THIS Great Man of Little Law, was not generally taken notice of for a Tall Trencherman, till the beginning of the late Kings Reigne, who having gleaned some fragments of Law, was resolved to make some body pay form them: and in a Michael­mas Tea [...]me, (when Rost beefe savours best) hee tooke up a Countrey Client (as a Whore does her Chance) and to We [...]mnster he goes, where the first motion he made, was, to Break-fast, saying, he should be the better prepared for an Encounter at the Barre. The Gentleman in hopes to have successe in his owne Motion, granted him his, and to Break-fast they went, the Place designed for it was the Red Lyon in the Palace yard, where they took a Room, and the Gentleman bid the fellow bring a six penny-slice of Rost-beefe, six penny worth (quoth Marriot) in wrath? what, doe you take me to be a Chicken Hee lookes more like an Oxe. why, then bring twelve penny worth sayes his Client, sure that will serve, or else the Devil is in us: Not so neither (quoth Marriot) Come, let us be good Husbands, you shall see what a Caterer I will prove, and so enters the Kitchin: quoth he to the woman of the house, what shall I give thee for as much of thy Beefe as will suffice two, Marriot did not mean him­selfe. ten groats quoth the woman, sye that is un­reasonable quoth Marriot, I know not how unreasonable you may be with my Beefe (quoth she) I have no measure of your Bellies, Nor he nei­ther of his owne. nor had I ever such a question put to me before: Well, well, said Mar­riot, then we will goe another way to work, what is the price of the whole Surloyne? what the Devill will you doe with it quoth shee, carry it away I warrant thee quoth he, we will leave none behinde us, fea [...]e not: 'Tis six shillings quoth the woman, five said Marriot, and bring it in, and so returnes to his Client, what have you done Mr. Marriot quoth his Client, I have bid money for a pretty mor­sell (quoth Marriot) if they will take it, and with that in comes the Beefe, at sight whereof his Client startles, why, what's the matter [Page 2]man quoth Marriot, afraid of good meate? or did you never see a Surloin of Beef before? Blesse me said his Client what mean you, we have no more company to come to us. No matter said Marriot, heres company enough, you know the proverb, The more the mer­rier, but the fewer the better Cheer, and so Marriot sell on, his Cli­ent was so amazed, he had not power to eate a bit: What said Mar­riot, does the sight of my feeding take away your Stomack? see what tis to be so pulingly fedd. By this time the Wonder was over, and the Beefe wrought to the bones, the Gentleman smiling, asked if there were any more meate in the house, for he had eate nothing, Yes said the fellow that waited, there is a cold Capon: Oh let us have it by all meanes quoth Marriot, no meate so excellent as a cold Capon, why then said his Client (and smiled) let's have it, You shall not starve in a Cooks shop Mr. Marriot; your Cause shall fare the better for it quoth Marriot. Will you have any Sauce quoth the fellow, Sauce to a cold Capon (quoth Marriot) away you Rascall, Hunger is the best sauce when all is done. I protest Sir (quoth his Cli­ent) you have an excellent faculty, I Sir (quoth Marriot) I would you had so good a stomack, so would not I (replyed his Client) for I should starve my Wife and Children then. The Capon was brought in, Sir (quoth Marriot) we must make all the hast we can, the Court will sit suddenly: I perceive Sir (quoth his Client you will loose no time, oh 'tis a precious thing quoth Marriot) and so dis­patched the Capon, at which his Client laughed heartily, and said 'tis the best frolique I ever paid for in London, I am glad it pleased you, Sir, quoth Marriot. The reckoning being paid, quoth the wo­man of the house, you are welcome Gentlemen, and for your part Sir (to Marriot) could you but drink as well as you can eate, you would be the best Guest comes to my house, provided you paid for what you called for, if I doe not, some body else shall I warrant thee woman: (quoth Marriot) I was not borne for my selfe only, and so trotted on to the Hall, where wee leave him to his socond Motion.

CHAP. II. How Marriot having his Motion granted, urged his Client to goe to dinner, and what happened.

MArriot, though a Man of weake Judgement, yet of strong Lungs, bellowed so loud at the Barre, that to be rid of him the Judges opened their eares (I cannot say their un­derstanding) and granted his Motion: Upon which Marriot hol­lowed forth in open Court, Blessing on the Judges, and keep them in this mind ever. Now (quoth Marriot to his Client) what thinke you? have I not friends? yes, and good ones too you see, but what say you to a Dinner Marriot not in Commons.? 'tis that time a day (for he was too dan­gerous a person to be admitted into Commons among the rest of his Function:) why (replied his Client) are you ready for a Dinner that made but now so stout a Breakfast? Ready Marriot ne­ver unprepa­red. and ready again (quoth Marriot.) Alas Sir, Meate quickly disgests with men of my Calling, I have walked since, and talked since; and spent my Spirits in your Cause, a Noble refreshment will be very seasonable. Hark you Mr. Marriot (quoth his Client) your Motions are very chargeable, are all your Clients at the cost to finde you meate and money too? Yes, yes, quoth Marriot, some meate and some money does well, but you will have all and sum where ever you come Mr. Marriot quoth his Client. I take lesse fees for my Motions (quoth Marriot) then any Man in Towne, but you take more meate then will serve three­score quoth his Client, and laughed heartily. Alas Sir, (quoth Marriot) my belly is not so deepe but it may be filled; marry and I will try that (quoth his client) if all the meate in Westminster will do it: And so his Client being resolved to fathom his ungodly Paunch, carryed him to the house where they breakfasted; but hee having made there so great a slaughter in the morning, that they were un­prepared to meet his Noons Encounter; but very civilly the wo­man of the house told him (being a good customer) that if he plea­sed to say what he would have, it should be drest in a trice: No quoth Marriot, my Stomack is up, and I must have something pre­sently to appease it, or my whole frame will be out of order, and so he marched into Kings street with a Stomack of no small growth, in so short a time, where, having searched every Cooks shop, that had a fit appearance to receive his Client (though a stye would serve him) and finding Provision fall short of Expectation, all being spent before, Marriot began to rave, and swore the People had a minde to starve him. At last, searching for his Prey That is, whom he may devour., espyed on his left hand [Page 4]towards the three Tuns Tavern, a Dirty Tray full of dirtier Draffe is good enough for Swine. meat of all sorts, such as had endured the sury of the fire at least a dozen times, and been drowned in Greace as often: The house, or rather a Den, The house de­scribed. out of which came a smoak able to choake a horse, and cer­tainly from the time of its building never had been befriended with Sun. The Cook himself of grisly hue, appeared as though he had bin bred up in Pluto's Kitchin: His Maudlin, or Shee-thing, of like com­plexion, with an Apron of perfect Sluttery, and of countenance able (a Man would think) to overcome the most resolure and strongest appetite. Yet Marriot no whit daunted, encouraged his Client to step over, saying, See Sir, where the hand of Providence ha's dire­cted us, I protest I began to faint. His Client perceiving his gastly countenance, fearing he would eate him if he were kept longer from meate, resolved to endure the Plague of the house, rather then suf­fer by his tyrannous Jawes, and so with Nose not Scent-free, he en­ters the inchanted Castle, with Giantick Marriot; Marriot poyses the Tray, and finds it answerable to his Stomack, quoth he, friend, what wilt thou take for as much meate as I can eate, this Gentleman is not at this time for eating: Why, Sir, (quoth the fellow) one of these pieces will serve two men, and you shall dine on one of them for twelve pence: No quoth Marriot, I am a Gentleman, and will not be confin'd to one Dish, I must take here a bit and there a bit; troth I feare (quoth the fellow) it will spoile the fale of them, but if if you please to give me three shillings, you shall make your meale on them; thou art an honest fellow (quoth Marriot) and shalt have it: So up they went to a Roome where no light had ever been seen, save Candle-light, and stunck worse then the Shambles Excre­ments, or the Bear-garden. His Client not able to endure their na­sty accommodation, would have departed, and at the Bell Tavern have stayed for him: but Marriot would not permit it, saying, Sola­men miseris socios habuisse doloris. Up came the meate, not ordered in severall Dishes, but clapt together in the Tray, as it stood upon the Stall; but whether it was to blunt the edg of his Stomack, or for want of dishes, is disputable; but Marriot to shew he feared no colours For the meat had all. fell on Pell, mell, and so defeated, or vanquished three of the pie­ces, the whole body being but sixe, but of such mixtures, as an Army made up of Switzers, French, Dutch, Spanyards, &c. So this hodg­podge of Veale, Mutton, Porke, Beefe, and so forth. The In plain Eng­lish a Dirty cloath or Rag. Maudlin of the house perceiving how magnanimously he went on, and fearing the spoil of the rest, ran down to her Master, & told him that the De­vill was come in the likeness of a Lawyer, and had eaten three of the biggest pieces, and was endangering the other. The fellow Fearing nei­ther God nor Devill. ranne up stairs, but before hee came, Marriot had made an end of two of them, and was ready to fall upon the other: You Dogg quoth the [Page 5]fellow, and seized on the Tray and the remaining piece of meate; You Rascall quoth Marriot, give me the meate: Sirrah (quoth the fellow) beest thou the Devill or his Dam, I will have money for the meate thou hast eaten, Maudlin fetch me a Constable, at which his Client was ready to burst with laughter, you Knave (quoth Marriot) I will not give thee a penny till I have had my bargain, you shall know sirrah who I am, and that I will straight quoth the fellow, and at him he flies, Sir (quoth Marriot) bear witnesse, I am a Lawyer, the Devil's in the Lawyer then (quoth the fellow) and I will beate him out of thee: Down falls Marriot, his Client not able to endure longer, makes his way towards the stairs, thinking to make up the sportby his leaving them; but the stairs being dark, downe tumbles his Clyent, in comes Maudlin with the Constable, the Constable sei­zes on the Gentleman, immediately Marriot was heard to cry out, the Constable secured the Gentleman, and then went up, where he found Marriot's hat off, his Gowne over his Ears Note the An­tiquity of them., and his Blew bree­ches discovered, Blesse me quoth the Constable, what have we here? A distressed Gentleman (quoth Marriot) thou lyest (quoth the fel­low) thou art no Gentleman, His Gentility questioned. for if thou wert thou wouldst pay me for my meat; sirrah sirrah quoth Marriot, thou art a Knave, I will make thee stand to thy bargain, thou shalt be hang'd first, and at him he flies againe: come, cries the Constable, a Justice of Peace shall end this difference, with all my heart quoth the fellow, and mine too (quoth Marriot,) I can shew my face where thou darest not thine. So downe the Constable had them, to goe before the Justice, but his Client being unwilling to appeare further in the businesse, offered to pay the fellow for his meate: As I am a Christian (quoth Marriot) but you shall not, I will have out my bargain, or I will not pay him a penny for his meate. What was the bargain, quoth the Constable, I was to make a meale on his meate (quoth Marriot) for three shillings, and he has eaten me five pieces (quoth the fel­low) as bigge He shews the piece. as this, and would have this too. The Constable laughed heartily, and told Marriot it was a shamefull thing, and most unreasonable. I am a Lawyer (quoth Marriot) and know 'tis no shamefull thing for a Man to eate his Were there more ont. meate. Sirrah (quoth the fel­low) it was none of thine, I will be paid for it, and so to a Justice they went: The Constable there opened the matter to the Justice, Marriot pleaded his bargain, the Fellow made his defence, and said, he thought he had bargained with a Man, but he proved a Monster, It is all one for that (quoth Marriot) a bargain is a bargain, and I will have right if there be any Justice As though he doubted it. in the Kingdom. The Justice (being of Gotam breed) checkt the fellow, & told him that a bargain was a bargain, Every foole can speak as he is taught. and he would recover it against him, and therefore ordered the fellow (for preventing his future trouble) to restore Mar­riot [Page 6]the other piece of meate, and to take his three shillings for full satisfaction. Well (quoth the fellow) if it must be so, hee shall eate it in my sight, and the Devill doe him good with it: Good reason too, quoth the Justice, but not in my house (quoth the fellow) I'le see him hangd first: I care not where I eate it (quoth Marriot) and yet I'le eate it where I please: Not so neither quoth the Justice, you must eate it where the bargain was made. Oh good your Worship (quoth the fellow) punish me not so, unlesse you Order him to call for drink proportionable: Well Sir, (quoth the Justice) give him twelve pence more, and eate it where you please Sir, I'le eate it in the street first quoth Marriot; away, away, quoth his Client, it shall be so, we but trespasse upon this Gentlemans patience, friend deliver him his bargaine, and thou shalt have foure shillings, that's twelve pence more then my bargain (quoth Marriot) it goes neer my heart to give it him. They departed from the Justices, and returned to the Cooks Cell-doore, for into it he was not to be admitted, the meate was brought forth, the money paid, and Marriot put the meat in his sleeve 'Twas not the first time he had done so.: Sirrah sirrah, quoth Marriot, I shall know you for a Knave hereafter, and shun thy house as I would a Prison. Bridewell is fir­ter for you then a civill house, quoth the fellow, and set the boyes at him, that Marriot became in danger, which his Client perceiving, slunk through Stevens Alley, and left him to the mercy of the boyes. Marriot observing the multitude to increase, and fearing lest hee should loose his meate in the combustion, stalked His usuall pace. along the street, sometimes snapping at the meate, and sometimes at the boyes: Be quiet children, quoth he, I am a man In his owne conceit., and shall— then he swal­lowes downe a peice as big as his fist, and that is of no small size, till by degrees he had made an end of it all, without the help of bread or drink, and so laughing at the boyes and his fancy of secu­ring his meate from them, kept on his Pace with the boyes at his heeles, till hee came to his Lodging, and there received his first shout and acclamation to be no Innes of Court Dumplin, but a man of a large Colon.

