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            <title>The cities new poet's mock-shovv</title>
            <author>M. T.</author>
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               <date>1659</date>
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                  <title>The cities new poet's mock-shovv</title>
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                  <note>Verse - "Hearken good people in countrey and city,".</note>
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                  <note>A satire.</note>
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         <div type="poem">
            <pb facs="tcp:163631:1" rendition="simple:additions"/>
            <head>The Cities New POET'S
MOCK-SHOVV.</head>
            <l>HEarken good people in Countrey and City,</l>
            <l>For I do intend to be very witty,</l>
            <l>And <hi>Londons</hi> Lord Mayor ſhall be my Ditty.</l>
            <l>Of the <hi>Skinners-Hall</hi> was this man of might,</l>
            <l>He walketh by day, and ſleepeth by night,</l>
            <l>And with his fine Sword the Bakers doth fright.</l>
            <l>Scarce had the ruddy morning broke,</l>
            <l>When my Lord Mayor out of his dream awoke,</l>
            <l>Quoth he, hath <hi>Will</hi> to the Barber ſpoke?</l>
            <l>His voice made his wife her eyes to unlock,</l>
            <l>Quoth ſhe, where is <hi>Mary</hi> to bring me my Smock?</l>
            <l>With that my Lord Mayor with his Slippers did knock.</l>
            <l>When he was ſhaved, and all things were fit,</l>
            <l>He ſent for a pound of Beef from the Spit,</l>
            <l>And haſtily eat it up every bit.</l>
            <l>Then away went he to his <hi>Galley-foiſt,</hi>
            </l>
            <l>He rode on a horſe, 'cauſe the weather was moiſt,</l>
            <l>At which the women and children rejoyc't.</l>
            <l>Who all in <hi>Scullers</hi> did go ſtraightway,</l>
            <l>For to behold a moſt gallant Fray,</l>
            <l>Which <hi>Criple gate</hi> men performed that day.</l>
            <l>The <hi>Criple gate</hi> men did notable Feats,</l>
            <l>The Engliſh man the Spaniard beats,</l>
            <l>And all the way merrily piped the VVaights.</l>
            <l>The Drums did ratle, the Guns did thunder,</l>
            <l>The people did laugh, and the people did wonder,</l>
            <l>And all the poor Fiſh lay trembling under.</l>
            <l>Then landed the Mayor and his Aldermen old,</l>
            <l>VVith Scarlet Gowns, and Chains of Gold,</l>
            <l>Yet none of them could a Dream unfold.</l>
            <l>Before and behinde were the <hi>Dung-boats</hi> all dreſt,</l>
            <l>VVith Flags and Pendants of the very beſt,</l>
            <l>And in them ſate the VViſe men of the Eaſt.</l>
            <l>To VVeſtward they went both <hi>Jack</hi> and <hi>Tony,</hi>
            </l>
            <l>To ſhew the Protector they had yet more mony,</l>
            <l>For which he thanked them from a <hi>Bellcony.</hi>
            </l>
            <l>Now comes the Mayor to the Bar of Courſe,</l>
            <l>To the Judge he made legs like <hi>Banks</hi>'s horſe,</l>
            <l>He could do no better, 'twas well 'twas no worſe.</l>
            <l>Then ſpake the <hi>Recorder,</hi> wiſe man he,</l>
            <l>At length, my Lord Baron, are come we,</l>
            <l>Your Honors VVo<gap reason="illegible: faint" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>ſhip for to ſee.</l>
            <l>But that the people did throng ſo faſt,</l>
            <l>Indeed, my Lord, we had made more haſte,</l>
            <l>But who can remedy what is paſt.</l>
            <l>Therefore to avoid this miſchief hereafter,</l>
            <l>Pray let our <hi>Green-men</hi> come with us by water,</l>
            <l>They'l open the Croud, and make you much laughter.</l>
            <l>And now Mr. Baron, if I be not too bold,</l>
            <l>I think here's a Mayor worth his weight in Gold,</l>
            <l>Pray ſwear him quickly, for 't is very cold.</l>
            <l>Then anſwer'd the Baron 'oth' Exchequer, and ſaid,</l>
            <l>My Lord, to ſee you in truth I am glad,</l>
            <l>You ſeem a Gentleman proper and ſtaid.</l>
            <l>Then he went on not at all fluſter'd,</l>
            <l>God bleſs your Lordſhip and your Cuſtard,</l>
            <l>And may your Juſtice ſting like Muſtard.</l>
            <l>But now he's come to the City again,</l>
            <l>And home to Dinner he muſt amain,</l>
            <l>VVith Capon-broth to waſh his New Chain.</l>
            <l>Againſt the <hi>Old Change</hi> a Pag'ant did meet him,</l>
            <l>And there a Gyant alſo did greet him,</l>
            <l>There was no houſe in <hi>London</hi> could fit him.</l>
            <l>This Gyant he walked upon Stilts,</l>
            <l>VVith his tricks he tickled the peoples milts,</l>
            <l>And he had a Sword with fifteen hilts.</l>
            <l>He th<gap reason="illegible: faint" extent="1 letter">
                  <desc>•</desc>
               </gap>earned the Tower away to bear,</l>
