REFLECTION I. Ʋpon our Obligations to Consecrate that Life to Gods Glory, which we hold from his Mercy, and the Care you ought to take, lest we should be Insnar'd into sin.

WHat shall I render unto my God, for giving me Life and Health, for Reprieving me from the Gates of Hell and preserving my Soul; [Page 2]and in short, for all those Fa­vours which he has vouchsafed to me his poor Servant?

Shall it suffice, O my God, to acknowledge thy Benefits? will it be any recompence, to employ the remainder of that time in thy service, which hitherto has been spent in affronting thy Majesty? or will the divorcing those un­lawful Pleasures, to which I have been formerly wedded, satisfie thy Justice, and blot out my Transgressions? In short, will it be sufficient to secure me from Eternal Misery, that hence­forward I will aspire after no­thing but Eternal Happiness, the fruition of thy self, and those ravishing Pleasures which are at thy right-hand for ever­more?

Grant that thy Rays may en­lighten my Reason, and that thy Grace may penetrate my Soul; [Page 3]help me out of that deplorable estate into which I am fallen, and inspire me with Faith to pray unto thee; and good God, suffer me not to fall into such a Lethar­gy as may render me unmindful of my Souls health, or sleep the sleep of Eternal Death.

Oh let me never forget that dreadful hour, when thou cald'st me to an account for my sins; when I beheld Death ready to seize upon my soul and carry it into everlasting torments; and let thy infinite compassion be deeply engraven upon my me­mory, which in the midst of Judgment did remember Mercy, and rescue me from thy fiery in­dignation.

Oh that the Joy which fills my Soul for the return of my Health may not Justle out thy Grace, and Reconcile me to the World, that those vain Ideas of Sensua [...] [Page 4]Pleasure, may be quite ras'd ou [...] of my fancy, and neverre-assum [...] the place of those solid Truths which by thy Mercy are writte [...] there.

REFLECT. II. She Prays unto God, to strengthen her Resolutions, and to enable her to approach unto him with a pure heart.

REstore unto me, O my God, the health of my Soul, and enable me to desire of thee, a­bove all things, that Holy Joy which the vicissitudes of these sublunary things cannot deprive me of; I mean the Joy to see my self redeem'd from the slavery of sin, in a state of salvation, and led by the hand of thy Di­vine Providence, to my Heavenly [Page 5] Canaan Season also my Heart with thy Grace, that Spirit and Principle of Action, which, ha­ving-wash'd us clean in the Blood of our Saviour, furnishes us with strength to persevere to the end in the way of his Com­mandments.

For alas! what will become of those Vows which I made unto thee, when I was surrounded with Fear, and in danger of losing my Soul; I say, what will become of them, unless thou, O Lord, out of the abundance of thy Mercy art-pleas'd to im­print them on my mind, fix them in my thoughts, and enable m [...] to conquer the Temptations of my visible and invisible Enemies, who use all means possible, ei­ther to terrifie, or to decoy me into sin.

O Lord, who succourest the poor, and takest pleasure in those [Page 4] [...] [Page 5] [...] [Page 6]that come unto thee with Faith, and with an humble and contrite Heart; We acknowledge our selves to be weak and miserable Creatures, and relie wholly upon thy Grace, the proper Medicine to heal and comfort us. Search my Heart and try my Reins, and grant me that infallible Medicine which dispels the most conta­gious fumes of sin; which will sanctifie my Soul, and preserve it safe unto Everlasting Life.

But grant me also, O my God that whilst I beg these Blessings of thee, I may be endow'd with such a frame of mind, and such other qualifications, as encline thee to say, Amen, to my peti­tions.

Prepare your selves, O my Body, my Spirit, and my Soul, by the assistance of God's grace, to appear before your Master and your God; to the end that [Page 7]he may apply that Divine Me­dicine which will make you whole.

For how dare I approach the Holy of Holies, without pre­paration, and intrude my self a most miserable sinner into the presence of my God?

Therefore, O Lord, make me sensible of my want and misery, and of thy Majesty and Love, be­fore I come to this Heavenly Banquet, where I shall eat and drink, either my Eternal Health, or Damnation.

REFLECT. III. Ʋpon those Vertues which are ne­cessary for our approaching unto Christ; from the Example of the Canaanite, the Samara­tan, and Mary Magdalen.

TEach me in the trouble of my Spirit, and anguish of my Heart, with what degree of grief my Soul ought to be af­fected for its Offences against so great, so good a God; and what Purity of Body and Soul is re­quired, that it may be filled with Divine shame.

How I may offer up a pure and agreeable Sacrifice too thee, having now a mind too much delighted in the vanities of the world, and a heart too much led away by them.

How I may lodge thee in the Temple of my Breast, from whence, with difficulty, I have just now chas'd thy most invete­rate Enemies.

In short, the Way for a No­torious Sinner, who is without Repentance and without Love, to be made Partaker of that Christ who was crucified for him, is, to defer coming to the Table of the Lord, until he is duly prepared, lest he commit the most hainous Sacriledge. Inspire me then with such a hatred of sin, as may confirm my resolu­tions to abstain from every thing that displeaseth thee, and with Passionate desires to love thee alone.

Give me that humble and con­trite spirit whose groans thou dost never refuse; I would say, Inspire me by thy Grace, with the self-same dispositions with [Page 10]which the poor Canaanite pro­strated her self at thy feet.

Look upon me, O Lord, whilst I approach unto thee, as thou didst that humble stranger. I would say as a poor Dog, who is sufficiently happy, when per­mitted to pick up the Crumbs which fall from the Table where thou feastest thine Elect.

Look with compassion upon this poor sinner, who, like the Samari­tan woman, being inflamed with a sense of her sins, beseeches one drop of Living Water, to quench the fervor of her soul, and thirst of sin.

But above all, incline me to Imitate Mary Magdalen; with that holy penitent, let me wash thy Feet with my Tears, and by indeavouring to love thee much, in some measure answer thy love in forgiving me much.

Deal with me as with these three Holy Women, whom thou hast made the living Witnesses of thy Mercy; that by these Ex­amples I may be taught what trust ought to be put in thy Good­ness. Fit me, O Lord for the ap­proaching thy Table, and par­ticipating of thy Divine Myste­ries. Give me a lively, humble and constant Faith, which may produce an Universal Obedi­ence to thy Law, the solid foun­dation of my Eternal Welfare.

REFLECT. IV. Concerning the Constancy and St [...] ­bility of the Faith, necessa [...] to a Penitent Soul.

GIVe me therefore, O Lord a lively Faith, which ma [...] animate all my Actions, and not­withstanding my weakness, no [...] ­rish thy Love and thy Grace i [...] my Soul. A stedfast Faith, where­by I may sincerely believe th [...] Holy Word, and when th [...] World allures me with its temp­tations put me in mind, that n [...] man can serve two Masters.

A humble Faith whereby I may discern that conformity to this World is the greatest impedi­ment of my conformity unto Jesus Christ.

In fine, an enlightned Faith which may render the Grandeur [Page 13]of this World contemptible to me, and demonstrate that the fashion of this World passes a­way, and that there is nothing solid and lasting, but God alone. For alas! my best desires are fleeting and unconstant, like the flowers of the field, which to day are, and to morrow are cut down and wither.

O Lord, who art delighted in acts of Mercy, and who alone canst change the heart, turn my inconstancy into a steady resolu­tion of serving thee, and my ir­regular passions into an earnest persuit of thy love.

Let it not suffice me, that I am disgusted with worldly things, or perhaps estranged from them; this may proceed from a spirit of pride, or be the effort of my reason. But direct my ways and purifie my thoughts, that at the same time I am convinc'd of the [Page 14]vanity and emptiness of earthly things, I may be also assisted with thy grace to teturn unto thee; that my Heart being cleans'd, in­stead of those Legions of Vani­ties, which have formerly pos­sess'd it, it may be consecrated a Holy Temple, and dedicated to the Service of my God.

Preserve me from the sweet poyson of the pleasures of this World, that sun-shine of Fortune, which sooner disrobes us of our Innocence, than the most severe blasts of Adversity. Let me look up unto no other God or Provi­dence than thine alone.

Correct me, O Lord, but with the chastisement of a Son, which in the midst of the most glitter­ing prosperity afflicts and hum­bles us, brings our hearts home unto thee, and convinces us that we are but Men; that is to say, weak & feeble creatures, blinded [Page 15]by our passions, and subject to all sorts of misery.

