ALthough the Liberty of this age (wherin your Curranto's, Pasquils and lying Pamphlets swarm so abundantly) hath made all News (how serious and substantial soe­ver) liable to the jealous imputation of falshood; yet I assure you, this present Relation, though presented unto you in a borrowed form, yet for the substance or matter is as neer allied to truth, as light to the Sun.

To hold you then in no further suspence, know, that about the be­ginning of this present Summer, the Prince of darkness, called a gene­ral Assembly of all the infernal spirits, who with winged hast atten­ded his summons, and being met and the grand Diabolo mounted on a throne of sulphur, accompanied with his Cabinet Councel the seven deadly sins, he began a very passionate complaint of the great decay and imminent ruine of his Kingdom, if some speedy course were not taken to prevent it, for which he had called them together requiring their devilish advice. He recounted unto them, how they were altogether cast out of heaven by the Almighty Power, for which common wrong although their confederate malice did oblige them all to seek revenge, yet himself had done it by a most subtile insinuation, withdrawing the first Adam. man that ever was from's obedience to his Maker. And this first atchievement (quoth he, my friends and fellow fiends) was by your assistance so happily prosecuted, that in a short space I got the soveraignty of all the world, and the whole race of mankind became my vassals.Hearheu­ism. I had my Temples and Statues, my Oracles and Altars whereat I was sought with that devotion, and all my hests observed with that singular obedience, that I accounted my self the god of this world, for whom they thought not themselves and the children of their own bodies too dear a sacrifice. In the pride of this universal Mo­narchy I sate Lord Paramount without controul above 3000. years, but then you know aChrist. child was born, in whom was all the fulness of the eternal godhead, by whose divine power and wisdom my Oracles were silenced, my Temples slighted, my Worship cast out, my Altars cast down, my Statues overthrown, and indeed my whole Kingdom so shattered, that all my Diabolical stratagems were little erough to keep together the pieces of a broken State. I must confess that the true Christian State was nothing in compari­son [Page 3]of my vast Empire, but yet the greatness of our pride and ma­lice that could not endure a rival in this inferior world, or that a creature so inferior to us should enjoy those blessed seats, from whence we our selves were with so much indignation detruded, after it had in vain attempted the person of this heavenly KingPersecu­tion. en­deavored with as ill success the extirpation of his subjects and King­dom. Many were the ways and projects I used for the effecting hereof, but all in vain, till at last my devillish invention found out a device, being assisted in it, I acknowledg, with all your hellish coun­cels, that I thought all the power and policy under heaven could ne­ver frustrate: I broke my brains and crackt my mischievous pate so about it, that I doubt I shal never do the like again. And indeed for a long time it answered my expectation to the full, for I built a gorgeous palace upon one of the seven hilsRome. in Italy, wherein I pla­ced my own dear sisterThe Pope. Jezabel (a notable cunning whore) who acted her part so wel, with herPopery. paintings, dressings, counterfeit beauties and shews of holiness, that in short time she was courted by all the Princes and Gallants of Christendom, whom she intoxi­cated so with a philtre that I gave her in a cup of gold compounded of all the damnable impostures, lyes, heresies and blasphemies, that my bottomless wit could possibly devise or afford, that by her means, in the very midst of that temple that was built to the name and honor of God, my own image was set up and visited from all parts of the earth. But these happy days had their end at last; all my impostures were discovered by one of my ownLuther. votaries, and such aThe Gospel. light of everlasting truth set up, that I shal never be able to extinguish again; and yet my devillish pate did not quite fail me at this pinch, but at that very instant hatcht another brood ofAnabap­tists and other Se­ctaries. Cro­codiles, who by their fained tears, counterfeit humilty and shews of holiness, inticed thousands to run after them, and by new lights or ignes fatui of their own giddy heads, lead them about such vagaries, that they brought 'em at last to a grosser darkness then that they escaped and to the midst of that Babel that they thought they were clean got out of: What sweet villanies they acted by vertue of their dreams & revelations, as seditions, rebelions, murders, rapes, robberies, sacriledge, crying down Ministers, Churches, Sabbaths, Sacraments Scriptures, even Christ himself, till they had left in most places scarce any face of Religion, I cannot without much contentment remem­ber. In most places they found a strong opposition, but especially in England, by means of 26.Bishops. Elders that then governed there, but that [Page 4]was not much to my loss, for indeed as the game then went, it was all one to me who won. But now the case is altered there, my sun is quire set, and now I am like to end my days in everlasting sorrow; for in that poor despised Country there is a Parliament called that wil give Laws, I doubt, to all the world, they are to strongly assisted with counsel and strength; and Assembly of Divines and a potent City, that—he had surely gone on but his troubled thoughts knew not which ways to render themselves, and so his speech failing, he began to swelWith cuvy as though he would have burst. The damned crew then and there present, seeing their soveraign so disconsolate, be­gan to cheer him up with comfortable speeches, and the seven dead­ly sins supported him, or else he had sunk down in a fwoon.

