The duty of the Wife towards her Husband.

PRivate Families are the Semina­ries, & Nurseries both of Church & Common-weale, for out of these must spring a seed for the propagation of the one; and againe it must be so formed by godly educati­on, that it may prove a holy seede for the amplification of the other. Now because in every family, there is as the Philosopher hath very well observed, a threefold combination.Pol. i. c. 3, One betwixt [Page 2] the Husband and the Wife; a second betwixt the Pa­rent, and the Child; a third, and last, betwixt the Ma­ster, and the Servant; that nothing may happen to be disjoynted, and out of frame in any, following the method of S^t. Paul. Col. 3.18. We will prescribe di­rections here for all; and first begin with the nupti­all Bond, as being the first. For Adam was a husband before he was a father. Se­condly, because from these the rest receive impressi­on. And as in a Watch, if the spring be out of frame, the wheeles can never goe, or if they move not one an other, the hammer cannot strike, so where there is not a fit correspondency be­twixt [Page 3] man and wife, the rest of the family cannot but miscarry in their Motions. Againe it is a thing worthy to be observed, that how­soever in this yoke, the husband be the more ho­nourable of the twaine, the Apostle yet requireth the duty of the wife; and for this we may render a two­fold reason.

1. Because the tender of subjection comes from us with more difficulty, than that of our affections. To love is thought a pleasant and delightfull thing; but to be subject to an others will is usually counted hate­full, and detrected as a bur­den.

2. Because the love of the husband depends for the [Page 4] most part upon the due sub­jection of the wife. For if she vouchsafe him the one, he shall be barbarous and brutish, if he shall not returne her the other: the wife is the person then, with whom we must begin. The duty whereunto she is ex­horted, is subjection; The persons to whom this duty is to be tendred, are their own husbands. The motive that should induce them willingly to tender it, It is comely. The manner or limitation of the render, it must be onely [...], in the Lord. As touching the first.

Wives.

If women will but con­sider [Page 5] the manner and end of their creation, they may be the more easily brought to what is heere required: For as concerning the manner; The woman was not made of earth, as Adam was; And why? Nunquid deerat lu­tum figulo, ut necesse erat pul­sare latus Adami? Did the Potter, sayth S^t. Gregory, want Clay, that he was dri­ven to knocke at Adams side.

Surely no; but he would take woman out of man, & not out of earth, that the priority and dignity of man might thereby bee establi­shed. And this is the Apo­stles reason. 1 Tim. 1.13. Adam was first formed, and then Eve: and in 1 Cor. 11.8. The man is not of the Wo­man, [Page 6] but the Woman of the Man.

Againe in respect of the end. She was created for mans sake. For though God had made him Lord of the whole earth, and given him all the creatures for his use, he found not yet a­mongst them all a helpe meete for himselfe, and therefore desired a supply; He found helpers among [...]t them, but they were mute, without conference; bru­tish, without reason; all looking downewards: But man was in honour. Psal. 49.20. The horse served him to ride, the Asse to carry his burden: These were yet no meete helpers. Fuit in Adamo appetitus socii, et si­militudinis: There was in [Page 7] Adam a desire of his like, he would have had a compa­nion, with whom he might have discoursed of the love and prayses of his Maker; but such a one found hee not. Some of the Beasts drew neere to hm in rea­son, as the Fox; but none in this.Cicero lib. 1. de Legib. et 1. Tu [...]ou­quaest. Totum hominis sci­entia Dei! Man alone is ca­pable of Religion. So that a fit helpe for comfort, con­ference, cohabitation, pro­creation, equality, he had none. Every Bird had his mate. Esay 34.16. There was Equus, and Equa: All had, what man wanted. God therefore out of man for man made a fit helpe.

Wives. The word is inde­finite and exempteth none. The yonger women, and [Page 9] the elder; the rich, and poore; the noble, and base: are alike made liable to the performance of this duty. Tis not onely Ruth, that must be serviceable to her Booz; but even Vashti, though a mighty Empresse must know her Lord. Yea though there were never so great a disproportion betwixt them in state and in condition; as say the wife were a Princesse, the husband but a pesant, she must be yet in conjugall re­spects as a hand-mayd unto him; he must not be as a servant unto her. The du­tifull respect, which the glorious Virgin exhibited to Ioseph, is observed in Luke 2.48. by the couching of her words, in that shee [Page 9] sayth, Thy Father and I, not I and my father. Ego et Rex meus; I and my King; is un­supportable in the Poli­ticke, and no lesse is, I and my husband in the Oeco­nomickes. It was Assuerus his edict, and it is likewise Gods decree, that all wo­men, great and small, shall give their husbands ho­nour. For the husband is the wives head, Eph. 5.24. even as Christ is the head of the Church. As the Church therefore is subject unto Christ; so every wife must be to her husband.

1. The subjection of one Creature to an other in generall, is nothing else, if we consider it with relati­on unto God, but a divine disposing and subordina­ting of things lesse perfect, [Page 10] to such as are more perfect; that by this subjection they may receive what they want, and be forever gui­ded, and preserved in their course. Or if wee take it with respect to the crea­ture, which is made subject. It is inwardly a chearefull inclination; outwardly a ready application of the same, to that whereunto the wisedome of God him­selfe hath ordained, and appoynted it. And this sub­jection is so necessary, that without it the world could not long subsist; yea nature herselfe would suddenly be dissolved.

Things sublunary and terrestriall are all subject to the power, and influence of celesticall bodies, and [Page 11] being in their owne nature defective and ignoble, they must from them receive their due perfection. It is the earths subjecting of her selfe unto the Sunne, which first begets her fruites, and brings them afterwards to full maturity. It is the Oce­ans yeelding to the Moone, which occasioneth her dai­ly ebbes, and flowes, with­out which motion, the wa­ters thereof would quickly putrifie, and with their stench poyson the crea­tures. In a word there is no maintayning of any po­liticke society without this vertue.

Rule and subjection, saith the Philosopher, are things not onely profitable, but likewise absolutely necessa­rie. [Page 12] When the people will not obey the Prince; when the Mariner will not listen to the master; when the Souldier will not follow the directions of his Leader, what can follow but con­fusion? In the begin­ning GOD established a superiority among all the workes of his Hands, after their severall kindes. Hee made two great Lights; the one to rule the day, the lesser to rule the night: and afterwards when hee had created man; he did invest him presently into imperiall authority, To sub­due the earth, and to r [...]le over the Fishes of the Sea, Gen. 1. and over the Foules —

Bees have their Sove­raigne; & little Ants are not [Page 13] without their Discipline. In a word, wee reade of an Hoste in heaven, and why is it so called, but because there are orders and de­grees therein, which being withdrawne from an Army, it can have no setled com­position? There must bee then a Masterie, and domi­nion specially designed, to say, ‘Ho [...] puto non iustum est, il­lud malè, rectius istud.’ ‘This is not right, that is e­vill, & the other is better.’ This is the Soder, by which the severall parts and Mem­bers of a Common-weale are all united, and combi­ned together. 'Tis the very life-breath of every Crea­ture, [Page 14] which if the Spirit and Soule of government were taken from them, were like to prove nothing but a bur­den to themselves, a booty to their enemies. Maximili­an the Emperour, compa­ring the Kings of France and Spaine together with him­selfe, said wittily and merri­ly, that the King of Spaine was Rex hominum, a King of Men, because he used them ingenuously and liberally: The King of France, Rex A­sinorum, a King of As­ses, by reason of the many burdens and taxations which he laid upon his peo­ple; Himselfe, Rex Regum, a King of Kings, because all that were under him, would doe but what they pleased themselves: The best is, [Page 15] Rex Subditorum, a King of Subjects: And whosoever shall shake from off their necks this yoke, they pro­vide but ill for their owne good.

[...]; Obedience is the mother of all happinesse, saith the an­cient adage; and surely he that followes her shall shew a noble, and a generous minde. Facile imperium in bo­nos pessimus quisque asperrime rectorem patitur; Good men are easily govern'd, only the base and refractary spirit will admit no reines. Let the lawlesse Anabaptist therefore together with the ambitious Romanist cry out in Church, and Com­mon-weale, against the Gods and Christs of the [Page 16] Earth, as sometimes did those cursed Vipers among the Heathen, against the anointed Sonne of GOD; Let us breake their bonds in sunder, Psal. 2. and cast their cords from us. We must know yet that there is no Power but of God; and hee that resi­steth the Powers that bee, hee resisteth the ordinance of God. The Lord is King, be the earth never so impatient. Promotion commeth not either from the East, or from the West, or from the South, but wholly from the Lord. By him Kingdomes are disposed; Princes inau­gurated; Scepters and States established. By Him were Corah, Dathan, and Abiram with their Confede­rates sent downe alive into [Page 17] the darker bowels of the earth; by him was Zim­ri burnt in his Pallace, Achi­tophel hanged in a halter, and Absalom by his owne haire; all for denying their duteous fealtie to those whom hee had constituted and appointed over them, as his Vicegerents; And thus much concerning sub­jection in generall. The par­ticular followeth.

Wiues be subiect.

This subjection of the Wife unto her Husband consisteth principally in three things. The first is an internall Act of the heart; as when the Wife, notwith­standing shee come of a nobler house, and have brought with her a [Page 18] a greater portion, than she found, and know herselfe to be of a more able under­standing than her husband, she doth yet in her minde acknowledge him to be her head, counting herselfe every way inferiour unto him, in that she is his wife. This humbling of the heart is the fountaine of all ex­ternall subjection; And when it floweth not from hence, 'tis eyther con­strain'd, or counterfeit. For the avoyding of this, St. Paul would have the wife to feare her husband.Eph. 5.33. Now this may bee expressed di­vers kinds of waies.

1. By giving him reve­rend and respective titles: So Sarah obeyed Abraham, and cal'd him Lord: Non [Page 19] blandiendi con uetudine, sed hujus subjectio is testificandae voluntate; Not out of any soothing custome, but out of a serviceable conscience; And her daughters ye are, 1 Pet. 3.6. saith the Apostle, while ye doe well, not being compelled thereto by any terror.

2. It may be exprest, by living without suspition, and making ever the best interpretation of his doubt­full actions. Michol fayld in this, when so presump­tuously she taunted David for dancing before the Arke of God in presence of the mayds of Israel.

3. A woman may shew a feare towards her husband by striving to walke conti­nually under the lee of his anger, making her eye, ra­ther [Page 20] a Bucket to quench the fire, than her breath a Bellowes to kindle it.

2. This subjection of a wife towards her husband consisteth in a desire to conforme her will, her words, her workes, as neere as she can, in things law­full and indifferent to those of her husband. For like­nesse in manners argues a likenesse in minde; and there is no affectation of similitude, but where there is some similitude of Af­fection. This I confesse is a hard taske; but the more painefull, the more praisefull. It is hard, be­cause all are addicted to love their owne waies, to like of their owne hu­mours, [Page 21] and distaste the con­trary.

Oderunt hilares tristem, Hor. Epist. 18. lib. 1. tri­stem (que) jocosi, sayth the Poet: Mirth will not willingly come into the house of mourning, nor mourning into the house of mirth. Lamenting Niobe will sit alone; and Rahel weeping for her children will not be comforted. 'Tis a la­borious thing therefore for any to strip themselves of their owne disposition, and put on an others. 'Tis requisite yet for a wife to doe it: that which above all must bee com­mended in her. For as a looking-glasse, though it bee curiously wrought, and richly garnished with sundry sorts of gemmes, [Page 22] is nothing esteemed as it is a glasse, unlesse it re­flect the true resemblance of them, that looke therein: So let a woman be never so rich, never so faire, never so comely, never so quali­fyed, she is not to be valued as a wife, if she be not con­formable to the inclination of her husband. She that is married, sayth the Apostle, careth how she may please her husband. The word in the originall is [...]. .i. She makes it the serious object of all her thoughts, and endeavours; shee doth as it were pine her selfe by con­tinuall musing how it may be done. Now there is not a more compendious way, than to accommodate her­selfe unto him, and so to [Page 23] compose her owne affecti­ons, that they may answer to the levell of his.

3. The last thing where­ [...]n this subjection doth con­sist, is the daily and due per­formance of all such offices, and taskes as shee is lyable unto, Now the first of these is, to love him faithfully, Tit. 2.4. Not as Dalilah did Sampson, to betray him to his enemies. For the heart of her husband must trust in her. Not as Iezabel did Ahab, to abuse his power for the effecting of her base de­signes. Nor as Hieroboams wife did him; to doe that for his sake, which may provoke God to forsake her; but as Abigail did Nabal, 1 Sam. 25.18 to cast about for his good, all the daies of her life, She [Page 24] must love him, for she is his Ribb; yea the Ribb next to his heart, which is the seate of Love; and shee must love him faithfully.

The sex of women-kinde is compared by the Fathers to a dish of meate, w^ch be­fore the master of the Feast have carved up, every man at the table may say his part is in it, but being once cut up, looke what peece is laid upon the Trencher, is his alone, to whom it is delive­red.Prov. 12.4. A vertuous woman, saith Salomon is a crowne to her hus­band; but shee that maketh him ashamed is as rottennesse in his Bones. Marriage is a Love­knot of Gods own tying; she that breaketh it, forgets the Covenant of her maker. The Wife therfore must have a care, Pro. 2.16. [Page 25] Vt Thalamus sit pro Templo, & Thorus pro Altari; that her chamber bee continually sanctified by prayer as the Temple, and her bed kept undefiled as the Altar.

2. As shee must love him faithfully; soshe must adhere unto him constantly, what chances, and occurrences so ever happen. Wee reade of no dissention betwixt Iob and his Wife, so long as he lived in plenty, and was the greatest of all the inhabi­tants in the East, but as soon as he fell into disasters, shee was willing to bee ridd of him; Blaspheme the name of God, said shee, that thou maist dye. The ancient Germanes, though then a barbarous generation, did principle their wives at the very time [Page 26] of their marriage to a better practise.Lib. demo­ri [...]. Germ [...]. For as Tacitus re­lates it, they presented them then with two Oxen ready yoakt, a horse ready trapt, and weapons fit for use, to let them understand, that from thenceforth they were to share with them both at home, and abroad; in the paines of Peace, and in the perils of Warre.

So was Texene the wife of Agathocles affected, and so was Isabella likewise, sister to Charles the Emperour, and wife to Cristhierne King of Denmarke: For when his subiects had banisht him for his tyrannie, and would have conferred the Soveraignty onely upon her, she refused it, and chose rather to pine and perish [Page 27] with her husband in his ex­ile, than to live as Queene, and have an absolute com­mand without him. Aelian reports of Dionysius, L. 13. c. 10 that he married two wives upon one and the same day. Doris the Locrian, and Aristaeneta the daughter of Hipparinus, & sister unto Dion; the one followed him in his warres; the other accompanyed him onely at his returne. Christian Wives are not to expect this division of attendance; one alone must undergoe the burden of both. She takes her husband for richer, for poorer, and with a willing foote m [...]st pace it after him in either fortune.

Sulpitia, Patric. S [...]n li [...]. 4 de Rep. Tit. 5. notwithstanding the many strong perswasi­ons, [Page 28] which her mother dai­ly used unto her, and the watchfull eye she kept con­tinually upon her, made an escape, and followed her husband Lentulus, whom the Triumviri had proscri­bed into Sicilie, chusing ra­ther to abandon parents; kindred, Countrey, with all the pleasures and de­lights which many other wayes shee did enioy; than to loose the sweet content shee tooke in the societie of him.

The strange woman thinkes her selfe most hap­py when her husband is from home;Pro. 7.16. for then shee perfumes her bed, and decks her chamber with Aegypti­an Carpets, resembling in this the Moone, which al­wayes [Page 29] puts on a revelling countenance, when the Sunne is farthest from her; but Rebecca will not be seene out of her Isaac's company; like the Marigold, if the Sunne bee away, shee lives retired, and keepes her beautie canopied from the view of all things else. Lots wife was safe as she walked towards Segor, so long as her eye was fixed upon him, but as soone as she had turned her head aside to looke upon the wals of So­dome, she became a pillar of Salt. The daughters of Sparta, while they were maides, did goe continual­ly bare-faced, but after marriage a Vaile did cover all; and having no longer any need to seeke for hus­bands, [Page 30] but to keepe them­selves to those, which they had.

3. Shee must labour for him car [...]fully, in the gui­ding and governing of her Family, that he may have no need of spoile. Pro. 31.11. Shee must rise while it is yet night, and give the portion to her houshold, and the ordinary to her maides. Shee must over-see their wayes, and not eate the bread of idle­nesse. The Apostle will have her to love her children, & to keep at home. Tit. 2.4. Phidias, that excellent painter, being de­sired to draw the picture of a woman, drew her sitting under a Snails shel; to shew, that like the Snaile, she should ever have her house upon her head.De praecept. conjugal. Plutarch re­ports, [Page 31] that it was the man­ner of the Aegyptian wo­men, after marriage, never to use any shooes, to signi­fie that their businesse lay within, & there was no need they should outpasse those limits. Herodotus likewise writes, that among the Per­sians, whē the nuptials were once solemnized, the La­dies were carried home in charriots, which as soone as they were lighted out of them, and entred the house, were set on fire; intimating that after marriage, they were to ioy in their owne home, and to looke wholly to their Family. And this as it is a happinesse to their husbands, so it is an honour to themselves.

It is a Proverbe amongst the French; Bonne femme & bon marriage se dit, non de qui l'est, mais duquel on se taist; The best women, and the best mar­riages are those, which are so silently carried at home, that the world hath no occasion to talke of them abroad. To hear­ten them up therefore a little the better to this sub­jection, we will propound some certaine motives by which they may bee stirred and incited hereunto; and afterwards shew them the inbred letts, and impedi­ments; which may withhold [Page 33] them from it. The Motives are of divers kindes.

