All to Westminster: NEWES FROM ELIZIUM, OR, A Packet of wonders, brought over in Charons Ferry-Boat last Spring Tyde: Discovering many notable things worth Observation, 1641.
Printed in the Yeare, 1641.
All to Westminster.
IN the still houres of the gloomy night, when Morpheus was the secure Canopy of most mens hearts, my troubled fancy kept me waking, and various whimsies did suggest into my secret thoughts, wherby my wearied body could take no rest, though in the still houres of the cloudy night; but after the passing over of some sad meditations, the moone began to shine, which seemed to me delightfull: then I arose, for my cogitations invited mee to walke abroad.
I went into the city, and walk't from street to street, but the beating of the city drums did almost break my brain: I went into the Country, and espying a great house, I visited it, and when I approached, I cast my eyes upon it, & walked about it, where at last I beheld the porch: I went into it, and there J laid me down to sleep; but J was soon disturbed. The Country Swaines came thither, knocking at the dore, with their long pike-staves in their hands, and their pouches hanging by their side, they srighted me terribly: I know not what to thinke of it, but I spake boldly unto them, and asked them what place that was: who answered me that a Judge dwelt there: I asked them againe, doth your Judge (quoth I) heare Cases in the night? and they told me, that they were thus often troubled and detracted from their rest, to come thither, else (quoth they) wee should goe to law, but never meet with Gospellers; I asked them why they carryed such long staves in their hands, and such pouches by their sides, and many such like questions, and they told me, that their staves were to defend them from theeves, that lay lurking up and downe the Country, and that their bags were to put writings & their money in, both which they brought to the Gentleman of the house, to defend their cause, and assist [Page 1]them against their adversary, that would wrong them in their estates. But they told me such a story, that J was almost mad, me thought the house began to sinke, and J poore timorous Cative, began to flye, and tooke sanctuary in the Church-porch: there J laid me down again, thinking with my selfe, surely here I shall rest quietly, but before I was web laid, and had contrived my place to lye to sleepe, I heard a clomping noise, as if some horse had come into the porch, and looking what it was, I espyed a Country fellow, I think it was the Sexton came to toule the bell for some body that lay dying, and he told me that my Lords grace of Canterbury, had sent a command, that none should put the consecrated Temple to common uses, and therefore he told me that I must not sleepe in the Church-porch; for it is holy (qd. he) what thought I, will not England afford me a resting place: away I sayled into Ireland, to sea what entertainment I could get there; but I was there troubled with so many Crosses, & heard so many lamentations like forlorne Pilgrims amongst the people, that being extreame weary, and discontented, I prayed for them and departed.
Then away J betooke me into Scotland, and there I met with 3 or 4 bonny Scots, In their blew caps, and I told them the story of my travels, & they made me to drinke of their Scottish Ale, and comforted me, and told me that my best way to rest quietly, was to obtain a lodging in Westminster hall, they told me that there were erected thousands of new quiet lodgings, pleasant & delightfull, where, though a man had no rest quietly this 20 or 30 years, he might yet there sleepe securely, and take sweet and comfortable rest, which made me very glad, and I came amaine to Westminster Hall, where I found the bonny Scottish-mans words true, where I slept ever since, and tooke my rest so well, to my great comfort, that I often thinke what cause I have to cry, God-amercy good Scot. But yet in the midst of a deepe sleepe, me thought I saw a strange vision, which J shall declare.
The Vision.
Neare unto my bed (me thought) I did espy a doore which I opened, & went through, when I had passed the doore, me thought I was by the Sea side, and seeing people there, I demanded what place that was, and they answered that it was the landing place for Carons Ferry-bote, when they said so, J looked over the waves, and espyed the boat, but far off, which they told me came from Elizium: the Passengers they told me were Pluto his prisoners, Now on a suddaine the winds arose, and the waves did beat, and the boate came wafting amaine, one while they mounted to the top of the highest waves, and on a suddain were out of sight; But such was their mishap, that on a sudden they were drove upon a rock, which split their boat in peeces, Charon himsefle being a good swimmer, returned home to carry the newes of his mishap, the passengers got upon plancks and boards, and shifted each man for himselfe as they could, being all in danger of every wave to sinck into the deluge: now I shall tell you what did afterwards ensue to some of them.
Those that landed in France.
Me thought no Gold-sinch, not the swiftest bird was able to out fly the one, who soon made franch his shore, a secōd also, fastning himselfe unto a great planck, was by the rage of the furious winds blown with as much swiftnesse to the bankes bordering on the French Seas, others also of both Sects found shelter there when they were drove to shore, and so have saved their lives.
Those that landed at the Ferry-place.
The first that approached to the shore, where we beheld this sight, came ashore with helpe, extreame weary, and dropping wet, staggering like an Irish Sea Crab, being almost spent with those turmoyling waves, through which he lately past: Now whereas there was a great stacke of [Page 3]straw at a foord comming from the Sea, through a Channell into the Land, he betakes himselfe thither, and there he sits to rest himselfe a while, but being wet, and sitting in the cold, found himselfe to be very ill, insomuch that rising up, he found it difficult to goe, and therefore called for helpe to assist him, who tooke the next Inne, which chanced to be the Castle for his lodging, the extremity of his sicknesse grew greater, who sent for divers Doctors to come unto him, who came and advised with him: there came to him a Dutch Doctor, and he told him that his distempered braine had brought him into a frenzy, and that his body would never be well, untill his braines were taken away: There came to him a French Doctor, and hee told him that an Italian purge (which he would procure for him) made of the best approved drugs in Rome, was the onely physick for his malady, acquainting him that his Disease was desperate, and therefore he must be content to betake himselfe to a desperate potion; who told the Patient that he would warrant his Medcin, either to amend him, or end him.