CHAP. III. Marriots second Encounter, with his voyding a Worme.

MR. Marriot being invited to Dinner to a private house by some Gentlemen, was met in the street by some other Gentlemen, who observing how he sweat with going an unusuall pace, apprehended that he was upon some de­sign of meeting, alias eating, and his hast betrayed his feares of co­ming too late, and so they having a disposition for mirth, resolved to stay his Journey. Mr. Marriot (quoth one of them) why so fast? I pray Sir forbeare (quoth Marriot) my business is of concernment, the state of your body I warrant quoth the other Gentleman: Sir (quoth Marriot) pray let me goe Marriot be­gins to be an­gry., what hast, what hast, quoth the Gentleman: Well Gentlemen quoth Marriot, you may do me more harm in an houre, then you will do me good in ten, how know you that (quoth the other) You are a Man of good Intelligence, Mr. Marriot, what News, what Newes? I have no more to do with News then Newes hath to do with me (quoth Marriot) pray let me Oh to see his face now. goe. Suppose (quoth one of them) I should bring you Newes of a Din­ner, were there any harme in it? Marriot lickt his lips, and said, pray Gentlemen do me not thus much preiudice, there are some that stay for me: What to do (sayes the Gentlemen) this is Vacation time, you have not Law Suits to follow, and held him fast by the Wrist, Marriot began to You cannot blame him. strive, at which the people that flocked about him laughed heartily. Gentlemen (quoth Marriot) I pray let me goe, or I'le call a Constable: To call a Constable you mean (quoth the Gentlemen) and therefore 'tis best keeping you here, with that the People laughed out-right, why good people, good people, quoth Marriot, will you let a Gentleman be thus obstructed in his Occasi­ons? What are your Occasions Mr. Marriot (quoth one of them) are they urgent? I, in truth are they quoth Marriot; what, in matter of Dinner quoth the Gentlemen? You have the right of it Gentle­men (quoth Marriot) as I am a Christian: Why seriously (quoth one of them) nothing but your Stomack If that will not, I know not what will. should part us. I protest Gen­tlemen (quoth Marriot) I lye not. The Gentlemen having had mirth sufficient with him, lets loose his Wrist; which no sooner done, but Marriot takes his run as fast as his heavy heels could carry him, At which all the People gave a shout, and the boyes after him. At last Marriot reached the place appointed, where he was no sooner entered, but he comes first in the Kitchin, and finding his Deten­tion had wronged him much, the last Course being ready to goe in, [Page 8]fell upon a bowle of cold Creame that stood on the Dresser, and di­spatched it in the twinkling of a Gloworm. The last Course going in, he enters with it, and there to the Gentlemen he relates the rea­son of his stay. Alack (quoth the Gentlemen) you have done your selfe a great deale of wrong, Mr. Marriot, and us too. Nay quoth Mr. Marriot, I have not done it, but the Knaves that held me in the Street, but I hope I shall recover the time I have lost to all your Contents, and so fell on a dozen of Pigeons, and a leaze of suck­ing Rabbets; which having devoured (to the wonder of the behol­ders) quoth he, Gentlemen, I doe not like this pidling dishes, have you no substantiall Beefe or Mutton left in the house, and so what was remaining, was brought in, which he as easily destroyed as the other, and was ready for more: But Marriot being over-heated with coming, and falling first on the cold Cream, and drinking sudden­ly after it, found such quarrelling in his Guts, that he was unable to sit longer at Table, and before he could get from thence, shewed some testimony of his loose Condition, to the prejudice of all their Noses there present. His Vocative case made the Gentlemen weary of his Company; and finding him worse and worse, they caused a Porter to be called for, and bargained with him to lead him to his Lodging; but before the Porter got halfe way, he was so strong of Monsieur Sir Reverence, that he was not to be endured. The Por­ter espying a fellow with a Wheelbarrow, called him, and told him the Gentleman was sick, and if he would carry him home, he would be very well paid for his paines, for hee was a Person of Quality. The fellow with hopes of profit, was armed against Senior le Faugh, and takes him in, and carries his Worship, but see his fate! he was unhappily carried that way where the Gentlemen had made sport with him in the Morning, so that the Shop-keepers and Boys, espy­ing him in that case, ran out and cryed, The great Eater has over­eaten himself; to whom Marriot stil cryed, good Christians forbear, and do not mocke a dying man, ha quoth the Boyes, This is the great Eater of Grays Inne: A pox upon you quoth the Wheelbarrow fellow, art thou the Cormorant? I would have seen you hang'd (had I knowne so much) before you should have come into my Barrow; Out, out, in the Devils Name, it is no charity to preserve thy life: And so out poor Marriot was thrown in a pittifull pickle; oh quoth Marriot, is there no Christian-minded People among you? At last two women Tankerd-bearers, took pitty of him, had him into a house, and washed him, and at Night was led to his Lodging, where he was no sooner sate downe, but he was taken as though he had quick silver in his guts, and nothing would satisfie him but a Doctor, who almost as soon as sent for, came. Alas (quoth the Doctor) Mr. Mar­riot, you have taken a surfeit with eating too much; fye, [...]ye (quoth [Page 9] Marriot) Sir, you are mistaken, I could have eaten thrice as much: You must take a Purge quoth the Doctor, I purge too much alrea­dy quoth Marriot, I quoth the Doctor, but this proceeds from the malignity of the Cause, the effect of which being taken away, this purging ceaseth. Say you so Sir (quoth Marriot) pray use me well, and let me have it as soone as possible, you shall have it made ready to night (quoth the Doctor) fit to take to morrow, I shall dye before quoth Marriot; why then quoth the Doctor, you shall have it to take to night, and so went his wayes to make ready the Purge, which being finished, Marriot received, and a while before he went to bed, tooke it; about two hours after his being abed, it began to work, and at last he felt a long thing come from him, at sight whereof hee cryed out, oh the Devil, the Devil, whereupon all the house was di­sturbed. The Doctor was sent for, who, when he saw the Worme, told him that it was a Worme that had long time bred in his body, and would have come to a more perfect growth, had not that acci­dent of eating the cold Creame (which is an Enemie to those kinde of Wormes) and drinking suddenly after it, curdled it, and so suffo­cated and killed the Worme; for which resolvement, Mr. Marriot gave him not only thanks, but payed him for his Purge, and to this day keeps the Worme (dryed up) in his Chamber, which was then about three yards long. But it is conceived by the Wise, that it left behind at that time, young ones, which are grown to a greater big­nesse, as may appeare by the growth of his Stomack, but whether it be or not, Time and such another Surfeit will produce, and untill which time you must have patience.

CHAP. IV. How the Lord Grandison served Mr. Marriot at Madam Pikes, and how afterward caused him to fright the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury, and what happened.

