CHAP. I. Of Tom Stitch's Parentage and Birth.

IN Thred-Needle-street, at the upper end of Thimble-Alley, lived one William Stitch by Profession a Taylor, who was Married to Nan Needle,

She keeping company with many Men, to gain custom, at length she gained the French disease▪ which increasing, she Burnt her Husbands thred; this being known among their Customers, they [Page 2] used to jeer her, and say, She was a hot Needle [...]ndeed to burn her Husbands Thred; and when her Husband asked them for Work, they [...]nswered, No, no, do you think we will let you be our Taylor, who sows with a hot Needle and a burning Thred. In a short time after they were Marry'd, there arose a great contenti­on between him and his Wife, concerning their Names, she would not have hers buried in for­getfulness, and such a one as his to flourish: Her Husband, to save contention, yielded to let her Name be joyned to his, and so was called Stitch-Needle. Soon after that, she lived a more chaste Life than heretofore, so that she proved with Child, but her husband in a quarter of a year after dy'd. He being dead, and she very poor, could not tell whether to go for relief, having scarcely any Friend living, that would regard her; the time soon slipt away, and the day of her delivery drew nigh; but she not thinking it so nigh as it was, caused her to neglect the getting such necessaries us one in her condition required; so one day (unexpectedly) she fell in Travel, no one being with her but only one Maid, who first ran to call the Neighbours, and then the Midwife, but being delivered before she came, a poor Neighbour had dressed the new-born Babe, which was a Boy▪ Then a Minister was sent for to Baptize him, who having order, Named him Tom. Stitch; [Page 3] and a while after the woman asked the Moth [...] what she had to give the Child? she answered a with a sigh, that she had nothing in the Hou [...] but only a Porringerful of Butter'd Cabbidge which she had eat part of that day for her dinner [...] the Child crying very much, the Woman took i [...] and warmed it, and then fed the Babe with it who ever since hath lov'd Cabbidge beyon [...] measure.

CHAP. II. Shewing in what manner Tom was brought up of his being put Apprentice, how by a ma [...] Prank he lay with his Mistris, how his Master, catch'd him a Bed with her; likewis [...] how he had him before the Chamber [...] for it, and how by a Jest he was freed.

IN a few years Tom's Mother Marry'd again and lived very happy, put him to School [...] there maintained him till he was big enough [...] be an Apprentice, then his Mother bid him ma [...] choice of what Handicraft Trade he would; [...] which he answered, That of all Tradest he lik [...] that of a Taylor best. His Mother with [...] care imaginable, provided him a Master, who who [...] Name was Mr. Deceitful, who had a s [...] [Page 4] [...]ife to Servants, and Tom being more addict [...] to Waggery than ordinary, she was the more [...]ere to him; for every morning, if he lay in past 5 of the Clock, she would go up with [...]Cudgel in her hand, and pull Tom out of the [...]d, and beat him like a Stock-fish; she using [...] serve him so once or twice a week, made him hint [...]y how to prevent it; so one morning she [...]ning up to his Bed-side in a great rage, fell [...]on him, but he leaped out of the Bed crying, [...]omuch that the tears run down his Cheeks, [...]n she running very eagerly to strike him again, took up the fore-lappet of his Shirt and wiped [...] eyes, which when she beheld, forbore to strike [...], turning her back to him, and so departed [...] of the Room blushing, and never after that [...]uld she call Tom up.

But he being not contented with what he had [...]ady done, soon contrived a way to be revenged [...] her: For he imagin'd she kept company with [...] Gallants, unknown to her Husband, [...]efore resolved to find her out if possible. Tom [...]ing an opportunity, one day in the middle [...] [...]he week, he saw her warining a clean Smock [...]ich was not usual,) began to mistrust she was [...] meet a Gallant abroad, so after she had dressed [...]self, and gone out, Tom followed her, t [...] [...] [...]ngth she flitted into a noted School of Ve­ [...] where none but the Sons of Venus went [Page 5] Practitioners, who had each a rich wrought Bed for a Study, and a Daughter of Venus for a Book, which is according to the Poet, who saith,

