Sir, I ſhall acquaint you a little what a hard thing it was for me to ſubmit to this will of God, though eaſie to him to make me quietly ſubmit, and reſign up all to him, in the departure of my dear Brother. Though the diſpenſation was dark and diſmall, yet I dare ſay from a full perſwaſion, after many doubts, that though it might ſeem in Judgment, yet God hath received him to everlasting mercy: for being weak, I finde he was ſuddenly overcome by the strong man, not willingly, but by conſtraint; meeting with many unnamed inward and outward fears and troubles. Certainly, what is not done in deſpite, willingly, againſt God, but the violent hurrying of Temptation, through weakneſs, not willingly, ſhall never be layed to any poor tempted ſouls charge. The Lord doth not look ſo much to the weakneſs of his creature, and temptation, as to his own rich mercy and free love. Surely thus the God of love hath looked upon my dear departed Brother; for I had experience of him in his life-time, that when he was himſelf, he ſerved the Lord with many Tears, and Temptations oftentimes; and did endeavour to walk as exact as a Chriſtian, to that light of knowledg God was pleaſed to meaſure out to him. Much I might ſay of this nature, had I oportunity, and thought it convenient: which cauſeth me to Believe the Lord hath not looked upon him to take advantage of his weakneſs, to destroy; but to ſave him, according to the multitude of his tender mercies; and being a God of love, patience and long Suffering, hath, I am now perſwaded, though one while I was much troubled with doubts and feares, hath taken him from ſin and ſorrow, to bliſs and bleſſedneſs: He was of a very weak Constitution of body. Truly, dear friend, the great loſs of ſuch a comfortable ſtaff, ſuch a hopefull ſon, and brother, the maner and unexpectedneſs of his going from us, hath been a ſword in our bones, firſt pierced thorow our ſoul; which hath cut us to the heart: Firſt, from a ſerious conſideration of Gods diſhonour, by opening the mouths of the ungodly, to cauſe them to ſtumble at the way of God, ſaying, What profit is it to ſerve God? and are theſe they that made the Lord their truſt? and ſuch-like things. And ſecondly, the Saints diſcouragement, beſides our own great diſcomfort in the middle of our ſuppoſed comfort. I hope the effect of the ſword I mention, will prove the Lords ſevering ſword, to ſeparate more between fleſh and Spirit, Chriſt and the creature.

I find, all that God doth, is to try us whether we can love God as well in the way of his Judgments, as in the way of his mercies; love him in caſting us down, as raiſing us up: in ſmiting as healing, in Winter as Summer, for all, in all changes and conditions, above all: many are the troubles of the holy ſeed of God; and truly did we not ſuffer ſomething, the remaining part of Christs ſufferings would be unfulfilled; which tryal and proof he endures in us: as he ſuffered in the patterne, ſo we in truth: O there is a neceſſity of our ſuffering ſomething, if we would be feelingly ſenſible of what Chriſt hath ſuffered in the fleſh for us, to crown us with glory in the Spirit, and be ſympathizing with others in affliction, and really magnifying that free grace of God which ends in full glory; cauſing us always to extol the Lord, bleſſing him with a triumphant ſong of praiſe. I am ſure the Saints have cauſe to bleſs the Lord at all times, even in the wilderneſs, becauſe this is the place where God uſually ſpeaks comfortably to his people. Though he lead them this ſolitary way, yet it's the right way; the way of the Lord is an unknown ſtrange way, even in the whirlwind. O what a happyneſs is it to finde, afflictions come not out of the duſt, but as we may ſay, they are the finger, the providence of God, for our good: he makes them antidotes to us, to expell poyſon: the more we have of them Sanctified to us, the more pure, like Chriſt: we have no cauſe to ſay when we are under the rod, therefore not beloved of our Father, becauſe ſo and ſo afflicted; but the rather loved of our Father, becauſe chaſtned: hereby we are made more conformable to Chriſt, by being buried with him in the Baptiſme of his ſufferings: The Cup of affliction, which the ſanctified ones drink of, is a Fathers Cup; which they cannot but drink, handed to them for their good from himſelf; whoſe ways are all mercy and truth, whoſe paths drop fatneſs, whoſe out-goings and in-comings are all ſweet and precious to us. The poor creature in trouble, is very apt to cry out and ſay, Is this and this a pleaſant way? is this a comfortable condition? and can God indeed bring good out of ſuch great evills? O it's impoſſible.

