FOr the indagation and redemption of Truth out of many dark counsells, black enterprises and fatal accidents, (that so through the fair perspe­ctive of my experience, and knowledge, others may attain to the discovery of things, that now lye buried in deep vaults, below the guesses of ordinary men) I shall begin a relation about the wars ending, at least when the same drew towards its declension.

The late King was for his obstinacy by some judged constant; but indeed he was one, that if he hated any man, he would never be perfectly reconciled to him, nor moved by his perswasions, though never so convincing: and yet if he loved any men (as he did sometimes for his own ends) he was almost servile to them, and for their sakes he would be almost commanded to forsake his own judgement, and knowledge. He was of him­self fierce-harted, and subtil-headed, as his enemies felt soarly, when he was left to himself: but to his flatterers, viz. his only friends, when they pleased to charm him, he was weak both in resolution, and judgement. So absolute a Master he was never­theless Rustum om­nium legum privata prin­cipis volun­tas. of dissimulation, that doubtless therein he far exceeded Tiberius, and by this art he could, when he saw occasion, close with the most mortall of his enemies, and cast off the most me­ritorious of all his friends: and this he often did when the face of his affairs changed, and required such a change in him. And though there were some (such as his Queen, and some others who in his opinion could not have severall interests from his) that did wonderfully awe him, and could drive him alwaies from his best resolutions: yet there were none at all, whom he could not dissemble withall, and reject, if he once suspected [Page 2] them contrarily interessed to his ultimate ends of Tyranny; hence it is that the world is so strangely divided about him: some men that knew him only by his favours, and viewed him at a distance, canonize him for a Saint, and Martyr, and scarce allow him second to Jesus Christ: whilst others who were dis­obliged by him, and viewed him at a neerer distance, damn him with Judas, charge him with the blood of 500000. Christians, of poysoning his Father, of betraying those of his own religi­on in France, and Germany, and of being guilty of perjury, and persidie beyond all example. This Charls, when Oxford began to grow unsafe, and he saw he was put to his last refuge, knew it concerned him to perform his master-peece, which was in plain downright termes, to decieve his own deceiving friends, by deserting them: and betaking himself to his first professing enemies, the Scots, whom he judged of all men the most noto­riou [...], and everlastingly perfidious. He fretted belike, and was stung to the quick, (his intelectuals being amused, and not so well able to order him) that he must now act a Kings part more Scenically, and not with that rigor as he was wont: but ac­cording to the instructions of his old Court moralls, he held any delusive plot honorable that might accomplish his de­signes, and so without further reluctance he thought to play the pawn of a King, so he might give check at last to the English victorious Liberty. He went not to the Scots, as imagining them more true or generous then the English: but because he knew the Scots were more easy to be wrought upon, & divided from their fellow Covenanters, then the English. Besides, the peevish humour of revenge raged in him, and this was the direct road that leads to publike mischief: otherwise being to make use of deceitfull instruments for deceits sake, he would have doubted, and feared that over reaching at last, which he found. Tis verily thought if he had cast himself upon the ingenuity of the English, and not totally lost their hearts by thus preferring the Scots before them, he might have easily out-witted them, and that his own judgement had advertised him so, had not ends of further imbroyling his three Kingdomes, and effunding more humane blood overswayed him.

Howsoever, we the more active Catholicks of his party (not [Page 3] then privy to the secret negotiations betwixt him and Mon­tril) thought his deserved ruin was at that time inevitably ap­proaching: and being left not to the wide world, but to the narrow limits of beguirt Garrisons, we immediately consulted what course was to be steered. Jam res ad restim rediit, we saw a shrewd declension attending us, and we saw as apparent a ter­giversation, or neutrality amongst our selves, after we had felt one an others pulses. This was plain to us, we could no longer serve our Catholike ends, by serving a Prince so far tottering, and who made nothing less then Religion, nothing more then Tyranny his last object, and design.

Now might you have seen whole swarms of us, creeping & crowding into those places which most befreinded us, either for privacy or opportunity; Oxford and most of the other unreduced Garrisons know this well enough.

At Oxford especially there was divers other Factions besides ours; and these, together with the wants of the Common soul­diers, who now had neither pay nor due supply, put all men upon new thoughts, and deliberations. Rupert had no small boyes among the Generall Officers that sided with him, and these ravingly cursed their fortunes, that thus had brought them to serve a Run-away. On the other side the grave privy Coun­cellors, Ruperts Antagonists, though they ranted not so high, yet shewed a great repining, that his sacred Majesty (a pure blas­phemy) should thus leave them in the sudds. Also amongst these there were divers other pitifull subdivisions: as amongst the Cottingtonians and Hoptonians: The Welch were derided as lowsy Rogues, the Irish Rebels hooted at for perpetuall Cowards; Ruperts for Robbers; all without pay; none with­out plunder; the Hoptonians, they were the white boyes.

But let us speak ad rem; The Sir Iohn Kempsfeild an eminent Commander of the Horse, who never charged without a Crucifix on his breast. Kempfieldians, a faction, of which we are able, and will now give account and relation; it being almost the subjectum of this discourse.

True, we made not Sir John our Oracle, or Dictator, yet we now think it convenient to let our Catholike Party march un­der his Which had for his Em­bleme, the Pope and a Cross, with words which a blind King might read with jealou­sie. Coroner: we are not unknowing of, nor unknown to greater Agents for his holiness, then was he, or any that now is in the City and Army; though I confess his merit is not small, [Page 4] and his respect greater in Rome, where I last left him in his Pil­grims weeds, ready to be dispatched away for an Irish im­ployment.

I should forget the Rule of private Polity, and (I fear me) offend the authority also of this already formidable and Re­nowned Nomen R [...]i­pub. sanctum habetur. Republike of Respub. po­tens armis at (que) ubere gleba. England, should I dare publikely to speak all I know of the persons of some men, and their now black and dangerous actings and imployments for the resto­ring of (not Charls, but)—to his ancient bloudy Tyranny: Suffice thee my Reader, thou shalt know all in time, it must first be my work at the Councell Table; where I shall (God willing) bring in a horrible large Catalogue of more perniti­ously damnably dangerous Actors, then was in the year 1605. in that infernall Powder plot: If ever there were such a fry of Devils in mens shapes, yea in ministers too, crept in to under­mine a People and State, judge you, by that time I shall have discharged the duty of a Sound Convert, and a Native English Gentleman, to those Patriots and worthies whom God by most miraculous providences hath owned to be our undoubt­edly lawfull Governours: But,

I shall do my uttermost.

Return we to see what the Catholike faction are a brewing: Each had their Conventicle; the Cavaleer Buzzard, I may say Bayard, had their fools In Oxford, a place so fit­ly called, for Newes-mee­ters. Corner, and we our The Ca­tholike sa­vern so gene­rally called. Knaves: Some of us resolve one thing, some another, all agree in this, we must desert the Royall Cause, and (as we could) get in with the Presbyter: One (of such a quality) cryes out, Ile compound and goe home, fight Dog, fight Bear; Another, I'le take the Covenant and turn Presbyter; But this last sort had carryed themselves meer Amphibiums in religion, and not openly known for reall Catholikes; but a part of us, of more hot spi­rits, not of the laity, but of some severall orders, did conclude it our best way, not only cleerly to relinquish our party, but to engratiate our selves with the Enemy▪ by acting some hand­some piece of treachery, that in time we might revive the old Catholike Cause, by more able and apt Instruments then by [Page 5] a company of staring hare-brain'd Cavaleers; who are not able to act so powerfully as those we desired to joyn Interest with, nor indeed (as Solomon speaks) when they had a price in their hands, were they able to get wisdome.

And for this Conjunction were there very plausible reasons laid down: Say some, Had the King prevailed against the People; the fawning Bishops, to uphold their usurped power, would have stampt any Religion upon their Proselyte King, that they again might have vanted in their Lawn sleeves and stoln Pedo Epis­copali grande inest mysteri­um. Miters; the number of us Catholikes being in Eng­land much inconsiderable to that of Hereticks, and the King not pertinacious, nor a jot solicitous of any Religion which di­minishes the least tittle of his monarchical prerogative: In this huddle of opinions, up starts a Dominican, Fa: Car by name, now in Calice; but then known by the degree of Quarter­master Lawrence, born at Hexam in Northumberland; (and seriously in my opinion he spake, (as we say) veteratorie, like an old Fox:) Truly (said he) I can with better conscience and more liberty fight for, and converse with the Scot, then the Infidel; the Presbyter then the Cavaleer: I have more hopes of him for a Convert which is of some religion, then of him which is of none; and so far (quoth he) may we call the King, but his Party especially, true Cavaleers: And, if we truly consider some points of the Religion, and (the rigid­ness I may not call it, but) the zeal of the Presbyter, with its Discipline and Polity; you shall find (as in severall points I could plainly hold it forth and demonstrate the parallel) that there is no Religion in the world does so neerly consent with the true Catholike faith, as does the Scotch Presbyterie; though I do not say it be super veritate fundatum, as ours is: Besides, said he, I might urge the great hopes and probability of a Presbyters conversion; for unde aliquis flatus ostenditur vela dat; he is subject to turn with every winde, no men in the world being of more unstable mindes, and Witness the com­mon-pr-Di­rectory. Co­venanting-royall-assem­bly-engage­ing Ministers of Eng­land. giddily wave­ring as are they: which, if Arguile in time does not, (as no doubt but he will) both the Leslies and the generality of the Brethren will make good;

As for their guidly Covenant, it's but a Volaticum Iusjuran­dum, seald with butter; which they will only make use of to pick a quarrell with England, when they have need of one, and are out of imployment, which the French will soon finde a way to put them upon, when the young Prince Charles. Run-away shall have once given an assurance of his real conversion to the Catholike faith; & then shall you see the Presbyter the only staffe we must lean upon: But for the Cavaleers (said he) they are Duri Capitones, a company of foolish obstinate Asses: our hardest taske will be to yoak these Disparibus bobus vix trahitur Ve­hiculum. two beasts to draw our Pough; they that re­fuse, you shall see them pessum premi, trodden under foot by Quod lupus est lupulum, nunquam pri­us est mihi visum. us and the * other.

