MY Old Friend Honesty! I have not seen thee this many a Day, I think not in this King's Reign; Pray how do'st thou do? Where have you been, that I could nei­ther see you, nor hear from you? Pray where are you go­ing in haste?

Truly, to tell you the Truth, I have been in the King's Service all the War, and am now going to the Temple amongst the Lawyers.

I know you have been in the King's Service and in a good Station a great while; What Success have you had? You have had a brave, and long time to get Money; I hear you have taken a great many Rich Prizes.

So I have, and have got Money enough, but I am like to be plagued with a Roguish Informer.

For what?

Why truly at the taking the Prizes, I e'en made Hay when the Sun shin'd, and Plunder'd them, and Sold them as others did; and for that, my Officers and Marri­ners, [Page 2]has complain'd against me, and all because I did not [...], or give them what they pleased to take or demand.

Why did not you give them their Shares that the King has ordered, and what is allowed by Act of Parliament?

No, nor never would if I could help it, I'd see them [...] first like a poor of Damn'd Eternal Dogs; and if [...] Commanders has been of my Mind, we would have [...] their Course with the War.

Pray how do you mean?

Truly by Unwholsome Food, and by Starving, Whiping, and the Biblo's, &c. for by them Engines I have pik'd off a good many my self.

Why would your Men suffer you to abuse them, and pinch them of the King's Allowance, and not complain?

No, they did not take it kindly, but were often murmering and complaining.

And did not you then relieve them?

Yes, I did, and with a Vengeance too; for to be plain, I abused them to make them complain, and when they did complain, I had them Tryed by a Council of War for Mutineers, and some were Hang'd, and others to avoid the same Fate, run away.

Why could you be so cruel to abuse Men, and after that, Hang them for complaining?

Tush, you talk like a Fool, an Ignorant Coxcomb; why all the world is a Chear, and they are Fools that has not a Hand in it; for by that means I [...], and a great deal of Money to boot.

Pray what Advantage could it be to you to Hang, and make Men run away?

A great one.

In what sence?

Why them that were Hang'd, were Impudent Fel­lows, that would boldly demand their Right, and did en­courage others to do so too, and would often test me, That if they could not have it Aboard, they would have it in ano­ther place; and to prevent their Cackling, I was obliged to [Page 3]turn them out of the way; yet one of the Plaguy Dogs [...], did form a Complaint against me; but [...] him [...] a leading Card, I was forced to laun [...] good Fleece, and send him packing out of the way; and for them that Run, I keep them upon the Ships Book twelve Months after, as I did several that Dy'd, and by that means I draw'd all their Wages for that time into my own Pocker, besides their Shares of Prizes, and my honest Purser gain'd their Victuals by the Bargain.

Why then your Purser and you agreed very well.

Yes, he was the principal Tool that I did my Work with, for I could not carry on my Trade without a Consort; and when the Captain and Purser is [...], they are able to do Wonders.

But by the way I understand by your Discourse, that you did not Hang, or make them Run meerly out of Cruelty to them, but to serve your own private Ends.

Yes, what I did was meerly to serve my self, and get Money.

That I believe; But pray what did your Officers say to those Passages?

Truly at first they would be medling and advising me to keep to the strict Rules of the Maratime Law, as they call'd it, but when I consider'd the Inconveniency of it, and how ready they were to stir up others, I soon got rid of them; the Master I turned out at one time, and my Lieu­tenant I complain'd of at another, and outed him, and by that means I muzzel'd all the rest, and brought them to know and understand [...] Obedience, I made them fawn like Spaniel Dogs; for when once they knew my Temper, an Oath, or a Frown from the, would produce greater Ef­fects than a Cudgel from some.

By your Discourse you treated your Marriners very barbarously.

Barbarously, do you call it? If I had the handling of them again, I'd Sacrifice some of those Eternal Dogs for [Page 4]Food for the rest, which if they would not Eat they should [...].

That would be the way to Kill 'em all.

Let 'em die, let 'em die and be Damn'd like Dogs and Slaves as they are.

Pray if you Slight, Abuse, and Murder Men at this rate, how shall the King's Ships be Mann'd? None that knows you will come voluntary under your Command.

I know that, but then I can have a Press Warrant, by virtue thereof I can and will force all I meet to serve the King, and get Money by the Bargain.

But if you Press those that are not qualified, what Service can they do the King, or how can you get Money by them? I must confess, I have known a Press-Smack has laid in the River a whole Fortnight, attending on a Press-Gang, and she carried down near 40 Prest Men, but they were all cleared, except 2 or 3, and thereby the King was at 40 l. Charge for no purpose.

I believe the Smack you speak of belong'd to my Ship, if she did, I got Money by clearing them, besides what the King allows for every Prest Man; but as to their Ignorance, if they belong to me, I'll soon qualifie them, or make them fly to the Devil.

All that may be, but if you Press Tradesmen, or their Servants, the Lords of the Admiralty will clear them.

No, not if Seamen be wanting; but if they do, I'll make them pay for their Diet before they go, and that goes into my own Pocket, allowing my Purser a Snack; besides every one has not Friends to Petition the Admiralty, and them I carry secure.

Well, but what use can you make of Landmen a­board of Ship, they are not fit to arreava, or go aloft to hand Sails, all the Cursing and Swearing cannot make them fit for that presently; besides, the hurrying of Men on such Service, indangers their Lives, and I have heard of many that has lost their Lives thereby, and the King has lost [Page 5]many a good Ship too, by the Unskilfulness of the Marri­ners.

I know that to be true, for it is not long since that two of those Ignorant Dogs under my Command, going to take in a Reife in our Maintopsail, came tumbling down like Buffoons; it was the pleasant'st Pastime in the World to see them lie upon the Deck, panting, reaching, and stretching like Toads in the Sun; and as for losing a Ship, that signifies nothing, it is a National Charge; besides, it forces a Trade, and no Body now adays is blamed for that, if they be, they are seldom punish'd, I have lost two my self, but I presently got a Commission for another, and so I only leapt out of a worse into a better.

