A FEW VVords to Christians, About the late and present Posture of Spirituall Affaires Among Them.
IT was not onely the Civil part of this Nation that lay under Misery and Oppression before this great Commotion, but Religion also, and the Religious party, had a deep share in it, being most of all troden under foot. That present form of Government, which then was in force, struck at the life and power of that, which it was erected to be a wall unto. Nor did onely the sweetness of Liberty and Propriety put men, that were sensible thereof, upon striving to regain and possess them; But the preciousness of Freedom to Conscience, tender Conscience, which had been so long yoked and burthened, did much instigate Christians to assay the recovery and [Page 2] re-enjoyment of it. And the result hath been much alike to both; both have been buried in the dust of Contention and Confusion. The Contention hath grown so hot, that men have almost forgot what they contended for in both, which at first was not a power to oppress and captive others, but to attain Liberty for themselves and others.
It is to you, O Christians, that I intend a few Words, (to which I hasten,) and that concerning your choycest Jewel, Religion. In what state is it? In what state hath it been? Hath it thriven, or decayed? Is it alive, or dead? Whom do ye embrace in your bosoms, your true Love, or a stranger? What, is your Religion of the right coyn? hath it the stamp of your King, or is it counterfeit? Truly there are so many different pretenders stand up to lay claim to him, who belongs but to one, (his own Spouse, as he is but one, his Light one, his Will one, his Way one, in the midst of infinite variety and contrariety) that he had need have infallible certainty, who satisfieth his spirit with his interest in him.
But I would speak but little to you; I will therefore come to those few Questions I have to propose to your consideration concerning the state of spiritual things, in reference to the many changes it hath under-gone, and the present condition wherein it stands. The first whereof may be this:
1. Whether Religion hath not received a wound in the inward part of it, since this Contestation about outward things, and the outward part of Religion? Whether the life and power of Religion (which was always scanty enough among the best) be not now much abated, and runneth not so low, that it is hardly, if at all, discernable? It hath been the complaint of divers, both Presbyterians and Independents, and therefore may well deserve the consideration of each sort. O Christians! Be not so busie about the outward part, about the dress of Religion, as not to enquire into the state of the inward part, whether that flourish, or languish and decay.
2. If it do appear to you, That Religion hath received a blow within, a wound at heart; let me ask you, in the second place, Whether it doth not nearly concern you, to bethink your selves how it may be cured in time, before it bleed to death? Thou art busied, O Christian, about garments of Religion, for thy self and [Page 3] others to wear; look within man, thy heart faints, thy life is expiring: Thy faith is even dead; thou canst not trust God, but runest to thine own wisdom to contrive for thy self, and to thine own power to effect thy counsels. Thy love, what is become of it? O what a strange thing is love among Christians? Patience, Humility, Meekness of spirit, &c. where do they grow? What is there of these left within, in the heart, when there is such a general complaint, that they are not to be found in the lives of Professors?
3. Let me ask thee, in the third place, Whether the Establishment of, or voluntary submission to, any outward Form of Government, or Church-Discipline, of what kinde soever, can heal this breach within? Will Presbytery do it? Why doth it not do it in Scotland, where it hath scope and power enough? Will Independency or Anabaptism do it? How come so many then to lose the lives of their spirits in such Relations? The Form doth seldom contribute much to the Power, but the Power is very commonly eaten out by the Form. I know men that are engaged much to any way, are highly conceited of it, thinking it would effect strange things, if it were but generally owned and embraced; and are ready to impute all miscarriages and bad effects to the want thereof: but this is but a favorable and self-ish judgment; I propose this question to thee to consider and ponder of, till thou art enabled to pass a righteous judgment upon it; and then perhaps thou wilt be as ready to condemn thine own form and way of Administration in this behalf, as thou art to condemn such other ways as thou now opposest.
4. Let me ask thee yet again, Whence this cure is to be expected, and can alone be had? From whence did any true Life and Power flow at first, and whither is it now retired? Who is it that hath wounded? Can he heal? Can any else but he heal? Who is it that hath shaken the foundations of mens spirits, and battered down the fabricks of their Religion about their ears; yea, even of such as have built with hewen stone? Truly, Miserable is that man, whose life is almost wasted, and dayly wasting, and yet he still running to that for Recovery, which destroyeth him. It is one fair step towards Redemption, to know from whence to hope for it, and to have the eye taken off from every thing else.