These and many other arguments being laid down by this Father, it was instantly desired (by one known at that time generally, by no other name but Captain Saint Iohns, and yet well known somewhere now in this Country, of the order of Sunt qui Je­su nomen prae­texentes homi­num animas ipsi Satanae mancipant. Jesus, though he then walked the streets in a Chlamys) how we should speedily dispose of our selves.

The time and season required our consultations to be brief and pithy; and the result was, that some of the more aged, of unactive bodies for military exploits, but of busy spirits to set things in combustion, and to augment feuds, should be left behind, and the rest should inveigle as many as they possibly could of the Cavalry to fall off; which to effect, some of our younger Novices dispersed themselves to severall petite Garri­sons, which were not reduced to the States obedience, yea ve­rily to almost all the Royall unsurrendred Garrisons in Eng­land; for really we had enough in Oxford to furnish them, be­sides what before they were stored with; and there were few without Jesuits and preists. some, some with many, I dare affirm none without any.

Nor was it long 'ere the fruits of our Projects did appear, As in the great falling off of many, both Souldiers and men of eminency, which we could in any way make stoop to the lure of Presbyterie, and swallow the goodly godly Covenant: more particularly, that almost totall defection of the Walling­ford Horse, led off by one Beard and Pawlet, in which I my self had an hand:

But I shall deviate too much in instancing on the several suc­cesses of our plots, nor must I be too particular, lest the Pres­byterian chance to see day at a little hole, and espy me through a cranny: My resolution and aim is to let thee (Rea­der) now understand the Cause of our thus, and then seeming compliances with that predominant Faction.

First, for Sir Jo. Pr. which then indeed ruled the roast, we were better able in any notion to disguise our selves under their discipline then any other; for whosoever would (for­sooth) but down with the blessed Covenant, must be an honest man, let him be what he would; which we could very lawfully do, and did, being not unprovided of greater helps then Dispensations, seeing it was our onely way left to revive (as I have said) the Catholique quarrel upon better termes, by bet­ter and more violently rigid Instruments.

Secondly, we knew, (and I am certain it was at that time the Roman sence) that that Polypicaput, I mean that great jolly Turn coat, the little Queens husband, being run away from himself and her (according to our judgment of his easie nature) might (for ought we know) have been soon brought to have sung a Palinodie, have vailed or turned as now his son assayes and crouches (at least pretends) to do; and then we durst have warranted the case, that we would have reduced England into a more hideous pickle then all they had hitherto sustained in their quondam broyls; for had he turned Covenanteere, which our party did assay by all inventible means to bring him to; and which he would have done, had not the Monarchick-Lawn sleeves in­fused thoughts in him of a restauration to his Arbitrary power, that he must be aut Caesar, aut Nullus, as of himself he was resolved to be Rex aut Asinus; or had that Spanish (I think I might say, L. Say. Sayish) Treatie in the Ile of Wight but taken effect; two months had never expired, before most of our chief ene­mies (this Commonwealths now Governors best Patriots and Defendors) had all lain weltering in their own bloud: And then (as now it is) Presbyter, Cavaleer, yea, and Catholike too, having joyned interests, what must our next work have been? or what dost thou think it now will be when it is so?

Reader, Thy Genius (if thou art not made of wood) must necessarily prompt thee to the conceit of no less then a Massa­cre, and universal ruine of all the Antagonists and Opposers of those Hot-spurs; those three brethren in iniquity, who though they are so diametrically opposite to each other in principles and opinion, will out of pure malice (caused by their several bloody, ambitious aspirings) joyn tails together to set on fire the fabrick of a most polite Government, and devast the peo­ple whom God will not suffer them to tyranize over.

Well, Imagine this had been done, conceit this now a doing, now done: Suppose we then London plundred (for what wild man thinks, or expects less from three such mad enemies) the People and Country laid waste, desolate, and invassalled, all their enemies throats cut, our then no little Queen with her French, and Jermain lusty train returned (which was granted us by Treaty) all done, all undone, and none left in the Scene but these three; who goes to the pot next? No question, the Royalists and Catholiks will be so conscientious, as strictly to observe and keep each Punctilio of the pretty Scotch Co­venant; no doubt but the Catholiques, and the Presbyters will thank the Cavaleer for his good service, and restore his King with his Common Prayer and Bishops, though he will be neither Papist nor Covenanter; if not thus, then without dis­pute, Presbyter and Cavalier must both turn Catholiques; and like enough so; I pray thee Reader, do then but consider how soon we could, or can (when time serves) set the Cavaleer and Presbyter together by the ears. We are not ignorant of the old Adage, Publicae res privatis crescunt inimicitiis; which thus we will then construe, When theeves fall out, we true men come by our goods; What block-headed Presbyter or Scot (which is all one) knows not the Royalists to be irrecon­cileable with them; whatsoever fair words, some old Court-Spaniel, or young declared King may give them, in hope of future opportunity for revenge, or a Crown; Priùs lupus ovem ducat uxorem Cats and Dogs will sooner be cater-cosins then they; Lites praeterritae facilè fiunt renovatae; if not, we will put in two hundred thousand pound to the bargain;

Well, now they be at it, now they fight; or grant that they had done so; or that hereafter we see them too't amonst them­selves; which side do you think (in plain earnest) shall we Catholiques take? it is an even wager; truly neither, and yet both, if any; the weakest, till they have confounded each o­ther. I could give a shrewd hint of Orders we received in the Colchestrian and Kentish. Cambo-Brittanian Expeditions; in a word, our design is to put them to that hard task, Penelopis telam texere, to do, and undo, till they have left nothing undone for us; But of this more in its place.

I could here make an happy digression, yet pertinent e­nough, and a large one if I would (but I will not) onely to shew the people (if they would but understand and hear rea­son) the powerful hand of All-ruling Providence, perspicuously demonstrating it self in their redemption & deliverance, out of the jaws, and from the Snares and Gins laid for them by these three Enemies; God himself owning This Cause by no less then miraculous successes and unparallel'd vicissitudes and al­terations, and which he hath given in Commission unto our most puissant and renouned Governors as his instruments of a most splendid Reformation, and our happily atchieved Liberty, which though it hath cost so much, and the compleating there­of must necessarily require something more; let us remember, that libertas potior est Metallis, and that we were all once but meer slaves, bound in our own golden chains, under an Arbi­trary-ruling one man, a self willed and wildly-Tyrannizing Monarch;

That I may recover this large deviation,

I must now return back to Oxford, where (as I told thee) I for my part was imployed; and now behold it is surrendred, and I with my Comrades left to dispose of our selves, where we had best hopes to create new distempers: Now the Oxford Articles were our onely Guardians, and (like our black Master) our time being short we resolve to ply our business; and truly we have not been idle, what with tawing and claw­ing [Page 10] the the Cavalier and Presbyter, as you will perceive ere we conclude this Relation.

