AESOP AT TUNBRIDGE.
FAB. I. Fair Warning.
IN Aesop's, new-made World of Wit,
Where Beasts could talk, and read, and write,
And say and do as he saw fit.
A certain Fellow thought himself abus'd,
And represented by an Ass;
And Aesop to the Judge accus'd
That he defamed was.
Friend, quoth the Judge, how do you know
Wherer you are defam'd or no?
How can you prove that he must mean
You, rather than another Man?
Sir, quoth the Man, it needs must be,
All Circumstances so agree,
And all the Neighbours say 'tis Me.
That's somewhat, quoth the Judge, indeed,
But let this Matter pass;
Since 'twas not Aesop, 'tis agreed,
But Application made the Ass.
FAB. II. The Cock and Pearl.
A Dunghil Co [...]k was raking in the Ground,
And flirted up a Pearl;
I would, quoth he, thou hadst been [...]ound
By some great Lord or Earl.
My self a single B [...]ly-corn
Would, surely, rather find:
We Creatures that are dull, Earth-born,
Things only useful mind.
Whilst they who are divinely Wise,
And do from Jove proceed,
Thy lovely orient Lustre prize,
And for thy Beauty trade.
FAB. III Of the Horse and Ass.
A Horse and Ass were journying on their way,
The Horse was only harness'd, light, and gay;
The Ass was heavy loaden, and lagg'd behind,
And thus, at length, bespake his Friend.
Companion, take some pity on my State,
And ease me but of half my Weight;
Half will to you no burthen be,
And yet a mighty help to me.
The Horse laugh'd loud, and shook his Head,
And wantonly curvetting said;
Seignior, we Horses never choose
The Burthens that we can refuse;
And should such Jest upon me pass,
Methinks I should be but an Ass.
The Ass quite spent, and vext to be deny'd,
Sunk down beneath his Weight, and dy'd.
The Master coming up, took off the Sack,
And threw it on the Horse's Back:
[Page 7]And having flaid his Ass, he threw
The filthy Hide upon him too.
At which the Horse, thus sadly humbled, cry'd.
(Letting some Tears for Grief and Anger fall)
Whether 'twere Cruelty, or Pride,
That I so fair Request deny'd.
I am justly serv'd, and made to carry all.
The Asses of the South and East
Desire the Horses of the North and West,
That, as to Parliament they trot,
This Fahle may not be forgot.
FAB. IV. Of the Judgment of the Ape.
A Wolf complain'd that he had lost a Lamb,
And strait impleads a Fox of no good Fame,
(Who had a Lamb) that he had stoln the same,
An Ape was to decide the Cause,
Having some Knowledg in the Laws.
No Councel was by either feed,
Each would his Cause, in Person, plead;
And so they did, with mighty heat;
The Judge himself did almost sweat,
To hear the force of their Debate.
How they accuse, and how defend,
How they reply'd, joyn'd and rejoyn'd.
At length in pity to the Court,
The Judg was fain to cut them short;
And thus determin'd — Sirs, in troth,
The Lamb belongs to neither of you both.
You, Mr. Wolf, have, doubtless, lost no Lamb;
And, Renard, you as surely stole that same;
But not from him, If Justice might prevail,
You should be both condemn'd to Fine and Jail.
So two great Lords for an Estate may fight,
Which does to neither appertain, by Right.
FAB. V. Of the Horse and Man.
A Fierce will Boar, of monstrous size and force,
Did once, in early days, affront a Horse:
Who meditating Vengeance, found his Will
To hurt, much greater than his Power and Skill;
And therefore, chaf'd and resolute, he ran
To the next House, and thus apply'd to M [...]n.
I come, Superiour Power, whom Jove hath made
His Substitute on Earth, to seek thy Aid,
Against a sordid Brute, who injures me,
And likewise speaks contemptibly of Thee.
Jove whom thou nam'st (said Man) was to thee kind,
And sent thee where thou shalt Assistance find.
But this injurious Boar will never meet
Our Arms upon the Plain, but trusts his Feet.
But shall his Feet then his Protection be,
Since Swiftness is the Gift of Jove to thee?
(Mark it, my Friend, this Insolence
Deprives us of our common Sense.)
This doubtless he forgot; so will not we.
You, for Convenience, will a while submit
To be directed with a Bridle and Bit;
And take me on your Back, till we shall see
This your outrageous Enemy.
Up, said the Horse then, let us never rest,
Till we have found this cursed Beast.
Away then to the Woods they flew,
The Horse his Haunts and Coverts knew,
And there his Foe, the dextrous Warriour slew.
This done, they jocund homewards make,
And thus the Horse the Man bespake.
Now, Sir, accept my Thanks for what is past,
I to my wonted Fields, and Friends must haste.
Hold, quoth the Man, we part not quite so soon:
Your Business is, but Mine is not yet done.
Some Service there remains, due to the Aid
I lent you, which must be repaid.
[Page 9]This said, he light, and ty'd him to a Rack;
Where the poor Creature, thus with Sorrow spake.