[Page 4] 5. And lastly, Let me put this one thing more to thee; What Dispensation thinkest thou are we under at present? Whether have we attained that Light, that Life, that Power, by which we are to walk, and under which we may comfortably sit down? Or are we to expect and wait for a reducement to that state wherein the Primitive Christians were, when the Spirit was poured out upon them, and they led thereby into Church-communion? Or are we to expect any other state promised in the Scripture, and (as some say) experienced by themselves, which this is to give way unto?
This is a very weighty question, and very needful, especially in these shaking times, wherein men had need be much enquiring, and not over forward to settle, when a Power above them stands so ready to shake, and hath so sorely shaken, that which was very likely to have stood.
To further such a little, as are desirous to bend their thoughts hereunto, by opening a way for a more full and exquisite search, I shall communicate some of the workings of my minde formerly concerning these three things.
As touching the first, Whether we have attained to such a Dispensation, as we may walk on comfortably in? The workings of my minde have been very various and doubtful concerning this; one while inclining to the one part, another while to the other: Sometimes apprehending the substance both of inward and outward Worship and Conversation, so clearly revealed in the Scriptures, and so testified within, in the spirits of Christians; and so much life and power also communicated from above, as might very well suffice to lead them on very sweetly and comfortably in this vale of Tears to their Resting place. Otherwhiles again apprehending from light sence, and evident experience, so much deadness, so much darkness, such a vail over the heart, and over the Scriptures; such uncertainty in things that were received, such a want of power within to buckle with power without, that there appeared no possibility of rubbing on like Christians after this rate; which hath made me often wonder, whether we were under the Law, or under the Gospel; there was so much work, so little strength; so large promises without, so little of what they spake within. So that though I had many advantages, both from the earnestness of the desire in my own spirit, and from the considerations that were administred [Page 5] to me; as also from my own experience, and enquiry among such as pretended both light and experience in the point in hand; yet still there was somewhat of concernment to keep me back from a positive determination, even when I was nearest unto resolving.
For the second, Whether we are to expect a Restoration of the the Primitive State, or no? My mind wrought much after the same manner. Sometimes it seemed very likely to me that it should be restored: Sometimes again the weakness both of the Ordinances and Administrations of it, and their sudden death, made it seem to me fitter to pass away, and give place to that which is more durable.
There were three things eminent in that Dispensation, Gifts, Administrations, and Graces.
They had several sorts of gifts; gifts of healing, of speaking with tongues, of working miracles: Again, they had gifts of prophecying, of singing, of revelation, of interpretation, &c. Then they had Administrations, they had proper ways of administring every gift, which were appointed to them, and whereinto they were led, by the same Spirit which bestowed the gift. Some gifts were bestowed in reference to persons without, for conviction and conversion; and other gifts in reference to persons within, for mutual edification, exhortation and comfort; the same Spirit leading them to the use of these in some measure, who imparted the gift unto them. Then lastly, they had Graces, strong, powerful graces were poured out unto them, graces that were truly spiritual, not acquired by their industry, but breathed by the Spirit of Life; such as Faith, Love, Patience, Humility, Meekness, &c. and there is a vast difference between these when they are dropped out of Heaven, and those that are extracted out of the Earth, though they may bear the same name, and carry the same resemblance. The common fires of the Jews, and the fire on the Altar, were not the same, how little difference soever might seem between them to common judgments.
But what became of this glory? How soon did this Sun set! What Christ foretold concerning the material Temple of Jerusalem, proved true also of this Spiritual, this Apostolick building, there was not one stone left upon another that was not thrown down. [Page 6] Who would have thought so glorious a fabrick should so soon have been laid flat! That the Churches, so well founded and setled by the Apostles, and not barely by them, but by the Spirit of God in them, should so soon come to ruine! And since it hath thus passed away, must we not be forced to confess, that there was some flaw, some defect in it, or else it could not so soon have decayed and perished?