BY this time Marriot was grown Famous in his Art, insomuch, that happy was that Noble person that could get him to make sport. It hapned that the Lord Grandisons Coach passing by the New Exchange, when his Footman espyed Mr. Marriot walking alone, he soone acquainted his Lord therewith, who being merrily disposed, sent for him, and desired him to come into the Coach to him, and now he has him to Madam Pikes, where was good Wine, and [Page 10]such knacks as Lords use to have: But Mr. Marriot began to be an­gry, saying, I hope you have not brought me hither to look only on taftaty Tarts, or a dish of Coxcombs: My Lord, this is not meate for me, I love Beefe, Mutton, Veale, or Pork, that is meate which will endure some cutting: I pray my Lord set by your Ferboon Kickshaws: Mr. Marriot, said my Lord, you shall first drinke your belly full; Marriot being unwilling, yet at the last, in hopes of meate, took up his cups handsomely, but his brain being weake, was soon drunke. My Lord Grandison sends for a Ba [...]ber to shave all the haire off his beard; which being done, they got a large loose Gowne, and pulled off his owne Cloaths, and put the Gowne on him, with Head-cloaths and Apron, dressing him like a Bawd. Mar­riot being so drunk that he knew not what they did, was in this shape led to the Coach, and thence he was carried to White-Hall, where being conveyed to a Chamber, through which the Bishop of Canter­bury was to passe, they let him in a Chaire, and left him; The Arch-Bishop coming through the roome, starts at the sight of him, saying to his Gentleman-Usher, I do much wonder how this drunken Wo­man should come here; Marriot being not full afleep, said, I am no Woman, I am a Man, and a Lawyer; the Bishop much wondring at him, assured himselfe that some body had put him in that place to affront him, and now begins to question Marriot, who for his part was not able to speak for himselfe: but my Lord Grandison stept into the roome, and ended the controversie, by sending Marriot away, telling the Bishop that he came so disguised only to aske pardon for his faults: The Bishop was angry at his saying, but could not helpe himselfe. My Lord Grandison gave Marriot a suite of Cloaths for his pains, which to this day, though greasie, are to be seen on his backe, and is very loath to leave them, for the very fancy of the pastimes he had in them.

CHAP. V. How Marriot eate a Gammon of Bacon, and would not pay for it, and had like to have been stoned.

Mr. Marriot desirous to see Bartholomew Fair, went up Hosier Lane, and there espyed a Gammon of Bacon set forth on the Stall (as the Custom is at Fares) which put him in mind of Eating. So Marriot walks gravely and soberly in, and asketh the woman of the house to shew a Room; which being done, quoth Marri­ot to the woman, I saw Bacon in your Shop, and marry that is there [Page 11]quoth the Woman, and the very best in all the Fare Ile assure you. A man may have a cut at it (quoth Marriot) I hope, and pay for it, may he not? I blessing on your heart quoth the Woman, and spare not. Gramercy quoth Marriot, thou seemest to be a good body; do you want any Company Sir, quoth the Woman, here is They were Whores. Gentlewo­men in the house Berlady (which is indeed the onely furniture of all Fares) No quoth Marriot J thanke thee Woman, not at this time, prithee fetch thy Bacon. The woman brought her Bacon, quoth she blessing on your good heart Sir, fall on and spare not, which speech (as J take it) shee might have spared, for he was resolved to that without her Counsell. The Woman was scarce returned into the Shop, but Marriot had drunk up his single pot of Beere, eate two Rolls, and pickt the very bones of the Bacon, which had had but a small slice cut off it before: Marriot comes into the Shop, quoth he J have quickely done, so it seems Sir quoth shee; there is twelve pence for thy Bacon quoth he, J will come another time and be mer­ry with thee: God blesse you Sir quoth she, and send you well to do, the woman not thinking he had eaten all, and being busied in her Shop, could not presently goe to see what spoile had been made, thought her self well paid, and Marriot went his ways into the Fare; but it so happened that Marriot came that way back, and the wo­man having found out the Deceit, was cursing him deeply, and call­ing him all the names that could be. At last she espyed Marriot, oh there is the Rogue quoth shee that eate up my whole Gammon of Bacon, and hath undone me, J will be the death of him, thou Rogue quoth shee, pay me for my Bacon: Why Woman, Woman, quoth Marriot, have patience, did not J pay thee twelve pence: A pox up­on you for a Gormandizing Knave, is twelve peace enough for a large Gammon of Bacon? Goe goe, you are a huswife, quoth Mar­riot, and would have had me been naught in thy house; Thou lyest like a whorson Knave quoth the Woman, and at him she flew: But Marriot was made too strong with her Bacon for her to overcome, and so downe shee came, you Jade quoth he, J'le make you know your selfe. Murder, murder, quoth the Woman, out you great Rogue quoth the boyes, will you beate a woman? and so they threw stones at him. Marriot seeing company flock about him, and every one had a fling at him, took his runne, and the boyes hooting after him, till he came neere his Lodging, where he was rescued by the Porters in Grayes-Inne Lane.

CHAP. VI. How Mr. Marriot was invited to Dinner, and how he conveyed meate away, but met with Stump the Wine-pot Carrier of the Fleece in Holborn, and of the terrible Battle fought between them.

MAster Marriot was invited to the Globe Tavern in Chancery Lane by some Gentlemen to Dinner, upon a Wager, that hee should not destroy the Dinner that was provided for themselves. Mr. Marriot came according to their invitation, and was welcomed, and bid fall too, which Marriot was as ready to do, as they to desire, and on he fell, drawing his dreadfull Knife, and laying about him as he had been madde, to the speedy destruction of the Dinner; whereat the Compan [...] laughed, and said, why Gramercy Mr. Marriot, you shew your selfe free from Deceit; but Marriot it seems had been at it some where else a little before, that had stop­ped up some of his Chinks, and so could not devour all but because they should take no Exceptions, hee clearely conveyed the remain­der into his false bagg which he had about him for the purpose, that none could discover his slight of hand but such another Hocus Pocus as himself. The Gentlemen became heartily merry at his Leger de Fons, & drank to him: but Marriot: being weary of drinking as wel as eating, made his excuse to go down to exercise his Posteriors, which they granted him, and desired his return: but he no sooner was got­ten down, but homeward he goes with more then his ordinary pace, and in Grayes Inne met with Stump (so called because of his Wooden leg) quoth Stump, how now you Monstrum Lame Latine. Morendum, where have you been, and pulled him by the sleeve, and clapping him about the Breeches and Pockets, felt something more then ordinary, at which Marriot called him Rascall, and pulled his Bag forth: Oh sirrah, quoth Stump, what Beggar-woman have you robbed, ha? or hast thou taken it out of the Prisoners Basket: You Rascall, quoth Mar­riot, I will breake thy bones; goe, goe, quoth Stump, thou art a ra­venous hound, and fitter to be hang'd, then to live; with that Mar­riot strikes Stump, and Stump strikes Marriot, till both lay on the ground. Marriot's Ruffe was torne by Stump, and Stump's wooden leg was broke; the scraps or fragments of the Feast were throwne a­bout, and Stump lay on the ground, not able to rise for want of his leg. Marriot thought he had been revenged enough on Stump, ga­thers up his pieces of meate, and goes his way: You Rogue, you [Page 13]Rogue, quoth Stump, could I but follow you, J would mall your Ugly hide for you; but Marriot kept on his Pace, and minded him not, and Stump at last by the helpe of a Porter, was carryed to the Joyners, and there had his leg set right again, and so went about his businesse.

CHAP. VII. How Marriot was sent for downe to a Knights house, and how he was served there.

A Knight living in Kent, having many Gallants at his house in the Christmas time, could not have sport enough he thought to give them Entertainment: And still studying and invent­ing for fresh mirth to make them laugh, at last it came in his head to send to London for Mr. Marriot, on purpose that his friends might be the more heartily Merry, which as soone as thought upon, the Knight put in practice, and calling his Man to him, gave him 20. s. and commanded him to saddle a couple of Horses, and make all the hast be could to London, and deliver this Letter to Mr. Marriot, you will heare of him in Grayes-Inne Lane, and desire him not to faile to come along with you to me. The Letter was as followeth,

THe Knight having dispatched his Servant, went in to his Com­pany, and told them that he had sent for one that would make them all heartily merry, and be hoped shortly to have him there; [Page 14]the Gentleman's friends enquired what he was, quoth the Knight, did you ever heare of one Marriot of Grayes-Inne? who Marriot the Great Eater quoth one of them? the very same replyed the Knight, troth and he will make good sport indeed quoth one of them; what is he quoth another? he does pretend to the Law quoth the Gentle­man, but is he so great an Eater said another? you shall see that when he comes quoth the Knight. The fellow followed his directi­ons given him, and just as he was enquiring for Mr. Marriot, a Cob­ler in Grayes-Inne Lane shewed the Servant t [...]e Man, who was cour­sed by Boyes, he coming from F [...] Lane with the foure heinges of a Sheep on his Arme, and three Bullocks Livers in a string on the o­ther Arme, jeering him with the Loyne of Mutton he had borrowed, hook, and all in Westm [...]nster. The servant began to suspect that his Master had a plot to have him beaten, perceiving such a tumult following the Man he was sent too, hee being but a raw Countrey fellow; but Marriot at last got into the house, and the boyes after a great shout departed. They were no sooner gone, but the Country fellow tooke upon him the Courage (which he durst not before Seeing his ea­ger Looks.) to come up towards Marriots Lodging, and there very valiently knocked, and desired to speak with Mr. Marriot, the servant of the house told him he was newly gone up, but he would call him if the fellow pleased to come in, which he did, and was directed to go up to him in a little Chamber; The fellow knocked softly, but unawares to Marriot, who hastily coming forth with an Apron before him like a Butcher: Friend, quoth Marriot, would you speak with me, yes Sir, said he, I have a Letter for you, and so gave him the Letter; Which Marriot having read, and being tickled with the Conceit of so good Entertainment, pulled off his Apron, and made his Apology for having it on, saying, Friend, I am but a lone Man, and there­fore dres [...] my meate my selfe, which makes me appeare thus uncouth, but I wi [...] [...]im my selfe up presently, On goes his purple Robes. and along with you I will go, his meate he put into a Barrell wherein was sowre small Ale, to the end it might be well soused against his returne, and so began to fit himselfe for the Journey, He first pulled out a paire of shooes (for thicknesse may be three paire) out of a hole, as for Bootes he had none; Then he tooke great care for a Sword, and at last got an old rusty Hanger of the Cutler over against his Lodging, He would not stay to have a Frienge set on. and for a Belt, cut an old Leather paire of Breeches, which had been some Paviers, into severall pieces, and tyed the ends together, and so the Gallant was ready for his Journey, and went along with the Countrey fel­low to the place where the Horses stayed; and being come, quoth the fellow, Sir, I thinke it very wholsome to take a Repase or so of meate before we set forward; with all my heart quoth Marriot, I ap­prove of your good motion, and so Marriot went to bespeak Break­fast, [Page 15]which was halfe a dozen pound of Sausages, and a stewed Loin of Mutton, which was immediately got ready, and brought in, quoth the fellow, sure Sir here's too much; be not deceived Friend, quoth Marriot, I warrant thee thou wilt find no such thing, but ra­ther too little, and so they fell too, As it appeared by the fellowes share. but before the fellow got one Sausage downe, Marriot had eaten a pound, which made the fellow stare. How now, quoth Marriot, what think you now? think quoth the fellow, I think I shall get nought for my money. The Sausages being dispatched, he fell on the stewed Mutton, nay quoth the fel­low, Sir, pray give me leave to come into play with you; but Mar­riot so ordered the business, that the fellow had but a small Break­fast. Marriot laughed heartily to see the fellow looke so at him, and said, alas honest Friend, thy Master sends for me to make him sport, and I shall do it I warrant him: This Breakfast is but a pidling Col­lation to stay my Stomack, I could have put him to greater charge if I had been so minded, but I reserve that till I come to his house. Well Sir, quoth the fellow, I commend you, you have a good stroke with your Teeth. Hark you Friend, quoth Marriot, I know it is your Masters will that I shall be at no charges, and therefore pay the Reckoning, & let us be going; Well if it must be so, it must be so, He wanted a Ladder. quoth the fellow, & so called for the horses to be brought forth. The horses being brought forth, Marriot endeavoured to get up on his, but the weight of his posteriors, and the goutinesse of his shooes hindered him, so that the fellow laughed, and took down the stirrup Lea­thers to let in his ugly hoofs, and then shouldered the Great Booby into the Saddle: Oh quoth Marriot, I hope the Horse trots not! I am but a bad Rider, and therefore pray ride faire and softly, and so on they went to their Journeyes end.