Take away from me that inor­dinate love of my self, and that original corruption, from whence springs all my Misery; 'tis from this that instead of serving thee in Spirit and in Truth, instead of making thy Glory the end of all my thoughts, words and acti­ons, I persue after nothing, but the gratification of my irregular Lusts.

Let me be never so rash and so ungrateful unto thee, O my God, as to fancy my self the Author of those Reflections, which I som­times make, when I retire my self from the hurry of this world, wherein an unquencheable appe­tite torments the most happy per­sons, and renders them miserable slaves, even by the accomplish­ment of their most earnest de­sires.

REFLECT. V. The Thoughts of a penitent Soul, fearful of being deceiv'd by the Appearance of a False Conver­sion.

WHat am I, my Lord and my God? what am I but a proud Atome, a poor, blind creature, who continually goes astray when thou withholdst the Rays of thy Grace. I deserve to be annihilated, if at any time I should attempt the conversion of my self, by my own power, with­out the assistance of thy Grace.

Mortifie in my soul all vain glory, every thing that tempts me to too good an opinion of my self; but chiefly that frothiness of humour which serves only to divert me from thy ways, to de­prive me of the benefit of my af­flictions, [Page 17]and the sweet comfort [...]f thy Holy Spirit.

Give me humility and distrust [...]f my own reason? let me thirst [...]fter doing good more, and car­ [...]al knowledge less; lest valuing [...] more than thy grace, I lose my [...]elf; and instead of becoming a [...]ood Christian, become a Phi­ [...]osopher; better acquainted [...]ith the Maxims of Aristotle and [...]escartes, than the knowledge [...]f the Cross.

O how vain and deceitful are [...]he thoughts of man, unless go­ [...]ern'd by that Wisdom which is [...]rom above, by that Wisdom [...]hich is Foolishness to the World, because it is unacquainted [...]ith it; by that Wisdom which [...]od has concealed from the [...]roud, and discovered to the [...]umble; by that Wisdom which [...]aughs at humane subtilty, and [...]cts only according to the grace [Page 18]of Jesus Christ, In short, [...] that Wisdom which is produc [...] by the Fear of God, and whi [...] is the beginning and the end [...] all true Wisdom.

Permit me not, O my God, t [...] flatter my self, that I hate all si [...] because I am perhaps restraine [...] from Luxury and passion; Le [...] me not flatter my self, that [...] am taken off from loving th [...] Creature, because my diversion [...] are innocent.

Let me not flatter my self, tha [...] I have mortified my passions; fo [...] I find them revive with mo [...] strength then ever, and encli [...] me to self-love; which is th [...] more dangerous, decause by j [...] stifying these irregular motion [...] it renders me deaf to the dictate [...] of my reason, and the holy in spirations of thy grace.

Let me not fancy my self to b [...] without pride, ambition, sel [...]-love, [Page 19]because I despise the World [...]d scorn to owe those Honours [...]ortune has stripp'd me of, to [...]ything else but my ovvn deserts.

Let me not so much deceive my [...]lf, as to think I am throughly [...]nverted, when indeed I have [...]ly chang'd the sins of sense, [...]r those of the mind: A pro­ [...]ane, proud, and fensual Life, [...] which I was always tormented [...] reflecting on my Crimes and [...]e remorse of my Conscience; [...]r a life in which my whole en­ [...]eavour is to gratifie self love, [...]nd enjoy the pleasures of the World; and in the mean while, [...]se my precious time, forget my [...]od, hazard the salvation of my [...]oul, & obtain nothing but the Mo­ [...]ality of a Heathen, which alone [...]ill not save me at the day of Judg­ment: O state, truly deplorable, [...]nd the more so, because I am [...]ot sensible of my condition, but [Page 18] [...] [Page 19] [...] [Page 28]rest satisfied without endeavour­ing after any other Repentanc [...] or Conversion.

REFLECT. VI. Ʋpon the Opposition of a Worldl [...] Life to the suffering Life o [...] Jesus Christ.

TEach me, O Lord, that thi [...] sort of life is not the life of a Christian, and that the end of Christ's Death and Incarna­tion was not to instate us in so delicate and effeminate a life, as might gratifie sense and indulge the flesh; and that all Moral Vertues are but dead Works, un­less enlivened by the Merits and Vertue of Jesus Christ.

That unless the inclinations of our hearts are changed, it will nothing avail a sinner to reform [Page 29]his outward conversation, to [...]ate the World without love to God, to do works of Justice, without sincere Repentance; and, as the Royal Psalmist has it, [...]o cease from evil without doing good.

At the same time, O Lord, that thou destroyest my sinful Habits, plant in my soul such Graces, as may be fruitful to Good Works. Grant that by a lively Faith I may meditate on the My­steries of thy Life and Passion; That my soul may be deeply af­fected with them, and that it may be my greatest pleasure to con­template those Sufferings which thou didst willingly undergo for my sake.

That beholding the Divine infant lying on the Straw, and in a Manger, the Treasures of Heaven vailed in the Poverty of the Earth? I may contemn all [Page 22]those Riches which endure but for a moment, and endeavour to obtain those incorruptible treasures, which Moth and Ruct do not corrupt, which will never fly away.

That the consideration of that private life in which thou wast pleased to disguise thy self from the eyes of the world, may create in me a desire to be forgotten by it; that I may retire and employ my self only in the great business of my salvation.

That rhe receiving of thy holy body and precious blood, those sacred pledges of thy love, which thou wast pleas'd to leave us, when thou gavest thy life for our offences; may produce in me a holy horrour at the consideration of the cause of thy Death, and a detestation of all sin.

That I may rejoice and be ex­ceeding glad when I shall be [Page 23]disgrac'd and contemned, remem­bring my Saviour's humility, who was set at nought by Herod and the Court, where he never ap­pear'd but once, and then on pur­pose to be despised.

That those Scourges which rent thy Sacred Body, those Thorns which pierced thy Pre­cious Head, may penetrate my callous heart, render me truly penitent, and willing, for the love of thee, to undergo all those rigours of Mortification and Self-denial, which are requisite for the subduing of our Lusts.

In fine, that the consideration of thy ignominious death on the Cross, on which thou perfectest the work of my salvation in grief and misery, may be my only hope.

REFLECT. VII. What the Hope of a Penitent Soul ought to be.

THis is the second Favour I desire of thee for the Me­rits of that precious Blood which trickled from thy Sacred Wounds, and which thou didst offer to thy Eternal Father for the price of my Redemption.

That thou wouldst be pleas'd to give me a true hope in thy Mercies: I say, Lord, a true hope, because there is nothing more common, than to abuse thy Mercy, by making it an incou­ragement to sin more securely; than for sinners to hope in thy goodness, without so much as en­deavouring to repent: and to go on in their sins with confidence of impunity, tho' hereby they [Page 25]make God unjust, and rather the refuge and confident of their Crimes, than the true Protector of Innocence and Vertue.

Now whilst thy Thunder has awakned me, and thy Rod cor­rected me.

Now whilst I am sensible of the wickedness of my Life, the dangerous condition of my Soul, and am convinc'd that there is a Heaven, a Hell, and an Eter­nity.

Now whilst I am sensible that those things which hitherto in­chanted me, were but lying Va­nities, whilst I am inflamed more than ever with an ardent desire of being sincerely converted unto thee. Teach me, O Lord, that as thou art a God full of Mercy and Compassion to those sinners who hope in thy Mercy, and re­turn unto thee with all their heart: so thou art a terrible God [Page 26]to those who presume on it, only that they may multiply their of­fences, and after having tasted the sweet comforts of the Holy Spirit, scorn and neglect it. For it is not, Lord, of those miserable wretches, that thou sayest, to those that knock it shall be opened?

Is it not of these Miscreants of whom thou hast pronounc'd, that thou wilt withdraw the Bowels of thy Mercy?

Is it not against these impious persons thou hast threatned, that thou wilt mock at their Calamity; and that instead of finding at their last hour the compassion of a tender Father, they shall experience the Justice and Ven­geance of an angry God?

REFLECT. VIII. What Eeffect a true Repentance ought to have upon our Conversations and what kind of Guide she ought to enquire after for the conduct of her Soul.

THat I may avoid all the flat­teries of Self-love, by which the Devil takes occasion to rob me of thy grace; Grant, O my God, that instead of searching into my corruption for palliating Remedies to skin over my Sores, I may place my felf at the Tri­bunal of thy Justice, and there apply those Causticks which are necessary to consume Gangrene and Rottenness of my Soul.