And truly methinks there seemeth to lie as just an Indictment (in kind, though not in degree) against this Dispensation, as did against the Dispensation under the Law, for weakness, for unprofitableness, for inability, to make the comers thereunto perfect. What a poor state were the Churches in, even in the Apostles times? How subject to be shaken in doctrine? How carnal and defective in practise? They had the Spirit poured out upon them, and yet wanted both outward light, and inward life and power. They had abundance of gifts, but knew not how to use them towards the edification of the body, but employed them to the building up of that which was to be destroyed.
And it was not only a weak state while it was enjoyed, but was also continually languishing, and soon expired: And all the endeavors that have been to rear up this fabrick again since, either in the internal or external part, have had the like success with those endeavors that have been used to re-build the Temple of Jerusalem since its desolation; before the building can come to any maturity or perfection, it is still blown down.
Such a continued, experimented discovery of the frailty of it, seemeth to me to foretel its death, not its resurrection; its casting away, not its restitution.
Now for the third Branch, Whether we are to expect any other state, which some from experience (as they say) can and do testifie concerning, whereunto this, and all former Dispensations are to give way? Wherein two particulars would be distinctly considered, The thing it self, whether such a thing is to be or no? and the testimony which we hear, or at least may hear, given out by persons concerning it, which is of a very high kind, they say, they have tasted, they have felt it in their own experience, and commend it unto us as a thing they know already is in part, and suddenly shall be more fully seen and enjoyed. I intend to speak somewhat to both these, [Page 7] and that very freely, (for I hope the time is coming wherein my heart and thoughts concerning all things shall be opened) and first concerning the experience of these persons, which though it come afterward in order of nature, yet I shall begin with it, to lay it out of the way; and then I shall come more fairly and directly to the thing it self.
As touching the experience of those persons who thus speak; though they have made a noise in the world, & drawn the eyes of many upon them, and the hearts of many after them; yet there lieth so just an exception against their persons and practises, as cannot but damp their testimony, and eat out that strength which otherwise it might carry with it. There is a greater ground of rebuke and reproach lies upon them, then hath usually attended the people of God, who have always, and that too justly, layn open to reproach. The weakness of every Administration, the frailty of the persons under it, the great boasts that have still been made by some of them, of their interest in God, nearness to God, power from God, and yet the low ebb that most commonly they are found in, hath still given too much occasion to wise flesh to despise such a weak and mixed appearance of the Spirit of God in them: yet this is not their worst, but their ordinary state; you shall sometimes have them buffeted by Satan, overmastered by corruption, forsaken by God, giving up all their hopes, (My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord, said Jeremiah, Lam. 3.) all their light darkened, all their life extinguished to appearance; and this is such a stumbling block as it is hard to leap over.
But none ever lay so open to reproach as these: Persons wallowing with delight in that which the eyes of Sence and Reason (if the eye of Religion were quite put out) cannot but call unclean, filthy, wicked: boasting that they are all, and all is theirs, and yet possessing nothing; not knowing where to attain necessaries for the body: speaking greater words then ever were spoken, but with less demonstration of the Spirit and of Power, then God was usually wont to give out to them whom he called to speak after a far lower rate. How can any mans stomack forbear nauseating such kind of persons? I must profess there is nothing I have met with more contrary to my temper, and answerably more distasteful to me, who have been always strongly bent towards, and in prosecution [Page 8] of exact purity, both within and without, to the utmost extent and degree. My temper hath likewise enclined me much to modesty, sobriety, silence; I have still desired to be much, to enjoy much, but not to make any great sound of what I was made or enjoyed; and I think few can testifie any great boasts they heard from me of that Light, that Life, that Power, that Sweetness, which once I tasted of, nay for a season possessed, but still kept back the discovery of it, further then the drawing of it forth into action (wherein I was not overforward neither) did occasion it. To be, but not to appear, was very delightful to me; but to make a glorious appearance beyond substance, to speak great words beyond what I felt or enjoyed, was in no wise pleasing unto me, or passable with me. And if I deal ingenuously, I must confess, I never found my spirit rise with greater detestation against any thing, then this which I am now speaking of. It was irksom to me formerly to hear men talk of the Spirit of God, of being assisted by the Spirit of God, when it was too too clear that their own parts & abilities were the Masterengine in all their performances: but this was far more distasteful to me, and that which I could in no wise brook, until I was throughly battered, and shewn my insufficiency to judg any thing.