Tom seeing where she went in, returned back to a Brokers shop, and hired a very rich Sute, Coat, Sword, and a Perriwig: In this attire he walked much like a Gentleman to that door where his Mistriss went in, and enquired whe­ther that was not a School of Venus, where a Gentleman might have entertainment, to whom the Servant reply'd, he might: Tom hearing this, entred in, and the first he met was his then kind, though before cruel Mistriss, deck'd with all the tempting dresses Art could produce, her face look'd like Alablaster, a Tower upon her head to conquer her Lovers, nay, her Smiles seem'd to overcome her greatest Enemies; in this dress she beheld his beautiful Looks (which was scarcely to be equaled by any) thought him to be some high-born Person, and her self happy, only to admire him; at length, she broke silence, and gave him this Courteous Salutation; Much Honoured Sir, your looks do presage you are of some Noble Extraction, [Page 6] your Majestical presence forceth my tongue to express what my heart thinks, yet I hope, No­ble Sir, I shall not presume in so high a Nature, but that you will forgive. I shall think my self happy to be reckon'd in the number of your Servants. He hearing her salute him, at his entrance with such inviring expressions, imagin'd what she would be at, so taking her by the hand desired her to be his Pilot into some haven of felicity; she yielded to his request, and conducted him up stairs into a Chamber; after he had entred the Chamber, he comple­mented her in this sort, Bright Madam, your matchless beauty hath Captivated my sences, and if you will but vouchsafe to honour me with your Sweet and Delightful Company, I shall think my self more happy than Pari [...], who enjoy'd the Grecian Queen; to which she replyed, Dear Sir, Command me as your own, while you remain here, nay, your sweet Looks hath so charmed me, that I could dye in your Arms, She yielding up her self so wholly to him, he entertained her with all the choice vainties the house could afford; but as he was taking his repose with her, he slipt a pair of Scizzers out of his pocket and cut off a piece of her bew Petticoat, and after he had enjoy'd her, made what haste he could and discharged the reckoning and departed. At his departure [Page 7] she hoped to have his company there again such a day of the following week, to which he consented, promising not to fail.

Tom made hast and sh [...]fted his cloaths, and went home laughing to think how he had served his Mistriss, & how he could have her at his beck.

Tom's Mistriss after she had missed the piece of her Petticoat, and thought Tom had been some Gentleman her Husband had sent (fear­ing he had heard she was there) on purpose to betray her (but never thought 'twas her man Tom) she vexing her self a long time, could not tell what she had best do, sometimes, think­ing one thing, sometimes another, in this per­plexity, at last she pin'd up her Petticoat, and resolved to venture home, let what would be the event; so home she went and found her Husband sitting by the Fire (poor Cuckold) warming himself, not thinking where his wife had been, or whose Fire had warmed her. When she perceived he was Ignorant where she had been, thought he made himself so on purpose, to hear what she would say; she sitting by the Fire very melancholly, at length her Husband asked her what made her so dis­consolate? she answered, she was not very well; the Cuckold (being very kind, as most are) caused a Caudle to be made for her; yet she could not be well for 3 or 4 days; Tom taking [Page 8] no notice of her at that time, but at last resol [...] to speak to her in this manner; Good Mistress I am very sorry to see you so Melancholly a [...] you have been these last 3 or 4 days, if you are any ways discontented, I will venture my life [...] purchase your content; or if any hath done you wrong, i'le spend every drop of blood in my body to right you, so you will but let me know the cause of your being thus sad and sorrowful; she hearing him speak thus to her, (which he never did before) check'd him for his Sawcyness, [...] ­ding him begone, which he instantly did, but for as he was going out, Though I have offended you now, some body else will please you befor [...] night, (that being the day he appointed to me [...] her,) she hearing him say so, mistrusted he knew, (having a Guilty Conscience) asked him wh [...] 'twas he said? Tom replyed suddenly to her again, I hope you'l be pleased before night, and though you think I know nothing, yet you'd [...] glad if I did not know what I do; she being touch'd to the quick, gave him half a Crown [...] tell her what he meant; this is the thing that [...] mean, said he, and pull'd the piece of her Petti­coat out of his Pocket; she blushing, gave him a piece of Gold, begging him not to tell her Hus­band hoping he did not know already: No, said Tom, he does not know, nor I will never let him; when he had promised her not to tell, she [Page 9] asked him how he came by it? he answered, I [...]m he that cut it off; then she blushing more and more, said, Dear Tom,