That is to say, Lord, permit me not to be deceived, or rather let me not take pleasure in de­ceiving my self; in fancying that [Page 20]I shall make amends for such a Heathenish life as mine has been, such criminal and scandalous pas­sions, whilst I continue in the same sinful Habits, the same Op­portunities, the same Pleasures, and, perhaps, the same Crimes too.

Let me not add this to the heap of my sins; to wit, the dis­belief of thy Gospel, the inter­preting it according to my fancy, or adapting it to countenance my Enormities.

Ah Lord! how do I dishonour thee by my works, whilst I praise thee with my mouth; whilst I boast that I am a Christian, I act con­trary to thy holy Law, and every day renounce those Vows I made unto thee in my Baptism.

Ah Lord! who punishest my ingratitude, by suffering me to fall from one Precipice to ano­ther, from a neglect of thy [Page 21]Grace, to errour and hardness of heart. Permit me not to pitch upon a Mountebank, instead of an able Physician, who can apply proper Remedies to the invete­rate Maladies of my Soul; I would say, Lord, let me find a learned, prudent, and pious Guide, who can inform my Judgment, and understands when to Absolve me; and not a blind or a deceitful Guide, who corrupts thy Holy Word, bends the Rule to my lusts, rather than conforms me to it, and endeavours more to please than save me; who, by a too speedy administration of abso­lution, lulls me into a false peace, becomes the partner of my sin, the cause of my Damnation, and an instrument of the Devil, rather than the servant of Jesus Christ. For, O Lord, in that day, when all the secrets of our hearts, and all the evasions of self-love shall [Page 30]be laid open; thou wilt not then judge me by the Maxims of my ghostly Guide, but by thy holy Gospel, and that light which thou hast given me, which I have so often rejected, not willing to have the darkness of my mind dispell'd by it.

Thou wilt judge me by those truths, which notwithstanding my corruptions have pierced to the bottom of my Soul, by that remorse which thou didst mingle with my most criminal pleasures, thereby to recall my heart; but alas! I always stifled them, that I might the more freely abandon my self to my passions; those lying Vanities.

And lastly, O my God, 'tis by the Book of my own Conscience, and not that of my ghostly Guide, by which thou (my Sove­reign Judge) wilt pronounce my Sentence, at that terrible [Page 31]day, when thou wilt declare my [...]ternal Doom.

REFLECT. IX. [...]he prays that out of his Mercy he would be pleas'd to direct her con­tinually in the straight Way which leads unto him, and not permit her ro flatter her self, that she has repented, when she is running on still in the broad way.

AH, Lord, since I have no way left to appease my Judge, and to avoid the Sentence of Death, but to juge my self.

Grant that I may examin my self before the Tribunal of thy Justice. Grant that by a sincere repentance and a hearty sorrow for my sins, I may appease thy Vengeance; and suffer me not so to deceive my self in my [Page 40]repentance, and thereby oblige thee to judge me a second time, & punish me in the day of thy fiery indignation.

O Lord, inflame my heart with that spark of thy grace, which remains in my soul; and which sometimes makes it sigh within it self; change my plea­sures into bitterness, my prospe­rity into affliction, that I may thereby be assur'd, thou hast chang'd thy hatred into love; and that I may not find in my sin­ful estate, a more deadly tran­quillity, than in misery it self.

What can be more fatal to us, than to be deceiv'd in our Con­version, and in those Maxims of corrupted Morality, which ruin more than Debauchery it self.

For what more dangerous sick­ness can there be, than that which makes us refuse all Reme­dies? In fine, what more de­structive, [Page 41]than a Reformation in appearance only; which entices us out of the straight Way of Eternal Life, into the broad Rode of Sin? Lord, once again, I beseech thee, chasten me not in thy displeasure, as thou dost those Reprobates, whom thou punishest with prosperity, be­cause they would not partake of thy holy sufferings.

Remember, O my God, that I am but dust and ashes, a fitter ob­ject of thy compassion, than thy fury.

Have mercy upon me; O Lord, have mercy upon me; let thy mercy be proportionate to the hainousness of my offences, and thy infinite Loving-kindness, which has no other object, no other bounds, but thy mercy alone; In fine, give me a Pardon which may blot out all my offences, render me worthy of the mercy of God.

REFLECT. X. Motives of Trust in God, and Di­strust of our selves. Jesus Christ alone can confirm our Faith and strengthen our Hope.

COrrect me, O Lord, but in mercy; considering my frailty and the byas of my cor­rupt nature, which inclines me unto sin, and rivets my af­fections to the things of this World.

Have compassion on my indi­gence and inconstancy, which divert me from any thing that is good, and maugre the light of Faith, render tll my good Works abortive. O God, who lovest us more than we can love our selves, and who out of thy infi­nite goodness, hast rescued me from a false hope, by which I [Page 35]should have been flattered into final impenitence, and thus hast sav'd me contrary to my own in­clination; Give me a solid hope in thy Divine Merits, let me con­sider them as the only Object of my Trust, and principally when the Devil tempts me to dispair and employs all his artifices, by the interposition of my sins and frailties, to eclipse the contem­plation of thy Merits.

In this day of my affliction and distress (O my God) fix my eyes upon my blessed Saviour, dying on the Cross for my sins, and miserably torn by those furrows which the Scourges made upon his back. Let me consider, that thou didst endure all this to obtain pardon for my sins, and to encourage me to the taking up of thy Cross, upon which depends all my hopes of Salva­tion. Let me contemplate in [Page 36]thy Sacred Wounds, the right I a notorious sinner have, to hope in thy Mercies: Let the hope of a blessed Eternity, and the im­mutability of thy Promises, take off my Meditations from the vain and fleeting Enjoyments of this World, which hinder my Soul from aspiring to Eternal Feli­city.

For thou knowest, O Lord, how little stability there is in my best Desires, and how speedily the impressions of thy Grace on my heart are defac'd by the vain Idea's of worldly pleasure.

How the hopes of some trifle, some vain lust puffs up my Soul; how the Honours and Applause of this World makes me giddy and drunk with the fumes of Vain­glory.

In fine, Lord, thou knowest much better than I my self, how pliable I am to receive any im­pression [Page 37]of evil, how averse to any [...]hing which is good, and how un­stable in the ways of thy Com­mandments.

This is the reason, O Lord, [...]hat I put no confidence in my self; that my heart converts it self to thee in all its wants and [...]n the day of adversity. To thee, O Lord, who enlightenest the darkest recesses of my mind, who possessest me with patience under the severest afflictions, and art the Anchor of my Soul.

Here is, Lord, my Merit, my Riches, and my Refuge, when the consideration of my wicked life terrifies me.

Here is, Lord, my comfort in this vale of Tears and Spiritual Warfare, wherein my Soul is made the Scene of all sorts of passions.

In fine, This makes me hope more than fear; and rely on thy [Page 38]Mercies, rather than dread of thy Justice,

Ah, Lord, since I know by ex­perience, that thou art a sure Help to those that trust in thee, Teach me to relie upon thee in my greatest Extremities, to re­joyce in thy Chastisements, and to look upon them as marks of thy favour; Assist me patiently to undergo them, and assure me that thou wilt lay upon me no more than I am able to bear; but wilt take thy Rod from me. when it shall be conveucent for the health of my Soul.

Let me be fully assur'd that thy Grace will, in thy good time, remove all Obstacles, which obstruct my Salvation, that my Sufferings, and the malice of my Enemies will have an end, but that thy Mercies en­dure for ever; that after I have fought the good fight here on [Page 39]Earth, I shall receive a Crown of [...]lory in Heaven: for thou ma­ [...]est the Rays of thy Grace to [...]hine upon the just and the un­ [...]ust, which at the same time [...]elt down the humbe Soul into [...] sincere repentance, and harden [...]he habitual and obdurate sin­ [...]er; to the end that the one [...]hould not be tempted to Pre­sume, or the other to Dispair, [...]ut all remain in a continual de­pendence upon thy Grace.

Let me not then, O my God, be in the number of those, who will be astonished and confounded at the Great Day, because they have rejected thy Grace; for I cast my self wholly upon thy Mercy, which is infinite, and knows no bounds, without any reserve or confidence in my own merits.

But, O Lord, because Faith and Hope and all other Vertues [Page 32]will avail me nothing, without Charity; because, tho' I could remove Mountains, and work all sorts of Miracles, yet my works would be dead and sinful, unless season'd by thy Love.

