THE occasion of my writing unto you proceeds from the perusall of your Non­sencicall Almanacke, or Ephemeris, as you and others may stile it, by reason it is a perfect Diary of your folly; Wherein for a Frontispeece you present us with your Brazen face. The very Effigies speakes you of a Saturnine or Malicious disposition; surely you had some ferall signe Horoscopating at birth, which makes you so brutish as not to know what belongs to humane civility, otherwise you would have spared your revileing breath (wherewith you think to blast the Clergy) to have cooled your pottage. However, I commend you, that will let the world understand by your Picture what you are, though but Emblematically; which least it should be set off with a shaddow (and so you not seeme really what you are) my Pencill doth thus delineate it.

First here's a Sattin-Cap, that's to keep in your simplicity, which might not have been taken notice of, had you but so much wit as to have kept your fooles Speculum for your owne private Contemplation. Next (Saturn like) we have many dangling snakes with their heads reverse, verifying the truth of the old Proverb, Bush naturally more haire then wit. N [...]xt, [Page 2] there's face like that of Titus-Vespasian, a squeezing degla­bing Countenance, such a one as Prognosticates the squirt to be incident unto the purses of such Patients as come to know of you whether they shall live or dye. We have next the Mole-Skin exactly tipifying your discerning faculty for mat­ter of Astrology to be more blinde then the Mole; but in stead of this Plush Jacket I think a Whip, and a jack of Apes his coate were fitter for you: the one would make you more heedfull to correct your errours, the other would become you farre better, since (at least) you are but M^r. Lillies Ape, whom you would, but cannot imitate: The Globe is next, represent­ing a Vertigo in your braine, that being possessed with the giddinesse of selfe conceit hath sent your wit a Wool-gather­ing, since which contrary to the Maxime in Phylosophy, there may be a vacuity found in your Pericranium. And this is no wonder to me at all, since I perceive your Rete mirabile to be crack'd; for the net being broak, the Bird is flown, or your Braine indeed is rather over flown with strange Chymera's of your owne hatching, without any existence in that Art you professe.

Next, that we may take notice you are a Gentleman (but sure 'tis of the younger House, who are better fed them taught) you give us a badge thereof: But not to detract any thing from the worth of that ancient Family of the Culpepers, whose merits transcend the commendation of so weak a Pen, & ther­fore not to say and thing of them, least I should rather detract then ad to their worth; my speech is to you, who knowes, or at least should know, that honour sprung at first either from the Sword or Gowne, both which without question made that family honourable. Sed ole quid hoc at te? Nam Genus & Proavi & quae nos non fecimus ipst, vix ea nostra vocentur. Howe­ver, you let us understand for your Armes, you have the Lyon-Passant, which makes you passe for such a beast, that's of a ra­vening disposition, which the Moone crescent more fully by her light discovers unto us, shewing you to be somewhat [Page 3] Lunatick, and rather the more, because she is towards the full. Had you been a right Gentleman (as by this Coat you intend the world should take notice) you would have scorn'd so much to have vilified the Gowne; but by how much the Gown stands in opposition to your better thoughts, by so much you are degenerated from a Gentleman, yea from a man to a beast: I wonder not now, you tell us you were no Academick, if you had, I should have concluded you at the highest Pitch, to have been but a Sopho-moore, or at least one of the ruder sort of youth, whom Aristotle himselfe excludes from his Ethick Lecture; for you have wit and manners both a like, [...], that is (least you should run to the West­misterian Schoole-boyes to english it) in a distinct Pro­portion, so that when the Zenith & Nadir may be brought to meet, we may then expect a conversion of these in you; in the Interim I would have you goe to schoole, and forme As in presenti. But I'le now come to your Errours, which you'le say perhaps were wilfully commited, that we might know you are a man for humanum est errare; yet such palpable ones shew you to be a bungler, rather then an Artist, for which you need not feare we should deifie you, unlesse t'were to place you in a fools Paradice.