Slight was the Injury of the Boar,
And might, perhaps, have been no more:
But now I'm utterly undone,
My Ease and Liberty are gone.
Sweet is Revenge, just in the Taste,
But surely Bitterness at last.
Let other Creatures warning take,
What Bargains they in Passion make.
Let Nations also take good care,
That they with many Hardships bear,
Rather than seek Redress abroad;
Which is but adding to their Load.
FAB. VI. The Bargain.
TWO Welchmen Partners in a Cow,
Resolv'd to sell her dear;
And laid their Heads together, how
To do't at Ludlow Fair.
It was a sultry Summers Day,
When out they drove the Beast;
And having got about half way,
They sat them down to rest.
The Cow, a Creature of no Breeding,
(The place with Grass being stor'd)
Fed by; and whilst she was a feeding,
Let fall a mighty T—,
Roger, quoth Hugh, I tell thee what,
Two Words and I have done;
If thou wilt fairly eat up that,
The Cow is all thy own,
'Tis done, quoth Roger, 'tis agree▪
And to't he went a pace;
He seem'd so eager sett, 'tis said,
That he forgot his Grace.
He labour'd with his wooden Spoon,
And up he slopt the Stuff;
[Page 10]Till, by the time that half was done,
He felt he had enough.
He f [...]l [...]: but scorning to go back,
Would look as if he wanted more;
And seem'd to make a fresh Attack,
With as much Vigor as before.
But [...]o [...]ping short a while, he cry'd,
How fa [...]es it, Neighbour Hugh?
I hope by this, you 're satisfied,
Who [...] M [...]ster of the Cow.
Ay, ay, qu [...]th Hugh (the Devil choak thee,
For nothing else can do't,)
I'm s [...]tisfi'd that thou hast broke me,
U less thou wilt give out.
Give out? quoth Roger, that were fine;
Why, what have I been doing?
But y [...]t I tell thee, Friend of mine,
I shall not seek thy Ruine.
My Heart now turns against such Gains;
I know th' art piteous poor.
Eat thou the half that still remains,
And 'tis as 'twas befo [...]e.
God's Blessing on thy Heart, quoth Hugh?
That Proffer none can gainsay;
With that, he readily fell to,
And eat his share o'th' Tansie.
Well now, quoth Hodge, w' are ev'n, no doubt,
And n [...]ither side much Winner.
So had we been, quoth Hugh, without
This damn'd confounded Dinner.
Let this, both to our Wars and Peace
Be honestly apply'd;
France and th' Allies have done no less,
That what these Welch-men did.
FAB. VII. The Frogs Concern.
TWO fierce young Bulls within the Marshes strove.
For the Reward of Empire and of Love;
[Page 11]Which should the fairest Heifer gain,
And which should govern all the Plain.
This, when a Frog hard by perceiv'd,
He sigh'd, and sob'd, and sorely griev'd,
He hung his Head, and made great moan,
As though he had lost his Wife or Son.
At which a neighbour Frog admir'd,
And kindly of the Cause enquir'd;
Which when he knew, he said in hast [...],
And Gossip, is this all at last?
If this and that great Loggerheaded Bull
Will try the Thickness of each others Scull,
E'en let them do, as fit they see:
But what is that to You and Me?
If that, replied the other, were all indeed,
We should about this Matter be agreed.
I should not care a single Groat,
To see 'em tear each others Throat;
But, Friend, the Creatures of such Might,
Can never meet in Field to fight,
But in the Fury of their full Carreer,
Both you and I endanger'd are;
And all our kindred Tribes below,
In hazard of their Lives must go.
When Bulls rush on, or when retreat for Breath,
They'll tread a hundred of us little Folks to death.
If Kings would fight themselves alone,
Their People still secure,
No mortal Man would part 'em sure,
But let them e'en fight on.
But when the Subjects Blood is spilt,
And their Estates are drain'd,
To justifie a Princes Guilt,
Or have his Vanity maintain'd;
When they must pay for all at last,
That Lust, Ambition, or Revenge lay waste;
The poorest Man alive may fear,
And pray against the Miseries of War.
FAB. VIII. Of a Man and his Ass.
A Wretched Churl was trav'l [...]ing with his Ass,
Beneath two Panniers Load opprest;
And hearing Noise behind, cry'd to the Beast,
Fly, my Friend Roger, fly apace;
Else I'm undone, and all my Market's naught;
And thou thy self will by the Rogues be caught.
Caught? quoth the Beast, what if I be?
What will it signifie to me?
My Panniers are so full, they'll hold no more;
I carry two and cannot carry four.
'Twixt Rogues and You, I can no difference make,
They are all Rogues to me, who break my back.
Fly, fly from France, our Statesmen cry.
And Slavery's cursed Yoke;
Whilst with our Ancient Liberty,
Our very Backs are broke.
France is a Thief; but France can do no more,
Than keep the Panniers on we had before.
FAB. IX. Of a Wolf.
A Wolf retiring from Whitehall,
Where he had Statesman been,
Built for himself a Box so small,
That few could be receiv'd within.
