Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged sends greeting to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London pamphlet called A cable-rope double-twisted

Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged sends greeting to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London pamphlet called A cable-rope double-twisted

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WEllfare an old Friend in a corner, but I have found an old corner in a Friend, that in these hard times hath sent me a True Loves Knot made of a Cable-Rope double-twisted, and withall hath most Emphatically, Mathematically, Aquatically, and Emblematically hanged me in a Boat at London, and after that (most strangely and transubstantially) he sends me a Rope to Oxford. This is Booker's Ass-tronomicall Legerdemain, to hang a man first and send him a Rope afterwards, for the which courtesie I will send him a few small Lines, which he may twist at his leasure, and hang himselfe after at his pleasure. But this preludium is silly simple stuffe, for though it may be suitable to Booker's ridiculous Non-sense railing and reviling, yet it neither becomes me to write, or my Readers to spend time in reading my writings if they were not better seasoned with salt, poudered with pepper, sharpened with vineger, and made fit, and of some acute rellish for the pallates of such capacities, as can make a distinction betwixt A Very Knave, and A merry Knave.

Booker, all the world may perceive the implacability and inveteracy of thy malice for thou canst not be contented, to hang me, but thou persistest so uncharitably towards me as not onely to send me a Rope, but to revile me, with the learned Titles of Rogue, Prick-lowse, Pagan, Metropolitan Villain, and such other pretty Sirnames, which he learned from the Fish-wives scoulding Colledge at Billingsgate, and that he should be loath to fowle his fingers to answer any Pamphlet that comes from Oxford, but that through his sides the honour of a Parliament is wounded: to which I answer, that Parliament at this time is a meer Conventicle, or not the shade of a shadow of what it should be, and thou thy selfe dost manifest the imbecility of it, in that it had no other fortifications but such rotten paper-walls as thy sides to defend it from the shot of a Scholars or a Scullars pen; Sirtha, I would have thee know, that we at Oxford are true Protestant pen-proofe, and the King, Queen, [Page] Princes, Peeres, Clergy, Vniversity, Army, Magistrates, and Commons, are slander-proofe, so that neither your rebellious fighting, or reviling writing, can wound, blemish or sully the Majestique lustre of Royalty, in the Soveraigne, or the obedient expression of duty in the Subject.

But thou with thy Consorts, May, Wither, Britannicus, the Scout, the Dove, and all the Rabble of lying and reviling Rebells, cannot so much as scratch or touch my reputation, much lesse can they wound either Aulicus or Naworth, and least of all can they batter with Elder-guns and paper-bullets either majesty or loyalty.

Prince Rupert (or Robert) whom your sawcinesse is pleased to call plain Rupert, as if his Highnesse and your Knaveship were all fellowes at foot-ball, you are so stupified in impudence and unmannerly ignorance, that you give that illustrious Prince, the scandalous, Turkish Titles and Tearmes of Saladine and Saracen, with many other such base expressions: I do hold it a great happinesse to that noble Prince, that he hath worthily deserved to be feared and admired by you and all the rest of your rebellious and Traiterous Factions; you have some reason to be angry with him, because he hath so often beaten you, (although he never did any harme to any honest man, true Subject, or Protestant; yet such a stinckard as John Booker, Thou, that art a thing, that out of thy imperious Clerkship to some Justices of Peace, to foure or five of which thou wast a directing Gizzard, under their wing, a vermin made up of the fag-ends of fellonious cheating, filching, whoring, roguing, man-slaughtering, and murdering Mittimusses; thy apparrell onely made of the shreads of Warrants, thy diet out of the Scraps of roasted Recognizances, and thy whole life an imitation of Binding over and With-drawing, this hath been thy Trade of old, thou whilom Vnder-Stewards man to one of the Innes of Court, where thou didst fatten and batten with scraps, rumps and kidnies, and scraping of Trenchers, and lately a Guild-hall Publican or Toll-gatherer for the maintenance of damned Rebellion against God and the King.

And this Booker, this Thing, this Nothing, this any thing (except a good thing) doth flirt poyson, and with stinking calumnies against the sacred Honour of Princes, Religion, piety, and humanity, revile the King, Queen, and all that sincerely love or obey either God or them.