Now Tom lived more like her Husband than a Prentice, having store of choice dainties given him daily to eat, money enough, fine cloaths, his [...]ed warmed every night (in the Winter-time) and when his Master was out of Town, lay with his Mistris, but unknown to the Maid or his fellow Prentice. Tom's Mistris proving so kind, at length his Master took notice of it, and grew jealous, yet thought 'twas only a Fancy of his, till at length 'twas so plain, that he could not but take notice of it, and therefore resolved (if possible) to find them out; so one day he feigned that a Lord who lived in the Country, [...]ad sent for him, to take measure to make [Page 10] him a Suit, and that he was to lye there [...] night; but acquainted the Maid with his [...] (giving her a piece of Gold) charging her at [...] of the Clock at night, to open the door when [...] gave but one knock; he hired a horse, and had [...] brought to thee door, (the better to blind his wif [...] then mounted and Rid away.

Tom and his Mistris being glad of the op­portunity thinking themselves safe, at night [...] went to Bed, and he to her as soon as his fellow Prentice was asleep, and there enjoy'd the wish'd desires. But what should prove the mishap, at twelve of the Clock her Husband knocked at the Door, and being let in by, the Maid, went directly up stairs to his Wifes Bed-side, draw'd the Curtains, and there beheld his Wife and his Man Tom circled in one anothers Arms, both being fast asleep; when he beheld them lying so lovingly, could scar [...] contain himself in the bounds of reason, but was ready to pull them out of the Bed, yet pausing a while upon it, resolved to make an example of them both, and first of Tom; when he had called his Maid up to see, and be a witness of it, left the room, and left them both asleep; so about 2 or 3 of the Clock in the afternoon the next day, he came home, taking no notice of what he had seen in the night. [Page 11] The next day in order to Toms punishment, had him warned before the Chamberlain, which started him and his Mistris when they heard it, she wondring that she did not know it; nei­ther of them mistrusting it was for that. But she (that morning as he was to appear before the Chamberlain) asked her Husband what Tom had done that be should he had before the Chamberlain; to which he replyed, You shall know before night. When the time came, that Tom appeared before the Chamberlain, his Master made this complaint of him, Wor­shipful Sir, I have warned my man before you, to have him severely punished for being so im­pudent and sawcy as to lye with my Wife; and to prove the truth of it, I have brought my Maid to Witness it, therefore I entreat your Worship to have him punished with all the severity the Law can inflict. The Chamberlain hearing what a fool he was, to proclaim him­self a Cuckold, smiled in Conceit, then called Tom and asked him whether that were true which his Master objected against him? To which he answered, If it please your Worship, I can­not deny it; You are, said the Chamberlain, an impudent Rogue; not, said Tom, such an im­pudent Rogue as your Worship—ta [...]kes me to be; Come Sirrah, said the Chamberlain, I'le teach you to set your words closer together. [Page 12] He perceiving Tom to be very Arch, rep [...] him for lying with his Mistris, telling him [...] a great sin it was, bidding him Fly the E [...] braces of his Mistris, as Joseph did: Ma [...] please your Worship, said Tom, if his M [...] had been so fair as mine, he would not ha [...] forborn her: When the Chamberlain h [...] this Iest he fell a laughing, (as likewise all [...] then were present) and dismist him without a Punishment.

Tom's Master seeing him dismist so, m [...] what haste he could home, and told his Wife ever she let Tom lye with her again he w [...] turn them both out of doors; but if she w [...] promise never to lye with him again, he w [...] forgive all that was past; yet for all her promi [...] she could not but love and steal some sweet e [...] braces of her pretty Tom.

