WOnderful ſtrange are the Fates of ſome, who without the Prediction of Stars, make their Perigrination into a a Subterranean Pallace; thinking poſitively to enter without the Art of Conjuration, and that the Grimjaw'd Regent will at all times break his Reſt for their Reception; but if they do more ſeriouſly conſider, and weigh the Order of that place, they'l find a thouſand dire Obſtructions interpoſe; for ſince the grand impoſture was in Hurricanes there ſent, he and his barbarous Crew have dately moddel'd antient Cuſtom •• and turned topſi turvy all the pleaſing Dictate; Fren'en Councils had impoſed, that none ſhould come without a lawful was nin •• that place, leaſt Inſurrection be inceſſant made, and all bernined, by ſome Cloſe Intreague; but women ſure, are not ſuch dangerous things, their Tongues the only Weapons are, and they enough to make grand Pluto ſtart, not being uſed to peals of Thunder, nor ſhrill Eccho'd ſounds; but ſince now we are diſcourſing concerning ſilent departures, and of noiſeleſs Fates, a ſtrange ſurpriſal whiſpers in our Ears, and tells us, that a chief Matron's gone, being ſent on a Pilgrimage to confeſs her Exorbitancies at the Shrine of Neptune, for the abuſes ſhe has lately done to his Element, and the Subje&s of his watery Territories. For this ſtudious Matron by great pains and induſtry, and at her vaſt expence, partly in the diſcovery of the Philoſophers ſtone, and partly to find out an ingenious method to reſtore loſt Maiden-heads, that ſo ſhe might to her abundant profit make a double Morgage to ſuch Buffoon beauty-hunters who daily accoſted her for the procuration of ſome Roſe-buds tho June be paſt, as likewiſe to ſinde but a private Tincture for to ſprucifie her Daughters decayed Phiſiogmony; amongſt the many ſhe invented, at laſt ſhe found out an experienced way to catch thoſe ſporting Animals, that frisk in watery plains (otherwiſe this) but by reaſon of her great Charge, in acquiring ſuch a peremptory ſecret, 'tis no reaſon but the Reader ſhould contribute for his knowledge towards the Magnificent pomp of her intended Funeral) the which is ſhortly to be ſolemnized, by the Order of her vertuous Daughter, a Lady of great Fame and greater Repute; ſhe among her private Chimical Operations finding Brandy to be of a powerful and prevailing Influence, that by the only help of that immortal Liquor ſhe had attained to moſt of her Experiments and that with a ſufficient Doſe, ſhe could at her Pleaſure as ſhe thought moſt fitting and convenient, either quicken or ſtupify the Sences, or locomotive faculties of Life and Reaſon, often pondering in her Voluminous Cogitations Its Conquering Prevalency: at laſt ſhe reſolving for her better Diverſion, to impoſe upon Tritonian Neptunes Subjects, the unthinking Gudgeons, that Sin ſhe her ſelf had been ſo often Guilty of; and as the Devil tempted Eve in her Primitive Innocence, by the alluring Inticements of a various coloured Pippin, ſo ſhe to imitate his Craft, getting a new half-penny Loafe, and taking in her hand a quart of her ſtupifying Elixar Vitae, ſome of the which ſhe drawing into her Mouth by vertue of a Quill, ſpurred it into the divided Loaf, and ſo with the moiſture, making it up into little Balls or Pellets, the which, ſhe caſt into the Element or Fiſhpond, the which no ſooner being in (ſuch a ſtupendious proficiency attended her Invention) but Sholes of harmleſs Gudgeons not knowing their powerful Operations) came nibling about them, which ſo tickled her Fancy to behold, that ſhe was reſolved not to be behind hand with them; but kept time with her Bottel, and ſo often did the good old Gentlewoman participate of the comfortable Creature, that ſhe exhauſted the quinteſſence of the Vas Vitrum, whereupon her imagination being Elevated, ſhe like Copernicus conceived a ſond Opinion that the World was made of a Windmil-Sail, and that it danced the Hay, and tripped about the dazling Luminaries of the Azure Skies, and this Opinion did ſo far prevail upon her Airy Pericranium, that ſeeing the Intrels of her Bottle were excruciated, and that the Monſieure was departed, leaving only a bare ſcent behind him, that it might be known he had been lately there, ſhe was tranſported ſo beyond her ſelf for want of new ſupplies, and thinking now the Fiſhpond had been turned into the ſame, and by device of Tranſubſtantiation, it loſt its Elementary Conſtitution, whereupon ſhe never ſtood to pauſe, but Glacus like her Feet were turned into Wings, and then ſhe cried I come, nor will I want whilſt ſo much ſtands in view, and making ſome Indentures, as the Emblems of a Will, (not needing then a Scrivener for that purpoſe, ſtraight ſhe flounder'd in; the Fiſh affrighted, fly and hide themſelves within the Ripid Banks, leaving for Manners-ſake their Breakfaſt half behind. But many of them having participated of the Good Matrons bounty were inforced to ſtay behind, not knowing what a Habias Corpus meant, their Benifactor being in, now found her grand miſtak; then long in vain did ſhe implore their Aid, but they like her, were far too feeble or inſenſible to yield the leaſt Relief; and ſure had Trident-bearing Neptune been there himſelf, ſo Corpulent a Maſs of Fleſh, would have outvied his ſtrength to have delivered her ſafe on Shoare; but oh, the cruel Fate of ſome ſeniſter Star that ruled her Birth, ſhe there expired, and left the Fiſh to be the Executors of her Will to this ſad and diſmal Tragedy, the which has cauſed a univerſal Grief among the buckſom Bana-Robas, So that is generally believed, that upon ſo Tragical occaſion, the Pallace and the Fiſh-pond will be forfeited to her moſt vertuous Daughter, Maddam Ellen Gwin, as Lady of the Soil, and chief of all the Bona-Robas that the Suburbian Schools of Venus late have fitted for the Game. And now in Gratitude to this good Matrons Memory, to be impoſed upon her Tomb-Stone at the approaching Solemnization we have compoſed this Epitaph as followeth,