WOemen are admirable Angels, if they would not be drawne with Angells to be come Devills, but to the purpose gentle eader, I intend to give you a true dis­cription of a Woeman in perticular, of all Weoman in Generall, desiring all Iudicious men Silent, Vertuous Modest, and discreet Woeman to censure of me according to my desert, As for the rest though they let loose their Tippets, Yea and their [Page 2] Toungs too, I vallue it not, For I know that every Gall'd Horse will kicke and winch. As I am Tom-tell-troth, I meane to set the Sadle vpon the right Mare, And as for the first, to wit, Mayds when they are cour­ted by their Sweet Hearts.

As thus, a Handsome Young Man comes to them, and after a Salutation, begin to make knowne his A­morous Sute as followeth.

Sweet Mistris (or faire Virgine) thinke it not strang that your all Commanding Beuty, has made me be­come a willing Bondslave, to your Sweet selfe, The Sparkling lusture of your Stare like Eyes, has kindled in me such an ardent love. That I am a fire to—kisse you.

Then forsooth, my Squeamish, Mayd, puts one a counterfit coynesse and in stead of a Kisse flapps him in the Mouth with—pish fie away Sir, indeed I scorne to Kisse, On my Virginity, I cannot enduer this fool­ing and so forth, when inwardly she longs for't, And were she in a Corner in the Darke she would Kisse; and Kisse, and Clipp, and melt into all the formes of Venery that art can devise, And thers her Honestie.

Then for the Wives, Ther's scarce one good of twenty, if I should say Forty, I thinke I should not lye, for one Scoulds, another Powts, one is Lazy, another Sluttish, a third Proud, a fourth a downe right Drun­kerd, a fift a Title-tatle Goshopp, and so from one to a Hundred, from a Hundred, to a Thousand, from a Thousand to many Thousands: You shall scarce find one that is not Giulty of one abominable Crime or o­ther.

[Page 3] And yet let them get to the Taverne Halfe a Douz­en of them, They in the hight of their Cupps, shall like so many Proud she Pharisees, Every one Iustifie themselves as thus, I thanke GOD I never cal'd my hus­band Knave, nor Drunkard, I never strove to weare the Breeches, and many such things, When to my Knowledge she hath cal'd him Rouge and Rascall, And made him weare the Horne, Then sayes a Second tru­ly Goshopp I commend you for my owne part, I must confesse I am a litle to hasty, And oftentimes vse my Tounge more then I have thanke for my Labours es­pecially of my Husband. Likewise a third gives her Verdict, Truely Goshopp quoth she the Tounge is an vnruely Member, Besides you know that Woman are the weaker Vessells, & men ought to beare with our infermities (as we beare them) And you know neigh­bour that the vprightest man falls Seven times a DAY, Then we Woman may very well fall Fourteene times a Night, being the weaksr Vessells, as I tould you be­fore.

This is their Discourse some two Houres or perhaps three, In which time they Arrive at a Reckoning of some Fourteene or Fifteene Shillings, which being paid, downe Stayers they goe, And being come in­to the Street, They expresse their weakenesse, being scarce able to stand on their Legs: At length stag­gering each, to hir House, If any of their Husbands happen to be at Home and demand where they have been, They looke presently on their Apron Strings which inspires them with a Lye, With which they flapp their too credulous Husbands in the Mouth. Thirdly [...] [Page 4] Truely Sweet Heart I have been to see such an Aunt, Or I have beene at a Gentle woemans Labour, and I am so weary and the like, Which the good Man be­lieves. Thus they make their Husbands Honest Cre­dulitye, The Subject of their ill Huswifery.

Then you shall have Another; Nay many that seeme to love their Husbands well, But yet Love a­nother Woemans Husband better, And that is the Trick of a disembling WHORE, But yet of all WHORES there is no WHORE to a Holy WHORE, which when she turnes up the White of her Eye, And the Blacke of her Tayle when she falls flat of her Backe, Accor­ding as the Spirit moves her, The Fire of her Zeale, Kindles such a Flame, that the Divell cannot with­stand her, Besides she can fit a man with such a Cloake for her Knavery she can cover her Lust with Religion, O! these Lasses that can rise and get them ready by Six a Cloake in the Morning to goe to Christ Church, And then in the Afternoone to go to Saint Autholing O! how they listen for that Tinckle tanckle bell that rovses them in a morning to a stirring excecise, but I am afraid that a great many of them love the bell for the Clapper sak [...], they love the smock though they hate the surplis, so much for that.

But least I should incurre the displeasure of all woe­men for laying ope the erorrs of some, I will now be­gin to turne the Catt in the Pan as the ould saying i [...], and leaving these, Goss [...]p to amend. I will now say alitle concerning good woemen, if there be any such as sure there are, though scarce, and I veryly beleeue if every one would, amend one, we should have a great [Page 5] many more then we have, but I am afraid they will be so farre from takeing my councell that they will sooner reward me with a scratcht Crowne, then with any oth [...] reward, for my friendly admonition. As for the good women [...] need spend no time to praise them their works will saint-like declare their worths and their vertues sha [...] [...]ine on earth much, more in Heaven divine.