Thus I have thought often: Can any good come out of ſinfull Nazareth, out of my confuſion, and darkneſs? O it's impoſſible: with us it is, but not with God, who at firſt commanded light to ſhine out of darkneſs. O what cauſe have we to exalt Gods power and love in the firy furnace! to glorifie him in the fires, is moſt excellent: O they cannot but do it, when they ſee him keep them alive in the midſt of that fire which conſumes onely the droſs, preſerving the Gold pure for his Uſe: That enlightening hony which is in the top of our Gods Rod, doth enlighten us to behold this great and glorious ſight, why the Buſh burns, and is not conſumed. O this honey out of the rock, Gods love-manifeſtations, will ſweeten, and doth, all conditions and changes to us and all Chriſtians. ſome are afflicted for the tryall of faith and patience, that they may have their perfect work by exerciſe. Sometimes, that the handy-work of God may be made more manifeſt upon us, the Lord may take away our corn, Wine, Wool, and Oile which he giveth us, when we do not prize him above all; that hereby we may learn to love our giver more then gifts, and to know the worth and ſweetneſs of them more by the want of them a while: We may be Deprived of any comforts, yet not of the God of comforts; and ſadly caſt down, yea ſeemingly forſaken, and overwhelmed with ſorrows like unto David, and weary of life with Job, diſtracted as Heman, and yet belong to, and dearly beloved of God, as they were: therefore it's good to take up this Holy Reſolution, to wait on God in the way of his ſeeming Judgments, and in meditation of his loving-kindneſs, till he ſhall make hard things eaſy, and crooked things ſtrait, rough places plain, and bring to light the hidden things of darkneſs, making darkneſs light before us. Said good Jacob, (who found it good to wait upon God) I have waited for thy Salvation; and I will wait: and David, In waiting I waited: and Job, All my appointed time will I wait till my change come. O how deſirable a thing is it to ſee Chriſtians have ſuch patient, believing, ſubmitting hearts to the Lords will: Though he kill me, yet will I trust in him: and, I am thine, ſave me: This is a ſweet rolling on God in a day of trouble; and ſaying with Chriſt, The Cup which my Father hath given me, ſhall I not drink it? it's a Cup, not a Sea; and a Fathers Cup, not an enemies; and a Fathers gift.

By conſidering theſe things, the Lord pleaſed to work comfort, renew his love to my ſoul when much troubled at my deare brothers death, by which I hope the Lord will gradually crucifie all that he would have crucified, and blaſt all of creature-props and helps, that he alone may be our onely ſtay and bleſſedneſs. The neerer a ſoul comes to God its haven of happineſs, the more it meets with ſad ſtorms and tempeſts: Which makes our port of glory more deſired, and gladſome to us when we come unto it: The bitterneſs of miſery ſets off the ſweetneſs of mercy, as the blackneſs of the night the glory of the day: I am ſure my brothers afflictions here, were ſharp before he went hence; which cauſeth me to believe he is now for ever comforted: Some comfort came from this word to me; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thy eyes from tears, when my ſoul was in bitterneſs; for thy work ſhall be rewarded of the Lord, and thou ſhalt ſee him again with greater Joy: though thy deſire was croſſed here in ſome things, as Davids was and others; Yet ye ſhall rejoyce together in my Kingdom. I finde this was of God coming in power to the ſatisfying of my troubled ſoul in an agony of ſorrow. I anſwered this voyce, Lord, it's enough if thou make thy word good: thy will, thy unknown will, by any but thy ſelf be done, O Father. And further it was ſaid, That nothing ſhould ſeparate him and Chriſt, nor eſtrange his love from him.

Till God appeared in this maner to me, Quieting my heart in ſome meaſure, I was much troubled touching his honour, to think how he would ſuffer by ſome, till he told me he knew what was moſt for his glory, far better then ſilly I. Truly I may ſay, How had it been unleſs the Lord had been on our ſide! wee had almoſt fainted, and dwelt in ſilence; had not Jehovah our Mighty God been ſeen in the mount wonderfully for our preſervation and deliverance; for which I deſire to Bleſs his Name for ever, who comforts me much from theſe words, bidding me look to Jeſus the Authour and finiſher of our Faith, who for the Joy that was ſet before him, endured the croſs, deſpiſed the ſhame, and is now ſet down on the Right hand of the Majeſty on High. He was oppreſſed and afflicted, yet he open'd not his mouth; learn of him, for he is meek and lowly, which makes him ſo unſpeakable lovely. Patient was Chriſt when he ſuffered: he overcame by patience, as well as by power. As Chriſt was patient, ſo was his members; and ſo ſhould they be like David in their ſuffering ſeaſons: ſays David, I was dumbe, and opened not my mouth: and let the Righteous ſmite me, and it ſhall be an excellent Oil; it will be for my profit; his correction.

This our loving friend, Chriſt, will not wound us, but heale us; when he ſmites, he ſmiles upon us: for he even then refreſhes us with his brook, and well-ſpring of life, in our wayleſſe wilderneſſe, under all our ſorrows and ſmitings; and hereby God makes us to lift up our heads with Joy and praiſe. O what cauſe have We to bleſſe the Lord under our croſſes, for his ſupporting hand of love! truly, as great cauſe, as if he took them away from us. It's a deſirable thing to own God to be Juſt, when he ſhews mercy; and when he gives grace, to be ſtill exalting the Riches of his glory. O the happyneſs, the heavenlyneſs of thoſe ſpiritualized ſouls, whoſe wills are ſubdued to the Lords will in all things; ſo to acknowledge him Righteous in all he doth, and our ſelves vile! O what a bleſſed ſtate are they in, who have no will to be guided by, but the Fathers will in all things; which eaſily learns them to deny and defie ſelf fully, in all they do and ſay; and to eſteem onely of God and the workings of his Spirit above all. O that we might be as Chriſt was, lovely in all conditions, by our Holy ſubmiſſion to our Father! Chriſt we know learn'd obedience by the things which he ſuffered. O how lovely was he when he lay in a Manger, when he lay on the ground, and ſweat Water and Blood; when he was ſcourged, and crowned with Thorns; when he hung on the Croſs between two Theeves; when he lay in the grave! even now Chriſt appeared moſt lovely, by how much he abaſed himſelf thus low. O how deſirable a thing is it to ſee goodneſs and greatneſs kiſs each other in one noble perſon! O what a great condeſcention of love was this in ſuch agreat perſon as Chriſt, who is King of Kings! O that ſuch a gloryous Majeſty ſhould ſo low condeſcend to ſuch poor, weak unworthy worms, to teach ſinners in his way, to doe as he hath done, to ſuffer patiently and willingly without the leaſt gainſaying or reſiſtance, ſuch grievous things! Chriſt was as a ſheep before the ſlaughter: David under afflictions was dumbe alſo, becauſe he ſaw the Lord did it, and not man: ſo Aaron when he loſt his ſons ſuddenly, held his peace: And good old Eli ſaid, It's the Lord, let him do as he pleaſeth. In this ſweet ſpiritual frame was Job, when he ſaid it was the Lord that took from him in the fleſh, who could give him much more in the Spirit. All that they ſuffered, was not ſo much from an enemy as a Father, for their good; who ſeeing how apt the current of their affections was to run more to them then to him, their heart being not ſo fixed upon him as he would have them, but very apt to be divided, and to wander from him, like ours as we are creatures; therefore he ſends afflictions as meſſengers to fetch them home to his Sheepfold.

