words, by both which, great discovery of the frame and temper of his mind might be made.

His Carriage to my Observant and Impar­tiall apprehension seemed to be excellently at­tempered to his present condition, being sweetly submissive, neither servilely dejected under the Apprehensions of his past sins and present state, nor forwardly confident as though he forgot he were such a Malefactor: His deportment did in my Judgment (not without some admiration, then, & after in the reviewing thoughts of it, of the Decorum and suitableness of it to his present condition) speak a well mixed and compounded sence of his own deserts, and divine mercy; which also did his Words.

His Words might be reduced to these two main and excellent heads,

A declamation against sin, and Admiration of Grace.

Agrainst Sin he expressed the greatest Dis­plicency and abhorrency, yea the Sin of his Nature, that Root of bitterness, which he said men took but little notice of: and for actuall Sin abstractedly from the fruit of it, even sin as against the holy, just, and good law of God, and as against God that had deserv­ed better at his hands, Professing that (as in general he had no desire to live) so if the greatest hier should be offered him to live, if it might occasion his return unto folly, he [Page]would not accept of life, and the World with it; And that Sin as Sin, even the least. Sin did make his heart rise at first thought of it, and he could spit it out with detestation, wondring that men made no more of Sin, bewailing he was no more sensible of and humbled for Sin, expressing how affraid he was now of doing any thing might offend God, even in the least. Then (as all along) he was ready to take all occasions of a full, free, and impartial confession of Sins, cloathing them with their agravating Circumstances, to make them out of measure sinfull.

His high admiring thoughts of the Love and Grace of God, several ways he expressed in a most serious affectionate manner, both in generall, and in reference to himself, and his sence of his interest in them. He was much in Repetition with thankful wonderment of ma­ny proomises of God; some I had before spoken of in preaching, and some others, such as set forth Gods readiness to pardon; the freeness, largeness, and unchangeableness of the Par­doning mercy of God; and again and again speaking in the words of Paul, And that such an one as I should obtain mercy! Such an one as I find mercy! Admiring the distinguishing grace of God towards him, that when other Prisoners (though in lesse danger then himself [Page]of Death, whom we then heard above make­ing a noise) were without thought of Sin or God, God should snatch him as a Fire-brand, and that in such a way, making sin, so great sin to be overruled to his great good. He expres­sed his appretiating thoughts of Gods promi­ses, savourly descanting upon them, and com­fortably applying them to himself, saying, I could formerly find no thing desirable in a Promise or any Word of God, it was a bur­then to me, but now that the promises were the rejoycing of his heart. He said, Satan had sorely winowed and buffeted him, but Christ was on his side: And using the words of the Apostle, This is our rejoycing, the Testimony of our Consciences, he added, God hath said, whosoever repenteth and beleeveth shall find mercy and be saved; my Conscience telleth me and witnesseth to me that I unfeignedly repent, and really beleeve in Christ, and I am one of those Whosoever; therefore Christ is mine, &c.

As to his Condition in general, from what I found or otherwise heard, I conceive, there are many things very remarkable.

1. As to his sin committted. 1. That this great Sin was clearly a judiciall sin, the pu­nishment of former Sins, for which God left him. 2. That as it was the deserved fruit of a bad Cause, so it was the accidentall cause [Page]of good fruit, the Lord overshooting Satan in his own bow, when and by what meanes he took to make sure of him, God startled and roused Conscience, which would not with the noise of lesse guilt be awaked, and humbled the Sinner, &c.

Secondly, It seemeth to me very observe­able, as to the Work of God upon him, that it was so orderly gradual; he being first bound up partly through his ignorance in which he had been brought up, partly through the amazing guilt that with an overwhelming stupifying power came upon him; he afterwards by degrees, and that at last to such a measure of clearness and distinct­ness of Understanding in the things of God, had an extraordinary beam of divine light darted into his Soul: and that by degrees, his sence of the sinfulness of sin increased (as I have been credibly informed) to a deep humi­liation, not without horror, and so ingenious confession: And then upon the alone, and most sufficient foundation of the rich and pre­cious promises of the Gospel, he was raised up to the apprehension of mercy, and at last of his particular interest in it.