I think as you say, that Frauds and Miscarriages in the Navy, are not much minded, if they were, or had been, I be­lieve we might have managed the late War with less than half the Charge we have been at, and made our Enemies truckled long ago; but as you say, that wa'nt your Business, you were for get­ting of Money; and in this Case you were a gainer two ways: First, You got a bigger Ship, and thereby more Honour: And Secondly, A greater allowance of Wages, when a great many others has been hanged in former times for a less Fault.

Pish, them Times are alter'd, besides, some may better steal a Horse than others look over a Hedge; don't you know that Kissing goes by Favour; he that has no Friends, shall have no Preferment; and he that has, shall never sail nor fear Punishment.

So I understand by your Discourse, but would it not been better for the Nation, if Men of Merits had been prefered before Friendship? Do you not believe that the Wars might sooner been ended, and the Taxes abated, and a great deal of Money saved, and our Merchants-Ships and Trade been better secured, if the State of the War had been better managed.

You talk of management and saving of Money, when I know that the Naval Affairs was never better managed, nor Money ever more plenty than then; I am sure I never handled more Money in all my Life, than in the Time of the War; I don't know what those timorous Cowards meant that cryed out for a [Page 6]Peace, I did all that I could to prolong the War, and if my self and my Friends could have ruled the Rost, the War should not have been ended this Twenty Years.

You talk strangely of continuing the War for Twenty Years longer; why don't you consider what a vast Charge it has been to the Nation already? How the Subject has been drain'd by Taxes? How the Nation is involved in Debt, and the Seamen yet unpaid for their past Service, and how many Thousands has been ruin'd by it.

Prethee what have I to do with that, one Man's Loss, is another's Gain; if I get but Money, all's well, I care not who siuks so I swim: Don't you know the old Proverb? Every one for himself, and God for us all.

Why, is that your Country Conscience to cheat the King and Countrey, and make a Jest of it? You'r a fit Man to be a Captain.

Ay, and a true Jest too: Don't you know that Kings and Princes are Born to be cheated? Or did not you hear of that honest Purser, who out of a desire to get Money, swore he'd serve the Devil for Five Pound a Year? And I think he was much in the right of it: Prithee what is a Man without Money? It is that which all Men aims at, and adores it too; only some Puny timorous Fools that are Slaves to Conscience, that cannot do as they might for fear of him, and by that means they pass by many a good Booty.

Yes, I do know that Kings and Princes ae born o be cheated by Rogues and Knaves, and so are other People too, but that does not make it either Lawful, or Justifiable; for he tha cheats the King and Countrey in jest, is a Rogue in good earnest; and as for the Purser you speak off, he is a notorious Blasphemer, and a Disloyal Person, one that owns neither God nor the King; who makes his brags, That if he can but please his Captain, he cares for no Body else, so tha his Blasphemous Expressions is no way warrantable; and those who you call Timorous Fools, that are afraid of Conscience, they have discharged themselves like Men of Courage and Prudence, and I could instance you the [Page 7]Names of several of them, whose Generous and Noble Actions has brought a Scandal on you and your Reputation.

Pray name me one of those Honest Men of Courage, or I'll not believe you.

Truly I don't care for bringing Gentlemens Names upon the Stage, but since you have put so hard upon me, I'll tell you that I hapned t'other Day to be in a place where some of your Ships Company were discoursing with some belonging to the Wey­mouth, Commanded by Captain Jumper, the Argument was a­bout their Commanders.

Prithee what did my Men say?

Truly nothing in your Praise.

Pray what was their Discourse.

Have patience, and I'll tell you: The Weymouth's Men were telling how many Prizes they had taken, and how the Captain returned them to the Officers for Prizes, and paid e­very Man their Share to the utmost Farthing, and what care he constantly took of them, and encouraged them on all occasions, and then merrily fell a Singing in praise of him, extolling him to the Skies for his Valour, Justice and Civility, and drinking his Health upon their Knees, wished him long Life, Health and Pro­sperity, and when they had done, your Men mournfully com­plain'd of your Severity, and declared all your Villanous Actions as amply as if you were to do it your self; and then they begun a Song in a doleful Tone, complaining of your Barbarity, Injustice, and Oppression; the Burthen of the Song was, The Devil shall have him before we will Serve him, and then he will Plague us no more; and the Conclusion was,

Why is Captain Jumper such a Man amongst them?

Ay, so belike, for they all protested if they were to go in­to the Service again, they'd all jump aboard of his Ship, if they could possible.

Is that all? Tush, I care not what they Sing or say of me, so I have but the Guilt, I'll give them a Commission to sing ten times more for such another Booty: O the Vertue that is in Gold! It wipes of all Stains: Gold and Impudence, with a little Diabolical Rhethorick, will make a Coward pass for a Hero.

Well, I'll believe you without Swearing, but now that Trade is over, the War is ended now.

If the War be over, the Trade of Cheating is not, nor never will so long as I am in the Navy.

Why if you that are Honest are such a Cheater, pray what must we expect Knaves will do?

Why are you such a Fool to think that I am Honest, be­cause I title my self so? No, pray don't mistake me, for I do as­sure you that I have wronged the King and the Sailers as much as any Captain that I know; and to be plain, I am for carring on the Trade of Cheating, and am a Cheater altho' I assume the Name of Honesty; that is but under a colour, the better to carry on the Trade of Cheating, for you'll understand before we part, that the Trade of Cheating will never be laid aside so long as I have a Commission; but pray proceed.

Pray how can you play the Cheat in the Navy now there is no Prizes to be taken?

A pox of your Ignorance, will you never be wise? Don't you know there is more ways to Kill a Dog beside Hanging? There is a great many ways to get mony without plundering of Prizes: One is ma­king of Hogs. Secondly, I can take as many Servants as I please; and if they be never so ignorant, I can set them down Midshipmen, and Able: besides, I can make mony of the Stores, Provisions and Materials of the Ship; and if they happen to be discovered, I can swear they were only Lent, and all is well. It is not long since my Ship was unrigged, but I got an Order to have her Rigg'd again pretending to Cruise for Rovers; but instead thereof I made a Trip to France, but meeting with contrary Winds, I sprung a new Main-mast beating in.