The first is taken from the Institution of GOD, himselfe, which is not any way to bee controlled: And surely religious Obedience will never stand to discusse the Commandements of God, but doe them. Hee said to Eve, and it must bee as an ordinance to all her daughters for ever,Gen. 3.16. Thy de­sire shall bee subiect to thy hus­band, and he shall ruleover thee. So that to deny this subje­ction, is to resist the Coun­sell of the Highest.

The second from the na­turall imperfection of the woman, not onely in her corporall parts; but in those likewise, which are intelle­ctuall; Shee is weake [...] and [Page 34] lesse able to govern, and de­fend herself, than man. Now according to S. Anselme, Haec in dominationibus & servitu­tibus clara iustitia est, In locum. ut qui excellunt ratione, excellant et dominatione. Law, and equi­ty require, that they, which excell in reason, should ex­ceed in rule.2 Ep. 3.7. But St. Peter cals women, the weaker ves­sels; and the Philosopher saith, that the vertue and ability wherewith they stand endowed is [...],Pol. 1. [...].8, such as speakes them to be subjects, and not sove­raignes.

A third is taken from her transgression. It was she that violated the Com­mandement and afterwards allured her husband to par­take with her in the fault: [Page 35] tis but justice therfore, that from thenceforth the wife should obey the husband, considering the husband did miscarry by obeying the wife, and this is a rea­son which the Apostle al­leadgeth; I permit not, saith he, a woman to teach, but to keepe silence with all subiecti­on. For Adam was not de­ceived, but the woman was deceived, and was in the transgression. 1 Tim. 2.14.

A fourth is deduced from the inconveniencie, which may follow upon the resi­stance of Gods ordinance, by the deniall of this subje­ction. For as in nature upon the interruption of her due & ordinary course, thun­ders, inundations, earth­quakes, and other such like [Page 36] fearefull and disastrous ac­cidents doe happen; So in a family upon the stoppage of this duty, there aryseth nothing but brawles, and contentions, which like im­petuous thunder shake the very rafters, and threaten the whole house with fi­nall dissolution. Feare and jealousie like an earthquake split their bosomes, and disunite their hearts, and their affections. To con­clude, the many miseries which proceed from hence occasion many teares, by w^ch as by a generall deluge, the sweet content, which might be taken in one anothers love, is utterly washt away. But this may suffice; I will therefore passe from the motives, which should [Page 37] allure them, and come to speake of the lets and Im­pediments, which may keepe them from the per­formance of this duty.

The first is a proud con­ceit of her owne nobili­ty, beauty, riches, wise­dome, and the like; in regard whereof she vilifies her husband, and thinkes him every way unworthy to have any rule or autho­rity over her, Of such the heathen Satyrist.

Tis better to match into a poore stocke, than into a proud. Assuerus will avouch, that the lowly Esther is to be preferred before the lofty Vashti. Marcus Aurelius was taught by wofull experi­ence, that he who marri­eth onely for wealth, ac­cording to that of Menan­der, ‘ [...],’ takes not her into his pro­tection but sels himselfe in­to her subjection.

Alexander the great chose rather to marry the wise Barsyne without a dowry, than the daughter of Dari­us with part of his King­dome. Licurgus made a law that no portion should be given, or taken in the wa [...] of matrimony ut viri virtu­tem Conjugis, no [...] opes quaere­rent, that men might mar­ry for worth rather than wealth, and women study the more to furnish them­selves with all good vertues and abilities. But no [Page 40] such lawes are now in be­ing. That this impediment therefore may be removed; let them call to minde, that the superiority which man hath over the woman is founded upon Gods ordi­nance,Psal. 2. and is not to bee weakened or infringed by any such accessory causes. Againe let them know, that there is no greater argu­ment of folly, than to wax proud eyther of outward trappings, or of inward truths. We judge the emp­tinesse of a vessell by the lowdnesse of the sound. Brasse tinckleth more then Gold; And a Bladder is soone blowne up; but when it is most swolne, there is nothing in it, but a little ayre. Last of all let them [Page 41] understand, that such con­ceits proceede from the devill, who as he stirred up Eve by the infusion of this venome to eate of the for­bidden fruite; so would he stirre up the daughters of Eve, by an instillation of the same poyson, to shake from off their neckes that yoke of subjection, which is impos'd upon them even by God himselfe.

The second is a defect of love. For where this is in a wife, she will be quickly tutour'd to obedience. Af­fection, like a painted glasse makes every thing seeme of the same colour which is seene through it. No blemish but will appeare a beauty being look'd upon with these spectacles. But [Page 42] where this is wanting the woman neither knowes, nor cares to please her hus­band. — maritum

Convomit — as the Poet speakes. The sight of him makes her sicke; and as it followes, ‘Morte viri cupit haec animam servare catellae.’ Were it put to her choyse; she had rather hee should die, than that her puppy should miscarry. Now this hapneth, when eyther the parents will enforce their daughters out of temporall respects to marry where they doe not like, not as­king, as Bethuel did Rebec­cah, Gen. 24, 57 their consent unto the businesse: O [...]hen them­selves ma [...]e their choyce not in the Lord, nor for [Page 43] the love of vertue, but one­ly to satisfie eyther their ambition, or their cove­tousnesse, or their curio­sity, by matching eyther for honour, riches or come­linesse. Marriage is a buil­ding, the morter of it must not bee untempered; but such it is, when vertue, and the feare of God is not re­garded eyther in the con­traction or consummation of the same. For if it be beauty, a showre of sicknes shall wash it away; if ho­nour, the breath of envie like a burning winde shall blast it; if riches, poverty shall quite dissolue it. Let who so marrieth therefore, marry in the Lord. Let it be Virtus, and not Venter; Deus, and not Dos; faith, [Page 44] and not favour: God, and not goods, that brings them both together. The end of lustful conjunction was the deluge, and where money must tie the knot, it will quickly breake. For non amatur, quod propter se non amatur. True love is farre from any side-respects. And where there is no love, there will be no sub­jection.

The third, and last, is a fond and foolish affectation of all sorts of vanities, by which this conjugall sub­jection is not onely hin­dred, but the administrati­on of the family is likewise altogether neglected. For such a one will first of all be continually gadding: Her feete, like the strange wo­mans [Page 45] in Prov. 7. can not abide in the house; with Dinah shee must out to see the daughters of the countrey, though the losse of her chastity be the re­compence of her curiosity. It were barbarous uncivili­ty shee thinkes, to misse a new play at the Blackefryers, or any other spectacles of pleasure, and delight. Se­condly, being a gadder, she can not but prove a waster, Spectatum veniunt, veniunt spectentur ut ipsae. The end of such, is as well to be seene themselves, as to have the sight of others. And hence it is, that some like the Tortois carry their whole house upon their backe. Singulis auribus bina aut terna patrimonia depen­dent, [Page 46] saith Se [...]. Benes. l. 7. c. 9. Yee may see whole Lordships han­ging at eyther eare. And as Tertullian speakes,De habitu­mul. cap. 9. Saltus et insulas tenera cervix fert. Though their necke, like Ephraeims bee soft and ten­der, so many Acres yet of wood pasture, and arable are about it, as would pinch the shoulders of Atlas to support them.

Some againe, to appeare more pleasing, taxing God as it were of defect in his workemanship, spend their revenues in Oyles, and Druggs to set an adulterate glosse upon their naturall complection. The whole course of their life is but Pompa quaedam histrionica; Patri [...]. sen. lib. 4. tit. 5. a kinde of Stage-pompe, so pargeted, and so disguised [Page 47] on every side, that their Maker at the day of judge­ment will disclaime them to be the worke of his hands. But according to Tertul. had women onely so much faith on earth, as they doe hope for benefit from hea­ven, they would not affect any outward glory, but ra­ther humble themselves in sackecloth, and in ashes, and goe mourning all the daies of their life, as desiring any kinde of way to expiate that great transgression of their grandmother.

In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children,Gen. 3.16. and thy desire shall bee subject to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee; Et Evam te esse nescis? Twas Gods de­cree, and is not yet repea­led, [Page 48] for the guilt which pro­cured it, is not as yet remo­ved. Thou O woman, art the gate by which death entred into the world, thou art she that didst first breake the covenant of thy Maker. The devill could not have prevailed against man, but thorough thy perswasions. 'Twas thy ambition, which defaced this glorious Image of thy Creator. In a word, 'twas thy desert which brought the Lord of life to suffer death upon an igno­minious Crosse, and canst thou minde the painting of thy Fig-leafe coate? Sup­pose the Needle-worke of Tyre, and the Embroydery of Babylon, with other such like Ornaments had beene from the beginning; would [Page 49] Eve, thinke yee, have ever desired them at her expul­sion out of Paradise? Nor ought shee now in thee, if shee be willing to revive, eyther covet, or know the things, which while shee lived, she neyther had nor knew.

A wise woman, sayth Salo­mon, Prov. 14.1. helpeth to build up the house; Shee is a foole then, that will pull it downe with her owne hands. Consuming her hus­bands substance eyther in clothes or colours for the embellishing of her earthly Tabernacle. Such accesso­ry complements are rather beames in his eyes, than any way baites to his af­fections. — Moechis foliata parantur, Iuv. S [...]t. 6. sayth the [Page 50] Satyrist. They are onely lures to bring the Adulte­rer to fist. Chaste thoughts will never stoope to such enticements. Poppea, the wife of Nero, drew upon herselfe a perpetuall brand of ignominy, and reproach, quod cuti nimium indulserit: in that all her care, and cost was for the daily reparati­on of a borrowed beauty. And when all is done, that may be done in this kind:

Shee therefore that desi­reth truely to pranke, and paint her selfe as she ought, let her borrow the white that must embellish her cheeks from simplicity, the red from chastity: Let her pendants be the word, and the chaine about her necke, the Crosse of Christ. Let sanctity bee the silke that clotheth her, and this sub­jection will bee the onely Iewell of her glory. For to conclude, Tal ter pigmenta­ta, Deum hab [...]bit an atorem; [Page 52] being thus set out, the God of Heaven shall court her beauty. And thus from the duty, we will passe to the persons to whom it is to be tendred. Wives bee sub­iect.

[...], To your owne Husbands.

The word is without any restriction, and shewes that every husband is to expect this duty from his wife; the poore as well as the rich; the foolish as well as the wife, the froward as well as the kinde; and she let her bee what shee will, must freely tender it. First, by subscribing to his admo­monitions. Secondly, by suffering her selfe in all [Page 53] things to be guided by his advise. As touching the first.

The husband is Gods mouth, and in harkning to him, she harkneth to God in him; as on the other side, in contemning him, she contemneth God, and the ordinance of God in him, Though the husband therefore should chance as many times it hapneth, to finde fault, where there is no cause, she must remem­ber yet, that the property of an ingenious dispositi­on is, Ibi culpam agnoscere, ubi culpa non est: sometimes for the avoyding of farther tumult, to acknowledge a fault where none is, and be ready to alter what is done, as if it had beene otherwise [Page 54] done, than it ought. For according to that of St. Peter, 1 Ep. 2.20. If when we doe well, we suffer wrong, and take it pati­ently, this is acceptable to God. Now as touching the o­ther.

The husband is called the Wives guide. Pro. 2 17. And there­fore nothing must be done but by his direction. Sarah would not so much as turne her servant Hagar out of dores without Abrahams consent: neyther would Rebeccah send away her sonne Iacob without Isaacs advise. Iezabel signed her purposes with Ahabs seale; and Esther wrote her letters in Assu [...]rus his name. The voyce of a Trumpeter is nothing so sweet, so shrill, or so strong [Page 55] as when it soundeth from out the Trumpet. Mans mouth must bee the Or­gan, by which the woman speakes,Maritus, Sermo; Ʋxor, Auricula. Aug. if she desire that her words should carry with them any weight, cre­dit, or authority. His hand, and seale must be to all her actions. A river, so long as the course thereof is gui­ded by the bankes, runneth pleasantly, and with de­light; but when once it dis­daines those bounds, and out of a swelling pride will have a larger liberty, it hurteth others and defi [...]es it selfe. Rosewater in a glasse is cleare, and sweet; but being let out it gathe­reth filth, and loseth both the colour, and the sent. Mans experience is wo­mans [Page 56] best eye-sight, and she that rejecteth it, is like a seeled Dove, soares hie for a while, but at length comes tumbling downe, and lights in a puddle. Wives therefore bee subject [...], to your owne hus­bands.

In that hee saith to hu­bands, he excludeth forni­cators; and in that he saith, to your owne husbands, he barres adulterers. Some count no yoke heavy, but that which in duty they are bound to beare;

Like the Lamprie, they hasten to the hissing of the Viper, they make what speed they can to the call of their Lovers; let these im­pose what taske they will, it shall bee readily under­gone; but if their husbands command, it shall be done at leasure. Some one occa­sion or other shall still pro­rogue the performance. All their indeavours are to en­deere themselves to these. [Page 58] But let such listen to what the Lord saith; Though thou cloth thy selfe with scarlet, Es. 4.30. though thou decke thy selfe with ornaments of gold though thou paint thy face with colours, yet shalt thou trimme thy selfe in vaine, for in the end thy Lovers shall abhorre thee,, and seeke thy life. And then shalt thou say with that harlot in Hos. 2.7. I will goe and returne to my husband, for at that time was I better, than now. This must bee the finall Rendez-vous after all her straglings. That which Martiall prophesies of Dento in the Epigramme, will truely, bee accompli­shed in her.

To prevent which, and all other the like inconvenien­ces, Let Wives bee subiect [...], to their owne hus­bands. And thus having spoken of the persons to whom this duty must bee tendered, wee will now touch at the Manner how it must be tendred.

The word in the Origi­nall is diversly translated.

1. As ye ought. V [...]oportet. And so it is a Reason drawne from Gods institution. Yee must doe it.

[Page 62] Vt convenit2. As is meet. What avai­leth it the body to have all the Members, if the head bee gone? The Spokes of a Wheele must be all united into one Nave, or it will never serve for motion. Who would not looke to have the world confoun­ded, when he should see the Moone in a higher Orbe, than the Sunne? GOD hath disposed all things to the best; this being there­fore his ordinance, it is meet that Wives should bee subiect to their owne husbands.

3. Vt decet, Vt decet. as it is comely. There are 3. things, saith Salomon, Pro. 30.29. that order well their going; yea foure are comely in th [...]ir going; A Lion, which is st [...]ong among beasts, & turneth not at the sight of any; a lustie [Page 63] Grey-hound, and a Goate, and a King, against whom there is no ri [...]ing up. To these I may add for a fift, a woman that is subject to her husband. For beautie is vanitie, and favour is deceitfull, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall bee praysed. And thus much concerning the Manner how this Duty must be tendered; the limi­tation followeth.

[...]: In the Lord.

In the Lord, .i. not abso­lutely, or promiscuously, but so farre forth as faith­full, and Christian women may lawfully doe it. Sic pla­ceat uxor voluntati Coniugis. saith S. Greg. Vt non displi­ceat voluntati Conditoris: She [Page 64] must not so please her Mate, as to displease her Maker. If the husband will have the wife at any time to doe that which is ill; S. Pe­ter doth furnish her with an answer:Act. 5.29. We ought to obey God rather than Men. And thus having treated of the wives duty towards her husband; we will now speake of the Husbands towards the wife. in which though I shall not peradventure enlarge my selfe so farre as in the for­mer, that shall bee no occa­sion yet of exception. For what it wants in the Bulke shall bee found peradven­ture in the Ballance.

The Husbands duty towards the Wife.

THE Apostle sets it out. 1. By way of Affir­mation, Hus­bands love. 2. By way of Negation, Be not bitter. As touching the former.

The word love hath rela­tion there, not onely to the inward Affect, but like­wise to the outward Ef­fect, as may be easily colle­cted out of Ephesians 5.25. [Page 68] Where the love of Christ towards his Church is pro­pounded as a patterne for imitation unto Husbands; Husbands love your wives, e­ven as Christ loved the Church, and gave himselfe for it; [...] denotes the one; [...] the other. So that the first thing here required in the Husband, is an Affect of love. The Fathers ob­serve out of Deu. 33.9. That Levi regarded not his Fa­ther, nor his mother; hee knew not his Dutie either upwards or downwards, to Children or to parents, it was not said yet, nescivit ux­orem; that he did not respect his wife. So that the wife is to be preferred before all. The Hebrewes alledge for it a fourfold reason.

[Page 69]1. Shee is nearer to him, than a child to his Father. For shee is actually Bone of his Bones, and flesh of his flesh, whereas the child is proper­ly neither, but in possibility.

2. Children are but the fruit of the Loynes, and the wombe; she is the Rib next the Heart.

3. The liker any thing is, the more it is loved. Man loves his Child, tanquam ali­quid sui, his wife, tanquam se. And indeed Man and Wife are like those two Branches in the hand of the Prophet, so closed together into one Barke,Ez. 37.17. that they grow to be one tree, and beare both but one fruit. So therefore ought men to love their Wives, saith the Apostle;Eph. 5.28. as their owne bodies. He that lo­veth [Page 70] his wife, loveth him­selfe.

4. Adam, say the Iewes, was a husband before hee was a father; and for these Reasons the Wife is more to be loved than the Child. But they speake best, who say this Bond is supernatu­rall, and like a miracle. For it is a hard matter to part from our parents. Ruth. 1.16. Rebecca yet leaves all to goe with Isaac, and Zippo­rah though a Midianite, did the like for Moses.

There is a threefold Glue, by which Man and Wife are joyned and combined together; The one is natu­rall, the other civill, but the third divine. By the first, man cleaveth to his wife, as a living creature; By the [Page 71] second, as a man; By the third as a Christian man. The naturall marriage is for issue onely; the civill, as that of the Heathen, for strength and helpe in hous­hold affaires; but the Glue, which conjoyneth Christi­ans, is Vertue, and the Feare of God. Men by nature, like Beasts couple to haue chil­dren: Civill marriages are true but not perfect.

