WEll met friend, what news? I perceive you come from the Coast of Scot­land.

Before I answer, give me leave to ask what Countryman you are?

I am a Yorkshire man born, and bred, I care not who knowes it, I hope true Yorkshire never denies his Country.

I thought you look'd like a subtle Blade; I defie your Country, for I am a Bonny Scot, and for news, I can tell none that may in the least measure content you.

A Bonny Scot, I cry you mercy Sir, your tongue might have deceived me, had it not been for your blew Bon­net; but surely Sir your have been more conversant in England then in your own Country, or you have learned to counter­feit, how else comes it to passe that you have forgotten your mother-tongue and speak so good English? And if Yorkshire men be such Blades, I am sure that some Scots are crafty Knaves and Cowards too, that's more; and for your news, whether it be good or bad it matters not a pin.

You may know it too sonne for ought I know, and I desire you that you will speak no more of Scotland then what you can affirm, what Scotsmen Cowards?

I as sure as louse in bosome, what I have said I will justifie of some of them.

I pray you Sir [it's well you say some] have not Scotsmen been commended for gallant souldiers in Germany, in the Low-Countries, I and in England too, otherwise how [Page 2]should I have known how to have spoken English?

How say you, in England? I thought you spake like Lancashire, and I warrant it was beaten into your head when Hambleton was your blinde guide, for there you had it to some purpose; and I beleeve all the money you can make in Scotland, will not redeem the Colours you then lost, and yet more to your honour (if you think it so) I can minde you of what is of longer antiquity, and you may take it for your better nodification, that our Chronicles make mention that in the year 1333, the English besieged the Town of Barwick, and the Scots intending to dissolve the Siege, the English met them at Bothel, and slew of them one thousand three hundred horsemen, and thirty five thou­sand footmen, and afterward took the Town, and there placed a Garrison: And in the year 1339, the Scottish King with divers Earls and Lords were taken prisoners by the English. If this bee your valour, let it bee recorded to posteritie; but really, I must needs confesse your mis­take is not very great, for (if at these and other times that I can tell you of) if Running had been Fighting, you had not lost the day.

I, I, as for your Chronicles wee cannot remember them, but I am sure wee took Newcastle by storm, although it cost some few hundred of us our lives. From thence we marched victoriously without opposition, as farre as He­reford; and returned with many Horses and gude spoil in­to our own Country; Now in this service it was my for­tune to be, by which meanes I came to speak gude English, and not by comming in with Duke Hambleton, for then wee could not do it, haste calling upon us to be gone; yet friend let me speak something for my own honour; for at that very instant (standing in the Sunne) I killed one, and had kil­led another a second time, I beleeve, but that the suddain dis­charging of a piece of Ordnance, made me forget my bullet.

I thought that you would have excused your self some other way, and said that it was not because of your va­lour, but because you could get no victuals, that you returned back again into your own Country.

Marry Sir, I think some had too much, for they took a grievous surfet of it, and for our opposers, they were so lusty that we have found the smart of it.

So, it is well that you will yeild that the English got the best, I thought you would have remained obstinate, and if you had, I should have made bold to put you in minde, of your crossing the water another time: I pray you what great Guns and Ammunition, have you now in Scotland of your own?

I, now indeed you come near the point, and as I may say to you, wee have been beholding oftentimes to o­thers, both for Horse and Ammunition, yet have we of our own too.

Now I beleeve you, for you are all for what you can get.

Well, what do you inferre upon that? Will you say we are fools for that?

No, I will not make any inference, because I do not very well understand what you mean: But leaving off this impertinent discourse, what say you to the Lord Crom­wel's late march to Edenburgh?

By your favour Sir, never the more fools or knaves neither for that, for I pray what Army ever was there that could withstand them? Did they not conquer all pla­ces where ever they came? I hope you will not say that all that they have conquered are cowards; if you do, you will make cowards of as valiant men, as any are in Yorkshire at this time.

Why then you may account it an honour to be con­quered by the English-Army.

Whether it be or not, I shall not dispute, but I am certain it is no disgrace: For were not the haughty Cava­liers subdued by them? Is not the great and numerous Ar­mies, under the conduct of Generall Preston, Ormond, In­chiqueen, and others in Ireland, almost conquered by a part of this Army there: Then I say there is none yet that could withstand them.

