THe Devil upon his late Conference with, and the courte­ous Entertainment, and fair Promises he received from his H [...]liness the Pope, they having joyntly considered and taken care for the good of Souls; that is, how he may have whole shoales come in amain; which he is certain to have, if that they will but embrace his Holinesses Doctrines, and put in practice his most Immaculate Commands; as in Murthering Hereticks, Deposing of Princes, Blowing up of Parliaments, and such like: his Devilship, I say, has been carousing it amongst his d [...]mnable Associates, and kept open House for all that came; which I verily believe few have done besides a Jesuit or two. But on a sudden he heard an Eccho crying, Honesty begins to get ground, Popery like to be wholly supprest, and Virtue like to be embraced: At which the Grand Sophy of the Satanical Synagogue belched out a groan, the rebound of which left all the Stygian Hell-hounds in a most clamorous howling; they presently run all about their Fa­ther of mischief, to know what qualm came over his stomach. H [...] darting an eye upon them able to confound a thousand Conjurers in their own Circles, (though with a wet finger they could fetch up a little Devil) mumbling out, Hell is undone. Why? yelped all the rest. An Armado (quoth he) cannot save us. Our Legions in the World next above are overthrown; all those Battalions that warred under the Colours of our red and fiery Dragon, are de­bauched: Jesuits. suffer this brack in our Acherontick Territories, and hotter assassinations will every day pell-mell maul us. All about him cryed, They would never endure it.

Whilest this indigested mischief lay broiling on their stomachs, room was made for an Intelligencer. The Devil gnashed his Jesuit. teeth, and asked, If the news were currant? It was answered, Yes.

Hey (cryes the Messenger) to unclasp a Book of my memoran­dum; [Page 3] Let me be hung in Chains of Ice, (as you are in Fire, if I lye) and be bound to eat Flakes in the frozen Zone for a thousand years, if the Globe of the Terrestrial World be not new moulded; the Ball of it hath none of the old stuffing: Catholicks turn Here­ticks, Jesuits burn their Books and Beads; Bellarmine's Doctrines, which by your assistance have got ground, are now confuted; Tran­substantiation turned out of doors. Not an Inch of Knavery in a short time will be had for Love nor Money. If you would give a Million of Gold, you shall not have a Courtier ere long in Debt; if you would bestow a thousand Pounds worth of Tobacco on a Souldier to swear a Garrison-Oath, he would die ere he will do it. All Rich Men besides begin to be Liberal, Poor Men not Contentious, Beggars not Drunk, Lawyers not Covetous, rich Heirs not riotous, Citizens not envious, Clowns most religious. No more, cryed the Tartarian Tramagrant. The other stop'd in his careere; and it was time: for this last Cannon shot through both his Broad-sides; the fall of this Mill-stone had almost burst his Heart; he sighed nothing but flashes of Fire; spit nothing but flakes of Brimstone; wept nothing but scoops full of Scalding water: for now he saw the dilaceration of his own Luciferan Kingdom, and the Exaltation of his Enemies. Out of his presence he com­manded all; they break their Necks for haste. He bawled for Mu­sick; ten thousand Soul [...] were presently set a yelling. He took no pleasure in it▪ he felt himself damnably heart-burnt; pangs worse than the tor [...]ures of everlasting Death fell upon him, and no hope of his recovery; which made an unexpressible howling in Hell.

No amendment being in him, he called for Physicians; but not one would come near him, they knew his payment too well: for Apothecaries they were subtle enough, and cared not for his cu­stom. He then roared out for a cunning Scrivener to make his Will: one was at his elbow presently, him he hugged in his arms, and cryed out, Welcome my Son, thou shalt for ever bind me unto thee. Sir Satrapas Sathan then goes on, and tells him, He is faln into a low and miserable estate, his case is desperate; and therefore being utterly given over, he sends for him to make his last Will and Testament: and so Seignior Scrivano b [...]gins, [...] gallops as fast with his Pen, as Monsieur Diabolo could with his Chaps. The Will runs in th [...]se words, or words to this effect following: Viz.

Monsieur Noverint (being a man whose conditions were too well known) had nothing said to him at this time, because the Devil was very bad, and had no stomach to talk of old reckonings (for Universe was in his debt) but had his payment, and was glad he got away.

Now as it often happens to rich Curmudgeons, that after they have settled their Estate on their Death-beds, (as they verily fear) and that their Wives gape to be Widows, that from their Husbands Coffin they may leap into a Coach and be Ladies; their Sons and Heirs cursing as fast (as the Mothers pray) until the great Capon­bell ring out; the Daughters weeping (when they know their Por­tions) only because they are not Marriageable; or if Marriageable, because ere they mourn in black, they have not Suitors to make them merry: and the Kindred as greedy (for their parts) to se [...] the Winding-sheet laid out, that they may fetch their fat Legacies. And then (Oh terrible then!) the old Fox revives, falls to his sleep, calls for his victuals, feels himself m [...]nd, remembers his Bags, cryes out for his Keys, seals up his Money; no talk of a Will, no hope of a Widow, no sharing of his Wealth. Even the self-same Pill took this Diego Daemonum, and recovered upon it: for all his Children, Acquaintance, and Servants standing about him, howl­ing and crying for him, Behold! this howling of theirs made him almost out of his wits, that madness quickned his spirits, his spirits made him rouse up himself, and with rousing he began to look into what danger he was faln; and by looking into it, to devise Plots again to raise it. Hereupon a Synod was called of all the subtlest and plaguest Praters in Hell, of which there are good store. Ma­gog Mammon there discovers his Disease, the cause of it, and his peril: His fear is, that his Kingdom would now be sorely shaken, and his sorrows, because all they should be sure to smart for it more then he himself; he therefore craves their Infernal counsel.

