• Preaching in a Tub.
  • Teaching against the backe of a Chaire.
  • Instructing at a Tables end.
  • Revealing in a Basket.
  • Exhorting over a Buttery Hatch.
  • Reforming on a Bed side.

With an Objection to their Common plea of Divine In­spiration, directly (without passion) proving there is but nice distinction betwixt the Brownists and Papists, who have bin equall Disturbers of the State yet in continuall Controversie one against the other. With an Argument against Round Heads.

LEVIT. Chap. 19, verse 27. Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head, neither shalt thou marr [...] the Tufts of thy Beard.

By T. J.

July. 7. Printed for R. Wood, T. Wilson, and E. Christopher.

An Honest Answer to the late published Apologie for private Preaching.

TO you whose ambition (not conformity) aimes to be the Elect) I write this Answer to your late printed Apology; with the confidence of Democritus I can as justly laugh at you, as hee did at the egregious crimes of the Athenians, and (since you have with serious folly and devout ignorance) made your selves ridiculous, I hold it altogether unnecessary to write or speake of you but in the way of Mirth, which if your large eares will attend, you shall have so to the purpose, that if you were wise enough, you should laugh at your selves, at least at your follies.

I commend your wisdome in forsaking Churches, for (as you have wisely chose it) a stable is fitter for you; and (to speake truth) a Tub is more necessary for a Cob­ler then a Pulpit, thus farre I hold with your Apologie; but, notwithstanding, if I prove you not all Mad men and Fooles, to maintaine the Proverbe, I will give you leave to ride me; the wisest man thinkes hee hath no knowledge, because there is so much to know: there were some hope of your Reformation, if you were but wise enough to know you are fooles: First, I will prove you Mad men; I shall make Fooles of you hereafter: (and that you'l say is impossible.) in the first place (according to my observation of the times; let a fellow come a­mongst [Page] you with some humourous Pamphlet, wherein Round-heads are mentioned, though there be neither Name nor Trade specified, nor no mans private Reputa­tion wrong'd, without Law or Reason by a crew of men he knowes not, he must be beaten or kicked (as the spi­rit moves you) from the place; and if such unlawfull violence have any relation to Religion I am an Heretick, all actions that tend to the maintenance of true piety are performed by Order; the Elements observe their Cen­ters; the Sunne, Moon, and Starres keepe their direct motions, (Creatures onely by Nature instructed) but Zeale in a Round-head is like fire given to a Granado, the strange Materials in disordered Flight, hazzard both Friend and Foe.

Your desires and hopefull intentions to alter the Go­vernment of this glorious Kingdome, with the Lawes and Liberties of King and Subject, long since begun, ad­vanced, confirmed and established by many pious Prin­ces, will appeare like some curious and transcendent well erected Pallace, whom ignorance would race in hope to raise it better; but beware lest whilst you are delving in the Foundation, the loftie Structure fall not heavie on you; To you and none but you, whose unhallowed throats have belch'd profanenesse to the Lords Anointed doe I direct this language; to you that are uncircum­scribed men, yet would confine a Monarch; what Order Rule, Edict, or Act of Parliament had you for your tu­multuous Confluence at Westminster? when men of all sorts and sizes that bore disorder in their expedition in a confused March were arm'd with hasty weapons of such various formes, as if they had newly come from the valiant Robbery of some old Magazine? when as I passed by them muffled in my Cloake unarmed (fearing no danger, cause I meant none) I heard them aske each o­ther, whether or to what purpose they were going, [Page] which question could scarce be resolved by one amongst ten; what was all this but madnesse, and what hath the ef­fect of it beene but desolation ever since to all his Maje­sties loyall and filiall fearing Subjects?

But I am too serious; I have spoke so honestly, that I feare you understand me not: I shall now begin to re­fute your Apologie.

Must knowing wel-bred men whose sacred houres have beene spent with much industry in the search of Holy Fathers for their Comments on the Old and New Testa­ment, be now (by ridiculous counsaile) brought to heare the Doctrine of an inspired Cobler, because he is repor­ted to be at the mending hand, and brings his worke to good ends: or a Weaver, becaus Mans life is compared to a Shuttle; or a Tallow-chandler, because our lives goe out like a snuffe.

Then againe, is there no difference betwixt Churches and Tavernes, Ale-houses, private Chambers, Stables, and such like places, is the Church lesse sacred, which is made odoriferous with the perfume of Prayer and peni­tentiall balme of Sinners teares, accepted Sighs and Sacra­mentall Vowes; when our Saviour said, My House is called the House of Prayer, but you have made it a den of Theeves: Hee spoke neither of a Taverne, nor an Ale­house, but a Temple, consecrate to his Divinitie: What a ridiculous thing is it to see a Fellow with a starcht face scrue his body into twenty postures, sitting in a Tub, as if hee were moulding of Cockle-bread, yet is as zealous in this serious folly, as if hee thought he should goe quick to Heaven in Elishaes Chariot; but let me tell you that know not, this word Zeale doth not signifie Religion, but an Ardencie to any thing; I remember two Lines of my old Friend, Mr. Tho. Randolph, who sayes thus in a well-penn'd Poem of his:

[Page] —where Heresie gets in,
Zeale's but a coale to kindle greater Sinne.

