DEMOCCITVS a Philosopher living in a City called Abdera in the time of Hy­pocrates a learned Physitian frequently accustomed to repaire to the concourses and meetings of the Abderites, and pro­fusely to laugh at their madnes. Democri­tus juntor a learned both Divine, and Phi­losopher in this present age writ an elaborate, and copious Tract called The Anatomy of Melancholy therein demonstra­ting the Causes, Symptomes, and proper Cures thereof. Now in the third place commeth Democritus naru minimus, neither Philosopher, nor Divine, but a cri [...]call observer of Times and Persons, and a diligent searcher of holy Scrip­tures, one, who, as a calm, humble and charitable Christian would gladly bee his Countries Physitian, and for that cause will endeavour, though hee be for his labour esteemed a mad man, as Democritus was by the Abderites, to laugh his Nati­on out of its Epidemicall phrensie. But if our English Ab­derites take pitty on mee and send some wise and earned Hy­pocrates to cure me, I am confident after hee hath read this Paper, hee will vindicate mee, and conclude that they them­selves are sicke of a Phrensie. If Democritus had lived in our age, hee needed not have gone among the vulgar mul­titude [Page 2] to have made himself mery; hee might have gone in­to the Court, into the Capitoll, and beheld the disturbers of the Parliament, and violaters of the Covenant made with, and before GOD; into the Synod, and beheld the Brethren dissenting; among the griping Committees, if there bee such; among the holy anarchicall confused Libertines where­soever incorporate, or not incorporate in the Kingdome; in the very streets hee might behold Drunkards, and Men, and Women attired like Anticks, and Stage-players, and have too much cause of laughter.

He might see hypocritical Zelots professing to be religious.

Hee might behold men luke-warme in religion, whom GOD hath threat'ned to spew out of his mouth.

Hee might see superstitious Idolaters bewitched with An­tichristianisme.

Hee might see some of the Angels of the Churches forsa­king their first love, ready to returne to the Onions of Egypt.

Hee might see many Ahabs thirsting after Naboths their neighbours Pastures, and fields, and houses.

Hee might see despightfull Furies broaching bitter quar­rels amongst Christians, hee might see Blasphemers of God, prophaners of his Sabboths, Fornicators, Adulterers, lascivi­ous riotous Prodigals.

He might see Envious men, Backbiters, Detractors, brea­kers of Promises, detainers of Laborers wages, uncharitable cruell Oppressors, perfidious, and treacherous Friends.

Hee might see Demetrius, and the Craftsmen for the Tem­ple of Diana's seeke their owne gaine, crying, and beating downe works of Piety, Mercy, and Charity.

Hee might see our distracted Divisions and Factions ari­sing meerly out of Pride, and singularity the daughter of Co­vetousnesse which is Idolatry, one emulating to bee Paul, another to be Cephas, a third to bee Apollo, every one of them affecting fame and popularity, and striving to effect Parity, that each might gather unto himself multitudes of Disciples, and so procure much Contribution to the Saints, thereby to [Page 3] make the coffers and treasurie of the Saints himselfe opulent.

He might heretofore have seen the hands of corrupt Iudges, and Magistrates full of Bribes, ready to receive a payre of shoots, a basket of Chickens, a morsell of Bread to pervert Iu­stice, and as on the bench, so at the bar, false unfaithfull plea­ders, siding hyred perjured aretopagites, and witnesses.

But let them stand or fall to their own Master. What are all these to our subject, those artificiall drivers, (that have gotten a Smart-Lash to drive a whole host of men with counterfeit pre­tences of a wonderfull spirit raised for Iustice and Righteous­nesse, and by them to drive a Parliament and a whole Nation even against God and Christ) those unclean spirits like Frogs comming out of the mouth of the Dragon, of the beast, of the false Prophet, who were and are the spirits of Devils working miracles to go unto the Kings of the earth, and of the whole World to gather them to the battaile of the great day of God Almighty mentioned in the Revelations, 16. 13, 14. Who had well nigh driven three Kingdomes to perdition by the extirpa­tion and subversion of Religion, Law, and the liberty of the Subject, and their due right by the ancient established Lawes of the Nation, not that imaginary fantasticall Vtopian pretended Christian liberty framed out of the singularity, and pride of some spiritually high-minded men puffed up with the spirit of Peter, who having undertaken to dye with Christ, did not only fall into a sleep when Christ required him to watch one houre, but also denyed, and forswore his Master Christ three times before the cock crowed once.

