Antigamus or A satyr against marriage Sawyer, Thomas, b. 1655 or 6. 1691 Approx. 8 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. Text Creation Partnership, Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2011-12 (EEBO-TCP Phase 2). A94224 Wing S786 ESTC R229795 99895520 99895520 152976

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Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A94224) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 152976) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2338:3) Antigamus or A satyr against marriage Sawyer, Thomas, b. 1655 or 6. 6 p. s.n., [Oxford : 1691] Caption title. In verse. Imprint from Wing (CD-ROM edition). In MS. at end: Oxon. 1691. Reproduction of original in the Bodleian Library.

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eng Marriage -- Early works to 1800. 2020-09-21 Content of 'availability' element changed when EEBO Phase 2 texts came into the public domain 2011-04 Assigned for keying and markup 2011-04 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2011-05 Sampled and proofread 2011-05 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2011-06 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

Tho. Sawyer of Magd. Coll was the author of Antigamus following

See A t Fa •• Oxon Vol. 2. P. 884.

ANTIGAMUS OR A Satyr againſt MARRIAGE. 1. HEnce, hence ye Matrymonial tooles, Ye thin-leg'd, pale-fac'd, meagre traine, Ye Proſelites to empty rules, Form'd by ſome nice Adulterers brain; Hence chilly thread-bare Stoick Chaſtity Luſt pinch'd and ſtarv'd by rude Morality, And welcome well-fed ſprightly Leachery. Methinks I feel the noble god-like gueſt, Briskly advancing to command my breaſt. My thoughts, Seraglio-like are richly ſtor'd With the beſt Girls the Vniverſe afford: My wiſhes burn my imaginations glow, And my free choice diſtracts me what to do But Pilot-like, I will attack each Whore 'Till Natures Helm ſhall ſteer me to ſome ſhore. 2. Marriage that religious Cheat, By which man kind their freedome looſe, Shall ne're my uſe of ſenſe defear, Or in its ſpecious Hamprings nooſe. Marriage that ſtate of ſlaviſh drudgery The clog that cramps and galls our Liberty, The blind effect of doting foolery. Let Court-born Brats, like Frogs, compleat Their births, ſcarce born Engender in the heat; Let 'Squires their Bridgets to their beds prefer, Chous'd by the cuuning well fee'd Houſ-keeper; I'le propagate my univerſal Love While the quick-motion'd ſprings of youth can move When age ſteals on, and life becomes a curſe, Perhaps I'le then vouchſafe to keep a Nurſe. 3 Tell me ſome humble Hen-peck'd Citt The numerous wracks attend thy life; What crowds of Ills together meer, And Center in a ſnarliſh Wife. No zealous Drab mad or prophetick grown Or pale Fanatick bawling down the Crown Storms half ſo loud or with ſo ſhrill a tone. How ſneaking muſt the leſſon'd School-boy ſtand With heavy down-caſt-eye, and Cap in hand, And if her chattering Clack one Note ſhe rears, He dreads the preſent forfeiture of his ears: Dare he reply, Stools, Chairs, and all ſhe'l hurle Or worry with her nails the ſaucy Churle. The Victrix-ſpouſe ſcorns ever to comply, Unleſs with ends to ſerve her Leachery. 