Since which time, I have learned by much experience, that the clay is not its own, but the Potters; nor hath it liberty to chuse its own form, but must be cast into what form the Potter pleaseth, and into what several forms he pleaseth: One while it shall be a vessel of honour, by and by a vessel of dishonour; anon a vessel of honour again, then a vessel of dishonour again, of greater dishonour then before; and afterwards perhaps a vessel of greater honour then before. The same peece of earth one while lyeth common with the rest of the world, by and by is separated for a garden or vineyard to the Lord, enclosed with his fence, surrounded with his wall, for him to possess and please himself with; anon the fence, the wall, is broken down, and it laid open, and made common again: and thus it is tossed and tumbled into several sorts of various conditions as often as the owner of it pleases; and what shall be the issue of all, who knows but he who is all? There are many devices in the heart of man to exalt himself, and throw down others, (every one thinks it will go well with him, and is ready to prophecy Woes to others,) but the Counsel of the Lord it shall stand. Others shall meet with that [Page 9] blessedness he promiseth to himself, and he shall meet with those Woes he denounceth against others.
When Israel is a grievous slave, the despicablest peece of earth throughout the whole Creation, then is Israel picked out, chosen for a vessel of glory: When Israel lifts up it self above the rest of the world, looks upon the rest as Heathen, as Dogs, (it was their usual phrase to term the Gentiles by,) they were the chosen people, the rest cast off; they the holy people, the rest prophane, wicked, sinners of the Gentiles: Now must Israel be turned back, and be put in mind of his own original, which was the same with theirs, (his father was an Amorite, and his mother an Hittite,) and he must change places with them, a parcel of the Heathen must become the choyce separated people, and these must be cast by. Having tasted somewhat of this in my own spirit, having been hurled by might and power into several forms and shapes, and such too as I have been strongly fortified against, and have strongly opposed, it hath made me somewhat shy of finding fault with any peece of clay, in what guise soever I find it.
And I cannot but advise all, who have respect to their own ease and safety, to take heed how they judg these persons. This is no ordinary case; and though Sence or Reason, much more Religion, may presume upon the seeming clearness of the ground, and so grow bold in pronouncing sentence against them; yet it is the light of the day can alone declare things of this nature, and till the time of judgment be come, that light may be withheld. The nature and end of the various passages between God and his people, are many times then most hid, when they seem most manifest: There is commonly deepest love in the bitterest cup, and the purest glory is frequently vailed over with the darkest covering. Flesh hath been always bold in judging, it may now be met with; there may now be a trap laid to catch and ensnare it to its own confusion and destruction. This occasion is so palpable, that it will be very hard for Flesh to avoyd, being drawn out to judg and condemn; and yet its being drawn forth may be but an entrance into its own judgment.
Methinks I see how apt man is, according to his own state in Religion, and according to his own apprehension of things, presently to give out his verdict. This is because the foundation was [Page 10] not well laid, will some say. This is the effect of their leaving Ordinances and Duties, will others say. This is the fruit of their prying into Mysteries and Secrets, may a third sort conclude. But how knowest thou, O vain man, that it ariseth from any of these? or who gave thee liberty to vent thine own Imagination concerning so intricate a passage as thine eyes never met with before? I can tell thee of another cause different from any of these, whence it may proceed for ought thou knowest.
There is a wine prepared for all to drink of, to empty them of all their glory, which the people of God must begin with. God will have no glory stand in his way: Religion is the highest glory, stands most in his way, therefore that must first down. Nature is glorious, and doth glorifie God in its kinde, but yet it stands in the way of Religion, which is an higher glory; Therefore the first thing Religion does, where it comes in power, is, to break Nature, to dash the glory of Nature. Religion is more glorious, and does more glorifie God; but withall, being more glorious, it stands more in the way of a greater glory, then the glory of Nature does; and therefore the present controversie is more sharp against it, then against Nature.
