A JOCO-SERIOƲS DISCOURSE. IN TWO DIALOGUES, BETWEEN A Northumberland-Gentleman, AND HIS Tenant a Scotchman, Both old CAVALIERS.
With an ANAGRAM prefixt to them: BEING Some Miscellaneous Essays, Written upon several Occasions.
By GEORGE STƲART.
Omne tulit punctum, qui miscuit utile dulci.
LICENSED,
June 12th. 1686.
Rob. Midgley.
London, Printed for Benjamin Tooke, at the Ship in St. Paul's Church-Yard, and John Story, in New-Castle, 1686.
TO Sir HENRY BRABANT Knight, MAYOR OF NEW-CASTLE UPON TINE.
SIR,
IF these following Sheets had been designed to have gratifi'd a particular Humor, or private Interest, it had behov'd me to have made this Dedication to one, of whose Personal Acquaintance I were more happy in, than I am of yours; but since the rashness of my Fancy has suggested a more publick [Page]concern, I know none more fit to protect my good Wishes to that Royal Cause, which you have so vigorously asserted than your self: Or if it had been possible for me (as I thank God it is not) to have offer'd an Effort, which by any Consequence might appear prejudicial to our Soveraign Lord the King, and consequently, to the Universal Well-fare of all his Subjects; it had been but Prudence in me, to have conceal'd such an ungodly Attempt from you; for what Incouragement cou'd any disorderly Act (if there were no worse in't) expect from a Loyalist of your Size, whom Malice it self cannot feign ev'r to have trode one wry step in the Duty of a Loyal Subject, and Office of a discreet Magistrate?
But why, Sir, should I pretend to be a Stranger to you? Has not the whole Course of your Life, (ev'n when Iniquity skrew'd it self up into the Seat of Lord Paramount) render'd you sufficiently conspicuous? first, to all true Lovers of your three successive Royal Masters, and next to the Adverse Party? Did not those set you before their wary Eyes, as a perfect Pattern both of Courage and [Page]Obedience, and these, as the very Butt of their implacable Malice? Cou'd I live so long near you, as I have done, and be unacquainted with your great Merits? No Sir, it's impossible, tho this be the first time I've given you the trouble of an Address.
It was in that Critical Juncture, you did manifest the true Sense of your Soul; when your early Endeavours to crush the Cockatrice in the shell, did but predict the After-acts of your Life to be no more to you, but drawing your own Breath.
Satan, among the rest of his subtile and hectoring Artifices, had the Impudence to tell his ineffable Creator, that JOB serv'd not God for nothing; yet for all this, when he had got him in his power, and devested him of all that was dear to Flesh and Blood, this admirable piece of Piety was still the same. And pray you, Sir, what have all those dreadful Engines prevail'd, which have incessantly batter'd against you from your Cradle? (And I wish the plentiful Effusion of Youthful Blood, or the unavoidable Decays of old Age, cou'd but obtain a Writ of Ease) what have they prevail'd I say? Nothing, but to your Advantage: The more they strip't, you did but [Page]the fairlyer discover a spotless and active Soul, darting it self thorow, and springing in the exact and liv'ly Lineaments of a well Organiz'd Body; or made you appear like the Winter Sun, which shines brightest, when the Frost is most nipping,
Again, Sir, the Magnanimous St. Paul did freely undergo Imprisonments, was over and over again, whip't by the Jews, beaten with Rods, Shipwrack't, was in Perils of Water, in Perils of Robbers, in Perils of his own Country-men, in Perils among the Heathens, in Perils in the City, in Perils in the Wilderness, in Perils in the Sea, but the worst of all was Perils among false Brethren; and yet this resolute Hero stood unshaken to the very last. If I were but to trace the Comparison upon your account (as far as the Cases run Parallel) it were but superfluous to those that know you, and incredible to such as do not. As long as Vice is Vice, it will stand in Opposition to Vertue; and while there is good Men to suffer, there will be ill Men to persecute. I dare not say behold the End of these, for who knows but Almighty God, out of the inexhaustible Treasure of his Bounty, may in good time give a better Understanding; [Page]but if some of their Beginnings have not been Ominous, it's a Paradox to more than my self; and let such as distrust this, look back on those who have formerly imbarqu't themselves in such rotten, and leaking Vessels and if they cannot discern a palpable Fatality attending the runners of such Risques, I hope they'll give quicker-sighted Persons leave to wonder at their Blindness.