Prethee tell me what you mean by making of Hogs.

Why the Keeping of men upon th Ship's book when they are dead or run away.

Why then what is lost to the Seamen by running away, is clear profit to the Capt. and I believe that is one Reason you are so cruel to them. Besides, I observe by your discourse, that you are Eminent in the Art of Transmutation; you can turn the Naval Stores into Gold and Silver, I believe you have got the Philosophers Stone, so much talked of. But prethe, What do you mean by going to France? That Trade is not open: I have Read in the Weakly Pamphlets, that a great many of our Merchants Ships has come from thence in their Ballas; and the reason is, because there is such great Duties upon French Goods.

I did not matter the Duties, for I did intend to make my Ad­vantage of that, for I took in a Parcel of Wine at Brest, and upon my arrival at Plymouth, I prevail'd with one of my Men to swear it was Spanish Wine Loaded at St. Sebastains, and some I sold there to good ad­vantage; but coming into the River with the rest, some of my Men out of Malice complain'd thereof to an Informer, and then Poor Sampson had like to dye, for the Plot was discovered and my Wine was seized, which cost me near 300 l. to clear it of the French Duties.

Then you were nickt that time.

Ay, Bloodily.

But what became of the Man that forswore himself to serve you, I hope you rewarded him well?

Truly, I left him in the Lurch to shift for himself, for as soon as he discern'd the storm he pikt off, but I lost nothing by that.

Faith, you are a pretty Gentleman, but saving your Discourse if you could carry on that Trade in the Kings Ships, where you are at no [Page 10]charge, you must needs get a Dam'd deal of Money, but then there will be no occasion for Merchants to be at the Charge to fit out theirs, and Pay Wages and Victual too, you have a long Head I find for getting of Money, as well in times of Peace as in times of War; and if you were not obstructed, you would carry all before you, and our Merchants Ships might lay by the Wall to Eternity, for they cannot pretend to sail at that Rate.

Prethe don't tell me of them, I have told you my mind, and I am for getting of Money if I can, let them look out that has the watch.

So they did by your Discourse, and catcht you to your Cost.

That's too true to make a Jest off, but saving your Discourse, what must I do with this Informer that Prosecutes me?

Why do you ask me.

Because I am Informed that you have taken up that Imployment, and as I was unwilling to believe it, so I was troubled to hear that you should undertake such a scandalous and base a Profession which every Honest Man abhors.

That's your mistake, for all Honest Men allow and commend it, and a great many honest Commanders that have been in your Station, do commend me for appearing in so Good, so just and Honest a cause. And the King and the Law allows and requires, and encourages so good a work as the only Antidote against Rogues and Villains, so I deny your Assertion, I am no Informer.

No! Pray, who then Informs against my Brother Captain Q. Pray, who Informs against me?

Why truly, you Inform against your self and discover your own Villany, tho it is in a Braevado; but to tell you plain your Officers and Marriners whom you have cheated and abused, they Inform against you, not out of Spight or Malice, but for Right and Justice, and indeed, I am imployed by them, and do appear as an Advocate to Solicit for the King and them.

That is all one, you may call your self Advocate, or Soliciter, or what you please, but all of them that you appear against, do declare you to be an Informer; and truly if my Friendship, or any thing that I can do for you, may obliged you to decline that scandalous Name, I should be very glad to see you Converted.

Why, do you Account them Honest Men that I appear against.

Yes, I do, and they are Gentlemen of great Honour and Repu­tation too.

Why, if they be Honest and Guiltless, they need not fear or re­gard an Informer or Soliciter, no, nor the Law neither, for none of them can or will hurt an Honest Man. And if they be Knaves, it would [Page 11]be a greater Crime to connive at their Villanies then to complain of their Vices, and yet to gratifie you, if you will decline Cheating, I will leave Informing, and that without reward.

Well, tho you deny the Name of an Informer? You own the Name of Soliciter or Advocate, and that's all one, they have a dependency one upon another in Prosecuting us; and I do hold with several of my Bre­thren, and do say and affirm to your face that you are an Informer.

Then so let it be and call me as you please, but pray do me the Justice to consider that I am not a petty Vexatious one, that Informs a­gainst frivolous offenders, i. e. Such as relieve distressed Beggars at the Door, or those who for Conscience sake, refuse to comply in Ceremo­nies of Religion, neither did I ever Inform against those that pick or lick Gold off of Ginger-bread, &c. Yet I do allow there is a sort of Infor­mers, that has brought an odium upon the Profession, that are not sit to live in a Civil Government, i. e. Horselers, and othes Informing High way-men, how they may come by a good Booty, Servants Inform­ing thieves how and when to Rob their Masters, others Informing against their Neighbours for not working, or paying towards repairing the High-way where there is none; Husbands Informing against there Wives, and Women against their Husbands for not going to Mass, or not Wor­shipping God against Reason and Conscience, &c. Others prying into the Closets of Kings and Princes, and then discovering their secrets to their Enemies, Treacherous and Cowardly Sea Captains, Maliciously In­forming against and dismissing others of Courage and Fidelity, as was the Case of Captain Desborrow, &c. Besides I must tell you, that every Man that bears any Office under the King, and every Parish Officer, and eve­ry Man upon Juries of Inquest: Yea, and every Freeman of London are Sworn to be Informers, and if so, then it can be no Crime in me, but an Act of the Highest Justice to Inform against such Villains that has ruin'd Thousands of His Majesties Subjects, and Cheated the King and Country to that degree, that the whole Nation Groans with the Cries of the op­pressed, whilst the oppressors Glory and Boast of their Wickedness. Besides our Great Lawmakers, out of a sence of Duty to their King and Countrey, have ordained that Informers shall be Encouraged for Inform­ing against Publick offenders, and that purely to prevent or punish Vil­lanies. So that an Informer in the proper Sence, is an Officer of Justice, and a good one too, provided he appears more for Justice then Malice: So then, if I am an Informer, I am one of the highest rank, and with your leave, I'll wave the Name of Fidelity, and Acknowledge my self a faithful Informer; provided you will decline the nick Name of Honesty and appear according to your profession by the Name of Publick Chea­ter, [Page 12]and then we'll proceed if you please, but pray let it be without Ca­velling.