4 Brag on thou fondling fawning Sot Who art by modeſt out-ſides gull'd Thou blinded credulous Ideot, In meer conceits of virtue lul'd. Let but thy darling Neſt-bird take the air From place to place ſhe'l flutter firſt with care, Then try her wings and prove a wonderer. In harmleſs wanton ſports ſhe'l freely joyn, And with her fellow Innocents combine Till we the well-flown Vulture hungry rome And ſeize the harmleſs Captives far from home. Graſp'd in our Talons they become the prey And at their deaths perceive th've gone aſtray: Thus we brave ſouls to Luxury are fed With the fat Quarry of the Marriage-bed. 5. I challenge all tame wedlock Drones Who the dull badge of Husband wear T' alledge their conſolations Secure from jealouſies and fear, How could the mighty Caeſars luſtre ſhine, Though crowding Laurels round his temples twine Ecclypſ'd by hot-tail'd bawdy Meſſaline? How wiſely did the wandring Trojan 'Squire Leave his Ceruſa ſcorching in Troy's fire! The Carthage Dames well lik'd his manly face, He promiſ'd much becauſe of Baſtard-race Maugre Tar-breeches, Maugre ſun-burnt meene He boldly ventur'd and debauch'd a Queen. Thus piouſly endew'd the Hero fled, Where fates ordain'd and choice of Whoreing led, 6. Curſe on that Graecian * Spinning Spouſe, Who when Brisk Lovers dayly came Was making Cheeſe, or Sweeping houſe, And would not entertain their flame This Idle, Old, Cold, Drouſie, Ruſty, Mome. Was glad to ſee her totter'd* Wiſdom come; Kiſ'd wrinckled Dear, and bid him welcome home. He underwent the ſhocks of Fire and Steele, While Chaſt Chickney ſate purring at the Wheele. But Oh! th' Embraces when theſe Lovers met, The Furrows of their Cheeks with ſlobbering wet. One would have thought th' Hero's long delay Had made him pamper'd for Venereal play; But he muſt firſt the Trojan wars repeat, His Love with too long faſting could not eat. 7 Arm, arm, my Lads to Ʋenus Wars, My faithful, dauntleſs Volunteers, Courageouſly withſtand all jarrs And ranſack Cuckold Mutineers. Thus the old Romans their firſt Conqueſt made, The Sabine Virgins they at firſt betray'd This fluſh'd their Valour, then the world obey'd. Cannot your blood Jone's great Example ſtir, Jove the moſt Fam'd and Grand Adulterer? He, who in Inceſt firſt his power begun, Gave Earthly Empires to each Baſtard Son. We are his Race, our Actions ſpeak us ſo, Nor need we doubt reward if on we go. Sound Loves Trumpet, fill all the Cyprian plain, Wee'l Fight, and Wheel, and Rally up again. 8 The Battle's done, and Ours the day, And though the ſhort diſpute was hot, The Captives will our Labour pay, The Pretty Amozons we've got. This Merchants wife brings ſtore of Silks & Wine, That Gold-ſmith Conſort's fraught with bags of Coyn. All, all their Husbands Treaſuries purloyn. Theſe are the fields we Luſty Champions fight, Our Labours pleaſe us, and our Pains delight; While eaſie Cowards lazily content Themſelves with one a Nuptial Curſe hath ſent. Let the head-aching mortals grunt and grone, And bind their ſwelling Fore-heads making moane; Let Snivelling Mopſa run at Noſe and cry, Oh Dear! my husband I'm afraid he'l dye. 9. May I (yee Gods) who Patrons are To Luſt and ſweet Debauchery, Brow-Antlers on my Frontlets waer, Stamp'd with the mark of Cuckoldry. If I t' Ill-natur'd peeviſhneſs ſubmit, And Curb my reaſon in a Marriage bit, May Boyes deriding at me Turnips hit; May I ſet Smoaking in a Country Cot; Yoak'd with my Heifer skimming of a Pot; May I like Starveling Prigg to Market trot On ſober Ball, ſell Eggs to get a Groat; May the Black, Rude, Companion of my bed Cry Haſtings ripe, or Cheef cakes on her head; May Smiths and Tinkers, either out of ſpo. Or Spight, my home-ſpun Doxy court. 10. Strongly I feel my rageing blood Beat and attempt to overflow; The Channels ſcarce contain the Flood, And Natures Springs Luxuriant grow. As when Nile ſwells with fat impetuous Tides, Richly inſulting o're the Banks he rides, O're beauteous flowers & Plants he gently glides. Thus I though furious and tempeſtuous made, VVill gently force, and calmly Nymphs invade. I am reſolv'd, and nothing hinders me, No Shanker pox, or running Ghonorrhy, Ile on with all my luſty Myrmidons, Straight-limb'd, well-built, with firmly marrow'd bones; Let Deform'd wretches with all Ill humour cram'd, Go Marry if they can, and ſo be damn'd. FINIS.