3. The hand of the Lord upon the hearts of his People, Magistrates, Ministers, and other Christians in some measure evidencing the [Page]thoughts of God towards the poor man, to be thoughts of Peace and good-will: In that favour he (so high an Offendor) found to have time of repentance and reconciliation, who himself gave none to his Friend: In the means afforded him, and manifold helps for his spiri­tual advantage, which he, in my hearing took notice of with admiring thankfulness; Ser­mons, Visits, generall pitty of Gods people, in the importunate enlarged fervency of Mi­nisters and Christians in praying for him, scarcely to be parallel'd in the memory of men.

BEfore I enter upon the Narra­tive, give me leave very briefly to premise, how Nathaniel Butler behaved himself be­fore this Murther committed, viz. That he was a very lewd Young man, being addicted to divers sins, which he himself hath freely confessed. For instance,

1. He was a great Company-keeper, and given to Gaming very much; whereby he gain'd money, and several Watches of Young men, one whereof he restor'd to the Owner, after his Conscience was awaked, in prison

2. He enticed some Servants to purloin from their Masters, and sell the Goods; then would he and they go together and spend the money among themselves.

3. He lived in Fornication, frequenting the company and the houses of Harlots; in so much that (as he himself under his own hand informed me) he judged, this very sin of Whoredom did draw him on to that of shedding blood. Concerning which fact I shall now speak; as also concerning his car­riage in Prison, and at his Execution, being an Eye and Ear-witness thereof.

THis Nathaniel Butler came from Alton in Hampshire, where he was born; and at the time of his Apprehension, was an Ap­prentice with one Mr. Goodday, a Drawer of Cloth in Carter-lane, London; during which time he became acquainted with one John Knight, an Apprentice also in the same City. These two were much together, but especially when Mr. Worth (John Knight's Master) was gone to Bristol-Fair; then did these two young men lie together several nights at Mr. Worth's house, at the Rose in Milk-street; where in the shop, on Wednesday morning [Page 3]being the 6. of August 1657. Nathaniel Butler seeing some Bags of money, he was thereupon tempted to take away the life of his Friend and Bed-fellow, that he might securely convey away the Money which he had now seen in the Till of the shop. After they had been abroad that day, at night they lay again to­gether, the bloody design running still in the mind of Butler; he intending about the dead of the night (for so he expressed himself to me) to destroy the Young man by cutting his throat: Accordingly he took his knife in his hand, but his heart would not suffer him to do it; then he laid down the knife again, yea he took up, and laid down hi sknife several times (so he told me) before he acted his cru­elty: But in the morning very early he did indeed fall very violently and inhumanely on the Youth, who lay harmlesly asleep upon the bed. The first wound not being mortal, awaked him, whereupon he strugled and made a noise (not considerable enough) which was heard into another room of the same house. Then Butler chopt his fist into the mouth of the Young man, and so they two lay striving and tumbling very near half an houre, before the fatal blow was given; but at length he did most barbarously murder the Young man, giving him a very ghastly deadly [Page 4]wound, cross the throat: And then he went down, taking away out of the shop a sum of money in two bags, being about One hundred and twenty pounds: And so with his double guilt of Robbery and Murder, leaving his bloody Shirt behind him, and a Lock of his own Hair in the hand of the dead Young man, which Hair was pull'd off in their striving to­gether, one to commit, the other to prevent the fact; after he had so done, he went to his masters house in Corter-lane, where he pri­vately laid the Money in a new Trunk that he bought with part of the Money. This Murderer abode for certain days, that is, from Thursday to Saturday, at his Masters house unsuspected, following his business at home as formerly.

