CHAP. II. How Sheffery Morgan Travelled from hur Fathers Houſe towards London, and how he fell in Company with two of his Country-men, who were driving a Drove of Welſh Cattel to Smithfield; and what fell out in the ſharing of their Money.

SHeffery Travelled the Road, having but a ſmall Sum of Money in his Purſe, fell into ſerious Cogitations, ſometimes calling to mind the pleaſant paſtimes he met with when he was at the Vniverſity; and then thinking on his preſent miſery, that thoſe vain pleaſures had brought him to: And while he remained in this diſconſolate humour, two of his Country-men overtook him with a great Drove of Welſh Cattel; to whom he ſaid, Whether are you going; who anſwer'd We are Drovers going to Smithfield-Market, but we greatly want one to help us, then Sheffery asked them what they were to have for their pains? who anſwered a Shilling: he concluding that he was going to the ſame City, thought ſomething better then nothing, ſo he joyn'd with them, and as they Travelled hard, at laſt they came to Smithfield, where the owner gave them a whole Shilling; then was their care how to part this one piece equally amongſt them three: Sheffery being ingenious, ſaid, We'l go ſhange it for three Groats, to which they conſented, ſo going from ſtreet to ſtreet, at laſt they came to Lombardſtreet, where Sheffery ſpyed a Tray full of Groats, and try'd, here hur ſhall do it if ever: The Gentleman of the ſhop being at dinner, the Hatch was ſhut, and no body in the ſhop but an old Iackanapes, chained upon the Counter; Sheffery leaning over the Hatch, ſaid, Good Sir, will you give me three Groats for a Shilling? & held the ſhilling forth, which the Iackanapes took, and put it down into the place, where he uſed to ſee his Maſter; put money, and minding Sheffery no more but hur was very urgent with the Iackanapes for hur ſhange, and ſaid, Good Sir, what does hur intend to do? will hur give hur three groats for hur ſhilling or no? hur the Iackanapes not minding, ſtirred up hur Welſh plood, ſcaring that the Old Shentleman was minded to ſheat them, which cauſed to make a great Crowd about the door, ſo that the Gentleman of the Houſe heard them, and coming into the Shop to ſee what was the matter, began to be rough with them, doubting they intended to rob his Shop, but they tryed out, they were poor Welſhmen, that thought no hurt, but deſired to have three Groars for a Shilling: The Gentleman finding them to be poor ignorant Fellows, asked them for their ſhilling; they replyed they had given it to hur aged Father (pointing to the Iackanapes) The Gentleman in great wrath, cry dout, You Uillains, do you think I am the Son of a Iackanapes? and threatned to ſet them by the Heels; but diſcovering their ſimplicity, asked them what the Iackanapes did with it? quoth they, he put it into that Hole: ſo he ſuppoſed it might be, gave them 3 Groats, bidding them be gone; ſo away they went, Sheffery's Countrey-men to their places provided for them, but Sheffery had his Fortune to ſeek.

CHAP. II. How Sheffery being weary of London, and ſhort of Money, took a Journey toward the North; and how he got the good Will of a Sow, which prov'd the firſt riſe of Sheffery's Fortune.

