RULES OF LIFE: BEING Good Wishes to the CLERGY And LAIETY; For whose use the ASSE'S COMPLAINT Was Written.

BY LEWIS GRIFFIN

LONDON, Printed for Henry Marsh at the Princes Armes in Chancery-Lane, 1663.

THE PREFACE.

MAn that is in honour, and understand­eth not, is like unto the Beasts that perish; when our first Parents lost Gods Image they were degra­ded from Humanity as well as Divinity, and became as brutish as the Creatures below them; so that there is no Beast, or Monster in the Wil­dernesse of the Great World, but what may be found in the Microcosmus or Little-world of Man.

Hence it is that false Prophets are said to be inwardly Wolves, Drunkards inwardly Swine, Whoremongers inwardly Goats, Dissemblers Foxes, Flatterers Dogs, Valiant Men Lyons, In­nocent Men Lambs, as though we had Cloathed our Souls with their Natures, as well as our Bodies with their Skins.

[Page]Amongst the rest it hath been my Part to act the Asse, and no wonder, for the whole Kingdome hath done the same before me, and (like the Tribe of Issachar) been a long time Couchant betwixt two burdens, that is (in plain English) the Prophanesse of some who call themselves the Kings true Subjects, and the Hypocrisie of others, who term themselves Gods precious Saints, as though Loyalty consist­ed in Ranting, Swearing, and Drunkenesse, or Religion in Treason, Murder and Sacrilege.

I am not ignorant how some have rebel­led against the King in nomine Domini, witness the Devills Martyrs at Charing-Crosse, who pre­tended their unparrallel'd Treason was Acted in the fear of the Lord; others have sinned against God in nomine Regis, witnesse those Hectors of the times whom if you should check for Swearing would call you Phanatick; others have dishonoured the Church in nomine Episcopatus, and (as the wickednesse of Phinehas, and Hophni, made the people abhorre the Sacrifice) so hath their Ignorance, Scandall, Insufficiency, made the Sacred name of Bishop, the decent Ce­remonies of the Church, and the Divine Liturgy, become odious.

[Page]And shall a man see all this and be afraid to speak? no Friends; these are not times to daub, and flatter; the sinfull burden of a corrupt Balaam will make a dumb Asse turn Oratour; The Soul of a Man or Woman (I hope I may speak it without offence) is worth more than his Majesties three Kingdoms, and shall the charge of a Whole Congregation of these be committed to a Dunce, a Drunkard, a Beast, that hath neither Grace, nor Learning? God forbid; shall he that writes nothing but Truth, and Reason, have this Mouth stop'd with being, told he is a Seditious Person? Shall it be more safe for some men to Commit Sin, then for o­thers to reprove them? I hope not.

In the Verses called the Asses Complaint (however they may be mistaken) I know nothing that can justly offend a sober Man; The King Himself hath Declared that it is, and shall he his Majesties Will That no Insuf­ficient, Negligent, nor Scanda­lous Ministers be permitted in the Church, &c. and may not a Subject Law­fully Beg that which the King is Graciously pleased to Grant; He that sayes the Asse hath [Page] spoken Treason, Let him tell him that Prays Thy Will be done, that he speaks Blasphemy.

But (possibly) it is supposed by some that Ignorance, and Scandall, are quite out of fashion, and that there is no such thing in any of the Clergie. Truly I could wish it were so indeed; But when our Saviour amongst twelve Disciples had one Devill, it would be a won­der that the Bishops amongst so many thousand Curats should have none; Yet to name, or mention any particular Person (untill I have further occasion (I think) will be as absurd, as for a Minister, that reproves any grosse Sin, to tell his Parishioners, openly in the Pulpit, the name of any Person whom he knows to be Guilty.

Let this suffice, although others are unsa­tisfied with the harshnesse of my Expressions, yet I my self am well satisfied with the honesty of my Intentions, which (I question not) will bear me out against all malicious Gain-sayers.

Now whereas it is objected that my un­lucky Pamphlet, hath proved a Doctrine of Se­dition unto disaffected persons. What then (I beseech you?) have they not also made the [Page] same use of the Sacred Word of God? If a Re­vengeful wretch should stab his Neighbour, would that hand that made the Sword be found acessory to the Murder? I think not.

It was not my purpose, when I published those Verses, to encourage Sedition, but to rebuke Prophanesse; and therefore, to give the Rea­der further satifaction, I have written these fol­lowing Precepts, which are the Rules by which those People walk, for whose sakes the Cry was written; You may find in them sea­sonable advice, which, though it seem to lye confusedly in my Meditations, will be brought into better order in your Practice.

He that would know more of my mind, let him read my Apology which follows the Verses of H.W. (for the rest of His name I know not) I could wish that he had imployed his Wit to a better purpose; I can only Judge this, that the Gentleman is a civil Person, and his Reply is an Ingenious piece of Misconstruction; as for the Rest who have written against me I regard them not at all, I shall not throw stones at every Dog which I hear bark; Only I beg of the Ingenious Reader, to weigh my words in [Page] the ballance of Reason, and not (like the rude Barbarians) to account me a Notorious Sinner because he sees I am stung with Viperous Tongues.

It is not unknown to several persons of cre­dit in the Country where I lived, how much I have been persecuted by the Presbyterian party; and yet I am now threatned by some (who have more malice to conceive Mischief, than power to bring it forth) for being a supposed Ene­my to (that which I alwayes Adored) Epis­copacy, And not only I, but the Stationer who Printed my Verses, Mr. Marsh, although he hath (to manifest his Loyalty) Printed more Sheets against that Monster in Politicks, cal­led the Rump, than all of his Profession in London, to the Hazard of his Life, and losse of his Liberty; Which things being rightly con­sidered, we both may Deserve a Milder Censure.

THE DOCTRINE OF THE ASSE.