There is a time to set up, and a time to pull down; a time to raise, and a time to level: And that which is truly excellent and glorious in its kinde and degree, must vail and dye, when the season of the discovery of a greater glory draws nigh. And the people of God speak very lamentably of it, as a thing they did not look for, as a thing they thought to have avoyded, but were forced unto by a Power which could not be resisted; Thou hast made us to drink the wine of astonishment. There is a wine of Gods mingling that will astonish, a wine made by his art and skill purposely to astonish, which can without fail effect it; a wine that will quickly lay the Creature dead drunk, and strip him as naked (if not more) of all the knowledg of God, yea, of all spiritual excellencies, as a man drunk after the common natural way is of the knowledg of natural things, and of natural excellencies.
There is a Consumption determined to pass through the whole earth, upon every earthly person, and every earthly thing in persons truly spiritual. Every earthly thing must be consumed. Not onely earthly relations, earthly converse, earthly imaginations, [Page 11] earthly endowments, customs, with the whole fashion of this outward world: but likewise earthly Religion, earthly Ordinances, earthly duties, earthly graces, earthly knowledg of God, earthly desires after God, earthly enjoyments of God, earthly acknowledgments of God, earthly praising of God, earthly hopes, evidences, assurances of everlasting life and blessedness; all that is earthly must be consumed every where. And that which you call spiritual, heavenly, in this dark eclipsed-Moon-light, God may call earthly in his clear Sun-light; and whatsoever he calls earthly, must under-go this Consumption.
All flesh is grass, and the glory thereof as the flower of the field: the grass withereth, the flower fadeth, because the Spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it. There is a blasting breath of the Lord gone forth, and going forth, which shall make every thing that is fleshly, that is not pure spirit, to dye, and give up the ghost. There is a terrible storm and tempest to come forth (Isai. 28. 2.) to batter down all the beauty and glory of Ephraim, of dear Ephraim, of Ephraim the pleasant Childe.
Now hence it may proceed, These persons may have been made to drink this wine. This judgment, which is to go over all, may be begun in them. The Spirit of the Lord, which will blow upon and make the glorious beauty of all to fade, may have already blown upon them, and have so blown upon t [...]em, that there may no remainders of that life and sweetness, whereof their spirits were once full, be left standing.
Therefore look about you; Let him that standeth take heed, lest he fall. Consider what ye will do when ye come to drink of this cup; how ye will keep off astonishment, and preserve in you the knowledg of spiritual things, when ye are made to drink the wine of astonishment; how ye will do to retain the beauty and glory of your Religion, when the Spirit of the Lord blows upon it. Alass Sirs! If these things be done to the green tree, what will become of the dry? If persons, in whom there was such an eminent power, purity and life of Religion (as there was known to be in many of these) be thus dealt with, be thus stripped, have the very foundation so struck at in them; what will become of persons who have very little better then a Form, whether of Presbytery, Independency, Anabaptism, or any other kinde? how will these stand against [Page 12] the tempest? how quickly will the unquenchable fire devour such stubble? If the Oaks of Bashan, the Cedars of Lebanon, persons of such height, such strength, be fell'd to the ground, be burnt in the fire, be so much consumed, have so little (if any thing at all) left, what shall become of the Brambles of the Forrest? And yet none more forward and confident in judging, then such as are least able to stand, and shall soonest fall, when they come to Judgment.
But I will insist no longer on this, which is (to the point in hand) but circumstantial; but proceed now to the thing it self, which is of substance indeed, and of very great weight, which is this, Whether we are to expect any other state, which that we are or have been in, and that the Primitive Christians were in, is to give way to? Whereunto I have this to say:
There seemeth to me to be a larger pouring out of the Spirit promised, and to be expected in the latter days, then hath as yet been dispenced; larger both for extent and vertue: it is to be poured out more generally upon the people of God, I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh; and more effectually upon those on whom it is poured out▪ and your sons and your daughters shall prophecy, &c. This second pouring forth of the Spirit is to be fuller of vertue and efficacy in several respects.
1. In respect of the knowledg of things, and the way of dispensing it. There was a great deal of knowledg given out then, in respect of what had been before, and after a far clearer and more powerful manner: but yet it was still weak, dark, imperfect, and given out by weak fleshly instruments, earthen vessels, and in a weak fleshly manner, through much infirmity of the flesh, as Paul speaks: And it was received in but weakly too; so that ignorance did still prevail, and men were very carnal and dark under those administrations and receptions of Light, and had need to be taught over and over again the very elements and first principles of Christianity.
