MAster Peacock, the ser­vant of God, in the beginning of his vi­sitation, for the space of two weeks and foure dayes, was full of most Heavenly con­solations; shewing by sweet me­ditations, and gracious ejaculati­ons, the entertainment he found with his God in his sicknes, with whom he so much desired to be acquainted in his health. We are (saith one comming to visit him) miserable comforters. Nay (saith he) Ye are good, for this [Page 2] is the priviledge even of Gods children, that their very presence affords comfort. Sometimes h [...] craved pardon for his actions, & for the circumstances by them badly observed: otherwhile h [...] desired to have some matter given him to meditate upon. Finally he said, his hope was firmly setled on the rock Christ Jesus He hoped that the Lord woul [...] give him a place, though it wer [...] in the lowest room of his Saints And he thanked God he had n [...] trouble of conscience, the Lor [...] did not suffer Satan to vex him In so much that some seeing hi [...] great comfort, feared lest h [...] would be overtaken with sorrow before his death: he much rejoyced that the Lord had so disposed of him, that he had see [...] his friēds in the Countrey. Her [...] first was his yeelding unto deat [...] [Page 3] suspected, and his hoped reco­ [...]ery doubted. Calling some of [...]is friends aside, I thought (saith [...]e) I had been in a good estate, but [...] see it now farre otherwise: For [...]hese things my conscience layes a­ [...]ainst me: First, I brought up my [...]cholars in Gluttony, letting thē eat [...]heir fill of meat, when they mealed [...]ith me. This some endeavoured [...]o pull out, by putting into his minde, 1. The preventing of ma­ [...]y inconveniencies. 2. His well known moderation. 3. The great care he took for good con­ference, when they were at table with him. But (saith he) while I was talking, they did undoe them­selves. And further, I did unad­visedly expound places of Scripture at the table many times; and for these I feel now a Hell in my consci­ence. Again, I have procured my own death, by often eating like a beast, [Page 4] when I came justling up and dow [...] to my friends in the Countrey; An [...] now I see before my face those dis [...] es of meat wherewith I clogged m [...] stomack. Well (saith one to him If all the things you accuse you self of were undone, would yo [...] doe them again? Nay: why the [...] doubt not but a Reprobate woul [...] desire to be saved, if a desire woul [...] serve the turne: indeed he ma [...] have a desire, but of bare willingnes, not with an intent an [...] purpose in using of the means Another time a worthy friend o [...] his asking him how he did: h [...] cryed out, Sinne, Sinne, Sinne What doth any lye on your conscience? Yea. What? My unconsideratenes, I did eat too much of suc [...] meat to breakfast such a morning [...] my self being an eye-witnes o [...] his great abstinence, could no [...] choose but admire the tenderne [...] [Page 5] [...]f his self-accusing conscience. Well (said he) God be thanked [...]here is no greater. As we must [...]ot extenuate our sinnes, so nei­ [...]her must we too much aggra­ [...]ate our sinne. Let drunkards [...]nd gluttons have those terrible [...]orrours. I thank God I never con­ [...]inued in any known sinne against my conscience. He was willing that he should pray with him: kneeling down he said, he was [...]hen uncapable of prayers. After­ward he kneeled down of his [...]own accord: shortly after he [...]roke out into such speeches, A damnable, wretched &c. these are nor your words (saith one) you cannot deny but you have had good experience of Gods mercies. I cannot. Then be comforted, for whom he loveth once, he loveth to the end. Yet Satan took such advantage of his infirmities, that [Page 6] though he could finde some com­fort, yet no particular assurance. You have lived profitably (said one) I have endeavoured. You are now humbled, and the Lord looks that you should ask mercy. M. Dod was sent for, who being come, they were private awhile, afterwards we comming in to them, M. Dod put him in minde of Gods kindenes: whereof he shewed to him foure parts. 1. To take small things in good part. 2. To passe by infirmi­ties. 3. To be easily intreated. 4. To be intreated for the great­est.

Sir, there is now in you the image of the old Adam, sin and sorrow: there shall be in you the image of the new, holines and happinesse. The life to come may be set out by three things. 1. The estate of it self, happines, [Page 7] holines, and glory. 2. By the [...] company, every one shall [...]e you better then any one, e­ [...]n the best, can love you here.

The place.

There are three differences be­ [...]een the afflictions of the good [...]d of the bad. 1. In the cause, [...]r they come to the good for [...]ods love. 2. In the measure, [...] farre as they need, and are a­ [...]e to bear. 3. In the end, for [...]eir good.

