ALthough my former freedom in writing might rather give me occasion to beg pardon for a fault committed, then to proceed in the same kind: Yet I know not how it commeth to passe, that in stead of repenting and abstaining, I am drawne to re [...]terate and aggravate this fault, by a higher presumption. The cause of this irregular motion in my spirit I can attribute to nothing but to that which all sinners may pretend for their excuse; namely, a strong bent of desire, and an inclination moving me irresistibly to doe what I am about to doe: together, with a secret hope and promise to my selfe of forgivenesse grounded upon your obliging disposition: Upon such motives as these we all sinne against God. If then you will be so patient to beare with me, as he doth with sinners, till they may be reclaimed, and so bountifully kind as to imitate him, in using meanes to cure my distemper; I will be thankfull, & truly acknowledging the merit of your vertue, be bound to serve you and honour your Sex. For I must confesse that partly the silly weaknesse, and want of capacitie, which doth appeare in most of the Female kind; partly, the disproportion of spirit which I have found in my self frō the waies of their conversation, hath kept me at a distance, till of late one whom you know hath made me perceive, both by her selfe, and by the Characters of your excellent spirit, which I find in some of your Letters unto her, that God hath not deprived that part of mankind of eminent graces, with strength of parts and abilities to do him spirituall service, & to be more helpefull in some things towards the advancement of the Kingdom of his Son then even Men themselves. Upon this discoverie, I confesse my inclination to converse did grow more free, and the prejudice, which made [Page 2] me shie, being taken away, my affection was inlarged to be willing to contribute unto that subject which I found most susceptible of the best Motions, most apprehensive of the chiefest Aimes and most generously active and resolute to set forward the fittest Meanes and Wayes leading thereunto; that assistance and helpe, which my calling in the profession of the Gospel did oblige me to afford. And in continuance of this indeavour, some intimacie being growne betwixt us, and a settlement of that resolution (which I had long before vowed, maintained, and practised, to live no more to my selfe, but unto the Communion of Saints,) Being then also begotten in her, I found that she was capable, not onely of a Morall, but of a Spirituall friendship: And therefore upon her departure into Ireland, after that I had beene in Holland, I proposed unto her the heads of a Covenant of spiritual friendship, to be maintained for the Aimes of publike and mutuall Edification, as well at a distance as when we should be neere at hand. In this Bond, and in the faithfull and single prosecution of the duties thereof we have continued till this day, upon severall occasions confirming and rectifying our purposes therein by such Rules as the Word of God through the spirit of divine and common. Love have revealed unto us. Now the onely thing, which I for my part have ever found a hinderance and distraction from the accomplishment of the duties whereunto we are bound, which doth ordinarily clog the prosecution, and frustrate the effecting of that for which God hath moved us to contract this friendship is meerely the want of freedome to communicate upon all occasions our thoughts one to another, which is occasioned by the distance of our abode. This doth put both my spirit within me to a perpetuall straitnesse, and the prosecution of my Worke in publike without me to a lingring slownesse. For seeing I find it impossible at such a distance as we have lived, and still live in these busie times, to satisfie that tye which our friendship doth put upon my conscience, either for the publike Edification of many, or for the private comforts of each other against the causes of common perplexities, whereunto all private [Page 3] conditions are involved. Seeing, I say, I find it impossible at such a distance to satisfie in such occurrences and for such ends my conscience chiefly in point of readie deliberation, or seasonable execution of that, whereunto the love of Gods service, as well in publike as in private doth bind me, and that onely by reason of our distance; therefore I have oft desired, that a way may be found to remove it: But because I find other inconveniences in the removall thereof, which will ensue in respect of the world, which will blast the fruit of all our intentions, except some neerer relation prevent the same; and because I see no warrant to stint the increase of friendship and divine love from the nearest relations for humane respects, nor is it conscionable, without Gods owne way, to confirme the application of ones selfe to one particular, more then to many, with a restraint of the Spirit, from intending others in the same degree, who may be, if not alike capable, yet no lesse inclinable to serve God in the same way; I say, Madam, for these and some other causes now to be omitted, I am necessitated to breake through humane respects, by casting my selfe upon God, who doth in the capacitie of your Spirit open a doore unto me to see a way through the obstacles, which otherwise might seeme impassable. For I am confident, that your Ladyship is able to discerne what hand God hath in this businesse of our continued acquaintance, and I make no doubt but you also see cleerly, that I will be constrained in the end either to faile in friendship by not fulfilling a Covenant made in the feare of God, (which is a thing intolerable to my verie thought to apprehend) or to neglect Gods service in the Gospel of peace, and Communion of Saints, to which I am more bound then to the former, by how much this Aime is the more Universall then that, (which is as grievous and lesse supportable to my thoughts) except the publike and private relations, under which we both stand, be brought to be one & the same in their due subordination, which cannot be done without the nearest conjunction of our persons in the freedome of all manner of commerce, for the performance of these duties and endeavours, upon which our intimacie is [Page 4] grounded; and without which it is not lawfull, as being not subordinate unto the glorie of God. I [...] t [...]en the causes of our distance doe really disturbe my peace, and make my straitned spirit lead a wearisome life; and if these obstacles of our lawful conjunction hinder us both from the work of Gods glorie in our callings, which might many wayes more comfortably then now it is, be performed; and if your spirituall Sagacitie cannot but find this to be so: I may (I hope) without despaire of Pardon presume to make this request, that you would be pleased to represent this case unto your Aunt, who is here, to desire her to remove the impediment of which I complaine, by that approach which may be honourable before God and Man, and give me the full freedome of performing all duties which God doth require of those whom he maketh one