Such Zeale is theirs, I'le not beleeve every man that dyes in the confirmation of his profession departeth tru­ly Religious, because I see men daily more violent in the maintenance of unjust actions, then men Religious, whose patience is sufficient Fortitude, and can gaine a conquest without fury. I will now answer their plea of Divine Inspiration.

They manifest to the world, that any Lay-man may be inspired by the Holy Ghost to Preach and Teach, and no man must be this Sanctified Temple but a Trades-man; they hold it almost impossible for a Scholler, indued with Coelestiall Knowledge, acquainted with the sacred lives of Saints, delivered to him by the pretious benefit of Study, in which the Arts assist him, to have the En­dowment of this Divine Inspiration, yet they are sure on't, that they dare judge and justifie; which rather shewes them fill'd with spirits diabolicall; since the sacred hand of the Eternall Maker hath rrevocably set downe, Iudge not lest you be judged; Let any honest man inform me what affinity there is with Divine Inspiration and these following Actions:

Iames 2. 18. Shew mee thy Faith by thy workes,

  • Libelling against the King and his Autho­rity.
  • Defacing Churches.
  • Disturbing Divine Service.
  • Making the House of God a place for Ri [...].
  • Laying violent hands on Preachers, and taring off their Vestments.
  • Profaning the blessed Sacrament of Bap­tisme, by bringing Puppets to the Font to be Christened.

[Page] With many great ills more, too tedious to relate, be­cause to grievous too hear; if any man wil maintain these to be righteous actions, my reason is in a laborinth, and I shall be engaged to him for any light to lead me out of it.

Now I shall as well and as briefly as I can shew you the nice distinction between a Papist and a Brownist.

1. Neither of them will take the Oath of Allegeance and Supremacy, there methinks they might agree like Traytors, and hang together.

2. They have both the trick of wresting Scripture to their own use.

3. A Fryar is cut as Round as a Round-head, and hath as much Souse at each side of it.

4. If the Papist set up the picturcs of S. Augustine, S. Bernard, S. Chrisostome.

The Brownists wil set up St. B. St. Ba. St. P. Marry he will not come to auricular confession, as the Papist doth; because of an old proverb, confesse, &c. I would the Land were clear of both, we might live all in peace, and in the true fear and worship of God, and observation of the Kings lawes; for to speak indifferently, they are equall Disturbers of the state, and a great injury to the weak and ignorant who are so distracted betwixt them both, they know not which side to hold with: so that some are to chuse their Religion, when they should be established, and confirmed in it, and able to instruct others?

I will now conclude with a Comment on these lines, which are in Leviticus, in the administration of the old law.

LEVIT. 19. 2. Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head, neither shalt thou marr the Tufts of thy Beard.

You may understand that have a mind to it, how con­temptible a Round-head was at the beginning of the world, and joyn'd with no lesse Commandements then those against Murther, Adulterie, Fornication, Sorcery, In­cest; and by that consequence as much to be observed; we [Page] must needs, according to Nature and Reason, allow that Adam in his glorious state of Innocence wore his Haire long and lovely; and no question being of the great Ma­kers making, the Lord saw that it was good, the very same words he expresseth upon all h [...]s works: This is a plain Argument that God never made a Round-head, but man hath made himself one, contrary to the law of God, which saith, Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head &c. Nature hath bin ever counted provident, not super­fluous; he that made each limbe you have, made every hair of your head, and by that sequell it is no sin to wear it; no question but man appeared very beautifull in his long haire that God would give command he should not Round it. What a strange contradiction is this Age guilty of, that is so far from the observation of this law, that con­trarily they conceive a man to be a Ruffiian or Reprobate that wears long haire. I do not (though) make any great Apologie for long or short, for I could wish that haire might make no difference in Religion, for my part hee that cuts his Haire off let him cuts Head off if he will, it shall not trouble me.

Ile only sing one short Sonnet which I will title the Round-heads Funerall, and so conclude till further oc­casion.

THE SONG.To the Tune of, Turn again Whittington.
DOwn fall those Beetle-brains, who have expounded
False Doctrine in their Tubs, and truth confounded,
The glorious peace we had by them lies wounded,
No men in thoughts so bad ever abounded:
That I could wish they were all hang'd or drownded.
We might say ther's an end of a Right Round-head.

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