And (Reader, I ask you) in what mode do you think now to meete with men of my Orders? We have not onely changed the habits of our mindes but of our bodies also:—Our minds; for he that even now was upsie Cavaleer, high Royalists; he that was nothing but to make the King a Pope, that so the Pope might be made King, dances now after no Musick so merrily as the Northern Bagpipe; the prophane Dammees left off, and nothing but the Holy Keevenaunt is heard in our mouthes.—For our bodies, Proteus is less then a Fiction to us; He that erewhile was a Commander in a ranting equipage, is now slinked into a Cobling Stall, or Weavers Loome, or Tapsters Apron, or Coach-mans Box, or Beggars Weeds, or Horsemans Frock, or Serving-mans Livery, or Taylors Shop, or a Pulpit-thumping Presbyters Iippo; into what not? It is not unknown what trade we drive beyond sea, when no trade comes amiss to us; I vow to God, I my self have known one single Student in Rome to be his crafts-master in four several Mysteries, and, though an Italian born, Speaking and Writing as fluent & candid English, as the best English Orator; but Hoc dubit at fortasse aliquis, nisi pagina praesens idfirmâ ratione pro­bet; To make this good, our Governors, the States of this Com­monwealth (if they wil deign to hear me now their true servant; for they may not in this case, in utramvis aurem dormire) shall eftsoon be able to cull out many a Sheep cloathed Woof from their Stations, Stalls, Loomes, Aprons, Weedes, Livories, Shops, yea, and Buff coats; what say you to Pulpits too? Let not poor England (now like a Bird (Ah me) pursued by seve­ral fierce-flying Falcons, and too too neer the intended hard gripes of their cruelly-sharp tallons) either out of a dull and drowzie sottishness, or a phantastical humour of contradicti­on, suppose that I speak what I know not; if I should tell them I can, and (now being about to do it) will (but private­ly before Authority) produce a Catalogue of Catholiques, (Fathers, so we will be called) men of several Orders, and o­thers that are Natives, who for the most part have changed their Habitations, gone into remote Counties, and duly go to [Page 11] Church too; of an incredible number now living in this Commonwealth under severall Notions, which I my self can Digito monstrare, poynt at with a dry finger: I tell thee in ge­nerall, There is scarce a Town or City but in some few miles of it I can furnish thee Reader (to thy amazement be it spoken, and to occasion thee to return devout thanks to God) with some, who have lived in England these 6. 10, 20. Jo. B. of Ne. in Es. 40. 50. 5. 4. 3. one and two years unknown, unsuspected, but taken for clear contrary men: let them avoid me if they can, their er­rand by this time is done.

Reader, think me not mad: indeed I have been, but am now come again to my self: But to what (wot ye) was my minde bent in these Hurly-burlies? to play the Presbyter: and whi­ther went I (trow ye) after Oxfords rendition? even to my guid Scots Brethren the Covenanters, but yet not presently into Scotland: my colleagues and I, which were three (and in­deed made three degrees of Malus, pe­jor, pessimus. comparison, one a Bre, of Oxf. Sh. Priest, my self a Novice, the third (a Catesh— prodigious name) as eminent a Jesuite as England hath fathered these many years) had deter­mined if at that time there had been Halcionian quiet times at Sea (as there were not for us guilty soules) to have passed directly over; but, diverted twixt fear of detection and zeal of working more good (upon the Presbyter) for the Catholike cause, we wheel'd about and got us to Newcastle; where we found the Gentleman that ran away from Oxford playing at Goffe. Stowball with his Sodalitia, his guid chapmen; who (as emptitious as he was) though they valued him not, because sese inscendi passus est, he suffered himself to be fool ridden, yet knew well enough how to overvalue him.

Here in this Gally-maufrey of people and opinions (Cavies and Presbyters) we could not in a weeks time devise in what shape to walke in: True, we had resolved to be All-Presbyter; but the state of present affaires so ordered it, that we must as yet be nothing but Cavaleers; for fear they (of whom there was no small concourse) as some of them could, might detect us what we were, maugre our shifting and sniffling pretensions to the contrary; And so once again we did Dextrae conjungere Dextram fall in with the Cavaleer: For so great a resort was [Page 12] there of shabby raggamuffian Gentlemen, and some, of our old Oxford acquaintance, that we could not in civility ( [...]ne eke in policy) shake them off: and so expert are we in those fraudes Daemoniacae, that (where occasion presented it self) we became any thing to any man, (like the blacke Prince of the ayre in his witchery Apparitions, or his white Emblem the Miller, who when this winde will not serve him, can turn Sayls and serve that) and closed in our complyance with all, that we might but tempt some; which indeed was easily then to be done with the poor Cavies, who were Cerâ tractabiliores plyable to any advice that favoured of the least revenge; but truly are Asini Homines meer Asses: Here did we Cretizare cum Cretense hold a candle to the Divel, prompt them to what we thought would best serve our owne turnes, 'till at last we had fitted them to be made fooles by the Scots; (which at any time they can easily do, if they will but open and declare:) Thus we laught in our sleeves (yet still pretended to be equall sufferers with them in the Cause Royall) which they might easily have perceived, had not their braines been dulled by the Devil (that egregius delusionum artifex) and totally intoxi­cated with the spirits of Mandragora:

Nor had we staid long here, 'ere great numbers of the Royall Party came flocking to the Scotch Army, in hopes of more worke for the Chirurgian: which truly had then been done, as well as since, and now again (if they dare) Ab Aquilo­ne ante No­tus, quam vulpes venari gallinas su­persedeat: the South wind will blow from the North before these Beggars will leave troub­ling us. like to be, (for jam tertia vertitur aestas) had they not feared their wea­ther-cocke King might (in a new-periwig plot) have put upon them the old Oxford trick; or had not that currant sum of Bona & legalis moneta Angliae been too praevalent an argu­ment with them to abandon and desert him, whom they valued not really at the estimation of 200000. Scotch bawdles; To be sure, our endeavours were not wanting to exasperate all Partyes by all the stratagems our wits could devise; seriously, our fomenting had even then made the Tynder take fire, though we could not do it till here of late; Now tis done; judge you how near it was then brought to an head, (but what will not money do with a Scot, (now their Catasta is in readi­ness;) what will not a Scot do for money? An ingenious [Page 13] Monsieur (at this instant, I beleeve, in Scotland) at a frollick meeting, in France, of some freinds, amongst whom I jovially passed for currant, said thus, (cunningly;) I'le undertake for halfe a Kings price their whole Nation will D—themselves, and the strictest Formalists among the guide Breethren account it no sinfull Engagement to eat nothing but ungodly Pearke for an whole year; The plot (I say) by our nimble-under­hand invisible fomentings then grew near to an head; Near indeed; Not only excepted Delinquents unpardonable Cava­leers, but Catholikes, yea known Priests and Jesuites, we also by a generall order were publikely quartered in the most afflu­ent and secure Townes and Villages: You will think it strange to hear me say there was at that time (and how much more now they have, like Sampsons foxes, joyned tayles) to the number of two Regiments of Catholikes; nay (to my certain knowledge) there was one meer-all-wholly-a Catholike Re­giment new raised (before the money came down from Lon­don) and reduced, under the conduct of my Lord Synclare a Presbyterian-Papist; and this also I protest to God I can af­firme for reall truth, there was not only then to be a conjuncti­on with Montross, but Irish Rebels to be transported, and a war with England then resolved upon; (see what money can do) had not these policies over ballanc't their resolutions;

First, That the world would have cryed shame upon them, that they should so soon have broken their own Covenant with the English: which they resolved to referre to a longer time, hoping to insinuate to the world, that the English first began with them, whensoever they shall have a minde to invade, ordisturbe our tranquillity;

Secondly, That they should more then hazzard the losse of the great sum, if they did too soon shew their teeth; and not being able to pretend the least reason that would hold water, why they should pick a quarrell with their even now Confede­rates: And as cunningly also did they repell the incessant im­portunities of their prisoner-King; telling him, their surren­dry of him would prove for the best, and that it should be to no other intent but to furnish them with more plausible pre­tences for a war and breath with the English States: For [Page 14] indeed they well considered, that the Parliament of England could do no less in justice upon that Capitall Delinquent, then what might bear them out in the opinion of seduced English­men, as a sufficient excuse for their many peremptory, bawling, mischeivous papers and messages, which (since that) they have interruptingly dared to trouble our State with, besides that their other years Run-away [...]; and yet still are they so impiously politick (or rather blockishly impu­dent) as to make this their pretence, that what they do, is for their guid King (& his son) whom, rather then they would have been at the charge to have kept him till this time, I dare say they would have poysoned (in which that travelling Nation is very Witnesse their coun­trimen Dr. Crichton his Sermon, be­fore yong Stuart at the Hauge. expert) or have put to a more exemplary death then that Ad generum Cerer is sine caede & san­guine pauci Descendunt Reges & sic­cd morte Ty­ranni: Iuve­nal. Few Tyrants in their beds do dye, But head­long they to Hell do hye. condigne and yet honourableone, which he here received by the Plebiscitum:

But all this while the poor Cavaleer is hood winkt, and held in strong suspence; neither can they imagine whether these Scotisticall Pioneers will be Scots or no Scots, (but Scots will be Scots:) And they allowed them too bread and cheese pay, from the English; which indeed was no small boon, con­sidering the small Nook so vast an Army (which had been at Hereford) were glad to be thronged into: poor Animals, these credulous Cattell, or blind Bears, as they were then, so are they still led on by the nose (in hopes) by their worst first Enemies; what else makes them Ampullas & sesquepedalia ver­ba—bolt out such high bug-bear Raunts? what else makes them triumphingly so heave up their heavy heads, and be so sil­ly as to bragg (meerly on the dependance o'these crafty Cat­tamountaines) that,

That speedily a day will come which will pay for all: Roy­alist, let me tell thee in love, Sapientia prima est, stultitiâ caru­isse, Do not be so unwise as to be so foolish as to beleeve a Scot: But I do saxum Sysiphon urgere, beat the ayre to Vecordes verbis non subiguntur. no purpose: Ye Ardelio's think ye out-wit all the world besides, when (faciunt nae intelligendo ut nihil intelligant) these [...] (in plain English) would seem to know all things, and yet [Page 15] they knew nothing, but are a company of dull easily beguiled Asses.

