[Page] AN EXCELLENT RECEIPT To make a Compleat Common-Wealth-Oleo, OR (if you please) A NEW SENATE Fitted to the English-Man's Palate.

Recipe.

HAlfe a dozen Turks with Turbants on their heads, and Cimitars by their sides, all well purg'd of dross and impurities by Moonlight; one hundred Jews circumcised secundum artem, fourty Arabians stuck with spices of all kinds; ten New-England men; fifty Pyrats; eight Excise­men, nineteen Geneva-men, three Jesuits, thirty Quakers, one and fifty Anabaptists, lantch't in fair river water, threescore Independents; a quarter of a pound of John Lilburn's bones beaten into fine powder and sear'd, the better to unite with the rest; whereunto adde an ounce of Oyle of Saint-John's-Wort, a drachme of the scrapings of the Divell's cloven foot; five spoon-fulls of the marrow of old Oliver's nose; half a Committee-man; two Gallons of Aquafortis, seventy Scot's haslets, together with a Kilder­kinfull of Hugh Peter's sighs and tears, evaporated into water in an Alembiqu' made of an Organ-pipe; you may throw in (if you see cause) a barrell or two of Gunpowder, (the whitest is best) a firebrand light­ed at both ends, and one grain of Quicksilver, and (to keep all from blowing up) twenty or thirty Redcoats (according to discretion) and lastly for the better relishing of the Oleo, a Pispot full of Alderman Atkins's perfume, you need not trouble your selfe to go to the Apothecaries for it, the best is sold by Tom Turd a­bout Pancridg Church fields: to all these add but one scruple of Eternity to make it last for ever. Put all these materials together into a great Mortar made of all the Bells in England, Scotland, and Ireland; beat them well together till they become incorporated into a strong body, then set them over a gentle fire, till they become just Lukewarm, and no more: take it off from the fire, let it coole, and keep it for use.

The Vertues.

'Tis excellent good to purge the Nation to skin and bones: It agree's very well with the Common-wealth's men's appetite, but rises in the Cavaliers stomack; for which cause they, and the Presbyterians had best refrain it: The Spaniard would like it well if he might have a finger in the dish; the Frenchman would love it beyond his nicest Kiék shawes. 'Tis good against poverty. An excellent Restorative for broken for­tunes. It forces men out of Gaoles to preferments. But you must know that 'tis also very dangerous for some constitutions; for it makes some peoples heads fall off from their shoulders, others dye upon a Gibbet, and sends many an one a pickpack to the Divell: upon which consideration I have thought fit to set down a necessary preparatory or course of physick which every man ought to run who intends to be right­ly qualified that he may feed sweetly on it, find it concoct rightly, and turn to his proper nourishment, the onely use it was intended for.

The Method to be us'd by our Patient.

First you must abstain from reading Divinity books, and hearing sermons three years, when you have done so, you must go to Rome and take Orders there; when you return you must shift your cloathes to the very skin, and put on any habit you please but a Papist's, then you must preach one twelve-moneth which being duely observed, take but the quantity of an Hasle-nut of the following Pill for a fortnight, together without intermission, and you are right.

Recipe. The Pill:

Of Hypocrisy 5 scruples; self-denying one drachme ½ of Impudence 9 ounces, Religion. q. s. powder of a sear'd Conscience 7lb: water of Orphan's tears 1 Rundlet full; Church-lands as much as you can get (for that's a scarce Commodity, and almost all bought up) 3lb: ¼ of the rust of a weathercock, ℥ of Atheisme to role up the Pill to make it go down with the lesse obstruction. Make all but the last drugg into a masse; take of it (as I said before) the proportion of an Hasle nut every morning next your heart, for the space of time above mentioned, and you may partake freely of the Oleo, and yowl find your self after a little use fit to make an ingre­dient in such another when that's spent.

Probatum erit.

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