[Page] If they were a Parliament, which thou so manifestest, they would shew some fruits of a Parliament, in hanging thee, with all thy Brothers (Knaves and Libellers) that do make a dayly and weekly Trade to vilifie their Soveraigne, with the Queen and loyall Nobility. There is a Statute unrepealed yet, that makes it no lesse than High Treason, or Treason in the highest degree; and that Act being still in force, me thinkes, should stop your mouth with a hempen cullisse or Caudle. But your nick-name Parliament doth not onely maintain and retain a scattered Heard of scribling Villaines, but also they do allow most respect, favour, countenance and meanes to him that can lye, raile and slander most: therefore I conclude, if they were a Parliament, the sacred Name and Honour of His Majesty should not be suffered to be abused so transcendently (beyond all presidents) but that they would by Law and Parliamentary Authority send yee all to Gregories market, and feed Crowes with your traiterous mischievous Heads, and filthy, treacherous, rebellious, stinking, quartered carcases: therefore no Parliament.

But do thou and all the rest of the Generation of Vipers cast never so many of your Traiterous slanders upon his sacred Majesty and his pious sincerity, yet his Royall and Christian constancy is so firme, that you do all justly deserve an universall hanging, in not believing and belying his fixed and (never to be violated) true Protestations, His Majesty is so well grounded in His Religion, that He is resolved to maintain, defend, live and die in the Protestant Faith, of which Faith His Father (of blessed Memory) and himselfe have been Defenders above fourty yeares, and which Faith you and your Faction have been Defilers almost foure yeares.

I wish you had the manners to forbeare taxing His Majesty with Papistry, till such time as you know Him to be no Protestant. Indeed He is in minde and body compacted of such an unyeilding constitution (which your loyalty may call stubbornesse) that He will not bend or bow to your new-found Doctrine, so that there is no hope that you will ever be able to make a zealous Brownist, or devout Anabaptist of Him; therefore I advise you to be quiet, and let him be a Protestant still, for you labour in vain, and it is neither in the power of you, or the Devill your Master, to alter Him from being constant, pious, just, mercifull, &c.

Thou railest most delicately, against learning and the Vniversity, [Page] which in one word or two I will answer with an old said Saw, Art hath no enemy but ignorance, as for the King, Queen, Peeres, Clergy, Vniversity, Cavaliery, Infantry, &c. Their own worths and virtues are their vindications, so that I will not presume to say thou canst wound their Honours, either through my weak sides, or any wayes else that thy hellish brain can invent, therefore Ile let them alone to defend themselves, and turne once more towards thee in mine own defence.

As when Christopher Columbus (an Italian) first discovered some small part of the (then unknown) America, Vespusius (a Spaniard) sailing the year after, with the Chart or Card, Compasse, Mappes, and Mariners, that formerly Columbus had used, the said Vespusius discovered more Land, as the golden Peru, and other vast Continents, and at his returne (being at dinner with Columbus and others) Vespusius bragged that he had onely found out that new and rich World, at which words the Italian took an Egge in his hand, asking Vespusius, if he could make the Egge stand on one end upon the Table, to which he answered, he could not do it, then the other said that he could do it, and presently he put the Egges end into the Salt, and it stood upright; then the Spaniard said, that he could do that tricke as well as he, to which the Italian replied, so you could finde America when I have shewn you the way. And much like hast thou Booker answered my Book, called [No Mercurius Aulicus] thou hast (like an Asse) yoaked thy selfe with my Heifer, for thou hast not the wit to plough without her, you play with your Nody-grammaticall foolery in Anagrammatizing my name, (as John Tayler, Joyn Halter) and fillest thy patched Pamphet with questioning and cavilling, at changing [o] into [e] with such skimble scamble, simple, froathy stuffe, as would serve to give a knowing hide-bound Dog a comfortable stoole or two.