Of those former doubts we [...]terwards heard not a word [...]om him. Upon the Sabbath­ [...]y he desired to be alone: after [...]on he was fearfully troubled. [...] his countenance appeared evi­ [...]ent tokens of a sorrowfull [...]inde, born up with a weak [...]ody; his spirit was wounded, [...]tan had foiled him. Those his [...]rrible wrestlings with tentati­ons, [Page 8] gripes of conscience, a [...] restles terrours, none can unde [...] stand, (much lesse expresse but he which felt them. S [...] tan had winnowed him, an [...] shewed him nothing but chaff [...] His tender conscience w [...] goared with the fiery dar [...] of the Devil, pointed wit [...] the edge of sinne, an [...] sense of Gods heavy wra [...] As through a false glasse, th [...] dazled eye of his astonished and amazed soul, coul [...] see nothing but hideousl [...] appearing sinne, and th [...] terrible image of death an [...] damnation. He had drun [...] deeply of the cup of th [...] dreggs of Hell. His adversary had represented unto him his once most gracious God, now as a mos [...] severe Judge displeased, angry, [Page 9] and chiding with [...]im; yea yeelding him up [...]nto his clawes: that so by [...]his deadly stratagem, he [...]ight take from him all [...]ope of help that way, and [...]o not onely stop the sen­ [...]ible flowing of Gods grace; [...]nd cut the chains of Gods [...]ove, whereby he had tyed [...]im, and would draw him [...]fter him, but finally break [...]is Christian heart. Oh [...]hat you had seen, or that we that were present had had eyes to have seen his [...]eeming forlone soul. What with barkings of consci­ence, and with the too heavy burthen of sinne, vvaves of fearfull thoughts, [...]lustering blasts, and sur­ging storms of Gods hea­vy displeasure, he vvas [Page 10] tossed, turmoyled, dashed aga [...] the rocks of despaire, and m [...] then in danger of his souls s [...] wrack: happy were we if [...] ther through frowardnes, [...] blindenes of judgement, we inconsiderately passe by, or p [...] phanely deride Gods jud [...] ments, by thinking that they [...] ther happen casually, or by f [...] getting of them suddenly. [...] we could but rightly discerne [...] we should finde nothing m [...] profitable, then to have the [...] mage of this gracious (thou [...] now afflicted) soul in our hear [...] Hereby we may see that t [...] righteous being scarcely save [...] there is no place for the wicked a [...] ungodly to appeare. And tru [...] we may think that God sent it [...] ven for our sake, that we (w [...] whom it is too usuall to da [...] with the Lord) might kno [...] [Page 11] that it is a fearfull thing to fall in­ [...]o his hands. Our faith is then [...]ryed in earnest, when as the Lord hideth his face from us. For if we love God above all [...]hings, it cannot be but upon the [...]osse of the relish of his favour, [...]r taste of his displeasure, our [...]ouls should be in bitternes, prick­ [...]d, tormented, wounded, thrust [...]horow, yea, and swallowed up with desolation. It is a wonder of the world, how we care­ [...]ully will seek physick, use dyet, by any means to avoid a [...]odily pang, and how careles we [...]re of the unsupportable fits of [...]he souls mortall sicknes. It is [...]ot in our power to apprehend [...]race when we will, and a hard­ [...]r matter is it then we can con­ [...]eive, to lift up a poor soul cast [...]wn with the sense of Gods wrath. If a violent passion may [Page 12] so farre transport the min [...] what may we think of this re [...] les trembling, when the s [...] after long tossings, seeth it [...] drowned, and wholly ov [...] whelmed with the deluge [...] sorrow, proceeding from the [...] verlasting threats, and sha [...] and confusion of face in [...] presence of the Almighty Consider the body loaden f [...] a burthen, neither portable [...] evitable; and thence gather [...] stranglings of an overladen so Consider a man ready to [...] from an high Tower unto [...] Earth; and thence gather [...] estate of another falling fr [...] Heaven to Hell with a spiritu [...] ruine. Consider a childe, wh [...] the mother hideth her face fr [...] it, and terrifieth it with a B [...] boe; and herein take view of [...] estate of a poor Christian (wh [...] [Page 13] chiefest happines having therein [...]onsisted, (to wit) in being joyn­ [...]d, and united to his Heavenly [...]ather, having now lost his pre­ [...]ence, or being affrighted with [...]he Devil, as if he were ready to [...]y hands on him. Consider [...]he estate of a debtor, cast off by [...]is best Creditours: and gather [...]hat of a Christian being banker­ [...]ut with his God. Consider [...]he estate of a man, once in fa­ [...]our, afterwards adjudged to [...]eath by a Prince, without hope [...]f pardon or repriving: and ga­ [...]her that of a Christian, who [...]fter his citation and arraign­ [...]ent at the Tribunal seat of God, [...]ands condemned, and is whol­ [...] deprived of obtaining pardon, [...]nd delivered into the hands of [...]he Devil. The Lord needs [...]ot to seek wilde beasts to punish [...]s, or such like cruell executio­ners [Page 14] of his wrath to torment u [...] he may finde enough within us all the furyes and Devils cann [...] invent a more greivous tormen [...] One by it apprehended needet [...] not more accusers or torment ours. His many never-though [...] of sinne (as if he stirred a nest [...] wasps) come buzzing about h [...] eares, and as a man indebte [...] once laid hold of, make him faster daily: his loving friends ma [...] stand by the prison and call him but he being fast fettered, canno [...] stirre forth. You shall see hi [...] now in his purgatory, (not th [...] papisticall sinne-satisfying fict [...] on, the Popes jayle) but that h [...] fiery furnace wherein the Lo [...] trieth his metall, whether it [...] good or reprobate. And su [...] pose that he had died at t [...] worst (as in the Lords justice [...] might, to the hardening of tho [...] [Page 15] that will not be softened) As no man should rather judge him by [...]he inch of his death, then the [...]ength of his life; so I for my part neither did in him, nor doe [...]n my self so much feare his death, as I did, and doe desire his life. You may observe the [...]ourses which God taketh in vi­siting his children to be divers: some are comfortable and with­ [...]ut any great admixture of dis­comfort: others heavy, but with­out horrour: others horrible, [...]et all of them are in the issue gracious. But to leave any fur­ [...]her digression, and to come a­gain to the matter in hand.