1. Stay! hasty Reader—Least the strangeness of our Title, which (at the first view) may seem to promise nothing but some antick piece of Drollery, or messe of Ridiculous Nonsense, should cause thy careless hand too soon to cast away this well meaning Paper; Remem­ber (I beseech thee) that however contemptible the Asse is in this age, yet in the dayes of the Pro­phet Isaiah he was a great Rabbi in Israel: insomuch that Heaven and Earth were called to witness how far he excelled the very people of God in Knowledge, nay we may confidently believe that, even in our times, the Churches of Christ and Houses of Prayer would be more frequented, if those dark Souls whom errour, or Atheism detains from the publick [Page] Ordinances, had but such a Schoolmaster to teach them to know their Masters crib. Neither is the Asse lesse exemplary for his Obedience than Knowledge; Observe how faithfully he gave Balaam an account of his Service, and for his falsly supposed Crime pleaded Primum Tempus; Alas Reader, should Divine Justice bring thee and I to a Reckoning but for the sins of one hour, yet which of us could use the Asses Apolo­gy? Certainly this is a Creature both serviceable and harmlesse, or else our Saviour had not chosen him for his own use, The Asse carried Christ to Jerusalem, a most honourable office of which even the greatest Prelate might be justly ambitious; Be not therefore offended at our Title; we present thee with nothing that savours eitheir of Prophanesse or Faction, if thou art Evil it may do the good, If good it will do thee no hurt, thy eyes may safely read it without any breach of their Covenant.

2. It is no wonder that we live in a straggering age, for the fall of Adam broke the bones of his Chil­dren, and cripled his Posterity; the Sons of men are both blind in their Judgements, and lame in their Pra­ctises, and (notwithstanding the still voyce which is behind us) we are continually turning unto the right hand or to the left, and either falling into a Religious rebellion or a Loyal prophanesse. The pious Apostle foresaw our failings, and therefore left us two ex­cellent Precepts, Fear God, and Honour the King, that all our lame Professors, who halt betwixt God and Baal, might make use of them as a pair of Crutches.

[Page]3. Doe not think that thou canst be a Friend to the King whilst thou art an Enemy to God: Drunken­nesse, Swearing and Whoredome are no Badges of a Christian, nor of a true Cavalier, His Majesty will not protect Sin, neither canst thou honour him by dishonour­ing his Master; If thy crying iniquity should invite Gods Judgements to the Court, it would cost thy So­veraign Dear to give them entertainment.

4. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisedom; There is no Wisedome without Fear; the voyce of God made our first Parents afraid; a serious sense of Gods all­seeing eye begets in us a Holy timerousness and consci­enscious care to doe all things as in his presence; Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoyce in him with trembling; Lest thou shouldst presume, let thy service be joyned with fear, and least thou shouldest despair let thy trembling be mixt with joy.

5. Consider where thou art, and in what place thy Lines are fallen, thou fittest not in the Region of the Shadow of Death, but in the clear sun-shine of the Gos­pel; and therefore shouldest thou be condemned, it would not be for want of Light, but for love of Dark­nesse; Thou hast a Double birth right, first above other creatures, as thou art a Man: Secondly above other Men, as thou art a Christian, Thou art also entrusted with five talents, whereas the Iew hath but two, and the Heathen but one: be not therefore a prophane Esau to sell thy Birthright, nor an unprofitable Servant to imbezel [Page] thy talents, nor a cursed Ahab to forfeit the reversion of Paradice for the Possession of thy Neighbours Vine­yard, nor one of those poor penny-wise Politicians, who striving to gain the World loose their own Souls, which is as if a Man should cut off his hands to purchase a pair of Gloves, or pull out his Eyes to buy a pair of Spectacles.

6. Beware therefore of the World; God is said to rain upon the wicked snares, fire and brimstone; It is the wickednesse of men which makes Pleasures, Riches, Honours, Friends, and all other Temporal Blessings, prove unto them mere Traps and Gins. And it is to be feared, that hee who will not endeavour to shun the shower of Snares in this World, will hardly avoid that of Brimstone in an other. In brief, the World is a Dissembling Jael; If thy Necessity compell thee to drink of her Bottle, yet let not thy folly betray thee to sleep in her tent; for know she hath both milk to feed thee, and a Mantle to cover thee, and a nail to strike in­to thy temples.

7. Yield not unto the Devill; but resist him and he will flee from thee; He was once baffled by An­gells and now he is fighting against Men; He appea­red in Heaven in the shape of a Dragon, but upon Earth he hath taken the form of a Lyon, and is continually going about seeking whom he may devour; those in whom he dwells are either openly Prophane, or close Hypocrites; but observe this distinction, he is Ram­pant in the one, and Couchant in the other. When he tempted our Saviour he had three strings to his bow, [Page] which he makes use of to this day; If thou art a poor man he courts thee with the Temptation of Bread; If thou art unstable in thy Religion he sets thee upon the Pinnacle; If thou art proud and ambitious, he car­ries thee up into the high Mountain. Who ever thou art, if thou travellest in this world thou wilt dayly meet him, he hath a strategem like that of Joab to Ab­ner, he will call thee aside pretending businesse; But turn not unto him; If he upbraid thee with the first A­dam, tell him of the second; If he boast of his Victory in the Garden, ask him how he Sped in the Wildernesse.

8. But chiefly take heed of thy Judas flesh which betrays him who daily nourishes and feeds it; Look not upon a Woman to Lust after her, but if Jeza­bel be got into the window of thine eye, then let holy thoughts (like those Officious Eunuchs) cast her out in penitential Tears: Listen not to the voice of a Land Siren, neither let Satan Buffet thee with thy own Rib; But abstain from carnal Lusts and thou shalt be happy, for he that keeps a Lent in his desires shall have an con­tinual Easter in his Conscience.

9. To this end be advised by the Royal Preacher, Remember thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth; It would argue a very bad memory in thee to forget him as soon as thou art come out of his hands: Repentance in old age is like Rain in Harvest, it may do good, but (believe it) 'tis very unseasonable; The time to weep is mentioned before the time to laugh, and the time to sow before the time to reap; Mistake not therefore thy [Page] Seasons, but let thy youth be a sowing in tears, that so thine age may be a reaping in joy.