Many thoughts and jealousies were work­ing in men, who should be the Murderer: And in a few days, one in Milk-street (the street where the Murder was done) knowing that Butler used sometimes to be with the Young man who was now murder'd, went to Butler's Master's house in Carter-lane, and spake with him, by whose words and carriage he supposed he might be guilty, and so caused him to be apprehended: But yet for some small time, the said Butler denied the Fact; but at length confessed, That he, and he only [Page 5]did it. After his apprehension, he was brought before the Lord Major of London, to whom he declared the Murder, and the Circum­stances of it, crying out for a little time for his soul, and much lamenting his sin. That night he was committed to Newgate, and there lay exceedingly startled about the state of his soul, saying often, What will become of my poor soul! What shall I do to be saved! beginning now to see the sinfulness of sin. Whom I may compare to Manasseh in three respects. 1. As to matter of fact; for Manasses shed much innocent blood, 2 King. 21.16. so did he shed (too much) innocent blood. 2. He something resembled Manasses in his imprisonment, mentioned 2 Chr. 33.11. As Manasses was taken and bound with fet­ters, so was he clapt in the Hole or Dun­geon of Newgate, with heavy irons about his legs. 3. Manasses and he were one and the same in this sense, that when they were in affliction, they besought the Lord God, and humbled themselves greatly before the God of their fathers: For this great Offender could often say, He could never be humbled enough.

Upon the 13 of August, when he was ar­raigned at the Sessions in the Old-Baily, he pleaded Guilty to the Indictment, with very [Page 6]much shame, confusion of face, and sorrow of heart: And on Friday the 15. of August, he demeaned himself very humbly before the Bench, heartily submitting to the Sentence of Death that then passed upon him, saying, He had destroyed the Image of the Eternal GOD; alluding (as I verily believe) to those words in Gen. 9.6. — For in the image of God, &c. After his Sentence, he was conveyed back to prison; penitently acknowledging, that he had neglected the good Word of God, and therefore was the longer kept off (through ignorance of the Gospel) from closing with Christ Jesus. But after a few days discourse with several Ministers and others, who opened the Scriptures to him, he began to understand (through the grace of God) the Word of Grace. And though he had many good Books brought to him by divers visiting Friends, yet he chiefly looked into the holy Scriptures themselves, and found very much advantage, light and peace by these following passages out of the Old Testament, viz.

2 Sam. 12.9. Where Nathan spake sharply to David, for despising the Commandment of the Lord, to do evil in the sight of the Lord, in killing Ʋriah the Hittite with the sword — Vers.13. David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord; and Nathan said [Page 7]to David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin. From hence he understood the readiness of God to forgive confessing, repenting sin­ners, though they are guilty of innocent blood.

Job 33.27, 28 He (the Lord) looketh up­on men (Oh that men would look after the Lord!) and if ANY say, I have sinned and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not; he (that is, the Lord) will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.

Isa 45.18, 19.— I said not unto the seed of Jacob, seek ye me in vain.

Isa. 55.7. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return to the Lord, and he will ABƲN­DANTLY pardon. The word abun­dantly, he used to pronounce with an em­phasis; for, he saw (his eyes being now an­nointed with spiritual eye-salve) that he had multiplied sins exceedingly, and that he stood in absolute need of the Lords abundant, mul­tiplied pardons: whereof he had good hope through this good word of Isaiah.

Ezek 18.23. Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die, saith the Lord God, and not that he should return from his wases and live?

30.— Repent and turn your selves from all your transgressions; SO iniquity shall not be your ruine.

31. Cast away from you all your trans­gressions, whereby ye have transgressed, and make you a new heart, and a new spirit; for why will ye die, O house of Israel!

32. For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth: wherefore turn your selves and live ye.

Ezek. 33.11. Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord (here the poor Prisoner would note to his comfort that a repenting sinner hadnot onely the Word and Promise of God for forgiveness, but the Oath of God to give such a finner the greater assurance of pardon) I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his ways and live: Turn ye. turn ye (see the importunity of God with poor sinners for the good of their souls) from your evil ways. For why will ye die O house of Israel!

Micah 7.18. was a place pleasant to his soul. Who is a God like unto thee, that pardon­eth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the reranant of his heritage? He retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mer­cy. Vers. 19. He will turn again (as one doth when his anger is gone) he will have [Page 9]compassion upon us, he will subdue our iniquities, and thou wilt cast ALL their sins into the depth of the Sea.

Now I shall give you a short List of some New Testament Texts, whereby the Lord conveyed Counsel and Consolati­on to this doubting staggering poor Wretch.

Matth. 18.11. — For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

Joh. 3.14, 15, 16. And as Moses lifted up the Serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whosoever be­leeveth in him, should not perish but have eter­nal life; For God SO loved the WORLD, that whosoever (this word [whosoever] he he spake with joy) beleeveth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life: Now (saith Nathaniel Butler) I am one to whom this word speaketh; and therefore God gave the Lord Jesus Christ for my soul; I beleeve in him, and therefore I trust to live eternally through him, according to the gracious terms of the Gospel.