These are the second artificiall drivers, who drive to the same end of Englands confusion with the first, but by severall wayes like Sampsons foxes tyed by the tayles. But before I tell these second drivers why I laugh at them, I will end with the first. Those unclean Spirits like Frogs working miracles have manifested to the world in these our dayes the exquisite with incomparable policy contrived plots and Treasons; first in their secret and clandestine practises to butcher, and murder many of our late severall Kings, and Princes; second­ly, in the twinkling of an eye so soon as a little piece of Paper would be burned, to have destroyed all the Nobility and chief [Page 4] Gentry of our Nation, and to have consumed by fire, or [...]um­bled, or mouldred into dust, all the memorable records, and antiquities preserved for the honour of our Nation; thirdly, in contempt of our strict capital and fatall Lawes against them, in creeping into the highest and most eminent places in the Kingdome, both Ecclesiasticall and Civill, thereby annulling our Lawes, and introducing an arbitrary power, and rule of government at their ripened opportunities, to have exalted the supremacy of that Dragon, beast, and false Prophet, out of whose mouth they came, and without any noise, or power to oppose them, to have changed our (new, as they terme it) true reformed Religion into a false, Idolatrous, and Superstiti­ons. And if any of our Gentry have entred so far into their secrets, and orders, worshipping that beast, having his marke, couch themselves in the number of the Patriarchs of their Country, or in the number of the Clergy, pretenders to purity of divine Worship, and having brought in one Mr. Oglethorp among dissenting Brethren under another name, by their close conveyances, subtile insinuations, and arguments, and prag­maticall positive opinions, Dogmates, and Votes, do retard, ob­struct, and hinder the reconciliation of King, and Parliam. and therby the settlement of the peace of the Church, and kingdom (which without the King cannot bee, for no King no Law; no Law, no Peace; no Peace, no Truth; et é converso, no Truth, no Peace; no Peace, no Law; no Law, no King) and craf­tily, wickedly, and trayterously oppose and hinder the par­formance of the nationall Covenant made with God touch­ing the King, labouring either to imprison, or dethrone him, are they not worthy to bee laughed at, when being learned Politicians, and having sublime Mercurian wits they neither discerne our Kings many, and maruellous deliverances from their Treasons, nor that that beast, Dragon, and false Prophe [...] out of whose mouth they came is the very Antichrist their ho­ly Hierarchy, nor that they themselves are those unclean spirits like frogs, the spirits of Divels, nor that their plots, policies, and divelish Treasons are those miracles, nor that they must go to the Kings of the earth, and of the whole world, to gather them to the battail of the great day of God almighty, no other­wise [Page 5] then as Gods Ministers and servants for the execution of his wrath and vengeance; as Nebuchadnezzar King of Ba­bel was, as Jeremiah 15. 9. & 43. 10. Whom afterwards o­ther Kings brought into subjection, as Ieremiah 25. 14. Or as Pharoah was, whose hart God for his own glory hardened, as in the history of him in Exodus, nor that without Repen­tance they must go into the bottomlesse pit, the place of the damned. And are not they more worthy to be laughed at, who after frustration of their manifold desperate, mischeivous, trai­terous, diabolicall designes, more then the plagues of Aegypt, against the tranquillity and happines of our Nation and Princes, and after ours, and our Princes miraculous deliver­ances from them, yet still persist and proceed in their Machi­avellian devises, and enterprises, nothing astonished or moved at the mighty power and providence of God in their former failings. Democritus will only merily put them in mind how some of their late predecessors, who drove as closely, politick­ly, artificially, and furiously as they now do, or can do, and had almost driven to their journeyes end, concluded with hemp and hatchet, and hee laughing hartily expecteth their like conclusion.

Now for our Vtopian liberty drivers, who drive cunningly and fiercely, for breach of Covenant, extirpation of Law, order, and government, pretending notwithstanding to be Patriots of their Country, and Zealots in the Church, I will confident­ly laugh at them, because I well know that God is the God of order, not of confusion, and that it is evident by holy writ, that in the last times hee will have nationall churches of the Gentiles, and their Kings, as may appeare in Isa. 60. 3, 5, 10. 11, 16. & Rev. 21. 24, 26. And that he will have the Kingdomes of this World to be his, and his Christs; as is manifest Rev. 11. 15. And what are Kingdomes? Are they not Dominions, and governments? Who can forbeare to laugh at these dri­vers, whose holy zeale passeth over, slighteth or waveth these Scriptures, and driveth even against Gods Providence, Decree, and purpose, and contemneth the threats of his ven­geance against breakers of Covenant made before him, pro­nounced by the mouth of Ieremiah 34. 17, 18, 19, 20. See the [Page 6] words in the Bible, that Democritus may laugh in no more sheets then the Mercuries, and other Pamphletters use to lye in, and to write Libels, and Treason in. Were these threats denou [...]ced only against the Princes, Priests, and People of Ju­d [...]th and Ierusalem, and not against Englands and the whole earths Princes, Priests and People also? Democritus resolveth to laugh profusely at all them, who be obnoxious to this curse, if they wilfully perish thereby, and will tell them, humani mores fingunt sibi fortunam, their destruction is of themselves. But he hopeth that God in mercy will spare the Nation for the sake of that part thereof, whose harts have not yeelded to that pre­sumptuous horrid sin of perjury, and will not execute his pre­dicted vengeance of Vae perjurae genti, Woe to a perjured Na­tion! and therefore waving all laughter Democritus will close with a short, but serious question to this Nation.

Democritus might behold, and consider our Fasts for distres­sed Protestants in Ireland and might laugh at them as mocke­ry, when these drivers are the means to hinder and keep back competent supply and reliefe from them, nay how can any man considering it forbeare to laugh, if withall he read Isaiah 58. 5, 6, 7. & 1. 15. 16, 17. & Zech. 7.

Many other subjects of laughter there bee, but cannot bee laughed out in one sheet, neither need we laugh at our selves, Forraigne Nations laugh so much at us, painting us upon their Wals with a Bible in left-hand, and right hand in neighbours pocket.