The Cardinall Errour (on which many other hang) concerns the Suns ingresse into the Vernall Equinoxe, or rather according to Copernicus, the Earths saluting, the first point of Libra, wherein you present us with such a face of heaven (with what face you can do it, I know not) in which the first of the first decanate of Scorpio ascends; I verily beleeve and am sure, the Scheam is right acccord­ing to that given time; but you like an unskilfull Musitian have made a discord by not keeping true time for the Suns entrance into Aries, by this spoyling that harmonious consent of the Spheares musick: for listen to Master Lilly, Booker, Wharton and Wing, and you'le heare [Page 4] all of them, sounding an Unisome, their severall Scheams like so many well tun'd instrument [...], make up a harmony, whereas yours for want of tuning comes basely off, and makes a jarre; and this because you have scru'd your pegs too high; for whereas they differ some few scruples (and that's no scruple in point of Art) from each other for time, you are so singular, that you have marr'd all in dissenting from them al by no lesse then an houre & four­teen minutes: I see now you are omnium horarum home, and yet I much wonder (since you can temporize so well) that you should be no better a time observer. I will not tell you, the eighth day of March is put down for the ninth in the square, that may happen through the Printers mistake, sure I am the other eight houres fifty eight mi­nutes P.M. cannot (by reason of your position of the Heavens for that moment) except for want of true Cal­culation, and so to passe by your two figures (as truely erected as this) for the Suns entrance into both the Tro­picks, these (I say) shall be turn'd over in silence because I would listen to your Judgements.

Page 24. Your judgement (you pretend) to be ballanced by the prudent advice (come falsely) of your Brother Reason. That you two should be Kin I see little reason for it; you are not I suppose unacquainted with Doctor Simpleton, whose Plumbiosity out-ballanceth all the rea­son you have. Sed perdere quos vult Jupiter dementat. I know now who hath made you so mad a Prognosticator, and that is Jupiter in detriment; but you know your Reputa­tion can recieve no great detriment by it though you should Pay for your Pleasure with a Pox to you; else what means that bald Pate of yours, if t'were but unpe­riwig'd. Page 25. Your Authours you'le throw aside, (by what Authority I know not) onely you take your ipse dixit to be a sufficient warrant to command our credence, notwithstanding which wee'le beleeve you when we list. [Page 5] I see you are a Rebell to all Authority, and would assume a dominion in judgeing unto your self; but before you be judge in your Art, I would have you first proceed Ma­ster of Art, onely this; I'me afraid) is a degree beyond your Capacity, though I am confident you already take your selfe to be a man of degree.

Page 28. O Heavens! What have Men no more Wit yet, then to run after a company of prating Priests and Lawyers. What I pray have you to doe with Heaven? I'me afraid Heaven hath but little to doe with you, since you have so much to doe with Hell, from whence you fetch your opprobrious and calumniating termes; for your Master (who sets you on worke, and will one day truely pay you your hire) was a Detractor from the beginning. But you are a Saint forsooth for quoting a deale of Scripture; and so is the Devill, for he did as much for his owne advantage. Have Men no more Wit? Verily, had they no more then you, they'd have but a little; for what you had is here vented at once, and now your Hogs-head's empty, we may expect it should sound, though there be nothing in it. Your vilification (as you thinke) in terming the Ministers PRIESTS, is more honourable then you are aware, and therefore they are better com­pany then for your selfe. But why prating Priests? I see you will discover your selfe to be of the Athenian Sect, which counted PAUL but a babler. But take heed I advise you, least what you esteeme prating, prove at the last more then an empty sound against you: if the WORD of GOD be of no better repute with you then Winde, it shall prove such a Winde as shall scat­ter such Dust as you are from before the face of the Al­mighty.

There are more things wherein by some able Astrono­mer you stand in need to be Catechiz'd. Me thinkes you should have been better infighted in the speculative part [Page 6] of your Science, e're you adventured on the Practick, espe­cially since you intended to make it known to the world how little you know; for would an Artist commit such absurdities as may be found in you. To instance, where­as in January, all former Writers begin with the letter A, and end with it in December at the end of the yeare; con­trary to all Presidents, out of a Pragmatick humour you begin with G, overthrowing by this all Auncient Me­thod; but what talke I of this which is a slender one to what follows, and that's your putting downe in this Moneth C. for the Dominicall letter in stead of D. I sup­pose you considered it was Leap-yeare, and that made you skip o're the right. If you had not told us afore­hand, we might easily discern that you had throwne your Authours aside: for had you in composing your Almanack perused Master Wings Practicall Astronomy, you could not have so grossely mistooke and took C. for D. If you are married, I would have your wife acquaint you more with the horne-booke, for I see you must to your A.B.C. You tell us of a great Eclips of the Sun (which every novice can doe) but I could tell you of what's grea­ter then that (though lesse in it selfe) and that's the smalnesse of the Suns Eccentricity, it being the least that hath been many hundred of years; but this is eccentricall to your apprehension, and so not taken notice of.

