Westminster Colledge: OR, Englands Complaint against those that sit in the Chamber cald Ierusalem, alias, HENRY the Seventh Chapell: Being a Discourse in Meeter, in behalfe of Saint Peter, concerning the Power of the KEYES.
AVant, prodigious Mountebanks, a set
Whose very Names confound the Alphabet;
A Catalogue, to call but as ye sit,
Will torture Adoniram to a sweat;
And starts this Probleme, whether that ye came
So late from Babell or from Amsterdam.
An Hippo-Centaure Linsey-wolsey pack,
Scarce fit enough, for Bookers Almanack:
'Mongst whom the most compleated, were he shown
In his accoutrements, (without a Gown;)
With Reverend Harry breeches, which between
The loyns are strengthened with a list of green,
And those precisely ty'd aboue the joynt,
As daily neighbours to the Cod-piece point,
With Rocket over all; 'twill hoy'st the rate
And put the King of Swedland out of date.
An overcast of Nature, that may fright
My Muse, and turn her stomack while I write,
But yet have at ye, Sophisters, for I
Have a preparative of Loyalty;
And spight of all your vizard faces dare,
Pronounce (though 'tis no matter) what ye are.
And first, since now a Lustrum is compleat,
Since ye encroached upon Peters seat;
Since 'tis apparant ye discarded him
As disaffected to your stratagem;
His supplication now is, you may please
Once to restore his Office and his Keyes;
For now ye have unlock't the mysteries,
Of all those hidden and obscure decrees.
As in your League and Covenant ye prosesse,
(That new found Path to worldly happinesse,)
Swallow that Pill ('tis gilded) and your eyes
Shall be enlightned as in Paradice:
You may too sleep upon it, 'tis your hap
Now that your wealth shall raine into your lap.
Alas Philosophers, your Stone growes old,
'Tis nought, but Covenant vertue works on gold;
Then kisse we all our hands and make a legge,
To th'Hen that laid us such a golden egge:
And not like him (for that's the way to loose,)
That (as the story tells us) kild his Goose;
Yet is't not addle all this time? I doubt
The smell and colour bid us look into 't;
Now mercy on us! Chickins one may see
Ith' shell contesting for the victory.
(They look like Presbyterians that intend,
To break with violence on the Bishops land,)
But let that passe; Ile one word to my friend,
Hand over head's foule play, and there's an end.
Proceed we then, next trophy of their Glory,
Is that grand Master-piece, the Directory;
That piece which had the Primitive Christians seen
They had not yet believ'd it could have been;
That tels the Common-Prayer Book is too blame,
And addes new suffring to the Martyrs flame:
(Thrice happy Martyrs! that so long are dead
And live not now to die unburied;
As now 'tis thought expedient, but are got
Up with Elias in his Chariot.)
Tell us, ye Nest of Juglers, can there be
To true Devotion such Antipathy?
Produce the Alcaron, Ile be a Jew,
Rather then keep this worship coyn'd by you;
That Phylactery for a Pagans wrist,
Convei'd unto us in a Scottish Mist:
That trim and neat device o'th' newest fashion,
That so much pick't▪ the pocket of this Nation,
For which their wages was in shillings more
Each day, then they had seen of pence before.
Of these S. Peter seems to give a hint,
Pet. Epist. 2. Ch. p. 2. vers. 1, 2, 3.
And put their Character in sacred Print.
But (make us thankfull) this distorted Calfe,
Came to perfection in a yeare and halfe:
And like an Oracle (though maym'd and blind,)
Took heart to grasse and blated out his minde:
Yet look a little first, and see it prance,
About to th tune of the blew Ordinance,
which makes's believe, that they shall loose a lim
At least, that goe about to muzzle him:
And their estates be turn [...]d into a bilk,
That barre the foolish creature of his milk.
Peace! heare him speak a little (I protest
The very-very language of the Beast!)
But we must beare with that, it cannot chew,
In time t'will learn the languages anew:
Yet see! it stands for liberty, and cryes
Ye must be covered friends, in any wise.
As i there were a difference in't at all,
Betwixt your glittring Temple and my Stall.
The head is most of worth (though Moses loose
With terrour at his first approach his shooes:)
No Ceremonies therefore, fie upon't,
No not so much as at the Sacrament.
But cleanlinesse and decency befit,
The Saints, O let us not abolish it.
If former acts offend, 'tis their intent
To make amends in th'other Sacrament:
Bring here the Bason, is the Babe defild,
Good Parson play the Barber with the Child;
Place him in publike view, in sight of all
But spare your Crosses and your washing ball:
And (that the Goldsmith may be quite undone,)
The Father and the Godfathers are one.
This Babe of grace shall be of more account,
Then all those Antichristians of the font.
More freedome for the faithfull yet, if any
Shall enter in the bonds of Matrimony,
Th'Egyptian yoak is broken, and we dare
Marry sans license or the Jeweller;
Our words are valid, and the Righteous may,
Take pledge before hand 'gainst another day.
Your Feast and Ribban is of Popish rite,
Goose giblets and Sack-posset, so good night.
All this the City plot with zealous force,
As new Religion for a second course.
That buy a mock-baptizing trick so deare,
Their children hardly be their own I feare:
That dam the Ring, and Book, and poore Amen,
That so the match may be dissolv'd agen.
And for our Holy-dayes they were bur vaine,
A counter-plot against the Godlies gaine.
If so, 'tis worth a stipend by the week,
For the Contrivers of so queint a trick.
Yet notwithstanding this, we still desire
Our Pater Noster, and our Creed entire:
Although I heard one lately take his oath,
They were providing fastian for them both;
And thus alledg'd, it needs must want repaire,
That lasted ever since th' Apostles were:
But for the former reason there is none,
Unlesse they feare the Kingdome come too soone.
If these be thus reformed, what intents
A change in all the Ten Commandements:
'Tis to be doubted they will put excise
On all, but that which cryes down Images;
And yet 'tis strange there's none in all that den,
But more resemble Images then men.
As first, the thing whose head's in such a plight,
It wants a cuffe o'th' eare to set it right:
Another like a Crab-fish, you would say,
His back was stuff't up with &c.
A third, so squeamish stomack't, so uncooth,
He's led away with any by the tooth:
One more, that has good lungs, but's discontent.
He cannot thumb the Pulpit as he meant,
With eares (God blesse!) so gifted, that doe thrive
So well you'l think that Midas is alive.
These or the like (if any be so wise
To preach before to get a Benefice:)
He may be sure to see or speak with them,
At their old quarters cald Jerusalem.
FINIS.