Dear soveraign (quoth they) why are you troubled so at a trifling matter? What if that pedling Kingdom were quite lost, have you not still a world of vast Signiories besides? You have more reason to rejoyce at that you have left, then grieve at a little that is fort; and yet it is not lost neither.

For if you please to take a view of that Kingdom, or if that be too much labor, of their chief London. City, (and by that you may judg of the rest) you shal find (we speak within compass) three parts of four are yours stil. At that word the envious man began to smile and look up a little. If you will but consider (quoth they) their beast­ly drunkenness, their horrible swearing, whoring, lying, couzening, cheating, envy, malice, slandering, open and secret murder, cove­tousness, oppression; how devoutly they worship God upon their elbows and out-face him in his own hous, with their pride, painting, perfuming, curling. How they fast to save a dinner, and humble themselves upon their cushions, in tissue, silk, satin, and strange apparel, beauty spots, naked breasts, and breeches about their heels, as if they were offering some sacrifice to Venus; besides their un­speakable epicurism, gluttony, riot, and all excess. If you did but know all your secret friends and see all your profest servants that wear your Livery in their locks and badg in their faces: Do but mark how our schollers out-do us that taught them, and rec­kon what millions we poor seven have multiplied unto, and then you wil say we have done our parts, and not lost but gained you a Kingdom. And of those that scape our claws, we beleeve that He­resie and Hypocrisie can give you a reasonable account. The grand Diabolo gave them all thanks for their faithful services, but heard [Page 5]their discourse with smal contentment, for stil (he told them) they mist the mark he shot at. For quoth he, if thisPar [...] ment Assem [...] Triumvirate hold together, what wil become of all us? No, No, I know too wel, the commanding power of that divine word, they are now setting up, what an alteration it makes in mens minds; If that design go forward, you shal quickly find a general revolt of mens affections from you, and then what wil become of all you, when every man shal become a Constable to apprehend, a Judg to condemn you, and his own conscience, a tribunal to arraign you at? No, No, if this go forward, we may bid farewel to these upper regions, and confine our selves to the Land of darkness eternally. For besides the loss of that pretty place, which perhaps I might brook with some degree of forc't patience, it will be such a president for all the world to follow, that I am at my wits end to think of it? No, No, if ever we hope for happy days again, we must defeat the purposes of this Triumvirate: and that by Stix I know not how to do, they go on with such unanimity and undaunted resolution. Divide them, and so I shal master them, and now I think on't I have a fit instrument for that purpose; and that is my cosen Ignatius, Provincial of theJes [...] order of the Spanish Loyo [...] rogue? I think you all know him; when they heard him but named, there was a great shout, as if their dying hopes were in him revived again, that he should be sent for: Indeed quoth Diabolo, he is the only staff of my old age, and stay of my tottering state; and in brief, such dispatches were made, that the Jesuite was with them that night. To pass by the entertainment, being sate at his right hand, the father of lies communicated to him their former consulta­tions, in a word desiring his advice. The Frier reployed, a three­fold cord is not easily broken, unless it be first untwisted, for the do­ing whereof he offered his best service. The old Serpent accepted it very thankfully, considing much in the Friers malice and mische­vous wit, and the rather, because he was one of his own brood. But the red Dragon out of tender affection to his vassals, by reason of a cruel Law in England, was much troubled at one thing, how he should scape the gallows if he came there. The Jesuite smiling at the Divels simplicity, and foolish pitty; Good Sir (quoth he) take you no care of that; [Page 6]For if there were a pure necessity of my personal service, I can carry two faces under one hood, and yet I have more hoods then one too; I have so many tricks to delude all laws that indeed I fear none: I can swear, ly, dissemble, aequivocate, swagger, and look demure, I can play fast, and loose, Ruffian or Round-head, Puritan or Pro­testant, Separatist, Atheist, Independent, or any thing, and change my shape a thousand times a day. I can use the matter so, that they which hate me most, use me best, banish me the Country by a Pub­lick Law, and open their very bosoms to me through a private mi­stake. By this means I have a key to every lock, that neither coun­cels of Princes, nor closets of great men, nor press, nor pulpit, nor Church, nor conventicle, can shut me out of doors. Having so many advantages and such opportunities, what end so difficult that I can­not compass? Or what mischief so horrid and desparate that I dare not attempt, having so many disguises to escape and fly away in? The old Serpent stood amazed at the transcendent villany of this whorson, and to see himself out-done so by such a youngster, was half ashamed; some think jealous and afraid too, least in time he might depose him, and usurp his Kingdom of darkness.