10. Study principally the Practical part of Religion, and strive rather to obey thy Masters known will, than to search into his secret Counsels; it becomes not Men presumptuously to enquire into that which is hidden from the very Angels. We read how Iob was posed concerning Hail, Snow, and other Questions in the book of Nature; Now tell me (shallow Man) since thou canst not give a true account of what is done, but in the Clouds and Firmament which are only the out­houses of Heaven; how wilt thou presume to give Intel­ligence of the Affairs of Jehovahs Closet, and of the Transactions of his Counsel-Table? Praedestination is a fitter Subject for wonder than dispute, It is a mysteri­ous Euripus in the bloud of Christ; And it would be better for thee (like Aristotle) to cast thy Soul in with the Tide, than in vain to study the cause of the flowing.

11. That thou mayst have a right Judgement, and Apprehension both of Men, and things, learn to distin­guish betwixt Good and Evill, which is the great Dico­tomy of the intellectual world, and the two terms in thy conversion; The Devill perhaps hath taught thee an other lesson, only to make thee forget this; that is to distinguish betwixt Papist, and Protestant, Praelat, and Presbyterian, Independent, Anabaptist, Quaker, and o­ther Sects, whereof if every one should have a parti­cular Station at the day of Judgement, we might ima­gine our Saviour to be Centemanus (as the Poets feign [Page] Briareus) having an hundred hands; But know these are distinctions of Passion rather than Reason, and a strange kind of Language which our Babel-Builders have learned since their late Confusion, for there are but two wayes; Men are not Saved or Condemned for being called by this, or that name, but through Faith, or Unbelief; a Devout Papist is better than a Hypocriti­cal Protestant, a Godly Presbyterian, than a Debauched Conformist; and there is Room in Heaven for Religious Anabaptists, and Well-meaning Quakers; Let not there­fore thy Temper so far impose upon thy Judgement, as to make thee abhor the Harmlesse and Decent Cere­monies of the Church because they are said to be Pope­ry; nor to dissent from any Orthodox truths, because some may call them Arminian Tenents; nor to Perse­cute any of thy Bretheren because they differ from thee in Notions and Speculations; (In a word) as thou art not to believe every mans Opinion, so thou oughtest not to hate any mans Person, for the one would show thou hadst too much Faith, and the other would argue thou hadst too little Charity.

12. Think not that it is enough to make thee a Christian that thou wert once Baptized with water in thy Infancy; perhaps thy sowish Soul hath been a thousand times in the Mire of natural pollution since that sprinkling; We commonly say to Dirty Children that the Gardener will sow Leeks in their faces; we may more truly tell our Bruckled Professours that the Devill will low Tares in their Souls; to prevent this, Baptize thy Soul in the Blood of Christ, and Rebaptize [Page] thy Face in thine own Tears. The Baptism of Iohn, was a Batism unto Repentance, and therefore he that hath been Baptized, but, not unto Repentance, shall have cause to Repent that ever he were Baptized.

13. As for thy Prayers, let them be frequent, and fervent; Let not thy Tongue out-run thy Heart, but be such inwardly to God, as thou wouldst willing­ly appear outwardly to Men; Let there be no incon­gruity betwixt thy voice, and hands, neither let thy Soul study the Phrase of Ashdod, whilest thy Lips speak the language of Canaan; Make use of thy own gifts in private, of the Common-Prayer in publick, of the Lords Prayer in both; But tell me (Zealous Bro­ther) art thou offended at the noise of the Organs? And therefore hugely taken with their Doctrine who make it their Businesse to rail against them? On how grosse is thy Ignorance, to run from that Musick which is so highly commended by the Psalmist, and yet to follow the Lectures of those scolding Seducers, who (the Apostle tells thee) are but as sounding brass, and as a Tinkling Cymball; It is unwholesome for thy Soul to sit in the wind of such Doctrine which may make thy Charity to get cold, and blow dust into the eyes of thy understanding.

14. Think it not strange concerning the Fiery Tryall; The Lord hath promised to parge away our Drosse, and to take away our Tin; the Drosse is grosse Prophanesse, the Tin is glittering Hypocrisie; Now till we find our selves freed from these, we must expect [Page] the Refiners fire in the Furnace of Affliction. Sustine, & Abstine, was Epectetus his Philosophy, The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, was Jobs Divinity; study therefore to understand the one, and labour to practice the other; for if thou canst abstinere when the Lord gives, thou maist sustinere when he takes away. Consider the Example of the Holy Jesus. Remem­ber his Sufferings. With what an unwilling willing­nesse did he take off his bitter draught? If therefore Providence should put the same Cup into thy Hand, wouldst thou refuse to pledge that health which thy Master first began to thy own Soul? He that well understands the Glory of the Crosse, will never comp­lain of its weight, there is in it plus honor is quamone­ris; How canst thou expect greater preferment in this world than to be Standard-bearer to him who is the Captain of thy Salvation?

15. If thou art stung with fiery Serpents, (that is calumniating tongues) run presently to the Brazen Ser­pent, which thou maist find lifted up in the Gospel; Blessed are yee when men Revile yee, and Persecute yee for My names sake, &c. If thou art a Common Drunk­ard, Prophane Swearer, or base Whoremonger, whilst thou continuest so thou shalt be called a good fellow, an honest Cavalier, and a well bred Gentleman; But when thou changest Saul into Paul, and reprovest those Sins which thou didst once commit, what canst thou then expect, but that the Devill who was be­fore leading thee to Presumption, should now attempt to drive thee to dispair, and cast into thy face both [Page] the iniquities of thy Childhood, and the follies of thy Youth; and (if these fail) thy Poverty, and natural Deformity shall be charged (as Crimes) against thee; But be not discouraged at these things, There will (one day) be honour for thee as well as comfort for the mourner, for amongst the people of God there will be both a wiping of Tears from the Eyes, and a washing of Dirt from the Faces.

