EVer since I had a resolution to make a change in my life by Marriage, I have had thoughts of declaring my Reasons for it; partly, because I believed all would not be satisfied with it; and partly, that all might see. I desire to walke openly and in the light, which, I conceive, is everie true Christians dutie; but hitherto I could not attaine the fulfilling of my purpose through continuall distractions, yet now in some measure I hope to reach it.
Your Ladyship knowes, we have a command in the Gospel, that all things should be done to Edification; and according to this Rule, all that are faithfull subjects of Christs Kingdome ought to order all their actions, to the end, that all might be built up in the knowledge of their dutie, by the prudent and Godly example one of another, and none offended. And I may say truely, that by this Rule I have aimed to walke, that God might be honoured by all the undertakings and circumstances of my life. But as justly can I say, that my heart accuseth me of a carelesse observance and pursuing this aime; and therefore, the justice of God may suffer my best actions to be mistaken and so deprive me of the comfort of seeing others informed or strengthned by my walke: Something of that nature, (I meane misunderstanding) I find in the apprehensions of people concerning my late Marriage; and therefore I doe the more willingly take occasion to lay down the Reason of my change from a single life (which condition my inclinations preferred before the other incomparably) with great desires, that if the Lord judge it their benefit, he would blesse my discourse with giving them a right understanding of those Principles, by which I see it necessarie that my actions should be governed.
Madam, you know the End of our being is Gods glory, and that the same, and no lesse, should be the End of everie [Page 2] action of a Christians life, and consequently of Marriage: concerning which, that I may speake distinctly and freely, I will tell what I apprehend it to be, and then what I conceive everie lively Member of Christ should aime at, in entring upon that state. For Marriage, I take it to be a solemne & publike Covenant between two, instituted by God himself, from whose intention in his institution wee must discover the second thing, which is, what the Aime of a true Christian ought to be, in making that Covenant with another.
The last and chiefe End of God in this institution (as I conceive) was that which he proposed in the Creation and Governing of all things, viz. his owne Glorie, which he wills to manifest, as well in this institution as in other acts of his Providence, by declaring his goodnesse to his Creatures; which Goodnesse is declared by ordaining a speciall way for them, to be a helpe one to another for the advancing of his Kingdome in their owne spirits, that they may advance it in others, upon which followes their Eternall happinesse, and also by making them a comfort one to another in this life, by discerning themselves a helpe one to another for that most excellent End of advancing his Kingdome, and by that to glorifie him in his Sonne. This is the comfort which I beleeve, God intends true Christians by their Union in Marriage, that their joy might arise from nothing below himselfe. And certainly, none such can have any comfort but in doing the will of their Heavenly Father; and consequently, they shall have comfort in whatsoever is a helpe to that, though it be accompanied with never so many and great difficulties. Thus then, I say, wee may gather from Gods intention what our Aime should be in Marriage; namely, Gods Glorie (for upon that our eyes must be perpetually fixt as upon the maine ground of all actions:) and secondly, as the Meanes to produce that effect, to be a helpe one to another for the advancement of his Kingdome. This in generall ought to be the principall Aime of Christians in Marriage. (As for other things, which though inferiour, yet may have a consideration in making that Covenant, I passe them over, well knowing few or none [Page 3] but considers them sufficiently) which I have here exprest, that upon that ground I might lay downe the particular Reasons which induced me to Marrie, and those briefly are these following.
First, I conceive, that ordinarily a woman cannot serve the advance of Christs Kingdome in a single estate, so well as being united to a godly Man for the above-mentioned Aimes. For surely if she could, God would not have instituted that which would prove an impediment to the best way of serving him.
Secondly, I saw evidently I could not. For Marriage was for that End (so oft alreadie mentioned) proposed to me, and more then ordinarie Meanes and Opportunities of serving C [...]rist were made apparent tome, suchas the declaring of them would by such as understand not such undertakings be judged) vanitie at least in me, and therefore I mention no particu [...]ars, but rather say, that I had long since bound my selfe to the service of the Members of Christ, and from all selfe-seeking, as well by a particular vow, as by the sea [...]es of the Covenant which con [...]rmes Gods mercie to us when wee are found faithfull in giving up our selves to live and dye unto God, and not to our selves.
Lastly, I had seene a verie great hand of providence leading me to Marriage, manifested in many strange passages and circumstances, carrying me contrarie to all my owne inclinations to what I would faine have resisted; and withall I found, God denying me all the other wayes that I proposed or sought out for the fulfilling of that which I judged must be the End and labour of my whole life, namely, a Living to the service of others without more respect unto my selfe then what was required to make me fit for that. Thus, Madam, you see the ground I went upon in this great change in the manner of my life; in my heart I wish, it may be so understood, that some may see the necessitie and benefit of proposing Gods G [...]orie for the maine Aime of all the Actions and circumstances of thier Lives, that so they may be delighted with the knowledge of the excellent Communion [Page 4] and Spirituall Workings betweene God and the Soule, which the constant performance of this dutie brings unto us even in this life, and that is the worst I wish unto my censurers. Now, Madam, should I speake something in answer to the Exceptions made against me, I feare prolixitie, and yet I cannot well omit to tell you, they are not better then carnall, and such, as to either Gracious or Morall Men will soone be answered. They are, I perceive, two:
First, That I Married below my degree.