Do you confesse this?

Yes, I grant that without any more controversie, it appearing so plain that it cannot be denied; therefore speak not to me any more of fools or cowards, for if you do give mee any more such crosse answers, I shall make you beleeve that the Scots are men; or else ile burn my Cap.

Because thou boastest so much, and beginnest to threaten, I will do what I can to vex thee; some of the Scots are Fools in the first place, Cowards in the second place, ignoble in the third place, beggarly in the fourth place, and something else in the fifth place.

Better words would better become you, unlesse you could shew wherein they are so.

I shall give you some reason for what I have said; they were Fools for invading England, Cowards that they were caught, ignoable for that they lost their honour, beg­garly for that they brought not money with them, and some­thing else for making Warre against the Parliament of Eng­land: This I have been the more plain in relating, because you could not keep your own Country, but must needs at­tempt the making of us as miserable as your selves.

Well, well, I will let you have your own saying at this time, but be sure I will pay you home in your own coyn; and now I will prove that there is more folly with you, then with us.

I beleeve you will say what you can for your self.

That I will too, therefore hear my Argument. Who­soever they be that see and know the miseries of others occa­sioned by their folly, and shall wilfully and rebelliously tread in their steps, taking the same course to bring themselves into the like condition, are worse than the former: You could not but be sensible of the miseries that the poor Scots were brought into by their figary into England with Duke Hambleton; now after this, some of you were so wise as to tread in their steps, and give advantage to them that were the causers and procurers of our miseries, so as to bring them­selves into the same condition: Ergo, —

Well profered howsoever, but yet I deny your mi­nor, [Page 5] viz. That we men of Yorkshire did joyn with them that were the procurers of yours and our miseries, thinking thereby to bring our selves into the same condition; it is no such matter, we like not your condition so well as to desire it, they that do, I say it is fit they should have it.

But Sir, before you proceed any farther, give mee leave to tell you how grossely you are mistaken in what I said; I said not that you joyned with them on purpose to make your selves miserable thereby, but that you through your folly took the onely course to bring your selves into that condition, if that some of you act and go on in the same way that some of us did before you; I remember a verse much to this purpose;

If you will not bee convinced now that some of you were in an errour, and approve of what I have said to be true, I will call the Army to be a Moderator betwixt us; were not some Yorkshire men at Burford?

I know not that, but if the Army shall be Modera­tors, we must stay untill the Army comes.

Truly, if our intelligence be right, it will not bee long before they come.

I wish they were whipt that are the cause thereof, take heed your wit fail you not again in Scotland, I beleeve you will meet with your match, if you stir again against England.

Indeed there is some fear of being ensnared by a Treaty, and what the meaning is of bringing over forraign forces, we yet know not.

I thought how wise I should finde you; me thinks had you any more wit then meer naturals, you would not suffer more mouths to come into your Land and eat up that which God sends, which is little enough to feed those that are bred and born in it: And here I shall give you some advice to carry along with you, which is this; That if you and Montrosse juggle together, the sword (or that which is worse) will meet with some of you; for it is reported he will shortly be in Scotland, whether there be an agreement with your decla­red King, or not.

What a businesse that is; is not Generall Lesley march­ing to meet them, with an Army? I warrant he will deal well enough with them, I will assure you their condition is bad e­nough: But in this (I hope) I speak not any thing against my Country.

It matter not much whether your Generall (as you call him) fights them at all, but be sure (if they come for­ward) they will be fought with.

Truly, I beleeve Sir, and I confesse unto you more, that the noise of the English Army strikes a great terrour, for many do say; That it is no more withstanding them, then it is to stop the water in the River Tweed.

I will assure you, I am of opinion, Scotland will rue the time that such ghests came thither, unlesse they take a speedy course to send them back again; for if they get the bet­ter end of the staffe, what care they what is done or not done at the Treaty at Breda.

Indeed friend I am almost of the same perswasion, and therefore shall rather stand by, and observe how others carry themselves, them to be an Actor with them. I hope we have all of us had enough of Warres and Commotions, some of us have paid dear enough for it, and that wit (they say) is best, which is dearest bought: And so at this time farewell.