16. Be not discouraged from walking in the ways of God because of the scandal and miscarriages of some Professours; The best things being corrupted become the worst; Mercy may be abused, Grace turned into wantonesse, and Christ himself be made a stumbling-block; Shall we therefore have no Mercy, no Grace, no Christ? God forbid; The wolvish nature of a few Hypocrites shall not make sheeps-cloathing be­come odious; neither will we lay down the Profession of Religion, because some who took it up proved Rebels and Traytors; The Scribes and Pharisees had not been condemned for their Long-Prayers, If they had not used them as so many Graces before their cursed Meals of Widdows Houses.

17. When thou hearest the word preached, consi­der Who it is that Knocks at thy Door; Wilt thou be a Religious Hotham to shut the King of Glory out of his own Garrison? or wilt thou (like those discour­teous Bethlemites deny thy Saviour entertainment in the Inn, thy Heart, and lodg him only in the stable, or outward room, thine Ear? Know (carelesse man) [Page] that if thou denyest to open to him in thy day which is the day of Grace, hee will refuse to open to thee in his Day, which is the day of Judgement.

18. That thy Soul may enjoy her freedom, labour to subdue thy Passions, Let not the Sun go down upon thy Wrath; Anger is said to rest in the bosomes of fools; for indeed no wise man will be willing to harbour (in his House) a Thief or Murderer; wrath of four and twenty hours standing takes a Degree in the School of Satan, and commences Revenge; The Devil can, in the space of a Day and a Night, hatch his Cockatrice­egges in thy warm Bosome. But observe the fruits of Sin, That which buds in Anger, blossomes in Malice, growes ripe for destruction, and is gathered in Damna­tion. It was an Antidote prescribed by Athenodorus to Augustus Caesar to repeat over the Letters of the Greek Alphabet; It would be a Christians better, and safer Remedy to think upon him who is the Al­pha and Omega.

19. To avoid those many, and dangerous falls which may happen unto thee (in thy Journey) by that unruly Beast, thy Tongue, be sure to take (along with thee) Davids bridle; Take heed of that cursed Ca­coethes, which is now accounted Badge of a Gentle­mans Swearing; If there will be (one day) an account given of Idle words, there will be surely a stricter rec­koning for Oathes, and Blasphemy, and if to say Lord we have prophecyed, and preached in thy Name, will be no good excuse, certainly then to say Lord we have [Page] sworn and ranted in thy Name, can be no Lawfull A­pology.

20. Have a great care to observe the Lords day; If we refuse to keep a day of Rest, how can we expect a time of Peace; the breach of one Commandement draws on the Violation of an other; When the Prophane party had liberty Given them to break the fourth Commandement, then did the Hyppocritical take Li­berty to break the fifth.

21. Let thy Recreations be manfull, not sinfull; there is a great vanity in the baiting of Beasts, the Bears and Bulls lived quietly enough before Adams Fall; It was our sin that set them together by the Ears, let us not therefore rejoyce to see them fight, for that would be to glory in our own shame, And to take delight in that which is the fruits of our Apostasy.

22. Honour and obey thy natural Parents although thy be poor; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches and honours, yet thy heavenly Father hath pro­mised thee length of dayes. But especially forget not thy duty to thy Political father the King; who is a visible God, as God is an invisible King; If thou ho­nourest not the one, thou canst not fear the other. They who murdered the King would have done as much to Christ had he been then in the Flesh.

23. Let not thy envious eyes be dazled at the Glorie of thy Princes mercie, neither Goe about to rip open [Page] these wounds which his Royal clemency hath healed. There are some sick of Jonahs disease, who because the Gourds of their foolish hopes, and expectations of preferment are withered, grow sullen and discontented that the poor penitent Ninivites are not destroyed: men of such Principles have cause to give thanks that their selves are not Kings, for divine Providence fore­seeing the mischievousnesse of their Spirits did wisely to set them in such places where they might do the Least hurt.

24. And as thou art to honour the King, so like­wise is it thy duty to Reverence the Bishops, and Fa­thers of the Church; for the one is Gods Vice roy, and the others his Embassadours; be not like those who envy their greatnesse, and gape after their Lands; but love their Persons, and obey their Doctrine: and since it is Gods will to make them Bishops, I hope thou wilt give the King leave to make them Lords. Why not my Lord Bishop as well as my Lord Iudge? I think, of the two, the Divine is the more noble Function.

25. Labour to Keep alive in thy breast that little spark of caelestial fire called Conscience; Conscience, like Virgils Gnat, doth with her sting awake the sleepy Soul thereby to prevent the stinging of the Serpent; Conscience to an evil man is a never dying Worm, and (as the Poets feign of Prometheus) a Vultur con­tinually Gnawing his Liver, but unto a Good man a perpetual feast; so that he may well say with Samson, [Page] out of the eater came forth meat.

26. The chief Perfection of a Christian is Love; which ought be the duty of all men, Art thou for old things, the old Religion, old Ceremony, old Cu­stomes, consider there is nothing so old as love; or art thou for new things, new Lords, new Laws, new Lights, (or rather new nothings) alas poor Child! there is nothing so new as love; Whether therefore thou art an old Heretick called a Iesuite, or new one called a Phanatick, let love oblige thee; Love is the Alpha and Omega, the New and the Old Commande­ment; If thou wilt not Believe me, enquire of St. Iohn the Apostle, and he will shew thee Epistle for the One, and Gospel for the other.

27. If thou wouldst enjoy true content, live quietly in that Vocation unto which Providence hath called thee; Meddle not with another mans trade and imployment, but learn to move in thy own Spheare, and to mind thy particular Function; Our old Aversary, the De­vil, who tempted Adam, with a promise to make him as a God, hath a fine bait for thee also: If thou art a Traytour he will promise to make thee as a King: If thou art a Factious Presbyter he will promise to make thee as a Bishop. It is his design to set the Church upon the wrack, and to dislocate the Ioynts of the My­stical Body of Christ.

