HOw farest thou Benedict?

Father Pope, how can I doe otherwise then well, ha­ving so many handsome, curious com­pleat and beautifull Nuns in my Cloy­ster?

Why, hast thou so good em­ployment there?

I have the rarest, neatest and compleatest shriving, that since Saint [Page] Dunstans time there hath not beene bet­ter.

Doe they confesse well?

Confesse well! I and hang well, I mean their Beads about their necks: Oh, were you but in my place, you would exchange three Crownes for a Fryership.

I was a Fryer one time, and then I had such employment, which to thinke of almost makes me out of my wits.

I hope not so.

Yes, that I am.

Your reason for't?

O my brave Fryer, because I have no such employment now.

Faith Sir, I thinke that your Sister Pope Ioane had so much, that never a Pope since could get any.

No! by Saint Peters Chaire you have the onely time of it now.

Wee Fryers and Jesuites are bound to thank your Holinesses Par­dons for't.

But (I hope) you will let me part stake with you sometimes.

As for my part, you never found, me backward.

I must confesse I have not▪ but faith tell me Benedict, how many Pardons hast thou bought of mee this yeare;

Truly, I must confesse I have bought but few, but you have given mee many; I would two or three of my friends in England had had some of them.

Why be there any there which stand in need of them?

There was a good man as I heard lately was like to take accquaintance wiih a thing cal'd Tiburne without one.

They would not dare to doe it sure.

What is that they dare not to doe? Faith, in a small time you are like to have very few friends there.

Why, what's the reason?

Because they are like to returne all home unto Rome againe.

What! before they have done any good there?

They were in very faire way once; but now the times are altered, Fidlers goe a begging.

Those which were the cause of it, I thus curse them with Bell, Booke, and Candle, Candle, Booke, and Bell, backewardes and forewardes unto Hell.

But they are so much blest in a Parliament, that I doubt me your cur­ses will doe them very little harme.

No! for that word saucy Fry­er I curse thee: had I my will in Eng­land, I would make the proudest of them all stand in feare of my curse.

As for your cursing me I care not; but as for getting any will there, you are like to come far short.

Base Varlet; what! turn'd He­retique?

Whether I am turn'd Heretique [Page] I cannot tell; but that of late I am turn'd Christian I can assure you.

O that I had a Crosse, or some Holy-water to defend me from thee.

O that thy Crosses with a rope were hung about thy neck, to defend all the world from thee, who by thy base inventions hast hitherto cheated the whole earth.

O intollerable audacity! I am not able to forbeare.

You meane the whole World, through your vaine and deceitfull ficti­ons.

I am mad.

You may very well be so, for Pardons are like to be sold at a very low market now; because no body will buy them; men have learned wit to love money more then the Pope, in time I beleeve you will play a part of the broken Citizen, and so shut up shop.

O intollerable! thus to be deri­ded by one of my owne Livery!

You are much deceiv'd Sir, time was wherein I did weare it; but since I have found so much knavery to lye hid in your Pope-ships bosome, I shooke it off.

And have you forgot your ho­nest shrieving of Nuns?

You are mistaken in me, you thinke me to be one of Pope Ioan's or­der, which is a vice too many of you Popes and Cardinalls have beene given to, I will not excuse the neat Cardinall in France from it.

Villaine, what didst thou ever see by me or any of mine?

Ile tell you in plaine termes Mr. Vicar Divell, reverend Pope (I would have said) you are Governour of a hell of mischiefe; you have made Rome, which once was a place of great renowne, row nought but a sincke of wickednesse; instead of Pietie and good Religion, you plant errors and schisme through the whole World, you cozen Soules of Heaven, by blin­ding [Page] them with your Crosses upon earth? what is it which makes so many halt betwixt two opinions, but your Popish damnable plots?

Goe on I pray, I doe intend to heare thee patiently, and answer thee with verity.

How can the Prince of lyes speake truth.

Why, dost thou take me to be the Prince of lyes?

If I should say I did not, I should prove my selfe to be a dissem­bler like thy selfe.

Then you hold me to be adis­sembler.