Once this word came in Power to me when I was very ſad: O ſoul, grieve not, grieve not for thy Brother: precious in my ſight is thy Brothers death, though grievous to thee and others: was not Christs ſufferings much more terrible? and think not ſtrange your firy tryalls; for what is befallen you, is common to all in this life: and the ſame afflictions are accompanied to your fellow-members in the world. Think of Samſons death, a good man, who died among the Philiſtins, and ſeemingly in anger to be revenged on them for his two eys. Conſider theſe things, and lay them to heart; and ſorrow no more as one without hope; but know, all things ſhall worke togeather for good, even this, unto ye: therefore be ſtill, and know I am God, doing whatever I pleaſe, in heaven, and earth, and all places: his time was not in thy hands, or friends, or his own, but in my hands: A ſparrow cannot fall to the ground, nor a hair off the head, without my knowledge. When theſe things was ſpoken to me, I was very reſtleſs in my ſpirit, even reſolving to ſpend my few days in ſilent ſorrow, not expecting any more Sun-ſhine days of joy: and ſuddenly the glory of the Lord broke forth thorow ſome thick darkneſs, bidding me lift up my head; and the Lord was pleaſed to ſpeak to me as ſweet as ever; telling me he would wipe all teares from my eyes, and the rebuke or reproach of his people he would take from off all the earth: he had ſpoken it who would do it, Jehovah, a fulfiller of Promiſes: therefore let not thy troubled fearfull heart be diſquieted or afraid: Peace, Peace be unto thee. I found Chriſt reaſoned with me, as once he did with his diſciples when they were ſad; Why are ye troubled? and why do ſuch fears and doubts ariſe in thy heart? am not I and my favour more to thee, then enjoyments or Relations, or any thing thou canſt deſire? though I chasten thee ſharply, to draw thee neer me; yet my favour will I not take from you, nor alter my love: is not this, O ſoul, more then all, to give thee my ſelf, Who am the Deſire of Deſires, the Beauty of all Bleſſedneſs, the top of all Royalties; even the fulneſs that ſilleth all in all; who hath made thee beautifull thorow my comlyneſs: though black in thy ſelf under the bondage of coruption, yet Lovely as Redeemed, Juſtified, and Sanctified? my ſoul was even melted with in me, at this ſweet and powerful manifeſtation of love, that I cryed out, None but a naked Chriſt: and who would not ſell all, for this Precious Pearl, and willingly reſigne up all even life it ſelf, to Chriſt, who became poor, and deſpiſed in the worlds eye, that we though his poverty might be dignified in the Spirit, and made rich in Faith, in grace, in humility, and goodneſs? this is to be heavenly rich in God, in love.

O who would not leave all, to follow Chrſt for his treaſures of wiſdom and knowledg, and all good things which he gives to his cloſe followers? This was one word which was ſpoken to me alſo: Loveſt thou me more then theſe; more then Gold, Silver, Lands, Livings, any relations, Golden gifts and Graces, men or meanes? and love not the world, nor the things of it: love nothing, I ſay, equall or above me: for he or ſhe that loves any thing more then me, is not worthy of me: ſet not thy affections on things below, on earthly, ſenſitive things; but on Heavenly things above, inviſible glories. If riches encreaſe, ſet not thy heart upon them.

My Deare brother was ſuch riches to me, that if I could have but enjoyed his life, and him ſpiritually reſtored to a comfortable ſtate in this life, according to my earneſt and conſtant ſouls deſire, and the deſire of many precious Saints; that our God might have been more glorifyed in his life on earth; O what riches, what a portion of great joy would this have been to my ſoul, none knows: but now ſeeing by this, uncertainty and emptyneſs in all things below the Lord, I am forced to ſay, What is riches, or the encreaſe or ſweet enjoyment of any creature-comforts, to the lifting up of Gods lovely countenance upon us! I can ſay now more feelingly, Whom have I in Heaven or in Earth to glory in, or ſtay my ſelf upon, but God alone, from whom flows all our freſh ſprings of comfort, joy, life, love, and ſweetneſs? The Lord, I hope, by our late chaſtiſements, will make us more holy, humble, thankfull and fruitfull in every good work of God; and cauſe the ſword not onely to pierce into our ſouls, but even to divide and ſever more between ſoul and body, fleſh and ſpirit, Chriſt and the Creature; That nothing may remaine in us, but what loves, admires, and bleſſes our God alone above all.