When one came unto him, he [...]rake out into these words, Oh [...]ow wofull and miserable is my e­ [...]tate, that thus must converse with [...]el-hounds! He being with these words strangely moved, went [Page 14] [...] [Page 15] [...] [Page 16] to call some of his best ab [...] friends to comfort him. T [...] them he complayned, that t [...] Lord had cursed him. Being d [...] manded how he knew it: he answered, Why! the event shewet [...] it. It being replyed, The [...] such and such were cursed: h [...] answered, I have no grace. Ho [...] doe those then? they once ha [...] none. I was a foolish glorious H [...] pocrite; It is against the course [...] Gods proceeding to save me, [...] hath otherwise decreed, he canno [...] Put your trust in God. I canno [...] no more then an horse. Doe yo [...] desire to beleive? No more the [...] a post, then an horsshoe. I kno [...] you cannot deny but that yo [...] have sought Gods glory. N [...] sincerely. There is a secret mi [...] ture of pride and hypocrisy, [...] ven in the best. I have no mo [...] sense of grace then these curtain [Page 17] [...]en a goose, then that block. Let [...]he testimony of your life past [...]omfort you, especially in the [...]lling of a Tutour. I did the [...]sinesse thereof perfunctorily, when [...] handled hard Authours, I came [...]ten unprepared, and read shame­ [...]lly. Be of good courage, and [...]e Lord will comfort your [...]eart. It is ended, there is no [...]ch matter. Why doe you think [...]o? You shall see the event, God [...]ill yet bring it to passe. Tush, [...]sh, trifles. What doe you think [...]f your former Doctrine? Very [...]ood. Let it comfort you. It [...]nnot. You desire it could. If [...] might. There is nothing un­ [...]ossible to God. Which stands with [...]is decree: Oh, oh, miserable, and [...]ofull, the burthen of my sinne ly­ [...]th heavy upon me: I doubt it will [...]reak my heart. Behold your [...]omforts. Nothing to me, I pray [Page 18] you hold your peace, doe not trou [...] your self idly, you vex me, y [...] words are as daggers to my hea [...] Another time some of t [...] younger sort said to him, R [...] member, Sir, the good counse [...] that you have given us heret [...] fore. Those were ordinary. Y [...] may see many others in the li [...] estate. Not such as mine. S [...] David. What doe you speak to [...] of David? Good Sir, endeavo [...] to settle your minde; Yes, to pl [...] with hell-hounds. Will you pray I cannot. You were wont her [...] tofore. Yes, by a custom and va [...] glory. Suffer us to pray for yo [...] Take not the name of God in va [...] by praying for a Reprobate. He you may see the glory of G [...] preferred before his own salv [...] tion, rather willing to have t [...] means of his salvation neglecte [...] then the Lord dishonoured. Su [...]er [Page 19] us to pray for our selves. [...]ook to it, you would now shew your [...]aculty in praying. Can you say, Amen? No, but in a certain ge­ [...]all fashion. One prayed, and [...]n the mean time he rested most [...]uietly. I pray you (saith he, [...]hen prayer was ended) Goe [...]ence to bed, doe not trouble your [...]lves in vain. Let not the Devil [...]elude you, abusing your minde [...]nd tongue, I know you speak [...]ot these words. I wonder that [...]ntelligent Scholars should speak [...]hus. We are perswaded you [...]re in as good estate as our selves Look how it is with your selves in [...]ruth. One that watched with him, asked him, Sir, how can you discern this change by the [...]bsence of God, if you never en­ [...]oyed his presence? I thought I [...]ad it once, but now I see it is farre [...]therwise. But God deals with [Page 20] you, as he dealt with the Churc [...] Isa. 54.7. He forsook it a whil [...] and hid his face from it, but I returned to it again, and so ( [...] doubt) the case stands with yo [...] Never, add not affliction to the a [...] flicted; Oh me wretch! groani [...] pitifully. Hope no worse [...] your self, then we doe of yo [...] All of us have seen cleerly whi [...] way your carriage was still sen [...] after the spirit: and we are ass [...] red that you will come to t [...] spirit, howsoever you seem t [...] have lost your way. To a [...] particulars he would answer, desire grace generally, I did go [...] outwardly, all hypocritically. O [...] asked him, Doe you love such a one? his most dear, and wo [...] thy to be dear friend. Yes. Why For his goodnes. Why then you a Gods childe, for by this w [...] know we are translated fro [...] [Page 21] death to life, because we own [...]e brethren. Many like forcible [...]oofs he would shift off with is former evasions, and after­ [...]ards became more wary a­ [...]ainst himself, either loth to [...]rant any thing, or granting it [...]aggeringly, or, what then? [...]aring lest he should be pres­ [...]ed, he wished, that some were [...]ut in minde, 1. Of their great care [...]or building, and too small care for [...]cholars in them. 2. Their gi­ving so long leave of absence from [...]he Colledge, and desired amend­ment.

After noon came a worthy Governour of a Colledge in our University,Dr Aye [...] Provost of Queens Colledge. and requested him [...]o be of good comfort, and to pluck up his spirit. I cannot. Why can you not? Because I have [...]o grace, no more then a Back­stock. Why doe you think so? [Page 22] By this affliction. Doe you des [...] grace? I cannot. (He spake m [...] strongly) I can as well leap ov [...] the Church. But are you [...] sorry that you cannot desire it I cannot. Would you not be Heaven? I would not. O [...] standing by, said, The De [...] himself would, if he could. ‘B [...] the way, you shall have the [...] pinion of a much resp [...] cted Minister apposite heret [...] which he gave in private. [...] proud man, saith he, w [...] scorne to seek any good fro [...] his enemy: so the Devils pri [...] will not let him think himse [...] beholding to God for Heaven if he might get it.’ You hav [...] (said one) the testimony of faith you love the Brethren. I di [...] not. Doe not you love us? No This conclusiō was fastē ­ed on him before, which now he stufts off. The Devil now seeth he shoul [...] be cast into straits, if yo [...] [Page 23] [...]ould grant this; what is it that [...]oth most trouble you? I un­ [...]rtook too much upon me foolishly: had gotten a little Logick and [...]reek, and meanly instructed in [...]e rules, did set my self to read to [...]holars; and afterwards under­ [...]ok other busines, which distracted [...]y minde and body from them, I [...]ave destroyed a thousand souls. [...]ou may see the falsehood of [...]m that suggesteth this unto [...]ou: you never had a thousand: [...]e puts a false glasse before you. [...]he good effects of your pains [...]ppears in many of your Scho­ [...]rs. Oh they were of themselves [...]apable. Name one in whom [...]hey doe not? There is one. (point­ [...]ng at a Master of Arts there pre­ [...]nt) He justified his care of [...]im, and gave thanks to God [...]hat ever he came to him. It is [...]ot so, I did foolishly. You con­fesse [Page 24] you did foolishly, therefo [...] not of malice. Again, cōsider wh [...] would have become of many them if you had not taken the [...] Better, farre better. All in the C [...] ledge know the contrary. Bu [...] feel it. It is false, believe n [...] the Devil. It is too true. Wh [...] vvill you make amends? G [...] will give you your hearts desir [...] Never. Are you sorry that [...] vvill not? No, there is no grace my heart: it is dead. Such w [...] Davids case. What doe you co [...] pare me with him? Behold Chri [...] himself. Nothing to me. Go [...] can make his death availabl [...] He cannot. He is omnipoten [...] In me he cannot, because [...] stands with his purpose. Who [...] God loveth once, he loveth t [...] the end. But he did never love m [...] You have tasted of his love. [...] deceived my self in a certain vain [Page 25] [...]lory: I exposed my head to many [...]hings, outwardly all. You could [...]ay the Lords Prayer, and there­ [...] call him Father. Hypocriti­ [...]ally I was wont to enquire of Ma­ [...]ter Mason, what was meant by [...]bba-father; rather in curiosity, [...]hen truly to be edified. God will [...]ive a good issue. Never, I [...]ave no sense. We will pray [...]ith you. Doe not dishonour [...]od. It is well that you will [...]ot have God dishonoured: [...]ere he sticked, saying, I pray [...]ouble me not with distinctions. [...]fter came one, who with ve­ [...]ement action of body, pres­ [...]d and urged him to trust in [...]od. I cannot (said he) I can­ [...]t, he will not have me saved, [...]s sentence is passed. Doe [...]ou desire to be saved? [...]o. Do you desire to desire? [...]o. Would you be damned? [Page 26] No. Look at the sinnes of ot [...] men as great as yours, and [...] they are saved. They were good a godly, they found grace: here is [...] difference, my sinnes are horribl [...] he repeated that towards [...] Scholars. All of us know y [...] took pains. Outwardly y [...] did your best. No. I see no [...] what it is, you strictly look ba [...] to your own actions, as a Ju [...] ­ciary, who will none of Go [...] mercy, and now he hath jus [...] met with you, your judgem [...] is just. These words affec [...] him strangely: another wil [...] him to look to it, it seemed n [...] Popery. Doe you hope to [...] justified by your merits? I f [...] to be damned for my sinnes. T [...] other asked, whether he cou [...] say, Amen? No. Have y [...] no tongue? What is that to [...] purpose? Name Jesus, I can [...] [Page 27] [...] I had your tongue in my hand, [...] would make you speak. Turn­ [...]g his speech to a friend present, [...]h (saith he) if you did but feel my [...]eif but an houre, you would have [...]mpassion. The other reply­ [...]d, If you were in the fire you [...]ould wish to get out. I had ra­ [...]er be in the fire then here. I will [...]ay for you. Sinne not. Let [...]e fault be mine.

Although my purpose was [...]rely to relate the passages of [...]is gracious mans visitation, and [...] referre to your spirituall eye [...]hat you could tracke and finde [...]erein, yet let your gentle con­ [...]uction withhold from me the [...] served censure of bold blind­ [...]s, in that now and then I point [...] some things which your [...]ick sight may sooner or bet­ [...] apprehend. The Devils ma­ [...]ious policy was great toward [Page 28] him, in that he assaulted h [...] most strongly in that, whi [...] might and ought to have be [...] his greatest comfort. Again, saw that the opinion of the Ph [...] sician helps somewhat in bod [...] maladies or diseases, whereas [...] that his estate, his soul remai [...] ed as it were uncapable of co [...] fort from the souls Physicia [...] He much respected some fe [...] He dolefully poured out his so in the bosome of a well will on this manner; I took upon [...] too proudly many things, and be [...] negligent, performed nothing: c [...] sed be the day when I took Schol [...] If I had not taken them, I had b [...] happy; with a great flourish I w [...] stirring many wayes, and in [...] mean space left the essence of [...] calling, teaching Scholars. Wh [...] saith the other, what shall I n [...] doe, when I see you thus tosse [...] [Page 29] W [...]ll, for I was an Hypocrite, and [...]w therefore there is no hope of [...]mfort for me in Gods presence: have no sense of it. The sunne [...] in the firmament, though it [...]ay be hid in a cloud. This [...]mparison agreeth not to me. What [...]en would you counsell me to [...]e? Abide within the bounds of [...]ur calling: take not too much on [...]u, and the Lord will blesse you. [...]ill it avail me to hear sermons. [...]es, if you mean to be saved. What [...]ood shall I reap thence? No­ [...]ing from the bare hearing. oh, [...]is heavy lumpish fear hath oft­ [...]mes shaken me, and now it hath [...]oken out. Another said, you [...]ow the poor in spirit are bles­ [...]d. I am not such. You see you [...]e empty of all good, you feel [...]ur burthen. I pray you goe your [...]ayes. He turned his head aside, [...]d stopped his eares: what [Page 30] though you have done but lit [...] good, if you have but give [...] cup of cold water, &c. He thr [...] ed him away with his foot, [...] ther (as some thought) be [...] troubled with his shrill voi [...] or (as he replyed) through [...] Devils subtilty. T [...]at even he was grievously afflicted Sudenly he brake out; Oh if Go [...] The standers by endeavoured cherish this good motion, and s [...] to him, He will give you gra [...] I doubt it. Then presently [...] ter he uttered this prayer, God, give me a spark of grace, [...] enlarge my heart that it may app [...] hend it. He asked a friend, h [...] he might give satisfaction [...] some speeches.