Tis the great Dowry proves the golden dart; or if not so, ‘— facias, non uxor amatur.’ Onely the Feature, and not the Creature is beloved.

All affection is presently unglued; but the marriage of Christians is every way compleat. For first, It is pleasantly good in regard of issue. Secondly, profita­bly good, in respect of sup­ply: But last of all, and which is best of all. 3. [Page 73] It is honestly good, because it aims at a holy seed. Reasō hath no hand in it, farther than it is sanctified by reli­gion; and where this Soder is, no fire can dissolve it.

It is an Axiome among the French, Que la femme faict, ou des faict la maison; That the woman usually is either the marrer or maker of the house: A man had need therefore to bee very wary, that the setling of his affections may never prove a disparagement to his judgement; which cannot but happen, when hee shall looke upon the Object with other Spectacles, than God allowes of.

Charles VI. of France, be­ing desirous when hee was but sixteene yeares of age, [Page 74] to entertaine a Consort in­to his royall Bed, advised with his Vncle the D. of Anion, who led with poli­tike respects married him to Isabella, daughter of the D. of Bavaria, that he might bee the better able to make head against the Emperour Wenceslius, who notwith­standing outward shewes did looke upon his estate with no friendly eye. And it was a match which in the judgmēt of men, promised a great deale of good both to the king and kingdome; But marke how the Divine Iu­stice crosseth the designes of those, that relie more upon their owne wisedome, than upon his Will; This hope­full Lady in a little time ex­pressed such an imperious, [Page 75] and tumultuous dispositi­on, that she became a bur­den unto both, having ex­posed them to so many for­raigne broyles, and home­bred partialities, that if her selfe had not dyed in a hap­py time for the Kingdome it must of necessity have ex­pired as did the King.

He therefore, that would love his wife, must be care­full in his choice; and not either Ar [...]thmetick or Geome­try; Portion or Proportion; or any other the like syde-respects to be Agents in the businesse. Hee must looke more to her Manners, than her meanes; and wish her Faithfull rather than Faire. Men marry not in love, but when they marry in the Lord. Beauty is a good out­side, [Page 76] and Vertue is more to bee esteemed, when it is so set out, than when we see it in an ill-favoured crea­ture, like a pearle in a dung­hill. Rachel was preferred even for this, by holy Iacob, before the bleare-ey'd Leah. Tertullian cals it, Foelicitatem corporis, The happinesse of the body; Divinae plasticae accessio­nem, A flourish set upon Gods owne worke; & Animae vestem urbanam, A comely garment for the Soule. But without Grace it cannot be counted gracefull. Shee that hath only this ornament, is at the best but a painted Sepul­chre; Sepulchrum quasi Semi­pulchrum; faire without, but full of rottennesse within.

Woman was made when Adam was a sleepe, to shew [Page 77] that in matter of wiving we should bee consopitis sensibus, content to have our senses Charmed, and not be led herein by any outward At­tractives.Pro. 19.14. A good wife com­meth from the Lord; and therefore all sinister affecti­ons being lulled a sleepe, he should beg her at the hands of GOD onely. But say a man have erred in his choice, his Folly must not free him from this duty.

Every Adam must love his Eve.

1. In regard of her effi­ci [...]nt cause, which was the Lord himselfe, who made her with a great deale of so­lemnity, for the honour and dignity of man; and were it not for her society, what would hee bee, but a [Page 78] companion for the Hedge­hogge, and the Owle? The glory and the grace, which d [...]rived upon him from her, is most elegantly ex­pressed by divine Du Bartas, in the sixt day of the week; where hee saith, that with­out her

I will not prejudice our [Page 79] worthy Silvester so much, as to translate them my selfe, but will give you his.

2. Hee must love her in respect of the Matter, whereof shee is composed; Shee was made of a Bone, which is a most inward part of the Body; and shewes that the love betwixt man and wife must not be super­ficiall, but entire, and in­ward. When the Hebrewes would say, I my selfe; they expresse it by a word, which doth signifie, I my selfe in my Bones.

3. In regard of the forme, and manner of her making. God built her, and in this hee shewed a precedent of his double power; The power of his Creation in making the Heavens of no­thing, [Page 80] and his power of Workmanship and Art in making Eve of something. Man can turne Clay into stone, mould into Metall, Ferne roots into Glasse; hee can build a faire house, but no living house: This is a prerogative belonging one­ly to the Highest. He turned a Ribb into Flesh, a Bone into a Body; that man might have an Ivory Pal­lace wherein to recreate his best Affections. Husbands therfore must love their wives

4. And lastly, the Wife is to be loved in regard of the End, for which shee was made; and this was to bee a meet helpe. Without her man is lame, and will hee slight the staffe that should support him? But come we frō the Affect to the Effect.

Probatio dilectionis exhibitio operis, saith S. Gregory, wee cannot search into the Reines, and must therefore collect by outward Chara­cters, what the heart doth inwardly conceive. Now these are principally three. The first is, peaceably to co­habitate with his wife. Sa­lomon requires it by way of Precept;Pro. 5.19. Rejoyce with the wife of thy youth, let her be unto thee as the loving Hinde, and plea­sant Roe; let her Brests satisfie thee at all times, and delight in her love continually.

Againe, Christ exacts it by way of Precedent: For such is his love towards the Church our mother; Hee doth at no time with­draw from her his sweet so­cietie; I am with you alwayes [Page 82] untill the end of the world. Mat. c. [...]ult. [...]ult. Yea, the very heathen Philosopher condemnes that man of base injustice, that shall count stolne waters sweete, and abandon his wife for company of the strange wo­man. That opinion there­fore, or indeed impiety of Aelius Verus the Emperour, is utterly to bee exploded, who when his Empresse complained unto him for looser rangings, would al­wayes tell her, that Wife was a name of dignity, not of delight. For according to Aristotle in his Oeconomicks; Lib. 1. c. 7. [...]: What can be more injurious [...]o a woman, han to deprive her of her nuptiall Rites?

Some yet upon every tri­viall and imaginarie discon­tent will seeke a separation, but this as it savours of in­discretion, so is it not free from danger. For first Di­vorce in the Hebrew is called, [...], which signifies a Sawing. Now no man saw­eth off his Arme or Legge, but upon great necessity. If a man have the dead palsie in some part of his Body, he will not presently cut it off, unlesse it putrifie some o­ther part. The wife may bee put away for Adulterie, because shee is then rotten flesh. But where this occasi­on doth not happen; art thou married? Seeke not to bee loosed, but abide in the Calling, whereunto GOD hath called thee. Conjun­ctio [Page 84] à Deo est; divortium à Diabolo; sayth St. Aug. God delights in union; the di­vell alone is the authour of division. The wife was made of a bone, and it was not a bone out of the legge, or a bone out of the arme, which a man may lose, and yet live; but a ribbe, which cannot be taken away with­out death; to shew that his love should continue, till death them depart.

Againe, Vnum corpus in duobus locis simul esse non po­test: The head, and the bo­dy cannot bee severed but with destruction to them both. 'Tis true that need­full occasions may often times procure long ab­sence; but when want of love doth not cause it, 'tis [Page 85] no other than that of the Sunne from the Marigold: She mournes, as being de­prived of his presence, but he maintaines her being by his influence. And thus much of the first effect, by which the love of a hus­band towards his wife is outwardly to bee ex­prest.

The second is to teach, and instruct her according to his ability in all such things as may conduce to the well-leading of this life, or the obtaining of a better. For therefore is he called in holy writ, the head of the wife: And to him the Apostle sends her, as to her houshold tutor. If they desire sayth he, to learne any thing, let them aske their husbands [Page 6] at home. The husband must therfore labour after know­ledge, that he may prove unto her, not a head of Brasse; a head, which hath a tongue, but cannot spe [...]ke.

Ischiomar in Xenophon was wont to desire the Gods first to enable him to teach that which is good, and then to give his wife the grace to learne it. A pra­ctise, which may well be­seeme the greatest Christi­an. For so, as they have but one Table, they shall likewise have but one Tem­ple; as they fleepe in one bed, they shall serve but one Altar.

The third is to provide for all her necessary uses, allowing her that, which [Page 87] the Apostle doth exact victum, et vestitum honestum; honest meanes and mainte­nance. The wife is the vine, and the husband must shew himselfe an elme in her sup­port. Like the Moone she must receive from him as from the Sunne, that bright­nes which is fit. He is worse than an infidell, that pro­videth not for his family; can he bee lesse then, that provideth not for his wife, the chiefe in the family next himselfe?

What shall we say then of such, as in a riotous and desbauched course consume the dowry, which their wives have brought, and then turne them out like Hagar; to shift for them­selves? Are they not like [Page 88] those, that take great paines for the getting of Nuts, but having eaten the kernell, they cast away the shell? Againe, what shall we say of those, that live upon their wives labour, and carelesly waste, what they industriously doe gather? The Moone sure borrowes not her light from the Sunne, but the Sunne from the Moone. The husband is clothed with the spoyles of his wife; an order as pro­digious, as preposterous. In a word, what shall we thinke of those, who notwithstan­ding, they have a sufficient estate, are very sparing of it towards their wives, not considering, that they are equally to share with them in eyther fortune. The [Page 89] Roman Law-giver orday­ned that the married couple should at no time give any thing one unto the other; intimating, that whatsoe­ver eyther had, was to bee held in common. And in­deed according to St. Chry­sostome; Quomodo dicis meum, et tuum, cum et ipse ejus es? When thou thy selfe art hers, all must be lik [...]wise so, that thou accountest thine.

The fourth effect is to conceale her weakenesses, and imperfections: He must not tell them in Gath, nor yet divulge them in the streets of Ascalon, whereby to make the daughters of the Philistins rejoyce. Noevus etiam in vultu Veneris. The fairest face is not without [Page 90] some mole: But love endu­reth all things. A man had he some ulcer about his owne body, he would not willingly disclose it, unlesse it were to some speciall friend for advise; or to a Chirurgion for recovery. And surely as unwilling would hee bee to discover his wives defects, did he but consider, that shee is his owne flesh, and whatso­ever dirt hee casteth in her face, it doth defile his owne. And thus having past the affirmative part of this duty, Husbands love your wives; we will now come to the nega­tive; Bee not bitter unto them.

The word is metapho­ricall, and taken from unsa­vory meates, which vexe the palate, and oppresse the stomacke; the Apostle useth it, to shew that a husbands conversation to­wards his wife should bee full of sweetnesse, and farre from all austerity and se­verenesse. S^t. Ambrose writes of the Viper,Hexam. l. 5. cap. 7. that as soone as hee spies the Lamprie, after whose kinde embraces hee is infinitely fyred, ap­proaching towards him, he doth immediately disgorge himselfe of all his venome, that nothing may impeach the pleasure, and delight, which each of them expect [Page 92] by their encounter: And would have husbands the like affected towards their wives. Doth she provoke thee unto love, saith hee? answere her kinde endea­vours, and though thy nature be harshe and stub­borne, let the contempla­tion yet of that honourable state, in which thou art linkt unto her, uncurbe thy angry countenance, and set a milde aspect up­on thy brow. Vipera vene­num suum fundit, & tu non poteris duritiam mentis depo­nere? Shall the serpent lay by his poyson, and wilt not thou unburden thy selfe of thy perversenesse?

God made her for a meet helpe. Auxiliator in opportu­nitatibus est Deus. The Lord [Page 93] is a refuge in due time. The Iewes say there is a helpe à Capite; Psal. 9.9. Dan. 10.13 and so the Angels helpe us from above; an o­ther à Pede; so every Beast of the field; and every Fish in the sea, and every Foule in the ayre are at our command, and helpe, one to defend us, an other to clothe us; a third to carry us; But this helpe is à Ia­tere. No Angell, his place was too high: No beast; theirs was too low; but a helpe from the side of man, neyther higher, nor lower than himselfe; A meete helpe.

Meete in regard of sex. The Heavens send downe their influence, and the earth receiveth it. The Sunne by his heate cheri­sheth [Page 94] the Plants, and the Moone like a Mother suck­leth them with her moy­sture. Man might have hel­ped man in labour and con­ference, but the woman hath a wombe, and breasts, and is a meete helpe for the conceiving, and conser­ving of children: By this helpe he may be furnished with such as shall be able to helpe him both in peace and warre; and underprop him in his weaker age, like pillars of Brasse, against all paines and perils whatso­ever.

Againe, shee is a meete helpe in respect of oe­conomicall imployments. Man goeth abroad about his affaires, the woman stayes at home, and orders [Page 95] the houshold: She over­lookes it with a carefull eye, and will not eate the bread of idlenesse; her children rise up, and call her blessed; and her husband shall also have occasion to praise her. For as a quiet port is to a weather-beaten ship, even such is she to him, when he returneth being tyred with his toyle. Like a kinde Re­beccah shee provides him pleasant meate, such as he loveth.Gen. 27.9. The odoriferous Mandrakes grow within her garden, together with all sweet things, and with the Spouse she reserveth them onely for his refreshment.Cant 7. ult Whatsoever therefore his naturall condition bee, it behooveth him so to tem­per it, that as the Sunne [Page 96] doth by the Moone, he may never approach her, but with an intent to make her still more lightsome in her countenance.

De praecep­tis conjugal.The very heathen, accor­ding to Plutarchs relation, were wont in all their sa­crifices unto nuptiall Iuno to take the gall from out the creature, and to cast it behind the Altar; intima­ring that in wedlocke there should bee no bitternesse. The sharpenesse of a hus­band should be like that of wine, profitable and plea­sing, not like that of Aloes, loathsome and unsavory to the stomacke.

'Twas Platoes counsell to Xenocrates, a man of a severe and sowre composition, but otherwise endowed with [Page 97] many vertues, that hee should sacrifice unto the graces: And it is my advise to all such husbands, as are of the like nature, to doe the like. Raine, when it descends from Heaven, like a gentle dew, doth sweeten all things, that it fals upon; but when it commeth with stormy vio­lence, it causeth inundati­tions, which beare downe all, that standeth in their way. The clouds of discon­tent, which happen betwixt man and wife, like those of Aprill, should no sooner grow, but presently dis­solve into fruitfull shewrs, which should produce in eythers bosome farre sweeter Roses, and more fragrant Violets than ever [Page 98] grew in them before. But this can never bee, where bitternesse doth rayse the vapour. It is a fiery exha­lation, which finding it selfe on every side enviro­ned with a coldnesse of af­fection, breakes forth at length into lightning, and thunder, to the finall disso­lution of the whole house. Let husbands therefore love their wives, and not bee bitter unto them. But for our better proceeding in this point, wee will consider, First, what this bitternesse is. Secondly, How it must be avoyded. Thirdly, and lastly, the reasons, why. As concerning the first.

1. It is eyther inward, or outward. Inward bitter­nesse consisteth in the af­fections, [Page 99] and shewes it selfe, when the husband upon every triviall errour, and slight offence committed by his wife, is presently so exasperated against her, that thereupon hee begins eyther absolutely to hate her; or at least to love her in a remisse, and carelesse manner: And being thus affected, though hee ney­ther doe, or say unto her any thing that is ill; hee takes away yet by his low­ring lookes the sweetnesse of the nuptiall life, and wounds with griefe and dis­content the heart of her, that should be unto him as the loving Hind, & as the plea­sant Roe.

The second is outward, and consisteth eyther in [Page 100] bitter words, or bitter deeds. As touching the former. The tongue, saith St. Iames, is a world of wicked­nesse. The rider commands his horse as he pleaseth with a little bit. The Pilot turnes his ship with a small rud­der; The Lyon, and the Tiger may be tamed, but the tongue can no man checke. Tis an unruly evill, and full of deadly poyson: It fyreth the whole course of nature, and is it selfe set on fire of hell. Facile volat, sayth one, et ideo fa­cile violat; Tis swift of wing, and therefore swift to wound. Eliphaz cals it a scourge. Iob 5.21. Psal. 57.4. David a sharpe sword. Twas with this, that satan gave such a blow to Adam, even in the state of inno­cency, [Page 101] that both himselfe and his posterity were quite confounded with the wound. Twas with this, that he made, in a manner the whole Host of Israel to fall as they marched thorow the wildernesse. In a word, 'twas with this, that hee did more worry the Sonne of God, and Saviour of the world, than with all the fa­tall engines that spitefull, and malicious cruelty could possibly produce besides. For neyther the crowne of Thornes, wherewith his cursed enemies empaled his tender browes, nor the boystrous fists, wherewith they buffeted his lovely cheekes; nor yet the whips, wherewith they ploughed his flesh from up the bones, [Page 102] and made deep furrowes in his backe, no nor the speare, wherewith they lanched his heart, could extort from out his mouth the least complaint. The Lambe en­dur'd with patience these assaults, and did not shrinke a whit in undergoing them. But when he heard his Dei­ty traduced, and reviled by their opprobrious, and ma­lignant tongues, hee was forced to cry out, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? He that was Armour of proofe, against all other invasions, found himselfe gored to the inmost soule with this. The Kingly Pro­phet therefore not without just cause, made his Prayer unto the Lord: that he would protect him ab aspero verbo, Psal. 91. [Page 103] from the cruell word. And in­deed a soft and tender dis­position is sooner woun­ded, and more sorely with a cruell word; than the body can be with a cruell weapon. Let the husband therefore take heed, that hee wound not the wife of his bosome with these words.