Sir, this is all my deſire, to know more, and do, and patiently ſubmit to the holy will of our Dear God in all things; and to have more ſingle affections to him, and his naked glory.

Chriſtian friend, I have written in theſe papers ſome poor ſtamerings, or what the Lord hath communicated to me with comfort in weakneſs, through which I have written this to you, that you with me may bleſs the Lord for his precious loving kindneſs to his unworthy hand-maid. I cannot tell whether I may be troubleſom to you, becauſe ſo tedious at one time. When I begin to write to a Chriſtian friend in this kind, I am always much enlarged; the more, becauſe but ſlow of ſpeech. In theſe few lines you may perceive a little, that many are the troubles of the Righteous, and alſo that the Righteous Lord ſupports ſweetly under them all; and in his own beſt time graciouſly delivering them out of all. Theſe troubles of ours may well be compared to waters, even a flood of waters, as David ſaid, that hath wave upon wave: which though it be our Fathers pleaſure, and our portion to wade thorow; yet this is our comfort, VVe ſhall not ſink in them: they may pierce our body, but cannot run thorow our ſouls, to the deſtroying of our life which is hid with Chriſt in God, who is our Head, which ſhall never periſh: and you know that member can never fear drowning, whoſe head is ſtill above water. Whilſt Peters Faith was anchored in Chriſt the Rock of his Salvation, the water to ſence did ſo far give back, that they miraculouſly became a ſolid path to lead him to his Lord: ſo I hope our late, as well as former troubles will tend to lead us neerer to our deſired haven of reſt: for certainly, all the waters of affliction are to thoſe whoſe faith is exerciſed in their God, but a ſhort Compendious way to Communion and fellowſhip with the Father and the Son in the Spirit, which is beſt of all; better then life, as David ſaid; who had, as we have, freſh troubles often, and freſh mercies; freſh Temptations, and freſh deliverances: what ſaid good David, when he had deviated and gone aſtray like a loſt ſheep? Before I was afflicted I went astray; but now have I kept thy Word. Here he ſweetly acknowledges tribulations to be meſſengers ſent from God, to lead him to the Shepherd of his ſoul: ſaid he, Now have I kept thy word: now do I know by this thy ſanctified viſitation, of a truth, that I am thine: before, I was a loſt ſheep of the houſe of Iſrael. All our afflictions, inward and outward, in our ſelves or in the world, 'twill appear to be onely but the corrections of an indulgent Father, for our profit, in the end; to make us rich in God, though poor in our ſelves. In the mean time, the good Lord endue us with Power from on High, whereby we may poſſeſs our ſouls with Patience, till the time of refreſhing from on High ſhall Viſit us; till he who changes times and ſeaſons, changes hearts and conditions with us. Truly if the Poor Creature could change, or any ways help it ſelf, or have any reliefe or help from any broken reed, or ciſterne, beſides the Lord the living Fountain: how would it do, as Iſrael of old did, run from God to them, adoring it ſelf, and Idolizing the creature, men and means, more then admiring the Lord in them, above them? Truly our natures are too apt to this: for let the Lord but open a little of himſelf to us in any thing or way, we are Readyer to be taken with it then him; like ſome, who looke more at the Diſh, then the Meate in it. How apt (let experience ſpeake) are we to take up our reſt in ſomething below our reſt, and not look up higher to the Fountain from whence all our freſh ſprings of comfort floweth? therefore our God ſeeing this not good for us, in wiſdom and love dries up all Cisternes and Pools when it's thus with us, that nothing we run to the creature for in need, may yeild us ſatisfaction, below himſelf; leſt We ſhould rob him of his glory, and give it to ſomething below himſelf, which is not worthy of our heart-love: and his jealouſie is ſuch, that he will not give his glory to another, nor his praiſe to any thing or Idol, but himſelf. To this end therefore he imbitters every thing in the world to us, to wean us from her ſhadowy delights; like loving mothers, who wean their children from the breſt, which is ſo ſweet and dear to them: even thus (as I may ſay) doth God our loving Father with his beloved children, make every thing vile to them, that he alone may be the preciouſneſs of his Saints, and all things nothing in compariſon, that he alone may be their All in all, above all; their onely boaſt and glory.

Before this glorious diſcovery of love, I was like another creature, running like Iſrael of old, from Mountain to Hill, and Hill to Mountain; from men to meanes, from means to men: I was, like the Spouſe, reſtleſs in my ſpirit; which made me to ſend my ſpiritual ſenſes all abroad to ſeek Chriſt, as I thought; but truely I found him not in any thing or place, ſave in denying me that ſoul-comfort which I ſought for: all my ſeeking was like Maries at the Sepulchre, forſaking all things for him, as I thought; whom if I could but have found, in my way and time, I ſhould have thought I had found enough; being led forth to ſeek The true God in an Ignorant way; being blinded with Ignorance; I asked every thing below him, ſenſitive things: I asked the Earth, the Sea, and the great Deeps, and the Windy Aire, with the Dwellers therein; alſo the Sun, Moon, and Stars, leſſer and greater; knowing and unknowing creatures; and I found they all anſwered me with one voyce, We be not thy God; ſeek him, O ſeeker, above us: Thou art but deceived in us; we are onely by him made and upheld; he is Lord over us: this was without. Then I went home, and ſaid to all that were about the doors of my fleſh, Tell ye, my familiars, what ye know of God; O tell me ſomewhat of him whom my ſoul longeth after: and they cryed out alſo to me, We be not thy God; it's he hath made us, not we our ſelves. Notwithſtanding all theſe denyals, being ſoul-reſtleſs ſtill, I asked further, even the whole world in general, if it were not my Saviour, and could deliver me from the bondage of corruption; and it anſwered me very powerfully, I am not, but I am by him: he whom thou ſeekeſt for in me, even he made me: above me muſt thou ſeek to him that made me, and ruleth all things, to new make thee.