Give me therefore in the third place that Charity which is the Crown of all other Vertues, and the Soul of our Good Works. I would say, Lord, Give me a fer­vent and a faithful Love to thee, whereby I shall easily overcome all seeming impossibilities, and sa­tisfie the thirst of my panting Soul, after a sincere Conversion unto thee.

REFLECT. XI. She Prays to God for a New Heart inflam'd with his Love.

FOr a Foundation of that Mi­raculous Work (which one very truly calls the chiefest Work of thy Grace) Create in me, O my God, a New Heart; a humble yet an resolute, steady and coura­gious heart, estranged from the World and its Vanities, and in short, a true Christian heart; which may possess me with the love of thee, enable me to ex­pose my Life and Fortunes for the Confession of thy Name, and render me Obedient to the Foolishness of the Cross, in the midst of a crooked and perverse Generation, amongst whom it is esteem'd a scandal to be Reli­gious.

A heart which will love thee in the midst of the severest Tryals, resisting the Concupi­scence of the Flesh, mortifying its corrupt Appetites, and irre­gular Desires.

A heart which will love thee, when I am call'd upon to evi­dence that love, by loving my Enemies, and returning them Good for Evil.

A heart which for the love of thee, will deny it self when there is any competition between the Creature, and the Creatour; which will silence all the impor­tunities of Nature, that it may become more obedient to the voice of thy Grace.

A heart which will love thee, when it must suffer for it; and will be content I should sacrifice my reputation and honour to thy Glory, in imitation of thy humble Life and opprobrious Death upon the Cross.

A heart which for the love of thee, will relinquish the favour of the Court, prefer thy Service, before the Splendour of my Fa­mily, or whatsoever is most dear to me; demonstrating here­by, that my love to thee surpasses that of the World.

Lastly, Grant, O my God, that [...] may love thee not only for thy benefits, when thou blessest me with prosperity and the abun­dance of good things in this World; but also when I am in disgrace, poverty, or any other Affliction: Learn me then to submit to the dispensations of thy Providence, and become more conformable to thy Divine Will.

For, O Lord, what testimo­nies can I give thee of my love, which will in the least answer thy love to me; nay, which are not infinitely surpass'd by [Page 44]those favours thou hast been pleased to confer upon me.

REFLECT. XII. If the Soul finds any thing in th [...] World to settle its Affection [...] upon: How much the more ear­nestly ought it to fix them up [...] God after its Conversion.

LEt me [...]ot, O my God, ha [...] ­less Zeal, Gratitude a [...] Fidelity towards thee, than [...] should have towards a Friend [...] who had offer'd to lay down h [...] life for the preservation of mine and to this superlative testimon [...] of his love did continually add [...] thousand other benefits.

Since thou hast been pleas'd [...] humble thy self, O my God, [...] making me offers of thy Gra [...] and Favour, and loading [...] [Page 45]with thy Benefits; let me not forget thee, doubt of thy Mer­cy, or wilfully shut my eyes, and neglect to pay thee those acknowledgments of thy love and bounty, which in strict Justice is but my reasonable service.

For is it just, that I who pre­tend to act upon Principles of Generosity, who boast of my good Nature, Affection, Inte­grity and Gratitude towards my Friends, should be defective only in my Duty towards God? living without Faith, without Love, or so much as the Acknowledgment of his Benefits. Is it just, that I (a poor miserable creature, who owe all that I have unto my glorious Creatour) should offer up to him only faint acknow­legdments, fickle desires, and in truth the least part of my self?

Is it just, that I who have been [Page 46]so industrious to gratifie my Idol-passions, who never forgot any thing which might conduce to their satisfaction, should com­plain of the difficulty and im­possibility of placing them upon their due object, and devoting my heart to the love of thee?

Lastly, Is it possible, that the soul which thou didst create to be the Temple of thy Divine Love, should not be perswaded to return unto thee, the center of its happiness, after it has wandred a thousand and a thou­sand times from the way of thy Commandments, unless thou art pleas'd to prepare its paths, and draw it to thy self with the cords of thy Grace? No, Lord▪ this is not reasonable: and there­fore (maugre all the opposition I find in my corrupt nature in sub­mitting my self to the easie yoak of thy Commandments) [Page 47]thy love which predominates in my Soul above the love of the world, the creature, or my self, shall unite me inseparably unto thee by the inexhaustible love of [...]esus Christ.

By that love, which has taught me by experience, that there is nothing in this World worthy my friendship, nothing but con­tinual troubles, and base ingra­titude; which has discover'd to me by these gentle Corrections, that thou art a jealous God, and requirest the sacrifice of my whole heart unto thee, in ac­knowledgment of thy infinite Mercies, my Infidelity, and the sacrilegious misplacing of my Af­fections.

Ah Lord, since thou requirest nothing to prepare me for the pardon of my sins, but the cul­tivating of my love and the con­version of my heart unto thee; [Page 48]Behold here is a heart ready to receive thy Commands, ready to obey thee, which is, truly to love thee; ready to under­go any thing, which condu­ces to the advancement of thy Glory, or the salvation of my Soul.

REFLECT. XIII That a Penitent Soul should not examine what Sins are Dam­nable and what not, but avoid all appearance of Evil, every thing which may displease God; lest indulging it self in lesser crimes, it relapse at last into Habitual Debauchery.

IF it is thy pleasure to make my Repentance in some measure answer my Crimes, to prolong my life, ond punish me in the [Page 49]same place where my Offences were commited; If it is thy pleasure to make my Sins my pu­nishment, and those Lusts which I have hitherto idoliz'd the Exe­cutioners of thy Justice; my heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: Nevertheless, Grant that I may be preserv'd in my Integri­ty thereby, that my present A­version to sinful Pleasures may be an Antidote sufficient to de­fend me from the infected breath of popular Applause: that my Repentaance may be more plea­sing to thee, and profitable to my self.

But, O Lord, let me not only be preserved from those Noto­rious Crimes which this day ren­der me the Object of thy Mercy; but grant also, that I may hate Sin more for the Malignity of its Nature, than from the Dread of thy Vengeance; let my Aversion [Page 50]to it, proceed rather from thy love, than any respect to my self; that is, let me abhor it more for displeasing thee, than because it would be my ruin.

Let me not with the greatest part of the World, nicely weigh how much Carnal Liberty I may take, and yet continue in a state of salvation; but let me avoid every thing which displeases thee, as well as those grosser acts of sin, which will certainly damn my soul.

For what is more impious, O my God, than to say, I know that this Action will displease thee, that this Temptation is alluring, that these Pleasures ob­struct the Emanations of thy Grace; and in short, that the Vanities of this World are at enmity to the life of Godliness; and yet I am resolv'd to venter on them, to disregard the all-seeing [Page 51]Eye of a jealous God, the Remorse of my own Con­science: and all this because I am assured, that God is a mer­ciful God, that he loves me, and is willing to pass by my Of­fences.

For is not this Way of Reason­ing us'd by the greatest part of those servile Souls, whose Reli­gious Actions proceed more from fear of the Devil, than out of love to God?

May not this Neglect of thy Grace, (which these Men esteem so small an Offence) grieve thy Holy Spirit, and become the Occasion of their Eternal Re­probation?

For the Devil, by tempting us at first to smaller Crimes, insi­nuates himself into our Affe­ctions, and by degrees renders the most detestable sins familiar; this he knows is the surest way [Page 52]to destroy us, for by little and little it weakens the love and fear of God in our Souls, it gives him possession of our hearts, and at last delivers them up unto him for a prey.

For who knows, but this va­riety of company, this vain and frothy conversation which fills my heart with frivolous Desires, and weakens the Influences of thy Grace, may in the end seduce me from the simplicity of thy Word, and the observation of thy Holy Law?

Who knows but thou mayest leave me to my self, when thou perceivest that my Disobedience and Ingratitude towards thee, proceeds from the abuse of thy Grace?

In fine, Who knows but the Splendour of Worldly Pomp, which is continually before my eyes; which I behold with so [Page 53]much complacency, and those Maxims of Carnal policy which are perpetually sounding in my ears; may at last render me for­getful of those Solemn Protesta­tions, which but a few days ago, I made unto thee; when with Tears and Sighs, I so earnestly besought thee, to have Mercy on me, and to deliver me from the jaws of Death.

REFLECT. XIV. She prays unto God instantly, that he would be pleas'd to knock off those Chains which unite her Affections to the Creature; to grant her fresh Recruits of his Mercy, and Grace to make the right use of them.