CHAP. VIII. How Marriot was entertained by the Knight, and the sport they had with him.

THE Knight hearing that Mr. Marriot was come, went out to meet him, where Marriot was unbinding his shooes and stockings, and vviping them with a wispe of straw, the Knight bid him welcome, and asked him how he did, I tha [...]k you Sir quoth Marriot, I am very well, but your splattering Nagge hath done my Shooes and Stockings a shillings worth of harme, I will make you reparations for any harme my horse hath done you, and therefore pray walke in, Mr. Marriot, walke in, and dry your selfe, [Page 16]there is a good sire in the Kitchin: So going to the Fire with him, bid him sit down, a Chair was brought him, and he sate down, and then the Knight bid the Butler fetch a bottle of Sack, and drank to Mr. Marriot, I thank you Sir, quoth Marriot, fill him a Beer-glasse quoth the Knight, I thank you Sir quoth Marriot, I had rather eate then drink; Supper will be ready streight quoth the Knight, Tom, Cook, make hast with it, all the hast that possible can be (Sir) said the Cooke. Come Mr. Marriot (quoth the Knight) I have some Friends within would gladly enjoy your Company, shall we into the Par­lour? I am at your Commandment Sir, quoth Marriot, and with a Spanyards stately gate, he paced into the Parlour after the Knight, but his hobbled shoes made such a Noyse, that the Knight looked stil behind him, thinking his Malt horse had followed him. The Gen­tlemen, made their Civill Salute to Mr. Marriot, the Ladies fell a gigling at his Clouted shooes, what (quoth Marriot) Ladies are you laughing already? what will you do anon? by Lakins you shall have laughing enough Gallants, why that is well said Mr. Marriot quoth the Knight, pray take notice of my Friends, these are Gentlemen and Ladies of the Countrey, and such as may merrit your friend­ship Mr. Marriot, I am theirs, I am theirs, quoth Marriot, but your Rascally Cooke methinks stayes something long, fye on these delaies, I would he had as good a Stomack as I, The Knight would not have kept him then for five hundred pounds a yeare. and then J am sure he would make more hast of Supper. Fear not Mr. Marriot quoth the Knight, it will come immediately, and so gave Order to make all the hast he could. Sir, quoth one of the Gentlemen, what Newes at Lon­don? J seldome talke before Meales quoth Marriot, after Supper J am for you: With that one of the Ladies stept towards him, J pray Sir (quoth shee) were you ever married? What to do Lady (quoth Marriot) what to do, is Supper coming yet? J perceive (quoth the Lady) you have more mind on your Supper then on a Wife. Why truly (quoth Marriot) a Wife is but an unnecessary Dish, and may serve to come well as the last Course, and so to be served last (quoth the Lady) well, then be pleased to receive your Idoll (which was the meate newly brought in) and that I shall, quoth Marriot, you shall see willingly. Downe they sate; quoth Marriot, Gentlemen, let no Man have more manners then will do him good; for my part, I see the meate before me, and if any man has a better Stomack let him shew it, I am not ashamed of mine, and so Gallants, by your leave, which was the word to be given, and thereupon Marriot fell upon the Spoile, and made havocke of what e're came before him, that the Cooke had much ado to make Dishes ready for the Ta­ble so fast as he was ready for them; but there was no scarcity, the which Marriot tooke Notice of, said, Sir I perceive you keep a good house, the like plenty be in it for ever. Amen (quoth one of the [Page 17]Ladies softly) but keep thee from it good Lord I beseech thee. I know the reason now Sir (quoth another Lady) why you will not marry; good Lady quoth Marriot, spare your talking, I shall finde time enough to play when my worke is done. It being Christmas time, as well Great as little Pyes were set before him: Quoth Mar­riot, as for your Diminitive Pies, I shal spare them, because they are not worth my Anger; but as for the Towring Wals of the Goose and Turkie one, let them expect Demolishing, and so placed his En­gines of Bartery against them, and not admitting any Parley, made his Breaches suddenly, and so desperately, one would have thought him a stout Engineer. Now the Ladies begin to look one upon ano­ther with pittiful Countenances, one of them setting all the mear and Pies that were unrouted in Battaile row, to hold him in Play while they rose They feared he would eate them. from the Table. The Gentlemen that were present laughed heartily to see the Ladies in this feare, and whispered them not to be so simple to think he vvould doe them any harme; vvhy quoth one of the Ladies, the Devill certainely is in him, and one so possest cares not vvhat hee does; troth He trust him not quoth shee, nor I neither, quoth another, and rose from the Table, and the rest of the Ladies with them, and went to the fire, where they did at a safe distance behold the dreadfull strokes he gave, how he layd on vvithout mercy, as men placed on Hills, through Prospe­ctives, behold vvhole Armies fighting, and yet themselves in no danger: The Gentlemen vvould not rise from Table till Marriot had made an end of the spoyle, and could rise tryumphant: Mar­riot having filled every Chink in his unsatiate gutts, gave the fi­nishing stroke and rose up, and sayd, Sir Knight thanke you for my Supper; Gramarcy Horse quoth one of the Ladies, you might have sayd for ten Suppers: He comes towards us, quoth another Lady, let us be gone, good novv lets be gone; let him be hanged quoth another Lady, never feare him, his anger is over novv, it is the ugliest thing, quoth shee, that ever Dunghill produced: it grovving towards bed-time, some partly in feare of him, and o­thers to accompany them, left the Gentlemen vvith Marriot and retired to their Chambers, vvhere their tongues vvere so imploy­ed in deliniating Marriots parts, that one of the Ladies cryed out, For Heavens sake talke no more on him, vvould I had touched the Monster, for I dare say I shall dreame of him: The Gentlemen perceiving that Marriot vvas more a lover of the Kitchin then the Buttery, and vvas not company vvorth a Louse, save for his Ma­gicall Art of eating; resolved before they vvent to Bed to Souce all the meate he had Earrelled up in his Paunch, if all the Drink in the Buttery vvould doe it, and there vvas good store: Marriot vvith much intreaty vvas dravvne to the Buttery, but not vvith [Page 18]halfe the willingnesse a Beare is to the Stake, healths past about, Gentlemen what mean you quoth Marriot, my guts will hold no more, but they plyed him so nimbly with mixed Drinks, that Mar­riot having but a weake head, was knockt down with drink, and so to his Chamber they went with him, and gave him the parting cup, which being unable to take, he tumbled into Bed like a Boare into his Sty, where no sooner entred but you might heare by his snorting how safe and secure he was: And so the Gentlemen left him to the mercy of his Fate, and so went to consult how they might make sport the next day with him; and having laid their Plot handsomly, the next day they put it in practise, which is set down in the next ensuing Chapter.

CHAP. IX. How they make Marriot beleive that he is poysoned, and what happened.

THE Gent. being to give their Verdits what should be done with Marriot, but none of their Projects were worth mentioning to this of the Knights, which only was put in practise, as thus; the Knight said, I have a Butler that is a good Taylor, and I will set him to work presently, so he caused one of his Servants to fetch Marriots Cloaths down, which being done, sets his Butler to take in his Dublet of each side, so much as he should not be able to button it, and likewise his Breeches; now being so neatly done that none could suspect it, his Cloaths were laid by his Bed again, and all the Servants were charged not to say any thing of it, This Doctor was one of the Gentlemen that was in the House. but to perswade him that he was much swelled, and that without doubt he was poysoned, and to tell him that there was a Doctor in the House that could cure him if there were but the least hope of life in him; so every one that was confederate in this businesse, was instructed how to carry themselves, and for this night they go to Bed, some not sleeping, to think how the Proiect would work, passed away the time with other discourse, and so till Morning, He wondred to see his Cloaths so lit­tle. which time they long expected; all being in a readinesse in the Morning to wait Marriots rising from his nest, which at laste he did with the gesture of a Mad-man, thinking ab­solutely he had been poysoned, and being perswaded by the Ser­vants [Page 19]of the House, that it was nothing but poyson could make him so; Sir said one of the Servants, here is a Doctor in the House, and if you please I will call him, without doubt he will cure you: He mends the matter. Oh said Marriot if you look to see me a live man, make no stay but go fetch the Doctor, I hope he is not kin to Balams Asse, which will not speake without he sees an Angell: Sir said he, Marriot had but little mony. this Doctor is so much a Gent. that he will not expect the least reward from you that may be, away away, fetch him quickly or I dye, the Servant goes pre­sently to the Doctors Chamber, who as much desired to be sent for, The Servant needs not tell the Doctor his Errant. Hee feels his Pulses The Doctor prescribes him a Broath to drink. He was a Mountebanck. You may read of the making of this Broath. in his Distillato­ry. as Marriot did his coming; who when he came to Mr. Marriots Chamber saluted him, and told him that by some Accedent he had received Poyson into his Body, that was of that subtle Nature, that would not make him sick to the inward Vitals, but only swell out­wardly for the present, but if not prevented would kill him im­mediately: But I will cause a Broath to be made for you present­ly, that is as famous as Mounsicure Puentes antedote for expelling Poysons; Marriot gives him many thanks for his Care, and de­sires him that the Broath might be made out of hand, the Broath being made, the Doctor gave him strait charge not to take above three spoonfuls in an houres time, this was a griefe to Marriot to see his allowance so small: For the whole quart was no more in his Belly then a Man in Pauls; This was his griefe that by spoonfuls he must be fed, and to eate no other thing: It being now Dinner time, the Knight to torment Marriot, desired him to come and sit in the Parler to passe away time, Marriot thought it would be some ease to him, went with the Knight, who caused his Broath to be set by him, that as occasion did serve, to give a taste to his mouth, but when Dinner was set on the Table, oh Reader had you but seen his Countenance and Gesture, you would have admired to see a sick man lay violent hands on all sorts of Meate, A good Sign in a sick man, when he has a coming Sto­mack. You would have thought he had plaid Hocus Pocus with it. and had eaten it, had not his Doctor with many intreaties desired him to the con­trary, and promising him that he would give him Meate which would digest with him, made him forbeare now to satisfie his greedy Appetite; the Doctor gave him the wing of a Pullet, which the Doctor did desire him to mince very small, but in the twinkling of an eye was vanished, and desired the Doctor to let him have some more meat; the Doctor more willing to please the Company with his Actions, then to fill his ungodly Stomack, dismembred a Fowle of his quarters to give Marriot the Carkas to pick, say­ing, Sir eate as little as you can for to day, and to morrow you may eate your belly full, for then the danger will be past: Marriots Bel­ly having more eares then his head, gave little heed to what the Doctor said, but fell to his Carkas, that he made both Meate and Bones Invisible. Saying, Sir, you Dyet me as if I had the Pox, but if I once get [Page 20]out of your hands, They are never good that mind their bellies so much. Ile never come under a Doctor again, I think no Physick like Kitchin Physick, but Dinner being ended which was a griefe to Marriot, the Doctor caused him to go to his Chamber, for feare of taking cold, saying, He would not forget him at Sup­per, if you do said Marriot I shall remember you, I make no doubt of it said the Doctor, now taking his leave of Marriot, he went down to the Knight, to plot more mischiefe on poor Marriots Body, which you shall heare in the next Chapter.