Yet wellfare my Lord Synclare (if there be any Scot worth the whistling after, I am confident it is he) I cannot be oblivi­ous of his affable deportment, and tender sympathy he had of the conditions of some of the pittiful Renegado gentlemen. I dare aver, I can reckon up betwixt fourty and fifty hereto­fore high-flying Dammee-Raunters, now in a lowzie starving condition which he releived, and were admitted sometimes to be drunk with his gor-bellied brother Harry, that old Court-Curr, Harbert Price, That Welsh-French Gallow­poasted fellow Turburvil Morgan, That easie Catho­lique, Durham gent. Colonel Jack Forcer, with many o­thers, which I could name, of greater quality, who did eat of his free-quarter bread, or had perished: But O the mi­series of some Gentlemen of lower quality then these! Synclare sometimes for the great ones would go a begging to the great begger for a sute; but for these poor souls not a doit but Scotch fragments: If ever any of those Gentlemen, which were then a­mongst them, confide in a Scot again, I shall swear they are Cur-Spaniels, and horribly bewitched: Amongst these latter lower sort did we three get in for quarters; pretending as much indigency as the meanest of them, and searching out who were Catholiques amongst them, that so we might List them under a certain Collection; which very secretly and closely we had got raised of the Northumberland Ca­tholique Gentlemen: Nor did we easily give credence to any that urged himself a Catholique; for indeed that would have made our number swell too great (the Cavies being at that time ready to turn any thing, except Round­head, for some money to be chirpingly drunk, and sing away sorrow;) but many reall ones indeed were found, a great company of them being crowded into a very good quarter, at Mistress Thyrwalls house, a Catholique widdow, in a mile of Hexam in Northumberland; amongst whom was Sir Thomas Tildesly with a tottered tail as well as the rest, who sent for Mr. Bre—to speak with him, whither we being come, with him found a company of lamentable Tag-rags (outvying our [Page 16] disguise) going under the names of Colonels, Majors, and Captains; some playing at Irish, some at Gleek, all at Noddy, except Sir Thomas, who with a poor Scholar was playing at Chess; Mr Bre—asking his business with him; He told us, that he had been informed of our Negotiation, and desired us to enter his List in ours; amongst whom we found some doubtful and unknown names; which, we told him were not safe to be admitted for fear of discovery; He assured us, they were all very faithful Royalists (which did not please us) and wanting very much, even ready to perish with hunger and nakedness; amongst which that Scholar, for whom Sir Thomas seemed to be very highly solicitous: No sooner almost was he with some of the rest admitted, and had once or twice received collecti­ons, but some of them cried Roast-meat to their unadmitted Comrades, which truly fell out very inauspiciously for the Ca­tholiques, worse for the Cavies; the collection stopt, and we resolved for a dispersing march: For, neer about this time was the bargain made, and hands struck betwixt the English and the Scots, for that Old-New-Nothing; and with him all the English both Catholique and Cavies to be surrendered priso­ners upon the summ (as justly we might) for Incendiaries. This news being soon sent us (and in troth not too early, for it was in the nick-time) from Newcastle by some of our Agents there, we well hoped to have had some laughing sport; for after our flight (which was into Scotland) had they stayed a little-little longer, the poor Cabbs had been all surprised, if not surren­dred to our Parliament Army then upon a close march; but in Edenbourgh, we had not been an whole week, before the ragged Regiment came tottering in there, many thousand millions strong, thicker then when they first shifted into the cleanly Scottish Army, out of Gods blessing, yet not into the warm Sun, but a stinking cold climate

And what can you devize these poor gentlemen can do here for subsistence? truly it was miraculous to see the miseries they endured at the hands, and in the sight of those unpittying hard-hearted Cannibals the Scots: nay, they did not onely commiserate but basely Desolatos deridere de­mentia est. deride and Nil ha­bet infoelix paupertas durius in se, Quàm quòd ridiculos ho­mines facit. jear at their calamities, saying, there gangs a brave English Cavaleer, whylk fought and [Page 17] run away for his King, &c. Now I believe thou supposest the Catholique also to be hard put to it here, or that (at least) he was forced to live on the main stock; no (really,) we found friends enough here, even of our own Order. I can assure thee (Reader) a Catholique delights in no air (besides his own) so well as in a Presbyterian. Moreover, we here met with Monsieur Montril the French Agent, who was then consult­ing with the Scotch States, about the last Hambletonian engage­ment, though since they account it sinful for being basted; with him we immediately fell into some consultation and action, as you shall hear anon.

But O the poor Cab, his guts pay for it; there was not one of them but hunger had taught some occupation or other to get money, and it were but enough to buy Scotch bread: some Captains got their meat by dressing Troupers horses, not one Scot breathing would bestow a Bawdle on an Englishman without some service done for it; they would rather call them Lownes, and bid them get out of the Countrey. The Scholar (I spake of) he drives a trade with the Colledge, when instead of some subtil questions, the Master put him (as he told me) to expound a Chapter in the Bible, which he did till he had pounded out four or five A poor summ in Scotch mo­ney. pund of them, and more had he had of them, but that they demanding his name, and he telling them, they said it was a Popish name, (as I remember it was Pawlet, or some such name) the Scholar wittily replied, we have many good Protestants of that name in Herefordshire: after this great purchase he and one Major Thomas Right set up a trade of making sweet powder for hair with Rice, a trick of the Scholars, by which they lived well, and cozened the Scots very handsomly.

But no going back was there for them, whither they could fly God knows, themselves know not. Reader, thou must not conceive, that of all these Gentlemen there were none which were thus distressed, but meerly for their foolishly and falsely conceited loialty, though the most part were so indeed; cer­tainly there were many, Homines gregorii amongst them, raskally fellows, some Theeves, some Bankrupts, some abject Sons, some Prodigals; as the Scholar would often make me [Page 18] take pitty on him, when he would use to tell me, Miserabilis fuit homun­cio: He was a castaway. that an un­natural Father, and hard Mother in Law was his Parliament; many (like him) had several occasions that reduced them to these dilemma's of misery.

And now was there a convention of the Scots States in Parli­ament, which puts the Cabs (as poor as they were) into a shrewd fright, and themselves into a puzzle, which way they should dispose of them; for had they rudely betraied them in­to the hands of the English Army, which demanded them in the bargain upon the summ, they had too soon displayed to the world their perfidious dealing with the Cabs Idoll; but, which is the main thing they had then falsified with the French to whom they had ingaged to sell these cattle for so much the head, to serve in their wars against the Spaniard till such time as they had both ripened their quarrel against the English, and then shall the poor Cabs be brought back again, to usher on, and set a face upon the Popish French, and Presbyterian Scotish Design, which what it is, you will here towards the end.

The general bruit now blown over all Edenburgh was, that the great blades were to be culled out and sent to London; but for the rest, if they would take conditions, they should be con­veyed from the hands of their enemies, and be accommodated to serve some forraign Prince (the last is true enough, but the other as false as a Scot) their stinking States onely made an Or­der to this purpose, that thereby they might give an Item to excepted persons to secure themselves; and (as they must con­fess) to my knowledge they had private orders given them, to clap themselves into a disguize, and not to walk so publike­ly in the streets; and thus they shew themselves Scots still with the English States, for by thus doing they conceived they should be able to evade, if not flatly deny any just demands agreed upon in the former paction between England and them.

These raskally doings being thus carried on for some weeks in Hugger mugger, and the Cavaleers having some slender allowance, they knew not from whom; at last they all began to insinuate to them, that the Scots had picked a just quarrel with the Roundheads, and that they should in a short time invade, [Page 19] upon pretence of redeeming the even now sold Bondslave from his captivity, and bring him (like a painted Pageant) in pomp up to London: But this poor pretence, though politike enough to catch the credulity of the throughout gulld Cava­leer, because opinionating ends ever by words; yet we (who e­ver judged of mens words by their ends) knew the inside of the piece to be clean contrary; for, the Scots (though they had an egging minde to have more plunder) were advisedly too cow­ardly to be thus valiantly foolish, knowing the strength and re­solution of that gallant dreadfull Army of England, whom they durst as well eat Peark as look upon; though they now make some flourishes, of purpose to get some gelt for the Son as well as the Father; and then you should see them fling him off, and creep to an Englishmans elbowe for another confederacy.