Being, as you may perceive, Sir, a wandering bird, and ſoul-diſquieted within me, I ſought to every Idol which I made an Idol below the true God for ſoul-reſt, peace of conſcience and joy in the Holy Ghoſt: but like Noahs dove, found this not in any thing to refreſh my weary ſoul. Now I finde, that though every thing be beautiful in its ſeaſon, place and ſtation; yet in this reſpect it muſt deny it ſelf, and be nothing, as it did to me; and acknowledg this is not to be had in any created glory on this ſide the Creator himſelf. Every thing ſpoke the ſame to me in this; We be not the Lord thou lookeſt for; but from him, and by him, for his glory. I have found the Apoſtles words true, that many times we may underſtand him by his viſible works in the creation of the world.

In my former Creaturely ſeeking of the Lord, as I have a little mentioned, I found a vaſt emptyneſs in all things: but when God was pleaſed to ſhew me this, he turn'd me to himſelf, and then gave me reſt and ſatisfaction in his love, which is better then life; whereby my hungry thirſty ſpirituall ſtarved ſoul was ſatisfied with that fulneſs that fills empty nothings with good things. O it's the ſweet incomes of this Divine fulneſs that makes The dry land a Pool, and our thirsty lands ſprings of Water. O when the Lord ſhall thus appear to us, ſhewing us by his light the vileneſs and vanity of every thing which is Excellent within or without us; then indeed the ſoul crys out, What have I to do any more with Idols, to ſeek after Bethel, after any thing that will not profit; but the True, Living, Immortall God, who dwells in everlasting, unutterable, and unſearchable light and glory, without beginning or end? Truely when we ſeek the true God aright, we ſhall finde him to be a certain Light above all Lights, which no carnal eye can comprehend; and a certain Voyce which none in their creaturely ſtate can conceive of: and ſuch a ſweet perfume is Chriſt, which no noſe of ſenſe can attain unto: He is a certain Sweetneſs above all Sweetneſs; no perfumes, Ointments, Spices, Milk, Honey, or Manna, is comparable to this ſweetneſs, though ever ſo deſirable; for this is incomparable, above and beyond all, for raviſhing, pleaſant, and ſatisfying: and ſuch an imbraceing is Chriſt, our ſoul lover, which no ſenſitive feeling can take hold of; this pure light of life ſhineth where no place is to hold it; and the Voice of Chriſt ſoundeth free where no aire is to help it; and his ſweet ſavour yeildeth ſweetneſs and life where there is no feeding on creature-comforts; and Chriſts imbracing is ſuch an imbracing, where no armes are ever pluck'd aſunder.

Now when the poor ſoul hath thus found and enjoyed Chriſt in the inmost Holy Places of its new heart, whom it ſo earneſtly ſought for, and now entirely loveth; now it cries out, None, none but Chriſt: it now makes account of nothing in compariſon of him, in whoſe favour conſiſts its life: this is it a ſoul ſeeks when it ſeeks God; this is it we love and deſire, Even a manifeſtation of that Jeſus love who hath ſaved us from our ſins, and is Emanuel, God with us, in all our troubles, ſorrows, tryalls, and temptations; This bleſſed man Chriſt Jeſus is our joy and Crown of rejoycing; which cauſeth us to break forth into ſongs of praiſes and Hallelujahs; glory for evermore to our God. Finding all things dead, and empty to me, when I ſought Chriſt ſorrowing as I have mentioned; I was afterwards comforted in ſome meaſure, being made willing to wait in ſilence; in which ſilence my ſoul with Hannah poured out my complaint to him, whom I know when all failes us, doth help us; being mighty to ſave, keep and deliver, even then: for the Lord never leaves his in trouble, but ſupports and delivers out in his appointed time. He that ſets our faces to Zion, will undoubtedly bring us hither in his own time, to poſſeſs our prepared manſions of glory in his kingdom, to live there in praiſing him to all eternity; ſinging continually form our God to our God, whom we have been ſeeking, like the Spouſe, abroad, When he was at home in the ſecret cloſet of the heart; to which when we return in peace, we here finde him in our ſouls by his Spirit, ſitting as onely Lord and King in his Throne, ruling over all the Powers of darkneſs in us. O for ever happy are they whom God is thus nigh unto in all things; filling them with all joy in himſelf, through believing: O can any ſoul that hath or doth taſte or enjoy but ever ſo little of the Lord, ſay his conſolations are ſmall, but very great, and precious; full of life, love, Power, like himſelf; and full of vertue and ſtreaming ſweetneſs, like Jonathans hony, which revives the drooping ſpirits of ſad hearts, in their dry, barren, ſad, ſolitary wilderneſs-condition? Though this is the Fathers will, to have us paſs thorow this ſtate in ſuch harſh and difficult ways to the eye of ſenſe and reaſon, which would much terrifie and perplex a carnal heart; yet our God hath ſuch ſweetneſs to mingle with them, which makes them very paſſable to his Beloved, whom he leads thorow: for the bondage of Egypt, he can make tolerable; and the wilderneſs, with all the intricacies thereof, he can make eaſie; who makes rough places a plain way for us to go thorow our Journeys end: Canaan alſo, with the high walls and ſtrong enemies thereof, even the children of Anak, whoſe very ſight ſtruck terror; even theſe our God did and doth make Conquerable to his Chriſt, and anointed ones.