The later kinde of exter­nall bitternesse is exprest in deeds. As when the hus­band not understanding what belongs to conjugall society, doth in every thing so curbe, and restraine the desires of his wife, as if she were his vassall, a thing not sutable to the institution of marriage. For when God brought Eve unto Adam, he did not present her as a ser­vant [Page 104] or a slave, but as a com­panion, and a helper. Non es Dominus, saith St. Am­brose, sed maritus. Thou art to be her love,Hexam. l. 5. cap. 7. and not her Lord: she is to be thy wife, and not thy mayd. Guber­natorem te esse voluit sexus in­ferioris, non Tyrannum praepo­tentem. His will and plea­sure was, that thou shouldst be a guide, and not a tyrant to the inferiour sex. Now tyranny may be exercised over the wife divers kinds of waies.

1. By denying her any rule, or soveraignety in the house, and not suffering her so much as to command her maides: nay perad­venture subjecting her to them; But this is contrary to the ordinance of God, [Page 105] who hath appoynted, that the wife next under the husband, should beare the chiefest sway in the admi­nistration of the family. And therefore in Tit. 2.5. it is required, that shee should bee discreet, chaste, and one that delights to keepe at home, where her imploiments lie and in Pro. 31.10. to the end, we have a faire description of al such houshold businesses, as God in his diviner wisedome thought fit to bee imposed upon the woman: and for a man to put her by them is, to preferre his owne con­ceit before the Iudgement of the highest.

Againe, this churlish pra­ctise is also repugnant to the light of nature. Xenophon [Page 106] therefore calls the wife [...]: the keeper, and directer of all that belongs unto the house: and Aristotle, will have it her charge alone, [...], to looke to that, which is within. Though the wife therefore may thinke it a pleasant thing to shew her selfe sub­ject to the desires of her husband: It cannot yet but wring her patience, to see her power, and authority in the family, that she may not command her mayde, but must rather bee com­manded by her. And be­hold, holy Abraham the fa­ther of the faythfull will give the husband a prece­dent to forbeare this bit­ternesse. Sarah no sooner [Page 107] complain'd of Hagars inso­lency, but he presently cast her out of doores, as un­willing any way to foster the occasion of her discon­tent.Gen. 16.6.

2. This tyranny of the husband over his wife, shewes it selfe, when ey­ther hee denies her that, which doth conduce to her necessity, or substracteth from her any thing conve­nient for her dignity. For by vertue of the matrimo­niall covenant, and stipula­tion, she is to partake in all things with her husband. It is sayd of a friend, that he is alter ego: but a mā may say of his wife, that she is, ipse ego: another like himselfe, nay the same with himselfe, and when he grudgeth her that [Page 108] which is fit, and convenient for her use, not caring how prodigall he be in his owne occasions; 'tis as if he should endeavour to sterve his left side, and to pamper his right. Every member in the body hath a share in whatsoever nutriment en­ters into the stomacke. Now if man be the head of the house; the woman is the heart, and when this is feeble, the other must faile. Let not husbands then de­ny their wives at any time that which is fit, by engros­sing all to their owne occa­sions. This is deemed a bitter thing in the Agent and must therefore of ne­cessity be bitter to the pa­tient. [...],Oecon lib. 1. cap. 7. saith [Page 109] the Philosopher. None but will take it very ill to see themselves deprived of of what is proper unto them.

3. And lastly, this Ty­ranny may bee expressed in some outragious violence towards the wife, which is indeed the height of all Bit­ternesse. And never was it practised by any of the Hea­then, except drunke or madde.Patric. Sen. l. 4 de Rep. tit. 4. Cato the Censor was of opinion, that whosoever should lay violent hands upon his wife, did deserve to be as much abhorred, and detested, as if he had profa­ned an Altar, or beene in­jurious to the Common­weale. This is an over­flowing of the Gall, and will require a strong purge. [Page 110] To come then to the Meanes, by which both this and the other kindes of Bit­ternesse are to be avoided.

Exo. 15.25.Wee reade, that when Moses cryed unto the Lord in behalfe of the people, who being come unto Ma­rah, were not able to drinke the waters of the place; the Lord shewed him a Tree, which when hee had cast into them, they did imme­diately waxe sweet. By this likewise together w^th a Cruse of Salt did Elisha recover the Springs of Hiericho; yea, by this and a handfull of Meale did hee chase Death from out the Pottage of the Prophets. Let whoso­soever therefore findes himself sterne & stubborne in his disposition, make his [Page 111] recourse unto the meanes, and behold the Lord will then shew him the Tree of Life; he will fill his Cruse w^th the true salt of the earth; hee will give him a hand­full of that purer Meale, whereof the Bread which came downe from Heaven was composed, to remedy thereby his naturall corrup­tion: Of a Lyon hee shall become a Lanbe; and of a hurtfull Dragon, a harme­lesse Dove.

The 2. meanes, whereby to cure this Bitternesse, is to reade and meditate up- the word of GOD. Here shalt thou finde a salve for every Soare, a medicine for every Maladie. Art thou covetous, or lascivious, am­bitious, or furious?

Here shalt thou meet with such Receipts, as will not onely mortifie thy dolours, but remove thy disease. It is that Rolle mentioned by the Prophet;Ezec. 3.1. wee must cause our Bellies to eate it, and our Bowels must bee filled therewith; and loe! the Effect, which shall fol­low hereupon; The Heart shall bee rejoyced, and from the mouth shall proceed a savour, as sweet as any Honey.

The 3. way, by which to cure this Bitternesse, is to turne the course of it an other way, hee that will [Page 113] needs be froward, and per­verse, let him bee it to his sinnes. Alas! what glory can it be to insult and domi­neere over the weaker Ves­sels? These are sturdie, and robustious, and will deserve the uttermost of thy Chol­ler. If thou must needs lowre, let it bee upon the Devill; if thou must needs chide, let it bee with the world, & worldly vanities: in a word, if you must needs fight, let it bee with the de­sires and lusts of thine owne Flesh: Buffet thy body with S. Paul, beate it downe, and bring it into subjection: Mortifie thy Members which are upon the Earth, Fornication, Vnclean­nesse, inordinate Affection, e­vill Concupiscence, and Cove­tousnesse, [Page 114] which is Idolatrie. These are worthy thy Con­quest, and for thy Bitternesse to them here in this world, thou shalt enjoy eternall sweetnesse in the World to come.

4. And lastly; Whosoe­ver would avoid this Bit­ternesse, he must destroy it in the bloome. Sinne creepes like a Canker, and it is a naturall course, even in evill, faith the Schoole­man, Vt ab imperfecto ad per­fectum quis moveatur; by de­grees to come unto perfe­ction: the diseases of the Bodie grow not at once, they have their accretions long before their eruptions; & it is no otherwise w^th the Soares and sicknesses of the Soule. Verecunda sunt omnia [Page 115] initia peccati; saith a Father, Sinne is ever bashfull in the be­ginning. Modicum non nocet, saith the carnall Libertine; a little Pride, a little pleasure will not hurt, and perad­venture the fiery nature will not sticke to affirme, that a little choller is an ar­gument of a good spirit; but S. Pauls advise is to the con­trary;1 Cor. 5.6. Cavete modicum fermen­ti, Beware, saith hee, of a little Leaven, for even a little sowreth the whole lumpe. The enemies of the Church enter like lit­tle Foxes; but once in, they take on like roaring Lions. [...]. Cu­stom, saith the Philosopher, ariseth from very small be­ginnings. Many will thinke it nothing to lend the De­vill an evill Thought. Yet [Page 116] the Wise-man telleth us,Wisd. 13. that evill Thoughts do separate from God. And indeed, dum ludunt, illudunt; while they dally w^th us, they deceive us, & like a bemyred dog, de­file even in fawning. As the streames of Iordan carry the fish with pleasure and de­light, till on a sodaine they fall into mare mortuum, The dead Sea, where they are presently choaked. So ma­ny while they suffer them­selves to bee led away by a froward Affection, are o­vertaken with froward A­ctions, which doe unexpe­ctedly plunge them into the bosome of destruction. An unkinde Thought will quickly bring forth unkinde Words, and it will not be long ere these bee followed [Page 117] by unkinde Deeds. De­stroy therefore the Cocka­trice in the shell. Husbands love your wives, and be not bit­ter unto them. And thus from the Meanes, whereby to avoid it, I come now to the Reasons, for which it is to be avoided.

The first is drawne from the very Precept by which the Apostle enjoyneth Husbands to love their Wives. For it carrieth with it no exception. The bleare-eyed Leah must bee loved as well as the beauteous Ra­chel; and Hannah when shee chides, as well as when shee cherisheth. For when God first imposed this charge upon the man, hee knew full well there was no wo­man without her weaknes­ses. [Page 118] As shee therefore is bound to bee obedient to her husband, notwithstan­ding his many imperfecti­ons; so is hee to bee kinde and courteous to his wife: and whensoever hee slackes this affection towards her upon any light occasi­on he becomes guiltie of this Bitternesse.

The second is taken from the example of CHRIST, whom the Apostle in sun­dry places of his writings propounds as a patterne of imitation unto husbands. For hee never either ha­teth or despiseth the Church his Spouse, not­withstanding those in­finite blemishes, and de­fects, which might justly make her distasted and de­tested [Page 119] of his purer eyes: but endevours rather to palliate and disguise them, still ho­nouring her person, though hee bee displeased with her Faults. And thus disposed should the husband alwaies bee towards his Wife. No inward defect, no outward deformitie should at any time lessen or abate his con­jugall affection, unlesse it were such as did dissolve, & break in sunder the nuptiall knot. For so long as this stands firme, the wife is but one flesh with himselfe. And according to the Apostle, No man ever hated his owne flesh, Eph. 5.29. but nourisheth and cheri­sheth it, even as Christ doth the Church.

The third is drawne from a free confession of the very [Page 120] Heathen in this case. Aristo­tle even by the light of Na­ture perceived, it was unfit that a husband upon his wives miscarrying should presently seem estranged & alienated from her. [...]:Oecon. Lib. 1 cap. 7. Small of­fences, saith hee, though wilfully committed, must bee passed over; and where ignorance may extenuate those of greater moment, it shall suffice by gentle war­nings, and admonitions to make her more cautious for the future. Husbands there­fore love your wives, and be not bitter unto them.

Not bitter, inwardly in your Affections, much lesse out­wardly in Words. The end of a reproachfull speech is [Page 121] to rejoyce, not for any pro­fit acquited by it to our selves, but for a disgrace in­flicted upon others. Now as I shewed before; A man cannot scratch his Wives face, but the prints of his Nailes will appeare in his owne. Some peradventure will breake forth into stor­my language, and direfull threates, and yet not harbor in their brest the least in­tent to doe an injurie. Yet even this Bitternesse must be condemned. For if hee that is angry with his Brother unadvisedly, and shall vent his choller against him in reviling tearmes,Mat. 5.2. shall bee Culpable of Hell-fire, what judgement must he expect, that shall doe the like unto his wife? That this bitternesse [Page 122] therefore may bee utterly banished from the married state; let Salomons rule bee still had in remembrance, Rejoyce with the Wife of thy youth, Pro. 5.18. &c.

Now as touching the last kinde of Bitternesse, which doth usually expresse it selfe in Blowes. 1. It is, as I have said before, against the law of N [...]ture, Vitium ux­oris aut tollendum, aut feren­dum; The infirmity of the wife, said Varro, A. Gel. lib. 1 Cap. 17. is ei her to be toller [...] ­ted, or amended. He that cor­rects it, adds to her grace; he that beares it, to his owne Goodnesse. Alcibiades de­manded Socrates how hee could endure to live with his Xantippe. For night and day did shee molest him with her brawling, and con­tentious [Page 123] tongue: His an­swere was, That by suffe­ring her at home, hee be­came armed against all pe­tulant assaults that could happen unto him, when hee came abroad. Were it not madnesse then in a man to beate a women for that Weaknesse, which if well di­gested, will set the fairer Glosse upon his owne Worth?

2. It is against the Civill Law. For that permits her, if shee can prove that her husband is injurious to her in this kind, to sue the be­nefit of a Divorce: and the reason, which is assigned for it, is this. Quia verbera sunt ab ingenuis aliena; Because blowes are too burdensome for ingenuous natures. Againe, every Superiour hath not [Page 124] power to correct the er­rours of his inferiour by stripes. The Prime Consul hath no authority so to cha­stise his companion, though for many respects hee bee beneath him in place and dignitie. Say a league of A­mitie were made and con­tracted betwixt two, condi­tionally, that the younger shall suffer himselfe in all things to bee guided by the wisedome and discretion of the elder; by vertue of this Covenant hee is bound to obey; but if afterwards hee refuse it, hee may not by stripes be compelled to his duty. It is the like in Matri­mony. For there the hus­band, and the Wife, agree upon a kinde and sweete Societie; so that the Wife [Page 125] must be subject unto him, and willingly be guided by his advice, yet as a fellow, not as a follower, by coun­sell, not compulsion. For he must not, saith the Philoso­pher, [...]: worke her to a servile feare, which is the bane of Modesty and Love.

3. Such barbarous dea­ling is altogether repugnant to the Law of God. For if we consider but the mat­ter whereof hee did com­pose her, wee shall finde that she was not intended, as Litter for his imperious feet to trample on; for shee was made of a Ribbe out of the side, to shew that shee should be collateralis, his e­quall & companion. On the [Page 126] right hand, Psa. 45. saith the Kingly Prophet, stands the Queene. Againe, out of the Side, that she might bee Vxor gre­mii, The Wife of the bosome, as deare and entire unto him as his owne Heart.

4. And lastly, the very condition of Matrimony, utterly disclaimes such base and currish usage. For by marrying hee hath taken her from her friends, and covenanted to tender her for them all. From them shee is committed to her husband, as to a Sanctuary for her safe protection, and shall hee dare to injure her himselfe?Gen 20.26 Abraham is called Saras Vaile, to shew that e­very wise, and faithfull A­braham is to defend and keep his loving Sarai.

And why in the begin­ning thinke yee, was the woman made of a Ribbe under the Arme, but to teach the Man, that hee should ever be the womans safe-guard? For as the Arme is the only member, where­with by bearing, and put­ting by of blowes, the o­ther parts of the body are secured: so the husband should bee the Shield by which the wife should live as it were under the Lee of all indignity.

In Pro. 12.4. the woman is said to bee the crowne of her husband; he that woun­deth her, woundeth his owne honour, and trea­deth under his Feet [...], his owne credite, and estimation. A Crystall [Page 128] Glasse is not to bee handled roughly, as Pots, that are made either of Earth or Pewter, but charily, and wa­rily, as being of a finer Met­tle, and so more brittle than the other. Saint Peter there­fore adviseth us to give honour unto the Woman, 1. Ep. 3.7. not expecting, that wis [...]dome, that Patience, that Faith, nor that Forbearance in the weaker Vessell, which is not many times in the stronger.

The very name of Wife, is like that Angell which staid the Hand of Abra­ham, when the stroke was falling upon the necke of his beloved Isaac. There­fore as Ionathan's Arrowes were shot not to hurt, but but to give warning; So the [Page 129] words of a Husband to his wife, should bee words to direct her, and not deject her. He should not utter them with the lest intent, to grieve and discontent her softer spirit, but onely use them as sawce, that is made of purpose to sharpen the life, and make it more desi­rable. To bee short, when the woman is brought from all her friends, to bee resi­dent onely with the man; If hee bee churlish to her, and unkinde, from whom shall she hope for comfort, or expect reliefe? Offences as well in mariageas in other States will grow; but to re­forme the wife by way of violence, I finde no warrant. Hee therefore, that cannot rule her with­out [Page 130] beating is worthy to be beaten himselfe for having made so bad a choice. The Bride-bush is never to bee besprinkled but with sweet water, and may the Bram­ble be his portion, that shall otherwise bedew it. Hus­bands therefore love your wives, and be not bitter —

That wee may not take this word Bitternesse here in too large a sense, wee must know, that our Apostle in prohibiting it, doth not de­sire, that the husband should as it were hood-wink him­selfe, that hee may not see the Vices, and imperfections of his Wife. It was a prodi­gious dulnesse in Antoninus to commend his Faustina for her chastity, when the whole World had taken [Page 131] notice of her Luxury: the like in Sylla, who very stiffly praised Messalla for her pu­rity, when in every Taverne throughout Athens, the Fid­lers sang her prostitutions: He did not know his Bed to be dishonoured, till his very enemies did cast it into his Teeth. The Apostle requi­reth not this stupiditie in any.

Every man as he knowes his wife to bee the weaker vessell, so he must looke after the Weaknesse of this Vessell; Hee must search out the Leaks, that they may never either blot himselfe, or ble­mish his posterity. Mart. lib. 6. Epigram. 39.

2. It is no Bitternesse, to de­ny her the knowledge of thy [Page 132] Secrets. Mic. 7.5. Trust not in a friend, saith the Prophet, neither put thy confidence in a Counsel­lour: Nay, Keepe the doores of thy mouth from her that lyeth in thy Bosome. The Philistine ploweth with no other Hey­fer, and therefore Sampson conceale thy Riddle.

3. It is no Bitternesse, to finde fault where there is just cause, nor to reprove upon good occasion. Qui non vetat peccare cum potest, jubet. He makes himself an A­bettor to her fault, that seeks not to abridge her in her folly. Onely this, his Repre­hensions must savour of Mecknesse, not of Madnesse; they must bee cloathed in Gods words, not his owne.

4. It is no Bitternesse, so farre to crosse her humour, [Page 133] as still to persevere in do­ing those things the for­bearance whereof may redound with hurt or prejudice, eyther to thy soule, or thy substance, notwithstanding any im­portunity of hers to the contrary.

Fiftly, and lastly, 'tis no bitternesse to deny her that liberty, which may prove dangerous to her, disastrous to thy selfe. Let not the wife then count that bitter, which is sweet; Neyther let the husband under these pretences obtrude upon her that for sweet, which in­deed is bitter: But if the wife b [...] subject, let the hus­band love; So shall the bal­lance bee equally poysed; and marriage if it be a bon­dage, [Page 134] will prove such a one, as is onely knit in love­knots. The yoke of it will be drawne with pleasure, and delight, to Gods glory, and their owne comfort.