In the mean time while things fell out very happily for our Party, the Cabs knew nothing but what we thought fit to tell them; and they very quietly acquiesced in our Oracles: For now was I (with my two forementioned Comerades) imployed afresh by Monsieur Montril, about such a like bu­siness as we had in Northumberland; which was to muster all the Gentlemen we could ferret out, and to take a strict and particular list of all that were Catholikes; which we in time effected, and delivered it to the Monsieur, who commanded us to attend him the next day at Hally-Rood house, where D. Hambleton played Rex, and kept court as Lord Protector and Steward in the Dotage of his Cozin: whither when we came, and were called for to the Presence, The We all conferred in the french tongue. Duke (a right­wary, pure Saint of Scotland, as being pretty competently po­litique, abundantly zealous, and very indifferently religious) first demanded of the Agent, whether we were such as he might dare to confide and imploy in his Masters business, we being Englishmen, and for ought I know (quoth he) Cavaleers: they are such (replyed the Monsieur) who do omnes unum studere, and whose Characters I have received from no slender Testimony; besides, this gentleman (pointing to Mr. Catesb—) being my old acquaintance, and a reall servant to the Flur de luis; whom (being English; and, as they are) I dare sooner trust then any men alive, none being able to do [Page 20] our business with that influence and facility they may, with their old dear acquainted Oxonions: Gentlemen, (quoth the Duke then to us) were it not prejudiciall to your selves, as you have no reason to think, I could wish that I knew how to e­quall my respects to your severall qualities: But be confident, I am overjoyed in this blessed opportunity of serving his Most Christian Majesty: Here are up and down this City a crew of odd fellows, old beaten Souldiers of the King of Englands party, who can now serve for nothing better then to fill ditches, thereby to salve their lost honours, when they shall shed their bloud in the service of a more puissant Prince, to whose gracious Majesty I shall ever devote my best per­formance: Let it be your part (therefore) as much as in you lies, to prepare them for this Expedition, which you will the easlyer effect, by taking these few verball Instructions with you: [much to this purpose] First let them understand by you from mee, the great compassion I take on their severall distres­ses and sad conditions, and how studious I am to better it, and to render them capeable of doing his A double-tongued Scot. Majesty of England more good service, and that to this end I am very willing to engage my self unto hs Majesty of France's Agent (here) for some competent sum of money for their subsistance and future pay, which who so lists may receive; and that I will freely (but privately) procure of the States of this Kingdome Passes for their going beyond Sea, and will also provide vessels, and be my self at the charge of their Transportation: all which I shall do as a demonstration and pledge of that service I owe to my yong Mr. the Prince of England; whom (be sure to tell them what I say) by their and others recourse to him, with some foraign Princes assistances, I hope (and little doubt) speedily to see in an invasive capacity to revenge his Si non ante diem Parcae sua fila secan­tur. Fathers indignities, and powre out flouds of the blood of those rebelli­ous Roundheads: You shall also (said he) take money with you to give advance to all those who shall enroll themselves as souldiers for the French expedition, (for under that Notion you must tell them it must be carried on) that so the States of this Kingdome may not be unfurnisht of a pretence and excuse against the urgings of those of England, when they shall see us [Page 21] play foul play under-board: But above all, I beseech you, that you make a diligent enquiry into the temper and imployment of some of those Anglers; I am told there are some amongst them of most accomplisht parts; and my Agents in London have given me warning, that there are certainly some of them imployed by the English Parliament as Spies and Intelligen­cers concerning the transactions and consultations of me and this State; Let such be nippily markt and taken notice of; and where you shall find deserts in any other of them, as conducible to our purpose, proceed to collate large and particular encourage­ments: Gentlemen (quoth he) you may not; and I know you are not ignorant of the end of our design; in which, while we seem to help these base scoundrels, our ambition is to serve his King of France. most Christian Majesty, according to our long-continued and lately renewed obligation, against either Spanish or Eng­lish adversary; at the present to fight the one, and ere long to invade the other; the latter of which his Majesty may hereafter easily atchieve, having so many plausible pretensions on his side; as not only the restauration of his nearest Ally, but (which is the main string of his bow) his entring with so many native Englishmen, which will stop the people from banding against his forces when they enter, and occasion many thousands to joyn with them against their own Natives and Countrymen; which when God shall please to bring to pass, I shall then be openly able to declare to the world, how much I am in Alle­giance his subject, and in conscience your servant.

Thus after our most humble regratulations to his Grace for these pictae tectoria linguae, and indeed his affable and noble de­portment to us, with his tender respect of our religious quali­ties (for the Agent had whisperingly told him what Mr. Cat­was) we were now departing the presence, when presently we were remaunded by the Monsieur, who told us, that he had a very great desire to see as many of the gentlemen as could be got together at a Rendezvous, if the Duke held it safe; to which Mr. Br answered it were more convenient to defer that for one week longer, till more of them had listed themselves, and by their Advance recruited their tottered condition, and amended their equipage; to which the Monsieur answered, [Page 22] Gods death, let it be even so, or else they'le take me for a very merry gentleman; meaning belike, He should be unable to hold his countenance, and restrain laughter.

And now the poor Cabs do captare Ranam shoot at a crow and kill an owle; they have brought their hogs to a fair mar­ket, (like the Devil when he threw them into the Sea,) of a foul event, they have a fair labour, they must not only be con­tent to be beaten out of the Kingdom, but be Ni resipis­cant fustibus & flagris nae ipsi vapula­bunt. beaten in again, to usher in and make room for those, who when they have served their turn of them, will use them and their King both alike; nay they shall be forced to fight against themselves; Sic vos non vobis, &c. so that the more victories they win, the more miserable they make themselves, and un-king their Prince: This plot was never so strong against them, as tis at this moment, as in time I shall declare: But they will not be induced to beleeve the French to be other then reall Assisters, and that they do not catch at their crown; and, I must confess, their reason seems to be somewhat solid in this particular; Be­cause (say they) we know our King to be reconciled to the Roman-Catholike Church, and hereby he hath ingratiated himself with, and engaged all the Catholike Princes of Europe for his assistance: Ah Freind, I know the pulse of the French not to beat so violently for Religion, when a crown lies at stake; they hope (Ile warrant thee) to see a Lewis crowned in Londre, as there was a Henry in Paris: But they say, His Holiness hath obliged all Catholike Princes to be aiding, and amongst them the French; who, if ever he wins England, (tis more then probable) maugre the Pope, will count himself fitter to be Defender of the Faith, then he that just now was con­verted to it to regain a crown: And this is but meerly bru­torum ratio, all the reason they have.

Well, but let us look back and see what we Presbyterian-Ca­valeers are doing at Edenburgh amongst the Cavaleer-Presby­terians; Our time is wholly spent in listing who list to taste of the Esca of our hooks; and no little trouble was it for us to ferret them out of the severall holes they had buried themselves in; Our first two daies work was, to pretend the disclosing of a great secret to all we met, that they should give notice to all [Page 23] the right Cavaleers they knew, to meet at a Green a quarter of a mile beyond the Kings Hally-Rood-House, neer a little Alehouse there, called the Worlds end, where Duke Hambleton had by us intended (out of his pure pitty) a distribution of money to all distressed English Officers, and Gentlemen soul­diers of the Kings party, according to their several qualities, and that there would be made some propositions for the seting a foot again of our old quarrel with the English Rebels: O how greedily was this Gudgeon swallowed! Those that had but twelve One penny. black dogs, drunk a health that night in Scotch Ale to the brave Duke; and thus we made every one prove a Decoy to his Comrade; and our appointed time being come, our work we found done to our hands, and some Punds drunk upon score in the Dukes health before ere we came at them, where we found the silly souls extreamly frolick and blythe, Hic saltat laetus, hic est sermone facetus, every man fancying va­nities to himself (and building castles in the Air, as yet still they do upon a Scotch foundation) according to the defect of his judgement and discretion;

And so they are resolved to be once more Imbelli ad­miniculo ne sustenteris. deceived by them before they will learn better forecast.

Nor when we came did we piddle with them a whit, but forthwith accosted them with the most prestigious sugar can­did words we could invent, not forgetting one tittle of our In­structions, which we confirmed for truths, by a certain token the Duke had sent by us, which was twenty shillings sterlin to drink his dear Master the Kings Health, and a confusion and damnation to the Parliament, besides, half so much for the King of France his Health; desiring them to accept of these poor favours he had sent them, as a token of what more he in­tended to do, as a sympathy of their loyall sufferings, but espe­cially as a demonstration of his fidelity (though formerly mistrusted) to his Master: Thus having told our tales, and recruted every man with a considerable summ in his pocket, (besides their heads full of Nobilis Alla) we desired them all quietly to disperse themselves, and in the mean while to put themselves into as hansom an equipage as they could, till our [Page 24] meeting again (that day sevenight) in the same place, when if we did not presently fall upon action; we told them, we were commanded to assure them upon the Dukes honor, they were safe, and that there should be a very competent and large allowance offorded the very meanest of them all; and so they straglingly parted like fools as they came;

I cannot call it good nature in them, but a shallowness of ex­perience, contracted through customary overmuch talk, more boasting, through too little observation, and no pondering; for certainly no cattle in world are more easily beguiled then the Cavaleers generally by an over-weening credulity; the true occasionall use of a wise distrust and slow Belief, either not reaching, or else misplacing, seldom deliberating, till surround­ed with fears, who are ill Counsellors, and never determining but upon hopes and wishes, who are false Astrologers: The dull Phrygian could Serò sapere, the Cavaleer will nunquam; He is alwayes extravagantly talking of many generations past; never once roundly considering, how that Then was Then, and Now is Now. But, to our Relation:

We staid not this night, till we had informed the Agent how far and fair a progress we had made in the business, who seemed very pleasant at the relation of the several pretty pas­sages at our Tap-lash Rendezvous, some Devotions being that night performed at his lodgings (at which the Duke was pre­sent, and many other Scotch Gentry, though some people will hardly think it) we had the honor to be commanded to take our repast there that night, and waiting his Honors leasure, and further pleasure with us, he told us, there was no more to be said, till the Duke had compleated many things with the States, which to him he had, ingaged for: I will onely add this (said he) for our comfort. I doubt not (by the fair progress we have already transacted with these The Scots. people) but to see our three Cabs, Pres­byters, Inde­pendants. enemies beaten by themselves, and a way made for the banner of Christ, and the Standard of my Master, to be in time set up in that base adjacent Heretical plot of earth: Master Ca—told him, though our hopes were once great by our influence on the King and his party, yet it would be greater then ever, if [Page 25] we could once see a conjunction betwixt the Royalist & Presby­ter, and both willing to accept of aide, from his most Christian Majesty: you shall see strange things done (quoth the Agent) if ever we can but bring them to shake hands, though with the teeth outward; which in some time (though perchance also with some little difficulty) we shall bring about: The Royallist is sufficiently madded already; for they say, they will take the Turks, yea, the Devils side to conquer England, and in time you shall see, we shall work on the dissatisfactions of the Pres­byter, that we shall bring them to joyn with us and their ene­mies, to overthrow their brethren and friends.