With all my heart, but don't bear too hard upon me; for I was but one that Acted as others did, according to the moad of the times. And certainly that could be no great Crime in me to follow the Fashi­ons; Besides, long custom makes many things both Natural and Law­ful, which I think you cannot deny.

It may be, you take your Pedigree from Cain, who was the first that committed the Heinous Sin of murder, but if you do, that don't make it Lawful or Natural, altho some Vicious Men would have it so; Pray consider; Can any thing be more Notorious in those who were im­ployed with double Sallaries to defend and preserve the Nation, then for them to Rob it, and as much as in them lay to ruin it, by Plundering what was forbidden by the Law, and by abusing and piking off the Sea­men and Marriners, who are esteemed the Bulwark of the Nation, as you have done? It is observable, that by your Savage and Barbarous Practice, above 70000 of them has been driven into the other World, and above 100000 more has been quite run out of their Pay during the late War, and meerly to gratify your Ambitious and Barbarous Humors.

Prethe talk no more of that, you have had my Answer, now hear me; you charge me and my Friends of Murther and Barbarity, when e­very Body knows that the Informers are the greatest Villains and Mu­therers in the whole Nation; for were it not for them we should have no hanging nor burning of the hand, no pilloring, whiping or banishing of Men as we had, nor no siningand imprisoning of them, &c. And therefore it is plain, you are the greatest Rogues and Villains, it is you that are the occasion of so many mischiefs, how happy would this Nati­on be if you were out of it. I Remember a Story about the Physitians, who being found Pernitious and Fatal to the People of Rome, they were Banished out of the City, and none suffered to Inhabit amongst them for the space of 600 Years, the People making an Universal Medicine of Cabbage, whereby they enjoyned long Life and Health, with a great deal of Joy and Felicity. And truly, it is my Opinion, if the Informers were Hanged or Banished out of this Kingdom, we might enjoy the same Happiness, and truly, I would be one of the first that would set both my hands to so good a work.

Really I believe you, but what makes you banter the Informers at such a rate.

Because they are the Villains that are the occasion of all those mi­series that I have declared, and of all the misfortunes that can befal us.

I say, they are not the occasion of any of them, it is their own Treasons, Murthers, Fellonies, and other Vicious and Wicked deeds and practices, that is the occasion of all your misfortunes.

Nay, then I'll be Hanged, for there is no Man that is such a Fool, that after he has Committed an unlawful Act as you Call it, tha will In­form against himself, and therefore it is plain, you Informers are the cause of it.

Yea, I do confess we are the secondary causes, and for that Reason we are esteemed and rewarded by Vertuous and Honest Men, who well know if we did not do our Duty to our King and Countrey, then no Man could be in safety; for the same Law that forbids Theft, the same Punishes the Thief and Creates Informers, but to turn your Roguish Si­militude to your self. If all Rogues and Villains were Banished out of the Nation, the Informers would dye in Course, and tho you rail against Informers, your Quarrel is really against Honesty, and would destroy her if it were not for Informers; Like the Wolf in the Fable, who used all his Rhethorick to remove the Dogs from the Sheep, that he might the more greedily devour them.

Then since you are so stiff in the matter, Pray tell me how long you have been an Informer?

Not so long as you have been a Cheater, and truly, if you had not been a Cheater, I could not have been an Informer; For indeed, an In­former is the Off-spring of a Cheater, and there is a greater Alliance between us then you discern, and you ought to have a Patternal and Na­tural Love for Informers. Forasmuch as they are your Natural Chil­dren, the Fruit and Product of your own Bowels, for as Covetousness begets Rogues, and Cheaters, so Rogues and Cheaters beget Informers. For where there is no Law, there is no Transgression, so where there is no Law-breakers, there is no Informers. So that if you will consider how long you have been a Cheater, you may partly guess how long I have been an Informer.

Why, then, if I make my Calculation from thence, which looks ve­ry feasable, I'll tell you, that I was born Honestly, I was Named Honest, and Christened and Educated Honestly; and so I lived and continued, until I got into the Kings Service, where I soon met with such strong motives that forced me to turn Cat in Pan, and to get Money, I soon changed my Principle and Opinion too.

Why, is the Kings Service, which used and ought to be the Seat of Vertue, become the School of Vice? Is that so Infectious as to Poyson Men Principles and Opinions?

No, not the Service it self, but some Persons Imployed in it, it was they Poysoned me, for if one scabby Sheep will spoil a whole flock; how was it possible that I could escape amongst so many, for being Prompt by the Precepts and Example of others to do as they did; And it being continually sounded in mine Ears, that there was a Cheating Trade in fashion, and that they were Fools and Rogues that had not a hand in it, and that Honesty was looked on with an Evil Eye, they were Accounted as Punies and Cowards, and that many for that Reason had been dismised; whereupon I even tack't about and steered the common course, and that to curry favour with the times, as one wittily observes, tell me your Company and I'll tell you your manners.

But then, when you changed your course, you should have chang­ed your Name too; and not added Hypocrisie to Cheating, it being my Opinion that every Man should appear in his proper Colours, and neither deny his Name or Profession.