M^r Dod, although he depa [...] ed on Saturday, and had th [...] an unseasonable journey, [...] being requested by letters, [Page 31] [...]rned on Tuesday following. [...]e at the first sight started up, as [...]esirous to meet him, Oh M^r Dod, [...]d in friendly sort complained, have no grace. I will not (saith [...] ^r Dod) beleive every one that [...]ith he hath grace, nor every [...]he that saith he hath none: An­ [...]wer the Devil as Christ did. A [...]an must not alwaies be led by [...]nse; Let us enquire by the ef­ [...]cts, and it may suffice, if we can [...]nde but one, yea the least it is [...]ough. You forgive your e­ [...]emies, and love them, and [...]ould doe them no hurt if you buld? Yes. Then your sinnes [...]e forgiven. An Hypocrite [...]ay give alms and fast, but this [...]e cannot. That is a small matter. think it to be a great one, yea, [...]ch an one that I had need to [...]ay for; That is put for a rea­ [...]n in the Lords Prayer, and if [Page 32] Christ had thought any mo [...] forcible, he would have giv [...] it. Sir, that is true, but in th [...] that are elected. Doe not y [...] put an exception, where G [...] hath not. I would not hand you as I doe, but that I kno [...] your estate: I come hither cherish you, you love your go [...] friends? I cannot. Had you r [...] ther that bad or good men shou [...] be with you? Good. Yet y [...] say, you doe not love them: [...] sow will be with swine: There [...] no fellowship between light a [...] darknes. Would you belie [...] your self, or the Physician touc [...] ing the estate of your body? T [...] Physician. Believe not your s [...] then, now you are sick, yet sh [...] be restored. It is impossible. Wh [...] so? If you had sinned so mu [...] as you could, you could n [...] have sinned so much as Ada [...] [Page 33] yet he is in Heaven. It repented [...]m. Doth it not you? No. Doth [...]our sicknes or sinne more trou­ [...]e you, or had you rather [...]ve grace, or health? Grace. Well then. But it cannot be. [...]od will wash you. I have [...] water. God will bring it [...]ith him. He hath denyed it. [...]e hath offered it by his Mi­ [...]sters, which are as the buc­ [...]ets to draw and pour it. [...]ou must not look now that [...]od should come to y [...] him­ [...]lf. Doe you think it a small [...]vour of God that so many [...]ood friends come to you? [...]od did send none to comfort [...]ain or Ahithophel. Think of that [...]ying of Manoahs wife, If the [...]ord would kill us, he would not [...]ave shewed us all these things, [...]dg. 13.23. Behold the proper­ [...]es of Christs sheep: They are [Page 34] 1. Weak, 2. Sick, 3. Brok [...] 4. Driven away, 5. Lost, EZ [...] 34.4. You are such, see the [...] fore your comfort, he [...] 1. strengthen, 2. heal, 3. binde [...] 4. bring again, and 5. seek y [...] You finde your self a great de [...] tor: the Lord hath pardone [...] onely he looks that you sho [...] come to him for an acquittan [...] This fight is not yours, but [...] Lords, 2 Chron. 20.20. put y [...] trust in him. If you ask me, h [...] may I? it followeth, Beleive [...] Prophets, and you shall prosp [...] You may remember that Ch [...] did pray for Peter, that his fa [...] might not fail, but it failed [...] terwards. How came that [...] passe? That failing did rath [...] strengthen it. For whereas he g [...] ried that if al should deny Chri [...] yet he would not: had he be [...] asked, Doest thou promise t [...] [Page 35] [...] thi [...]e own strength, or by [...] he must have answered, [...]ine, f [...] [...]therwise he would [...]ve req [...]ed his help, making [...]m hereby to seek to Christ for [...]e strengthening of his faith. [...]his happeneth to you, because [...]u credit the suggestion of [...]rnall reason, and not the word [...]ther. Oh the cunning of [...]e adversary! deal not with [...]m by cunning, but hold him to [...]e Word, seek for strength in [...]od to resist him. You may [...]e the Apostles in the tempest, [...] was from their weaknes that [...]ey distrusted, yet of God that [...]ey prayed. I cannot pray. Here [...]hat S^t James saith, Is any man [...]ck, &c. afflictions further pray­ [...], but most sicknesses hinder: [...]herefore behold your friends, [...]hose mindes as the Lord hath [...]irred up to pray for you: so will [Page 36] he also stirre up himself to he [...] them. Their prayers are your [...] yea, you have the prayers of m [...] ny which never knew you. A [...] as God said to Cain, sinne lyet [...] at the door, ready as it were [...] doe him an ill turne: so his pr [...] mised blessing doth as it we [...] expect you. If your salvatio [...] were now in your own hand [...] it is likely you would yeild u [...] all: but your name is written i [...] the heart of Christ. Sir, let m [...] watch with you this night. N [...] Why? because it would hu [...] you. He (fearing the conclus [...] on) said, Here is a snatching a [...] gument: nay rather, I will not su [...] fer you, because you would trouble m [...] In the morning M. Dod came [...] gain to him, and asking hi [...] how he did, he answered, wretc [...] edly, lamentably, abhominably no stamp of grace in me. Doe yo [...] [Page 37] desire to be eased? Infinitely. Oh if God would give me a drop: I was so foolish that I would alwaies be doing some­thing, but did nothing well. I pray you tell me what was the calling of the good thief upon the crosse? Doe not you think that God can put a distinction between his grace and our corruptions? Be­hold the Church sometimes helples and hopeles, and Jo­nah in that his bed, God seeth you, though you see not him. But I feel horrour. Where misery is, there is grace much more: Then e­specially appeareth the ex­cellency of the Physician, when health is least hoped. The Devil doth abuse your minde and tongue against your self: but doubt not, [Page 38] the Lord will cast down the strong holds of carnall reason. Onely doe not suppresse that grace of God, which al­though it appeareth but small as big as a mans hand, ye [...] it shall be increased into a [...] mighty rain, by which your dry soul shall be moistened. Chris [...] rising again, did first appea [...] to Mary Magdalen that sinner [...] after commanded her to tel [...] it first to Peter, which ha [...] denied him. See thence hi [...] mercy. The godly in thei [...] afflictions doe but forget thei [...] comforts; God helps thei [...] memory, helps all. Th [...] godly losing his sense o [...] Gods favour, is like to [...] man that hath lost his purse [...] which if he could finde, h [...] were rich enough. But th [...] wicked cannot be brought t [...] [Page 39] remembrance, because they ne­ver knew it. Thus he suf­fered him to rest a while, afterwards returning with o­thers, prayed. Then he was asked, how he did. Misera­bly. Doe not you search in­to the secrets of God. It is too true and manifest. Sir, doe not alwaies be digging in at your sinnes. A wound continually rubbed cannot be cured. Suffer the plaisters of the Word of God to rest upon it, that it may be holp­en. Oh, if I had! Oh, if it would please God! I had rather then any thing in this or other three thousand worlds. Who now giveth this desire unto you? Of our selves we can­not think a good thought: God giveth both the will and the deed. A desire is a sure [Page 40] token. But I cannot truly de­sire. You doe not desire false­ly, therefore: truly what doe you dissemble? Here is a trick. You must needs distinguish between unperfect desire and hypocriticall. Will you know whether your desire be true? There are two signes thereof▪ Constancy, and a conscionable using of the means: You have found these in you, doth this argument hold? You doe not feel, therefore you have it not? I know when you would have denyed such an argu­ment: If that did follow, it should fare well with the Reprobate, he hath no sens [...] of the wrath of God, therefore he is not under it. Elizabeth said, Whence is it tha [...] the mother of the Lord shoul [...] come unto me? surely from [Page 41] their Christian heart. Truly I could hardly have come to you, but that I thought I was bound in conscience, be­cause I know you to be the servant of the Lord: When you were well, if we should have come with proofs out of the Word of the Lord, you would have believed us. Yes. Why not now when your [...]udgement is blinded? Oh, the [...]udgement of God! Call it as [...]e calleth it, Corrections. Oh, [...]ny insensible heart! Oh, dead! A dead man cannot perceive [...]imself dead, and God quick­ [...]eth the dead. Oh, if he would [...]nlarge my heart! This desire [...]s good; But it is without sa­ [...]our. God in mercy will [...]eild you a comfortable rel­ [...]ish: Consider I pray you; [...]hereas man may object, The [Page 42] Lord is strong and terrible. It followeth, Mercifull with­all. But I am backward in seek­ing it. He is gracious, more forward then thou canst be backward: but I have pro­voked. Him; he is slow to an­ger: but my sinnes are great but he is abundant in good­nes and in truth. The Lord hath promised that he on hi [...] part will be our God, an [...] we on our part shall be his peo­ple. For a while he commend­ed him to God: shortly after re­turning, he prayed with him Cast your burthen upon God He hath rejected me. Who mad [...] you his counsellour? Secre [...] things belong unto God, bu [...] revealed things unto us: wil [...] you make Almanackes? He dot [...] manifest it: Oh mine abominabl [...] bringing up of youth! he witha [...] [Page 43] groaned most deeply. If you had done as well as the justest man, you should stand in need of the merits of Christ. I, or another may bring arguments, but it belongs to the Lord to fasten them on the heart. I say to you as Noah did to Japhet, God perswade Japhet, &c. What if your sinnes were as crimson, God can make them as snow. That is true of those that are capa­ble. Behold, we make your e­state our own, we have part in your sorrow: who hath thus (think you) disposed our hearts? God. And doe you think that he which causeth us to love you, doth not love you himself? I fear I did too much glory in mat­ters of private service to God. The neerer we come to God, the more we see our own vilenesse. This is the use which I make of [Page 44] it, blessed be God which hath not put our estate in our own hands, but kept it in his. The Devil hath now winnowed you and you think all is gone out, bu [...] God holdeth what is his. A [...] Artificer can distinguish dross [...] from the metall, cannot God his from yours? Well, with Jo [...] lay your hand on your mouth and hold your peace, and so goo [...] rest have you: Onely conside [...] your comfort, though it be bu [...] small, whence it came, even from Gods Word and servants, no o­therwise.

M. Dod.When he returned again t [...] take and give farewell, he began to complain: Oh, great an [...] grievous! The Lord knowet [...] what power he hath given you A father will put a greater bu [...] then upon a stronger sonne. Bu [...] see the difference. When a [Page 45] earthly father or master setteth his on work, they must doe it with their own strength; but the Lord setteth on work, and giveth strength to be not discou­raged. You are now in your cal­ling: Oh, mine heart is miserable! What then? A father loveth his sonne as well when he is sleep­ing, as when he is waking. Sir, I have known you heretofore, and although, if I were in your case, I might doe as you doe, yet I remain the servant of God, as you certainly are. The Ho­ly Ghost calls to your remem­brance what you have hereto­fore taught, and now heard: And although I shall be absent in body, yet shall I be present in minde. Be not too covetous to seek abundance by and by. If Jacob could say to Esau, I have seen thy face, as though I had [Page 46] seen the face of God, much more should you think so of the chil­dren of God that come to you. I thank God (saith he) he hath be­gun to ease me. He will in his good time. God grant. Thus he took his last farewell. Al­though vve depart from our friends in the way, yet vve shall meet at the end. One told Ma­ster Dod that he had uttered such words. Now the Lord hath made me a spectacle. Whereupon he counselled one that attended on him, to be sparing in admitting commers in, or speakers, lest his brain should be too much heat­ed. A friend of his comming to him, asked him, Dare you mur­mure and repine against God? Why should I so? God be bles­sed. It is a signe of grace. But I have no meanes. You have had them offered. But not given with [Page 47] effect. They shall, I doubt not. God grant: but I doe not feel it.