Chriſt by his death hath made his people Conquerors over all enemies, and oppoſitions; by his death he 〈1 page duplicate〉 〈1 page duplicate〉 hath brought to light life, ſtrength, joy, glory, and immortality: though he was, as we are oftentimes, put to death in the fleſh; yet he was quickned in the ſpirit: it's this Spirit alone that ſatisfies, quiets, and compoſeth a poor troubled ſoul, when none nor nothing can: and it's this holy Spirits work to lead us out of one truth into another, out of one diſpenſation into a higher; and at laſt poſſeſs us of perfect reſt and happineſs: out of which reſt I have been much bewildered and perplexed in my ſpirit, from the ſenſe of a dead loſt condition, not knowing what to do, or which way to turn my ſelf for comfort. About four years ago, I was very ſick and weak; in which weakneſs the enemy took advantage to ſhew his power, and ſet upon me ſtrongly, tempting and troubling me, by raiſing new feares and doubts in my heart; which cauſed me to conclude that all former diſcoveries of love which the Lord had communicated to me, was but lying vanities, and deluſions: this trouble was beyond all my former childiſh troubles; for my old life was not ſo much captivated, as my new one, my ſpirit: and truely this temptation lay with ſome confidence upon me, that I knew not what to ſay, or do: I thought ſure the ſmoaking flax, that little ſpark of grace was now extinguiſhed wholly: but I can through rich mercy ſay, Bleſſed and for ever praiſed be Jehovah, who hath ſo ſweetly unboſomed himſelf, and unboweled his precious love to his unworthy hand-maid; telling me, that all my creaturely mutability ſhould not, nor could not alter his unchangable love: for whom he loved once, he loved for ever, to the end, and in the end, endleſs, ever; out of ſin into grace, and out of grace into glory: neither ſhould any of the water which I had caſt upon the ſmoaking flax, quench it, by diſowning and doubting of the realitie of my ſtate, and the truth of thoſe precious appearances I had enjoyed from the Lord: this ſmoaking flax, was God beginning a good work in my ſoul, who would perfect it for his praiſe. O how ſtrongly doth the renewings of the Lords love to us, engage our hearts to honour him all our days, in righteouſneſs and holyneſs! who notwithſtanding all our unworthyneſs, and greatneſs of ſins, ſins after converſion, as well as before; ſins often reapeated, as well as once onely committed; yet is our loving friend, who loveth us freely, faithfully and conſtant, even in the height of our unconſtancy to him; as he vvas pleaſed to ſhevv me, by not leaving me deſtitute of his mercy and his Truth, in my ſad ſorrovvs.

By this firy conteſt, I finde, that vvhat is of God ſhall and vvill ſtand, all vvindes and vveather, againſt all the many tempeſts and violent ſtormes of all principalities and powers of ſpirituall wickedneſs in High places; all this hath been in vain: for this fire, though a little while it did but Smoak; Yet it will Blaze, and that with fervent heat: it will never go out; it's God Everlaſting; it's God beginning a good work in the ſoul, who will undoubtedly perfect it; it's God in darkneſs, or glimmerings, who will be a Shining light to us, and fulneſs of Heavens Glory in us.

Precious friend, I finde, all that a poor ſoul can do againſt the ſmoaking flax, or Day-breaking of God, ſhall never prevail againſt it, for it overcomes all, and can be overcome of nothing. O that I could more praiſe and exalt the Lord for his unſpeakable loving kindneſs to me; whoſe compaſſions fail not to his unworthy ſervant, though once and often ſhe thought they had, under her ſpirits captivity. Now I can through mercy ſay, That Jehovah the infinite and glorious being, ſhews wonders to the dead, and makes the deſolate ariſe out of the grave of ſin and ſilence, as Lazarus did, and praiſe him who preaches loving kindneſs to ſuch; and puts an end to death and deſtruction, by his own life and ſalvation: I finde the Lord makes known his faithfulneſs and loving kindneſs in the land of forgetfulneſs, to ſouls that know not him, nor his wonders in the deeps; which cauſeth me to wait with joy for the further manifeſtations of the goodneſs and glory of God: Our God of love, whoſe communications of love are very precious to our ſoules, ſtrongly engaging our hearts to praiſe him: O when, ſays my ſoul, ſhall we do this ſufficiently! When we confeſs God to be his own praiſe. Some ſay of Parents, That their Children can never render to them their due: I am ſure we may ſay ſo of God our Father, and Wiſdom our Mother, which is Chriſt: for let a ſoul give never ſo much to God, it comes ſhort of what is his due from us, for making us free, and joyfull in himſelf, from the bondage of corruption, by awaking and ariſing from under the black dark veils of Ignorance and Unbeleife; ſaving us from our enemies which are too ſtrong for us; and ſo redeeming and gathering us to himſelfe, who can no ways be happy out of him.