But I will not allow of that Doctrine, for then every Man that commits an unlawful Act, must make it has Profession, which is wholly repugnant to the moad of the times; for we find by daily experience, and that every Sessions produces fresh Instances, that most Men of Evil Principle do go by several Names, and are often Arreigned by the Name of A. B. alias, C. D. alias, E. F. alias, G. H. &c. Whereby it is manifest, that Men of bad Principles do frequently change their Names, and if it were possible, would change their Natural shapes too, as they do their Garbs, rather then be discovered, as is Intimated by Don Quevedo in his Dream concerning the Resurrection, when one pretended his Body and Soul was mismacht, another had got a head that was none of his own, and others ran away from their own Bodies, because they would not be known: And Mahomet, and Jack of Leyden, was so ashamed of their own Names, that they would assume the Name of the Traytor Judas, and did quarrel and contend for the same, and altho I was a Knave by profession, yet I continued the Name of Honesty, and that purely to co­ver the Crimes of Knavery; but however, as you say, you ae not a pet­ty Informer, so I am not a petty Fogger, for I did not Play the Knave for triffles: No, I did not change my Name for nothing, for I made my own market and got Honey enough by the bargain, but Prethe tell me, what it is I am Prosecuted for?

Why, it is for Plundering of Prizes that you have taken, and Em­bezzeling Ships and Goods, and Converting the same to your own use, without giving any Account thereof to the King, or regard to the Ships Company, for if you had but made a fair Distribution amongst them, I believe they would not have complained against you.

Why should I be Prosecuted for that? When I know that in the Dutch Wars, and in the beginning of the late War, it was Custo­mary and Lawful to plunder all that was above the Gun Deck in any Prize; Except Arms, Ammunition and Tackling, and that by Vertue of an Act of Parliament, made in the 13th. Year of King Charles the IId. and since it is so, Pray where is the offence in me, more then in others? As for my part, I took but my degree in doing as others did.

Ay, but you have broke that Custom, and out-run that Law, and a­nother too; for besides your Pillaging above the Gun Deck, you have plundered all Ships and Goods too, Embezzled and Sold them, which is a great Cheat and a Breach of trust too.

The former Law I don't much fear, for if I am tried before a Court Marshal upon the Breach of that Statute; I don't doubt, but I shall come off well enough.

But you are not Prosecuted upon that Statute, neither to be tried by a Court-Marshal now.

Pray where must I be tried then? And upon what Statute, and when was it made?

Why, you are Prosecuted upon the Statute of Anno Quarto, and Quinto of his present Majesty, Intituled an Act for encouraging of Pri­vateers, &c. Whereby it is provided that no Embezzelments shall be made of Prize Goods, taken or retaken from His Majesties Enemies; but that all such Goods with the Arms, Ammunition and Furniture of such Ships shall be reserved intire and free from such Embezzelments, and shall not be pillaged in any Case whatsoever; But that all such Ships and Goods shall be delivered to some Agent belonging to the King, and shall be sold by Inch of Candle for the best advantage, and that three tenths of the neat proceed after all Charges allowed, shall be divided and paid in proportion to the several Officers and Marriners that were at the taking of them; besides 10 Pound allowed for ever piece of Ordnance in Ships, taken or destroyed under the Commission of His Majesties E­nemies. And that all Officers offending against this Statute, shall an­swer the Goods by them Embezzeled, and shall forfeit 500 l. and be dis­abled from bearing any Office under His Majesty for the space of 7 Years, and upon this Statute you are Prosecuted in His Majesties Court of Ex­chequer.

Is not that Act repealed? I know there was a Bill, 'twas read the last Sessions of Parliament for repealing part of that Act, by Indemni­fying Captains of such penalties and disabilities, as might be Inflicted on them on pretence of Embezzeling Prize Goods, and truly, I made all the interest I could to put it forward.

I do believe you, but you were grosly mistaken, by thinking to Im­pose or put tricks on that Honourable House, for altho they are always ready to relieve the guiltless, yet they are as careful to punish offenders; Indeed, had your Allegations proved as they were represented to them, you might have depended on them for relief, but they were so well pos­sess'd of the truth of the Fact charged against you, and of the great Em­bezzelments made by you, and of the several mismanagements com­mitted by you during the late War, that they thought fit to drop that Bill and Leave you to the Law; Knowing that if you were Prosecuted for pretended Embezzelments, the Court upon Tryal would relieve you, and altho you may think it unreasonable to forfeit and pay the Penalty of that Act, yet I tell you, you have no cause to complain, for before that Act was made, it was then Death for any Man to Embezzel any Arms, Ammunition, or Tackling of any Prize, but you have Embezzeled Ship, Cargo, Tackle, &c. To a great Value, and therefore I think you are kindly used, if you can be excused for 500 l.

That is not all, I shall be disabled from serving His Majesty for the space of seven Years, and lose my share of Prize Money too.

Your share of Prize Money cannot be much, by reason you Embez­zeled the whole, and Converted the Money to your own use, if you have lately given any Account to the Commissioners for Prizes, it is a thing of small moment, your share of that will amount to little; as to the losing of your Commission I think it very reasonable, that those who have be­trayed their trust and cheated the King and Seamen as you have done, should be dismised from any further Service in this Government, the Justice of the Court will decide the Controversie according to the merits of the cause.

[...] Life you startle me now, I did not Dream of this, yet I must confess, I have heard as much, but I swear I did not mind it, this is very severe; but I hope, my good Service that I have perform'd in serving the King and Countrey will attone for my miscarriage, I'll give that in as a special Plea in my defence, or I'll deny the charge, for what you say, is no Proof.

Well, you may plead, or deny what you please; I doubt, that will avail you little, for if there want proof, your whole Ships Company can prove the fact, and as for your serving the King and Countrey, it is but a Jest: I have heard you say that your chiefest, nay, your whole design was to serve your self. And indeed, that is sufficiently manifest to the whole Nation; but however, I would not have you dispair, you have good Friends and Great ones too, and I know, that Friendship may avail you much in this Case.

Yea, I have good Friends, it was them that preferred me, and would do me any Kindness they can; but now I am prosecuted in Courts of Justice, and am to be Tryed by Justice her self, who holds the Scales upon an equal Bal­lance, and will not be busied by Flattery, or Friendship.

Why then you seem to be afraid of Justice?