CHAP. III. Shewing how Tom was reveng'd on the Maid for not telling him of his Masters design, in taking him and his Mistris in Bed together; of his Mistrisses death, and of his being turned out of doors.

WHen this Quarrel was over, and all things quiet, Tom studied how to be [...]evenged on the Maid, for not acquainting him [...]nd his Mistris of his Masters Plot, in catching [...]im with his Mistris: Tom at length imagined [...] and his fellow Prentice was Marry'd, and [...]metimes he mist him in the night, yet never [...]hought of any thing but that he rose to make water, &c. So now he resolved to watch his water, and the next night slept Dog sleep, till [...]bout one of the Clock he began to jogg him, and all to know if he were awake or no: Tom per­ [...]iving his design, lay still and said not a word, it seem'd as if he were asleep; the other think­ [...]g him so, rose out of his Bed and went to the [...]pposed Maid, staying with her two hours before [...] returned again, where he found Tom (as he [...]ought) asleep. Tom sleeping Dog Sleep for [...]ree or four nights together, observed him con­stantly [Page 14] to go to her. But the next night wh [...] he was at Supper, he put Sleeping Pow [...] into his Drink, to make him Sleep sound [...] about one of the Clock (the same hour he [...] to rise) he jogged him, to know whether [...] was asleep: When Tom perceived he [...] asleep, rose and went to his Fellow Prent [...] Wife (but resolved if she spoke, only to whis [...] she lying awake ready to receive him; when [...] heard him, she desired him to drink that [...] of Sack, thinking Tom to be her Husband, when he had drank it up, she received him in her Arms, Embracing him very lovingly, t [...] remaining two hours enjoying his Hearts [...] light, and then with a parting Kiss, [...] her adieu. When Tom came to his own [...] he found his Fellow Prentice fast asleep as left him. In the morning about Six of [...] Clock, Tom rose (leaving him asleep) [...] went down (the supposed Maid being up) to th [...] her for the Sack he drank, and the kind Ent [...] tainment she gave him in her Bed. O [...] vens, said he, was it you? I beg you on [...] knees, never to reveal it to any, for if yo [...] do, I am undone! For I thought you to [...] your Fellow Prentice, to whom I am Marry [...] No, said he, i'le be even with you: [...] more he threatned to tell, the more she pe [...] swaded him not, proffering him any thing [Page 15] would desire, Since you are so willing to have it concealed, said he, I will take some pitty on you, though you would not of me; fetch me down half a years wages: and she yielded to give him the money, but not to lye with him. No, said he, I will lye with you, or tell. When she found she could not prevail, yielded to him; but shortly after she proved with Child, and left her service, desiring him never to reveal it, which he promised never to do.

In a month after she was gone, his Mistris fell sick and dyed, and he out of his Time in a fortnight after. His Master being incensed a­gainst him, turned him out of doors that very day his time was expired, so that poor Tom could not tell whether to go, nor what to do, now his best Friend and loving Mistris was dead, being ashamed to go near any of his Re­lations, he proving so ungrateful to them in his Apprentiship.

CHAP. IIII. Shewing how Tom forsook London, his sad Lamentation at his departure; of his be­ing entertained by an Old Woman (who was very Rich) in Leeds in Yorkshire; likewise how he promised to marry her, and sixteen Maids in one day, which he got with Child in Fifteen weeks; and lastly he appointed them all to meet him in a particular place; and how he deceived them, and left the Town.

SOon after Tom's Dear Mistris was dead (being almost in despair) resolved to take Ramble into the Country, hoping to find em­ployment there; So in order thereunto he pro­vided what necessaries he could, and the next week set forwards on his Iourney, and when he was about a Mile from London, in a Pleasant Field upon a green banck, on a bright Sun-shine day, he sat down and made this sad Lamentation.