But at the second pouring out of the Spirit, there shall be no need of any such givings out of Light, Ye shall not teach every man his neighbor, saying, Know the Lord: Knowledg shall then be universal among the people of God, They shall all know me, from the least to the greatest: The knowledg of the Lord shall cover the [Page 13] Earth, as waters cover the Sea. Now there is a gasping after more Light, more discoveries of God; but then every vessel shall be filled, and filled from the Fountain. The waters shall be no more sullied by the pipes that convey it, but pure Light shall spring from within.
2. In respect of the remembrance of things. It was a work appertaining to the Spirit, upon his first pouring forth, to bring things to their remembrance. The things that Christ had spoken, what they had known or heard, that was useful for them, the Spirit was to put them in minde of, when they should need it, either for direction or comfort.
But at the second pouring out of the Spirit, the Spirit shall indeed bring all things to our remembrance much more fully: all the things of God, all the things in God, all the things done by God. Then we shall indeed remember the things of old, before this late Earth was formed; when there was nothing but the Light of God, the Life of God, the Power of God, circling within its own pleasure.
3. In respect of power over spirituall enemies and evils. They had power over these in a great measure. They could in some sence play with sin, laugh in their spirits at the condemnation of it, at the reigning power of it: There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ; and if sin abound, grace abounds much more; and again, Sin shall not have dominion over us, for we are not under the Law, but under Grace: here is fine sporting with sin. But for all that, it was but sad sport sometimes, sin gave them now and then such gripes, as made them roar out, Oh wretched man! and, Who shall deliver! Yea, the body of sin stuck so close, as troubled the best of them all their dayes, so that they could not throughly do the things that they would, nor throughly avoyd the things they would not do, but were often forced, by the power of sinne, to do what they hated.
So for the world: They were delivered from this present evill world; but so as they were still troubled with it, and faine much to be pressed, not to love the world, nor the things of the world, not to fashion themselves to the world, &c. They were half out, and half in; got out from the world, and yet the world [Page 14] stuck close to them; drawn upwards by the Spirit, and yet still held downwards by the flesh.
And for the Devill; his head was a little crushed, but he was not quite trodden under foot. They were not ignorant of his devices, they knew his wiles well, and yet for all that they were not free from being entangled by him. Paul himself was buffeted by his messenger. He went up and down the very Churches like a roaring Lyon, seeking whom he might devoure; neither was he content with particular souls, but he never left till he had swallowed up all the Churches.
But at the second pouring out of the Spirit, spirituall enemies and spirituall evils shall be pure sport. Nothing shall hurt or destroy in all Gods holy mountain: Then the sucking child shall play on the hole of the Aspe, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the Cockatrice den. The sting of sin shall be so taken out, that it shall be as harmless as any other thing. Such Light, such Life, such Puritie, shall then be dispensed, as shall transform the very nature of things. Darkness shall become Light; Death, Life; Impurity, Purity, unto them. They shall be so fully, so truely pure, as all things shall be pure to them; so fully living, as all things shall be life to them; and full of that light, which maketh every thing light about it. Sin, and Devil, and Hell, have no evill Originally in themselves, but only by a sharp Law are made terrible to weak flesh, but are very pleasant to the might and strength of perfect Spirit.
4. In respect of wisdome to use things. They had not wisdom proportionable to make use of the things bestowed on them. They knew not how to manage their gifts and graces (as appears in the 12. chap. of the 1 Epist. to the Church of Corinth) to the best advantage, but their very table became a snare to them. Their food, though it was weak, yet it was too strong for their stomacks. The wine of the Spirit was too heady for their weak braines, so that it turned them out of the way. Paul himself, though more then an ordinary man, yet not able to bear more then ordinary Revelations.
But at the second powring out of the Spirit, he shall become a perfect guide. There shall be wanting neither light to see the right, nor life to fall in with it to the full. The way of holiness, [Page 15] true holiness (not a shadowie, not a representative, but true holiness) shall be so plain, that waifaring men, that never went that way before, though fools, who have no skill in it, who know not how to ask a wise question about it, shall not erre therein.