The duty of children to their parents.

FRom the first oe­conomicall com­bination, which was betwixt the husband, and the wife; we come now to the second, which is betwixt the pa­rent, and the childe; And here as in the former in ex­acting those mutuall duties which are to be performed by the one to the other; our Apostle begins with the weaker, and that as I [Page 138] conjecture eyther for the same reasons alledged there or others not much unlike. For first of all, children are usually more defective to­wards their parents, than parents can bee toward them Hoc est amor in ho [...]i­nibus, quod humor in arboribus: Even corrupted nature tea­cheth every one to be care­fully provident for his own. For according to Gerson; Naturaliter ascendit su [...]cus à radi [...]e ad ramos, & non è con­verso. The sappe which is in Trees ascendeth naturally from the roote to the bran­ches, and not contrarily. Secondly, when children shall truely tender their obedience, parents can not chuse but afford their love. To come then to a particu­lar [Page 139] consideration of the A­postles words; wee have in them two things, Regulam, et rationem Regulae:

First, a Rule; Children obey your parents in all things.

Secondly a reason of this rule, For this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

In the rule wee may ob­serve 4 things,

First, the persons whom it concernes, Children.

Secondly, the duty, which is exacted by it, Obedience.

Thirdly; To whom they are to tender it, Parents.

Fourthly, and lastly, How farre, In all things. Children obey your parents in—

Children.

As touching the first, In [Page 140] the originall we reade, [...], whereby is signified unto us a mans whole pro­geny. So that sonnes, and daughters are not onely to bee understood here, but likewise nephew and nee­ces. For even these are comprehended, and that according to Law and Scripture, under the name of Children; As when the Iewes without any distincti­on are called the Children of Israel. It is a rule then, which concerneth all. The Athenians, according to Thu­cydides, idly conceited their originall to bee from out the earth; but reason, and religion both teach us, that man is the off-spring of man. Whosoever therefore is [...], the childe of any [Page 141] one, he hath by vertue of this title some, to whom he owes all honour, and obedience; And it is ney­ther length of time, nor difference in state, that can authorize a dispensation for this duty. For as touching the first.

It is not onely during our non-age, and minority, but likewise in our best ma­turity, that we must with all due reverence subject our wils to their commands. And as concerning the la­ter, Though in a civill, and politicke respect, a pub­lique Magistrate bee more honourable than a private man, yet as he is a sonne, he is to count himselfe in­feriour unto him, from whom his being is derived.

Iacob was in great want when hee departed out of Canaan; Ioseph his sonne yet being a Prince in Aegypt, and one whom Pharaoh had made his Lord-high-Con­stable, as it were, for the government of his whole land; caused his Chariot to be made ready; and went up with all observance to meet Isaac his father. Yee may see the like respect in Salomon. 1 Kin. 2.19. His mother did no sooner approach, but hee rose from our the seate of Majesty and bowed him­selfe unto her. Yea, our Sa­viour Christ, a greater farre then Salomon, neglected not the meanenesse of his Pa­rents, but notwithstanding he was King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, he thought [Page 143] it no disadvantage to his dignity,Luke 5.51 to shew himselfe subject unto them. In a word then, whosoever is a childe stands lyable to this rule, and it is neither wealth, nor age, nor ho­nour, or the like, which can unloose this tie. The word is indefinite, and without all exemption or limitation. Children obey: And so from the persons whom this rule concernes, I come to the duty which hereby is requi­red.

Obey.

The word in the origi­nall is [...], and according to the native signification, which it carrieth, denotes unto us two things.

First, the matter that must be tendred.

Secondly, the manner, how it must be rendered.

For first, it implies an humble promptitude in en­tertaining the commands of others.

Secondly, a chearefull application of our best en­deavours to a quicke, and full performance of the same.

The severall parts then whereof this obedience heere required doth consist are these:

First, to doe that which our parents shall injoyne us.

Secondly, to learne that which they shall teach us.

Thirdly, to redresse and amend what ever they re­prove [Page 145] as faulty in us. As touching the first.

Obedience hath ever beene magnified both of God, and man. The off­spring of the righteous is obedience and love. The Rechabites shall never want a Panegyricke to testifie their obedience to the world,Hier. 35.2. no though the booke of Hieremy the Pro­phet happen to bee cut a­gaine with a pen-knife, and burnt upon a hearth, as in the daies of Zidkiiah. Iona­dab their father had enjoy­ned them to drink no wine, & it was a Law, which they observ'd with such a religi­ous respect, that neyther they, nor their wives, their sonnes, nor their daughters, did ever violate or infringe. [Page 146] 'Twas Christs prophecy of himselfe, and it will be­seeme us well to practise it. The Lord opened my eare, and I was not rebellious, Esay 50.5. neyther turned I backe. It was writ­ten of him in the booke, that he should doe the will of his father, and he did it. The Law was in the midst of his bowels, and without any protraction or delay he presenteth himselfe,Psal. 40.8. Loe I come: He was obedient to the death, yea even to the death of the Crosse; and though he were the sonne, yet lear­ned he obedience by the things he suffered, and ac­cording to S. Ber. Ne perderet obedientiam, perdidit vitam. Though his pangs were sharpe, sweet was the peace wherewith they were re­warded.

Disobedience on the o­ther side could never avoyd the judgements of Almigh­ty God. It cast the Angels out of heaven; our first pa­rents out of Paradise; Lets wife out of her life, and nature too; Saul out of his Kingdome; Ionas out of the ship; the children of Israel out of their native soile, and which is more, out of the naturall roote that bare them. For this is the reason which God himselfe allea­geth, I spake unto them, but they would not heare, Hier. 35.17 I cryed unto them, but they would not answer. Samuel tels us, that it is as the sinne of witchcraft. And Ezekiel, cap. 8.16. that to turne our backes rebelliously up­on the Lord is an abomina­tion which admits no pa­rallell. [Page 148] Yet nothing more naturall to man. The brests of Eve gave no other Milke than perversenesse to her children; neyther did A­dam bequeath to his po­sterity any other patri­mony.

But he that hath beene principled in the schoole of grace, will never ap­peare like Othos souldiers, who according to the Hi­storian, Iussa ducum inter­pretari, quam exequi malebant, delighted more in com­menting upon the directi­ons of their leaders, than performing them; but like the Centurions: Bid him goe, and he goeth; come, and he commeth: doe this, and he doth it. Hee stands not to enquire after the nature [Page 149] and scope of that which is enjoyn'd him; nor yet to search upon what reasons, motives, and inducements, it is grounded,Ambros. Offic. lib. 1. cap. 17. but borne as it were Daedaliis remigiis upon the wings of dili­gence, he cuts through all incumbrances to doe it: He knowes it is his fathers will, and here he finds his rule, Children obey.

Secondly, this obedience consisteth in learning what their parents teach them. The feare of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fooles despise wisedome, and instruction. My sonne there­fore, saith Salomon, Pro. 1.8. heare the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mo­ther. For they shall be an orna­ment of grace unto thy head, [Page 150] and chaines about thy necke. Pro. 31.1. Lemuel a potent King glori­ed in the practise of that prophesie which his mother taught him.

Thirdly, they must a­mend whatsoever they re­prove; And behold the eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mo­ther in this the Ravens of the valli [...]s shall [...]icke it out, Pro. 30.17. and the young Eagles shall ea [...]e it. This for the matter.

For the manner, how this obedience is to be ten­dered. It must bee with all internall, and externall re­verence. Internally, they must conceive a holy esti­mation of their parents; and externally, bee ready with all dutifull behaviour to accept of their com­mands. [Page 151] The fift precept in the Decalogue is, Honour thy father, and thy mother, but the Apostle useth the word Obey.

First, to taxe a fault whereof children for the most part are usually guilty. For many will give all due respect and reverence to their parents, who yet in the fashioning of their lives will deny them their obe­dience, and with a refracta­ry eare put by their coun­sell and advise.

Secondly, because obe­dience is the chiefest part of that honour whereunto children by Gods divine injunction are obliged. For vaine is the pretence of honouring them, where there is not a readinesse to [Page 152] obey them; as may be seene by that parable of the two sonnes propounded by our Saviour Christ himselfe to the Priests and Elders of the people.Mat. 21.30. 3. Because such as are not obedient to their parents, cannot be obedient unto God. He is the supreme father of all; & ab illo omnis paternitas; Eph. 3.16. of him the whole family in heaven and earth is named. Our carnall pa­rents are but as it were his deputies, and vicegerents. Lactantius therefore stiles them onely generandi mini­stros; Lib. 5. c. 19. the instrumentall cau­ses of our being: But will the King thinke himselfe honour'd, when his dele­gate is disobeyed? Que­stionlesse, no. Let children then obey their parents; [Page 153] for this is well pleasing to the Lord. And so from the matter which is here requi­red, Obedience; I come to the persons, to whom it must be tendered, Parents.

He doth not say, Obey your Fathers, but your Parents, [...], under which word both fathers, and mothers are equally comprehended, and that not without just cause. For the childe takes his originall from both: and therefore owes obedi­ence and reverence unto both. Hearken to thy father that begot thee, saith Salomon, Pro. 23 22. and despise not thy mother, when she is old. Againe there is couched in this word a very forcible argument, or [Page 154] rather many, and all of them sufficient to stirre up chil­dren to obedience. For the very name of parents can no sooner sound in the eare of a child, but it must put him in mind that these are they, from whom he hath received not onely life, but for the most part, foode also for the preserva­tion of that life, and good education for the b [...]tt [...]ring of the same. Now as con­cerning the first.

If from them hee have derived his corporall being, then is hee bound by the law of nature to subject his will in all things unto theirs. The little Lambe runnes at the call of the damme; and the younger Elephants are alwaies ply­able [Page 155] to the directions of the old. Secondly, If from them this being hath beene pre­served by a daily supply of foode and nourishment, then lyes there a morall tye upon him; and by the law of gratefulnesse hee is to tender unto them all observance: and to this the very Storke may instruct them. For when his parents by reason of their age ly bed-rid, as it were upon their nest, and are wholly stripped of their plumes; he doth not onely bring them foode wherewith to nourish them, but spreads his pinions forth upon them, and makes his owne Feathers a cover for their nakednesse; returning that love to them in their en­feebled [Page 156] state, which in­bred gratitude puts him in minde to have received from them in his. A retri­bution so generally admi­red of all antiquity, that the requitall of a benefit even amongst men was e­ver entitled Antipelargosis, of the word Pelargos, which is the usuall appellation of this foule. As if nature could not have produced a more lively precedent of piety than this.

Thirdly, and lastly, If by good discipline, and godly education they have bette­red this his being, hee is then obliged out of a con­sideration of his owne uti­lity and gaine to doe the like. The greater our debt, the greater m [...]st bee our [Page 157] duty; Christ had done much for Saint Mary Magdalene, and shee loved much. Every Christian is to be respected though no other Bond should tye us thereunto, but that of Christianitie. But if to this bee added o­thers, we must then grow in our affections.

Let the Elders, 1 Tim. 5.17 saith the A­postle, who rule well, bee counted worthy of double honor, especially they who labour in the Word and Doctrine; and why a double honor, but because of a double desert, which doth require and exact it? Now to whom can a man be more especially and par­ticularly bound, than to his Parents, by whom hee hath received what ere he hath, and what ere hee is?

I, but will some say, the things which are enjoyned me by my Parents, are base, and such as if I under-went them, would expose mee to disgrace, and make mee de­rided of the world. O con­sider not what they re­quire, but what thy Lord, and Maker hath ordained, and let his proceedings to­wards Christ, his one, and onely Sonne provoke thee to Obedience. Hee comman­ded him to bear the Crosse, and he with all alacrity em­braced it; hee willed him to let his face be buffeted, his Flesh ploughed up with whips, and his cheekes de­faced with lothsome excre­ments. Yea, hee willed him to suff [...]r every word hee spake, and every miracle he [Page 159] wrought to bee traduced and blasphemed, and he de­clined it not, but in all things became obedient to the will of his Heavenly Father.

Others peradventure will object that their Parents are destitute of wisdome, and discretion, and therefore unfit to be obeyed in any thing they shall impose; but however, my answer is, they are not to bee despised. The Rose smels not the lesse, be­cause it springs from out a Briar: Neither doth an Al­mond abate of his sweet­nesse, because of the hard­nesse of his shell. GOD knowes what is good for thee, and hath therefore caused thee to come out of the Loynes of such, that the [Page 160] faire tender of thy obedience, might make thee a worthy spectacle to God, to Angels, and to men.

A third sort, to blanch this dutie from themselves, will peradventure say, They are not my naturall Parents, but my Stepfather, or Step­mother. Be it so, yet even these must bee obeyed. The great respect of Ruth to Nao­mi, is sufficient to remove this cavill, as likewise that of Moses to Iethro. The one would not be perswaded to abandon the societie of her Mother in Law, but would share with her in all occur­rences: the other hearkned to the voyce of his Father in law, & did in all things as hee directed. Or if these examples be too weak, look [Page 161] againe upon that of Christ to Ioseph: Hee had no grea­ter relation to him, than that hee was betrothed to the blessed Virgin his Mo­ther, and yet hee was con­tent to bee governed by him.

A fourth and last ranke, to pleade exemption from what is here required, will say, They bee not my Parents at all, but only my kindred and al­lies, as my Vncle or my Aunt, &c that have had the breeding and bringing of me up. It is al one, thou owst this duty evē un­to them. Esther was advāced to bee a Queene, she forgot not yet in the height of Majesty to shew her obedi­ence to her Vncle Mordecai. To close up this point then, Children obey your Parents. [Page 162] The next to bee discussed is the extent of this obediēce; how farre it is to reach, Children obey your parents in all things.

In all things.

There must bee a limita­tion of this; for universall, and absolute Obedience is due onely to God, and wee may finde it in Ephes. 6.1. where the Apostle plainly expresseth what here hee leaves to bee understood. Children obey your Parents in the Lord, that is, so far forth as is permitted by the Lord. Or thus,A. Gell. lib. 2 Cap. 7. All things may bee reduced to a threefold rank. For 1. some are simply good, and these must bee done, notwithstanding any [Page 163] inhibition of our Parents to the contrary, and that in re­gard of the things them­selves, as likewise in regard of him that doth injoyne them. For hee that listneth, saith our Saviour, to Father or mother more than mee, is not worthy of mee.

2. Some things are simply evill; and these must not bee done for any strong intrea­ties or enforcements that can be used by our Parents, because God forbids them; and according to that of Saint Peter, Wee are to obey him rather than men. Act. 5.29.

3. And lastly, some things are of an indifferēt strain; as neither simply good, nor sim­ply evill, & in these children must shew their Obedience without any reluctation, [Page 164] how unmeet soever they may seeme to their owne apprehension. In adiaphoris, saith Gerson, superioris judicio maximè credendum, quoniam ille vice Dei tibi dicit, quid ex­pedit, & quid decet. In mat­ters of an indifferent na­ture, a man must ever sub­scribe to the judgement of his Superiour, because hee doth supply the place of God, and serves as one de­puted from him to tell thee, what is decent and conve­nient to bee done.

Patris jussa discutere non lic [...]t, patris monita retractare non convenit, s [...]ith Petrus Ra­vennas. Tristior esse poterit pa­terni mandati species, res tamen ipsa salutifera est, & vitalis. Though the commands of our Parents may seeme to us [Page 165] never so harsh, never so un­just, so they bee not clearely convicted of impiety, wee are not to reject them, espe­cially if wee bee such as are still under their governmēt, and protection. An excel­lent example wee have of this in Isaac, who without any resistance, either in word or deed, suffered him­selfe to be bound, and laid upon the Altar, where hee was content so far to yeeld unto the wil of his Father, as to be sacrificed unto the Lord.Iude 11.36 The like did Iephtah's daughter unto him; and the like should be done by eve­ry one. The very placing of the fift Commandement, in which this duty is required, may bee sufficient to move us hereunto: God [Page 166] hath set it before our goods, yea before our lives; to shew that Obedience to Parents should bee dearer unto us, than [...]it [...] Goods or Lives. Aga [...]e, there is annexed unto it a [...]omise of Long life, a thi [...]g so beloved of all, that [...]here need no o­ther allurement. For Death is hated, and abhorred of Nature.

But here it may bee de­manded, whether married Children, or such as are called to any publike place eyther in Church or Com­mon-weale bee still bound to obey their Parents, and how farre. I answere, that this filiall obedience is to receive no intermission, so long as life doth last. For 1. as it is 1 Tim. 2.3. it is not [Page 167] onely [...], a good thing, and to God acceptable, but it is likewise, [...], a just thing, Eph. 6.1. Wee cannot [...]or­beare it without injury. Christs direction therfore is this, Give unto Caesar, Mat. 22.21 that w^ch is Caesar's; to every one his due; Tribute to whom Tribute, Custome to whom Custome; Feare to whom feare; Rom. 3.7. Honour to whom Honour belongeth. Now this is proper, and pe­culiar unto parents, as ap­peares by God himselfe; If I bee a Father, where is my ho­nour? if I bee a Master, where is my feare?

2. It is exacted by way of Precept; Honor thy Father, & thy mother that thy dayes may bee long in the Land, which the Lord thy God giveth thee. So that concerning the conti­nuāce [Page 168] of this duty. It is to last, so long as we doe live, but not in the same mea­sure, nor after the same manner. For such as live in their Fathers house, and under their Fathers power, are to be employed by their Parents both at home, and abroad, according as they shall thinke fit to make use of their service.