Now that we may be made thus happy, Chriſt is a Refiners fire to us, to burn and deſtroy all our droſs, hay, and ſtubble; that we may be made a meet and fit habitation for God through the Spirit. O how ſhould we be content with this purging fire, knowing it to be our Gods deſign of love, in ſending his boſom-Son to utterly aboliſh Mortality, and all that hath Death in it, and then cloath us with life, glory, and Immortality, according to his will; that we may be fit Brides for the Marriage of the Lambe; appearing like thoſe who are begotten of the Immortall ſeed, and ſo changed from glory to glory by love; Whoſe irradiant beames, and ſweet ſhinings forth, makes the Lion a Lambe, the vile precious, and ravening ones meek and lovely. Theſe experienced ſouls, I finde, can more admire, then ſpeak forth the exceeding riches of Gods grace and free-love, and of his ſtrange and mighty acts in renew making of us, by deſtroying the old creation in us, and transfiguring his new one in ſpirit. When this new life and glory, or new creation, is come down into us, or we taken up into it; then may a Chriſtian be called A new Jeruſalem, a heaven, and earth, wherein dwells righteouſneſs, or the righteous Lord, who makes all things new, and glorious; by whoſe in dwelling preſence in our hearts, we come to ſee what all the miſts and fogs of darkneſs were, which hindred the Revelation of Chriſt in the Goſpel, and his ſweet diſcoveries of love from us; which was onely our proud, vile, vain, corrupt ſelf; this is the obſcuring veile; which veile for our comfort the Lord Jeſus puts aſide, as he ſaid he would do, in the appointed time: this veile of darkneſs I finde alſo to be that vile woman which Solomon ſpeaks of: her ſpecious pretences to man in his loſt condition, to bewitch us from the true knowledg of our dear God and his ways, and ſpirituall Worſhip: but he who is our wiſdom and Power, our all, is ſtronger then all enemies, to ſave and keep us for ever from them. Chriſt is our over-topping Mountain, in and by whom God hath promiſed to deſtroy the veile of the covering of the fleſh, ſin, or ſelf-righteouſneſs, which is caſt over all people: this our ſpirituall eyes ſhall ſee with joyfull heart, when Chriſt ſhall be eſtabliſhed above all other Mountains in the ſouls of his people; above every high thought & proud vain imagination, which offers to exalt it ſelf above God, where it ought not to be, in our hearts; till the Holy Child Jeſus is born and brought forth thence, our beloved Iſaac, heir of all things, with the Government of life and Peace upon his ſhoulder, to rule all, as only Lord and King, King of Salem, Prince of Peace; who hath, doth, and will bring all things in us into Obedience to his Holy Scepter; even our corrupt averſe wills, to ſubject to his Holy Divine will in all things: this great work Chriſt accompliſhes by degrees, when he takes up his abode in our hearts.

Ah what a joy to the ſpirit, but what a ſorrow to the fleſh, is this indwelling preſence in the hearts of his ſanctified ones! it's a ſorrow to the fleſh or old man in us, becauſe it's death; and it's very joyous to the new man or ſecond creation, becauſe the life and glory of it: the indwelling preſence of Chriſt is a death to all that is evil in us, and a Quickning ſpirit to that which is good: the firſt work our King Jeſus doth when he enters into our hearts; he ſhews us the falſneſs, foulneſs, Ignorance, and darkneſs, and all manner of evil in them; and afterwards he ſhews us the reality and purity of his own native beauty, and Supernaturall Glory. When the Sun of righteouſneſs ariſes in our dark hearts, we then immediately ſee the groſs darkneſs in us; and are then able to diſcerne aright between darkneſs and light, good and evil, truth and Error, by the Spirit of God which ſearches all things, even the deeps of Gods Counſels, and the deeps of our hearts: ſhewing us the weakneſs and unworthyneſs of our ſelves, and alſo the Power, Glory, and Omnipotence of God above them, who can turn and change them how and when he pleaſeth, for his own glory and our ſole comfort; and make us, of vile, precious and beautyful, through his comelineſs. O what could God do more for his vineyard, his people, then he hath done? he hath inveſted them with his own glorious Image, and married them to Himſelf, or Son, which is all one, who is Heire of all things, King of Kings; and alſo dignified them with the graces of his Spirit, and cloathed them with the Gliſtering Spangles of his Holyneſs, the Angels Glory; and cull and chuſe them from the common part of Gods earth, to be the chiefe or precious part of his earth: his choice Golden Mine, his peculiar treaſure.