AH Lord, who art terrible only to stubborn and impe­nitent Offenders, let not my In­gratitude divert the benign de­signs of thy Mercy unto my Soul; let not that sickness (by which thou didst intend to awaken me and bring me nearer to thy self) harden my heart, and fill up the measure of my sins.

Let not the return of my Life and Health bring along with it those Vicious Habits and that Inordinate Love of the Pomps [Page 55]and Vanities of the World, which I so passionately renounc'd when the Terrors of Death were upon me, when the Sight of my Sins and the Torments of Hell made all my Joints tremble, and my Knees smite together.

Deliver me also, from my self, O my God, from that natural inclination of my Will to all that is Evil, and that aversion to Good, which from time to time prevails with me to put off my Repentance.

Make thy Arm bear and break asunder those Bonds which unite my Affections too close to the Creature, and engage me too earnestly in the love of my self.

Hear me when I cry unto thee for fresh supplys of thy Mercy, and redeem me from the vain con­versation of the World.

But above all let that Grace, that Love, that Bounty, (with which I am almost overwhelmed) kindly operate upon my Soul; and after they have made me sen­sible, how much a stranger my heart is to those Resolutions, which the Terror of thy ap­proaching Judgments extorted from me; then let them accomplish those Gracious Purposes, for which they were sent by thy In­dulgent Providence.

Lastly, Let not the hard­ness of my heart constrain thy Mercy to give place to Justice, let it not render thy Fatherly Corrections ineffectual, or pro­voke thee to leave me to my self, and give me up to my Unmortifi'd Affections: Grant me (with Tears I beseech thee) Grant me thy Love; for without it I have no Strength, no Merit, and by its assistance I shall be able to sur­mount [Page 57]all the Difficulties which obstruct my Conversion, and to persevere to the end in the Way of thy Commandments.

REFLECT. XV. What kind of Life that Person ought to lead who is under a Ne­cessity, of Conversing much in the World; that 'tis her Duty to resist whatsoever is contrary to the Commands of Jesus Christ.

ENlighten the Faculties of my Soul, O my God with that Divine Love, which will shew me the vanity of these transient Enjoyments, and enable me pati­tenly to bear my DISGRACEFUL BANISHMENT.

Imprint in my Mind such lively Idaea's of thy Mercy, and such grateful Resentments of thy Be­nefits, [Page 58]as may be always before my eyes, and produce a real change in my heart; a sure sign of my amendment by thy health­ful Corrections: Let a Good Life be the effect of my earnest desires to give my self up to thee, let me chuse to die a thousand times rather than offend thee; and let me be found, at thy coming, amongst those Wise Virgins who have trimm'd their Lamps with Good Works.

And tho' for the most part those persons who would pass from one Extream to another in a Moment, from the most dege­nerate Debauchery, to the high­est Pitch of Devotion, are un­successful in their endeavours, and finish nothing, because they undertake too much; yet I can­not give bounds to my desires, I cannot but wish to love thee as much as I am able: 'tis this which [Page 59]above all things I thirst after; and to this end, I beseech thee, Enliven my Impotent Endeavours with thy Grace.

I will not defer my Repen­tance, O my God, until the Night of thy Justice overtakes me, when no man can work; but I will be up and be doing, as soon as ever the day of thy Grace springs from on high, and en­deavour to work out my Salva­tion: I will not ask councel of my Lusts, or deliberate with my self, whether 'tis time to forsake my vicious conversation, and be­come a new creature: Nor am I so vain as to think my self ca­pable of great matters; For I am conscious of my own Wants, my Sluggishness, and my incon­stancy, and therefore with eyes lift up to Heaven, I patiently ex­pect the dawning of thy love, and the gentle influences of thy Grace upon my soul.

I will begin to magnifie thy Mercies amongst those who main­tain a continual Trafick of Sin and Vanity, with whom my Discourse us'd to be about Riches, Honours, Pleasures, and Prospe­rity.

I will declare to those persons who worship nothing but their. Interest, that thou art my God, the only Object of my Adora­tion; that in the enjoyment of thy Favour, consists all my Riches, my Grandeur, and my Happiness; that all I have is in thy hands, and that when thou hast consum­mated the Great Work of my Conversion, I shall be more hap­py, than if I had Conquer'd all the Kingdoms of the World.

I will forsake that frothy and effeminate Company with whom I have lost so much precious time; which I will endeavour to redeem by convincing them, that [Page 61]the unprofitable, vain and idle course of life which they look upon as their Priviledge, will destroy the health of their Ever­lasting Souls.

If I cannot attain to be Emi­nently Religious, I will endea­vour to be as good as I can; if I cannot produce the testmonies of an ardent Affection, I will de­dicate to thee my Infant Love; if my Faith is not so Active as that of the humble Centurian, (which inclined thee to give a present return unto his Prayers) yet I will take advice of thy Mi­nisters, and with united Prayers, Implore the Augmentation of it.

That I may live up to those Religious Principles, which thou hast planted in my Soul, I will dread the Company of those de­bauch'd Wretches, who glory in their Wickedness, and (as the [Page 62]Holy Scripture speaks) have not God in all their thoughts.

Yea, Lord, I will break off all engagements with those profess'd Libertines, whose society instilis Irreligion into our Minds, and is a blemish to the most unspotted Reputation; who puff us up with such an opinion of our selves, as justly merits the desertion of thy grace; and guild over their Mon­strous Vices with the specious Names of good Nature and Ho­nour: Tho' their Persons and Hu­mour may be agreeable to me, yet I am resolv'd faithfully to perform these Vows which I have made unto thee, O my God; and that hence­forwards I will not maintain any strict Correspondence, Familia­rity or Friendship with them. For certainly the hating of those who hate thee, is but a small acknow­ledgment of thy infinite love.

REFLECT. XVI. That she should associate her self with those persons who truly fear God, and that she ought not to entangle her self again in those things which the World calls State, Riches, Fortune, and Gran­deur.

O Lord, in whose hands are the hearts of men, and who turnest them whether soever thou pleasest; change the inclina­tions of my Soul, and sanctifie my Love, that in the choice of my Friends, I may regard more thy Grace, than any Natural Endowments; rather the edi­fying of my self, and the season­ing my heart with thy holy Truths, than my own Diver­sion.

For thou knowest, Lord, how insensibly those things which I frequently behold, make impres­sions upon my mind; how con­formable I am to the company with which I converse; and how wonderfully good or bad Ex­amples influence my Life and Conversation.

Grant therefore, O my Lord and my God, that I may take de­light in the Company of Ver­tuous and Religious Men; that instead of talking about the World and it vanities my di­scourse may be concerning Eter­nity, thy Grace, thy Greatness, and those infinite Mercies which thou hast been pleased to bestow upon my Soul; and if those im­pressions which sin has left upon my mind, should for the present render me averse to these inno­cent pleasures; if the taint of my corrupt Nature should dis­relish [Page 65]these Diversions which yield more solid satisfaction, than the most sensual enjoyments of this World; then I beseech thee, to enlighten my Under­standing with thy Grace and strengthen my Faith, to with­hold me from, gratifying my in­ordinate Appetites, to work in me a repentance for those sins which render me incapable of the sweet Comforts of thy Holy Spirit.

For, O Lord, if thou dost not expect that I should exercise much Rigour on my Body, 'tis because I should be more fervent in Spirit, and mortifie my cor­rupt Appetites the more? for a deep sense of thy Death and Suf­ferings, is absolutely necessary to restore the health of my Soul.

Now seeing the best way to rectifie my warp'd desires, is to bend them towards the contrary [Page 66]extream, Grant that the by as of my corrupt Nature may never p [...]evail on me, to bestow so much as one favourable look on my divorced Lusts; for 'tis but reasonable that I should punish my self for my too earnest pursuits of sensual pleasure, by mortify­ing those Irregular Appetites, and denying my self even Lawful Diversions; it is but just, that I who have trifled away so much time on the Stage of the World should retire my self from those pleasures, which are the fewel o [...] my inordinate lusts; and den [...] my self, the World and all its pleasures, that I may be truly the Disciple of the Lord Jesus.

Let the certain assurance of a future Life, O my God, demon­strate to me the Frailty and Va­nity of those things which we call State, Wealth, Fortune, and Grandeur; Let me not (with [Page 67]the greatest part of the World) engage all the force of my Affe­ctions in the pursuit of them; as if there were no future Life, Happiness, or Eternity: Let me esteem them according to their true value; but let me place my Affections only upon that solid good, where true Joys are to be found. For how can any real Contentment proceed from such empty Trifles? How can any last­ing satisfaction be built upon such fading Enjoyments? which make themselves wings and fly away, when we think we have the surest possession of them.