And now (Reader) I can busie thy fancy with little of this weeks work, onely the great mirth of the Jovialists, they are no small boys now, and (Ile warrant you) drink no small Bear: New faces still appear to be listed, an't were for the Turk, all is one; thirty English shillings advance was then a consi­derable summ; In three or four dayes the Agent sent a Gentle­man to command our attendance at the Dukes Court, when he (we no sooner being come) asked us, whether our number did increase, or decrease? We assured him, that we had listed thirty six more then we had advance money for, which was presently delivered us; But said he to the Duke, how shall we provide now to keep them together from running away? By doing as you do now, (quoth the Duke) meaning by letting them have money enough belike; but it was presently resol­ved upon, that a party of Horse should scour the Country England ward; and it was given out, that it was onely to sur­prize and take up wandring English Malignants and Delin­quents, and to send them to the Parliament of England; But the next thing put to the Question by my self, was, who were fit­test to be chosen for the Officers of these listed men? Well said, (quoth the Agent) a thing indeed most necessary next to be consulted on; for either we must pitch upon some of our own friends, or at least their enemies; my meaning is, Catholique or Presbyter, the last being as serviceable to promote our en­terprizes as the first: Here is a noble Gentleman (quoth Ma­ster Cat—) one Collonel Forcer, who is not onely discreet, but really their enemy (and your servant) yet very popular a­mongst [Page 29] them (for the fools have a vein still to love us, how plain soever our practises appear against them,) he is one that by a certain interest (besides Religion) would be glad by any means to advantage and set forward the French Design; being also not ignorant of the greatest state of affairs, and doth very well know how great hopes we have for the advancement of the Catholique Cause, by bringing the Cavaleer under the Lee of the Presbyter; Introth you have onely anticipated me (quoth the Monsieur) tell him I kiss his hand, and desire a word with him, for had you not mentioned him, I must have had some conference with him about some higher concern­ment.

And thus again we parted with Orders to return with most convenient speed, which the next day we did, the Colonel in our Company; and after some private conference betwixt Monsieur Montril and himself, we were soon dispatched, and gave out among the Totterdemallions, that all things were now concluded, but that a Colonel General was wanting, which we doubted would be a Scot, if we did not solicite the Agent, that we might select Officers among our selves; and amongst us none so fit and faithful a Conducter as would noble Colonel Forcer be, which they every one presently re­lished.

Well, now approaches the second and last day of our liquo­rish Worlds-End Rendezvouz; where (after high Bravadoes, how we would plunder London, and torture the Roundheads at our return into England, making no distinction between In­dependent or Presbyter, when we had subdued them both) it was at last generally given to understand, Thar the farthest way about was our nearest way home, and that we must first visit France, where we should lye at Rack and Manger (Free quarter) in Garrison against the Spaniard, till such time as a League and Amnestie could be procured betwixt the French and them, and untill the difference betwixt the Independent and Presbyter did flame to the very height; which we assured them would erelong so come to pass, and that it would prove a very feasible business by flattering the one, to destroy both.

But behold, the grand Pa—the Monsieur approaches, where (by reason of different languages) at the first accost there was nothing but dumb shews, and Serviteur tres humbles; but there came a Scotch Interpreter with him, who was commanded to express the Agent in this wise: Gallant Sirs, his Honor (here) hath commanded me to let you know, that though he be in­deed a French man, yet he was ever naturally devoted to the service of great Brittains Monarch, and that by the solicitation of the most renownedly vertuous Henrietta Maria, their Queen his Mistress, he was now imployed by his Majesty of France to agitate concerning the English affairs, and in special particular for the restauration of his most distressed Majesty of England; and understanding, that so considerable a number of his party (most gallant Genlemen and Commanders) had by the cruelty of the enemy been beaten into this Kingdom for refuge and safegard, things indeed fell out more successfully for his business then he could have wished for, or expected; be­cause now he was not onely in a capacity to serve their Prince, but the Gentlemen in their miserable exigencies; and to put them into that way which must of necessity be followed for the reducing of the English Rebels: He hopes he hath no cause to doubt of the aversness of any in the promotion of this busi­ness; if there be any such (for perchance you may not be alike zealous in a good cause) it is desired, that they would please to urge their reasons, to shew, why it may not be accounted more safe to go into France to your Prince, then to return back into the jaws of your merciless enemies: Your accomo­dation there shall befit Gentlemen of your quality, and in prcoess of time you shall finde your work done to your hands, by some unknown servants of yours, who are now stirring up of fewdes, and flinging Marrow-bones betwixt those two Curs, the Presbyterian and Independent; yea, some there are, that are invisibly acting in their very Councels and Army; whom if they cannot involve into a quarrel one against the other, they shall raise up some strange The Le­vellers, a Plot of the Jesuits. spirits amongst them that shall vigorously oppose, and perchance utterly confound them both; If this string fails, there is another stronger for the Bow. And now Gentlemen, if there be any of you that make [Page 28] exceptions, or desire to have any one of the Articles more plainly expounded to you, (for there were articles drawn and agreed upon betwixt them) let them now be pleased to speak; there is nothing in which his Honour is not very desi­rous to give each of you satisfaction to the full: and whosoever of you have any request to promote concerning himself or friend, he may be heard, and in reason his request granted: Gentlemen, Your Quarters are now taken up in Leith, where you may freely reside by the connivance of these States, that when time shall serve you may be there ready to imbarque.

So they all with great unanimity declared their forwardness in the action; his Honor then saluting them with a generall Sa Sa parted from them, telling them he hoped shortly to be with them, and to see them all safely arrived in France, and in a little while in England again.

And now for the Antycerae, for here are fools enough to make a pretty formidable Fleet: In short time a right merry Gale commands our personall appearance a boord, whither we ganged as drunkenly reeling as the Ship, omnium getherum, all together; Quot capita, tot sensus, as many heads, so many windmills and aiery Castles; Seventeen daies (which is much for so short a journey) we were tumbled at Sea, enduring two very shrewd tempests; and really the Cast-awaies were like to be wrack't; yet all this did hardly allay the furious impie­ties of the Damme Blades till the Seamen bid them for shame prepare for death; which some of them did only by banning and cursing the Roundheaded French and Scotch Rogues; yet at last we (by a strange preservation) were whirled into Dunkirke Harbour, where the then naturalized Governour for the French, (Raunt zau) maugre the Agents Letters, sent us packing again, and would not so much as admit us to put our noses within his theivish Garrison, when he understood but what countrymen we were, (so strong a jealousy have the French ever had of the English) fearing that the Parliament of England having almost brought their business at home to an handsome period, might also have imployed us in a surprizall of that Port of Robbers; thereby to have opened a gap to the liberty of the miserably persecuted Reformists there; a Work worthy [Page 29] our States, when God shall please to put them upon it, which in blessed time may be done, when the Cavish Remora's of this Na­tion shall once have their bellies-full of rebelling and jarres.