John 6.37. —and him that cometh to me I will in no wise (here he would repeat and reiterate these words in NO WISE CAST [Page 10]OƲT, in NO WISE, in NO WISE) cast out:

1 Tim. 1.15. This a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.

1 Tim. 2.5, 6. For there is one God, and one Mediator between God and Men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave himself a ransom for all to be testified in due time.

In hearing, reading, and conferring upon these (and many more) Scriptures, he would often say to me and others, these are good Scriptures, brave Scriptures, are they not brave Scriptures? He would make very di­ligent and frequent search into his soul, con­cerning the sincerity of his sorrow, and would not easily beleeve that his repentance was true, or that he had right to the precious promises of the Gospel. But by much speak­ing to him by many good people, that he would applie Christ, and also by seeking un­to God for a spirit of Faith for him, he did begin to act a faith of recumbency and ad­herence, being (as he often said) perswaded that the Lord Jesus Christ was able to save to the uttermost, and willing to save such as come unto God by him; yet he could not come up to that full assurance of hope and [Page 11]confidence, as he desired, and we also desired heartily on his behalf. So that sometimes he would break forth and say, How can I that have been gurlty of all sins whatsoever (al­most) as Murder, Fornication, Theft, &c. chal­lenge or apply a pardon? He was much afraid of running upon either of these two Rooks, that is, presumption or despair; I told him that diffidence and despair was the strongest presumption against God, saying to him, Is it not presumption for a man to dis: obey God, and not to beleeve him? Now the command of God in his glorious Gospel is, that men weary of, and heavy laden with sins should come to Christ, that they might find rest to their souls. The design of God (said I) in the Scriptures is not to give some feeble weak hope of pardon, but a lively hope, and a firm expectation of salvation, to all that mourn, and really repent. Which so wrought upon him that for the space of some daies before his suffering death, it pleased the God of all comfort to give him joy and con­solation, and sometimes strong consolation, insomuch that he would at times express very great inward gladness, which all that knew his former mournings were glad to see, and glorified God for giving him the joy of his [Page 12]salvation; for he was so satisfied concerning the favour and mercy of God towads him in Jesus Christ, that he rather now desired death then feared it: as seeing death through Jesus Christ without a sting.

On the Lords Day towards evening the Lord Mayor (to whose Conference I refer you) went the third and last time to visit him (for the next day he was to die) and my Lords advice very much refreshed his spi­rit, it being his Lordships design to speak of Heaven, with the glory and joy of that King­dom, and to establish the Prisoners thoughts thereon.

After his Lordship had left him, he seem­ed to be very chearful in his spirit, blessing God, that he should put it into his Lordships heart to condescend so far as to pray, and confer with such a despicable poor wretch as he was, heartily thanking his Lordship for his abundant love.

That night being his last night, I kept him company in Newgate, so did divers others; continuing with him in the Dungeon, or Hole (for so the Keepers call it) till towards midnight, conferring with him, and endea­vouring to comfort him to the end; he de­lighted all the time of his Imprisonment, in [Page 15]Christian Company, and spiritual Discourses; but in his last night he was very much carri­ed forth to spend himself about spiritual things: So that we judged it meet to leave him alone a while, lest being altogether with­out rest and refreshment in his body, he might thereby be made unfit for the service of the next day, intending then to declare what the Lord had done for him, and to speak also by way of Counsel to those that came to see his execution.

When we had withdrawn for two or three hours from him into the Lodge, (some of us observing in the mean time that he did slum­ber, and as we supposed that he slept also) then we all returned to him, he lying cover­ed upon the Bed in his cloaths; when we came again about him, he raised up himself, and fell afresh to his former good Dis­course.

Then I sat down by him, and did read the 14 verse of the 51 Psalm, Deliver me from blood-guiltiness O God, thou God of my salva­tion; and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. I then divided the Verse into these two parts:

• 1. Davids prayer, Deliver me from blood-guiltiness, O God, &c.
• 2. Davids promise and engagement to [Page 16]God upon the granting of his desire, And my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

Then I made these Observations from the words of David, Viz.