Yes I am, I don't know how to look her in the Face, the very Name strikes a Terrour to me, and I know she'll take their part.

Good lack, how Men differ in Opinions! She is, In my mind, cer­tainly the most Beautiful and Chaste, the most Modest and Vertuous Wo­man in the whole World, and is, by all Honest Men, Adored and Admired as our mighty Preserver and Defender from Rage, Violence, and Oppressi­on, &c. and the King is a great Admirer of her, he hugs her in his Bo­some, and preserves and maintains her as one of the highest Rank; and to be plain, now she is not supported and protected in her full Splendour and Grandure, the People cannot be secure in their Persons, or Estates; be­sides I never heard that she was any Partaker, and I know it is impossible that she can.

Well, I don't know what to say to her; but if I were to choose, I would be Tryed by Mercy in another Court; for I cannot indure to think of Justice in Authority.

You may talk what you please, you must be Tryed before her, but Mercy will be there; for Justice will not act or do any thing without Mercy, for she is her own Sister.

Ay, but I have known Mercy to act without Justice many a time; for it is not long since my Self, my Wife, and others of my Family, were car­ried before a Justice to answer the Complaint of a Widdow, whom, iudeed, we had all Abus'd, but Mercy hectored the Widdow, and her two Friends that came to attend her; one of them he threatned to Bind over, for speak­ing in the Widdows Behalf; but that not frightning him, the Justice thun­dered him out of Doors, and silence the other; and the Widdow being Abashed at those rugged Proceedings, although her Complaint was con­firmed by the Affidavits of several Persons, was set aside, and thereby my Self, and Family, were mercifully delivered: O Blessed Justice and Mercy!

O! I remember that, I was there then, it was I that was Threatned and thundred out of Doors; but that wa'nt Justice that did that. he was only called so; and that Mercy that was there, is a Monster, one that will ruine a Thousand good People, to gratifie one Friend.

I suppose he smelt that you were an Informer, that made him turn you out of his House, for fear that you would have Opened or Explained the Widdows Cause; truly I did not care to see you there my self, especi­ally when you pray'd Mr. Justice to cast an Eye, or look over that Affi­davit my Men Swore against me, for breaking open the Widdow's Son's Chest; truly I was afraid he would have Bound me to have answered it, which he would certainly have done, if he had not been a merciful Man: I [Page 18]protest I was glad to see him let fly at you, and snatch the Affidavit out of your Hand, and throw it one way, and send you another; I wish'd with all my Heart he would have sent you to Prison.

Truly I believe you; but, I conceive, he had more Wit than Justice; for if he had Committed me, I would have Inform'd against him, to that great Lady Justice, and have sued him for Satisfaction; and that, I believe, made him afraid to execute his Threats; for I'll tell you that Justice her self has decreed, That if any Justice of the Peace shall presume to Commit or Punish any Person contrary to her own Dictates, that then in such Cases she will punish them; and for that reason she has decreed, That none shall exe­cute the Office of a Justice, that has not a sufficient Estate to make Satisfaction to those Injured by them, many of them has paid Sawce for their Injustice and Partiality.

Well, I don't know what to say to this great Lady Justice that you talk of; yet I remember now, I have had Business with her my self several times; and truly, I always received a great deal of Satisfaction from her; for I observed, that she made no difference between Rich and Poor, No­ble and Base, but decided all Controversies, according to the Merits of the Cause: Besides, I must confess, that she has bestowed an Hundred Favours on me, by preserving me from Violence, and restoring me to my Rites and Priviledges.

Why then since you have received so many Favours formerly, what makes you fear her now?

Why truly my Case is different now, for then I appeared on the Right side with a good Cause, but now I must stand on the Left to answer a bad one; which puts me in mind of one of our Captains, who not long since was fined an Hundred Pounds for Embezeling the Naval Stores, and another you told me of, that paid three Hundred Pounds for Cheating the King of his Customs; besides the little Gunner that hangs in the Air at Chatham, for Embezeling of one Barrel of Gunpowder, and rather than I'll fall under those Sentiments, I'll follow the Example of that great Hero that killed Lieutenant Cole for Inform­ing against him; yea, I'll Sacrifice him wheresoever I meet him, that dare pre­sume to Inform against me.

I must confess, that a desperate Disease requires a desperate Cure; but alas, such desperate Actions does not extinguish but augment the Offence; and although you may Imagine such rash and violent Actions are the Ensigns of Courage and Magnanimity, yet they are no more than the Effects of Madness and Despair: Indeed a Sword is a necessary Companion for a Prudent and well govern'd Man, but it is pity that Fools and Madmen should be suffered to wear them: I remember t'other Day a Bravado drew his Sword in a great passion, but when he see it naked in his Hand, he did quiver and shake; in­deed I put it up for him that time, with a Proviso, that he should draw it no more in my Company; and as for that Hero you speak of, I hear he was in Newgate, and was Arraigned and found Guilty of Man-slaughter, for that barbarous Action, which, if he had not been a Fool, he might have complied [Page 19]with his Marriners, and have saved Money enough to have maintain'd him­self for ever; but I perceive my Discourse signifies nothing to you, and therefore since you care not for my Company, or Conversation, I'll bid you heartily Adieu, for I must call upon Mr. Friendly, an Acquaintance of yours.

Mr. Friendly, Sir, I am come to thank you for the many Favours I have received of you, and do give you many Thanks therefore, and am hear­tily glad to see you in good Health.

Truly Neighbour this is kindly done of you, and I am glad to see you well; pray Sir sit down, for I have something to say to you that is serious, and was thinking to send for you to discourse you, and advise you in a Matter of great Importance, and my Wife Civility is very urgent with me about it.

Truly, Sir, as you have so often obliged me, so I shall esteem my self happy in your Favour, and shall thankfully take and follow your Advice in any thing that concerns me.

I hope you will, for you may assure your self that I shall advise you nothing but what shall be honest, and for your good: But to proceed, pray when did you see Capt. Honesty?