28. Call thy self to an account each night for the sins of the past Day, and reckon in the Morning for the [Page] iniquities of the night; God hath a book for thy sins, and a Bottle, for thy tears; If humane frailty run 'oth' Score in his book, then let Repentance fill his Bottle. The way to avoid Gods judgements is to judge thy self, and by condemning thy Self thou mayest shun Damna­tion.

29. Remember often the brevity and uncertaintie of thy Life; consider what business thou hast here up­on earth; thy Life is called a Race and warfare, So run this Race that thou maist obtain, and so fight this Warfare that thou maist become more than Conquerour through him who hath loved thee; take heed of being Uxorious as well as Covetous; Whores and Plunder will ruine any Army; Self and Pels, Bag and Baggage un­doe the World.

30. If thou art not yet Maried but intendest it, get thee a Wife modest, rather than Beautifull; Meddle not with those Ladies of the Game, who make Page­ants of their Cheeks, and Shops of their Shoulders, and (contrary to all other Trades) keep open their VVindows of the Sabboth day, impudently exposing their Nakednesse to the view of a Whole Congregati­on, which Eve modestly covered which there was no man in the World present save only her Husband; Black Patches are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; And I believe that when God and Sathan shall divide their flock (it will be as with Laban and Iacob) the spotted, and ring-streaked will fall to the Devils share; Joyn not therefore thy Self unto an [Page] Harlot unlesse thou hast a mind to Hire a Guide to Hell.

31. But let it be thy main endeavour to wed thy Soul unto Christ which will be the happyest match; The Mariage of the First Adam was not so Honora­ble as that of the Second will be Glorious; for then will hee give unto his Spouse Fullness of Ioy for a Possession, and make her a Joynture of everlasting Pleasure; whereas the chiefest Iewell that the Flesh, the world, and the Devil can boast of is Deaths head set in the Ring of Eternity.

This (Christian Reader) is pat of the Do­ctrine of the Asse; as Good Advice as my Sick Head can (at the present) afford thee; But when the powerfull voice of Almighty God shall command a Calm in the troubled Sea of My distempered Mind, I shall present thee, If not with better matter, yet in a better Me­thod. In the mean time accept of this form him who is

Thy Servant in him who became a Servant to make us free,

LEWIS GRIFFIN.

THE ASSES COMPLAINT AGAINST BALAAM: OR, The Cry of the Country against Ignorant and Scandalous Ministers.

To the Reverend Bishops,
YEE, mitred Members of the House of Peers,
The Kings Church-wardens, and Gods Overseers,
Fathers in Christ, we your poor Children cry
Oh give us Bread of Life, or else we die.
For we are burd'ned with our old Sir Johns,
Who when we ask for Bread do give us stones;
And only cant a Homily or two,
Which Daws and Parrots may be taught to do;
Drunkards Cannonical, Unhallowed Bears,
That name God oftner in their Oaths then Prayers.
Into what darknesse will our Church be hurld.
[Page 2]If such as these be call'd The light o'th' World?
These that have nought to prove themselves devout
Save only this, That Cromwell turn'd them out.
Mistake us not, we do not mean those Loyal
And Learned souls, who in the fiery tryal
Suffer'd for King and Conscience sake, let such
Have double honour, we shall nere think much.
But this our tender Conscience disapproves,
That Ravens should return as well as Doves;
And croak in Pulpits once again to bring
A second Judgement on our Church and King.
Though England doth not fear another losse,
'Cause God hath burn'd his Rods at Charing-crosse;
Yet Clergy sins may call him to the Door,
Ev'n him who whip'd and scourg'd them out before.
Oh therefore yet that read the sacred Laws,
Eject their Persons, and disown their Cause:
God, and the King have both condemn'd this crew,
Then let them not be patroniz'd by you.
'Tis not their Cassocks, nor their Surplices
We quarrell at, there is no hurt in these;
We own their Decency, yet every Foole
Cannot be call'd Monk that wears a Cowle;
Were grace, and learning wanting (by your leaves)
We would not pin our faith on your Lawn-sleeves;
'Tis Aarons Breast-plate, and those sacred words
Become a Churchman best, THAT THAT my Lords
Which pious Baxter makes his livery,
Would all our Curates were but such as he!
Pardon my Lords, we do not make this stir
To vindicate the Factious Presbyter;
We hate his wayes, and equally disown
The Zealous Rebell, as the Idle Droan;
And beg as oft to be deliver'd from
The Kirk of Scotland, as the Sea of Rome;
We pray for Bishops too, Oh may ye stand
To heal the sad distractions of the Land;
Then give us Priests loyall and painfull too,
[Page 3]To give to Caesar, and to us our dues;
Who maugre all the pow'rs of Hell have stood,
Men that are neither drunk with Wine nor Blood:
God save King Charles our Christian Faiths Defender,
And bring Religion to its wonted Splendour.

A Supplement to the Asses Complaint against Balaam: Or the Cry of the Country against Ignorant and Scan­dalous Ministers.

