A NEVV (AND TOO TRƲE) DESCRIPTION OF ENGLAND.
WHat my old accquaint [...]nce, Kitt? art thou unhang'd yet, alive still, not kil'd in all this knocking time, I prethee how hast thou scapt all this while, when Thousands of thy betters have gone to the pot, But tell me (Sirrah) half all thy limbes sound and whole?
I: And my eates too (thou egge of a Cocke a-Trice) I thanke heaven for't not so much as a haire of my head dimininnished since I saw thee, And yet (without ostentation be it sp [...]oken) I have beene as forward as the best in the Army, God blesse the King.
Well no more of that if thou lov'st me; but how goes matters, things, b [...]snesses, what shall I say, what's the newes amongst you Cavaliers, whence camest thou now? come let us discourse a little befor we part.
I marry with all my heart why I'le tell the true, I came from my Chamber at Oxford, where the best newes is; that His Majesty (God be thanked) is in very good health: and wants neither Men, Horse, Money, Ammunition, Victuall, nor firme harted friends; what saiest thou Barnaby is not that good newes?
Good newes quotha. I pray thee harp no more upon that string, such harmoney I like not, ther's no kinde of true concord in't, well I know what I thinke.
Out upon thee thou summe (or rather scum) of all basenasse, what dost thou thinke (thou villaine) the devine word saith, thou shalt not thinke evill of the King, and dar'st thou harbour thoughts of His Sacred Maiesty which thou wilt not reveale.
I prit [...]ee Kitt be not so Cynicall, don't byte of my Nose, I am bidden to a wedding. let's discourse soberly and to the purpose.
I wonder Barnaby how thou dar'st use that proverb, it being so old, I dar say if any of your Banellia [...], Hoggsheaderians, Piperians, or Butterians (for there are degrees of Tubbe as men have guifts) should heare thee, they would account thee worthy of great reprehension, but let that passe. what would'st thou say if thou could'st spake; let me heare?
But before we proceede any further, let me obleige the to speake nothing at all of the King; for I know thy humor, thoul't be praysing him for a Just, mercifull, prudent, pious, and truly Religious Prince, and what not, but?
But what thou Basiliske? I rhinke I must be forced to kick thee into better manners, and conjure downe that damnable spirit of detraction and disobedience, but I shall get no credit by't, who toucheth Pitch shall be defiled, God blesse the King and Parliament, and send us a happy vnion betwene them, put a period to these destracted and destructive times which poore England groanes under, this is my hearty prayer and ever shall be, till death.
J could wish there might be peace too; but as the ease stands now, while the credit of our cause lies at stake, we ought to promote this [...]alous and godly Warr rather then sue for, or imbrace an vnjust and di [...]olicall peace, there's my parmanent resolution, which i'le maintaine [...]th purse and person even to death it selfe.
Not too much of that Barnaby, any other thing but that same [...] throat death your Sectaries can endure, for the truths sake (as they [...]ly tearme it) but the apprehension of death will make them change [...]ir opinions as often as Proteus did to severall shapes, rather then un [...]rgoe this thing cal'd death.
Nay nay Kit now thou doest exceed the lymitts of truth and [...]science, for I prithe did not many hundreds of of us dye at Worcester [...]inton and Brainford, Battersey, and in divers other parts of the King [...]me, (the more's the pitty) and yet doest thou say we dare not die for [...] Religion; dost not blush at this false report.
Not a whit, for I said nothing but i'le iustifie and mainetaine before the prime Sectmaster of you all; I confesse many fought and were kil'd, but for what did they dye? J prithe for Religion? thou wilt answere J; but I tell thee noe, for you fought for mony, for meat for cloathes, pillage and a little vaine glory: to make a composition of your Ample imployment.
And what didst thou and the rest of the Cavaliers fight for, I thinke our cases are much alike: though our consciences are at great difference.