More, Ile sweare thee to bee one: how oft hast thou beene guiltie of mens blood? how many Christians by thee have beene tortured? whom before their torments thou hast smil'd and laught on? How many cups of ve­nomous poyson hast thou presented unto Kings for mornings draughts? whom not long before thou hast pro­claymed [Page] to be thy friends: but this you will say is no dissembling, this you doe onely in love, because they should not indure any more miseries of this World: indeed, this is true Popish Piety.

Good Ben, say no more, and as for what thou hast said I freely pardon.

This is another Popes tricke; what he cannot by threatning, he en­deavours through cogging to obtaine. I am resolv'd Mr. Pope to leave you, and your superstitious crew to your great Grand-father Pluto, to whom I know you shall in time be made very welcome: your seven horn'd Beast will wait upon you when you please, and will carry you with a great celerity.

You intend to leave me then and be gone?

Yes faith, I am now quite wea­ry of wearing Romish sheckles or Crosses, which you please.

And whither I pray doe you in­tend to take your journey?

Where I am sure you dare not follow me, it is to England.

Time hath beene Sirrah, that I have had power enough thereto scourge the proudest Heretique in the World, and may in time againe doe the like.

That time will be (I beleeve) when the Devill and you are both ho­nest together; and that I thinke will scarce be in hast.

I had hopes enough lately of it.

Not of being honest I beleeve.

I say that I had hope lately to get dominion in England.

Indeed I did understand by some of your friends, that through Jesuiti­call Plots, and Projectors knavery for a time you have got a finger there: but now as I heare, that finger is like to bee cut off, not without some heads.

They dare not doe it.

Yes, and yours too, were it there; which I dare be bold you will not goe venture for the gaining of ano­ther [Page] Saint Peters Chaire, Keyes and all.

Thou talk'st like one of a shal­low braine; it is an impossible thing but that I should have a friend in Eng­land, although perhaps they dare not openly confesse themselves so to bee; yet so long as England stands they will (like to the Precisians) be read in a small Geneva Print.

What you meane by Geneva Print I cannot tell; but their last im­pression I beleeve will be cal'd in at Ty­burne.

Tyburne! what's that?

A place where many of your former friends (the cart being ready to drive away) cryed a pox take the Pope for bringing them thither.

What, and have had our Par­don?

Faith your Pardons there are not worth the third part of a Peters-penny: witnesse your Gun-powder Merchants which cut capers nine foot [Page] high, and never came downe againe till they were cut downe: if their heads could have got to Rome, they would have told you as much; your high di­vellish Court of Cardinalls could not keepe them from it.

They were happy in their deaths, because they died true Martyrs.

For my part, I desire no such Martyrdom: if hanging for high trea­son be counted Martyrdom; I beleeve before twenty years be expired, there will be Martyrs enough in England.

Push, I have a bird or two there which will prevent such matters.

As for one of your Birds, I heare he is flowne, and so escaped a Cage, and the other would bee gone, if that its wings were not cut.

Better flye then dye, insomuch as in a time of need, one paire of leggs are worth two paire of hands.

But I had almost forgot to tell you one thing.

What's that?

Tis thus, you must very speedi­ly either send very loving Letters or very well twisted ropes into England.

To whom there?

To your Iesuiticall Friends to desire them with all their co-part­ners to returne speedily to Rome.

But why should I send ropes?

To save England the charges of buying ropes to hang them which tar­ry behind, and you would doe very well to invite some English Projectors over to you, they can get you more by Tobacco, Sope and Wines, then the best Jesuite in Rome by Holy-waters, Peter-pence or Crosses: but you must send quickly, lest Shrove-Tuesday pre­vent you.

I wish them no worse harme then to be with me.

Faith, nor I neither, for I think that would be harme enough in con­science, they would misse Silla to fall into Charibdis: for I hold it better to be hang'd in England, then to live in [Page] Rome, for Tiburn oft converts soules, but Rome constantly makes them worse and worse.

For this blasphemous saying (base Varlet) thy Soule shall never come out of Purgatory, but alwayes remaine there,

How like you this Father Pope; you see I care little, for your vain fi­ctious place of Purgatory.

The time will come (sirrah) you shall care for it, when as you are bar'd from S. Peters Key.

Truly Sir. I beleeve it is so long [Page] since you opened Heaven gate, that I beleeve your Key is growne rusty,

Ile s [...]nd my breath on thee no longer, except it be openly to curse thee; wherefore fare thee well in the Divels name.