FIrst then to begin in priefe, for her hates to be tedious or to use preambles [...] long as our Welsh or your Taylors bills; her friend and couzen Jenkin, [...] Taffie, Ʋp Rice, Ʋp Pew Gravock will in as short phrases and elocutions as is po [...] ble for a man of her calling come to the pusinesse, which as her takes it, and [...] does all her famous ancient couzens and companions in the Mathematicks: Also [...] Ptolomy, Albumazar, and all learned Hebrew Rabbies, that writ and made scrip­tions of this matter three thousand yeares before her couzen Noah's Flood is [...] [...]r [...]ish language: as concerning the dispositions and constitutions of her podies in which Jenkin observes that their be five humours, as Ploud, Phleagme, Choll [...]r, and Melancholly, with another humour far worse then all these, marry her canno [...] well remember her names and appellations, but it is called as her takes it, a scur [...] malignant humour, which is predominant in too many, and that is sufficient testi­monies to have known it by, it containes all the rest of the humours, and is princi­pally predominant in her Couzens when her have well scoured her welsh-ma [...] with Metheglin, it occasions prittle prattles and piple paples in her shee couzen whose tongues and tayles love alwaies to have her motions and figaries; N [...] Blood which is the first humour, is the life of man and it makes man have a [...] colour, and well complexioned.

Phleagm, that is a scurvy watrish humour, being a humour given much to [...] mongers and Fish-wives, and those that dwell neere Billins-gate.

Choller, that is a fiery hot humour which rules in many mens podies, and most [...] her Welsh and Brittish Nation, for when her Choller is moved, then her is all [...] fire to vent it.

Melancholly, that is a dogged and a dusty, musty humour, compounded of M [...] [...]d Coal which makes it be called Melancholly; of that base humour is her Cou [...] Prince Ruperts dog, whose name is Puddle.

And so much is her conjectures and opinions concerning her five humours▪ his owne podies, and her Couzens; now to her senses.

There be six senses which her findes in Jeffery of Monmouth and other of [...] Pretish writers to be just so many, that is to say number six, first the sence of Seeing▪ secondly the sence of Hearing, thirdly the sence of Smelling, fourthly the sence [...] Tasting, fifthly the sence of Feeling, the sixt sence being more dangerous then [...] the rest, which is her wives tongue, which makes up perfectly the sixt sence; for will call her a thousand base denominations and titles; amongst which Rogue [...] Rascall are her courtesies and her complements; The sence of Seeing is most pr [...] dominant in [...] Mathematicians who had need have good sights to know [...] [Page] [...]ouzens the stars by their complexions, as her Usurers to look narrowly to [...] [...]ags, and in her old men who have young wives least her make look [...] [...]ouzen Acteons. Her sence of Hearing should be most pregnant in her Brownists▪ [...]nabaptists, and Round-heads, because her have none of that exerement of long [...]ks to beat off the sound, yet will they never hear wholsome doctrine, but long [...]inded exercises: her sence of Smelling her consignes to her Couzens of North­ [...]ales where it is most employed in receiving the delicious odors and perfumes of [...]sted cheese, who hath a mountain of Couse-bobby alwaies at her doore. Her [...]ence of Tasting is most perspicuous in drinkers of Metheglin, which ever since Prute [...]nd Corineus her kinsmen and progenitors hath been her Country drink. Her sence [...]f Feeling her leaves to her couzens the Citizens wives who for the most part are [...]ftner left then others: And for her sixt sence, which is her wives tongue, that her [...]equeaths to the Tivell if he dare take her for his eares, and so by prosecutions and [...]rogressions Jenkin shall descend to delineate her twelve signs, and to demonstrate [...]hat her is an absolute scholler, and well learned in all the seaven liberall sciences, which be nine by computation; as followeth: The definition or etymology of the [...]welve signes, which hath predominance over her body every day, day by day;

First for the twelve Celestiall signes her do caknow them very wel, and can cal [...]hem by their names, as her shall find them hereafter; But for her terrestriall signs [...]here be so many in London, that her do not caknow halfe of them; Therefore her will have nothing to do with them: the first celestiall signe is Aries; Now Aries in placed upon the head, especially if there be any haire or bestiall signe there, if not, [...]t is very plaine, and also likely there is a convenient place for grafting hornes; for [...]e that hath hornes on his fore-head need be at no charges to buy hooks to hang [...]heir hats on when they are at their great feasts, and braines heated with wine.

Aries is her first celestiall signe, and is commander over the head, which see­meth to be the occasion that mens heads only have hornes: the head is the first house of man, and Aries which is a Ram, and her own Country-man, is Lord over that house, this signe has most predominance over Butchers, her wives and her daugh­ters, and her would advise all her country-men that have any motions or affecti­ons to her Butchers wives or daughters be her maids, wives, or widowes. And so much for her etymology or definition of her first signe Aries.