There came an Irish Doctor, who told him that he found that there was a bladder of blood in his throat, growing in a dangerous place, and if that was well cut off by Doctor Gregory, or some other such experienced Practitioner, no doubt he would recover, and be at ease.
Then came the Scottish Doctor, and he told him plainly a my saule man (qd. he) there is nae way but death, & thersore advised him to prapare himselfe; for I warrant thee (quoth he) thou'st dye, or I will dye for tee.
Last of all came the English Doctor, who prescribed him rich Cordials, and all the means that could beto comfort him, but alas it was all to no purpose; for a certaine time came, when poore man he fell down upon the floore, but he had such a fall that made his head and body part, and he never spake word after.
The second that landed at the Ferry-place.
After him was driven to shore, an old man in a Canting gown, as black as a berry; & well was it for him that he had a gown, or else he had bin drown'd before he came ashore, for the spreading of the skirts of his great gown kept him. He was convei'd to a private mans lodging at Lambeth, who comming into the Hall, sate by the fier side, intending to put off his clothes, and to dry himselfe, but the Chamberlain came in, and told him, that the hall was appointed for other companies, and therefore desired him to walke into the lower Chamber, which he was loath to doe, but being constrained, at the last he went, where he caused a good fire to be made, the chamber to be aired, and his bed to be warmed, & so he put off his clothes, & went to bed: but being very ill, could not take his rest quietly, but slumbered and raved & muttered in his sleepe extreamly, and when he awaked, one asked him how he did, who answered, that he was very sick, & being asked what distur bed him, he said, he was in a dreame: I dreamed, viz.
The old mans dreame in the black gowne.
Me thought (qd. he) J was a great man, and very ambitious of honour, and so much, that I laid my hands upon a Princes Crown to take it by force, or at least to overtop it: but I tumbled & knocked my head against it, and did almost, if not altogether (by that means) knock out my braines: so that I was faine to send for Surgeons to come and dresse my wounds, wch swelled extreamly, they appointed me a plaster to asswage the swelling, but it put me to such extreamity of pain, that I could not suffer it, and J required some other course to be taken to cure me; for I told them (qd. he) that death it selfe was more supportable, then the ircksome plaster, so contrary to my Nature, & I was me thought (qd. he) so extreamly humorsome with them, that they departed and left me to my selfe, but I threatned them, that if they would not humour me, I would be avenged on them, which swords prevailed so far, that I prevailed with the most of them to [Page 5]please my fancy, who put pleasant Oyles into my wounds, and gave me Cordials to comfort me, which gave me pretty ease, though my sore became the more difficult to cure, so after a while they departed, leaving mee to my selfe alone. Now when as J was so private, I thought it fittest (in my meditation) to goe to prayer. My thoughts drew nye to my cabinet, where amongst my other Reliques, my affections led mee to St. Patrick, so I kneeled downe to pray, & view'd the Image well, and having done prayer, J called for my attendance, and commanded them to stand stifly in my ayd and be true, and I would be as true to them, when I was exalted into my glory, which I am very confident (qd. he) will be attained unto? So that I expect my dignity to be an admiration to the world. Is not Italy my ayd, France my succour, Spaine my reliefe, Rome my Counsell, and these three Kingdomes my prey, doe not my projects thrive, and who dare out-face my will, if the Puritans and Burton crosse my humour, or Bastwicke disturbe me, if Laiton, Lilborne, or any such fellowes rise against me, i'le prime their eares, whip them, i'le gag them, imprison and correct them severely for it, and they shall know who, & what I am. But amongst the rest, me thought I lash't one Scottish man soundly, and came neare anothers life, he escaped, and he loves me since, as well as I loved him then: but the old man being merry with talking, bad his servants and attendance to withdraw a while: then me thought (qd. he) I went to my Cabinet again, at which time my fancy chose St. Gregory? I kneeled downe and bowed before it, and begun to pray, but after, qd. he, when J looked seriously upon it, it made me start, and spoyled my devotion; for St. Gregory was pictured with a rope about his middle, laying his right hand upon it, as if he had intended to take it off, which made me quake (what thought I, quoth he) doth the Image jeere me, but when I rose up from my disturbed praying, I cast mine eyes behind mee, and me thought there stood a young fellow by me with a new Hempen halter in [Page 6]his hand which did so affright mee, that I fell into a great trance, and crying out, I awaked, and trembled a long time after; for I thought verily that the three corner'd cap't Rogue would have hanged me presently.
The 3. and 4. that landed there.
But to return to my story, there were driven to that ferry-place, two more afterwards, the one was an old man in a fur gowne, just like Winter, in Russian Robes; he was preserved then from drowning for another purpose now, and as the other old man before gave laud to St. Gregory, and blest himselfe before St. Patrick: so this dropping wet, halfe drowned barley top't projector, gave praise to Neptune, and would have plauded Fortune, but when he came ashore, he selt him self ill, and his belly full of water, which constrained the people, that as they told him to shore, so they tyed him by the heeles to disburden him of his tympany, and after him came a Ratliffe Scrivener, who was swolne with the water, as big as St. George his horse, whom the people ordered as they did the other, that the water might run out of his belly, afterwards being disburdened of the water, as opportunity and meanes would permit, they tooke their lodging at the Lanthorne, neere Yeeld-Hall; these two were much taken notice off, and certaine debts were demāded of them, but they answered, that they were so old, that by law they were lost, bonds were produced, which made them cry peccavi, but yet they would not pay: but in the end came an honest Messenger from Westminster, and told them that it did concerne them to looke about them; for Gregorie the Officer was sent for, and if he can but get a warrant, they would be sure to be Arrested, and hee's a terrible fellow, a man were as good to be hang'd, as to be in his custody.
There is more I should have written, but expect it in the second part; So at this time farewell.