SHeffery being forſaken of hur Country men, & almoſt moneyleſs, wandred too and fro feaſting hur Eyes, but ſtarving hur Belly, reſolved to travel farther towards the North: hur had not gone above 20 miles, but hur was ſurprized by the diſmol Night, and being unacquainted with the way, loſt hur ſelf, and wandred up and down, till at laſt hur hapned upon a ſmall Cotrage, and knocking at the door, he asked how for it might be to the next Town? the Old Man anſwered, he was far from any Town or Houſe except his: then Sheffery craved for Entertainment for that night; but the old man replyd, he had no convenience, but hur preſſed hard for Lodging; ſo the did man ſaid, I have no place for you, except you will lye with our old Sow; with all hur heart, quoth Sheffery. This being agreed on, they went to their Bed, and Sheffery to the Hog-ſtye, which ioyned to the Houſe, near the Did Man and Wontans Beds-head: Sheffery having but a ſorry Lodging and a turbulent Bedfellow, took no reſt at all: the old man and woman waking about midnight, fell in diſcourſe, quoth the old Woman, Husband, what if the young man ſhould fall in love with our Sow, and forthwith get her good-will to be Married? Who, quoth the old Man, ſhould be againſt her Preferment, if they like eath other? Ah! but Husband, ſhe hath been a good Old Servant to us, and if ever ſhe goes, I hope you will beſtow ſomething with her: Well, well, Wife, I ſhan't be backward, but ten or twenty pound I will beſtow if the Man be deſerving. Sheffery minding their Diſcourſe, aroſt and went into a Carrot field near by, and pull'd ſome up, and brought them to the Sow, giving her plentifully to eat, then tyed the reſt about his middle, underneath his Coat: & going into the houſe to return thanks for his nights Lodging, the Sow having taſted the ſweetneſs of the Carrats, can'd as though ſhe would have torn down the Stye, longing for more Carrots, the old Woman hearing the Sow to rave, cry'd out to her Husband, What is the matter with our Sow? Quoth Sheffery, hur can tell beſt what is the matter; for hur and I have made a match to be Marry'd, and now ſhe finding me to be gone without her, cauſeth her to rave in this ſort: The old Woman runs with ſpeed to her. Husband, and ſaid, Curs hobby Husband, I told you our Sow is in Love with the Young Man. Ah! but quoth he, that muſt be farther try'd, i'le ſee firſt whether ſhe will follow him ſooner then another; and ſetting her out, ſhe ran directly at him, and taking hold on him, as if ſhe l • ved him above others; the Did Man ſeeing this, was much ſatisfied, and called Sheffery in, and laid him down 20 pound, wiſhing them much joy together: This being done, Sheffery took hur leave of the old people and went hur way, by the ſmell of the Carrots the Sow followed him, which the old Woman ſpying, ſhe cry'd out, Come hither Miſtreſs Bride, pray ſtay and take my beſt hat with you, which ſhe did, and look'd like Mother Shtpion with her long Noſe.

CHAP. IV. How Sheffery was robbed of hur 20 pound, and how hur ſerv'd the Thief that rob'd hur.

SHeffery wandring farther, came into an uncough Lane, and there met with a High-way-man, well mounted and armed, who faſtning his eyes upon Sheffery, ſuppoſed there was money in the caſe, and welcomed hur with the uſual word Stand: Sheffery finding it was in vain to diſpute, ſoon yielded up his Purſe, the only thing the Thief-deſired, and ſetting ſpurs to his Horſe, away he rid full ſpeed, leaving Sheffery much lighter than he found him: Sheffery much troubled, went on with a light purſe, but a heavy heart, and that night wanting money, Lodged in a Barn: Not long after, Sheffery ſitting on the brink of a drawing Well, near the High-way ſide, diſtant from any Houſe; and troubling at the croſſes which happened to him, fell into a paſſion, and whilſt he was in this Agony, he which robbed him, hapned to came by, Sheffery minding him, knew him tho' he knew not Sheffery, but asked him what was the cauſe of his ſorrow? who anſwered, that he had let a bag of Money fall into the Well. At this the Thief ſeem'd forrowful, & ſaid, he would pull off his Cloaths and you ſhall let me down into the Well, & when I have found the Money. I'll call you to pull me up again: Sheffery was well pleaſed at this, ſo off comes the Chiefs apparel, and into the Bucket he gets, while Sheffery was very ready to ſet him down; which done, hur ſeeing the Road clear, and the Thief ſafe where be could not come out without help, now is the time, thought Sheffery, to deceive the deceiver; ſo pulling off his old Jerkin, by reaſon he could not deſcribe him by his Apparel, throws it down into the Well, then mounted his Horſe and rid full ſpeed night and day, till he and the Well were 60 miles aſunder; and then adventured to open his Portmantle, where he found 300 pound of money, his own 20 pound being part thereof; where we will now leave him and diſcourſe ſomething of the Thief which Sheffery left to ſearth for that Money in the Well which never was there. The Chief finding himſelf thus deceived and ſo trapann'd, that he could no ways help himſelf, was forced to continue in the Bucket, to ſafe his ſweet Life; and at laſt an Old Woman coming from the next Town to draw Water; as ſhe was winding up, ſeeing ſuch a ſtrange Beaſt in the Bucket, was ſhrewdly affrighted, for he ſtared like a dead Pig on a Market-Womans Stall; the Woman being half dead with fear, in a little time recovered her ſenſes, and made ſhift to get to the Town, where ſhe declared how ſhe was frighted at the Well; they asked what it might be; who replyed, ſhe dared not to ſtay to look on't, but without doubt it muſt be the Devil, and therefore let us all go forth with what Weapons we can get, and deſtroy him, who would deprive us of the Priviledge of the Well, and hath taken poſſeſſion of the Bucket: ſo the reſt of the old Women and Men reſolved to fight for their Priviledge, and armed themſelves with ſuch Weapons as they could get, the Men with Pirch-Forks and Clubs, and ſuch like, the Women with Diſtaffs, and ſwore by their Maiden-heads, he ſhould never eſcape their fury, ſo they drew themſelves up into a Body, and made Old Stump the Tooth-Drawer, their Captain, and the Gid Woman that brought the tydings, his Second: along they married till they came to the Well, then ſetting themſelves in order to oppoſe him, when he ſhould come out; none ſo valiant as Old Stump, who went up to the Well to beat him out of his Harbour, where he found him fitting in the Bucket, as the Did Woman had told before; and darwing of him out of the Well, he was ſo amazed to ſee ſo many old Men and women, inſomuch that he ſtrove to run for his Life, but they ſo purſued him, and ſo laid on, that they ſoon ended his days, and gave a great ſhout, for joy that they had killed the Devil.