Well, again we hoyst Sayle, and in some 10 or 12. houres put in at Saint Johnstones, betwixt Bulloine and Calais, the very place where Harry the Eight won Bullione; And here we got some provant for our weather beaten paunches: the Pea­sants gazeing upon us, and admiring what minde had blown thither such a company of odd blasted fellowes: Here we look't for an Army to be gone into England out of hand; we had those amongst us that askt of the French where the great body lay, that were bound for England; They swore by no small bones, that they more doubted of English to invade there; the name of Cromwell being more terrible amongst them then ever Henry the Eight was: this made the Gallants loll their ears and laugh at one an other: Not long after we had Quarters assigned at Gain in Picardy, though we were not like to gain much by the bargain; For that accommodation (which the Agent spake of in Scotland) befitting gentlemen of our quality, we found to be the lowsie straw which the Suit­zers had left behind them and a crust when we could catch it; So that we were like to be fed with a bit and a knock; for in a monthes space we were drawn into the field, up to Durlane, for the releif of Armantiers, not one Monsieur-Article obser­ved, but all dishonorably broken: In a word, to be breif, within a quarter of a year that brave Gallant number of Fusees were squandred all to peices, knockt o' the head, or starved: Oh the horrid miseries, incivilities, affronts, hardships and con­tempt these poor Caitiffes felt and received at the hands of the French, by many degrees (if possible) surpassing those former miseries they endured by the Scots! There was not a man amongst them, that if he were found napping, (as we call it, lagging) but the French usually butchered him for no other respect but quatenus Englishmen, such is their love to the Roy­all party of England: I have now concluded this part of our Comi-Tragaedy, leaving the poor Cabs in the ditches, and those of them left alive to unspeakable misery, the judgements of God pursuing them, whither so ever they fly, for theis hor­rible [Page 30] impieties of debauched Drunkeness and hellish Healths to mens Damnations; for their familiar Oathes and Blasphe­mies, their wild whorings, their cunning adulteratings (and then awingly-borrowings, but absolutely robbings of) the Families, where ever (under feigned freindship) they (for their secret ends and way of subsistance) by their joviall insmu­ations creep into; and especially for their foolishly-disobedi­ent and blindly-obstinate treacheries against their dearest Pa­rent their Country, in an humorous defence of a Tyrannicall King and Papisticall Queen (King Iames Fa­ther the L. Darley hangd it Scotland, the Queen of Scots his Popish Mo­ther, and his second son both behead­ed in Eng­land; King Iames him­self and his eldest Son more then suspected to be both poy­soned; His Daughters husband with her self and children driven out of all; His Favorite (and the Common­wealths Traytor) stabd: Her father an Apostate and stabd; her Mother a Popish Incendiary, the place noted unfortunate afterwards, where ever she came: Pr. Ch. resolved to turn Turk, but he will be revenged on the English; the Duke of Yo to be a Cardinal; Rupert as good as the best in the bunch &c. two strange families, to them and theirs most fatall) the unlucky offsprings of a Learned Scot, and a Warlike Apostate by the Fathers side, and of a Da­nish Such a hunting King and dancing▪ Queen In the English court were never seen. Wanton, and a Florentine Popish W. by the mothers: And now I come to relate some observations and certain pas­sages, which befell and intervende during my stay in France.

Mr. Ca. I know not upon what suddain change of minde, or whether (most secretly) imployd in some Agitation, present­ly got away for Saint Omers, and so to Spain; whence he promised after some season to return and meet us at the En­glish court at German en Lay; Mr. Br. and I speedily ca­roatcht thither, where when we came, we found a very strong report flying up and down amongst the Religious, (and yet choakt with as much privacy as could possibly be) that some­thing might be done for England this year; yet in short space it was blown over: For it was given to understand, that the Presbyter had not wholly fallen off and deserted the Parlia­ment; which was meant by that last but new Southern Colch. Ken. and Wal. rup­ture, in which the French and catholikes in generall were on edge to have a finger: But, upon better deliberation, (having not then the power and influence on the Scots and English▪ Presbyters, which by reason of the yong King they now have▪) they have reserved their strength for this very years after game: And most strangely confident were they all, that a breach one [Page 31] way or other would be wrought betwixt them; especially when they heard of the Peoples eager violence crying out for Justice against the Capitall Delinquent; for they hoped this would have reduc'd the Parliament to an hard Dilemma; as whither it were fitter, to deny the requests and clamours of the generality of the people, and so incense them; or else, by stopping the due course of Justice, to claw with a few inconsi­derate discontented Laodiceans whose luke-warm neutrality (having in time of yore, put their hands to the plough of Re­formation) turns them cleer off from what they had first inga­ged themselves to compleat: Which peice of Justice as it must of necessiry have been done, they resolved would (without doubt) very sufficiently provoke the Presbyter; (happily because they had not the honor of doing it themselves) the Cavaleers themselves are generally (all of them) fully of this opinion; and, say they, had these been suffered to domineer over us, we had not found that equall intermixture of justice with mercy, which we now do find at the hands of the Inde­pendent; the little finger of their gouty-loyned Covenant, which none of us would take, would have proved heavier to us then that line of an Engagement which we all have taken; nay they now say, that a reconciliation betwixt them is meerly im­possible; and yet they all hope, if they stir no more in rebelli­on, they shall see the happy day of a generall pardon from their now Governours.

But that which was the greatest obstruction, and did most of all binde the hands of the French from medling in the last new Presbyterian and Malignant Rebellion, was first not only the Spanish difference (which caused them to have an eye in their pole) not being yet made up, as anon I shall speak of; secondly, nor only the proneness of their own enslaved people to attain that precious liberty which the English had chalkt them out the way of; but thirdly, (and which is all in all) Cardinall Mazarin, Father D and a Ies. Le M. had not yet done their do with their yong P. Ch. Pupill; but a fair and hopefull pro­gress they had made in the business; They had brought him (by that time we came thither) to this, that he would very usually (but closely) go to see the fashion of a Private Mass [Page 32] with his Mother; and to my knowledge I have seen, that he can cross himself prettily of a young Beginner; but to Con­fession indeed they could not of a long time bring him, (though he might not be ashamed to confess what in forty weekes was so visibly seen by that young French Lady of Ho­nor; another young dainty French▪ English Heir Apparent) yet at last great promises prevailed, and the better to confirm them, his brother Jemmy (whipt into a Religion by his Mo­ther, and turning like a twyne threed) was forthwith to be Capt a Cardinall, and (besides) all Catholique Princes should be invited and consulted with for an unanimous invasion of England.

But loe news comes a loft upon the wings of the Winde, that the people and State of England had summoned his Father to an high Court of Judicature to bring him to a trial for all the innocent blood he had spilt, and the hideous devastations he had caused: This was no little good news to the Cardinalical party, (I mean the Jesuitical) for in my next I shall satisfie thee concerning their cunning workings; how even these, who pre­tend so much charity and friendship to the Son, did seek by all machinations to expidite and accelerate this high piece of Ju­stice upon the Father: and now say his Tutors to him, If they proceed to death with your father, it will prove rhe better for you; for it will utterly allienate the hearts and affections of the people from them, and you shall finde them to be the more ea­gerly violent for your re-investment, not considering the change of your Religion, which by any means shall not be publikely known to any but your good Catholique Subjects of England, till such time as you have wrested power enough into your own hands to protect it and your self in it; but indeed the Lad had some of the Fathers astutiousness in him, & presently asked the Cardinal the same question w^ch his Father once did the King of Spain, when he was almost easily intreated to have turned to the Faith Catholique; How shal I (said he) ever expect to be King of England, if once the English should understand I am turned Catholique? To which they easily gave a satisfactory resolution, telling him, That (as the case now stood) he must never look to be admitted but by Fire and Sword; the main force of arms [Page 33] must make way for him, neither could he ever in the least pro­bability atchieve that, or put it in execution, without the aide of Catholique Princes, which they will never be brought to act in, without a firm assurance of your reall and faithful conversion.

'Tis true, I must ingenuously acknowledge, for some term of time he made a little pauze upon this hard Lecture; but no sooner was there certain news arrived of his Fathers decollati­on, but he was heard by some of his attendance to swear a great oath, That he would turn Turk, or any thing, to be revenged of the bloody English; which mad boyish words were like to lose him the Lord Hopton, and other of the most considerable of his party of the Episcopal Protestants; for they plainly saw the great endeavours therewere for his conversion; besides, that most times they were secluded and barred from their at­tendances; and indeed they could not otherwise judge, but that he would easily be induced to Popery, who was resolved to turn Alcoranite, or any thing for revenge: Besides, all his Chaplains were turned to the wilde world a grazing, except onely those who did constantly assert their real conversion, as that Scotch dissembling Hypocrite (yet most rare Linguist) Doctor Chrichton did, and some few others: Hopton 'tis true (and some more which I could easily name) was packing up to be gone, and desert such a dangerous cause and rash Master (had he been admitted to pardon;) but he was woon and wound back again by that old subtile Fox (that Church-Papist, or rather Atheist) Cottington, and by the great Protestations and intreaties of many others English and French, (not for the least affection they bear him, but) well considering, how fit and plausibly he may serve to usher in a forraign Enemy, and be a Nose of Wax to the great design of Englands second Conquest; especially being so popular amongst many of the Western se­duced people, who think verily that good man will never come with those who have a design clearly to conquer this Nation, and fall to their old Fire and Faggot burning sport.