Lastly, Let me contemplate thy Works in the Government of the World; in which (as in the Scene of a Comedy) Provi­dence orders the Persons, dispo­ses the Riches and Honours, and lulls asleep the generality of Mankind; who being rouz'd up [Page 68]at the end of the Act, stand amaz'd, that they have been all the while in a Dream, that the gaudy Apparitions are vanish'd, and nothing left but dust and smoak. Yea, Lord, I confess that after I have throughly ransack'd all the stores of sensual Enjoy­ments, I cannot find any real sa­tisfaction or lasting pleasure; but only in thy Love and thy Service.

REFLECT. XVII. That Charity towards our Neigh­bour obliges us carefully to avoid not only every Action which may be injurious to his Life, Goods, and Reputation; but also de­tracting Speeches, and foolish jesting.

O That my Soul might be in­spir'd with thy Love, O my God; that it might be my only Treasure, my Glory, and my Delight; that those chaste and Divine Pleasures which flow from it, might enlighten my Un­derstanding and allure my Will [...]o cleave unto thee; that it might work in me a hearty sor­row for my past Offences, and a holy fear of thy Divine Majesty; that it might take possession of my Soul, and not endure the [Page 70]most darling lust to lurk therein. O that my love to my Neigh­hour might in some measure an­swer thy love to me, that I might love his Soul above my own Life, and never be prevaild upon, for the gain of the whole World, to wound my Conscience, by injuring him either in estate, or good name.

But since generally nothing is esteem'd a breach of Charity towards our Neighbour, but such open Violence, or abusive Lan­guage, as a sober Heathen would blush at; since few persons make a conscience of those Jears, which touch a man to the quick, those Genteel ways of less'ning his Reputation, by insinuating his Frailties, and ridiculing his Hu­mour, because 'tis done in sport, and for diversion of the Compa­ny: Therefore, I beseech thee, O Lord, open my eyes, and con­vince [Page 71]me, that these sins (which I am apt to call pardonable In­firmities) displease thee the more, in that they are agreeable to our corrupt Natures, and the genuine off spring of self-love.

Let me heartily detest this mischievous diversion, to which I have been too much given up; let my sorrow for this sin in some measure equal the pleasure I took in it; and let that which was the great Incentive of my Guilt, produce a Fountain of Tears to blot it out.

For is it not highly reasonable, O Lord, that I should bewail that Mirth whereby I have injur'd my Neighbour, and undone my self; and that Laughter which has cost me my Soul, and the Fa­vour of my God? Is it not just, that seeing I cannot make any extraordinary demonstrations of my Repentance and Love to [Page 72]thee; I should testifie the since­rity of my Intentions, by ab­staining from every thing which gratifies my Natural Corruption; that by a discreet reservedness in my discourse for the future, I should endeavour to make a­mends for the former lavishness of my Tongue; and by casting out all those sins which have offended thee, invite thy return into the Temple of my Soul?

Whensoever therefore, O my God, I have any desires to con­form my self to the World, to gratisie my depraved Appetites, or to shew the gayety of my Hu­mour; whensoever these sinful de­lights come into my mind, and begin to blow up the sparks of my corruption; whensoever I per­ceive these motions of compla­cency towards my self, and envy against my Neighbour, these fer­ments of my passions, and melan­choly [Page 73]distemper of my mind, which if in the least encouraged, will easily get the better of me: Then let me consider, O Lord, that if I do not carefully suppress these first motions to sin, I resign up my Soul to its most inveterate Enemies: and on the contrary, if I nip them in the bud, if I sacrifice my passions and my plea­sures unto thee, I shall encline thee to have Mercy upon me, and to blot out my Offences, I shall give thee the Homage of a contrite and penitent Heart, In which thou art well pleased.

Shew me therefore, that these are the Fruits worthy of Repentance; these are the Restitutions thou requirest of me, and the choicest Victims my love can offer up.

REFLECT. XVIII. That she ought to desire of God the Gift of Prayer? which is the only means the Soul can make use of to corfirm its wavering Resolu­tions.

O God, who takest delight in rewarding that servant, who has been faithful in a few things, supply the indigency of my love out of the abundance of thy good­ness; Let its shallow streams be swallow'd up in the vast Ocean of thy Divine Charity, lose them­selves in it, and be mixed with it, that so it may be always conform­able unto thine.

For I confess my frailty, that my Heart is an ungrateful and barren Soil, producing nothing but Briers and Thorns, unless cultivated by thy Grace; Water [Page 75]it therefore, O Lord, with the Dew of Heaven, which gives fruitfulness to the Plants, and paints the Flowers; which inclines our wills, and affects our hearts; which after it has produc'd in our Soul, Works worthy of Repen­tance, protects them from those scorching beams, the flames of our lust, and preserves them safe unto the Harvest.

This is the comfortable hope and earnest desire of thy poor servant, that which sustains him in this tedious Pilgrimage, whilst he languishes with expectation of the Beatifical Vision.

But that thy Inspirations may have the desired effect upon my Soul, that I may receive them with suitable affections, that I may prepare my heart for so great favours which thou art pleas'd to bestow upon it. With my eyes and hands lift up to [Page 76]Heaven, I will meet these Bles­sings, I will forsake every sin which unfits me for them, and do all the good thy Grace shall enable me to perform. And that the streams of thy Mercy may never fail me, a poor thirsty sin­ner, I will continually encrease them with my Tears; that is to say, Lord, by an hearty repen­tance and an affectionate grief for having so often offended thee.

And since Prayer is the Chan­nel by which thou conveyest thy Grace and thy Light into our Souls, since it is the most fra­grant Incence I can offer up unto thee, for obtaining of fresh Mer­cies; teach me to Pray unto thee with Reverence, with the Adora­tion of all my Faculties, and with my whole Heart.

And that I may the more de­voutly perform this Duty, shew me the Necessity, and the Advan­tage [Page 77]of it, take away their sur­prise, which the very name of Prayer is apt to produce in me, and shew me that 'tis not so diffi­cult, so tiresom a Duty as some persons represent it to them­selves, who are ignorant that as in thy House there are many Man­sions, so there are different ways of conversing with thee; some of which require only the since­rity of our Hearts.

REELECT. XIX. What the Nature of Prayer is, and how faithful a Penitent Soul ought to be to its Resolutions of constantly performing this Holy Exercise.

'TIs true, Lord, that the Prayer of a Devout Soul, (who has retir'd himself from the World, and is fill'd with the Joys of thy Holy Spirit) is like a Box of precious Ointment, which as soon as ever it ap­proaches the fire, sends forth a fragrant Odour: and that the Croans of a poor Creature, who lies groveling on the Earth, who only crawls on in the path of Vertue are like troubled Wa­ters, which must be distil'd drop by drop, before they will afford any useful Liquor.

Nevertheress, O my God, it seems most reasonable (that since Prayer is only a lifting up of our hearts unto thee, in which we lay before thee our Wants and beg Supplies) I say, it seems most reasonable to me, that she who is tormoiled with the Affairs of the World, who finds her self in a languish­ing Condition, harras'd by a thousand Miseries, and surround­ed with a thousand Dangers; is under a more pressing neces­sity of Praying to thee, than the Religious person who is hedg'd about with thy Mer­cies.

It appears highly reasonable to me, not only that she is un­der a greater necessity, but also that she is better disposed to perform this Duty of Prayer, than one who is more habitually devout; because she cannot chuse [Page 80]but do it, whether she thinks of it or no: For if 'tis natural for a poor man to ask an Alms, for a sick man to bemoan himself, and for one in danger to lift up his eyes towards Heaven; How much more natural is it for that Soul to pray unto his God, who is continually pressed with these three Calamities; who is always poor, always sick, and always in danger, the three chief hinges upon which this Duty turns.

Therefore that I may delight my self in this Angelick Exercise, teach me, O my God, that Prayer is nothing else but a pleasing converse between the Soul and its Creator; a Torch which dispels the darkness of its un­derstanding, and a Glass which truly represents all its imperfe­ctions.

An Eloquent Preacher, who Imprints the Law of God in our Minds; a faithful Guide, who conducts us safely through the strait Way of our Salvati­on; a sweet Sleep, which gives the Soul repose in the Arms of God's Providence; a Holy Joy, which renders sinful pleasures nauseous, and all senful delights insipid, in comparison with those of the Cross.