AVaunt ye Smooth-tongu'd Flatterers of the Age;
Praesto ye Meal-mouth'd Prophets; clear the Stage;
Enter the Asse again, who (though he Kneel
Unto the Higher Powers) lifts up his Heel
Against all those who make Gods house a Den
Of
It hath been a Den of Lay-Theeves long already.
Clergy Theeves; Have at them once agen.
But hark; I hear a Country Parish crye,
"Were ever Christians in such slavery?
"Must we be taught by an Illitr' ate Bear?
"Hee Preach? Hee'll only teach our Boyes to swear.
Is then your Priest a Swearer? Hah — must he
That taunts a Bishop taste a Pillory?
And 'tis but Just, and right; yet who controules
Him who Blasphemes the Bishop of our Souls?
What? Is an Oath lesse poenal than a Word?
Or is the Servant greater than this Lord?
No; He that Swears commits the fouler Sin,
And more deserves to lose his Ears than
'Tis true, Seditious Spirits, that Deny
Obedience to the Sacred Hierarchy,
Merit Severe Correction, let them hae't;
They'r the Disturbers both of Church and State;
Yet Prelat's Zeal would be much better shown
In striking Gods offenders than their Own.
Nay, Gods are theirs; for he that wears lawn sleeves,
Like Christ is murder'd 'twixt a brace of Theeves,
Both shew their enmity, but Divers wayes,
The Presbyter denyes, but This betrayes;
Now tell me (gentle Reader) which were Greater,
The sin of Judas, or the crime of Peter?
Then let the Bishops cast them out, for thus
They do but Justice to themselves and us;
Like the wife Mariners, who, to appease
The fury of the Raging Winds, and Seas,
Threw Jonas over-board; such was his sin,
There was no Cannon Law to keep him in.
Nor is it Reason all should be maintain'd
Ith' Church, who took Degrees, and were Ordain'd;
For He that after proves a Drunken Beast,
Degrades himself from Man, much more from Priest.
And such they were who caus'd our Bloody War,
When Levy's tribe were kick'd by Issachar;
For though Men speak with a not so thy Sons,
Yet God reprov'd them with the voyce of Guns.
Phanaticks, those Philistins, wan the field,
Whilst our poor Israel were forc'd to yield;
For Ely's boyes had lost the Ark of God,
Each Phinehas begot an Ichabod.
Then Oh ye Bishops, heal these sad disasters,
We do not call for Rectors but for Pastors.
A Priest should lead his Parish as a Guide,
Not leap upon their galled backs and ride,
For 'tis our Mother Churche's grand disgrace,
That these black patches stick upon her face.

BALAAMS REPLY TO THE ASSE: OR THE CLERGIES Answer TO THE Countryes Complaint.