Her next signe is Taurus seating her selfe in the nap of her necke, throat, and under her chin. This signe Taurus is only for men that have a bul-head, and those be they who do weare out their caps on their fore-heads; and their bands in their necke, yet they be all of one degree and similitude, though some weare but their caps before, and the other their hands behind, there is but little differences or distinction, for those men are still counted the honestest men let their wives say what they can; but our hopes all will be well, if their wives but mend and darne up her breeches againe. And it is a very unlucky and fatall signe her can assure you▪ for when this signe governs her couzens that used to porrow her goats and her [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page]cattel on her mountaines one from another have their necks and their throats [...] ­dorned with a ruffe of hemp, which do you mark, her is the worst of all other gar­ments: men borne under this signe are subject to bigger hornes then those under Aries (for her knowes that a bulls hornes are longer then a Ramms hornes) and therefore had need to be buried with her faces downward to avoid stumblings, and titubations in her Church-yards, market places, this sign is only fortunate and propitious to Gregory and the hangmen throughout the whole world, and fatall to high-way men, who by the malignity of this signe very often come to finish their daies at Tiburne.

Her third signe is Gemini which in her welsh or heathen greek signifies a gem­mall ring, for look you as her gemmall ring infolds and intwines one link within another, but in plain English, it is a close stool; for when her wife Jones buttocks are upon the close stool, what can be more geminating or more closer: so doth your Gemini which has his residence in her armes, because with her armes her do bestow usually her embraces, under your Gemini are borne most of her handsome she couzens in Court, City and Countrey.

This signe is an enemy to all phlebotomy and bloud-letting in any man, but in the Spring time by her woman Surgeon, and so much for Gemini.

Cancer is her fourth signe which is our greek Ancer; which is in English a youn­ger brother; such a one was her when her went to Kenton battell; for when her went away her desired her pay, answer was made, there was none: this signe Can­cer hath her predominance in her breast, pointing to her very heart: this signe was in her force at the battell of Kenton where her couzens like faliant Welsh-men did not run away no faster then their legs could carry her, marry 'twas without shoot or boots, on her bare ten toes as her is a true Shentleman of Wales and a Trojan: This sign is most appropriate to her Pishops and Prelates where since the domina­tion hereof have changed her miters into corner caps, her couzens Saint Taffies the Arch pishop of Wales his breech making buttons, this signe betokens that many Citizens shall teede upon spiders which shall do them more harme then they do her other monkies, and make them break in great abundance all to peices.

Leo is her fifth signe which signifies in greeke a Lyon, now her must needs con­fesse her never saw a Lyon in all her life but once, that was at Edge-hill, her had a white face and her two hands and her two legs was bound together and carried before a man on horse-back to the next market: now this furious beast hath his domination in the back, this signe has his operation over Porters and men of bur­den, whereas these times stand are men of scurvy carriage, her couzens of Wales that had out-ranne an errand, and carry water to her friends houses being out of date, for in the City there is so small trading they need but little water to dresse their victualls.

Her next signe is Virgo which has her seat in her wast, hence it is that if her Vir­gins be so slippery in the wasts as her Ecls in her taile, this signe has all her [Page]wholsome whores and harlots under her, and betokens that if there be foure Virgins above fifteen in a Parish or twenty in a City, a miracle above her nine wonders.

Libra is her sixt signe which signifies in Creek, first a lye, secondly a morter and [...] bray, which put together, makes Libra, and ruleth her belly and her navel, this [...]igne had her powers and her operations over her couzen Winifred, and her Cou­zens Ʋrsulant, her eleven thousand Virgins that were so chast they feared not what man could do unto them: this signe has little to do with maids, that love [...]o lye with their faces upwards, and therefore her is seldome conversant with [...]nne-keepers and Ale-wives. Her also betokens much paine in the guts to those [...]hat can get no victualls, and dreadfull trembling in her bellies, and to her couzens [...]hat feed only on the fat of her leek and the green onion, her being much trou­bled with ventosities and blowing her noses backwards.

Her next signe is Scorpio which signifies a hedg-hog or an Urchin: which is her [...]igne of her privaties or copulation members, this signe is predominant in most men from fifteen to fifty.

Sagitarus is her 8. signe, which signifies an Archer, or one that shoots at pricks; and has his seat in her thigs, a terrible signe here is, and very adverse to her Country-men the Brittains, for her is nothing fortunate in her slights and exercise [...]f her things in running away, and in races, as divers of her couzens at Kenton ma­nifested by wofull experience.

