TO you the Sanctified, Elected, Purified, Mundified, Justified, and Separated Brethren, I make this worthy and acceptable (although not Learned) Apology. It is not unkown to you how often we have beene vilified by the name of Puritans, Brownists, Separatists, Familists, and (at last) censur'd with the detestable name of Roundheads and Prickeares; that wee are so 'tis confest, but why should we be tearmed so in the way of disgrace, or villification, the manner of speaking makes the difference, I have knowne one man call another Sir in anger, likewise a woman beat her Maid by the name of Gentlewoman, termes in themselves gracious and acceptable, but according to sinister construction, the parties so termed appeare scandalized and rediculous: next they abuse our Doctrine of Inspiration, and tell us it proceeds from the spirit of contradiction, but little do they imagine our contradiction is begot by inspiration: for unlesse our bodies be haunted with sanctified spirits, how is it possible we should reveale the word, since most of us scarce know a word of the Booke, and that is the reason that we can preach as well without a Booke as with it, but if we can continue and confide as wee have begun (which I shrewdly doubt) it shall bee lawfull [Page] for every Elder and every Select Brother to use a Horn-booke (provided he be married) for I have heard a little reading will do a man no hurt, let him be learned past the Graces and the Sacraments, and (for ought I know) hee may bee as fit to teach as the best on's, and go roundly on with his businesse, according to his own head, and in conclusion gain the prick and praise, agreeing with his Auditors Eares, which are long enough to make Asses of those that write our Names backwards, and fix them before libellous Sermons, saying they do NOT RVB, when they do Rub, and rub the skin of to, wofull experience has made it manifest, but thogh we desire to have our heads rounded, we not care to have them rounded so close; there ought to be a mean in all things, but now Ile proceed to my Apologie which must prove how necessary it is for a Tradesman of any degree, to preach in a Tub, reach against the back of a Chaire, instruct at a Tables end, exhorting over a Buttery hatch, Revealing in a Basket, Reforming on a Bedside:
I shall begin with the first, and produce you the sacred Antiquity of Tubs, in the Days of Dido and Richard the third, There lived an honest, Religious, and fair spoken man called Diogenes, a Round-dealing Man, and was so inspired with the spirit of oposition, that he boldly durst affront the King, and bid him stand from betwixt him and the Sun; and beleeve it there was some mistery in those words: This man (to make short of my Tale) lived in a Tub, and he being a devout man, we must of necessity have this Argument allowed, that if he lived in a Tub, he preached [Page] also in a Tub, so that at last hee Reformed the King, who would daily leave his Palace to hear his worthy and Religious Tub Lectures, I wish our Times would not be more proud then the former, hee was a man of good life and conversation, and the Squares went Round with him, and when hee was smitten in Age, the King gave him the Title of Elder every day with which he continued till the houre of his Death, and so much for this piece of Antiquity.
In the dayes of King Arthur of Bradley, and his four hundred forty sixe Elders of the Round Table, the first men that ever wore Round-Robins, there lived a Pastor whose Fame (you all have had a spice of) called Cornelius, a sickly man, and did all in a Tub with very good Ordure, and one that was inspired with the spirit of Repentance, and a man whose Zeal to the Sister-hood hath caused him in one Lecture to sweat six hours by the clock, where it was his Fate by the heat of overmuch Devotion, to conclude his dayes, and preach his own Funerall Sermon.
And so much Testification I think may stand to justifie the lawfulnesse of the aforesaid Tub, whose spirituall Hoopes I hope vvill never fayle.