He received a letter from a friend very respective,M. Bolton. and much respected of them both: where­in were written these very words: ‘I heard, I know not hovv true, that our dear Christian friend M^r Peacock is in great danger: which hath much greived and afflicted my heart, and vvrung from me very bitter teares. If his extremities be such, his ten­tations are very like to be sore. Tell him from me (as one vvho did ever, with dearest inti­matenes knovv and converse with him) that I can assure him in the word of life and truth, frō a most just and holy God, whose Minister I am, That he is undoubtedly one of his Saints, designed for immorta­lity, and those endles joyes in [Page 48] another world.’ When it was read to him; at those words I can assure him, &c. (he said) Oh, take heed, take heed, doe you think he vvould or durst assure you, unles he knew on what grounds? I did deceive my self, now God hath revealed more. Ano­ther time one requested him, that he would make his friends par­takers of the least comfort that the Lord bestovved upon him, as they had been partakers of his grief. If I had it, I would wil­lingly communicate it. Search and take notice of the least. How should I have any, since God deny­eth the means? doe you think sense is a fruit of faith? Yes, at this season, although the hus­bandman hath sown much, yet he seeth nothing above ground. Applications doe not prove, hold your peace, my heart is broken. [Page 49] Then the promise is yours. I would gladly ask you one thing, Now you will ask twenty. Doe you seek for grace in your heart? I cannot. How then can you know whether it be there or no? It is dead. The Lord in whose hand the disposing thereof is, dispose it for your good and his glory. I thank you. What doe you think of that place, Whose sins you remit, they are remitted, &c. You know how farre they may goe. Howsoever, Sir, the bar­gain is not now to be made be­tween God and you. Shortly after came one whom he much esteemed. Oh I love (said he) your company, for the graces in you, and much more to the same pur­pose. Suddainly he brake out into this ejaculation, Oh God, re­concile me unto thee, that I may taste one dramme of thy grace, by [Page 50] which my miserable soul may receive comfort. One secretly willed that man to desire him to repeat it again. Doe not trouble me with repetitions. There being a ser­mon, he bade them about him goe thither. After he called one, and asked him whether the preacher (being acquainted with his course of preaching) did use his accustomed divisions. He told one, Satan had borne him in hand, and had deluded him: to whō the other answered, I hope that God will restore you as be­fore, to glorify him here. No. No. Yea, if you were weaker, I would hope notwithstanding. I desire nothing more. God be thanked, you have laboured care­fully for his glory. I would la­bour after another fashion. In the night he prayed and repeated his belief. And after resting a while, [Page 51] he called those that watched with him, Bear witnesse, I said not, I believe, but in generall, and as desiring that I might believe. One comming to visit him, ask­ed him, How is it with you? My minde was grievously puZZled with sundry distractions this night, but now I feel my burthen more light, I thank God. He was put in minde of that place, Isa. 54.8, 11, 12, &c. Oh thou afflicted and tos­sed with tempests, and not comfort­ed; behold, I will lay thy stones with faire colours, and thy foundations with Saphyrs; And I will make thy windowes of Agates, and thy gates of Carbuncles: and all thy borders of pleasant stones, &c. For a lit­tle while I hid my self from thee, but with everlasting kindnes will I have mercy on thee. He lifted up his eyes: thereupon being ask­ed what the Lord did say to his [Page 52] soul, that had long refused comfort? Take heed, be not to [...] bold, look to the foundation. And then prayed. Lord grant m [...] the comfort of thy deliverance, and forgive me my foolishnes, that I may praise thy name. Then he complained of his idle speeches. Upon the Sabbath day one came to him, willing him to put his hand to a note of certain debts. This is not a day for that. We will goe to Sermon. God spee [...] you. Now you cannot goe to Church to serve the Lord, I pray him to come to you. Amen. He hardly suffered any to stay with him. At evening one did read something to him in Master Downams warfare, and asked him, doe you think it to be true? Yes. Therefore you must not trust your sense: What not such as mine are? But I will not now [Page 53] dispute. When they were help­ing him up and putting on his cloathes; upon some occasion one said to him to this effect: A childe will not much grieve at the laying aside of an old coat, when he hath anew made, Whē you shall put on that, there shall be no longer nakednes, the resur­rection will amend all. To those that die in the Lord. No doubt you will dye in him, having lived in him. I have answered you before. But I would not believe you in that case. The next day a friend of his being to goe forth of town, asked him, whether he would have any thing with him, for he was to leave him, and knew not whether ever he should see him again here. Look to your calling, that it be as well inward as outward. He counselled another; To be stirring for the glory of God. [Page 54] To one standing by, he said. [...] am thinking. What? On a for [...] to get grace. Put your trust in God. So I doe. I omit how, and tell you that with great patience▪ he continually submitted him­self to advise in any means fo [...] his good: In putting his tem­porall estate in order; he deal [...] mercifully with his poorest debtors, yea, with some which migh [...] well pay it. His worthy patro [...] (for so he often called him) whom for honours sake I name, Sir Robert Harley, sent his man to him with some aurum potabile, together with a book which a Doctour had made in the praise thereof. Comming to him, and asking him how he did, Oh (said he) if it would please God that I might live with him. Anon after he [...]aid to one, I have been think­ing of arguments by which I might [Page 55] pleade my cause with God, and I [...]ave found: But what if dying thus, [...] should be judged an Apostata? Man is not the Judge at whose Tribunall you must stand or fall. There came in many of our cheif Fellowes. One of them request­ [...]d him to make confession of his [...]aith willingly. But I would [...]hink of it first. Musing awhile, [...]e called them. Truly my heart [...]nd soul have been farre lead, and deeply troubled with tentations and stings of conscience: but I thank God they are eased in good measure: Wherefore I desire that I be not branded with the note of a for­lorne or Reprobate: Such questi­ons, oppositions, and all tending thereto, I renounce: Now help me, and put me in minde. What doe you think of your former doctrine? Most true: In it I have lived, and will dye; I have not [Page 56] dealt hypocritically in it. Are you willing to die? Truly I will tell you: my Patron who of late sent me potable gold, hath taken order that I might live with him contentedly in the Ministery: but I submit my self to the will of God. Doe you desire the glory of God, and the salvation of your brethren? Most: Help my memory, what more? Doe you forgive all wrongs? Yes, and desire that mine may be: And now I thank you. Sir, I re­member a thing