Now let us return to Sheffery Morgan, where we left him, taking an account of the Money he found in the Chiefs Portmantle, who beholding this great ſumm of Money, reſolved if he could to raiſe his Fortune, and get him a handſome young Woman to his Wife, to the end that he might reap the full enjoyment of his Youth, ſo he took up his Lodging at the ſign of the Vnicorn, where he had not long lain, but he walked forth one day to recreate himſelf in the Fields, where by meer accident, he lit of a young Gentleman, whoſe Name was Pantillo, who had formerly been Fellow-Student with him at Cambridge, and wondring to meet Sheffery in thoſe parts, asked him where he lived? he told him that he Lodged at the White-Horſe with the Barbers-Pole in his Forehead, here in this Town. Quoth Pantillo, I live about Ten Miles hence, and came hither about Buſineſs, and I ſhould be glad to Drink one Cup of this Countrey Liquor with you: with all my heart, quoth Sheffery, and we'll go to my Lodging: So on they went until they came to the Sign of the Vnicorn, where they Houſed, and Pantillo Laughed heartily at the New-Faſhioned Horſe: But as they were Diſcourſing together, Sheffery unfolded the ſecrets of 〈2 pages missing〉 keepers in the Country gives ſuch a Crack, which makes ſuch a ſound in the Londoners ears, that they are the worſe for it a great while afterwards.

Conſ.

Honeſt Plain-dealing, I am willing to take thy advice, and ſee the Country once more: and now every thing is ſo plentiful, we will ſee what entertainment thee and I ſhall have, I'le ſtay Bartholomew-Fair at London, and thou to Sturbridge, and ſo to Yorkſhire, for there I had uſed to be much regarded among them.

Good Ale is the deareſt penniworth there; for Victuals will coſt you little or nothing if you be a Good fellow.

But honeſt Brother, prithee let me give thee ſome inſtructions in your travel: and I would deſire ſome of yours, for where you are, bid them remember me.

Plain.

Well I will, and now tell me what I ſhall do; for Plain-dealing muſt be rul'd by Conſcience, and Conſcience by Plain-dealing: for he that uſeth one, muſt uſe the other.

Conſ.

Firſt bid the Shop-keepers and Sales-men there provide them light Shops and not dark Rooms, whereby to deceive their Cuſtomers, to make them to take old cloaths inſtead of new, and courſe cloath inſtead of fine. And bid the whole ſail-men ſell good penni-worths to their Cuſtomers.

And when they truſt them not to take too much gains. For fear they get nought but Ink and Paper for their pains.