The Back of a Chaire is so far from having priority of the TVB, that it is much inferiour to it, and is never provided, but vvhen the good Wife hath employed the TVB about some other businesse, the body must as vvell be eased as the mind, but most commonly it is a vvicker Chair, vvhich though it bee not altogether Round, is halfe [Page] round, and doth almost agree as well with the spirituall groane as the Tub, and in case of necessity may serve as well (take top and bottome) as the Tubbe; but we doe not boldly (as that Arch Square head of prophanenesse the Pope doth) tearme our Chaire St. Peters Chaire, though wee have much more reason, and so it being needlesse to justifie with stronger Arguments the benefit of the Chaire, it being toward noon, I will draw neere the Tables end, where I doubt not but I shall picke out many wholesome Arguments, and enough to satisfie any reasonable man without that prophane porridge the Service-Book, and in this piece of Doctrine (by your favour) will be my owne Carver: this Table being finished with substance to worke upon will allow a sweete savour, and not strengthen but advance the spirit, and maintaine it when it is up, then if this place be not fit that alloweth both forme and matter, Ile stand to the censure of the veriest Epicure, who I beleeve would sooner swallow this Doctrine than a great many that seeme to make a more religious profession: And now I have satisfied at the Tables end, I will make no more Apologie for it, since apparant truths are rather bindered then helped with tedious Arguments.
I will now set forward to my Revelation in a Basket, which hath beene held sacred because it was given at the cost and charges of our inspired Basket maker, a man inspired with much Charity, and got all his reliefe by the Basket, it was by himselfe dedicated to the Sheriffes, and by them well furnished for the full edification of the poore, needy, and imprisoned brethren, who have suffered for the conforming [Page] and tearing off of Surplices; and why may not a man piously and zealously confirm the aged, and enstruct the youth in a Basket, as well as in a pulpit: the Tables end Lecture being ended for the Rich, the Basket Lecture for the poor and needy, let us proceed to the Buttery Hatch, which is the fittest place in my opinion to administer the liquor of Life and spiritual drops of comfort, where some zealous men of our Brother-hood have so overtyred themselves with earnestnesse in this Doctrine, that they have growne uncensible, not able to stand on their legs, or give a ready word, that even with Maudlin sorrow perceiving their weaknesse to proceed no further, they have wept with very griefe, being supported home with expectation of next mornings Remedy.
But he whole strength of brain and power of Spirit will preserve to hold out this Buttery Hatch Lecture, may with much ease administer Reformation on a Bed-side, where inspired with the Spirit of Vnity, we constantly conclude, and joyn in a copulative love without the unnecessary assistance of any light, but the flame of our own Zeal, with which I doubt not, but that we are equally furnished, proceeding from the pretious Coals of Devotion: and inflamed by the provoking Administry of the last Doctrine. I hope these Arguments will suffice sufficiently to [...]nform you of the necessary and profitable causes we have to vindicate and appologize for the Dignity of private preaching in so many Forms and according to this Method I shal now march on to the spiritual Postures, which have allusion to those for Pike and Musket, in which I will not prove tedious.
[Page] It is not unknown to you my beloved Round-heads that there may be a spirituall warfare, in which you are not particularly exercised in the postures of your Doctrine you will goe neere to suffer, and all the select of us; the first I will instruct you in shall be that alluding to Pike.
- When Authority is absent,—Disorder your Doctrine.
- When present,—Order your Doctrine.
- If absent againe,—As you were.
- If you conceive you shall have the better on't, Shoulder your Doctrine and march.
- If Authority bee too strong, then (Round-heads) as you were.
- If Authority appeare weake. Advance your Doctrine.
- If strong,—As you were.
- If you get stronger in Faction,—Charge to the you.
- But if Authority come in full power,—Faces about.
- Now Authority is gone,—Make ready your zeale.
- If Authority appeare not yet,—Charge your zeale.
- If you expect the Victory—Ioyn your zeale and rest together Blow your zeale. Prime your zeale. Blow off your loose zeale.
- If Authority come not yet, for out Sisters sake Cock your zeale, Guard your zeale. Blow the coale of your zeale
- Now if you thinke to overcome Authoritie, Present your zeale to the Left, and give fire to the Right.
- But if you be vanquishd betwixt this and Paddington, Faces about.