1. Obs. Not only a wicked unregenerate man, but a gracious godly man may (possibly) commit a most horrid murther. David was blood-guilty.

2. Obs. The sin of Murther is a very dan­gerous sin where-ever it is found: Deliver; [now that word implyeth danger, Deliver me,] if David murther, he is in danger of damnation.

3. Obs. 3. Prayer is a work for a person guilty of blood; Deliver me; this David said by way of desire and supplication, yea most of this Psalm sets forth Davids prayer which was preferred upon the account of his blood­shed. Prayer is the best way to obtain de­liverance from blood-guiltiness.

4. Obs. From those words, (O God, thou God of my salvation) that, There is salvation in God for men that have shed blood, if those men become penitent and beg that sal­vation.

This Note did refresh Nathaniel very much.

5. Obs. From the Promise. And my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness, that men who know what it is to have the guilt of sin [Page 17](guilt of blood or any other sin) taken away, will certainly sing aloud of Gods righteous­ness, faithfulness, truth.

And indeed this poor man did magnifie God and sing aloud of his righteousness, making mention of his, and his only; he de­sired us to sing Psalms several times with him, and to rejoyce with him, which also we did.

About five a clock he fell into such a rap­ture and extasie of consolation as I never saw, nor (I beleeve) any of my fellow-Spe­ctators; for he would shout for joy that the Lord should look on such a poor vile crea­ture as he was: He often cried out, and made a noise, and indeed did not know how to ex­press, and signifie fully enough his inward sense of Gods favour, saying, Must he be an heir, an heir of God, and a joynt-heir with Je­sus Christ, a fellow Citizen with the Saints, &c. He could not bear such a glorious dis­covery. Now that his joy was right Evan­gelical joy, appeareth thus, in that mourning and bitterness went before it; yea, he rejoy­ced with trembling, and could exceedingly often say that he would yet have a deeper, and a more thorow sense of sin; he could never be sufficiently abased before the Lord.

Now the time was at hand that he should be carried forth to Execution, but he thought it was not neer enough; for he asked several times, What a clock is it? I demanded why he enquired so concerning the time of the day? Would you gladly die? said I. Yes, yes, saith he, I desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ which is best of all. About seven the Coach came to carry him away; the Kee­per knockt off his Irons, and now he was a freeman indeed; for the hand of Grace had before this time taken away the Fetters and Bolts about his Spirit and Conscience. I went with him in the Coach, and by the way his great desire was as he passed through the Streets to fix his heart more fully on God, and to think with more intention and firm­ness of minde upon the riches, the unsearch­able riches of Grace. In a short time ha­ving passed through many thousands of peo­ple, many of whom prayer for his soul, and shewed compassion otherwise to him; he came under the Gibbet which stood in Cheapside just over against the end of Milk-street, where he had done the murder, he went up the Ladder, the Executioner standing above him, and I below upon the Ladder: When he was tied to the Gibbet, he began to speak to the people, having a Speech writ­ten, [Page 21]which he purposed to have read through; A true Copie whereof followeth verbatim.

After he had read some part of this Speech, the people pressing and making a noise, I told Mr. Sheriff Milner, that I humbly conceived it best for the Malefactor to forbear reading any further, the people not being able to hear because of the noise, and that he should rather speak briefly from his own breast with­out book; whereunto Mr. Sheriff consented, and the Prisoner put up his written Speech, and spake then with a very loud voice, and with abundance of tears, to this effect:

That he would humbly desire the Magistrates of London to look after the suppression of Popish Priests and Jesuites; for some of the Popish party had been with him in prison, perswading him (but in vain) to die in the Roman Catholique Religion. Then he addressed himself to Masters and Servants, advising and pres­sing them strongly to be both very watchful and careful in their several ca­pacities; Masters to look well after their Servants, and Servants to serve their Masters in singleness of heart; admonish­ing and exhorting all men to fear the [Page 35]Lord, saying, If you love your souls, leave off evil ways, and be warned by mine ex­ample: But if ye will keep your sins, and hope for pardon, God will keep his pardon, and you shall keep your sins.