They all Conser, they Cousult, and from that Consultation (af­ter many Villanous Projects tossed upon their Horns, like Dung upon Pitch-forks, and smelling worse) this Advice was hatched, and had feathers sluck on the back, the rest were pluckt naked: and this it was; That Minotaure Poluphem (the Sire of all those Whelps barking thus in the Kennels of Hell) should forthwith put fire into his old bones, and fall to thrashing of the Dam to [Page 7] get more Hell-hounds, (brave young Devils) whom he may (like Tumblers) hoyst from one Friends shoulder up to another, and so pop them into the World; and they going again to Bull with other black Goblings, may ingender what Monsters they please, to set all the World, and all the People in it out of Tune; and the worse Musick they make, the more sport it is for him.

This Act was Filed upon Record, most Voyces carried it away: The Councel flowed currant; the Court is adjourned; and the great Beglherby of Limbo falls hotly to his business. Now you must understand, that the Devil being able to get Children faster than any Man else, he had no sooner touched his old Laplandian Gue­nevora, but she as speedily quickned; and no sooner quickned, but was delivered, and lay In; and had at this Litter, or Burthen, two Twins.

The Father gave to each of them a Name; the one was called Hypocrisie, the other Ingratitude. Both [...] s [...]its.Hypocrisie was put to Nurse to an Anabaptist of Amsterdam, but Ingratitude was brought up at home. In a short time they were able to practise any Tricks that were taught them: So that being ripe for Masters, Hypocrisie was pre­sently bound to a Puritan Taylor by his Nurse; and did nothing but make Cloaks for Religion to wear of a thousand Colours. He ran away from the Taylor, and then dwelt with a Vizard-maker; and there he was the first that invented wearing of Two Faces un­der a Hood. After this he travelled into Italy, and there Learned (and since he hath Taught Jesuits) to Embrace with one Arm, and Stab with another; to Smile in your Face, yet wish a Poniard in your Bosome; to Protest, and yet Lye; to swear Love, yet Hate mortally. From Italy he came into the Low Countries, where he would drink only with a full Glass, to over-reach you in your Cups of your Bargain. Further de­scription of a Jesuit.Out of Germany he is again come over into Eng­land; his Lodging is uncertain, for (like a Whore) he lies every­where: he sometimes is at Court, and is there exceeding full of Com­plements; he goes sometimes like a thread-bare Scholar, but with looks humble as a Lambs, and as innocent; but his Heart prouder than a Turks to a Christian. He hath a bewitching Presence, a sweet Breath, a musical Voyce, and a warm sort Hand, but it is dangerous to keep Company with him, because he can alter himself into sundry shapes: In the City he is a Dog, and will sawn upon you; in the Fields he is a Lyons Whelp, and will play with you; in the Sea he is a Mermaid, and will sing to you: but that fawning [Page 8] is but to reach at your Throat; that playing is to get you into his Paws; and that singing is nothing else, but to sink and confound you for ever.

This Ficture of Perdition (Hypocrisie) was not drawn so smoothly, so cunningly, but his Brother (Ingratitude) though there went but a pair of shears betwixt them, was as ugly in shape, and as black in Soul; he was a Fiend in proportion, and a Fury in condition: It catcheth at any thing, but cannot see the Party from whom it receives.

This is that Torpedo, which if we touch, a numbness strikes all our joynts and we have no f [...]eling one of another. This is he which m [...]keth one forget God and his Country, the King and his Kin­dred, only to please the Devil his Father. He that this day hath been comforted with thy Fire, fed with thy Bread, relieved with thy Purse, and kept from being lousie with thy Linnen, to morrow will be ready to set the same House on fire that hid him from cold; for thy Bread, to give thee Stones; for the Money thou lentest him, to sell thee (like a Judas;) and for thy Linnen which wrap­ped him warm, glad to see thee in danger to go naked. Thus have we this Gorgoa in his livest colours; because therefore that the odi­ousness of this Beast should still be in our Eyes, God hath Hiero­glyphically figured it in many of his Creatures.

The Vip [...]r is an Emblem of it, whose young ones gnaw out the B [...]lly in which they were bred. So is the Mule, whose paunch being full with sucking▪ she kicks her Dam. So is the Ivy, which kills that by wh [...]ch it climbs. And so is Fire, which destroys its Nourisher.

My purpose was, when the Grand Helea had gotten these two Furies with nine Lives, only to have drawn the Curtains of her Child-bed in which she lay [...]n, and to have shewn no more but the well- [...]vo [...]ed Fa [...]es of her p [...]ir of Monkies; but you see I have from her withered Teats brought them to their Cradles, from their Cradles carried them to Nurse, and from thence followed them till they were able to do service in the World: how they h [...]ve sp [...]d, you h [...]ar, and how they are like to prosper, you may judge.