And now the great Overtures for a Spanish Treaty are set on foot, a difficult thing to be brought to pass, yet harder to be concluded, (such a natural Antipathy is there betwixt these Spa. & Fra. two Nations:) but the Jesuites (I know not how) at last [Page 34] effected it in some sort, and there was canvasing the business in private betwixt them above a quarter of a year, before the world could as much as take notice of such a thing; and when it did break forth, (such things cannot be hid in a dark Lanthorn) Propositions on both sides were so smothered, (at least adul­terated, before they came to the ears of men) that scarce any Neighbour Nations could give their positive judgements what would be the conclusion and result of that Game-underboard: The reason of all this covert closeness was, because their dis­course was most concerning that pretty prey of A hand­some plot of ground ly­ing convenient for ma­ny Catho­lique purpo­ses, and after which the Popes chops have a long time water­ed; expe­cting by the Jesuitical Plough of Italian Poli­cie (guided by Belzebub, and drawn by a mixt Team of French and Spanish A­gents, to which Cot­tington is Carter) to convert that good Pasture of Pro [...]estants into Romish-Arable, that it may be sharply reaped by the Sword, and the grain cruelly threshed out (at the Barn▪door of Rome) by the Scepter of a Catholique Conqueror: it were excellent for the Pope, then he might here again glean Peter-pence, convert easie souls, and carry more straw to Rome; who ever remained firm (resolved) to be left as stubble for the fire. England: It was urged by one to the other, that never was there a fairer opportunity then now to be revenged of those reforming A­postates, to fall on and surprize them, they thought it fit to make Hay while the Sun shined; and the most they yet disa­gree about, is who shall have the crop when it is mowed: The French make mountainous offers of returning such and such Fl. Cat. &c. places into the Spaniards possession, if he may be suffered to enjoy the conquest, the Spaniard being to furnish him with so much money, men, arms, shipping, ammunition, &c. for so long a time: Alas noble Monsieur, this is not like to fadge, for it runs diametrically opposite to that general opinion of the Spaniards, of an universal Monarchy; Truly Gentlemen, I humbly conceive, You reckon before your Host; You count your Chickens when the eggs are adled: We have an Army (and, because our confidence is not in the fleshly arm of man) that by the power of God will not fear to meet you half ways any where, at any time; and we have not a people so witched­ly besotted, that because you bring along with you one whom you make your stalking horse to your mischievous designs, will therefore open the door to let him in, that so you may come crowding in at his back; Do your worst, we fear you not, though there were eighty eight Nations more of you, all in­vading us on the next fifth of November.

But here a great while they have stuck fast in this Quagmire, not for a long time resolving one way or other, leaving the desperate English Youth in sad dumps to think, and a great greedy suspence to imagine why they so long procrastinate their assistances: And here (really) a man would have thought they would have been plunge [...] [...] everlasting; but what they have done in it, (their Tutor) the Devil knows; only thus much I am sure of, they have made the Lad believe, that without fail this Summer (and very probable) they will fall on, and put him (out of doubt) out of his pain: To this purpose he is put upon a work to beguil himself, I am mightily deceived if he do not find himself Cony-catch'd in it, and all the Lutheran and Calvinist States and Princes besides, (who will find themselves meerly drawn in) that have engaged in some aide of men and money, &c. They shall onely lead the Van, and be the forlorn Hope to the Rear-Catholiques, who will come powdering in too, but in their breeches with a vengeance; Well, but to these the young Papist hath sent Beggars to implore aide for the Protestant Cause in good Tru-ly; having Commissioned his Emissaries to engage, and make promise of a very faithful re­paiment of all their several charges and expences, by a general Tax upon the people, when (the skyes falling) he shall be able to catch Larks in England; which to constult, about they are to meet at Breda, where now a Babel of them are concurringly tumbled together; The Catholike he stands behinde the Hangings, and neatly observes all their resolutions; nor in­deed doth any thing pass as resolved without the Councel-Boord of France, their Approbation and Concurrence, a Jour­nall of their Transactions having been weekly posted up to the Lowre and St. Jermans, and especially wheresoever the Sta­tion and Residence of the Mazarini. Cardinal be at any time fixed, he having the onely influence (by order from his Holiness) on all the Acts there passed.

So that now (Reader) I will give thee a touch and but a glympse of the invading plot, how it is laid; because I intend (assoon as I have received my packet, and conferred circum­stances; for indeed I am now out of Suspected a Convert. their books) to come again speedily into the Press, and speak plain English; shew­ing [Page 36] thee some score of Catholikes, Priests, Je­suits, and trayterous Presbyteri­ans Names, which will even astonish thee to think, that we have so long hugged such vipers in our bo­somes: And then will I shew thee the second part of this story, beginning from German en Lay-to Breda, and so forward, in which there shall appear plain truths, and thou wilt be forc'd to believe them in spight of thy malignant heart; when it shall be made evident to thee, that at [...] they take it for granted, that we are already conquered, and reduced to the Faith, so confi­dent are they in the Resolutions of their main Ayders, the Presbyterians: Exitus acta probat, The proof of the pudding is in the eating good Mr. Pope.

[Ambition to rule, is more potent in One that is up; then Malice, to revenge, prevalent in one that is down:

And,

To one that is down, Auxiliaries obtained, not by coin, but upon courtesie (wherein may be craft) are most dangerous:

For,

A Forreign Prince needs no greater invitation to seize upon a Crown to himself, then when requested to regain it for ano­ther;

Yet,

Let no Civil Discords encourage any Forraigner to invade, since they that are factious among themselves (and jealous one of another) for this or that party, are ever (especially being already provided with an old conquering Army) more strongly prepared, when the whole is at stake, to encounter with a common Enemy; for, whom Civil Commotions set at variance, Forraign Hostility reconciles:

And surely,

A wise Forraigner would be cautious in undertaking an ex­pensive Design upon the report of such as are exiled their [Page 37] Country, whose ends expect Advantages from their Assistance, their miseries laying hold of all Opportunities, and seeking to be made whole, though upon their ruine; for, an Invader repelled, must expect (at the next bout) to be Invaded;

However,

If Forraigners will be Fooles, who can help it? Reader, be thou wise, in relying on God, and being true to thy Coun­try: Let no flattering wish deceive thee, malice urge thee, price nor promise bribe thee, nor ought else tempt thee to take part with any Enemy of the State: Assure thy self (if thou dost) whoever wins, thou art lost; If the State prevaile, thou art branded for a Rebell, and markt for death; If the Enemy prosper, thou shalt be reckoned as a Traytor, and not secured of thy life. He serves the State, that destroys a Rebell; And it is a common thing for a forraign Prince, that loves the Trea­son, to hate the Traitor: Above all, presume not on Secresie, such confidence hath undone many: Innumerous are the waies of finding out a man, besides finding him in the very act; Nor think a good wit can assuredly carry thee through an ill busi­ness; Every man may not be the Wit he thinks himself; And if he be, or more, yet none so cunning to cover, but to discover there are others as wise. If you think well to seem faithfull, you must needs think it is better to be so. Humanum est errare, condonare Divinum: Whoever wanders (as I have) let him quickly return to God, his Country, and himself. The Shortest errours are the best: Be not ashamed to be wise, be thou encouraged; for Peter (through the mercifull aspect of Jesus) doubled the grace by repenting, which he had lost by offending:]

Now for the Plot, it is thus laid: (Reader, thou hast it from a good hand, and an affectionate heart, to thy good; Believe it to thy preservation, for which be thankfull; and doubt it not, in simple ingratitude to God, and to thy destructi­on:) The Scots, that is, the Presbyterians both of England and Scotland (for London hath a lusty finger in the Breda-pye) [Page 38] are the fore horses to draw on the good Catholike Design; The little Queen (this every one knows) hath laid a strict command on her Lad, by all possible means to compose diffe­rences, and close interests with his guide friends the Scots & En­glish Presbyters, upon any kinde of conditions, how base or ig­noble soever, so that they may be brought to grapple with the English State; These are to advance and keep some spudder in the North, to draw down a considerable party thitherward; the English-brethren are by all possible means to work some strong diversion (if they can, or dare) in the Southern, or some other parts: The Montrossians at first were designed to keep warm the backs of the Scots, and presently with their for­raign Mercenaries, Danes, Swedes, Suitzers, Kerns, Normans, and some Germans, to advance as neer the guide town of E­denburgh as they could: But this (too late for their advantage) was perceived; and did put the Leslyans to more then an halt in their resolutions, even to a turning faces upon the Hurrey­ing Invaders; so that now it seems they are remaunded, and have cross orders to hoyse for Ireland (as tis given out) to make all cleer there in a trice: but this is but a flim-flam, they are (as I have some reason to suppose and report) to joyn with the Lord Hopton in the Western Islands, who is only use­full, and imployed for nought else, but to cover an Out-landish Invasive Enemy, with his plausible presence, and some English with him: and others to prick on the Jockies to be sent in their steed into Scotland, but not till the English and Scots come to Handy-gripes. Nor are any to second Hopton but these, and some Flemish aide by sea and land, till he hath made the Gap wide, and the way cleer for some other Party: and then, ex­pect from all parts and Kingdoms some sweeping Armies of Catholikes to land in severall places at once, which (as the Ca­valcers themselves do brag and give out) shall come like a floud, and in a trice rush and overflow the whole land like an Et tunc im­menso impetu Hostis confi­nibus ingruit. Inun­dation: But of this more in my next Treatise, which I am confident will be convincing enough to stir up the spirits of the most venemously unsatisfied ones that are, to an unani­mous opposition of (at least) all the forreign Enemies of our Peace and Country: who if ever (as God forbid) they [Page 39] should come to gain a conquest over poor England, be ye as­sured, Presbyterians and Cavaleers too, that ye also must to pot, and are in as great a Predicament (of confusion) as he that is now and ever,