But as touching such as are married or called to the administration either of Church or common-weale; though they bee still tyed to reverence, & obey their Parents Will, as likewise to succour, and relieve their wants, as oft as occasion shall require: they are not bound yet as before, to co­habitate with them; nor yet [Page 169] to expedite their businesses, as having matters of their owne to looke unto, and those of greater moment and importance. And this is most apparent in the first sort. For it is the Ordinance of God himselfe,Gen. 2.24. that a man should forsake Father and Mother, to cleave to his Wife; which is not to be under­stood simply but comparative­ly, & in respect of an indivi­dual society: Again, he must labor for the sustētation of his owne Family. This was that which Iacob pretended for his departure,Gen 30. when La­ban did sollicite him, still to continue the keeping of his Flocke, willing him to ap­point his owne wages; Thou knowest, said Iacob, how I have served thee, and how thy Cattle [Page 170] hath beene with mee; It was lit­tle which thou hadst before I came, and it is now encreased to a multitude; and the Lord hath blessed thee since my [...]om­ming; and now when shall I pro­vide for my owne house also?

Now as touching those, that have betooke them­selves to any Church-im­ployments, the case is cleare. There is no autho­rity in Parents to revoke them thence, to looke a­gaine to their terrestriall affaires. For if a Father can not withdraw his Sonne from the service of an earthly King, much lesse is hee to doe it from the service of the KING of Kings. Hee that putteth his hand to this Plough, and looketh backe,Luke 9. ult. shall bee thought unfit for the King­dome [Page 171] of heaven. The same reason may serve for those which are advanced in the Common-weale. For it is requisite that priv [...]te things should stil giue way to pub­like. To resolve the doubt then in a word. A child can never be freed frō the duty either of honouring, or re­lieving his Parents; but from Cohabitation, as like­wise from the administra­tion of their domesticall affaires he may. Here the Pharisees then meet with this condemnation, while devillishly they would dis­spence with their childrens honouring and relieving of their Parents,Mat 15.6. so they would bestow it upon them. The Church of Rome, likewise hath her [Page 172] blame, while in imitation of their errour, she affirmes it lawfull for children even against the will and plea­sure of their Parents, if once they be come to ripenes of yeares, which in a Sonne they hold to bee at 14. in a daughter at 12. to put themselves into a Mo­nastery.

For 1. to doe a thing not commanded by God, with an apparent violation of that which is commanded, is rash and irreligious; but for a childe to take upon him the profession of a Mo­nasticall life, is no Com­mandement of GODS, whereas to bee serviceably obedient unto Parents, is a manifest injunction of his: he must not therefore aban­don [Page 173] them in such a case, without their free consent.

2. It is against Reason, and religion to offer that which is anothers unto God without the approbation of him that owes it. Now children so long as they re­maine under their Parents tuition, are a part of their peculiar possessions; and therefore not to bee dispo­sed of as they list them­selves. Wee have it in the old Law,Num 30.3. That if a woman shal vow a vow unto the Lord, being in her Fathers house, and in her youth, and her father disallow her in the day that hee heares thereof, not any of her vowes, wherewith shee hath bound her Soule, shall stand.

3. If it bee rashnesse to doe a thing without the ad­vise [Page 174] and consent of our Pa­rents; it must needs be wic­kednesse to doe it against their Wils; and when they use their best endeavours to prevent it; but it is rash­nesse for any childe of 15. or 16. yeares to determine up­on a course of life without his parents knowledge; and specially upon such a kinde of life as causeth a necessary a vocation from those du­ties, which are to bee per­formed unto Parents, what must it bee then to doe thus against their Wils?

4. And lastly; For I omit many reasons, which might easily bee alleaged for the conviction of this Errour. The Gangrensian Council, celebrated in Paphlagonia, Anno 324. pronounceth for [Page 175] Anathema the childe, that under a pretence of religi­on shall depart from his Pa­rents; and not give them that reverence, which they may justly challeng [...]. How true then this Assertion of the Romanists is, let eve­ry man bee Iudge.

Here then are condem­ned Marriages, without consent of Parents. GOD gave Eve unto Adam, as ha­ving most right, because he made her; And this autho­rity hee hath communica­ted to all Parents; Rebeccah askt the consent of her Fa­ther before she would mar­ry; yea Ismael though un­gracious, was willing his mother should appoint him a wife. Hamor entreated Iacob for Dinah; Gn. 21.21. The Seche­mites, [Page 176] though uncircumci­sed; would not commit a rape, but sought the good will of those, whose daugh­ters they desired to marry; And in 1 Cor. 7.36. Every Fa­ther, saith the Apostle, hath power over his Virgin. Now what this power is, the Law will shew us.

If a man had entised a maide, and laine with her, hee was to endowe her for his w [...]fe,Exo. 22.16. but if the Father would not consēt, he was to pay the money, and yet not marry the party, yea, let us search the Bible throughout, and we shall finde, that God did alwayes absolutely in­terest the parents in provi­ding Wives for their Sons,Deut. 7.3. and Husbands for their Daughters. Samson though [Page 177] the beauty of the Timnite had in a desperate manner fired his affections,Iudg 14.2. durst not yet without the consent of his Father and Mother take herto wife, because he knew the match would otherwise bee unwarrantable.

It was the Plee which Tha­mar used to her brother Amnon, when with a vio­lent hand, hee did in­vade her Chastilie, 1 Sam. 13.13. I pray thee speake unto the King, for he will not withhold me from thee. So that the law of Nature, the Law of Moses, and the Law of Christ require from chil­dren a particular subjection of their owne wils to that of their Parents in this kinde. To these we may adde the Lawes of Nations, the Con­stitutions of Popes, the deter­minations [Page 178] of Councils, all like so many severall lines uniting themselves in one, and the same Center.

1. The Romanes obs [...]r­ved it very strictly, allowed no marriage to bee lawfull, but what was contracted, and agreed upon by the Pa­rents of either party. Yee may see the practise of it in the Comedy;

Act. 1. Scen. 4. Plautus likewise in his Aulularia presents us Mega­dorus [Page 179] stipulating with Euclio for his daughter, in the same manner.

Catullus in a Nuptiall Verse of his thus speaking to a young Damzell, who out of a foolish fancy, when her Parents had provided her a match, against which lay no exception, utterly refused it, maketh this his Plee, whereby to worke the obstinacy of her Will to a more flexible temper.

Secondly among the de­crees of Euaristus, Pope, and Martyr, who lived about the yeere 110. there is one, in which hee plainely pro­nounceth those marriages to be rather whoredomes, and adulteries, than marri­ages, which are not conclu­ded by the parents. Pope Vrban was of the same opi­nion.

Thirdly, the Lateran Coun­cill under PP. Innoc. third, Cano. 51. did peremptorily [Page 182] determine, that wedlocke, if the person were under yeeres, which was other­wise performed. The 4^th Toletan did the like.Ad uxorem lib. 2. cap. 9.

Fourthly, Tertullian cele­brating the praises of Chri­stian Matrimony, among other excellencies in it, re­counts this as a chiefe, that they never marry Sine con­sensu patrum, without the consent of parents, Non est virginalis pudoris eligere ma­ritum, Lib. 1. de Patri. Abra. cap. 9. saith St. Ambrose. It becomes not the modesty of a Virgin to be the chuser of her own husband. Euripi­des in his Andromacha, makes Hermione, to answer the importunity of her sutors thus, [...]. I leave to my fa­ther [Page 183] the care of my marri­age, as a thing not at all belonging to my choyce. I could produce a world of other arguments, but I thinke this little essay of every severall kind enough to principle ingenious na­tures, to the performance of their duty in this kind; And therefore, Children obey — And so from the rule, I come to the reason.

For this is well pleasing to the Lord.

The Apostle alleageth it as a Motive, to stirre up chil­dren to this duty; and sure [...]here can not bee a more effectuall inducement to [...]eligious minds. Hee doth not therefore say, this your obsequiousnesse shall re­dound [Page 184] with great profit, & advantage to your selves; or shall be pleasing to your parents; but it shall bee acceptable unto Christ: and to please him is ever­lasting happinesse. But how may some object, shall it appeare, that, this obser­vance to our parents is so pleasing and acceptable to God our Father, and to Christ our Lord? I answer that it appeares two man­ner of waies. First, by the temporall reward, which is annexed to that Comman­dement in the Decalogue, which concernes the ho­nouring of our parents, be­ing the first Commande­ment with promise, and therefore urged by the A­postle to this end. Eph. 6. [Page 185] 2. Againe it is evident by the temporall punishment, which God himselfe hath appoynted to bee inflict­ed upon such as wilfully breake, and violate this his mandate. If a man, sayth he, have a stubborne, and rebel­lious sonne, Deut. 21.18 that will not obey the voyce of his father, or the voyce of his mother; and when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them, he shall be brought unto the Elders of his City, and unto the gate of the place, and the men of his City shall stone him with stones that he die. Yea, the very heathen did acknowledge, life to bee prolonged unto such, as did demeane them­selves piously towards their parents; & were of opinion that the contempt of these [Page 196] was to he expiated with no lesse punishment than that of the Gods.Plato de leg [...]b. lib. 11 pag. 932. Let Children therefore obey their parents in all things, for—

Wel pleasing: [...]. It is not one­ly pleasing, but wel-plea­sing: and from hence wee may collect these observa­tions.

First, that the faithfull in every good worke ought specially to looke unto the Lord, not caring how it be censured by man, so it bee pleasing, and acceptable unto him Ludam, et vilior fi­am: said David unto Michal; I will be yet more vile: 2 Sam. 6.22 when she derided him, because hee danced before the Arke.

Secondly, that there is [Page 187] a way to please God, even by pleasing man, and this may serve to hearten up the good in the perfor­mance of all family-duties; as likewise to reprove the hypocrite, who counteth sacrifice more pleasing to the Lord, than eyther mercy or obedience. For sure, he will be served with obedience unto men.

Thirdly, wee may note from hence, That even in our childhood, we have a meanes to endeare our selves to God. For accor­ding to Hugo de S. Victore; Haec paternitas est nobis Sa­cramentum, et imago divinae paternitatis, ut discat cor hu­manum in eo principio, quod videt, quid debet illi principio à quo est, et non videt: God [Page 188] hath appointed a paternity here below, to serve us as a Sacrament and faire resem­blance of his divine pater­nity above; that we might learne by this Originall of ours which we see, what we owe to that Originall, from whence we are, and see not.

Fourthly, that even chil­dren are bound to make conscience of their waies as farre as they have reason to discerne good from ill; and must endeavour to doe that, which may be plea­sing unto God. 'Tis sayd of Hieroboams diseased child; That there was found some good thing in him towards the Lord God of Israel. 1 Kin. 14.15. And sure it is a happy thing, when young men see [Page 189] visions, as well as old men dreame dreames. Parents should begin betimes there­fore to inure their children to the paths of righteous­nesse, and traine them up in the nurture and admo­nition of the Lord. For the workemanship of grace and obedience in the hearts and lives of children, is like the graving of a Kings pallace, and as soone may the character of God, as that of Caesar be imprinted in those waxen yeares. The children of Bethel might have bin taught as easily to have welcomm'd the Prophet with an Hosanna; Blessed is he that cōmeth in the name of the Lord, as in reproch & scorne to call him, Bald-pate, Bald-pate, as he past along. And [Page 190] thus much concerning the duties of children toward their parents. Now follow those of parents toward their children.

The duty of parents to their children.

THE Apostle still carries the scales in an even hand, and as in the first combination belon­ging to the constitution of a family, having principled the wife, he came to direct the husband, that neyther might bee def [...]ctive in the p rformance of such offices, as by vertue of the nuptiall tie were mutually to passe [Page 194] from one to the other: So here in the second, which is betwixt the parent, and the child, he doth the like. Fathers, saith he, provoke not your children, least they be dis­couraged.

In the words we may ob­serve two things.

First, A prohibition, Fa­thers provoke not your Chil­dren.

Secondly, the cause of this prohibition, least they be discouraged.

In the former we may consider.

First, the persons, to whom the prohibition is directed; Fathers.

Secondly, the act pro­hibited; Provocation.

Thirdly, the persons in whose behalfe it is [Page 195] prohibited; Children. Fa­thers —

As touching the first; It may be demanded, why the Apostle doth here make mention of Fathers onely, not retaining the word Pa­rents, which hee had used before in exacting the obe­dience of children, consi­dering that fath [...]rs, and mo­thers both are comprehen­ded under it. I answer, that children are usually defici­ent in the tender of this duty towards their mo­thers; 'Twas necessary therefore, in prescribing of the same, that mothers should equally be included: But very seldome, or never is the tendernesse of their affections so farre exaspe­rated against the fruite of [Page 206] their wombe, as to looke upon it with an austere, and sowre eye. 'Twas sufficient therefore here, that fathers onely should be named, as principally lyable to this Interdiction. The offence of a mother is to bee more cockering, than cruell. Mo­ses his wife,Exod. 4.25. cal'd him a bloudy husband, because he put her childe to paine, though in a way, which God had commanded. And therefore, Fathers provoke —

Fathers.

The very name implies an Argument. For when he saith, Fathers provoke not; 'Tis no other than if hee should have sayd, Forbeare the doing of that, which so [Page 207] ill beseemes the person, and ought to be so farre remo­ved from the practice of a father. 'Tis a title, which sounds not any thing but mildnesse. The Poet there­fore speaking of one, in whom this vertue was ex­ceeding eminent, sayth thus, [...]: He was as milde, and loving, as a father. And doe we not see that the very creatures are instructed by nature to be kinde, and courteous to­wards their young. Plutarch writes of the male Partridg, that hee shares with the female in hatching of her egges; and is the first when they come out of the shell, that brings them meate. The Beare, and the Woolfe, for want of hands, where­with [Page 198] with to stroke their whelps, are still licking them with their tongues. Yea, the Dragons, how pernicious so ever unto others, looke smilingly upon their owne; And shall we, that are in­dued with reason bee fro­ward, and perverse to those of our owne loynes? Omnes honesti mores in bestiis congre­gantur in homine: Man is an universall Pandect, and in him are congregated what ever vertues are in all the creatures. Ishmael, was a gibing bratte; Esau a surly child; and Absalom a tray­terous sonne. Abraham was yet loving to the one; Isaac tender over the other; and David most affectionate to­wards the third; witnesse the care he had to preserve [Page 199] him, while he lived, and the lamentation, which he made for him being dead. In a word then, having such a precept together with such p [...]e [...]edents, Fathers pro­voke not your children. And thus from the persons, to whom this prohibition is directed, I come to the act prohibited, and that is Provocation.

The word in the origi­nall is [...], and signifies to provoke to anger; which may happen many waies to children from their fa­thers, by abuse of their pa­ternall power; as first by words; and secondly, by deeds. By words, three manner of waies.

First, by burdening them with precepts, eyther un­lawfull, [Page 210] or unmeete: un­lawfull;1 Sam. 20.31. as Saul, when he commanded Ionath [...]n his sonne, to fetch David, his innocent, and harmelesse friend unto him, that hee might deprive him of his life. And likewise, when Herodias enjoyn'd her daughter to aske of Herod, who had promised with an oath to give her whatsoe­ver shee demanded, the head of Iohn the Baptist;Math. [...]4.8 we reade not yet that this dancing daughter was any way displeased with the bloudy mandate of her mo­ther, but had she harboured in her brest so much as a graine of piety; 'twould have griev'd her very soule to heare such an unjust re­quest.

Againe, unmeet; as when the father, no necessity ur­ging him thereunto, shall binde them to such servile, and base imployments as beseeme not an ingenuous nature to undergoe. For ac­cording to the Philosopher, The rule of a father over his children, should be like that of a King over his sub­jects, grounded rather upon love than feare. He should not out of an insul ing ty­ranny abuse their labour, as the Aegyptians did that of the Israelites, by ty­ring out their strength in workes of drudgery; but make that use of it, which may tend to the good of eyther.

Secondly, fathers may provoke their children by [Page 202] thundering upon them un­deservedly with rayling, and reproachfull words: For these have usually with them so sharpe a sting, as will goe neere to wound the soule, of the most set­led patience: and in this kind also was Saul injurious unto Ionathan, when in his anger hee sayd unto him, Thou sonne of the wicked and rebellious woman, doe not I know, that thou hast chosen the sonne of Ishai, to thine owne confusion and to the confusion of that shamefull, and ignomi­nious wombe which brought thee forth. For what should more provoke a sonne than to heare not onely himselfe reviled and disgraced; but his mother likewise to bee scandalized with base in­vectives, [Page 203] and made in repu­tation inferiour to a com­mon Courtisan?

Thirdly, and lastly, pa­rents may provoke their children in words, by tra­ducing their workes, and weakning their desart to others, and that eyther before their faces, or behind their backes. And indeed it hath often hapned, that the father hath suspected vertue even in his childe; and hath therefore laboured to weaken the reputation of it in the opinion of such as were thought to admire it: or sought by bloudy practises utterly to extin­guish it. Solyman the fourth Emperour of the Turkish Monarchy, commanded his sonne Bajazet to bee stran­gled [Page 214] by Hassan Aga, together with his foure you [...]g sons, one of which lying in the cradle was there murdered by an Eunuch, the childe smiling in the villaines face; And that which moved him to this unnaturall cru­elty, was onely the noble­nesse of their sire, which in his ambitious apprehen­sion, was gazed upon by his subjects with an eye of too much admiration. The like jealousie provoked him with no lesse barbarous fury to prosecute the life of Mustapha his sonne, a Prince in whom wisdome and valour were so e­qually poysed, that his attempts were never fru­strated of their determinate end: And so great was the [Page 215] expectation which the peo­ple had of his maturer growth, that after his death, if ever, either in forraine, or domesticke affaires their designes had miscarried, their usuall ex­clamation was, Gietti Sultan Mustapha; Sultan Mustapha the onely stay of our hopes is dead and gone. Yea the best, and the meekest a­mongst the Ottoman Com­manders, have alwayes more or lesse beene sicke of this distemper; and would therefore never suffer their sonnes to live in Court, when once they had attai­ned to yeares of discretion, but sent them to governe their Provinces a farre off, where they lived under the checke of their Lieu­tenants [Page 206] generall, without whose leave they might not depart thence, no not to visite their Father. And what can bee more unnatu­rall? Filii gloria patris tri [...]mphus; The very Bryar is esteemed, because it brin­geth forth a Rose; and therefore Fathers provoke not your children. This for the first kinde of Pro­vocation.