To the Reverend Bishops,
You Learned Prelates of the House of Peers!
That sit in Moses Chair, and bow your ears
To Widows just Complaints, and Orphans tears!
Grave (Fathers of the Church) to you we come!
Begging for Justice! though they say we are dumb;
If we were so indeed 'twere well for some.
[Page 6]To you we render our complaints alasse,
None fitter then an Angel to appese
The fray, betwixt poor Bala'm and his Asse?
And that your Lordships are concern'd I'm sure;
Unlesse you can both scorn and losse endure,
The livings are your own, our's but the cure!
Twill be no wonder to your Learned Train,
That Issacar of Levy should complain!
The Asses spleen, will in his mouth remain.
Nor wil't I hope seem strange to any one,
That there's amongst us such division,
Proud Jack did evermore abuse poor John!
In vain it is for Bala'm to reply
Unto the Asses charge, when all men cry,
A switch and spurr's the best Philosophy!
Yet in my heart I think no wife men do,
Think us false Prophets, for they all do know,
They are but Asses, that do count us so.
But oh we cannot hold, should we not speak,
And sigh aloud, our very hearts would break,
'Twould vex a Moses were he ne're so meek!
Say can it chuse but grieve our souls to see?
Simeon and Levy fight, both disagree?
And sorry boys, old Fathers villifie?
Did ever any since the cursed Cam,
Turn up his Fathers skirt, divulge his shame?
Yes, yes, mine own dear sons have done the same!
And as if God were deaf, and Conscience dumb,
Rebellion but a peccadillo, some
Like Nero have display'd their Mothers Womb.
Lord didst thou send, the wild and Savage Bear,
To slay th'untoward boys that scoffing were,
At the good Prophet for his want of hair
How canst thou stay thy hand, when men and all,
Do joyn together, and us scoffing call,
Though not bald Priests by chance, yet Priests of Baal,
And why Sir John? what mean those names and words?
Or hath the Church her Knights, as well as Lords?
[Page 7]Or, tell me are her Keys exchang'd for Swords?
True not long since he lay dead in a sown,
Of civil Wars, the cross, and waining Moon,
Parted her Ensigns, and she was undone.
But that some gallant hearts that scorn'd the losse
Of life and goods, at best but splendid dross
Stay'd for to help their Mother bear her Cross.
But why Sir John? would not St. George have been
A better Epethite, but chiefly when
Griffins, and Draggons are so nee' a kin?
Or was't a greater piece of eminence,
To be a Mother, than a Maids defence,
Is love inferiour to obedience?
Why the rude Vulgar folk do call us John,
And adde a Sir, I must professe I'm one
As must go seek a revelation?
True, we have been as we do all confess,
A long time in the howling wilderness,
Save that we might not preach up righteousness!
Besides our Commons too were very small,
Like to the Baptist's, yet they differ all!
John fed on Honey, but we fed on Gall.
Yet we embrace the title, 'tis no shame
For to be Christn'd with the Baptists name,
May we be like him all a burning flame!
But ah this is not all that you do see,
A thousand harder names as yet there be
In the poor Parsons Genealogy.
Dogs, Bears and Wolves, Tigers and such as they
That range the Ment Woods, live on the prey,
Are Hieroglyphicks fit for us they say.
And yet God knows our hearts, and souls we cou'd
Nor fight, nor fawn, be insolent, nor proud,
Or flush our selves with quaffing humane blood!
But so the Tyrant Monarchs of the East,
Us'd (in their Triumphs, or their solemn Feasts)
To bait poor Christians in the skins of beasts.
What 'tis we have done, truly we do not know,
[Page 8]To merit ill of them, did we wee'd go,
With bended knee to supplicate our Fo!
If we have took away from any one,
More than our Tenth's, on this condition,
We are ready to make restitution!
If Altars, Tapers, be Idolatry,
Gowns, Casfack, Tippets, rags of Popery,
Shew us good reason for't wee'l lay 'em by?
But if the reading Prayers be all our blame,
Cause Daws and Parrots may be taught the same,
The Ass may then return from whence he came?
For is there any man doth stand in need,
Of so much wit, as that he won't conceed,
To this, a Pye may sooner speak than read?
But oh we cannot pray our hearts are scant,
Strange that we cannot pray, and yet can cant,
The poor man never did expressions want!
True, wa can't hang the head, and look demure,
1Talk fast, and lowd like Monkeys in a Lure,
And then not question but to sin secure!
We do not love a long and tedious story,
Full of Parenthesis, pride and vain glory,
The Pater Noster's the best Directory!
We do profess that we are none of those,
That Circumflex their Sermons with their Nose,
And mingle Hopkins Rimes, with Wisdomes Prose!
Yet would you but vouchsafe to view the Prayers,
Of your good Mother since these latter years,
Mixt with the incense of a Prelates Tears?
Would you but hearken to her groans, and cries,
Her sweet Patheticks and Apostrophies,
You'ld say there was not richer Sacrafice!
The penitent Disciple I durst swear,
Ne'r wept so much, when the pert Presbyter,
Fastned his Fetters, and did him secure!
Even so the Balm tree, lovingly bestows,
Its Tears on them, that do return it blows;
Tears healing as the blood that from it flows!
But stay here comes a scrole of Items, fright
Just like a Taylors Bill, a threadbare Knight,
They say we are sottish, loose, prophane, and light!
I do not with these Articles may be,
As false a charge, as manifest a lye,
As those were of a former Century!
For then the bribed Person that should go,
To prove the imputation to be so,
Would be the greater scandal of the two.
But yet I pray, that we may be no less
Religious in plenty then distress!
In Canaan, then in the Wilderness!
But we are Drunkards, men will lye and swear,
Though we with modesty and tears declare,
True is our Doctrine, Temperance our prayer!
Then us for Thieves, and Robbers they do brand,
Though we professe we would upon no hand,
Purchase an Acre of the Churches Land!
But we are wanton, lustful, fond and fickle,
And in our Neighbours Corn do thrust our Sickle,
When we God-wot all hate a Conventickle.
Lastly we are dark Lights, blind Guides by name,
Though if we were, say which deserves most blame,
A glimering Taper, or a wandring flame?
And yet the faults not ours, we had no doubt,
Remain'd till now, bright shining and devout,
Had not a Sequestration blew us out!
That Northern Gust, that Fatal Hurrican,
That rush'd through all the quarters of the Land,
Rooted up Oaks, but let the Mushroms stand!
Good Lord how prejudice and passion blears
Our eys; how self-ends lug men by the ears,
Which way the wind doth blow, the Saylor steers!
If we say nothing then they spurn and kick,
Call us dumb dogs, and throw us bones to pick,
The Ass will vapour when he Lyons sick!
When we refuse to see, at least to mind,
Their grose abuses, then the Priest is blind,
[Page 10]Weeping perhaps to fee them so unkind!
But if we justifie our holyness,
And prove by reason, what we do profess,
The wisdome of the world is foolishness!
At last when envy cannot find a hole,
To shrowd her self, down they fit and Condole,
Tis a poor silly superstitious soul!
These are the Scoffs and Jeers, the cruel hits,
That wicked heads invent in drunken fits,
To vex good men, and exercise their wits.
O wicked World, O Monstrous Commonweal,
When men with great applause might kill and steal,
Sensure was Saintship, Sacriledge was Zeal!
When Churches lay like stables, Altars bare,
Or turn'd to Mangers, Priest, and Organs were
Both silenc'd, none might preach unless they'd sware!
No Musick in the Church but Widows cries,
No Sacraments but Oaths, no Rites but lies,
No Christian Burial, and no sacrifice!
But thanks be to our gratious God, for why?
He heard our prayers, and harken'd to our Cry,
And thereupon turn'd our captivity!
We'are all in peace, long may we so remain,
May the Crown flourish on our Soveraign,
And Aarons Rod blosom and bloom again!
May all the Kings and Churches Enemies
All their plots, projects, and conspiracies,
Be blown away like silly Gnats and Flies!
And now my Lords since we to you have cry'd,
And nothing that concerns us from you hide,
Pitty our sorrows, pardon us beside!
O Father Abraham how canst thou see,
The bondman scoff at Isaack and not be,
In love to him, offended presently?
Alass we don't sigh and complain, because
Our honours lie at stake, but the good laws,
Your reputation, and the Churches cause.
Tis time, tis time my Lords, or to keep in
[Page 11]For your own safeties, or go armed when
The Lyon's couchant, in the Asses skin!
I'le say but this, take't on a Levits word,
When once the Asse doth of his own accord
Thus kick Sir John, Hee'l quickly fling my Lord.

THE APOLCGY Of the AUTHOR of the Asses Complaint against Balaam.