Having finished his Speech, he then called on the Lord by Prayer, intreating the people to join with him: He prayed with an ele­vated voice, and with many tears, this Prayer following.

He then desir'd me, as I stood upon the Ladder, to pray for him; which I also did, he joining therein very solemnly. I then having done prayer, asked him how he did? He told me, he doubted not of doing well; he laid all behind him, and would go to Christ alone for life and salvation; saying, Now I am lanching into the Ocean of Eternity! Then he delivered to me the written Speech, desiring the Executioner to forbear Turning him off, till he lifted up his hands and said, Lord Jesus receive my soul! I then took him by the hands, and took my leave of him. After he had stood still a little while in a way of Ejaculations, with his Cap over his eyes; he lifted up his hands, and said the words aforesaid: Then the Executioner did his office, and he was a dead man in a few mo­ments: And in a few moments more, who knows which of us will not be dead men also? Oh consider therefore, all you that yet are alive, the following Admonition.

HAving by the Providence of God upon due occasion and call, bin with N. B. as an eye & Ear witness (among others) of the won­derfull grace of God to him in his last dayes, [Page 70]to the rejoycing of my heart; and being de­sired and prest to contribute some thing to the Narrative by those worthy persons con­cerned in the publication thereof, I shall do it very briefly, according to my best know­ledge and remembrance.

My first address unto him was, to know what serious sense he had of his hainous sin, and his soules condition?

In answer to which, he did in a very mourn­full manner, largely lay open the strong con­victions he had upon his conscience of the sinfulness and damnableness of his sin, ennu­merating (himselfe) the several aggravating circumstances thereof with the time and manner of his conviction, which began not untill his imprisonment and fetters began. For albeit he was followed and filled (as he said) with distraction, amazement, and dis­quietment, from the time of the fact, making him restless in all places; Yet he told me he had no solid conviction of his sin, untill he came to be alone in his Chaines, like Ma­nasseh, 2 Chron. 33 11.12. his prejudgment of the sentence of death, brought in the thoughts of an eternall after-estate, and then said he, my conscience was enlightned and a wakened to see my self in the glass of Gods law, and under the judgment of eternal death, [Page 71]which wrought such horror, consusion, and astonishment, that made me cry out in the bitterness of my soule, as one under the wrath and tertors of the Almighty; Moreover said he, the thoughts of this second and after­death of my poor soule, did blot out of my remembrance the death which was approach­ing.

Hereupon I began further to apply to him after this manner, That in this your present condition, there are two things of greatest con­cernment to your soule. First, that you be rightly regulated in your repentance. Se­condly, rightly directed the way of beleeving in Christ. I shall endeavor to make both plain and practicable.

1. Not to swell the Narrative with the re­hearsall of what I offered him about a true and right conviction of sin, (not of this notorious sin only, but of others also,) and the corrupt root and fountain from whence all sprang, with the nature and necessity of a Gospel-re­pentance, pressing seriousness and sincerity upon him, this not being a time to Trifle, much less to dissemble, about the weighty concernments of his soule, a false and a faigned repentance being as bad as the sin it self, with more the like, as occasion was offered.

N. B. Answers very sensibly, in these and [Page 72]such like words following not in a continued discourse, but in an Intercourse of speech.