And this is my interest, herein lies my heart, this is all the little hope that is left me, (or rather that is a little revived in me) after the bitter death and losse of all. And if this also faile me, or be over-much prolonged, I know not which way to turn, having nothing further to expect, but to lye down in miserie. I have seen an end of all the perfection I have hitherto been acquainted with; and if I had it again, yet it would be too narrow to yield my Spirit content, which through much extremity hath been forced from its hold, to seek out and pant after, a firmer, a deeper, a larger foundation.
And now what shall I say to you, my dear ones? had I a word in Season, oh with what delight should I give it forth unto you I and yet why should I poor ignorant wretch be speaking, when he who knows how to speak, sees it good to be silent? Had I not better fall a weeping over you? but what value have my tears above my words? yet let me weep or speak, or both, at worst it can be but like what we dayly meet with; lost labour, vanitie. And I could almost fall into a patheticall perswading of you (if I were sure it might be prevalent and profitable) to weep with me; yea, and yet somewhat further, even to leave this same eager prosecuting the Formes and Shaddows of things (which passe away, which perish in the very use, which did not contain life and substance in them, even whilest it passed through them) to withdraw your Spirits from doting on your present enjoyments (if they be present) and to consider what is absent, what is worth the enjoying, and to mourn after it; To forsake the house of Feasting in these poor, low, dark, shallow things, and to enter into the house of mourning, after deep, after excellent things, after that life and substance which will alone be in request for food and satisfaction of Souls, when these shall vanish, and their emptiness and nakedness appear unto, and be acknowledged by all.
There is ground of mourning in a double respect: both in respect of what is lost, and in respect of what was promised to be enjoyed.
[Page 16] First, In respect of what is lost, and that in a double respect also: In respect of what you your selves have lost, and likewise in respect of what the state of Christianity hath lost.
Consider what ye your selves have lost, and mourn over that. What Sweetness, Meekness, Patience, Humility, Faith, Love, &c. did appear in Christians a while ago? What Life and Vigour in Prayer? What inward searching of heart, and outward strictness of conversation? Oh where is this! Is it not gone? Nay, is it possible to be recovered? Be provoked to jealousie, O ye professors of this age, hold forth the truth of things, or give up the name also: if ye have lost the Substance, please not your selves with the Title, but throw it away also, rather then it should hinder you from pressing after the Substance again.
Consider likewise, what the state of Christianity hath lost: what it once possessed, whereof the shadow is not now to be found.
What presence of God dwelling in them. God dining, supping, walking up and down with them, and they with him. We know God by outward apprehensions, sucked in from the letter of the Scriptures: They knew God from the sight of him, from his ingoings and out-goings in their own spirits. They, by a spiritual eye received from God the Father and Jesus Christ his Son, saw themselves in God the Father and in Jesus Christ: They saw God the Father and Jesus Christ in them. They were come to Mount Sion, to the City of the living God, &c. They saw, they tasted, they handled, the Word of Life. They had golden Candlesticks, and Christ walking in the midst of them.
What Power of the Spirit of God going forth in them. They could pray in the Spirit, act in the Spirit, live in the Spirit. They knew how to move towards God in his own Spirit. Out of their belly did indeed flow rivers of living Water, which did continually run back, and carry them back into the Sea of Life.
What Liberty of Spirit, true Liberty, wherein they knew how to use every thing, and be in bondage to nothing: Such Liberty, wherein the Spirit might take its full scope to meet and enjoy God every where, in every thing; and the flesh have no advantage thereby to feed it self any where, in any thing.
[Page 17] This was once the state of Christians, that which they were in a way to attain, that which some did attain, yea that which was generally attained in some degree. But where is it now? Who comes near it? Indeed a strong Imagination may fancy, that it hath attained some kind of resemblance of it; but do but compare it with the reality of this state, how soon will it appear but an Imagination, but a fancy? and is not this a just occasion of lamentation?