bodie for his service. As for any doubts which she might have had concerning the state of Marriage, and the usefulnesse thereof to Gods glorie, I have by generall discourses endeavoured to take them away, and am confident, by the grace of God, that all scruples, that either she or any in her condition may have about that matter, will easily be resolved. Therefore I cannot but seeke, that she may fulfill her part towards the full accomplishment of the effect of our Covenant, although I neither at first, nor a long time after, did conjecture any necessitie of such a sequele as now I find inforced (by the circumstances into which God cast, me) upon my intentions. And this, Madam, I could never have uttered unto any of her friends, besides your selfe, because I know that there is none to whom she hath so great confidence; and I beleeve, there is none able to judge better of the case then you are, as being fully perswaded of your Spirituall and Rationall parts; for which cause you may see, that I have put the trust of my self, & of the secrets of my heart, upon which the chiefe comforts which I expect in this temporall life depend, in your hand, to use them as your conscience to the love of Gods glorie shall direct you: For I protest truely in his presence, that it is no worldly desire, nor earthly intention, nor personall passion, (although I cannot wholly denie the affections of humanitie) [Page 5] which doth sway or lead me to this motion, but meerely the discharge of my dutie, to advance the glory of God in my Calling, by the fittest meanes which his providence doth afford. On him therefore I relye for successe, according to the sinceritie which he seeth in me; wherein also I will take my leave, commending your spirit in this and all other things to his gracious direction, who am
THis last Post brought me a great confirmation of my resolution concerning Master N. which resolution I desire should be knowne there: the ground of it is in his Letter to your Ladyship, therefore I send it againe; and the rather, because I cannot possibly lay downe now the particular Reasons of this Union with him; which I thought to have done, for the satisfying such who are either capable of Grace, or Reason: As for your selfe (with whom there is none ranked) I perceive your Ladyship takes up most of these things, which hath obliged me to yeeld to Master N. Proposition; and therefore I am not much solicitous for others, knowing you will (as occasion serves) informe all, as they are capable: which I must leave to you, beseeching the Lord of life to fill you more with the abundance of his Grace, that you may still be a helpe to Gods people, and a comfort in God, to
YOur Gratulatorie affection is no lesse obliging then your intercession, and I hope the Lord will make me thankfull for all the blessings which he hath bestowed upon me; amongst which, that which you mention, of such a Friend and Wife in one person is the greatest in temporall things: and as he hath by his Grace joyned our hearts, not for worldly Ends, but for a Spirituall Aime of serving him; so I am confident, that he will direct us in that way which is most unblameable: and as we seeke not the honour and appearances of this world, but are sincerely bent to seeke the honour which is from God alone, without any shew in the world, that we may be counted worthy to partake of the Crosse of Christ, and to be mortified unto the world with him; so I beleeve stedfastly, that God will sanctifie us, and make us Vessels of Honour for every good use in his Tabernacle, and quicken us by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the more we shall be lyable to the censures of the world. Yet I thinke it very fit, that some Meanes should be used, such as your Ladyship doth mention, to stop the censoriousnesse of worldly-minded Friends, which will be intended with the first occasion by her, who will be more subject to be blamed by those that consider things after the flesh, then I will be either by them or others. But we shall joyntly intend the clearing of our wayes towards Men, as we have approved them hitherto before God; that perhaps the eyes of such as are dimme may see somewhat clearer then yet they doe the purposes of our life, which shall truely be dedicated in all faithfulnesse to your Ladyships comforts, by
YOur affectionate Congratulations to our Union, I make, no doubt, will be accompanied with your prayers to God for us, that we may be enabled to attaine the End of our lawfull Conjunction, and be strengthned in the dutifull performance of those Endeavours which have drawne us to this state, which by Gods grace may be effectually usefull to his Glory, and the Edification of others, which is all the ground of the Comfort which wee seeke in one anothers Societie. I am bound therefore to prayse God for this inclination and frame of spirit, whereby he hath joyned us first to himselfe, then one to another, and lastly, to all others who can understand what the End of every Christians life is, as well in this as in any other Relation: and I rejoyce not a little, to see your Ladyships heartie Congratulations going along with us, upon this discoverie and knowledge of our way in these proceedings. For although others, who are good in their owne degree, reach not to the Aimes which have brought us to this state; yet in due time, by the abilitie which God hath endued your Ladyship withall, I hope, their apprehensions may be rectified, to looke upon matters with another Eye then hitherto they have done: it is a blessing of God to be prayed for unto them, to discerne the things most excellent; and when wee discerne them, to be resolute in following them is a dutie which generous spirits will delight in. Would to God wee all could understand the saying of Christ, as he meant it; That which is highly esteemed of Men, is abomination in the sight of God. And in another place he sayth, How can yee beleeve, that receive honour one of another, and seeke not the honour which is of God alone? Wee must speake of our selves, and professe, that wee count nothing estimable or honourable, but what is usefull to his service, in the life [Page 8] of Christ; and nothing is usefull that way, but that which crucifieth the world to us, and us to the world, in respect of the fashion of it, and outward surface of things, which is void of Realitie. All that imaginarie Substance, and Accidentall Frame of Corruptible Matters, which maketh a shew in this present World, doth bring us under a Yoake of Bondage, and depriveth us of the glorious libertie of the Spirit of Adoption, in some degree or other, as wee yeeld thereunto. Therefore, as our sence is, so wee will in our practice really endeavour to beare witnesse to this Truth unto every one; and I suppose, my Wife would rather her Friends should receive satisfaction, in reading her reall performances of duties to God, then any Apologies or Verball Justifications. But I must needs breake off, as being straitned in time; therefore I can scarce read over what is here written in haste: onely I must say in truth, that I am