CHAP. X. How Marriot Supped, and how the Butler made him drunk, and after took away his Doublet, letting it out to its old shape, and how he eate a Bitch baked in a Pye the next day.

IT being now Supper time, the pretended Doctor sent Marriot up a Chicken rosted, and bid the Servant tell him that he might drink a glasse of Sack after it, Marriot did not stay for a Knife but puld it a peices, throwing it down his throat without chawing, that those Servants that stood by him, thought he took it to be a sin to bite his Meate: Marriot desired the Servant to give him some Sack, he answered that he must go to the Butler for it, He need not to intice him to eate or drinke. Marriot bid him go speedily, the Butler brought a Bottle which did hold a p ottle of Sack up to Marriot, and said, Sir, I heard the Doctor say, that old Wine was excellent good for you, and would do you much good, and I have brought you that's right, come said Marriot let's taste it, I think you to be the best Doctor when all's done, the Butler fills him a Tankord of Sack, which he soon turnd off, saying, Tis good Sack indeed, but give me the other Draught, and then my Stomack will be warme, after he had drank he said to the Butler, Friend have you no cold meate in your Buttery, you would much comfort me, A good signe in a sick man. for I am hungry even to Death: The Butler answered, I have some Fragments of rost beefe and powdred beefe and such things, which was left at Supper, and if you will accept of that I will fetch it, I, I, said Marriot any thing that is flesh the Butler fetcht up a Basket as if he had been to distribute a Dole to poor Folk, when Marriot saw the Meate, like a man over [Page 21]Joyed, laid to the meate and bred, Al's one to him for he had lost his taste. Orange pills and parings of Aples being altogether in the Basket, having now as he thought laid a good Foundation in his Belly: give me some Drink, they gave him Sack, too good for such an ungodly Gut, he not leaving this Basket with any thing in it, said to the Butler, well thou hast saved my life by this meanes, and though my Body be sweld to Night, I hope to Morrow I shall be Iusty, for the very conceit of being poysoned made me feeble: Sir said the Butler, will you be pleased to pledge this Health, its to my Master, The Butler drank Beer. yes said Marriot in a whole Tankard of Sack, I will begin it said the Butler, drinking off his Tankard, and fild it with Sack, which Marriot soon drank off, saying, I am sleepy and would go to Bed, it being ready, they un­dressed him, and laying himselfe in his Bed, said, Put out the Can­dle, for I shall sleep presently; the Butler taking his Dublet and Hose with him, and now having let them out to their old form, he laid them in the place where they were before.

He then went to Bed, looking for the Morning more earnest then a Lawyer would do for a Fee, to have share of the sport which followes in the next Chapter.

CHAP. XI. How Marriot rose in the Morning and eate his Breakfast, and how he was dined with a Pasty, wherein was an old spaid Bitch baked, and what happened.

MArriot having slept as long as he could, knocked for some of the Servants, to bring up a Light to him, for to take To­bacco, one of the Servants brought up a Candle, saying, Sir, it is very earely, and there is no body up but the Cook and my selfe, I hope you will not rise yet, no no said Marriot, I will not disturb you if you are preparing for Dinner, Sir said the Servant, I am heating of the Oven for two Venison Pasties, there is also great store of Provision to be drest for Dinner, go thy wayes said Marriot, leave only the Candle with me; he having a Pipe which held halfe an ounce, smoaked the Room as if wet Straw had been set on fire, but when the Tobacco was out, he resolved to try if his Cloaths would come together, he quickly put it in practise; The [Page 22]Cloaths sitting him as if they had been made for him: I wonder the Devill who would have worne them besides himselfe, now he walks like a new Alderman, looking much on himselfe: was often asayl­ing the Staires, but fearing least he should awake some of the house, did contain himselfe, by walking without his shooes, which had they been on, He might onely have waked the Horses ly­ing over the Stable. most sure the noise would have been such as if a Horse-Mill were going; but what with hunger and joy he takes his Shooes in his hand and discends the Staires, coming to the Kitchin hastily, frighted the Cook almost out of his wits; his Coun­tenance was so terrible, that the Cook thought he would have eaten all the Meate raw; but Marriot said, Friend, I love your Oc­cupation and would not disturb you, Sir, said the Cook, I never use to have lookers on when I am at worke: The man will make you a fire in the Parler, I know Cooks are angry men said Marriot, I shall leave you to your selfe: The Cook was most afraid that Marriot should have seen the Bitch which lay ready to be put into a Pye for him, with Tobacco and other Ingredients, to make the flesh rellish somewhat better then ordinary: Now the Pye being finisht, was set with the rest to bake, the whilst Marriot was not idle, but gave a terrible onset to a great Suffolk Cheese, making both Meate and Parings quickly Invisible; this being but Breakfast meate, or rather a preparative to his Stomack, yet with much dif­ficulty, past out the time till Dinner was ready. Marriot thought the time long, but at length the Knight with his Friends came to see Marriot, who was smoaking the house with his ugly great Pipe, they said Mr. Marriot, what are you mad to come out of your Chamber to catch cold? Sir said Marriot, I was not mad to stay there to be starved both with hunger and cold. They asked him if he thinks his Stomack would serve him to eate a little Venison, no meat comes amisse to me, for I have a good appetite; Dinner coming to the Board broke off the discourse; but not Marriots Stomack: The Ladies also appeared, smiling at his looks, and desire no other [...]port, but to see him eate his Pasty which was provided for him; being all set at Table, Marriot fell to some powdred Beefe, Sir, said the Knight, do not spoyle your stomack, there is more choiser meate provided for you, I thank you Sir, this will serve the mean time; but the Pasties appeare, one for the upper end and one for Marriot, the Knight desired Marriot to feed heartily, do not feare it Sir, for I have been long absent from Victuals, but Ile pay it now; do, do, Mr. Marriot and spare not, for twas provided for you; he presently laid his trusty Blade on the walls of this Pye, The Bitch bee meant. Instead of Rab­bets. that he made it levell to the Plate: Yet after this he fell to six beare Cats, which were presented before him in a Dish, in whose bellies were dissolved a pound of Candles, with the Herb called Spurgs, [Page 23]which without doubt would loosen his Belly to some purpose. But the sport was to come: Now Dinner being ended, many merry discourses past between Mr. Marriot and the young Ladies, but the Maids of the House desired their Lady, that they may have leave to shew one Christmas Gamble, leave being granted them by the Knight and his Lady, the Knight desired to know what it should be, one of the Maids answered thus, Sir, you have been at great expences with Mr. Marriot, and tis time he repaire home­ward, and if you give me free leave, Ile satisfie you, as shall appeare in the next Chapter following.

CHAP. XII. How the Servants of the Knights House served Mar­riot a trick, and sent him going to London.

THE Servant Mayd began, Sirs you shall know this plot is thus; we have got Horse haire cut very small, with bay Salt beat together, which we will strow in his Bed, that being once layd downe he shall never rest in quiet, for his Cloaths shall be sauced a little with the same spice, that he shall think he hath the pocky Itch: The Knight hearing this new project, laughed heartily, saying, Doe what you will, I shall winke at it: Now after a long Supper Marriot was sent to Bed with a Fox at his tayle; now the sport begins, for Marriot was no sooner in the Bed, but he swore it was full of Fleas, stinging most violently that he was not able to lye there any longer, and at last rose, but they had spiced his Cloaths also, which hee having put on, was in a worse condition then before, swearing that he thought it would make him goe mad, they perswade him to sit still, which he was as able to doe as to build a Church, he like a Fencer stood shruging and rigling his Body, that they that were present, could not forbeare laughing, Saying one to the other, now it works: Mar­riot would presently go to the Knight, and acquaint him what tricks his Servants had put on him, the Servants perswaded him to the contrary, but he is resolute, and in a great fury goes out of the Chamber, stamping as if all the Horses were dancing a Caranto, till he came to the Knights chamber Door, where with a hoarce voice he said, Though it have been my goodnesse to spend some [Page 24]idle time with your Worship, and to make you laugh and your friends; I thought I had shewed you sport enough in the day time, to have been a sufficient protection for me at night, and not to be made dance like a halfpenny hot Loafe with q [...]ic [...] silver in it, I shall take my leave of your Worship though it be late, I may finde a Lodging some where: The Knight speaks to Mr. Marriot saying, With the Doggs he may. Sir, be not angry with me, for if I knew who they were that thus have played the Knave with you, J should turn them out of my house for your sake: Marriot was even crying ripe for vexati­on of his misfortune. The Knight commanded his servants to pul of those sheets from the bed, and to lay on fresh, and to give him a Shirt to put on, whilst his own was washed; Marriot gives the Knight many thanks, promising to shew him the uttermost of his skill at any time, so for that Night he went to Bed, and in the Morning he would take his Journy, the Knight gave Mr. Marriot a Peice, to beare his Charges till he came to London, No body would stay him. so Marriot bid them Farewell.

CHAP. XIII. How be departed from the Knights, for to take water for Billings-Gate, and how he eate Oysters there, and what befell him.