O may we not ſay, who have but ſeen, heard, or taſted ever ſo little a glimpſe of this free rich grace, and precious love of God; what, O what ſhall we render unto the Lord for theſe unſpeakable ſpecial mercies! for certainly God looks for ſome returne of his own from us; he looks for ſome thing preſent from us, as we do preſent and future from him. He looks we ſhould live anſwerable to our enjoyments and hopes. Says Peter, What manner of perſons ought we profeſſors to be in practice, in all holy converſation! O how excellent a thing is it to ſee all the Saints adorne the Goſpell of Chriſt in walking, as well as talking! Noah is recorded for a walker with God: O to walk holy as Chriſt did, when he was upon earth in the days of his fleſh, is excellent: we know his life was a life of Sanctity, an holy life; for, ſaid he, Which of you convinceth me of ſin? and he who had no ſin nor guile found in his mouth: nay more, the Devil confeſt him the Holy one of God. O what a precious life was this holy life! as Chriſt walked holy, ſo humble: O that all Saints might walk in humility, as their Lord and Head did; who though he were Lord and Heir of all, yet he waſhed his Diſciples feet; and humbled himſelf to death, even the death of the croſs. The humble ſoul looks likest Christ; humility is the veile of Chriſts Bride: O how beautifull doth ſhe look in Chriſts eye, when this veile of Rebekkah is upon her! be ye cloathed with humility, ſaith God, to us. As this veile hides anothers faults, ſo its own graces, as Rebekkah did her beauty: true grace, you know, ſhines moſt irradiant through the mask of humility. O what are all Chriſtian duties, without heavenly humility! Incenſe ſmels moſt ſweet when beaten ſmall; then it ſends forth its fragrant perfume. As Divine humility ſtudies Gods goodneſs, ſo its own unworthineſs: Better is that ſin which thorowly humbles the ſoul, like David, then that duty which lifts up Phariſee-like. In this the grace of humility is precious; it gives all to God; as Joab when he had gotten the Victory, ſent for King David to carry away the Crown of it; ſo a believer, when he or ſhe hath gotten Victory over ſome corruption or temptation, then they ſet the Crown upon Chriſts head, and ſay with David, By my God I have leaped over a Wall: and if they finde ſtrength to go thorow duties, then they with Paul write Chriſt and free grace upon all: I laboured more a bundantly then them all: yet not I, but the grace of God in me. To walk in love and amity, as Chriſt did, to the glory of God, is very deſireable: he breathed forth nothing but love; he was full of this perfume; as his perſon was lovely, ſo was his diſpoſition; he was compoſed all of love: he was ſo full of love within, that it broke forth without: his lips dropped honey, his hands Myrrhe, his ſides blood, his heart Love: love! O how ought all Saints, who look for glorious things, to come to live in love, as Chriſt did upon earth! O that this ſweet ſpice might ſend out its fragrant ſmell more among Chriſtians, that all things by them might be done in love! We know, ſaith John, we who live in love and amity, That we are paſſed from death to life: ſurely none can love the Perſon of Chriſt really, but they will love his Picture, though very contemptible to the world. O how might the Saints highly honor God, if they were more united in love, and quite diſpoſſeſſed of theſe two evil ſpirits, that of ſelf-conceitedneſs or vain glory, and uncharitableneſs! O why ſhould this be? why ſhould not we love as brethren? have we not all one Father? indeed that is a bleſſed ſtrife, when the Saints contend for the faith; this conſiſts in unity. O it's good indeed, when ſimply out of love, the Saints ſhall be willing to ſuffer patiently for Chriſt, as he did, with a Lamb-like ſpirit: conſidering all our many and great ſufferings are but one dram to his.

To think of Chriſts ſufferings, and of his faithfull ones, Davids, Jobs, Jeremiahs, Sions, and many others, that we are not alone in troubles, ſorrows, and ſufferings, hath adminiſtred much comfort to me, under all our ſad changes. The Lord give us to ſubmit, and ſubſcribe more to our Gods will in all troubles, and changes, that we may ſwim in the laver of his Love: Glorifying Him in the fires.

Sir, having theſe ſcattered Meditations upon my ſpirit at preſent, I was moved to communicate them to you by way of writing, being deprived of another oportunity. I hope you will accept my poor mite out of my ſcanty ſtore, into you full treaſury, with love, as I have done yours formerly in your lines. I remember a ſaying of yours which ſtirred me up a little to this communicating: you ſaid, As the rich ones of the World Viſit one another, opening their treaſures to each other; ſo much more ſhould the Saints declare the goodneſs of God to each other. Fearing my many lines at preſent may weary you, and being ſomewhat weak in body through ſharp exerciſes, I ſhall now leave you, with all Saints, in the Everlaſting imbraces of our dear Lord Jeſus, whoſe delight is to make his beloved the boſom of his reſt, the bed of Spices; whoſe precious graces doth perfume all our tribulations: thorow which we enter into the Kingdom: and this love of the Lord alſo makes the world, and evil of it, a ſweet ſavour of good, Peace, and reſt to us in the end. The good Lord cauſe us more to indulge and honor the ſpirit of theſe graces above them, for the ſweet incomes of them; this will demonſtrate to the world, that We injoy more Within, then we make ſound of Without; which my ſpirit covets after; and live not onely in the form, but in the Power of Godlineſs; and ſo cannot be led away with the Error of the wicked, or fall from our own ſtedfaſtneſs; but grow in grace, and in the pure, perfect knowledge of our dear God alone. Now the God of love and peace be with ye, making ye perfect in every good work of faith and love; working in you, and all Saints, and us, that which is well pleaſing in his ſight, cauſing us all to walk as Angels among Men, as the Powers and glory of Heaven upon Earth, like the children of the day in practice, as burning and ſhining lights in this dark world. As the Saints believing heart, and undaunted ſpirit is their glory before God; ſo is their unſpotted life, their holy walking, their Glory before men; for when they ſee their good work, they will glorifie their God. Sir, having no further freedom to write more to you now, I ſhall take leave, and reſt, Remaining