The Country all admir'd at this,
And could not at the Reason guess,
Why one so Wealthy and so Great,
Should cage himself at such a rate.
Till at the last a Fox came by,
A Courtier also, sleek and fly,
And thus in earnest and in jest,
His Reason gave amongst the rest,
[Page 13]Perhaps my Lord Commissioner intends,
Here to receive only his honest Friends,
FAB. X. The Plaintiff and Defendant.
TWO Travellers an Oyster found,
Dropt from some Pannier down;
Each stoopt, and took it from the Ground,
And claim'd it as his own.
Since both can't have it all, said one,
E'en let it parted be.
No, says the other, all or none,
But all belongs to me.
One Serjeant Law, by chance came by,
And he must end the Strife:
Which thing he did immediatly,
With his deciding Knife.
He took the Fish, and cut it up.
(This Cause he opened well)
And fairly did the Oyster sup,
And gave to each a Shell.
And if hereafter Causes rise,
Where People can't agree,
I know, quoth he, you'll be so wise
To refer them still to me.
My Name is Law, my Chambers are
At some of the Inns of Court,
Or Serjeant's, or Westminster,
Where all for Help resort.
Sir, quo' the Men, trust us for that,
We shall not fail to tell,
'Twas Law that did the Oyster eat,
And left to Us the Shell.
FAB. XI. Of the Pigeons.
THE Hawks were once at mortal Jars,
Which came at length to Civil Wars,
The Pigeons they stood looking on,
And, full of Pity, made great moan;
To see how bloodily they fought,
And never would these Creatures cease,
Till they had mediated a Peace.
The Hawks did easily consent,
So Peace was made, and home they went,
Where when they came and wanted Prey,
And how to pass their time away;
They fairly made one general Swoop,
And eat their Mediator up.
Two lucky Pigeons were not there,
And so escap'd the Massacre.
Of which the One to th'Other said,
How came our Kindred all so mad?
Parting of Hawks! Hawks ever should
Be gorg'd with one anothers Blood.
The Wicked have a natural Rage,
(A thirst of Violence to asswage.)
Which if not on the Wicked spent,
Will fall upon the Innocent.
So the poor Hugonots of France.
And Vaudois full as poor.
Pray'd loudly, in their Innocence.
That God would Peace restore.
Peace was restor'd; but Peace to them
No Safely did restore;
Their Hawks employ'd their Power and Time
Much worse than e'er before.
And thou, O Church of England Dove,
Don [...] not upon thy Peace;
That may, than War, more fatal prove,
Both to thy Wealth and Ease.
FAB. XII. The Farmer and the Hare.
A Hare did on [...] into a Garden get
Belonging to a Farm;
Where she began to throw up Earth, and eat,
And do some little Harm.
The Farmer cours'd her round and round.
But got her not away;
Puss took a liking to the Ground,
And there resolv'd to stay.
Well, quoth the Fellow, in a Fret,
Since you are grown so bold,
I shall some more Assistance get,
And drive you from your Hold.
And strait he, sends to a young Squire,
That he, by break of day
Would with his Pack of Hounds repair,
And sport himself that way.
The Squire, as ask'd, attended came,
With Folks, and Horse, and Hounds;
And in pursuance of the Game,
Rode over all the Grounds.
They leapt the Ditches, broke the Hedges down,
They trampl'd all the Garden round,
And kill'd poor Puss at last.
At this the Farmer tore his Hair,
And swore most bloodily,
Zounds! What confounded work is here?
And what a Fool am I?
Not fifty Hares, in fifty Days,
Had so much Mischief done,
As this good Squire (whom I must praise
And thank) hath wrought in One.
If our Deliverance from the Frights
Of standing Army near,
And silly superstitious Rites,
Worth Forty Millions were;
[Page 16] Then have we wisely broke our Mounds,
That our Defences were,
Wisely call'd in our Neighbours Hounds,
And kill'd the desperate Hare.
But if, with all this vast Expence,
Besides a Sea of Blood
Spilt in the Church and States Defence,
Our Matter▪ stand much as they stood.
Then have we done a World of ill,
With endless Cost and Pains,
A little hurtful Hare to kill;
And well deserve the Brains.
FAB. XIII. Poetry its Cure.
A Youth of pregnant Parts and Wit,
And thirsty after Fame,
Was musing long which way to get
An everlasting Name.
And having heard of Poetry,
And its Immortal Praise;
He thought the way to Fame must lye
By courting of the Bayes.
He heard how many a noble Town
Laid Claim to Homer's▪ Birth,
To purchase from it a Renown,
Above the rest of th' Earth.
This kindl'd in his generous Mind
A strong and noble Fire,
He seem'd for nothing else design'd,
Could nothing else desire.
The Father finding this intent
Ill with his state agreed,
That, living, wanted Six per Cent.
Much more than Fame, when dead:
Resolv'd to try to cure his Mind,
And change his vain Designs,
And could no fitter Method find,
Than sending him these Lines:
Seven wealthy Towns contend for HOMER Dead,
Through which the Living HOMER begg'd his Bread.
FINIS.