Capricorn is her 10. sign, which signifies her welsh goat or Venison, and rules in her hams or her knees: Hence her Dancers are called Caperers: for they can ca­per without hurting their cornes, which jumps and leaps, sine cornes, and so with­out hurt: but indeed her may be more properly applyed to her heads, for Capri­cornus is as much to say in her welsh greek horns, this sign is proper to all Cuckolds and such persons in the City as love to have their hornes exalted above their neighbours, such as for the most part your Sectaries who detest long hair and love her long hornes.

Aquaries is her eleventh signe which doth signifie in Welsh a water-poet, one who doth rime and make ballets and other verses, for a pot of Ale and a pipe of Tobacco: and so her doth learn her Countrymen to sing.

Pisces being her last sign is most relative to the Fish-monger and her fishwives who because these her two watry signes rule the feet and the legs, can never keep her legs close whiles these signes are in force, this sign is very proper to her Foot­men that run much, and to her parpateticks and walking Phylosophers, and thus much for her twelve signes.

And now her having done with the definition of the 12. signes, also of the five humours, and six sences, and also of the seven plannets, I now begin with her Physicall Obser­vations.

HEr understanding that all her shee-cozens in generall are subject to divers qualmes and diseases, her having been a long time conversant with her shee-cozens podies, finds by her experiences and her skills, that the generallest disease all her cozens are subject to, is the glimmering of her gizzards, an infirmity which arising from her spleen into her mouth, infects her tongue like a canker, making her call her husbands rogues and rascalls and many other scurvy ords: It makes her likewise oftentimes to strive for her breeches and break her husbands pates with her ladles and her skimmers, and is indeed an Epedemicall disease, and raining in most of her shee Couzens: The cure hereof though Gallen hath not set down, not her Hippocrates, nor Averroes, nor Avicen her Couzens, yet shall her Couzen Jen­kin in priefe declare the remedy for that disease.

First when her begins to be in her sits, her husbands shall perceive it by the bending of her brows, then let him apply to her a plaister of good words, and if that will not serve her turnes, let him take her good has [...]e cudgell or her ropes end, and bast her as her Welsh-men do her old goats to make them eat tender, for so her Couzen King Tavid did; as you may find it some where written; And Tavid went in and did so lace his wife; therefore her and aule her Country-men may therefore bast their wives by authority and priviledg, and liberty of the subject: for her do find it by experience and by her reading▪ that the more her do beat her Walnut-trees, and her Spaniel and Camomel banck be basted or troden, the more fruit it will bear; and the women love their husbands the better, and this wil cure her presently, which twice or thrice applyed to her sides. There is another remedy which Jenkin her selfe hath often used with her Wives, which is to take her as her fit begins, and lay her upon her back and tickle her Tuquoques, and it shall cure her in an instant; Probatum est.

The quavering of the kidneys in her she cozens is, when her is full of her lusts and concupiscences, and her much longings and desires to make her husbands cuc­kolds. In Spaine her couzens the Spaniards have excellent remedies for these dis­eases in her wives; for as soon as her perceives and caknowes that her wives are bent to be sick of the quavering of her kidneys, her lets her bloud in her brest or in the bellies with her sword or her taggers; marry Jenkin would wish her couzens to use this easier remedies and medicines, which is when her omans flesh rises, and would go to mans, let her husbands give her two ounces of good instructions, with three drams of the oyl of man distil'd through his own limbeck, a vomit and a po­tion made of opium and her turneps; then let her have a diet for a moneth of her Welsh leeks without bread or salt, and it shall recover her perfectly; probatum est.

For her barren cozens, her shall by her preservatives and her medicines make her as pregnant as her heart can wish, and have every yeer a shild if there be no defect in the capacities of her podies. First let her eat the braines of a he goat mixt with the marrow of a Stoat, or Pole-cat (her may caknow him by her smell and her savours) with the flesh of her monkies for a fortnights, and trink every morning a [Page]pottle of her best and Welsh Metheglins; Then let her get her into a good soft beds and have every night for the space of a moneth a lusty young man to her bed­fellowes to salute her bodies and recreate her kidneys, and if her be not with shild Jenkin will forfeit her reputations in physicks. This medicine is most predominan [...] over her Couzens in her Cities, and may serve indeed for omens of all Nations under forty years of age, whereas divers of her Couzens have had the wambling trot in her pellies, or the dislocation in the martix which is occasioned by much ploods and icches in her podies, whereby oftentimes her comes to loose her Mai­den-heads and her Virginities, which her foolish Physitians in times past knew not how to cure.