Conscience quotha? thine and the rest of thy sect have bottomlesse consciences: nothing comes amisse to you: all is swalloed downe that pretended zealous gu [...]ph: which indeed (to say truth without dissimulation) hath almost quite deuoured the glory and beauty which was the Peace and plenty of the most noble and admirable Kingdome in the Christian world: ah poore miserable and unfortunate England that from thine owne bowels hast produced such a Viperors brood which now swim in b [...]ood to thy Ruine and vtter destruction; J am sure all honest well minded Christians who wish the wellfare of King and Country doe suffer for your pe [...]vishnesse.
Why I prithee don't we fight for the Ghospell?
Doth not the King maintaine the Ghospell? is not he the Defender of the true ancient, Catholique and Apostolique Faith; where's the difference tell me?
I: but the King inclynes to Popery and Supperstition, which we strive to suppresse and abolish by this holy Warr.
Was it Popery and Superstition which Queene Elizabeth, and King Iames (of happy memory) did maintaine, and the King promises to maintaine the like, even to defend with the utmost hezard of his Royall Crowne, Dignity, and Life; then why will we not beleeve him: but I ghesse the reason, you long for a change, the Bishops kept you to much in awe; have I not hit the nayle o'the head.
Thou hast indeed, for I zealously protest, that we do detest the Protestant Religion which thou speak'st of; and which the King promises (nay prehaps will performe) to maintaine, full as much as we do Popery, for to say truth Popery and vulgar Protestancy are very neere correllatives.
Vulgar Protestancy? O Ha ha ha, well I finde now Barnaby where your shooe wringes: you would have Religion refin'd wo'd you? I thinke you have brought the Kingdome to a very fine passe with your resining Novelisme; the Court's full of care, the Citty full of unwonted Pollicy, the country feeles callamity, and to these three so long us'd estates, your damnable inventions have now of late added a fourth, which is the Campe, and that hath necessarily many cruell passages, and when springs all these miseries but from a multitude of factious turbulent spirits that itch after novelty and change of Government.
Well well Kitt, say or do what thee and thy confederacy can we must have the staines of the Church washed of with the blood of the ungodly, wee'le dash these babilonian brats against the stones, and in so doing thinke we doe God good service, weele have our owne minds before we have done.
O Diabolicall spirit how do'st thou delude theis simple people, how like an Angell of light art thou metamorphosed in these wretched times, to betray so many thousands of selfe conceited soules; Oh Barnaby I am sorry with all my heart that you have no more grace in you, Oh that you would expell from you those spirits of contention and Arrogancy, and instead of them imbrace the spirits of humility and obedience that you would seeke peace and pursue it, that you would give honour to whom honour is due, and be obedient unto Superiours, as unto the ordinance of God; and as those who must yeild accoumpt for your Soules: but whilest this selfe love and contempt of government ra [...]gnes in this Kingdome, we must expect nothing but inevitable ruine both in Church and State.
I hath thought a Cavalier had not had so many good words in's mouth, neither doe J thinke many of you have; for verily 'tis for your wickednesse that the godly are unforced to this nessessity of seeking blood-shed; your swearing and blaspheming must be chastized, and God I know hath put you into our hands.
Oh prophane sacriligions miscreant, who tould the thou art holier then I, none but the Devill who is a lyer from the begining, and the father of such liers as thou art; for I tell the onc [...] again that this very conceipt of thy owne sanctity and thy brothers imperfection, is a most damnable sinne, and deserves eternall punishment why Barnaby if thou see or hease thy brother sweare, Blaspheme or commit any unjust act, it behooves thee to reprehend such a one in the spirit of meekenes, [...]rayning charity in the bond of Peace, this Salve (upon my life) would cure all the Ruptures and fractions of theise calamitous times
Better and better I protest, thou hast spoken (brother Kit) more then I or any man would expect from a Cavalier, J had thought such as thee had nothing in your mouthes but Damme and Sinke, and such execrable imprecations.