But as they are, and the condition they now are in, they have no other way of supportation, but what proceeds from the blacke mouthes of your zealous, Atheisticall, long-winded Preachers (or Tautologicall prating Lecturers) with the aide of you and your holy Tribe of accursed Pamphlet mongers; it is you that with your Spirituall and Temporall damnable Devotions, and infernall practices, that do uphold the usurped Dignity of that Idoll Dagon Senate; it is you that bring oile to quench the flames of this afflicted [Page] Kingdome; it is you that have bewitched, besotted, and picked the purses of as many as believed you; it is you (and your instigations) that have raised and defended this unparallelld and unnaturall Rebellion; it is you that (by Innovations in the Church) have almost made the glorious Protestant Religion invisible, and (to cover your Villanies) with hypocriticall and odious Lyes, you charge the King and his Honourable Counsell with Popery, it is you that defend the New Assembly in their Synodicall Consultations, in framing and forging a new Alcaron, or a Talmud; it is you that have made Knaves and Fooles believe all this; it is you that have banished, imprisoned, robbed or murdered as many as would not believe all this, and my hope is to live to see you hanged for all this.

Therefore it is no marvaile if they maintain you, for you are the onely props that uphold them, when you give over Lying then their Honour will lie in the dust, and when they fall you will be in danger of sterving; for as Phocas by the murder of his Master Mauritius (the Roman Emperour) gat the Empire to himselfe, but was held in an odious estimation amongst all good men, so that his usurped ill-got estate stood tottering, and his life in dayly hazard (by the friends of the Assassinated Emperour) at the same time, the Bishop of Rome (Boniface) ambitiously sought to be Chiefe and Vniversall Bishop over all Christian Churches, which pride of his was opposed by all the godly and zealous Bishops in the World: but at last, the Murderer Phocas and the aspiring Pope made a bargain, which was that the Pope should by his dreadfull Thunderbolts of Excommunication affright the People into obedience with the Emperour, so the Emperour (by force of Armes) would bestow the Primacy of the whole Earth on the Pope, this match was made, and the most significant application of it is, that by as good right as Phocas reigned, by the like right doth Bookers Parliament rule, and by the same right do those fore-mentioned Villaines and they maintain and defend each other, by Murder, Sacrililedge, Ambition, Treason, Rebellion, and ruine of this ancient, famous, late-flourishing, and now most wretched and miserable England.

Our Maremaid Taverne (thou saist) is turned Ale-house (for want of wine) but if any of the Planets told thee so, tell them they lyed, for there is sufficient of Wine in that House to make all the true Subjects in your Army as drunke as Beasts.

[Page] Thou taxest Naworth and me with being blinde, that we could not see but mistake, and take Jupiter for Mars, this mistake might be an escape or fault in Printing, and my Book was too small to have an Errata annexed to it. I answer, that Naworth did no more know of the writing or printing of my Book, than thou and thy Comrades do know how or when to be true Protestants or loyall Subjects; but all the world may perceive thee to be starke blinde in thy understanding, that couldst not know the King from John Taylor, just as when a man casts a stone at a Dogge, the foolish Curre runnes and bites the stone and never mindes the Caster; why, thou ignorant blinde Buzzard, it was I, yea, it was I alone, without either any or the least assistance from Naworth, Aulicus, or any other that wrote the Book called [No Mercurius Aulicus] wherein I told you truly of your mistaking, villanous Prediction; I tell thee again, thou mis-believing Infidell, it was I that galled and spur-galled thee to the quicke, and thou (like a blinde Iade) couldst not see me alone that did it, but thou must fall a snapping and snarling at the King, the Queen, &c. with others, who never had such a thought as to thinke upon so villanous a poysonous Vermin as thou art. Thou shouldst onely have medled with me that mumbled thee; but 'tis the old tricke of your Pulpiteers and Pamphleteers, to draw the more attention, and entice Coxcombs and Knaves to buy your damnable roguish riffe raffe, to mix and blend some slanderous Lyes, and Traiterous Ieeres against our Soveraigne, and his most gracious Government: for it is a Rule amongst you, that if there be no Treason in the Sermon, or Lying Calumniations in the printed Pamphlet, the one will never be liked and rewarded, nor the other be bought and sold.