N. B. Oh saith he, not only this one hay­nous sin, but multitudes of other sins, are set in order before me, as well small as great; and the smallest appeareth great to me, as being against a holy God and an infinite good; I never thought such things to be sins, which I now see to be sins. Oh what an ignorant dead Creature was I before! I now apprehend the filthiness, and feele the hardness of my heart; my heart is discovered to the very bot­tome; the whole trade and course of my life is brought to my remembrance, (and wring­ing his hands the most of the time) Oh now saith he, I discerne I was in a miserable and damnable condition before I committed this foule fact. Others think themselves in a happy condition because they are not under the guilt of my sin, and under the same sentence, but alas they are lamentably mistaken, as I also was. Now do I apprehend the sinfulness of my thoughts and secret immaginations, as wel as outward actions: And all this and much more exprest with such a manner and measure of earnestness, as did apparantly signifie, that the two-edged Sword had past and pierced through the very powers of his soule, discern­ing (and abilitating him to discerne) the in­ward [Page 73]thoughts and intents of his heart. Oh saith he I dare not lessen my sins, nor exten­uate my great sin, they are against the righte­ous law and holy nature of God; and fre­quently in our discourse he would intermix this speech of Davids, with hands wringing, and strong affection, against thee O Lord have I sinned, against thee, even thee, O Lord, have I sinned and done wickedly, and Lord Pardon mine iniquity, for its exceeding great. Psal. 25.11. And when I proceeded upon the parts of repentance, and contrition as one great branch of it, he said. That he did heartily repent to his utmost as before the Lord; and did hope the Lord would break him more. Oh saith he, its the griefe of my heart I can grieve no more, and though my heart is bro­ken, yet I am sensible of hardness yet remain­ing (and by way of concession to my words) saying, Oh, its not a time to Trifle indeed. I know my heart is deceitfull, but I desire nothing more then a through and faithful dis­covery of the deceitfulness of my heart by all that come to mee, that I might not mistake and lose my soule; and amongst other deceits I desire to avoid this of resting upon any re­pentance of mine, but upon Christ only for salvation: but I hate sin heartily, not only for that it hath brought mee to this misery, but [Page 74]also for its filthy nature; and because against a holy and mercifull God.

2. The second thing I endeavoured to man­nage, was, the possibility of pardon and salva­tion, notwithstanding the magnitude and mul­titude of his sins, which when I began to speake, his heart was raised to an earnest ex­pectation and attention, rejoycing to think there might be a dore of hope I proceeded to three or four considerations to evidence his sin pardonable, and his soule salvable. First, because there was more grace in God to for­give, and more vertue in the blood of Christ to save, then was in his sin to damne him. Secondly, because God in the Gospel had de­termined all sins of all sorts pardonable, ex­cept only [the sin] against the holy spirit, Math. 12.31. 1 John 5.16. which for sun­dry reasons he could not possibly be guilty of; this I did inculcate the more, that he might sted fastly and firmely beleeve the record and testimony hereof, before he went further, unto which he did profess a full and sound assent, gathering herefrom hopes that he might be saved, and exulted in those hopes.

Thirdly, that God had recorded eminent examples in his word of shewing his mercy, to such sinners who had committed the same sin, [Page 75]and that with a higher hand, viz. Manasseh. 2 Kings 21.16. compared with 2 Chron. 33, 11, 12, 13. I did endeavor to enforce the Parallel, about the meanes and manner of Gods humbling, by the same fetters of afflicti­on; upon which he said, Oh I bless God for this affliction, I bless God that I was discove­red and taken; I might have run out my course in sin, and directly to hell, had not God taken this course with me. Oh I would not exchange my present imprisonment with my former liberty in sin for all the world. I hinted also the Murder of David in the matter of Ʋriah, and Davids prayer again, Psal. 25.11. which he said Mr. Samuel Jacombe of Lumbard Stret had preacht on in the Prison, which did much help his hopes, and he voluntarily called to remembrance the Jewes who mur­dered Christ, Acts 2.36.37.38. and made a comfortable improvement thereof.

Fourthly, I alledged that the Gospell did pronounce and proclaim pardon of sin; and eternal salvation upon true repentance, and beleeving on the Lord Jesus Christ; and there was no visible barr to exclude him more then any other in world: the substance of this faith lying in this, that if upon the sight of his lost condition by sin, and upon a firme assent to the record of God concerning his sons being [Page 76]an only and al-sufficient Saviour, he could but cast himself upon the mercy of God, and roule his sinfull sincking soule upon the Lord Jesus as a foundation, heartily hateing sin, and abhorring himself, and cleaving to Christs righteousness, he should be certainly and un­doubtedly saved, according to Mat 11.28. Joh. 6.37. Acts 16.31. Esay. 55.7. also 1 Tim. 1, v. 15. hee hereupon brake out. I see my self undone for ever, without the mercy of God in Christs blood. I know not whether to go but to Christ, [but intermixing interroga­tively] is there mercy for me? Is there hope for such a one as I am? well, I will adventure my soule upon this foundation, I am resolved I will trust and hang here, [adding that com­mon Phrase] I can but perish, I can but dye, and if I do, it shall be in trusting upon Gods grace and Christs righteousness, but I will hold fast that word, John 6.37. he hath said those that come, I will in no wise cast out: I do come to him, and I will cleave to him; surely he will not cast me off. I told him that upon this Gos­pell ground, he might soundly and surely ga­ther to himself comfort; and if his repentance and faith (thus farr) were but sincere, he might assuredly conclude upon the faithful­ness of God, and truth of his Gospell that he should be saved, the which I endeavored to [Page 77]make plaine and practicable to him also.