wantonly done towards you, pointing at one present. You sent me a knife for a new-years-gift; and I ty­ed two verses to it, and sent it back: I pray pardon me if any thing— For mine uncon­siderate speeches in the time of my tentations, I heartily and humbly ask forgivenes. You did then (saith one) seem to rely [Page 57] somewhat upon inherent righte­ousnes, as if you sought in your self whereby you should be sa­ved: Indeed we knew your con­versation to be unreproveable: No I dare not affirm it: I trust in nothing but in the name of Jesus. Have you any cer­tainty in him? I would not be pressed to a particular assu­rance in this grievous agony. We desire you to inform them that shall come unto you of your estate. My unability is great: They then praied, 1. Giving God thanks, that whereas before they had craved his mercy for his ser­vant, he had heard them, and manifested to his glory, how he never forsaketh his: And besought him, because he knew the malice of the enemy, to per­fect his good work, and not suf­fer him to be tempted above his [Page 58] strength. Now, Sir, we tell yo [...] one thing to your comfort, W [...] never heard you speak any thing against God or man, thorow [...] out the time of your visitation [...] but wholly against your self [...] I have been bold thus to argue wit [...] God, If he hath shewed mercy t [...] such and such, why should not [...] likewise have hope? He com­plained once, how, while h [...] was visiting the sick, (In whic [...] work many poor souls foun [...] the ready mercifulnes of hi [...] heart, and now feel a great want) he lighted upon doubts; which that he might more ful­ly satisfy, when the like migh [...] be moved, he studyed too ear­nestly. One brought him a note book which he had lent (Alwayes willing to communi­cate what he had most private) Here is a book (said he) of great [Page 59] pains, &c. To a stranger, a wor­thy gentleman that came to visit him, he said, The Lord is mercifull to me, and I have cause of rejoycing, &c. Afterwards a reverend Governour came to him,Dr A [...]ery. to whom he complained of his sinne and misery. You look not (said he) for any thing in your self. No, for no­thing. You would amend if you had space. Oh if I had— Certainly— Think on this. As the Lord hath heard the eja­culations and grones of your spirit in your infirmity, so he will now. If he will be glo­rified by your life, you shall live; Submit your self to him, let him choose for you. My faith is weak. All, you know, are here but in part, you de­sire notwithstanding to runne to that which is perfect: So [Page 60] [...] [Page 61] [...] [Page 60] you may see how low many have been brought, some (said he) have been Idolatours, was not Manasses such an one? Yes. And behold Gods servants from the beginning of the Bible to the end, they have slipped. Lot had shrewd slips, but yet here the testimony of the Apostle of him; he was just and righteous. You have been wearied and heavy loaden. Yes. For such is the end of Christs comming: your desire is a token of favour: For by how much the neerer we come, the more we thirst. Think now on his loving kindnes; he hath begun, and he will finish whom you have served. I did endeavour, but vile imperfections, &c. It is our greatest perfecti­on here, to see our imperfections. Shortly after came to him many young Gentlemen, to whom he [Page 61] said, Live in Gods fear, that you may die in his favour: Otherwise the Oxe and the Asse will condemn you; I spent my time foolishly and prodigally. You have (said one) remembred that sufficient­ly; Remember also Christ. That is true, Christ is to be re­membred, and our sinnes to be re­membred also.

The night following, which was Wednesday night, the Sun of Righteousnes spread gracious beams at his setting, which were comfortable tokens of a glorious rising. His last swan­like song, as he uttered it, was pen'd by some as he uttered it. One comforting him by his bead-side some two houres or more before his death, he brake out into these speeches; Quid [...]e salute mea sentiam expectatis [...]t explicarem: usque adeo indul­get [Page 62] Deus ijs quos semel dilexerit, ut eos nunquam deserat, at (que) ideo me in coelos transiturum pro certo habeo: Felicissima sunt ea vincu­la in quae me conjecit Deus benig­nissimus; You all expect that I should declare what I thinke of my own salvation: God is so indulgent to those whom he hath ever loved, that he never forsakes them, and there­fore I am assured I shall goe to Heaven: Most happy are those fetters into which I was cast by a most mercifull God. One telling him, You have fought a good fight, &c. he said, Ex­petit, expedit ut contendam ad coe­lum; Tollite, Tollite, Eripite, Eripite, ut coelum adeam: Deus indulget ingenuitati bono­rum. It is requisite, it is requi­site that I should contend for Heaven: Take me up, take me [Page 63] up, carry me hence, carry me hence, that I may go to Hea­ven; God doth cherish the in­genuity of the good. Being put in minde of Gods mercy towards him, he made answer: Oh, the sea is not so full of water, nor the Sunne of light, as God is of goodnes, his mercy is ten thou­sand times more. Being likewise remembred of Gods goodnes towards him, in filling his heart with such comforts, after so great tentations, he said: I doe (God be praised) feel such comfort from that: What shall I call it? Agony, saith one, Nay, that is too little: That had I five hundred worlds, I could not not make sa­tisfaction for such an issue. Being moved to lift up his heart in to­ken of thankfulnesse unto his God, he uttered these words: What, shall I extoll the magnificence [Page 64] of God, which is unspeakeable, and more then any heart can conceive? Nay rather let us with humble re­verence acknowledge his great mercy: What great cause have I to magnify the great goodnes of God, that hath humbled, nay ra­ther exalted such a wretched mis­creant of so base condition to an e­state so glorious and stately! The Lord hath honour'd me with his goodnes: I am sure he hath provi­ded a glorious Kingdom for me. The joy that I feel in my heart is un­credible. He made likewise pro­testation of that which he al­wayes before taught against ju­stification by inherent righte­ousnes, and appealing to the knowledge of some there pre­sent, what he continually main­tained, in that (saith he) I still remain a Protestant. After three chapters read to him, [Page 65] Revel. 19. Revel. 21. Rom. 8. Oh, (saith he) They be glorious comforts: Will you have any more read? Yea, a Psalm, if you please, and named the 23. One beginning to read it, he desired that it might be sung: One ask­ing him, Will you sing? Yea, said he, as well as I can. The Psalm being sung, afterwards the 17. of John was read unto him: One comforting him by applying to him that in particu­lar, which Christ in generall performed for the good of the faithfull, he said, Blessed be God, very often, I am a thousand times happy to have such felicity thrown upon me, a poor wretched miscre­ant. After a little rest, Lord Je­sus (said he) unto thy hands: Lord receive my soul, Lord lift thou up [...]he light of thy countenance upon me, and be mercifull unto me. [Page 66] Then very weak he repeated the Lords prayer twice, and his Belief once very plainly, and distinctly with a strong voice, to the great admirati­on of the hearers: so he slept in the Lord.

December 4. Anno 1611.