Truly, Sir, I just parted with him; he and I has had a long Con­ference about Cheating and Informing.

Pray what was the Subject of your Discourse?

Truly I charged him Guilty of Breach of Trust, and of Imbezeling and Purloining of Prizes, and Prize Goods, and of Abusing and Cheating his Officers and Seamen; and he charged me, and brands me for an Infor­mer, and says they are Rogues and Villains that deserve to be Hang'd or Banish'd; and after a long Discourse Pro and Con, we parted very Friendly.

I am glad of that, for I know he is a Huffing Spark, and one that scorns to take an Affront.

And truly I scorn to give him any.

Indeed I always looked upon you as a Man of a good even Temper for that; but pray how comes he to charge you with the Scandalous Name of an Informer?

Because I Prosecute him and some others for cheating the King and Country.

Why, are you concerned in that? I heard indeed, that you and some other Persons, had Informed against several Captains, but I could not believe you were concerned in it; hang it, that's a Nasty Scanda­lous Business indeed; for shame, for shame leave that off: Prithee see what Lieutenant Cole got by Informing against Captain Elliot: Prithee let me advise and perswade you to leave it off, and betake your self to some­thing that is Honest.

O dear, is Mr. Fidelity an Informer? I hope not, I am heartily sorry to hear that; I hope, Husband, you will advise him better; pray, [Page 20]my Dear, see what you can do: Pray Neighbour, be Advised by my Hus­band.

Yes, Madam, I shall be glad of his Advise; I know he is a Wise Man, and one that is able to give good Counsel.

Then if you will take my Advice, I would desire you to consider what a Reproach and Scandal you'll bring upon your self by Informing, and how you will be slighted and hated by all good Men; and truly if you don't decline it, I shall be very shy of your Company my self: An Informer! Fie, fie, it is the hatefullest Name that is; pray leave it, pray let me per­swade you to decline it, and follow your Trade, I know you may have Business enough, and I will be a help to you in Business my self.

Pray good Neighbour mind my Husband, and take his Advice, I am sure he will give you good Counfel; pray don't he advise you well, and speak a great deal of reason?

Yes truly, I like his Discourse, and thank him for his good Coun­sel, but I don't apprehend why an Informer should be so hateful; I know Vicious Men that break Bounds by Cheating, Robing, and Oppressing Ho­nest People, cannot endure him; I know they hate him for discovering their Villanies; but what of that, would you have him decline an Act of Justice, to curry favour with Rogues and Villains, whom every Honest Man ought to suppress? Truly I cannot see any reason that you or any Body else, I mean any honest Body has to slight me for that; for every Body knows. that the detecting of Villains, is the preserving of Honest People; and truly I met with none of them but what does highly commend me for what I do.

I don't know who you call Honest People, the general Vogue of the People discovers an Abhorrence of an Informer; the very Name, with­out regard to the Extent or Office of it, is an Odium of the most hateful­lest Name amongst us.

You talk of the general Vogue of the People; why truly I think no Man in his right Wits ought to mind the report of the Popular Multitude; for they are as variable as the Wind, which is always shifting, or like the Moon, never constant; truly I think we ought to regard the Advice of one Honest Man, far above the Report of the biassed and deceived Mul­titude.

Why do you think my Husband is biass'd, or deceived? No, I scorn your Words, I'd have you to know, he understands himself as well as the best Man in our Parish.

Yes, Madam, I believe that; but he may be misled by false Notions, as many Thousands are in Opinions: As for Instance, The Papists do affirm that Bread once Consecrated, is no more Bread, but that it then is the real Flesh and Blood of our Blessed Saviour, and do declare all those Hereticks, that will not believe it; and many Thousands have suffered Death, because they would not own it; and as that Argument has been maintain'd by all the Romish Tribes, so it has been as stiffly opposed by all the Protestants in [Page 21]the Universe; so then, if the Name of an Informer, which you say, and I believe, is such an Odium amongst the biassed or deceived People, be of so great Esteem as I say amongst the Honest, Judicious, and Unbiass'd sort, then certainly I ought to adhere to them; and since it is impossible for any Man to conform in Principle to two contrary Opinions, I will decline the biggest Party, and side with the best, whose Judgment, my Conscience bears me Wit­ness, I ought to follow.

Yes, I know that People do differ much in Opinions, but what I say is reason, and truly I must tell you, I do not approve of an Informer my self, I hate the very Name; let Honesty say what he pleases, that shall never reconcile me to an Informer; no, I have been too much bitten by them my self, you know I have used the Sea a great while, and have been Master of many a good Ship, and have made many a good Voyage, and in­deed they might have been much better, if it had not been for those Catter­pillers; they took from me one Night my Longboat full of rich Goods, 'twas four Hundred Pounds damage to me my Wife knows.

Pray what did they take it by force of Arms?

No, they pretended they were Officers belonging to the Cu­stom-House, and Seized them because they were not Entered, nor the Du­ties paid.

Why then they were not all your own, unless the Duties were paid; for the King had a full and lawful Right to the Duties, that you know, and that you would have cheated him of, by making a Devil as well call it, i. e. by running them in the Night; so that you designing to Cheat the King, was Chous'd your self, and truly you were served right, for he that did that, did only bite the Biter.

Pray Husband don't talk no more to him, he does but Banter you for your good Will; Hang him, let him go like a Knave as he is.

Truly I am no Knave, neither was he that Seized them Goods, for they were not properly yours.

Yes they were, for I am sure I bought and paid honestly for them.

Honestly, pray not too much of that; how could you pretend those Goods were honestly paid for, before the Duties were paid? You know the King had as much Right to the Duties incumbent upon them, as the Person that sold them had to the Goods; so that then you had only a Right to the one part, which, like a Cheating Gamester, you ventu­red against the other part; and, like the greedy Dog in the Fable, lost both.

Indeed I am sorry to hear you talk on at this rate; truly I had a better Opinion of you, and did intend upon the Return of this Voyage, to have imployed you upon my Ships Business, and assisted me in carrying off some Goods, which should have been to your Advantage, but since I have sounded your Pulse I'll have nothing to do with you.