A comfortable contemplation of our latter end, which tames our Appetites with the thoughts of Death, which sweetens his ap­proaches with the Expectation of Eternity, and an ardent Desire of the Beatifical Vision.

Lastly, 'Tis the Crucifixion of our Passions, the Mortification of our Self-love, and the Resurrecti­on of the Grace of Jesus Christ in our Souls.

Prepare therefore the Palate of my Soul, O my God, that it may relish this delicious Man­na: for the only way to per­severe to the end in thy Com­mandnients, in the midst of a crooked and perverse Genera­tion, to slight the World and all its Vanities, and to love thee above all things, is to converse with thee by Prayer, not only as with our Father and our God, but as with our most affectionate and familiar Friend. I would say, Lord, the only way to lay before thee all those Passions which tyrannise in our Minds, all those terrible Objects which fright us, all those Frailties which humble us, all those Sorrows which consume us, all those Griefs which rend us; and to delineate all the confusion of our Minds, is to come unto thee, (as holy David did) and lay [Page 83]all our Affictions, all the bur­then of our Souls, and all our Prayers at the Foot-stool of thy Throne.

For alas! if our Self-love takes so much pleasure in relating our Afflictions to our impotent Friends, who can do nothing but hear and pity them; how much greater comfort should it be, that we are encouraged to pour out our Wants before a God, who, if he pleases, can help us; who is oftentimes more delighted to see a Soul humbled by its Misery, than elated with the Eminent In­stances of its Vertue.

Incline me therefore, O my God, to spend some moments every day at the Foot-stool of thy Throne, and let me not lie poring on a Picture, or repeat my Prayers from a Book which I do not understand; but let the Subject of my Devotions be, [Page 84]my own Wants, and whatsoe­ver may render me more humble. For I am too sensible of my own Imperfections, to distract my Mind with other Objects, besides my own Misery and the infinite Mercy of my God.

REFLECT. XX. That the Misery to which Sin has reduc'd us, ought to be the Sub­ject of our Prayers, and that 'tis good to begin them with the Considerations of the stupendi­ous Mysterie of our Saviour's Passion.

ALas! how can I meditate on my Vileness, who am puft up with Pride, who can only Pray unto thee, to break off my Ambition and Vain-glory, which like unmanagable Horses, [Page 85]precipitate my Soul into the Abyss of thy fiery Indignation.

How can I hearken to thy Word, or taste the sweet Com­forts of thy Holy Spirit, who am surrounded with a thousand Passions, a thousand Vanities, which distract my thoughts, when I come to appear before thee? What can I do more, than Groan within my self, when, as the Royal Psalmist has it, my feet are hurt with the fetters of sin, and I am in Captivity to my Un­mortified Affections; until the gentle Influences of thy Grace create in my heart a love to thy Law.

How can I lift up my self to Heaven, whilst my Affections are groveling on the Earth? How can I contemplate thy Greatness and thy Excellencies, whilst my mind is distracted by its own Miseries, and astonished at that [Page 86]imminent danger, which only gives me space to beg thy Mercy, and to say, with the Apostles, Lord, save us, or we perish.

Nevertheless, O my Lord, since the remembrance of thy bit­ter Passion ought to be deeply engraven upon my Soul; Grant, O my God, that the beginning of my Prayer may have a respect to that adorable Mysterie, that my heart may be mollifi'd by the consideration of thy sufferings, render'd more susceptable of the impressions of thy Love and thy Grace; and Meditate with more benefit on its own Vanity.

REFLECT. XXI. That we ought not to be weary of Praying, because we do not find present Comfort, but that we should be faithful to our Resolu­tions, and have recourse to this Holy Exercise, when we are wrack'd by the greatest pains, and distress'd by the severest Af­flictions.

OH! that I could be so con­stand in my Resolutions, as every day to prostrate my self at the Foot-stool of thy Throne, at that set-time which I have conse­crated unto thee, when thou art pleas'd to give me Audience; and that nothing might divert me from performing this one thing ne­cessary.

Let me constantly throw my self at thy feet, in whatsoever condition my Soul may be; to the end that when distractions and barrenness of mind hinder me from fixing my thoughts upon thee, or speaking of any thing, but those Vanities which have taken possession of my heart; then the labour which I undergo, those painful pangs which I endure, and those irk­som attempts which I make to pour forth a Prayer, may render it more acceptable unto thee.

Let me not fancy, that thou hast abandoned me, because my mind is sometimes over­whelmed with the load of my Corruption, because at such a time as this I cannot form so much as one good thought: For I will still look up and pray unto thee; I will say with that great [Page 89]King, the holy David, I am like a beast before thee, without spirit, without speech, and without con­sideration.

Tho' I cannot perform this Duty with a steady intention of mind, yet I will not depart from the Foot-stool of thy Throne; I will pray unto thee with my Heart and with my Will, I will put my trust in thy Goodness; and tho' thou may'st not for the present unite my Soul unto thy self, by the sweet influ­ences of thy Grace, yet thou wilt accept of my endeavour in this deplorable condition, and esteem it as a testimony of my sincere af­fection, that it cleaves unto thee, as well when thou art pleased to withdraw thy Comforts, as when it enjoys thy ravishing Consolati­ons.

But, good Lord, let me not only Pray unto thee with my Understanding, and with my Tongue, but also with my Heart; Let me not only Pray unto thee in my Closet, and in the Church, where the conside­ration of thy Divine Presence inspires me with Devotion; but grant, O my God, that by Acts of Faith, Hope, and Cha­rity, I may consecrate unto thee, the Oratory of my Heart; in which I will offer up the Sacrifice of Prayer; For the Devotion of a true Christian is not con­fin'd to Words, but extends it self unto his Thoughts and Acti­ons, in all Places and upon all Occasions.

I will do this in the midst of my Wordly Business, nay in the midst of my Diversions, when retiring my self into that Closet of my Breast, which is [Page 91]dedicated to thee alone, where no eye but thine sees me; I will address my prayer unto thee.

When I find my self most ex­pos'd to Temptation, when I have the greatest sense of my ovvn Weakness; when Self-love most Tyrannizes over me, and the svveet poyson of pleasure most allures my Soul; then will I sigh most fervently unto thee, and without waiting for a suitable place, or more convenient time, I will presently lay open the Wounds of my Soul and implore thy help.

This shall be at the beginning and end of all my Actions, in the Morning and at Night; in the midst of my Journeys my heart shall take thee for its Polar Star; it shall relye upon thee in every condition, yield it self up to thy Conduct, and implore the succours of thy Grace. And [Page 90] [Page 91] [Page 92]this will be done with the greater ease, because I shall better express my own vvants and my entire de­pendance on thy Mercy, by one single sigh, which proceeds from the bottom of my Oppressed Heart, than by the most prolix Devotions.

I will joyn vvith thy Saints, and praise thee in thy Sanctuary with my Lips and my vvith voice; but I will also Pray unto thee with Sighs ahd Groans unutter­able; in my greatest dangers, and under the most violent pains I will look up unto thee, and in all the actions of my life, with holy David, I will have thee always before my eyes.

REFLECT. XXII. The indispensable Necessity of Pray­er, without which 'tis impossible to have any serious thoughts of our Salvation.

WHat is that Soul, O my God, who lives in this World without Prayer? I speak not of those persons who only mind their Pleasures, and pro­viding for their Bodies, who are Christians in Name only, and may be more fitly rank'd amongst brute Beasts, than reasonable Creatures.

But I mean those who frequent­ly reflect upon themselves, who consider to what end a Rational Soul was given them, and domi­nion over the rest of the Crea­tion.

Who consider that there is a God; I mean, are convinc'd, that none but Fools doubt of it.

Who consider how it comes to pass, that those persons who believe the Histories of Alexander and Caesar, yet question that of Jesus Christ.

Who consider whether that Faith which was propagated by twelve poor Fishermen, and con­firm'd by an infinite number of Miracles wrought in the sight of all nations, can now reasonably be call'd in question.

Who consider whether that Army of Martyrs, who seal'd this Faith with their Blood, are not a sufficient cloud of Witnesses to evince its Truth.

Who consider whether all those Prophesies in the Old Te­stament, concerning the Coming [Page 95]and Kingdom of the Messiah which have been punctually ac­complish'd, ought to pass for Fables.

Who consider those incom­prehensible Mysteries, the Ef­fects of the Omnipotent Grace of Jesus Christ, and his infinite Love towards us his poor Crea­tures.