And pray bid all Trades-men here, have a care of lying, for it may be they dare not Swear for fear they are made to pay for't; and bid their Cuſtomers not believe them, when they ſay they loſe by their Commodities, or get nothing by them, for ſuch as thoſe wi • l cheat them moſt; and pray invite all the honeſt Horſe-courſers in every Fair you come to (that make much of Conſcience and Plain-dealing, and never uſe Swearing nor lying) bid them to Dinner, but to be ſure do not provide too much Victuals, for fear your company be ſo ſmall, that you muſt be glad to eat it your ſelf: and bid the Bakers remember me, and tell them you are a friend of mine, and muſt take notice of ſuch as love not Conſcience and Plain-dealing, bid them all remember thee & I; and tell them the Fair would be a great deal the better (and all fairs and Markets elſe) if they would make uſe of Conſcience and Plain-dealing in their buying and ſelling, and not uſe falſe Weights and Meaſures, and deceitfulneſs in their Trading; for light gains, and quick ſale, will make a heavy purſe.

Plain.

Well Brother Conſcience, I intend to follow thy directions; & prethee where thou goeſt bid them remember me: and let not Shop-keepers and Trades men uſe double-dealing ſo much as they do, nor keep but one ſort of Weights and Meaſures to Buy and Sell by; and let them turn out Hypocriſie out of their Shops, for a great many keeps him to be the Fore-man of the Shop inſtead of Conſcience, and ſo have deceived the people; But I hope we ſhall diſcover them all, for the people begin to find them out already: For indeed, and Forſooth, and intruth they have cheated many an honeſt man: Not an Oath but as many Lyes as you pleaſe: I adviſe all to have a care of them, and not deal with any, if you know them to be ſuch: For he that will Swear, will Lye, and he that will Lye would Swear too, if it were not in hopes to couzen you the more by his ſmooth Tongue.

Pray remember me to all the honeſt Inns and Ale-houſes in your Travels that uſeth Conſcience and Plain-dealing to their Gueſts, and tell them they will be ne'r the poorer for entertaining Conſcience. Indeed in the North-parts, and eſpecially in York-ſhire, they did uſe ſome Conſcence formerly, therefore I hope you will find ſome entertainment there.

Remember me to all our Friends at Shefield, and bid the Cutlers there not Glate their Knives ſo much as they do, nor Bromigom neither, for they leave ſo little Steel on them, that when they are uſed a while, the heat of the Meat melts all the Steel away: There is a place called Cuckolds-Haven near Shefield, where I heard the Hoſt of the houſe formerly deal ſo much with that Ware, and had ſo much Credit of his Dealers in Shefield, ſore againſt their Wills, he hath now built him this place called Cuckolds-Haven; which by report coſt his dealers three hundred pounds the Building; but good Brother Conſcience come not there: for he'l turn you out of doors; for by report he never knew you in his life, and he cares not for ſtrangers.

'Tis the trick of a Knave, you'l ſay 'tis pitty. Knaves ſhould flouriſh ſo in Town and City.

Pray Brother Conſcience bid the Clothiers in Yorkſhire to bring as much Cloath as they can in the Summer, while the weather is dry, but let them give good meaſure when they ſell it, and perſwade the People that buys it, to take enough, for fear they ſhould find none to match it when 'tis ſhrunk.

And pray adviſe all country-men and Women that comes to Markets and Fairs, to have a care how that they part from their Money; and let them not part from it to them that will take it at a venture, and never tell it, for then they will have nothing for it, but trouble to find it again.

And pray let all Country-men, and others, when they are merry, and in drink, have a care of Gaming, for fear they meet with a diſh of Rooks that will be ſaucy, they will not be able to digeſt them in a good while after.

And I would adviſe Young-men to have a care of their Pockets, and Maids have a care of their Plackets, for when the drink is in, the wit is out; for both many have ſower Sauce to their ſweet meat; if they have not a care.

And in the next place I adviſe all, let them be rich or Poor, Old or Young, to hate Swearing and Lying, Couzening and Cheating, Quarreling and Fighting, do as they would be done by, keep a good Conſcience, and love plain-dealing.

Let a Man be Honeſt, Juſt, and Fair, Then what he goes he need not care. So once more we are reſolved to ſee; Where Conſcience and Plain-dealing beſt entertained may be. And when we have gone our Circuit round. We'l tell you where Conſcience and Plain-dealing may be found. So farewel till we do meet again. For Conſcience and Plain-dealing, 'mongſt ſome doth ſtill remain.