            <l>VVith all the New Silver that was there,</l>
            <l>But, quoth the Lord Mayor, Sir, do if you dare.</l>
            <l>VVith that he fell down, to ſet forth Ambition,</l>
            <l>For no man is ſafe in Fortunes tuition,</l>
            <l>Therefore good people walk in ſubmiſſion.</l>
            <l>I'th Pageant there were Leopards two,</l>
            <l>In them ſate two Moors as black as a ſhooe;</l>
            <l>Now gueſs if the people had nothing to do:</l>
            <l>At every corner a Virgin ſat,</l>
            <l>They lookt each one as ſad as a Cat;</l>
            <l>For they did mourn for I know not what.</l>
            <l>Before there ſate an old man in black,</l>
            <l>He ſeem'd as if he ſomething did lack,</l>
            <l>Sure he wanted a Cup of my Lord Mayors Sack.</l>
            <l>But when he did ſee my Lord Mayor come,</l>
            <l>He threw off his Cloak, and ſcratched his Bum,</l>
            <l>And out of his throat his flegm did hum.</l>
            <l>Quoth he, my Lord, and one 'oth' four and twenty,</l>
            <l>To tell you the truth my belly is empty,</l>
            <l>To ſtay ſo long at <hi>Weſtminſter,</hi> what meant ye?</l>
            <l>Swearing and chaffing, then came the Cook,</l>
            <l>Quoth he, what a ſtir's here to ſwear on a Book?</l>
            <l>I thought his wits would have his brains forſook</l>
            <l>My Lord convinced by Logick ſo ſtrong,</l>
            <l>His <hi>Green-men</hi> cauſed to open the throng,</l>
            <l>That he the more quickly might paſs along:</l>
            <l>But as if the devil did ow him a ſpight,</l>
            <l>And reſolved to keep him from victuals till night,</l>
            <l>At Soaper-lane end behold another ſight.</l>
            <l>The Pageant it was a very fine Toy,</l>
            <l>'T was invented ſure by ſome <hi>Pauls-ſchool</hi> boy,</l>
            <l>It made my Lord Mayors heart leap for joy.</l>
            <l>Firſt <hi>Pan</hi> with his Horns himſelf deſcries,</l>
            <l>Next him ſate <hi>Orpheus</hi> on a Seat that did riſe,</l>
            <l>Behind ſate four Satyrs with hairy thighs.</l>
            <l>Wilde beaſts there was of many a ſort,</l>
            <l>Moſt lively done, thank <hi>Iermin</hi> for't,</l>
            <l>But heaven be prais'd they did no body hurt</l>
            <l>
               <hi>Pan</hi> did ſet forth a Cuckoldly Clown,</l>
            <l>Of which there are many in <hi>London</hi> town,</l>
            <l>Would I had as many pounds of my own.</l>
            <l>There Prentices were ſet forth by the Satyrs,</l>
            <l>Who often do prove themſelves no women-haters,</l>
            <l>When they run away with their Maſters Daughters.</l>
            <l>This made my Lord Mayor earneſtly gaze,</l>
            <l>Alas his Lordſhip was in an amaze,</l>
            <l>When up ſtept <hi>Orpheus,</hi> and ſpake in this phraſe:</l>
            <l>Quoth he man of might, that rul'ſt with a Mace</l>
            <l>For which the Taylor did make a green Caſe,</l>
            <l>Welcom the Comfort of thy new ſhaven face.</l>
            <l>At Soaper-lane end ſtand Watchmen mighty,</l>
            <l>Which maketh us in this place to greet ye,</l>
            <l>Who are the chief Watchmen of our City</l>
            <l>For I know no man, as I am a Sinner,</l>
            <l>Fitter then you who are a Skinner,</l>
            <l>To be our Cities <hi>Wakefield Pinner;</hi>
            </l>
            <l>For eaſieſt are by you to be ſeen,</l>
            <l>The Knaves that would get our walls within,</l>
            <l>Cloth'd in the Lambs and Foxes skin:</l>
            <l>Beſides the City is a great Bear,</l>
            <l>And wickedneſs like a skin doth wear,</l>
            <l>I pray you flea it off, good my Lord Mayor.</l>
            <l>Let Juſtice alſo that mighty Vertue,</l>
            <l>Before you go like <hi>Green men</hi> that ſport you,</l>
            <l>With Fire in her mouth, that Vice may not hurt you,</l>
            <l>More would he have ſaid, but the Cook in haſt,</l>
            <l>Sent one to ask Mayor why time he did waſte,</l>
            <l>To hear a fool prate in a Pageant plac't?</l>
            <l>With that to this home moſt nimbly he traces,</l>
            <l>Where Criple-gate men ſtood in their due places,</l>
            <l>With Muskets cock't and <hi>Leopard</hi> faces.</l>
            <l>The Mayor in his Houſe, they did not refuſe</l>
            <l>To give him many Peals to give 'em their dues,</l>
            <l>They valu'd their Powder as the dirt of their ſhooes.</l>
            <l>Thus was my Lord Mayor of his Chain of State ſeiz'd,</l>
            <l>Thus were the men of <hi>Criple-gate</hi> eas'd,</l>
            <l>And thus were the Women and Prentices pleas'd.</l>
            <l>Now Maids in your Smocks, Look well to your Locks,</l>
            <l>Your Fire, and alſo your Candle-light;</l>
            <l>For when the Belly is full, men are ſleepy and dull,</l>
            <l>Good night my Maſters all, good night.</l>
            <signed>M. T.</signed>
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