Lastly, Who consider all God's wonderful Works upon their Souls, that admirable Conduct, which at the same enlightneth our Understandings, by his Fa­therly Corrections, and preserves us, which by his Divine Pro­vidence orders all things for some end best known unto him­self; and makes every thing tend to the welfare and advantage of his Elect.

'Tis for these persons (who having the clouds of their Un­derstandings dispell'd by the light of these indubitable truths, yet are presently blinded by the vanities of the World) 'tis for their Good, as well as my own, I consider, That a Soul in this World, without Prayer, with­out reflection, and without Re­liance upon God's Providence, is like a Ship in the midst of a Tempest, without a Pilot, like a Man who fancies himself won­derfully enlightned and yet is blinded with the thinkest Mists of Ignorance and Error.

He is like that person who fancies he knows God, has Faith, Hope, and Charity, and yet adores his Idol-passions; he is like a Traveller in a strange Country, without either Guide or Compass, who the faster he [Page 97]walks, the farther he wanders from his Home.

He is like that person who be­ing tumbled into the bottom of a deep Pit, yet will not make use of the Cord which is let down to draw him up.

Lastly, He is like that foolish builder, who endeavours to erect a Magnificent Pallace, without a Foundation.

For how can he work out his Salvation, who has not God in all his thoughts? How can he observe his Laws, and obey his Command­ments, who never thinks on them? How can he bridle his Tongue, and all his head-strong Passions, without the assistance of God's Grace? And how can he ob­tain this Grace, who will not be at the pains to ask it? How can he avoid falling into Despair, who goes on in a sinful course of [Page 98]life, which he knows will end in the Damnation of his Soul? Who either uses the most pre­posterous means imaginable to quiet his Conscience; that is, by putting out of his mind the thoughts of another Life, an Eternity, and a God; or else doth not place his trust in him.

In fine, How can he be a good Christian and love Jesus Christ, who does not know him, does not consider that he dy'd for us, does not meditate on his Life, his Actions, or his Holy Gospel?

REFLECT. XXIII. She desires of God the Gift of Prayer, that she may make Death, Eternity, and God's Judgments the Subject of it; which are the proper means to season our Souls with the Fear of God.

AH Lord, since I am convinc'd, that Prayer (which is nothing but the lifting up of our Souls unto thee, our continual endea­vour to pluck down the strong­holds of Satan, and establish the Kingdom of Jesus Christ) is so easie, so necessary and so Profi­tacle a Duty.

Since I am assured by thy Holy Word, and the Examples of Holy Men, that 'tis a floating plank which will bear up my Soul in all the storms of this life, and [Page 100]convey it safe into the blessed Ha­ven of Eternity; that is, to the Hea­venly Jerusalem which is above, where all tears shall be wiped away from our eyes, and we shall enjoy those pleasures which are at thy right-hand, for evermore.

Give me an earnest Desire and Delight in Praying to thee; let it be as pleasant and familiar, as ever the Vanities of the World have been, for which I have so often hazarded the Salvation of my Soul.

But since Death is the end of all things, and the most profi­table Subject of our Meditations; Grant, O my God, that I may daily consider my last end; when (to speak in the Words of the Holy Scripture) my breath goeth forth, I return to the earth, and in that very day my thoughts perish.

That Time which will come like a Thief in the Night, and seize up­on our Souls.

That Time after which there will be no more space for Repen­tance.

That Time for which we ought to be prepared all the days of our life, that we may not be surpri­sed thereby.

That Time on which de­pends the Happiness or Mi­sery of our Souls to all Eter­nity.

O Death! how dreadful are thy Approaches to those persons who never thought of thee, who placed all their Happiness in the Goods of this World?

O Death! how terrible art thou to those men unto whom thou art, the end of their Hap­piness, and the beginning of their Sorrows.

In short, By which they are de­prived of all the Enjoyments of this World, of that Body which they so much Idoliz'd, of a Vo­luptuous Life and the gratificati­on of their Inordinate Appetites. I say, How terrible art thou to those, who never knew God, but only to offend him?

But then how much more amazing is the Contemplation of Eternity, to those men who never pursu'd any other Happi­ness, but what this life affords; who never thought of Repen­tance and forsaking their sins, until they were unable to pur­sue their Lusts, and rendred in­capable to receive the impressi­ons of any other Passion, but Fear?

O Eternity, Eternity! how exquisitely Tormenting are the thoughts of thee to that per­son, [Page 103]who beholds Hell ready to receive him for the punish­ment of their sins, who dares not Hope in God's Mercy, but would think himself sufficiently happy, could he but have the same end with the Beasts that perish.

And finally, O Eternity! How dreadful are the thoughts of thee to that person, who at his last hour, finds that he cannot Love God, and yet cannot chuse but Fear him.

But, O blessed Eternity! how comfortable art thou to that per­son who has led a good Life, and mortifi'd his Corruptions in this World.

To a Sinner who is Converted, has Repented of his Sins, and has a good Foundation of Hope in thy Mercy.

To him who is accustomed to die daily, and has forsaken the World and its Vanities, before he is compelled to it by the unalte­rable Law of Nature.

In fine, to him who sincerely loves God, and enjoys in this life the earnest of Eternal Hap­piness.

REFLECT. XXIV. That she will every Day offer up unto God the Sacrifice of Thanks­giving, for opening her Eyes and converting her unto him­self. That she will Write down these Resolutions which she made at the time of her Conversion; to the end that she may be al­ways mindful of these Obliga­tions she has laid upon her self, and by which she must be Judg'd at the Last Day.

AH! Lord, who in work­ing thy Miracles dost al­ways regard some great end, Hast thou not restored my Health, that thou may'st accomplish the blessed purposes of thy Grace upon my Soul, that by a thorough conversion of my Heart unto [Page 106]thee, I might pass from this state of death, (or as the Royal Pro­phet speaks) from the Terrors of Hell, to such a Religious course of Life, as those Devout Souls led, who now sleep in the Lord; who did not presume on thy Mercy, and from thence defer their Repentance to the last Mo­ment?

Yes, Lord, I acknowledge thy Mercy in the midst of thy Judge­ments, and the constant protecti­on of thy Providence in all the Accidents of my life.

For this is the Reason why thou hast so much Afflicted me, so much distressed me, so often changed my Desires and my Resolutions, that hereby thou may'st wean me from my self.

And therefore that I may maintain an inviolable Fidelity ty towards thee for the future, [Page 107]that I may serve thee, that I may love thee, and rather die a thousand times than return again to my former Vain Conversati­on; I have Writ this Paper with my own hand, as a Register of thy Mercies, my most Intimate Resolutions, and all thy Adora­ble Truths: That if at any time I should forget my self, I might hereby be put in mind of my Du­ty, and that Model of Holy Li­ving I have resolved on; if my Faith should falter, my Hope should languish, or my Charity grow cold, and my Corruptions begin to struggle in my Soul; the reading of these Prayers and the contemplation of thy Boun­ty and thy Grace, might reduce them to their former temper.

That if at any time I should forget that Agony which the consideration of thy Justice pro­duc'd [Page 108]in my Mind, when like a condemned Malefactor on the Scaffold, I was impatient to be freed from the Terrors of Death; I might recollect my self by read­ing of these Reflections, which I writ upon this self-same Bed, where the Ministers on one side, and the Physicians on the other, gave me little Hope of my Life, or my Salvation; where I lay helpless, like a poor Beast, and could do nothing in this Great Work.

O thou God of my Salvation! in whose hands are my Soul and my Eternal Happiness, who didst reprieve me from the Grave, and didst crown me with thy Mer­cies, and fill my Soul with Holy Desires, who hast renow'd my Age, as that of an Eagle; who hast pro­mised, that thy Anger shall not endure for ever against those who [Page 109]fear thee; that thou wilt not pu­nish them according to their deserts, but wilt put away their Offences as far as the East is from the West; who assurest us, that like as a Father pittieth his Children, so thou wilt have compassion on us; because thou knowest our weakness, and that we are but dust; that our most steady Resolutions are but as a Traveller who tarrieth but for a night, and as the morning dew, which soon passeth away.

Lastly, Who workest good out of the evil of our sins, and who alone canst convert me: I beseech thee therefore to turn my Heart.

Because my Soul is humbled and overwhelmed with shame and grief for displeasing thee.

Because my Soul puts its trust in thee; and languishes after the enjoyment of thy presence.

But above all, O my God, hear my humble Supplication, because I have made thee the only Object of my Love, and because thy Mer­cy rejoyces over all thy Works.

Finally, Lord, have pity on me, because I am poor and miserable, and thou art Infinitely Rich and Merciful.