The Lord was pleased so wonderfully to enable him by his spirit to lay hold upon, and embrace these considerations, that his heart was filled with Joy and Peace through be­leeving, in so much that he was in such a brearhing panting Extasy, that he put his hands upon his sides, and cryed out, Oh my heart will break! is there hope for me? is there salvation for me? Oh what comfort is this, I never felt nor tasted the like before! I formerly thought there was no comfort but in my sinfull way, nor no joy but in sinfull pleasures, with much more the like; and to the amazement of several persons present.

But in the midst of this Joy, correcting him­self, he breaks out, Oh what is become of the soule of him I have murthered, to whom I gave no space to repent! I told him that was indeed a high aggravation of his sin, and therefore should be improved to humble him the more; but withall, the state of the others soule was to him a secret, and all his distracting thoughts about it, would contribute nothing to the other or himself; and therefore that he should spend the rest of his time and thoughts about his own soule: finally and principally, Manasseh might as well have had [Page 78]doubtfull thoughts about the multitudes of soules, whose Innocent blood he shed in Je­rusalem; but this hindred not his pardon. Oh saith he, what a mercy is it that I have space to repent, that I was not served as I served him! I might have escaped apprehension, and some way or other have died suddenly in my sins. He took much notice of the patience of God, and of the tenderness of the Lord Major, from whose visits and Instructions he had reapt much benefit also, that his souls con­dition was so much upon the hearts of such who knew the weight of sin, and the worth of a soule, to be instant with God for him.

Oh but saith he, I am afraid of Presump­tion, lest I should take comfort too soon. I told him that as a person might be presump­tuous in crying peace, whiles going on in sin; so might he, if he were not sincere and sound in his repentance, and faith: but if that were true, he could not be presumptuous in conclu­ding and applying the promise of the Gospel to himselfe; nor on the other hand could he presume too farr in coming to and resting upon the grace of God in Christ, but the more he did, the more accepted. He said, I am sure I am humbled for my sins, as in the sight of God, and I would be more; I do abhor my [Page 79]selfe and my sin, that if I had oportunity I durst not commit sin against so good a God to offend and dishonor him; and mentioning that Text. 1 John 3.20.21. my heart doth not condeme mee of hypocrisy in this; and here­upon hiis heart was greatly raised again to a strong confidence in God. I do hope, saith he, (according to that word Phil 1.6.) that God hath begun this work and will performe it to the day of Jesus Christ: and whiles I do live, I will trust in him, and seek to him, and yet not rest on any thing. Some Papists have come (saith he) & told me I must be a Roman Catholick, or no salvation; but alas what works have I to rest upon, but my murder and my other many evil workes before, that would sink me for ever, but for the mercy of God on which I trust! Others doubt, saith he, I dis­semble; but alas what wil that availe me now? the Lord knows, I do discover what I can of persons and their sins, that I may do the utmost good I can in preventing sin against God, and the ruine of others soules: and I have a heart to do more if I could for God before I dye.

Finally he exprest much bope and com­fort & joy several times in a panting breathing manner, and that Mr. Yearwood had been an instrument of great refreshment to him in his [Page 80]frequent Visits; to whom I refer the Reader for a more perfect Narrative; he oft exprest not only his willingness, but desire to dye, both because of that just law of God, [blood for blood] and because he had such good hope through grace, that his sin and sorrow should both have an end, much admiring at his gift of memory to retain all spoken to him, and also wondring at the change in his heart, & his comforts & joys, as being new strange things to him, greatly wondring and magnifying God that he should take the occasion upon this his most foule sin, to bring him to a sight of all other sins and save his soul. The Lord grant it may have the like effect on others in the same pernicious pathes; and that especially yong men may hear and fear, and be converted and healed.