But Sir, to be short, (quoth the frier) you are more afraid then hurt; and I much admire your intelligence fails you so much. For Pride and Coveteousness, lying and slandering have made such di­visions already, that I hope there is no more for us to do, but fall upon the spoyl: And one thing puts me almost clear out of doubt, that all wil be ours, we have such an Army of friends there, that are very active, and indeed stout Champions for you: you have Anabaptists, Brownists, Seperatists, Familists, Antinomians, Arminians, Socinians, Arrians, Antiscriptu­rists, Antisabbatarians, soul-sleepers, self-seekers, Adamites, Familists, Independents, and Millions more; but that I am loth to puzzle your memory with such a Catalogue of hard names. That little Country is grown Affrick yeilds yearly as many Monsters in Religion, as all that quarter of the world doth in nature.

The old Devil with a filthy shrug and an ugly look, shewed some discontent for all this, for (quoth he) they are most of them suchgrand dissemblers, that I dare not trust them my self; and their daily rai­lings on me what ever your opinion is, makes my jealous of them.

What the divel ailes you, quoth the Frier? cannot you tel when you are wel? if they speak against you and do for you; if they put down one sin, and set up three; pul down one Pope, and set up [Page 7]many thousands; cannot bear with an idle word, and yet belch out a thousand horrid Blasphemies: I think you are never the worse, if you can be content, you have more friends then ever you did hope for; and those that wil do more for you, then you can in modesty request, or ever had the confidence to ask of any reasonable men. For they reject the Scriptures, refuse the Sacraments, deface, pro­phane, and pul down temples, deny the Church, supplant the Mi­nistry, damn tithes, though Gods own portion, speak evil of Dig­nities, and not only despise, but ovgerthrow all government, and so lay all level, and common for all comers. Indeed they deny Christ, blaspheme the holy Trinity, whereat we all tremble, and even curse God to his face: and now what could you devise to ask more, if you were to be your own chooser? And now because per­haps another doubt or fear may trouble you, that sure such horrid things should never find admittance, in any Common-wealth of Chri­stians or civil men; To resolve you further, I can tel you what pretty engines they have to screw them in. first, (though tithes be Gods own portion which all the world knows, he gave to his Ministers for their labours in the Church, and no man can tel when they were taken away again) yet they have damned tithes, and all enforced maintenance (as they call it) as Antichristian, when as indeed it is the only way to set up Antichrist or any thing else, what your self can devise to possess the many and giddy-headed people withal to require. And so whereas heretofore it was, like Priests, like people; now it wil be a great deal worse, like people, like Priest: all makes for you stil. And this engine the silly people themselves tug at for a smal advantage, though it may prove their e­ternal ruin; for when the shepards that watch over the flock are scat­tered for want of a livelihood, we may worry the flock at our plea­fure. A second engine, whereby they work in all these abomina­tions, is a Toleration of Religion, and Liberty of Conscience; for if that be once granted for the ease of all their tender Consciences; then why not for Papists, Jews, Turks, and Pagans: for they may have as tender Consciences to plead for, as any of the other? And if these things be once effected, what prophaness, heresie or villany under heaven wil not easily be acted? I might add, how they per­swade the people, 'tis contrary to the freedom of a Gospel-people, to be fettered with any Laws or Government. And that you may see how wel the Lawes of man are like to scape, they have begun with the Law of God, and abrogated that already. To be [Page 8]brief, Sir; heretofore all the burden of Christendom lay upon my neck, but now these good souls, have eased me of a great deal of labour, and you of a great deal of care: The distempers of that Kingdom you shal see ascend to the head or chief place, and cause a phrensy of confusion; The Aflembly make their wil, and the Par­liament by speechless for a time; and if it recovers not beyond ex­pectation, Iron-sides shal do you such a piece of service, shal make you a glorious Prince again. The Rogue was heard with the gene­ral applause, and good likeing of all the Assembly, and so the old Devil between hope and fear, adjourned the Assembly until their next meeting.

We are warned hereby, what a sweet puddle, our false Apostles suck their principles from: and what black ends their fair pretences so furiously drive at, that are so zealous for toleration, and so maliciously mad against all Church maintenance and Government. They have begun with the Church, and the vermin lay ferretting at the Common wealth too, and wil never leave til they gnaw out the very bowels of it. And therefore honest Country men, take heed of those that to please you, and pleasure themselves, plead so hotly against Tithes. Many there be that plead for the ease of the beast til they get into the sadle themselves, and then who ride harder then they? Take heed of those that plead so hard for toleration; those almost Christians, half-Turks, semi-Jewes; take heed how you hear them, or what you grant them, for they know not what to ask, or when to make an end: Would their desires were as harmless, as boundless; but if some speedy course be not taken to stop their farther progress, we shal have Mahomet the second start up at last, with new revelations, and in stead of holy Scrip­tures already condemned, thrust upon us another Alcaron, patcht up of all the damned Heresies since the beginning. When their out-cries for liberty have silenced all your Laws, then be­gins your slavery, not only of Conscience, but of body and goods too; for they can pillage your goods and cut your throats, and justi­fy it when they have done, with some new dream or revelation, as their fathers did in Germany; and the practise whereof themselves have justified in diverse expressions, that their mad Pamphlets bear the records of. Rub your eyes, be wise, and see in time whom you trust.