Tom having eased his mind, rose up and went on till he came to Leeds where he was entertain­ed very kindly by an Old Rich Woman both at Board and Bed; for he no sooner asked her but she consented, and was very glad when he su'd to her for affection, whom she dayly wished to enjoy; yet kept off at a seeming distance for some time tho' not long.

This Old Woman doting on him, gave him any thing he desired, and Tom having her purse as well as her heart at Command, asked one day (when he was Kissing and playing with [Page 18] her) to lend him some money to set him up; [...] having not the power to deny him, let him [...] what money he desired; when he was set [...] (though in her house) made himself acquaint [...] with all the Maids he could, who thought the [...] selves never so happy as when they were in [...] Company, and brought him all the work [...] possibly could, Tom seeing them so loving kind to him, tickled their Phancies with prett [...] Love stories, and one above the rest, named [...] Betty, who procured him much work. Th [...] pretty Betty imagined Tom loved her, ( [...] having a Sweet-heart before) therefore every [...] she would constantly carry him a Legg of a Go [...] or a Turky, or some of her choice daintys. To [...] seeing how kind and loving she was, made he [...] really think he loved her, but resolved never [...] Marry her.

There was many other Maids he pretend [...] the like kindness for which his Old Landla [...] perceiving, grew jealous of him: so one [...] after Tom had been Kissing one before her [...] quarrelled with him, threatning to turn him [...] of doors, and to arrest him for fifteen shilling [...] he owed her. Tom soon quell'd her passi [...] with some sweet loving words, and was [...] into favour again: But resolved not to kiss any of the Maids before her face, but went he [...] to their houses, there being sixteen of them which he had got with Child in Fifteen weeks, [Page 19] [...]romised to marry them all; sometimes one came [...] him to Marry her, Sometimes another; [...]ut he pretending sometimes one thing, some­times another, so that he could not marry them. [...]owever (one day to blind them) bought a Gold [...]ing, and told first his Lanlady, (if she would [...]end him five pounds) he would Marry her with [...]hat Ring; to which his old Landlady agreed, [...] then she thought her self sure of him. When he had the five pounds, appointed her to meet him in such a style, about half a mile from Leeds, at [...]ight of the Clock precisely, and from thence to be marry'd privately. So likewise he went to all the sixteen supposed Maids, which he had got with Child, showing them the Ring, that he would marry them with, who rejoyced as much to see it, as if they were already marry'd, & gave to each of them one yard of scarlet Ribbon, to wear under their Chins that day, desiring every one in particular to meet him the next morning at 8 of the clock exactly, and from thence to go & [...] Marryed, to which they agreed: But yet he r [...]quested one thing of every one, and that was, [...]o lend him what Money they could, for he had, as he feigned, laid all his Money out to buy a Bargain of Cloath; they believed him, so one lent him 5 pounds, some more, some less, according as they had; and when he had got what Money he could, returned home to Bed. The next [Page 20] Morning rising very early▪ desired his Landl [...] to dress her self to be marryed, which she did, [...] went directly to the place appointed. After [...] was gone, Tom made what hast he could [...] the Town, but not to meet his Landlady [...] the rest that he had appointed; and after she [...] gone he writ these following Lines, and [...] them under his Land-lady's Pillow.

Before his old Landlady was arrived at place appointed, there overtook her first one [...] Maid with a Red Ribbon under her [...] then another, and another, till eleven had pass [...] The old Woman seeing so many pass by [...] with Ribbons under their Chins, wondred [...] much, till at length she came near the [...] where she saw all those that had passed by hee, [...] about five or Six more, all sighing and wondring [Page 21] at each other, thinking every mi­nute an hour till they see him coming; at length they spy'd a man coming towards them, made what hast they could to meet him; but when they saw it was not him, all their hearts were ready to break together; yet none broke silence, for fear of betraying themselves; but the man spoke to them, and said, I hav [...] a Message to deliver to you, but was charged not to de­clare it till I approach'd the Style, impatiently waiting for her Bridegroom; as the others did. They being gathered round about him; he pulled these following Lines out of his Pocket, they being sent by wanton Tom to be read to [...]hem.