Again, There is ground of mourning, in respect of what was promised. More was promised then they enjoyed. A more full presence of God, a more abundant power of the Spirit, a more perfect liberty in the Spirit. He that beleeveth, out of his belly shall flow Rivers of living Water. I will dwell with them, and I will walk in them, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. Though they had the enjoyment of this in respect of us, yet this was but a promise in respect of what was to be enjoyed. Promises are very large of plenty, fulness of bread, but the children of the promises are very scanty, almost famished for want of it. How full are the Scriptures of promises to the last days! We say, these are the last days, and surely we meet with (in part) the misery that is spoken of, as belonging to the last times; but the happiness, the sweet enjoyment of God, the plentiful pourings forth of the Spirit, which are so abundantly promised to those times, seem more remote from us in view, then they have been from preceding ages.
If ever there was a time for tears without, and grief of spirit within, this seems the season: when after such an expectation of Light and Glory, of Settlement and Establishment in the things of God, such thick darkness, such universal shame, such dreadful Shatterings, have so apparently overtaken us, and are so likely dayly more and more to overtake us. Not only our Superstruction, but our very Foundation is shaken; and when we have striven and tryed to the utmost to settle again, we may be forced at length to confess, that there is no setling any more upon it, but we must come to a deeper bottom, or sink for ever.
The Sense of A poor shattered Soul, Concerning His Spiritual Loss & Misery thereby, Expressed in A LETTER To an intimate Friend.
The Letter.
MY dear Heart, mine own Soul; what shall I call thee? I can call thee any thing in word, in form; but nothing in light, in power. I have not been unwilling to write to thee, otherwise then I am made unwilling towards all motions: But this I must confess, I am unwilling so far to grieve thee, as my writing necessarily will occasion. How canst thou bear to hear how I have been tossed up and down, stripped of all; not of the outside, but of the inside; [Page 19] not of my corruptions, (which I hoped had been burning up, and wasting away,) but of the vigor and life of my spirit? Not one branch of knowledg, not one sweet motion of my spirit, but hath been confounded, condemned, taken from me, and made odious to me. Very shy have I been of new Notions, till extremity made me desirous to entertain any thing that might in any respect mitigate my torment, and then fain would I beleeve any thing, imagine any thing, be any thing, for ease sake. And yet to this day am I still held off from every thing. I can neither receive any thing that is new, nor return to any thing that is old: but every thing is darkness, death, emptiness, vanity, a lye. Thus they still appear to me, and yet my spirit presently judgeth me for so thinking and judging, while I know them not, nor what they may be. I am rent from all things, but have nothing to turn to. My hopes, comforts, enjoyments, are all dashed, but nothing new brought in their stead. I am like a wilde Bull in a net, entangled with misery and torment, which I know not what it is, no [...] whence it comes, nor whither it tends, nor see no likely hood of any issue. I am perfectly weary of my self and all things, but continually more and more beset with what I hate; and have quite lost the remembrance of what I desire, or could love. Nor is there any use of any means for me, for there is no principle left in me for any man, or means, to work upon.
I will tell thee one strange thing. After I had been long worried, and had had all my Religion violently rent from me, peece by peece, and had long mourned over the dead carcass; Having at length forgot the sweetness of it, I was drawn to a willingness to part with it. Hereupon for a season I enjoyed a kinde of fools Paradise, yet not without intermixtures of anguish; but I was quickly weary of it, and turned out of it too. At the same time also I felt my Reason somewhat revive, which made me a little entertain this conjecture: That the blows which did light so heavy on it were for Religions sake, which it was still offering to be serviceable unto, while it remained; which when it had once quitted, it much escaped the dint of those strokes which followed it so incessantly before. And I finde still somewhat more of it in me, then when you were here; yet have very little comfort or sweetness in the enjoyment of it, having this imagination at some times somewhat strong [Page 20] in me, That I must be stripped of the Man, as well as of the Christian; and at present cannot think otherwise, by Reason of the sharp wounds it sometimes sensibly receives.
I am weary of all things, of Religion, Reason, Sense, and all the objects that these have to converse about: but yet there is somewhat in stead of these that I would fain finde within, and somewhat in stead of those objects I would fain meet with without, which if once my spirit might be satisfied in, I should finde some rest; till when I cannot but remain truly miserable, and be fit for nothing, but to torment, and to be tormented.
FEBR. 18. 1649.