Had I roome, I would have gone on and read you over, I'le but conclude as your selfe began in the Epistle, that here's too much already, unlesse it were better: and so Sir, the reason of my Scurrility proceeds from the defect of civility in you, not any disaffection to your Noble Art, for I am

run these courses in contemplation of Ticho-Brac the ancient German Astronomer, or of the French famous Nostradamus; farre lesse of an old prattling Mother Shipton; but because their influences are perpetually set on the perpetrating of wickednesse; being incapa­ble of any change at all, whereby their far differ from the constitution of the Celestial Orbs; which are by some speculatists said, to encline mens mindes to such and such actions, though not to necessitate them thereunto.

So likewise it is worthy of our observation, how ar­tificially the spirit of delusion doth wage his warre, when as by his ballacing of the scails he makes them, sometimes to rise and other times to fall; sometimes by choller, and at other times by hopes and promises: All which he so dexterously mannages, and carryes on, as that at length, he reduceth them to believe, that it is un faire le faut, a thing which must be done; viz The patching up of a peace between parties, France and Spain, who to keep their Legions in action, must be necessitated to display their Banners against the Tribes of Israel; who as it seems are their main oppo­sites; when as alas! those said Tribes have but too many opposites amongst themselves. And the which was by wofull experience) found to be too true. For that when as that Tribe seemed to be even at the height of its flood, and prosperity; as then, their old Duke of Bouillon together with twenty five more of the chiefest pillars, fell off from them at a clap; and as then they cryed, Helpe Lord, for that honest men doe perish and de­cay, &c.

Now to the end, that the Devil may be fooled in­deed, [Page 8] that the Pope may be put by his wiles (not only by a straight way towards him by France, or by Sivi­tauecha, but by a spirit of Peace) and that the Malig­nant firebrands may be run off from their byasses and guards:

May such resolves, be taken as are most answerable to Christian pieity and wisdom; for to study and fix on possibilities; and in the first place, to wave Impossibili­ties, on the regard of an Abel-like blood, which was spilt by murtherers hands, and so to shew our selves as piously wise as the Devill is wickedly crafty: For that thereby the spirits of delusion will be intrapt, and sufficiently fooled, the Papal stratagems will be over­thrown, and the Malignant crew will be bang'd home to the purpose; notwithstanding their groundlesse to the purpose; notwithstanding their groundlesse fulminations against that King of Spain, and those Nobles whom they pretend to hold (by their said San­cta Inquisition) fetered in chains, and linked in Irons, which must needs most ridiculously retort upon them­selves; for that their pretended Sanctuary was not intended for such as they call Hereticks who neither acknowledge them, nor their Sanctuaries rights; nor doe they themselves deem those, (whom they account off as Hereticks) to be worthy of being admitted into their Purgatory.

Secondly, may the wisdom of this Common-wealth pitch upon such Christian-like resolutions, as might be answerable to the Divine Wisdomes dictates, and to wave all manner of Impossibilities, in regard of our neighbours the Hollanders; whereby the spirits of De­lusion will be confounded, and made fools off in­deed; so likewise would the Papal Stratagems on that scoare be brought to nought; and such firebrands [Page 9] will be confounded as may have entertained the like thoughts; which sundry men have fostered of the great pretended advantages, which will redound unto the Navie by the Act of Prohibition, concerning Im­portation, when as sundry well experimented per­sons, in the traffick and navigation alledge store of arguments to the contrary, which are backt and con­firmed by such persons as have all their life time stu­died and discust the advantages proper to their coun­trey men, who have observed amongst strangers those things which are grounded on truth, and on most in­fallible Principles, an infinite number of them con­cluding in one and the self same axiome, consonant unto the arguments comprehended in the sixteenth and seventeenth pages of the second part of a Sea­cabin Dialogue, of late presented to the publick View.

Finally may the wisdom of this Common-wealth take such pious and christianlike resolves in the be­half and favour of one of the tribes of Israel, beyond the English Jordan, as that thereby the Kingdome of Christ may be advanced, and manifested to all the Nations of the Earth, that so all true Israelites (in whom there is no guile) as well here as there, may at length attain unto the blessed condition of being all one in sincerity; whereby doubtlesse both the De­vill, the Pope and the Malignant crew will be out witted, confounded, and made arch fools of to some purpose.