Secondly, That I matched neither to a great nor certaine fortune: the last I confesse, the other I denie absolutely; and that I may give my Reason for what I denie, I must consider:
First, our severall conditions, relating the degrees of honour which God makes betweene Man and Man; and then that which Mans judgement makes of honour. As for the distinction of Equalitie or Inequalitie, which God makes betweene man and man; I conceive, it is onely made in his intention by the imployment in his owne service which he calls men unto, that Man being invested in his esteeme with the highest degree of honour who is most trusted by him; and that Man is most trusted by him who is most immediately in subordination to himselfe, set a worke for the effecting of the highest End, which he proposed to himselfe in the Creation and Redemption of Man. Now, if this be granted a truth, as, I thinke, it must be, it will easily appeare, that a man, called, qualified, & sent by God, as his Sons, Ambassadour to dispense the Misteries of Mans salvation, that he, I say, receives the greatest trust from God, and consequently the imployment which gives him the highest degree of honour. This was the Office our Lord Christ chose to execute personally, when he refused the honour of governing an earthly Kingdome, & seeking rather that which came to him by erecting his Kingdom in the consciences of men, where spiritually he doth indeed raigne as King. By this which I have said, Madam, you see I judge my selfe to have married most honourably, although I should confesse him to be no Gentleman which the world [Page 5] so much values; but he cannot be denyed the honour of being descended of both sides from an ancient Familie, which even in carnall eyes makes an Equalitie at least. For all that he is not come from the Nobilitie immediately, and therefore wants the honour of that Titular Greatnesse, whose Originall at the best had its rise but from humane Policie, and its suppott from the foolish Fancy of Men; certainly the honour of the title of a Lord wil not equall the honour which God hath annexed to his owne Ambassadors, neither in respect of the Institutor, nor the End of the Institution; the first being God himself, the End for his Glory, the other, Man, and the End his Glory, betweene which methinks very weake Christians should discerne a very vast difference: Much might be said on this subject, and much more to prove even to rationall men, that there is no such Inequalitie as some imagine, but it is not easie to fall so low in discourse with Christians as to debate things in a bare humane way, seeing that is not Gods way, and it is below our priviledge in Christianitie.
The Second ground of Censure, is, that I have not advantaged my selfe by getting either a present great, or future certaine fortune; It is very true, I have not, nor doe I thinke that the thing in Marriage that was called to aime at (as I have said before) For I believe the inheritance of Gods Children is in Heaven, where we looke to have eternall possessions, not on earth, and therefore not here wee are commanded to lay up our Treasure, where we are sure it shall not be permanent, whereas here wee have no abiding place, nor certaintie of any thing in this life, which is not spirituall: And this Lesson God calls loudly our Nation to learne at this very instant, and surely he hath given me great cause in particular to study to know the duty of living by faith, which if wee did understand, we should despise the reasonings of flesh, and blood, and keepe our selves in a joyfull constant dependencie upon God for unseene provisions, both for our selvs and posteritie; neither doe we consider, that God doth govern [Page 6] all his dispensations and their circumstances in such a way as all the wit of Man cannot make any alteration of additions or diminution to them; which it we did, we might assure our selves, both the quantitie and certaintie of the things of this life is in his hand to give, not in our power to take; or if we had it, not to keepe it. But alas, contrarywise, Men looke upon Estates, as things which we can make sure to our selves, and judge them then onely great, when there is enough to consume in the satisfying their foolish fa [...]tacies by [...]ulfilling all sinfull appeti [...]es, and observing every foolish superflous custome now taken up in practice, contrarie to the humilitie, moderation, and simplicitie of the Gospel; but they that tend to perfection must be otherwise minded, labouring to shake off those fetters that they may be free to worke in Christs Kingdome, and able to joy onely in the increase of that & his power [...]n it. Here, Madam you may see, worldly Riches were not my Aime, and therefore I have them not, and yet I have enough to keepe me and my children from seeking necessarie [...]ood by this Match, to the distraction of which I might have beene all my life exposed unto for ought I know, if God had not made Master N. instrumenta [...]l to prevent it: For such who layd my condition to heart had t [...]eir owne straits as well as I, and therefore I could not depend upon that few number; so that in conclusion, I blesse God for his seasonable mercie to me, even in regard of outward provision. Let others contemne it as much as they will; that shall not take me off from the gratitude and value which is due for so great a mercie, as by eating bread of mine owne, in these miserable times I enjoy.
I might here tell you, that I could not pay too great a gratitude to Master N. for his friendship to mee and mine, keeping us from extremities, when else for a long time we must have beene exposed to it; but your Ladyship is no stranger to that; and it is an argument (though considerable) for my Marriage of an inferiour nature then [Page 7] what I have related, and willingly I cannot love to descend in such cases. And besides it is not my Aime to Apologize or satisfie men to remove their censure from my selfe (for that I can easily beare) but to informe those that are offended of my Principles. Therefore I will shut up this discourse, with humbly begging your constant prayers, that I may be found faithfull in pursuing the Aime of my Covenant with Master N. that God may be glorified in, and over all the actions of