Well, if you will not imploy me, the King will; ay, and encou­rage me to, and it is possible I may circumvent you in your Knavish and dark Designs.

The King Imploy and Encourage you; no, I'll never believe that he has any Respect for Informers.

That's your mistake, for Informers are the Eyes of a King; 'tis they that keep Watch and Ward to preserve him from Violence and Injury; for as Kings and Princes have long Arms, and wide Ears, so they have many Eyes; that is, the Eyes of his Subjects, whose Duty it is to take care that no Violence, or Injury, be attempted, or committed against their Soveraign.

Yes, I'll hold with you there; but what I blame you for, is for Informing against Honest Gentlemen for Breach of Trust, and for Embezel­ing of Prizes, and running Uncustom'd Goods, which is a common thing now adays, and every Body would do that if they could.

Although it is Common, it is not Lawful; and though you blame me for Informing, you ought your self, in some cases, to turn In­former.

Who I? What would you have me turn Informer? No, I'll be Hang'd first.

Truly you had better be Hang'd; then be Damn'd; for if you know of any Conspiracies against the King's Peace, and don't Inform, you are Forsworn.

How can I be Forsworn, I never took a Solemn Oath in all my Life.

No? Pray what was you and I Sworn to, when we were made Free of the City? If you have forgot, I'll tell you the Words verbatim; Ye shall know no Gatherings, Conventicles, nor Conspiracies made against the King's Peace, but ye shall warn the Mayor thereof; Ergo, if you know any such thing, you are Sworn to Inform.

Ho that, I had forgot that, it was so long ago; besides, that's none of my Business, my care is to get an Honest Livelihood, in doing which, if I should make a Hog or two, to save the Custom of a parcel of Goods, would you discover it if you knew it?

You had best try me, you know I am obliged to do my Duty, and I think it unreasonable that you should cheat the King of his Duties; tru­ly, if I should know any Person to rob or cheat you of your Lawful Right, I would acquaint you of it; you may call it Informing, or what you please.

Ay, that is a Neighbours part, and I should heartily thank you for it, and gratifie you too, because it would be for my Advantage, but disco­vering the t'other would be to my Prejudice.

Then I conceive you are altogether for Self-Interest, you care not who Sinks nor who Swims, to cheat the King and Country too, is all one to you, so you get Money, you have no respect to Justice.

Justice, what do ye tell me of Justice? I never got any thing by her, nor do I Sesire to have any thing to do with her, or to know what she is, or where she is.

I believe you, but if I be not mistaken, here she is, and I'll go wait on her. Most Illustrious Madam, Heavens protect your Ladiship, and your Ladiship protect me your Vassal, abused and contemned for my Fidelity.

That's no new thing for Fidelity to be abused and contemned, I my self am not free from the Clamour of Evil Tongues, who, if it were possible, would rend and tear me to pieces, were not I supported by all the Powers of Heaven and Earth, and by the Power of my Supporter I'll protect you.

Madam, my Safety depends on your Virtue, it is you always that must support me, my Adversary Injustice, supported with Fraud and De­ceit, seeks to devour me for complaining of their Villanies, and discovering their Vices.

I have heard as much, and am an Eye-witness to some Hard­ships that has been put upon you, I know you are stiled and branded for Informing against Offenders, but I would not have you be dismay'd, I'll weigh your Causes in an equal Ballance, and with my Sword I'll do you Justice; for to me it seemeth reasonable, Informers should have all Judicial Encouragement; forasmuch asian Informer is the Supporter and main Pillar of the Law, and if it were not for them, the Law would be of no effect the Violaters thereof, would trample it under Foot, and the Care and Wisdom of all Ages would become extinct; for it is not the Law it self, that keeps Mankind in Obedience, but the Vigilancy and Integrity of those Persons, who, in respect to the Safety, and Well-being of their King and Country, do take care to preserve that Sacred part of the Government, that it may not be destroyed and torn to pieces; there is many good Laws now in force, which were intended for good purpose; one was lately made for punishing Profaneness and Immorality, and was commended by all good Men, but for want of Courage, or Encourage­ment, I have not heard of any so good as to put the same in Execution, unless occasioned by Envy and Malice, and then one Blasphemer has In­formed against another; which appeared to me, as if the Devil had been correcting Vice: The other Laws for preventing Frauds, Collusions, and other general Calamities in the Government, has been ineffectual, by reason of the Negligence, or Connivance of some Inferiour Magistrates, or for want of due Encouragement to Informers.

I have heard Honesty, and Friendly, with his Wife Civility, and although they Rail, Cavil, and Quarrel with you, it is my Judgment that they are in the Fault, for if they were Faultless, you would not, nay, you could not hurt them; and therefore what they say is only to discou­rage you, that so they may the better carry on their Chearing and Clan­destine Practises; wherefore I do Advise and Direct you to persevere in [Page 24]what you have so faithfully and justly undertaken, and I will Protect and Encourage you so far as the Rules of Justice will permit; being my self appointed, commanded, and resolved to Administer Justice, with e­qual distribution to Rich and Poor, without respect of Persons; being well assured, that nothing is more acceptable in the Sight of God, nor more pleasing and profitable to the King and Kingdom. The King of His princely Wisdom hath proclaimed Days of Solemn Fast, to be Re­ligiously observed throughout the Kingdom, for Adverting those Judgments Impending on this Nation: The Almighty made an Overture to the Peo­ple of old by the Prophet Jeremiah, as in the first Verse of the fifth Chap­ter, Run ye too and fro, &c. this shall be my Task, this will I perform by the Power of the Almighty who knoweth but that so good a Work may put a stop to the Groans and Cries of the Oppressed, and thereby Avert those Impending Judgments, that the Oppressions and Injustice of this Na­tion justly hath deserved.

Quis adipisci veram gloriam volant Justitia fungantur officiis:

They that will get true praise, let them discharge the Duties of Justice.