A Horse being ready for Mr. Marriot, and another for a Ser­vant to conduct him to Gravesend: The Knight with the rest of the Gentlemen went to see him take horse, for this is the last trick they meant to shew him: They had sadled a Golt that was to be backed, which they knew would throw him: The Ladies were got all to a Gallery, that looked to the Court, assuring themselves of sport: Marriot was now taking leave of them all, and by the help of Steps for the purpose, got up, but the Colt ran backward and rubbed his Leggs against the Walls, sometimes rising before and leaping, Marriot cryes out, I shall fall, hold the Horse, but every one looked on, but none helped him; so at the last down he came tumbling, which made them laugh, nay do not laugh said Marriot, for I might have broken my neck; really said the Knight, He sayd true enough. be not angry with any of us, for we never saw any one fall from his back before; so he commanded another Horse to be [Page 25]fetched for him, pray said Marriot let me see some body on his back, for I am weary of falling, one of the Servants rid the Horse about the Court, I said Marriot, I wish I had rode him first, and then my bones would not have paind me now: Being mounted he took his leave of them, and rod as he was guided to Gravesend, where he took Boate for Billings-Gate, where being come, he saw many Boates which brought Oysters Loaden very full: He said to one of the Masters of the Boate, Friend, what shall I give you to fill my belly full of Oysters, and I will finde Bread, Beer, Oynions, Vineger, and Pepper; Sir said the Boate-man, you shall give me but two shil­lings, and you shall eate till your belly is full, my man also shall help you to open them, I yeild to this bargain said Marriot: Now Marriot discends into the Boate where the Oysters were, sending the Boy for a six penny Loafe, two pennyworth of Oynions, Pepper and Vineger, three Flagons of Beer to wash them down, this is to comfort me said Marriot after all my sorrowes, He speaks to the Boat-man. for J have had ma­ny of late; well be not angry at your Bargain, for I think I shall eate out my two shillings in Oysters, my Stomack is still good, Boy fetch me the other six penny Loafe, and three Flagons of Beer, and I shall have done presently: The Devill do thee good with them, for I do verily beleive that you have eaten three Bushels, thou shalt never escape thus, you may eate what you please, but Ile warrant you shall pay for them before you go out of this Boate: Friend said Marriot I made a bargain with you, and I will make you stand to it; who the Devil will fill your belly with poore Iohn for forty shil­lings, much more with Oysters for two shillings: Friend said Mar­riot I am a Lawyer and can be even with you at sometime or other, what I warrant, you are the great Eater of Grayes-Inne, if you be, He gesses well. o­ver-board you go, for I will not have such gormodizing in my Boate: By the Lord Harry tell me your Name, for Ile know, He is in earn­est. my Name is Marriot Jack, is not his name Marriot that we heard such talk of, yes yes that is his name, well we will throw him into the Thames, and had not some Gentlemen come by, He speaks toone by. without doubt they had put it in practise, but the Gentlemen called Mr. Mar­riot, who flung down the two shillings, and made hast to the Gen­tlemen, saying, I will eate no more Oysters at your Boate, He was out of the Boat first. you keep such a quarrelling for an Oyster or two, well you Doggs, Ile be even with you if you come neer Grayes-Inne.

CHAP. XIV. How Marriot dined at the three Kings, and what happened.

MR. Marriot being now come with the Gentlemen to the three Kings, where were many Gentlemen to Dine, the Gentlemen presented Mr. Marriot as a Rarity among them, saying, It was our Fortune to save this Gentleman out of the Wa­ter this Morning, and for our love he hath graced us with his Com­pany; we saw him merrily at Breakfast with Oysters, they were like to have cost me deare said Marriot, for they threatned to throw me into the River, which without doubt had been, if you had not Countenanced me: I was in dispaire till I saw your sweet Faces, which were more comfort to me at that time, then a Repreive to a Theefe; for I was in almost as much danger: But I thank God and these good Gentlemen, I have escaped their Tyranous Proiect: Well to Dinner Gentlemen, Mr. Marriot pray be no Stranger, but eate heartily, we all came to be merry: I know said Mar­riot, your Mirth much lyes in me, but my Stomcak is almost spoyld, and I will not be laughed at, for my ill work-manship, well Mr. Marriot do your best and it shall suffice, for we will presse nothing on you; Marriot fell upon the powdred Beefe, then to a leg of Pork: Hens and Capons were of such light digestion, that he scarse felt their going down; pish, Tarts were but tryfles, but after his good Dinner came Cheese and Apples, I would said Mar­riot, I had one hundred of good Pippins here, why said one of the Gentlemen, would you eate them, I and thank you too, you shall have them then; they being brought, he never pared them, but made both Rines and Coares Invisible: This being a sufficient Digestion for his Dinner, desired leave of the Gentlemen to de­part, they having had sport enough with him, gave him leave to take his own time, thus he left the Gentlemen for that present, and went to his Lodging.

CHAP. XV. How Marriot eate a Munkey baked in a Pye, in stead of a Hare.

A Knight who lived neer the Kings Gate in Holborn, bought a Muncky of that Reverent Matron Mall Thrift, but being not fed as he used to be, dyed; for whose losse many of those that loved his apish Tricks, mourned: but the Knight being frol­lick, laid a Wager with a young Esq that he would produce a man that should eate the Munckey, in stead of a Hare; the Wager was not great, but the pastime to see any man so grosly mistaken: The Knight presently called his Cook, and bid him bake this Munckey in the form of a Hare Pye, which being done, Mr. Marriot was sent for; and because the Boyes should not run hallowing after him, the Coach was sent; the Foot-man delivers his Message thus; Sir, my Master would intreat your company at Dinner, he has no Strangers, only his owne Family; the chiefest thing he desires of you, is to certifie him of some Points in Law, for part of his E­state is Morgaged to a cunning Usurer, whom he doubts will de­ceive him, without your Counsell helps him; I'le warrant said Marriot I shall do it if it be to be done: His Cloak was so greasie he was loath to put it on. J will but fetch my Gowne and go with you; Having put on his Gowne, he came to the Ser­vant again, saying, What House doth your Master keep? a Noble House Sir, for you may come in a Morning and finde our Celler a foot thick in March Beer, here a black Jack and there a Flagon, standing in it like Towers and Steeples in a drowned City: There is House-keeping Sir; I marry said Marriot, there is a House wel kept indeed, nay Sir, by this meanes we may make my Master a better house-keeper, then ere his Father or Grand-Father were before him; for they were used to ride every day a Hawing and Hunting, my Master keeps the house sometimes for two or three yeares to­gether; and what's the cause, nothing but our mirth? our Randans, our tara Tantaras — Oh the only way in the World to make a Gentleman a house-keeper.

I said Marriot, but what meate do you keep? We have alwayes great store of all kinde of Provision in the house, let us away said Marriot, I long till I am there, so he went into the Coach and was quickly at the Knights, where he was entertained with great re­spect; [Page 28]being brought into the Parler, he saw the Cloath laid, and great Preparation, which made him rejoice much; the Knight with his Friend came and saluted this grave Counsellor, giving him many thanks, that he would vouchsafe to come at so short a warn­ing; Marriot eates alwayes of that Dish which stands next him Sir, I desire you to sit down, and take part of our small Commons, I thank you Sir I shall not spare, The Pye being brought and set before Marriot, which he soon devoured, the Knight asked him how he liked the Pye, very well said Marriot, but the bones were mighty strong; the Knight desired to see one of the bones, Munkies bones are so. call's his Cook, saying, What Pye was this, a Hare Pye Sir, did you ever see such a bone in a Hare said the Knight, I forty said Marriot; John said the Knight if you will not tell me what it was I shal turn you away: why then Sir, it was the Munckey which dyed: Mr. Marriot said the Knight, you are a fit Counsellour for the Devill, that doth not know a Munckey from a Hare; with this Marriot rose from the Table, and said, is this your Noble house­keeping to poyson a poor Gentleman, whereat they fell a laughing, and Marriot went to his Lodging with many Boyes attending him, crying, Marriot, Who eate the Munkey.

CHAP. XVI. How M^r. Marriot eate an Ordinary that was pro­vided for twenty men.

THERE were certain Gentlemen which frequented an Ordinary, but having had some distaste, resolved to vex the People of the house by some meanes, and by chance met with Mr. Marriot, asked him if he would go with them to Dinner, with all my heart quoth Marriot, but do not the People know me, if they do I shall not be admitted to the Table: let us alone to carry the matter, for you and I will go first in, and I will call you by another name, and not one will suspect you; Marriot now walks boldly with the Gentleman, and being come into the Chamber, was seated in a great Chaire, the rest of the Gentlemen presently came, and being all acquainted with the businesse sate them down, as their use was, to play. But Dinner being come up, they left off and sate them down, forbidding any Servants to be in the Room, only two of their owne, because they had private Discourse: The Meate being all on the Table, they desired Mr. [Page 29] Marriot to fall on, and not to delay any time, he quickly took their advise, and vanquished all that stood before him, to the amazement of the Beholders, the Gentlemen not having as yet unfolded their Napkins, nor tasted of a bit of the meate, sate still, neverthe­lesse to keep him company: he having now finisht his task, arose from the Table and walked a little; but the Gentlemen advised him to lay his halfe Crowne under his Trencher and to walk a­way It was given him. Marriot took their counsell, and away he went with one of the Gentlemens Servants, no more notice being taken of him then another: The Gentlemen, presently knocked for the Master of the house, asking if they should stay his leasure for a Dinner, the Host told them that he had sent them a sufficient Dinner, they desired him to come in and see, if there be any thing that will but satisfie hunger, much lesse variety, as is here expected; the Host looking on the Table saw many Dishes, but could not perceive what had been in them, they were so cleanly licked; one of the Gentlemen said, You may see Sir, what a sleight Ordinary you keep, that one man can eate that which you provide: for twenty: If you will provide us now a Dinner we will pay for it, for the Gentleman has left his halfe Crowne for what he has eaten: The Host not willing to loose all his Guests at once, provided them a Dinner presently, and ma­ny things extraordinary provided: they brought M. Marriot thither no more to Dinner.

CHAP. XVII. How Mr. Marriot eate eight pound of Corrans, with one pound of Tobacco in them.

IT happened that Mr. Marriot was walking alone by Grayes-Inne when some Gentlemen espyed him being in a Grocers shop, The Plot's a making. who sent the Boy to desire him to come to them, Marriot presently came, asking their pleasure with him, one of the Gentlemen said, I have laid a Wager on your head, Marriot desires that none should loose their wagers of his perfor­mances. and I hope you will not let me loose it, not by any meanes said Marriot, if I can help it: It is on­ly thus, I have laid ten shillings that you will eate eight pound of Corrans in one houre, Sir said Marriot, before you shall loose I will try my best; the Corrans being weighed, out were put all in, to a great Bowle, where doubtlesse they had conveyed. Tobacco, yet in his eating them, they could not discern whether he tasted it [Page 30]or no, he had no sooner done, but he fell to vomitting, having eaten much that day, all would not lye in his Stomack, but flew out at both ends; the Gentlemen presently hired a Cedan and sent him to his Lodging where he was made clean, but the Cedan men cursed him, for the Chaire was not sweet again in a Month.