The second expresseth it selfe in Deed, and that five kinde of wayes.

1. By subtracting from them, that, which of right pertaines unto th [...]m; as by denying thē necessary food, & rayment, and not giving them that education, and bringing up, which their estates and meanes may [Page 207] conveniently afford. And this is an offence so great, that the Apostle doth a­vouch, and that boldly, whosoever hee bee, that is guiltie of it, to bee a denier of the Faith, and worse than an Infidell.1 Tim. 5.8 But while wee would avoid Charyhdis, wee must beware wee light not upon Scilla. Many to shunne failing on the left hand, are still in the same hazard, by leaning too much upon the right; and thus doe they that corrupt their children with daintier f [...]re, richer apparell, and costlier education than need requireth. And indeed this age of ours is sicke ra­ther of this, than of severi­ty. That which was said of old, may justly bee retorted [Page 218] upon us; Vtinam liberos no­stros non ipsi perderemus; O that wee were not our selves the bane and breake-necke of our childrens happinesse. Wee un­dermine their very infancy with pleasures. That soft and wanton education, which wee call indulgency, weakneth the sinewes both of minde and body. What will not he desire being growne to riper years, who hath beene clad in Scarlet from his very Cradle? Non­dum prima verba exprimit, Quintil. lib. 1. & coccum intelligit; He can hardly speake, and yet hee apprehends the fairest clo­thing and the choycest Meates; Ante palatum eorum, quàm os iustituimus: Wee train them up more to taste, than to talke; and hence it [Page 219] hapneth that for the grea­test part, they prove like A­donijah, faire it may bee, but wondrous faultie.

2. Parents may provoke their Children in Deed, by using them harshly and un­kindly, when they come to bee of riper yeares. For then they should bee pleased to make them sharers in what­soever they enjoy. Artobar­zanes King of Cappadocia, Val. Max. lib. 5. cap. 7. as soone as his sonne had at­tained to mans estate, that hee might see him equally ranked with himselfe, took the Diadem from off his own head, and in the sight of C [...]: Pompeius, set it upon his. And surely it should be the delight of parents, to see themselves parallell'd, yea, and surpast in any virtuous [Page 210] abilities and endowm [...]nts by those of the [...]r own body.

3. Their rigorous and un­just dealing in matching them; as when they enforce them contrary to their own liking to marry where they thin [...]e good; or restraine them from marrying where they would themselves, no withstanding that God have called them thereun­to; and that the object of their choyce is such as can­not but out of wilfull stub­bornnesse be any way re­jected, is likewise a provo­king of them, one way to Incontinency, an other to discontent.

4. Parents provoke their children, when being trans­ported with some head­strong, and immoderate [Page 211] passion, they breake forth into violence, and fall upon them, even for surmised er­rours with bitternesse and excesse, not weighing what Reason might suggest, but yeelding wholly to their owne unbridled rage: and in this manner also was Saul injurious unto Ionathan, when he darted at him with a Speare to hi [...] him, and that for no other cause, than ta­king upon him the defence of Dav d, his innocent and absent friend. For Ionathan hereupon arose from the Table in a great anger, saith the Text, and did eate no meate the second day of the moneth, as being sorry for David, and that his Fa­ther had reviled him. Pa­rents therefore provoke not your [Page 222] Children. Correct them not either unjustly or immode­rately. Vnjust correction I call that, which is not groū ­ded upon a lawfull cause. Againe, Immoderate, when the greatnes of the punish­ment transcends the grie­vousnesse of the crime. A thing prohibited even by divine authority. If the wicked, Deut. 25.3. saith the Lord, bee worthy to be beaten, the Iudge shall cause him to lie downe and bee beaten before his face accor­ding to his trespasse unto a cer­taine number. They which are under our government, are not to bee punished ac­cording to our lust, and pleasure, but proportiona­bly, & as the nature of their transgression shall require. I pray thee, said Plato to Speu­sippus [Page 223] doe thou correct my ser­vant, for I am angry. It must bee done even to the greatest malefactors with the spirit of milden [...]sse, not of madnesse; of love and lenity, not of choller and seve­rity. Antiquity feigned that the Chariot of Iustice was alwayes drawne by two aged, and decrepit women,Pierius Hi­eroglyph. lib. 42. the one whereof had in her hand a sword whose edge was blunted, and whose point was bro­ken; the other went crouch­ing upon a staffe; intima­ting hereby to us, that in punishing such as are under our command, wee should never goe but a Criples pace, nor strike, but with such an Instrument as may not pierce too deepe. I can­not [Page 214] therefore but much condemne the tragicall as­perity of Marcus Scaurus; Lucius Brutus; Manlius Tor­quatus, and others, who ha­ving emptied their Bo­somes of all fatherly affecti­on, did eyther with their own hands revenge the de­re inquencies of their chil­dren, or at least see it done with their owne eyes. Aulus Fulvius, a noble Senator, had a Sonne, whose worth even in the flowre of his youth made him the honour of his equalls; and gave the most renowned in the Verge of Rome occasion to expect, one, that should quickly parallell if not exceed them in their best performances. But alas! no Plant so hope­full, which may not bee [Page 215] blasted in the up-spring. Lewd counsell had at length seduced him to side w^th Catiline, against the com­mon-weal; his father having notice of his revolt, inter­cepted him on the way, and put him presently to death. He might have kept him in hold till the rage of that civill tempest had beene over; but hee thought it a greater glory to be counted a cruell Father, than a cau­tious; and yet I think there are few so iron-hearted, as to commend the severity of his Act. Esse debet penes patrem dulcis conditio libera servitus, absoluta custodia, timor laetus, blanda ultio, paupertas dives, Serm 1. secura possessio, saith Chrysolo­gus. The bondage of a child under his Father should bee [Page 216] no other than a sweete and pleasing kind of liberty; the yoake which bee imposeth on him, should bee soft, and not any way wring his necke. If an offence bee committed, the correction must be such as may seeme to court an amendment ra­ther, than enforce it, that being no way tainted with servility, hee may rejoyce continually in that feare, which is to over-awe his corruptions. I have reade of a Father,Vale. Max. lib. [...]. cap. 9. his name is not extant, who having notice that his sonne did secretly practise his death, would not bee perswaded that so unnaturall a thought could bee nestled in the Bosome of one Legitimate; and therefore humbly besought [Page 217] his wife, that shee would tell him truly, whether shee had thrust upon him that young man, or else concei­ved him by some other: at length being throughly re­solved upon her many oathes, and deepe assevera­tions, that hee was his owne, hee tooke him aside into a solitary place, put a sword which he had privily brought along with him, into his hand, and with­all presented him his naked throat, affirming, that there needed not either poyson, or the hand of any base assassinate to commit a parricide; hee was now furnisht with the meanes, and therefore willed him to dispatch it. The sonne hereupon was so dismayed, [Page 228] that hee flung away the weapon; and with a kinde of extasie cryed out, Tuverò pater vive; O live my father; Et si tam obseq [...]ens es, ut hoc precari filio permittas, me quoque exupera: and if thou be so obsequious, as to allow this prayer of mine, fall upon me, and take away my life, who would have depri­ved thee of thine. Onely this I beseech thee, let not the love which I have towards thee, bee the lesse esteemed, because repen­tance gives it both a Birth & Beeing. It is a memorable example; and sure it will become a loving and Chri­stian Father, in the chaste­ning of his ch [...]ldren, to make this rather the pat­terne of his imitation, than [Page 229] the former. It is the saying of Menander.

A little punishment with them should bee sufficient for the expiation of a great offence. New Wines are harsh, but commonly the older they grow the more delightfull is their taste: And so it is with youth. I will not say with him in the Comedie, Non est flagitium Adolescentulum scortari, neque potare n que fores effringere, &c. But this He say, That where such rio [...]ous Aff [...]cti­ons [Page 220] happen, Parents should not bee so transported with any violence of Passion, as presently to cast them off, and blot them out of the list of their children; but patiently waite, Donec de­ferbuerint, Till their heate be spent; and labour in the meane space by Prayer, and Precepts, and moderate se­veritie also, to stay the headstrongnesse of their condition.

Gods Spirit is able even in a moment to make the spotted Leopard, a Milke­white Ermin; the Tawnie Ethiopian, as free from Mor­phue, as the beauteous Ra­chel. To follow therefore any tyrannous and unnatu­rall course, is to affront his sweet and milder operati­on; [Page 221] and gives an argument that wee despaire of his goodnesse. Saint Augustine reports of his mother, that she gave great Almes, went twice a day to the Church, and there upon her Knees powred forth both Prayers and Teares, not for Gold, or Silver, or any other world­ly thing, but for his true conversion to the faith; and at length shee reapt the ac­cōplishment of her desires.

Sowre Grapes may prove sweet Reasons, and ragged Colts good horses. Themisto­cles was so desbauched in his younger yeares, that his Fa­ther did disinherit him; and his mother overcome with shame, and not able to stand under the burden of so great a griefe, prevented the hand [Page 232] of Nature,Val. Max. lib. 6, cap. 11 and with her owne in a most tragicall manner abridged the dayes of her wearisome life; and by this means was deprived of that sweet contēt, which not long after shee might have enjoyed, by seeing him quite weaned from all irregularities, and be­come a valiant Captaine, and a prudent Governour. The like happened to Alci­biades, to Scipio the African, to Valerius Fla [...]cus, to Fabius Maximus, and divers others, whose unriper age was a blemish to the house from whence they came; and to the City wherin they lived; but Time made them the greatest ornaments to both.

It is storied of Polemon the Athenian, that when he was [Page 233] a young man, he was in all luxurious courses prodigi­ously exorbitant; but en­tring on a certaine day into the Schoole of Xenocrates, with no better intent, than to jeere both him and his profession, he was at length so astonished at the gravitie of the Philosopher, and so inwardly touched with the weightinesse of his sayings, that hee did immediately lay aside all barbarous beha­viour; Et ex infami ganeone maximus Ph [...]losophus evasit; an by that one lecture, of a notorious Ruffian, b [...]c [...]me himself the greatest Philo­sopher that those times af­forded. We read likewise of Aristotle that having in his yonger yeares, played away his Patrimonie, he betooke [Page 224] himselfe to the warres; but finding that course of life not agreeable to his hu­mour,Aelian, lib. 5 c. 9. he turned Apothecary, frequented the Schooles, and proved in the end, the Prince of all Philosophers. Iu­lius Caesar, the rarest Mo­narch that ever the world brought forth, was in his first up-spring of so effemi­nate a carriage and behavi­our, that hee minded no­thing but the satisfying of his owne voluptuous, and loose desires; but being growne to a maturer State, he so improved his worth in Martiall discipline; that ere Time had runne any long race, hee was seene invested with the Romane Empire.

It is an ancient Proverbe; They goe farre which never [Page 225] turne; even Saul at one time or other, may bee found amongst the Prophets. Somewhat must bee borne with in respect of their age; He that names youth, names ignorance, small experience, Infinite Longings; a sud­dain quicknesse in entertai­ning them, and a foolish rashnesse in injoying them.

Remember not, O Lord, the sinnes of my Youth, cries David; and againe, Lord take mee not away, in dimidio dierum, in the middest of my dayes, that is, in my youth. Adam and Eve were young, when to satisfie a fond and foolish Appetite, they forfei­ted the royallest jurisdicti­on, that ever was. Yea there is not that Vice, saith S. Aug. which hath not a desire to [Page 236] nestle it selfe in the Brest of Youth.

They were young men, which Ezekiel saw with their backes towards the Sanctum Sanctorum, ap. 8. v. 16. courting their owne wanton Affecti­ons with the sent of sweete Flowers; and which in all haste planted a Vine-yard, saying, Vtamur creatura &c. Come let us enjoy the good things that are present; Sap. 2.6. let us fill our selves with costly wine and ointments; let us crowne our Heads with the Buds of Roses before they bee withered, &c.

Young men lost Rehobo­am his kingdome; Phaeton was young, when through his rash and unadvised ma­naging of the Sunnes bright Chariot, hee set this whole [Page 237] frame of Nature on a fire. Hee was of the same haire, whom that married wife in the Proverbs, allured to her house,Cap. 7. v. 13 there to take their fill of love, during the ab­sence of her husband.

This considered, Parents should not, when they see their children any way ex­travagant, slacke their en­deavours to reforme them for want of Hope; nor yet forgoe their Hope, because they faile in their endea­vours; Peregrinari poterit tantummodo illorum animus in nequitia, non habitare; Vice may peradventure have some kinde of Tenure in their Bosomes, but no Free­hold; and who knowes how s [...]one the Lord may grant an Ejectio firmae to cast it out. [Page 228] And therefore Fathers, for­beare with too much rigour to provoke your children.

5. And lastly, The impro­vidence of Parents in the education of their Issue, du­ring their minoritie, may prove a great provocative both of griefe, and anger to them in their riper yeares. For what can more distract a man, than when he is left at his owne dispose, to see himselfe unfurnished of all such meanes, as should sup­port his Being in the world? We have the experience of it daily, while some pine away to death in the con­templation of their necessi­ties; others, to redresse them, venture upon lawlesse courses, and bring their lives at length to a sad, and [Page 229] tragicall Catastrophe, Cur­sing at their departure the very Vrnes in which the Authors of their miseries doe lie entombed. It be­hoves a Father therefore, if he cannot leave his posteri­ty a sufficient inheritance, to traine them up to some profession, which is indeed the surest fence to keepe them out of the iron clut­ches of an unsufferable want. The other is onely an Aegyptian Reed; And how can wee relie upon it for security, when accor­ding to the Poët;

Fortune is Mistris over the greatest Patrimonies, and infinite are the chances, whereunto they are liable. He that is as rich, as Croesus at the rising of the Sun, may bee as poore, as Irus be­fore his going downe. Iob was the wealthiest man in all the East, and yet upon a suddaine; no roome was left him for the enter­tainment of his friends, but the lothsome dunghill. [Page 241] A Thiefe, a Storme, a Fire is enough to bring to naught the labours of many yeares. But knowledge is a thing exempted from all miscarrying, and a sure re­venue to him, that hath it; [...], as Menander calls it; a possession out of the checke of all disastrous Accidents. Claudius Nero, when the Mathematicians had informed him,Sueton. that hee should one day bee depri­ved of his Soveraignty, chear'd up himselfe with this; [...]. That there was no Climate under heaven so barbarous, but would afford an Artist sufficient maintenance. Ma­ny therefore did excuse his serious practising of Mu­sick, and blanch it from as­spersion, [Page 232] as being a Science, which afforded him plea­sure while he was a Prince, and might procure him profit, when hee should bee a private person. Solon made a Law, that the Father w^ch had not bred up his son to some one trade or other in his youth, should not bee relieved by him in his age. The carelesnesse of those of Megara in this kinde, gave Diogenes occasion to say, that hee had rather be their sheepe than their sonne;Aelian. l. 12. cap. 56. in­timating, their Providence to bee greater for the bree­ding up of their Cattle, than their children. And it is a fault too frequent in this our age. A Gen­tleman is usually more sollicitous for his Horse, or [Page 233] his estate, than either for Sonnes or daughters; Hee will bee sure at any rate to provide a faithfull Steward for the one, and to enquire out a skilfull Rider for the other; one that shall looke to the feeding & dressing of him with all di [...]igence; when the weakest Tutor, so he be the cheapest, shall be thought fit enough for the fashioning & informing of his Children. And hence it is, that for the greatest part they degenerate from Ver­tue, and prove altogether distorted in their lives and conversations. Iulians A­postasie is ascribed mainly to his Governour, who be­ing seasoned with bad lea­ven himselfe, did likewise sowre him. I finde it in the [Page 244] Rolles of A [...]tiquitie recor­ded of one of no meane quality, that comming to a Philosopher, and having asked him, what stipend he should give him, to traine up his sonne in the know­ledge of Letters; a pretty round summe was deman­ded, whereupon the Father replyed, that hee could with lesse charge purchase a Slave and have him taught at hom [...]: I, said the Philo­sopher, and so for one Slave thy house in a little space may bee furnished with twaine. Young Natures are in this, like Looking-glas­ses; bend them toward the earth, and they will shew you nothing but what is earthly; turne them up to heaven-wards, and whatso­ever [Page 245] Objects they represent will bee heavenly. Trees grow not, either streight, or crooked, but as they are ordered by the hand, which doth first plant them. Cloth stained in the Wooll, will hardly bee brought to any other hewe;

New Vessels will savour long of that liquor, where­with they were first seaso­ned. Wee are all naturally prone to corrup [...]ion. Now when unsetled youth as the Comick speakes, Magistrum cepit ad eam rem improbum, ipsum animum aegrotum ad de­teriorem partem plerumque ap­plicat; [Page 236] lights upon a Guide addicted to vicious practi­ses, the craggy minde is commonly swaid to the worser part. Parents there­fore should be very wary, to whom they doe com­mit the Education of their children. A good Tutor is to bee preferred before much Treasure. Blessed bee our Ancestors, saith the Saty­rist, and may their Ashes never be molested,

Who held a learned, and judicious Schoole-master worthy the utmost reve­rence, that the best Fathers or Mothers could by nature [Page 237] challenge to themselves. And indeed according to Plato, the benefit, which we receive from these, our Pa­rents, and the gods, is farre beyond the limits of requi­tall. Philip of Macedon, Patric. Se­r [...]. Lib. 2. Tit. 7. de Repub. did not so much rejoyce, that a sonne was borne unto him as that hee hapned to bee borne, when hee might have Aristotle for his Tea­cher; And it was afterwards Alexanders owne ingenu­ous acknowledgment, that he was no lesse beholding to Aristotle for his breeding, than to Phillip for his birth. The one gave him his Be­ing, but the other shewed him how to use it, with glo­ry to himselfe, and good to others. Diogenes the Cynik in his passage to Aegina was [Page 248] taken by Pirates, who brought him into the Mar­ket at Corinth to bee sold, where Xeniades bought him out of their hands, & gave him not only the regiment of his Children, but likewise of his whole house; A trust, which hee so faithfully dis­charged, that Xeniades him­selfe was often heard to say, [...];Diog. La [...]r. Fortune, I give thee thankes, that by thy meanes a good Angell is entred in­to my house. I could en­large my selfe in this dis­course, but it shall suffice only to give you a taste, and away; I passe therefore now from the Act prohibited, and come to the Persons, in whose behalfe it is prohibi­ted, Children. Father provoke [Page 249] not your Children.