Jenkin for the good of her dearest Cozens hath found out the medicines that will restore her to her Virginities, which is, her must take a peck of Ferne-sut ga­thered on Midsummer night, with two ounces of Moon-shine taken out of the river of Dee at noon daies, six eyes of the Phoenix, seven eyes of Argus which her Cozen Mercury pull'd out of her head, the braine of the bird of Paradise which sung to her Gransieur Adam, the flesh of the buttock of one of her Welsh Goats which her Cozen Noahs had in her Arks, the juice of the apple which her Grand­mother Eve eat at the inticement of the Serpent, the head of the great huge fish of two hundred yards long, that was taken in Eighty eights with a great ruffe like a Spaniard, above London-Bridge, a bottle full of the water of the Inchanters wells, which was kept by the great Dragons that was overcome by her Cozens Palmerius, and S. Tavid, two yards of freeze which was in her Prophet Merlins old coates, five onions of Jenkins own planting, and six pound of leeks, take all these, and stamp them upon the stone where Iacob slept, and straine them through one of the clouds which hang over her Welsh mountaine, and then take all these her ingredients, and lap her up in a yard of butter-slies skins, and lay her warm to her Cozens bottome of her bellies, and so let her renew the plaister or cata­plasme, do you see, every night afresh, and it shall make her Cozens as found and firme in her Maiden-heads and her Virginities, as ever her was in her lifes, and her may be certain that Jenkin hath made his explorations and experiments upon this medicine, and find it to be very availeable; Probatum est.

Her also does undertake to cure all her Agues and Fevers that are in her States and her Kingdomes arising from her factious and malignant humors, which indeed and in sooth none can cure without phlebotomy or blood-letting, but her Cozen Jenkins, which must be done in this manner: First, her State or her Kingdome must take fifty or threescore heads of her Malignants and poyle them to a jelly in a hundred Cavaliers ploods, then take the fat of six Jesuites that were hang'd, drawn, and quarter'd at Tyburn, (do you mark) and with the brawn of a hundred Prelates buttocks stewed in Metheglins, and let all these ingredients be laid on the stomack of her State of her Kingdom, and it shall expell her Agues and her Fevers; or otherwise, take two ounces and six pound of the long haire of [Page]your Roundheads, which in Welsh her calls Russetings, and make therewith a [...] a-pulsive, with the plood of some Anabaptists, and applyed as aforesaid, an [...] your sick State shall recover immediately without the help of her Doctors an [...] her Physitians, as Jenkin has made divers times her experiences and probations upo [...] all the Kingdomes of Asia the lesse; Probatum est.

Next, whereas her has been informed, that divers of her Cozens have lost he [...] legs and her armes, and many of her have broke her necks at Kenton Battells, he [...] has studied a medicine that shall recover her perfectly, let her come to her Coze [...] Jenkins lodgings at the signe of the Welsh Goat in Garlick-lane, with her broke [...] legs, arms, or necks, and her will make her as sound as ever her was in her lifes Probatum est.

Next her does professe to give her Church a vomit, and a purge that shall make her free from all her paines in the stomack, her must first take a long stick of Stibi­um which in Welsh is called the Gallows, and hang thereon three hundred Brow­nists, five hundred Anabaptists, and as many of all sorts of her Separatists, and then let her dry in the Sun fourteen weeks, and then beat her to powder and mixt her with a great deale of oyle extracted from her Round-heads locks, and let this be given to her Church through the great Organ pipe that is shut up in her Church of Pauls, and it shall make her Church vomit and purge up all her errors and her heresies, and put her into as good states and conditions of her health as her was in the daies of her Apostles, especially when her Couzen Jenkin gives her glyster to make her evacuate her Pishops and Prelates backwards which must be compounded on this manner. First her must take two handfulls of herb a grace of which there is enough in her Welsh mountaines, and mingle it with the surrups of two and twenty Miters, boyl'd in the juyce of as many Rochets and Surplices, and let it be put in at the fundament or porch of the Church, and it shall give her thirty or for­ty of her stooles which shall cleare her podies of all her Pishops and her Prelates, and send her to the Tivell with a vengence.

Lastly with her dyet and her purge, her cordiall and her vomit, her will cure all her couzens that are Cuckolds of her hornes, and make her brows as smooth at the backs of her hands, which, if any of all her London Physitians can performe, Jenkin [...] will never set up her pills nor her prescriptions, her wil also with contection of tosted cheese, metheglin, green leeks and onions, undertake to kill her a hundred a day, and with her goats milk mixt with the buds of her welsh gunshot which is English is called Elderne, restore her againe to her lifes in a minutes space, and a [...] this be performed by Jenkin ap Morgan Dr. of Physgig; and studier of all the art of medicine as her testifies under her hands and hopes that all her Couzens that are sick of the said diseases will buy her couzens book of medicines and repair to her for cures and advice.