CHAP. XVIII. How M^r. Marriot was pawn'd by some Gentlemen at a Taverne.

THere were certain Gentlemen at a Tavarn, who in a Morning made such haste, that they had spent all their Mo­ney before Dinner-time, and knew not at the present where to get a Dinner; but one of them being a notable Shifter said, Let me alone to be Purver to day for you all, saying, I will first send for Mr. Marriot to come hither, and when he is here, we will tell him that we have a noble Dinner providing, which will make him stay the dressing of it, and I dare to pay your Reck­oning if he doth not: Marriot was sent for, who soon came, giving the Gentlemen many thanks for their love: One of the Gentle­men said, Marriot lissens to him. Mr. Marriot I hope you will accept of our small Com­mons, provide your Stomack, for I will tell you your Cheer: There is first a legg of Porke and green sauce, a legg of Mutton roasted with Anchovy Sauce, But not his Stomack. two Pullets and a Gooseberry Tart: Marriots mouth watering, said, Why do you not get good Beefe, wherein a man might loose his Knife, that is meat which will stay in the Stomack, these light things will digest presently: Meat being on the Table, The Pork was powdred to the purpose. they sate down, placing Mr. Marriot at the upper end of the Board, that he might have the more elbow room: they all fed heartily, but Marriot had done with the leg of Pork, before they had eaten two slices of their Mutton, which they set presently to him that he might loose no time, so they fell to their Pullets, but they had searse done carving when he was ready for his share: Having now made an end of his Dinner, the Gentlemen drank to him in a glasse of Sack, saying, Mr. Marriot I hope you have eaten that which pleaseth you, the Pork was salt indeed, but a cup of Sack will wash it down: Marriot took off his Glasses till he be­gan to be sleepy, and taking a nap in a Chaire, the Gentlemen [Page 31]saw it was time now or never to be gone, made down the Staires privately and went away, the Drawer coming in, asked Mr. Mar­riot where the Gentlemen were gone, I see them not said Marriot, He was scarce awake. then you must pay the Reckoning, I'le pay but my share said he, and so was going down Staires, but the boy prevented him by calling his Master, who caused Mr. Marriot to pay the Reckoning, Marriot said, I was never pawnd before, but this shall be a warning to me not to sleep again in a Tavarn: and with a gastly Counte­nance walked away.

CHAP. XIX. How, Mr. Marriot was apprehended upon suspition of stealing Gent. Doggs, and the merry sport they had with him before a Justice.

MR. Marriot being but a mallencholly man; still thought on some way or other to passe away idle time, and at last it came in his minde to go a fishing with an Angle, whereby there might arise profit as well as pastime, so he went to Pauls and bought him a very strong Rod, and asked for the strongest Line he had, the Man shewed him a Pyke Line, the Hook having a double partition, he liking it, paid for them, and went away to Newgate Market, where he bought a Bullocks Liver to baite his Hook with; He thought all things would bite at Bullocks Livers, and hearing that it was good fishing Westward, went in a Boate to Braineford, where he resolved to lodge all Night; his Liver and other Instruments he had in a Bagg which he carryed to the Kings Armes, He needed no­thing but meat for his Sto­mack. where being in some discourse with his Land-Lord, he said, that the reason he came into the Countrey, was to take a little pleasure in Fishing, and to get him a Stomack: Marriot after he had eaten some small matter, went to bed: the Host being glad he had such a Guest as he was, to draw company to his house, did acquaint some certain Gentlemen that lived thereabouts, they having notice hereof, resolved to play a mad Prank with Marriot, so they acquainted a Justice of the Peace, Most are so. who was as very an Asse as themselves, but they desired his Warrant to apprehend Marriot, upon suspition of stealing Doggs to eate; ha­ving got this Warrant, they implyed a Constable to serve it, who [Page 32]was as much an Innocent as the rest. In the Morning Mr. Marriot went forth, They were in­structed before what to answer him. to aske whether it were good time to go a Fishing or no, the Water-men told him, very good time Sir, to catch Sam­mons or Jacks or such great fish: I will go with you presently, I will but fetch my Tackling, having discharged the house, away he goes to the water side, where Mr. Marriot went into a Boate, and said to the Water-man, carry me now where the grea [...]st Fish lyes, I shall Sir, said the Water-man do my best endeavour, where having-set him on shoare; Marriot-puls out his Tackling, and baites his Hook with a peice of Liver enough to choake a Dogg: It being a deep place many Eeles resorted to his baite, many times he puld them to the top of the water, but caught none; he thought his own way best, and so walked further, but being watched by those Gentlemen, who as he was going over a Feild, to a better place to stand to fi h in: a Constable appeared and told him he had a Warrant for him, and he must go presently before a Justice of the Peace, Marriot wondred what should be the matter, but knowing that it could not be helpt, went with the Constable; the Gentle­men being come before the Justice, who demanded of them what they had to say to Mr. Marriot; one of the Gentlemen said, Sir, upon suspition of stealing our Doggs, for he carryes Instruments for the purpose, he hath a line of Whipeord of thirty yards long, with a Hook that is wired two foot: With these and the like In­struments he doth many mischiefs; also catching Ducks and other poor Creatures, as silly Piggs; for the Doggs they supply his Sto­mack in the Vacation, and in the Term time he either is, or makes his Clyents to be at the charge of the roasting of the Pigs and Ducks, and the like: How is that quoth the Justice, why such Designes may undoe a whole Country: Sir, Sir, (quoth he) these Instruments are unsufferable, how do you know how many poor People may be undone by your Engines. I am a Gentleman and a Lawyer quoth Marriot, and know what belongs to things of this Nature as well as your selfe, not unlikely quoth the Justice, but Sir, Sir, you must know where you are, and who you are be­fore, that I do very well quoth Marriot, you are a Justice they say: Put case Marriot puts him a Case. I did use such Tricks, you have not taken me in the Manner, nor ought any man to suffer for his Belly, for that is most an end the Susterer: Where where quoth he is the Pigg or the Duck I did take, shew me any and what; and Faith let them be roasted, and we'l laugh a little: With that the Gentlemen there laughed heartily: Hold hold quoth the Justice, this is no laughing Matter (and yet could hardly forbeare it himselfe) of what Innes of Court are you, Grayes-Inne quoth Marriot, I honour the Place very much quoth the Justice, but Mr. Marriot it is a great [Page 33]dishonour to the house, for a Member hereof to become a Dogg-stealer, I professe quoth Marriot they wrong me, I came for no­thing but my pleasure, well replyed the Justice, for no other reason then that you are of that honourable house, I shall remit the busi­nesse and quit you, but have a care Mr. Marriot how you come a fishing in these parts agen, I warrant you Sir quoth Marriot, I have a good warning, and so took his Journy home-ward, where being Arrived, he told his Land-Lord how he had been served, and vowed never to go a fishing more.

CHAP XX. How Marriot was privately Invited to a Supper in the City, which was appointed for the making of two Neighbours friends, which had formerly been at variance, and how he was discovered: And how both he and the rest of his Company were dismist without their expected Supper.

IT happened that two Citizens of London had a falling out, whether it were for their own honesty or their Wives, I know not, which I shall not here question; but by some Neighbours they were advised to put it to Arbitration, each man was to choose two sufficient men in the Parish, to end this Controversie, rather then to go to Law to spend much Money on both sides, and neither the Gainer; all partyes are agreed to put it to Arbitration, which accordingly was done; and he who was supposed to have done the wrong, was by these learned men, judged to give the party wrong­ed, a Supper for himselfe and his Friend; the time and place was appointed, and all are Friends again.

Yet he who had received the wrong, and not well pleased with the Result of the Arbitration, still retained an inward Grudge, though he seemingly carryed a faire out-side to the other, and did study how to vex him: at last he thought, that if he could get Mr. Marriot with him, hee should be sufficiently revenged on him: for he knew that his Stomack was able to undo two such house­keepers as he was, might he have but a full Table continually, he [Page 34]presently sent for Mr. Marriot, and gave him the whole circumstances of the businesse, and declared the cause of his sending for him, which was this.

Mr. Marriot, there hath lately been some fallings out, betwixt one of my Neighbours and my selfe, wherein I have received much Damage and Wrong, the Particulars thereof will be too long to recount unto you, and keep you from hearing that, which you sus­pect to be the occasion of my sending for you at this time, you shall go as my Friend, and at the Supper I wish you to feed heartily, for it will be a great satisfaction to me, to see him vex at the spoyle of his meate; do you think that your Stomack is able now to give a finishing stroake to the meate that shall be brought to the Table: when Marriot heard this, his solid Countenance changed into a smile, thinking himselfe halfe at supper already, saying, Sir, I am so well prepared for such an Encounter, that had I fasted a Week, I could not have a better Stomack then now I have: for were there more meate then I guesse there is, I durst attempt it all my selfe: Bravely spoken Mr. Marriot, you shall be my only Champion in this businesse, and I dout not but that we shall remain Conquerours in our Enterprise.

Marriot who for such a businesse needed not to be much intreated: but streight way Harnessed himselfe, and a long with the Messenger he goes; being now come to the Citizens house, he was better in­structed of the matter, and away they go to the place where they should have their Supper, being come, they were led into a faire Room where the Cloath was laid, Bread and Salt on the Table, and other necessaryes on a side Cubboard: Marriot heard the Jack go, but as yet had not smelt the meate; his Stomack being raw, fell upon a French Roule to appease the waterish Humours that did trouble him: But the meate staying something long, caused Marriot to eate all the rest of the Bread that was on the Table; the Master of the house came up to welcome the Gentlemen, but when he saw the Salt stand on the Table and no Bread by it, knocked for his Servant to come up, being come, he said, Is there no Bread to set on the Table, Sir, said the Servant; I brought six french Roules up and set them on the board, Sir, said Marriot, you need inquire no further for them, for being hot with walking, I love to eate a Crust, then said the Master it is well enough, calling the Maid, whispered in her Eare, that she should carry the meate to a Neighbours house, and that he would be there presently, for quoth he, here is the great Eater of Grayes-Inne, who will make no more of this Supper, then a Plow-man would do of a poached Egg: When the Servant was gone, the Master of the [Page 35]house said to him who was his Adversary, Sir, I alwayes had a suspition of you, by reason of your equivocating, is this Pointing to Mr. Marriot. a fit man to be brought to an honest mans Table; away, away, you get no Supper here, for I will entertain no such belly-Gods at my Table: Mr. Marriot marched up towards him, saying, Sir, I desire to be acommodated as well as any other Gentleman, but your ill bred Citizens have no more manners then a Horse, and do not know when they are in the presence of a Gentleman how to behave them­selves: I would have you to know Sir, that many Lords and Knights are glad of my Company, and are you so nice; Mr. Marriot said the Citizen, They have money enough, and send for you only to make them sport, my Purse will not reach the pastime, there­fore whilst tis time, go seek your Supper, for you get none here; when Marriot heard this Sentance past on his Belly, like a Beare bereaved of her Whelps, stormed, and went down the Staires, as if a Water-Mill had been going; you may conceive the Door was not shut against him, but rather set wide open, to let out him and his stomack, which otherwise might have been the distruction of more Meat then many a Butcher kills in a Week, had it been there drest, his Stomack was then at such a height: but Marriots Friend came down, and with the best words he could use desired his pati­ence, and for to stop both his Mouth and his Belly, had him to an Ale-house, and gave him nine two penny loaves and two pound of Suffolk Cheese, which for the present did allay the knawing of an­other Worm which he hath in his Maw, his Friend promising him a better Collation when they met next, parted, and Marriot went heavily to his Lodging.