Rage on, Ye proud Philistins of the Land,
I scorn your Weakness, and (like Samson) stand
Arm'd with an Asses Jaw-bone in my hand.
Sure he that tells me of John Baptist, jests,
And of the Tyrants, and their Solemn Feasts;
'Tis I that combat with Ephesian Beasts.
Hark! Hark! how Isgrim howles, and Bruin roares,
Had Dives kept such Ban-dogs at his Doores,
They'd Worried Lazarus, not lick'd his Sores.
They tell us of a Pillory; What then,
We hope to see a Resurrection, when
The Harmlesse beast shall have his Ears agen.
Nay they may take his Life, a worthy prize!
[Page 12]Yet he that spills his Blood cannot be wise,
For Asses ne're were us'd in Sacrifice.
But must he Die? pray give him leave to pause,
Is the poor Asse condemn'd by Lydford Laws?
Sure if he Die you'll let him know the Cause.
What think you then? If he that doth declaime
'Gainst Drunkennesse, and Swearing merits shame;
Then he that writ the Cry, was much to blame.
Or if those men of Israel who (with tears)
Complain'd of Eli's Sons, were Mutineers;
Then Balaam's Asse deserves to lose his Ears.
But if amongst the pious Learned train,
Dunces are crept, who their profession stain,
Be patient Sirs, our Cry was not in vain.
What shall the Asse forsake his Masters crib,
And follow those that use to swear and bib?
No, He fears neither Pillory nor Gib.
Let Fools and Traytors dread such things, not I,
Who in the Dangerous times of Tyranny,
Own'd that, which now they say I do deny.
I that oppos'd Presbytery when Some
Comply'd, and Flatter'd, Others were struck dumb;
'Tis known how oft I pray'd Thy Kingdom come.
His Sacred Majesty I have ador'd,
And alwayes reverenc'd the Mitred Lord;
And will defend them both with Pen and Sword.
I quarrel not with him that bows the Knee
Toward the East, Although the Altars bee
Mere Stumbling-stones to Some, th'are none to Mee.
For well I know the King and Parliament,
Our Lawfull Lords may by a joynt consent
Make Necessary of Indifferent.
As for the Harmless Tapers let them burn;
Yet when the Bridegroom wakes her from her urn,
These will not serve the Sleepy Virgins turn.
To Gownes, and Surplices I am a Friend;
Let Others Cavill, they that will contend
About these things have sure some farther end.
But yet how prudentlie the King prevents
The Churches Rape; Hee sees their base intents
That 'gin to Rifle her of her Ornaments.
Nor must false Acban long enjoy his wedge,
Justice prepares a Halter and a Sledge;
These are the bitter fruits of Sacriledge.
These deep-dy'd Rebells, Hyppocrites in grain
That Swallow'd Bishops Lands, oh what a pain
Was it for them to belch them up again.
Then welcome Loyal Hearts, that scorn'd to take
Those dangerous Oathes that did Three Kingdoms shake
You that were sequestred for Conscience-sake.
Shine forth again Yee Pious and Devout
Sons of the Church, your Sufferings without doubt
Did onlie snuff your Light, not put it out.
Yet there are Some whose Age and former smarts
Have much impair'd their Learning and their Parts,
Enough to crack their Brains, and break their Hearts.
And plead wee against these? no; let my tongue
Be Curs'd for ever, if I do them wrong;
They shall not bear the burden of my Song.
[Page 14]He that hath suffer'd poverty, disgrace,
Sicknesse, and banishment from place to place;
Heav'n blast that Hand that throws dirt in his face.
Yet Priests there are, who neither have been true
To God nor Caesar, Oh'tis here the Shooe
Doth pinch; the Devil hath His Martyrs too.
And now me thinks the Reader pittyes us,
And cryes, What kind of Beast is this Whom thus
The Asse calls Ignorant and Scandalous?
Went he to th' University? What then?
So the French King with twenty thousand men
Went up the Hill and so came down agen.
What did hee there? he ate, and drank and slept,
Hee playd at foot-ball; and at last he crept
Into a Hood, Then int' Pulpit stept.
How hap'd it then that he was not refus'd
By th' Bishops? (Friends pray let them be excus'd)
The Prelates oftentimes have been abus'd.
As in this Case; A Patron of our age
Presents one Mopsus to a Viccarage,
Far fitter for a Bear-ward, or a Stage.
Now for a Handsom trick they cast about
This Mopsus was A soul unlearned Lout,
And knew the Bishop soon would find him out.
Then learned Corydon in Mopsus name
Went and obtain'd the place for which he cames;
And now Sir Mopsus doth possess the same.
Thus a Good Prelat may be soon betray'd,
When the loose
Yet the Pa­tron in this Case had no such corrupt intent.
Patron Pins a Chamber-maid
Upon Sir John, her Dowry must be paid.
[Page 15]Should these things hold What's Learning or the
'Tis Mony rules the Worlds and some inherit
Their Parsonages by favour, not by merit.
This this Begat the Courtryes scorn and hate,
And made their Squeamish Stomachs nauseate
That Pow'r which now hath broke the Serpents pate.
But lo a Reformation! oh sing praise
To Heav'n, for now the Bishops clearer rayes
Will chase these fogs, and give us better-dayes.
Ye rigid Presbyters lay down your Pride,
And Joyn; you Know once when a Case was try'd,
Shee had no interest that said Divide.
Yea Dippers, now baptize your selves in tears,
And be not Drawn to Error by the ears;
In spite of Hell, Let's all be Cavaliers.
Shall our Religion be (like Josephs coat)
Motly, and bloudy? Then the World will note
'Tis a true sign wee cut our Master's throat.
Yee Consciencious Romists why do wee
Wrangle with you? Is it not time t'agree?
Take you our Faith, Lend us your Charity.
Oh! If all these would lay aside their passion,
How would the Gospel flourish in the Nation,
Free from old Legends, and new Revelation!
Then Englands Church would out-shine other Spires,
Like the Bright Moon amongst the Lesser fires;
And this is all that the poor Asse desires.
Now as for that ingenious pen that writ
Balaam's reply: I shall not carp at it;
His Verses savour both of grace and wit.
[Page 16]But yet I wonder much how hee mistook
The Asses Meaning; if again he look
Sure he May read without a Const'ring-book.
Banish but Passion, wee shall soon agree,
I bow unto the Prelates, and will bee
As true and faithfull to the Church as hee.
I ever will obey their Just Commands,
And pray to God to Keep them from their hands,
That Hate their Persons and yet love their Lands.
But I should Grieve to see these Men of God,
That sit in Moses chair, and sway his Rod
Prove Grandsires to a Fatal Ichabod.
I would vex my Soul to see Lewd Phinehas race,
Or any Pulpit suffer that disgrace,
To lose a Man and have a Beast in's place.
Sound, powerfull preaching is the thing wee want,
Yet I abhor their Rhetorick that do rant
In vindication of the Covenant.
And is'c for this the Asse, is made a Mock
By Pamphleteers? And grown a Laughing-stock,
Base ill-bred hounds, that would destroy the Flock.
Then oh ye Gospel-Shepheards do not keep
Such Currs, Although to you they fawn and creep,
That Dog that Bites an Asse, will Worry Sheep.
Lewis Griffin.
FINIS

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