Indeed brother if sewer did use that most damnable, vnnaturall, unnecessary, and unprofitable vice; yet it is too many by the whole number; but for my part and I know (God be thanked) there be many thousands as carefull as my selfe to avoid that abhominable sinne; why I tell thee Barnaby thou art deceived in the very name and nature of a Cavalier, as thou art in all the rest of thy foolish opinions for a Cavalier signifies a Gentleman in what languag soever you speak is so that to say truth our enemies (through Jgnorance) have confer'd upon us a better [...]it [...]e then they could wish us, and (to say truth) then a great number of us doe deserve, for by this common title, every poore souldier of the Kings army (though never so base in condition) is cal'd a Cavalier, and con [...]q [...]ntly a Gentleman.
Jst possible we should be so deceived; a litle more of this prithe, I like thy discourse well, what shall J doe brother?
Practise (as I said before) humility and obedience, and leave of this foolish pride, selfe conceipt, and selfe love, and be not deluded by simple mechanicall men, who to get themselves popular applause, [...]ee [...]e vtterly to overthrow, and lay wast the house of God and all government of church and State, this contumatious arrogancy, provokes the [...]ust and infallible Iudgment of God to give you over to a reprobate sence, that you shall beleve lyes against the knowne truth soe long fince planted and cultivated by the Doctrine and blood of so many Reverend, religious, painefull, Learned and conscionable Bishops, and true Preachers of the truth, whose doctrine so planted cultivated, and established you [Page] seeke vtterly to abolish and to set up your owne invented novelties in the place.
[...] but brother they tell us it is the pure word of God which they teach us, and that what soever was taught and practized in the church before was (for the most part) the instutions and inventions or men contray to the written word, as the predominancy of the Bishops over the rest of the clergy, nay indeed the word clergy begings to be apocriphall, the crosse in Baptisme, I & baptisme it selfe too the King In Marriage, and after a sort marriage too, the Booke of common prayer, & all other prayers but extemporall; with many other circumstances which I conceiveing that you know already, doe hold impertinent and unnecessary to reherse.
Have at the Scriptures it selfe next, you begin very boldly with it, for to uphold your owne simple opinion of praying extempory, you explode and reiect that sacred forme of prayer taught by Christs owne mouth as a regular forme for all prayer, he saying himselfe when you pray say thus, Our Father &c. which you Sectaries doe so vilifie and contemne that (as a friend of mine told me) an old Woman said a while agone, I thanke God for it both I and my Children have almost forgotten the Lords prayer. Saint Paul saith, let brotherly love continue, doe good to all, especially to the houshold of Faith; Let there be nothing done with contention and wrangling. but in the spirit of meeknesse, exhort one another, keepe Charity firme in the bond of Peace; Let all things be done with decency and order; And other things will I (without writing) set in order when I come: but quite contrary to all this among your proud brethren, every one thinks his owne way best; ther's nothing but strife and contention; neither peace not charity will be hearken'd too: all things are done contrary to decency and Order; you'le doe nothing but what's written, yet oppose what is written, is this well or not?
Well I thinke I must change my title from Caviller to Cavalier, for I confesse all this is true that thou hast said, And I am heartily sory that I knew not so much before, but have bin lost all this while in a fogg of Ignorance and stupidity; oh that with recalling my selfe (which by Gods grace) I purpose, I could recall backe my blinded Brethren, my gracious loving and Religious King, the usuall trading and commerce of the honourable head City of London, prevent the callamity of Country, and cure the cares of the Court: Oh that my life may serve as an acceptable service in the behalfe of the rest, to expiate those mutinous and contumelious outrages, which have driven the King from his Parliament, peace from the Country, trading from the Citty; and plenty with safety from the whole Nation.
Thou saist well brother Barnaby, heaven continue that good disposition [Page] in thee, and grant that more of thy companions may follow thee, in this worthy Resolution; And then no doubt but before long (God being propitious to penitent prayers) all the things bewail'd and wish'd for, would be removed and restor'd; And distracted and abused England, rendering both what is due to God and Caeser may reassume her pristine estate of honour and happinesse, which heaven grant for his mercy sake: In the interim prayer and patience are the best salves to our greivous soares.
That's the only cure indeed, well brother Kitt a dieu, I heartily thanke heaven and thee for this good discourse.
Adieu sweete Barnaby heaven us protect, and grant that all true prayers may take effect.