And now Sirtha, I will tell thee of an Anagram of my Name, that describes or emblems my couragious undaunted disposition, as John Taylor, O harty Lion. It may be Ioyn Halter may fall out to thee, and I may be the man that may joyne it, but be of good comfort if the Dog killer do not mistake thee for a dangerous Curre; then I am resolved to give order to the Hangman for thee. Thou sayest, Thou wilt be silent hereafter, and that to answer AULICUS, NAVVORTH, or my Selfe, were to relieve us. Sir, I know I have put thee to silence, I have ramm'd up thy bawling chaps, for any more medling with me, but thou medlest most mischievously with [Page] the Planets, and makest most Traiterous Expositions of them; the Starres and twelve Signes will reward thy lying sophisticating Calculations, with their malevolent Influences. Also thou recitest (to a damnable purpose) the story of Saul, Agag, and the murdering of the Protestants in Ireland, when all men of judgement do know that Ireland durst not rebell as long as the Earle of Strafford's head was upon his shoulders: but those that thirsted his blood, did also thirst for the Rebellion there and here too, and all the murders and outrages in Ireland were occasioned by the Brownists and Anabaptists, which Villaines urged the Papists so violently to infest that Kingdome. Should I answer every Bable, fable, or knavery in thy pestilent Pamphlet, all my truths and refutations would not lye in one poore sheet, to which this my rejoynder is limited, but for a conclusion I will send thee a Medicine, a requitall of the Cordiall thou sentst from London to me. I wish thee not to refuse it, for it will cure Diseases in any Rebell.

Recipe

Of Sayes good workes two hand-fulls.

Legall Protestations anna one Scruple.

The Close Committees Loyalty anna one Scruple.

Rebells obedience anna one Scruple.

Anabaptisticall duty anna two Graines.

Brownisticall zeale anna two Graines.

Schismaticall holinesse anna two Graines.

Sacrilegious sanctity anna two Graines.

Hypocrites purity anna two Graines.

Whites conscience anna two Graines.

Burges his chastity anna two Graines.

Case and Sedwickes Divinity one Dramme.

Let all these be bound up together in a Holland clowt as bigge as the palme of your hand, and tie it fast with the Line of Communication, let it be watred with the teares of oppressed and distressed Protestants, who are either undone or imprisoned for being true Subjects, then take them and beat them well in the Morter of Common Calamity, with the Pestle of the Publique Faith; when it is well beaten, mix it with the Braines of Booker, May, Wither, Mercurius Britanicus, Prinne, and two or three hundred Knaves Braines more, it is an approved Medicine for the encrease of Rebellion, for the grumbling in the gizzard, the flux of the Tongue, or the melancholly mubble-fubbles, provided it be taken fasting (upon a full stomacke) at five of the clocke in the morning after Dinner

Finis.

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IOHN TAYLOR Being yet unhanged, sends greeting, to IOHN BOOKER That hanged him lately in a Picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London Pamphlet, called A Cable-Rope double-twisted.

Thou Booker hang'st me pictur'd in a Boat,

Whereby thou shew'dst thy selfe the Hangman's Groom,

The Hangman shall hang thee, and men shall note,

That under Tyburne thou shalt have a Tombe:

And lowsie Ballad-makers Rimes shall sing,

There lies a Rebell, that revil'd his King:

Thou hang'st my Picture, but I do foresee,

That (in revenge) the Hangman shall hang thee.

Gallogras Choka Cur dog Weasando Suffocatiorum.

Printed in the Yeare, 1644.

Information about this book

Title statement

Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged sends greeting to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London pamphlet called A cable-rope double-twisted

Taylor, John, 1580-1653.

Edition statement

1644

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2005-12 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A71179

ID [STC]

Wing T434

ID [STC]

ESTC R14479

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

11921082

ID [OCLC]

ocm 11921082

ID [VID]

50967

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Early English books online.

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(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A71179)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 50967)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 232:E21, no 19)

Source

— Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged sends greeting to Iohn Booker that hanged him lately in a picture, in a traiterous, slanderous, and foolish London pamphlet called A cable-rope double-twisted, Taylor, John, 1580-1653..

Extent

8 p.

Printed by L. Lichfield]. [Oxford? :: 1644.. (A scurrilous denunciation of Booker and all his works, in Taylor's usual style.) (Reproduction of original in Thomason Collection, British Library.)

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