Plutos Remonstrance, OR, The Devill Horn-mad at Round-heads and Brownists.
I Grand PLVTO, Chiefe Metropolitan in my Demoniack Kingdome, have by the advice of my Infernall Counsell, thought fit to publish this my Devilish Declaration, to all my welbeleved children, as well Brownists as Papists.
His Professed hate to the Round-Heads.
1. THat whereas his Hellish Maiestie hath by some of his ill-affected and factious Children, been termed Round-head or Brownist, as being converted by the moving spirit of a Regenerate Sister, and begetting of her a numerous issue of Round-heads, Prickeares, Brownists, &c. We therefore fearing that the said scandall might prove very dangerous to our infernall Government, by the great disheartning of our obedient and well-affected chilldren the Romish Catholikes, in their plots and practises against their lawfull Soveraigne, [Page] hath thought fit to declare, that hee never sided with, or tempted any the said Brownists in any designe against his dearest Children the Catholikes, their Church or Ceremonies, but that it hath ever been our greatest care to animate both Brownist as well as Papist against our own and your common enemy the Protestants, their Church, King, and Parliament, which is likely to prove the overthrow of me and my infernall Kingdome.
His Copulation with a Holy Sister.
2. That whereas our infernall Maiestie hath been thought to have had carnall copulation with one Ruth Incontinence, a Sister in the Family, be it knowne to our deere children the Romanists, that though we have wished well to the said Sister Incontinence, and have bestowed on her some gifts of our Diabolicall spirit, yet had no intention to violate our vow made to our deer Spouse Superstition dwelling in Blind-devotion, in the parish of Ignorance, in the Kingdome of Popery, of whom We have begotten many obedient Children to effect our great designe for Ireland, and are in further hope, by her yet unperfect issue, to worke some way or plot for the confusion of this present Parliament, to which end wee have presented her with many tokens of our great love and favour, viz. One of [Page] the Blessed Virgins slippers, and many Images of her Son, likewise an Agnus Dei, made of Virgins wax, that by vertue of our Diabolicall Coniurations, hath power to preserve from fire water, sicknesse, and the deliverance from numberlesse perills, likewise many bookes of Ave-Maries, Imprecations and prayers to Saints, also one book fairely gilt, with Crucifixes on the lids, wherein is contained the Price that his Holinesse hath set on all sinne whatsoever, murder of Kings, father or mother, Rapes committed on sister, &c. wherunto is annexed a most excellent Epitaph wiritten by a Most Reverend Cardinall, and great Champion for the Romish Church, on his most deerly beloved Bitch, for whose sake, he built a new monument in his garden, on which he writ as followeth,
And for the further good of our Deere Sister Superstition, wee have spared no paines to inspire with our Diabolicall spirit of obstinacie and error, all manner of Brownists, Anabaptists, and many other Sects, which shall the more illustrate your Religion, deere Romanists, and that you all drawing several wayes, may▪ like Sampsons Foxes, fire the Corn-fields, or Church of our common enemie the Protestants.
His affection and care for his best-beloved sonnes the Romish Catholikes.
3. Wherereas wee have expressed our deere affection to our Catholike Children, in tempting the said Round-heads and Rattle-heads to reproach and vilifie the Sacred Person of their Lawfull King, and his Ministers of Iustice, and to speak all manner of Opprobious language against the Prophets of the Highest, nay even to glory in their falls, and pu [...]t them up with sulphurous Timpanies of preposterous zeale and mallice; so that one of my dear daughters dwelling in Sobeit, at hearing of the Bishops commitment to the Tower, presently caused a Bonfire to be made, wherein she express'd her great ioy at their fall, and fired the same by her owne hot zeal, and afterward affirmed that her Kitchin was more holy then the Church, because she had a sinke in't. And is not this deere Romanists worth my labour, in tempting them to what my naturall-born-Son the Turk doth scorn; to iustifie your own Rebellious plots or Treasons whatsoever, have not I made them make Orthodox Scripture Apocrypha, to make your Apocrypha Orthodox; say my deere Popelings, do's not all this make for you, and to the furtherance of you and your actions, have not I made their Common - Service almost as odious as your Masse-book, and for their Church, ready to be flung out at the windowes.
His Oration to the Rebells in Ireland.
4. Lastly, my deere sonnes of Tumult, have I been unmindfull to bear the Crosse in your victorious Army, under which you have atchieved victory, to the amazemement of your enemies the Protestants, in recompense of which favor, have you not drank healths to my Infernall Maiestie in the blood of your enemies, making their sculls your quaffing-bowls, to the glory of your religion, and the freeing of many souls out of Purgatory; hath not his Holinesse given you authority so to doe. Then take courage, and think not on those that have miscarried in such glorious Actions, let no reward of Treason trouble you, so long as his Holinesse bids you on, and I your chiefe Captain bid you on; On then, regard no teares of Infants, nor Rapes of Virgins, Your reward shall be in my infernall Kingdom for your iust Merits in unheard of Cruelties, which shall eternize you and your Religion, and give full content to our infernall Maiestie, who to your aide will send Legions of his Infernall crew to accomplish your desires on your & my enemies the Protestants.