CHAP. XXVII. How Marriot accidentally lighted on a Legg of Porke, which was designed for the Dunghill, ha­ving layne in Salt above halfe a yeare, and what happened after.

MArriot walking solitarily alone, was by the hand of Provi­dence led to a place where he espyed a Damsell throwing a legg of Porke to a Dunghill; oh quoth Marriot, I won­der you are not ashamed to throw away good meat, you know not [Page 36]the price of it: Sir said the Maid, this meat hath layne in a Pow­dring Tub unknown this halfe yeare or more: no matter no mat­ter quoth Marriot, give it me and I will make a rare Dish of it▪ Blesse me God what good meat is this, much pitty it were to throw such to Doggs: I thank you faire Damsell for your love, I will get it ready for my Supper: So away he goes with his rich prise, which had it been carryed to the East Indies and brought back again, it could not have been more salt then it was. Being come home he desired some water to set it on, which was done accordingly; it being now boyled, Marriot fell to, and quickly picked the bones, but he complained that it was very salt, but to put away the thought of drink out of his minde, went to bed, thinking that sleep would a pease his Drought, but it proved otherwise, for about Midnight he waked, thinking himselfe to be neer some great fire, by the rea­son of the great heat he was in, started up and ran to his Window, crying out, fire, fire, murther, murther, at last his Land-Lord came up, asking him what was the matter, pray fetch me a Paile of wa­ter quoth Marriot, for the fire is only in my belly: so you have not fired my house, I do not care if it were in your — his Land-Lady brought him up a paile of water, which he poured into his boyling Caldron, to appease those humours which would have run into a further distemper if not quenched in time: but Marriot be­gan to wish that the Doggs had eaten the Porke before he had seen it; but he said, if they had, a thousand to one but it had killed them, poor Creatures, and therefore I am glad I eate it my selfe: So de­siring his Land-Lord not to take it ill that he knocked them up, at so unseasonable an houre, but his Land-Lord very civilly said, Mr. Marriot, we are all ready at your knock, if it please you to have any more water before we go to bed, it shall be fetched, no more said Marriot at this time; so laying him down, slept more quietly then before, his Land-Lord also went to bed, and did think because Porke had so fired his Maw, that he would never love swines flesh again: but he proved no Jew, for he was at Bacon the next day.

There are more stories of his doubtlesse (Reader) you have heard, but I have selected these as the only truths, and that you may know more of him, he lyes at a Joyners house in Grayes-Inne Lane, and there may finde him and his Stomack, up together any Morning.

CHAP I. How to make his Cordiall Broath.

TAke three Sheeps Hinges with the Wooll on their Heads: Three dozen of Sheeps Trotters: Two Bullocks Livers, with halfe a peck of Otemeale; boyle all these in a Cal­dron two houres, then strain the Broath through a haire sack­cloath, and let it coole: The use of it is to appease grumbling in the Guts, or a wambling Stomack, by drinking one Gallon at a time, and eating the meate after it: this will preserve you from hunger and wind in the Stomack, using it but once in two houres: Pro­batum est.

By Mr. Marriot.

CHAP. II. His Pils to appease hunger, ordinarily carried about him.

TAke of Rye meale nine pound, Of Chandlers Graves three pound, of the skimmings of Hony one pound, warme water as much as will make it into a Paste, then roule them up into a [Page 38]dozen Balls, then put them into some boyling Broath, till they be through boyled, then set them to coole; but beware that the Doggs do not deceive you of them, as they have done him often times.

THE chiefe use of these Pills are for travelling, for Mr. Mar­riot carryed alwayes a dozen to Westminster in the Term time for feare of fainting; his ordinary place for eating them, was in the dark place, neer the Common Pleas Treasury, where one might see him swallow these Pills, as easily as an ordinary man would do a guilt Pill in the Pap of an Apple.

CHAP. III. A Purgation.

MR. Marriot would often follow the Farriars Rule for Dren­ches, which Receit best agreed with his Body: for he would take Milk and Oyle with Aquavitae, Pepper and Brimstone all mingled together, a Pottle at one time is nothing with him, to scoure his Maw.

CHAP. IV. Why he swallowes Bullets and Stones.

THE heat of his Stomack is such, that without such a remedy he could not subsist; for when he hath gormandized himselfe at some great Feast, strait way he swallowes Bullets of almost foure ounces weight, which causes a present digestion: Also round Pebble stones he often swallowes, which cools his Maw.

These kinde of Tricks he hath, by which he puts down many of our new Juglers now a dayes, who will be an houre eating of a Cheese-Cake, he vanquisheth all that dare oppose him in his Art.

CHAP. V. How he orders his baked Meate, or his rare Dish on Sundayes.

MR. Marriot out of nicenesse, because he would not have womens fingers in his meat, dresses his meat himselfe, ha­ving an earthen Pot which holdes halfe a bushell, he fills it in this manner as followeth.

Take a Bullocks head, the bones being chopped small, and good store of Onions and other course Hearbs which are easily to be got, Pepper nought for the Pox. with an ounce of Pepper, for he scares no pox, as many Turnups as will fill the Pot, when he had layd all these in his Pot, he put there­to a Gallon of Pumpe water, because it should not want moisture, then with his owne pawes he carryes it to the Bake-house, staying still by it, fearing least he should be deprived of some of it in his absence.

He never goes to Church on a Sunday, but gives much atten­tion to the Baker when he sayes it is time to draw, which time being come, he carries his Pot home, and to Dinner he goes without lay­ing a Cloath, He buyes no new Bread. first he cuts slyces of stale Bread and sops them in this Restorative: He is a right English man, for he eates his Broath first, which being done, he sends the meat to be boyled once more in his hot Maw, which hath so quick a digestion, that three Cookes are not able to provide him meat at all the motions of his Stomack: This being an absolute remedy for the present, I have here set it downe for those Stomacks that dare keep him company.

CHAP. VI. How to make his rare Fish-broath.

LIke a good Doctor he makes his broath; only in May or June, when Mackrell are sixteen or twenty a Groat, and then he hath great skill in choosing them, for none but the broken bel­lyed [Page 40]ones will serve his turne: but because he would not be chea­ted in them, he will go to Billingsgate himselfe, and will sit on the staires halfe a day, rather then be disappointed: but seeing fish for his turne, presently buyes three Groats worth, and puts them in his bag for the purpose, and away he comes home, getting water, and setting them on in his large Coldron, many hearbs he uses, as Fennell, Bayes, Rosemary, and a few Leekes, but when it is boiling he skims it, because it is to make broath, having so done, he lets them boyle a little, and then takes up his Fish and his hearbs, then he puts halfe a peck of Malt in, and boiles it again, his fish he sets to coole, yet like a good Cooke, hee lickes his fingers as he is a dressing them, having now boyld his broath sufficiently, he falls on it, and the fish, making no more of it, then the Welshman did of his three peny Ordinary, who was ready for another, before he had done that he was about.

The use he made of this broath and fish, was only as I conceive to get him a stomack, for he would often say, That fish was of a light digestion: therefore good for those that have but a slight stomack at present, but desire a greater,

CHAP. VII. To make his cooling Sallet, to coole the Blood.

I Am of opinion that he hath read Gerards Herball, or the Hi­story of Plants, wherein partly he found this Receit, but be­ing inlarged by himselfe, I thought fit to set it downe amongst the rest; he being a man of a hot Stomack, did use this Sallet following very often, wherein he found great benefit,

The way to make it is thus,

Take as many Water-Cresses as a large Flasket will hold, as many Radish tops, and halfe so many Colworts, boyle all these together for the space of two houres, You may bor­row his Cal­dron. then take them up without much squeizing, and put them in a halfe Tubb, putting thereto a Gallon of soure Ale, and a quantity of Goose-grease, sufficient to give it a taste, with a pound of Pepper strewed upon it: This Sallet is excellent good to purge the blood, and to loosen the bel­ly, this quantity being taken three severall mornings in the weeke.

CHAP. VIII How to make Mr. Marriots new Dish, called a Frigazee.

MARRIOT hearing of a new Dish that was much used at Oxford Cates, and in other places about the City amongst Gallants, thought in his fansie to make one that should resemble it, because the materialls that were used in it, were too deer for him, but being a man of a rare Stomack, quickly guessed at something that was eatable, though dressed in a strange way; when he had thought upon all the materials of this Dish, he be­gan to put it in practice, having gotten all the Ingredients toge­ther, to try this rare conclusion.

And thus he made it.

He took three great Pomcitrons and pulled out the Curnels that were within them, then he pared the outside rinde off, and then slyced them into thinn slyces, then he had many Apples which he slyced also, then he took two Bullocks Livers and slyced them ve­ry thinn and broad, then he layd a row of the former slyces in the bottome of his Oxe-cheek-pot, he peppered his Liver well, and layd a laying of one and a laying of another, till he had filled his Pott, strowing many fine hearbs on the top of it, then [...] carryed it to the Bake-house, where he stayd till it was baked; being come home, he invited his Landlord to taste of his new Dish, who I dare sware never saw the like before, but his Landlord knowing his Stomack, and that a — was as good for a Sow as a Pancake, praysed his Dish highly, saying, It is very good, but I have newly supped, therefore I desire you to excuse me to night, I shall leave none for to morrow, quoth Marriot, therefore stand to it now that you may say you have eaten of a rare Dish, he not being over nice eate a bit or two with him, but I will not tell how sick it made the poore old man, but it agreed with Mr. Marriot as if it had beene a Chicken roasted, and served in to his Table with Butter and Parse­ley, so excellent is his Stomack for digestion.