The name is generall, as in the former Verse, and de­notes unto us even Sonnes and Daughters in law, as well as naturall Children; for even these may like­wise bee provoked.

1. By suspecting without just cause the soundnesse and sinceritie of their af­fections; in secretly liste­ning and enviously enqui­ring after every thing they eyther savor doe.

2. By suffering even our meanest servants to molest them, and to exercise a kind of insulting mastry and do­minion over them.

3. By branding their car­riage and conversation with undeserved markes of in­fancy.

[Page 240]4. And lastly, by giving evill Counsell, or carrying of Tales, whereby to exas­perate the sonne against his wife, or the daughter a­gainst her husband; a pra­ctise hatefull in any, but ut­terly to bee abhorred in Pa­rents, whose care should ra­ther bee to tack the Vine to the sides of the house, that it might grow there with pleasure and delight, than with a most unnaturall and felonious hand to teare it it from that, which should support it; and therefore pa­rents provoke not your children.

Your Children; Hee doth not say this, or that Childe, but universally, and without any limitation, Your Chil­dren. Some are all for the Elder, and make no more [Page 241] account of the yonger, bee they never so many, than if they were not the fruit of their owne bodies, but the spurious issue of some un­lawfull copulation; a fault too general in this our land; and it ariseth from too great an ambition of perpe­tuating their name, which transports them indeed so farre, that they grow for­getfull of Nature. Others on the contrary, are all for the younger; Quo serior, eo dulcior; they make the Dilling, their Darling; And this in a manner is incident to all. Isaac was the Sonne, whom Abraham, as Iosephus writes; [...], loved a­bove measure, with surpas­sing and more than ordina­ry love. The like was Ioseph [Page 242] unto Iacob; Gen. 45. v. ult. I have enough, said hee, when after a long misse of him, he understood of his safety in the Land of Egypt, Ioseph my son is yet alive. And I deny not but affection may lawfully be extended, upon particular respects more to one childe than an other, provided alwayes that none may bee provoked. The Prohibition is generall: Fa­thers provoke not your children.

Children. The very word hath in it an Argument, whereby Parents may bee easily incited to forbeare that which is here forbid­den. For it is no other, than if the Apostle should have said, Bee not injurious to your owne flesh, wring not out your owne blood, wound not your own Bowels; [Page 243] bee not cruell to your owne selves. For according to Aquinas, Filius est aliquid Patris; The Sonne is a peece of his Father; & as the Philoso­pher tels us, [...]; I wil render it in the Apostles phrase, No man ever hated his own flesh. It is said in the Can­ticles, That Love is strong as death; And by this is intima­ted unto us, that of al the af­fections in man, Love is the strongest, and [...], Love unto children is most passio­nate of all. Multa volumus patriae debere, multa parentibus, saith the Prince of Orators, multa demum multis, sed fi­liorum causâ omnia volumus: We joy to doe much for the good, and safety of our Countrey, for our Parents much, and much for many, upon manifold occasi­ons; [Page 244] but what is it we will not doe for our Children? These are our very Bowels, and in these our joy, our love, our life, and all our Affections live.

1. In regard of Nature. For Bonum est sui diffusivum; The Lord in the beginning said, Encrease and multiply: So that it is the Ordinance of God, and the instinct of Nature, for every Creature to cherish and save his owne.

2. Reason will enforce the like. For who should be more dear unto us, thā they who have proceeded out of our owne loynes? with whom wee are to live, and to whom at length we must leave the honour of our Name, the reputation of [Page 245] our Vertues, and all the Wealth, and Substance, which wee have. These,Gen. 49.3. as Iacob said of Reuben, are the joy of our youth, the beginning of our strength, & how should wee looke upon them with a murderous, or malicious Eye?

3. And lastly, Religion above all perswades a ten­der respect unto our Chil­dren. In Ephes. 6.4. we have the same Precept which is here; [...], Fathers provoke not your Children to wrath. And in the Gospell,Mar. 9.36. our Saviour embraced Children with an extraordinary love, as knowing, that the Dead could not, but the living should praise him; and therefore hee requireth a [Page 246] godly Seed, and would have Parents cherish their Chil­dren, that they may live to glorifie his Name.

If wee desire joy; is there any joy like the joy of Chil­dren? There is joy at every Birth,Joh. 16.21. said our Saviour; yea the very heathen were wont with great solemnitie to celebrate the nativity of their Children. If we stand upon honour; Childrens children are the Crowne of their Fathers; Pro. 17.6. Psal. 127.4. They are like Arrowes in the hand of a mighty Gyant; they that have their Quivers full of these will not bee ashamed to talke with their Enemies, when they me [...]t them in the Gates The Lord, Luke 1.25. said Eliza­beth, as soone as shee had brought forth a childe, hath taken away my rebuke from a­mongst [Page 247] men; counting it the greatest honour, that ever could have hapned to her selfe, and her husband to be the Parents of a blessed sonne. In secular Story wee reade of one Dercyllidas, Plut. Apoph. Lacon. a brave Commander, who comming to a publike mee­ting, and expecting, as it was the manner of the Lacedae­monians, that some of the yonger should arise, & give him place; not one amongst them all would stirre, and the reason, which they al­leaged was; that himselfe had begotten none, who in their age might doe the like to them. Last of all, in regard of Wealth, Riches are no way comparable to a Childe. Adam called his first begotten, Cain, which signi­fies [Page 248] a Possession, as if his chiefest and onely trea­sure, and yet hee was then Lord of the whole World, had consisted in him. Corne­lia the wife of Paulus Aemili­us, Patric. Sen. de Repub. lib. 4. when a certaine Lady of Campania, that was come to visite her, having bragged sufficiently of her sumptu­ous Robes, and precious Ornaments, desired in the end to have a sight of hers; shee sent immediately for her children, who being come, Behold, said shee, these are the Iewels and Gemmes in which I most delight. In a word, all worldly things are nothing to the comfort of a childe. God had endowed Abraham with honor, health and victory; hee had enlar­ged his substance, encreased [Page 249] his Flockes and multiplied his Heards;Gen. 15.2. he stood possest with Gold and Silver in great abundance; yet all this he accounted nothing, because hee wanted Chil­dren; His speech imports no lesse; O Lord God, saith hee, what wilt thou give mee, seeing I goe Childlesse? as if for a Childe hee would willing­ly have relinquished all those other blessings.

Iohs patience stood as im­moveable as the Centre of the earth, notwithstanding the news of much stern dis­aster, did without any inter­mission assault his eares with the various reports of sad events. For though one came to him first, and told him, that as his Oxen were ploughing, and his Asses [Page 250] feeding in their places, the Sabaeans by violence drove thē all away; then another, even while his fellow was yet speaking, that Fire from heaven had consumed all his Sheepe. Afterwards a third in like manner, that the Chaldeans had faln upon his Servants with the edge of the sword, as one scarce sensible of the losse, hee did not shrinke a whit under the burden; but as soone as the last messenger had rela­ted unto him the tragicall destruction of his children, hee then rent his cloathes, and shaved his head, and ly­ing groveling upon the grou [...]d, he filled the Aire with cries, and lamentati­ons. The like subject did produce in Psammeticus king [Page 251] of Aegypt a quite contrary effect; for being vanquished by Cambises King of Persia, and spying first his daugh­ter, by and by his Sonne, a­mong those, who by the ap­pointment of the Conque­rour were led to death, hee stood stone-still, and utte­red not a word; but at length perceiving one, that onely was an attendant up­on his person, in the troupe, hee mourned bitterly; and being afterwards demāded the reasō of so preposterous a griefe, his answer was; that the two first disasters did admit no character, onely the last, found Teares for an expression. And indeed ma­ny Accidents doe farre surmount our best ability to beare them; ‘[Page 252]Curae leves loquuntur, ingentes stupent;’

Slight cares will speake, when great ones have n [...] tongue. But to passe by this; wee may see by these Examples; that Parents should not any way pro­voke or hurt those, whom Nature teacheth them con­tinually to cheare and che­rish. Other Reasons there are, and forcible enough to keepe them from provo­king their Children unto Anger.

Pro. 16.32.1. The wisest and ablest men have found it a thing of no small difficulty, so to suppresse this passion, as that it might not hurry them into sinne. Ionas was a Pro­phet, a great Prophet, and [Page 253] appointed to preach to Ni­niveh the great City, yet being but a little provo­ked by God himselfe, and that no otherwise, than in his owne erroneous and weake imagination, grew presently so impatien [...], that hee did not sticke to tell him to his face, that he was angry, yea, angry with him to the very death. David was a meeke man, a man after Gods owne heart, yet by the provocation of the A­malekites, hee was so migh­tily incenst, that never any Nero could have parallell'd those bloody outrages, which hee did act in prose­cuting their presumption. Much lesse then shall Chil­dren bee able to stifle in their bosomes,Hor. Epist. 2. lib. 2. the fierce­nesse [Page 245] of this fury.

2. Our anger towards them, is a maine occasion of Gods anger towards us. For with what judgement wee judge, we shall be jud­ged, and with what measure wee mete, it shall bee mea­sured to us againe. Hee that is angry with his brother unad­visedly, shall be lyable to judge­ment; and shall not hee who unadvisedly, and without just cause reviles his chil­dren bee the like? They be the words of our Saviour himselfe.Mat. 5.22. And therefore Fa­thers —

3. Anger in the Brest of Man serves but as a Porter to let the Devill in. When is it but in a time of tumult and commotion, that hee sowes in our hearts the feed [Page 255] of Malice, Envy, Hatred, &c and workes us to the acting of his most damnable de­signes? When was it that Cain with a parricidiall Hand put a sad period to his Brothers life, but when Rage, and Discontent were set enthroned in his Bo­some? And therefore Pa­rents provoke not your —

4. And lastly, by provo­king them to anger, wee hinder in them the operati­on of the Word; It cannot be grafted,Iam. 1.21. where this Weed doth grow. Yea, wee wea­ken in them the power and successe of prayer. For who can lift up a pure hand, that hath a muddy heart. Let not Fathers then unlesse they desire to deprive their Children of eternall [Page 256] happinesse, provoke them to anger.

Again, Children must learn from hence, to fashion their minds to Patience, and with Meeknesse to embrace what ever injuries, and indigni­ties are done unto them by their Parents. For though cruelty in a father towards his Childe bee a grievous sinne; Wrath yet, and stub­bornenesse in a childe to­wards his father is a more enormous, and prodigious crime, Filios non modo retice­re parentum iniurias, sed etiam aequo animo ferre oportere, saith the heathen Orator; Chil­dren ought not onely to conceale, and smother their Parents weaknesses and im­perfections, but submit themselves with mildnesse [Page 257] like­wise to their greatest op­pressions. Quem ferret si pa­trem non ferret? saith the Co­mik; with whom should a man beare, if he should not beare with him that did be­get him? It is not for Chil­drē to expostulate w^th their Parents in this kinde; but yet let their Parents know, they shal bee countable for all such harshnes unto God. Hee gives the precept, and will require the perfor­mance. Therefore Fathers provoke not your Children.

Provoke not. He doth not say, Rebuke not, or Correct not your children. For both are commanded and required; because great is the profit, which accrues from both. For as touching the first; Heare counsell, my sonne, and [Page 258] receive instruction, saith Salomon, Pro. 19.20. that thou maist bee wise in thy later end. And a­gaine, Hee that teacheth his sonne, Eoclus. 30.3. shall vexe hereby his ene­my; but shall have cause himselfe to rejoyce in the middest of his Friends. Qui non vetat peccare, cum potest, jubet: Not to kill sinne where wee may, is to cherish it. The Shepheard if hee bee not obeyed at his call, sends forth his dogge to fetch the stragling sheep againe unto the Fold; hee hath a Hooke as well as a Whistle. And therefore as touching the later; Chil­dren may likewise bee cor­rected.

Prov. 19.15. The Rod, saith the Wise­man, giveth wisedome, but a Childe set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed. Chasten [Page 259] thy sonne therefore, Pro. 23.13. while there is hope, and let not thy soule spare for his murmu­ring. If thou smite him with the Rod, he shall not die: Thou shalt smite him with the Rod, and shalt deliver his Soule from Hell. The Caution then must bee this; Not to make Food of that, which should be ministred onely as Phy­sicke. Our Rebukes must bee milde, and our cor­rections moderate. Sweet Bals are best to scowre away the Dirt; and behold the proceedings of our hea­venly Father towards his children, may serve all earthly Fathers for a Pre­cedent, whereby to fashion their practise towards theirs. Hee never is so farre incensed against his, as ut­terly [Page 260] to withdraw from them his fatherly kindnesse and compassion. If they for­sake my Law, Psal. 89.31. saith hee, and walke not in my judgements: If they breake my Statutes, and keepe not my Commandements: I will visit their trans­gression with the Rod and their iniquity with strokes: I will not yet take from them my loving kindnesse, nor falsifie my truth. Wee must not guide the reines with too rigorous and stiffe a hand. Metus hand dinturni Magister officii, saith the Orator; Feare is but a bad Tutor; and whatsoever lesson he teacheth, it is quite for­gotten when we come to li­bertie. And thus from the Persons, in whose behalfe this Prohibition was awar­ded, we follow our Apostle [Page 261] to the Reason, upon which it is grounded, [...], Least they should bee discou­raged.

It is drawne from the in­convenience, which usually followes this Act of provo­cation. And this by the word in the originall is ma­nifested to bee wondrous great. For it is [...], which implies three nota­ble Evils.

The first is a Heavinesse of the minde, whereinto children, specially if they be godly & religious, are cast by this un­seasonable severity of their Parents; and from hence arise in them sundry sick­nesses, and diseases, by which Nature is enfeebled, and many times even life it selfe is abridged. For as a [Page 262] Moth is to the garment,Pro. 25.20. or a Worme to the wood, so is Sadnesse to the Heart, saith Salomon. Parents therefore must have a speciall care to avoide this inconvenience, that they may not bee thought to have begotten Children, with an intent to become themselves their Executioners.

The second Evill contai­ned in this word, is that stu­pid dejection of the Spirits, by which they become fear­full, and unapt for any no­ble and ingenuous designes. For finding by experience that their best observance is neglected, and all that ever they can do for the pleasing of their Parents, rejected as ill done, they set them downe, and doe no more, [Page 263] but waxe dull and sluggish in their undertakings. Now Parents must be very wary, that they drive not their children into this state. For Children are as it were the Armes and Hands, by which their age must bee defended; the Feet and Thighes, by which their Weaknesse must bee under­propped: and might wee not justly count him a madd man, who with some Nar­coticall medicine should so stupifie those parts, as never to have the use of them a­gaine? Can we then thinke otherwise of those Parents, who with their hardnesse and austerity, so dull, and stupifie their Children in their youth, that they can neither helpe themselves, [Page 264] nor them in their maturer yeares.

3. And lastly, this [...], carries with it, especially in those, that are not of a good and generous disposition, a desperate kinde of contu­macy. For when they see no hope of pleasing, they like­wise cast away all care to please, yea, many times they assume unto themselves a boldnesse to displease, and make it their sport, and pa­stime to provoke their Pa­rents. Now this in a Childe, is the very height of all im­piety. Parents therfore must forbeare such sowre usage, as may occasion in them this impiety. The Rider in breaking of a Colt doth seldome make use of the Spurre, but seekes by faire [Page 265] and gentle meanes to ring him to a perfect pace; It is the familiar managing of the Hawke that makes her forgo her savagenes. A Lion may bee stro [...]ed, hee will not bee strucken. Kindnesse may prevaile, where crab­bednesse shall be excluded. It is not eyther Lightning or Thunder, but onely the sweet and gentle shewes, which the heavens send downe upon the earth, that make her fertile, and willing to produce such food, and fodder as is requisite for Man and Beast. The Sunne by shining gently upon the Traveller, made him of his own accord lay by his Gar­ment, whereas to spite as it were the blustring Windes, hee girded it to him the [Page 266] more. Vnseasonable severitie is a retraction from duty. Let not Parents therefore provoke their children, least they bee discouraged.

The vulgar Latine reads it, Vt non pusillo animo fiant: that they may not bee pu­sillanimous, white-liverd, or hen-spirited, as wee use to say, which many happen to bee, having beene too much snipped in their In­fancy. The Philosopher gives the Reason, when hee saith, [...], that Feare is to the Blood, as cold is to the water; it hin­ders Action, and preven­teth even Motion. Some therefore alleage this for a reason, why the Children of Israel were not presently brought into the Land of [Page 267] Promise; because having beene bred up in the house of bondage, they would not have had the courage to looke upon an Enemy. Dicite pusillanimis— Say un­to them that are fearefull, saith the Lord, be strong; feare not; Esa. 35.4. behold your God commeth with vengeance; even God; with a recompence will hee come and save you. And thus we have done with the mutuall Du­ties of Children and Pa­rents one towards the other.