I will be very thankful to any of your Enemies (of which by the Instigation of the Devil, and his Dearest Daughter the Good old Cause yo've had a gay convenient Number) if any of 'em, I say, can shew me when ever a force-putt-Conformist became not (as soon as ev'r he met with a promising Game for't) the most Voracious Devourer of that sacred Authority, which he most solemnly swore to defend: But it's Hypocrisy, not Conversion which I disclaim; and what Precaution is herein to be used, falls under the Cognizance of our Superiours.
Sir, It's not the hollow sound of an empty Panegyrick can Eccho to your Character. Original Worth is the firmest Basis of true Virtue: And in order to that, your own Acts can best speak you: It only remains that I beg Pardon for this Freedom, and the Honour to be allow'd to subscribe my self,
Loyal Sir,
Your most humble, and Obedient Servant, George Stuart.
THE PREFACE, IN A DIALOGUE, BETWEEN THE AUTHOR, AND THE CENSORIOUS READER.
Author.
HERE now,—at last ye may tak't.
Reader.
Why so surly pray'e? Other Authors will call me Courteous Reader,—Gentle-Reader.
Author.
Tho' perhaps thou hast play'd a hundred skittish Tricks in thy time.
Reader.
And then they'll say, I intreat you to take my weak Endeavours in good part, and I shall hereafter be incourag'd to, &c.
Author,
Ay marry, weak enough in all Conscience; but tak't [...] thow wilt, if e'er thou get'st any more of me, it shall speak to thee.
Reader.
But what is't all this while—? Let me see,—Ho, is't time aday now to publish any Poem upon such Subjects?
Author▪ Why not? They were [...] first (if a [...] had been well to that) as early started (and some Hundreds can bear me Witness of it) as any that appeal'd upon those scores: However, they being only then occasionally introduc'd, I doubt not but the Design, in the mai [...], will prove re [...]shing enough to a Loyal Palate at any time; and for such as are not, [...]m not s [...]rry [...] cannot please them.
Reader.
Unriddle that?
Author.
I was at New-Castle upon Tine (Feb. 11▪ 1684/5.) when the doleful News of the Death (if such can be said to dye) of the best, and one of the greatest Monarchs upon Earth first filled that Place with Lamentation. All appear'd in a Sorrow suitable to the great Cause the [...] fo [...]. Immediately, they Proclaim'd our present dread Soveraign, (upon whom Heav'n shower down the choicest of his Blessings) solemnising his welcome Access to the Imperial Crowns of hi [...] Royal Ancestors, with magnificent Splendour: Their New [...] was to come in the next day, but one, after; and to Illuistrate the Royal Goddness in so ample a Grant, another stately Preparation of the same sti [...]p was set a Foot. Having for that while sequestred my self from all Business, resolving to see the far end of it, the Ma [...] to all of a sudden struck. I had but little time, and so I task't myself accordingly, and got what I intended long enough ready, before their [Page]Charter came in (which was upon the 13th. as above.)
Reader.
Now I remember something of it; and if I have not been misinformed, the Entertainment that both it, and you for its sake, met withall, from the Person you presented it to, that day, might have sufficiently cool'd your Fancy, and put a Period to any more Dialogues of that Nature.
Author.
Quito contrary: For I nev'r had thought of a Second Dialogue, till the First was so treated; for, I being a meer Stranger to all of Remark then present, followed the Common vogue; nor am I so skittish as to boggle at an Affront neither, for thanks to many of my good Neighbours, I'm well enough inured to that and all upon Equivalent Grounds: But one Swallow makes no Summer; and since no Body knows who we mean on, all's well enough. After I had smell'd the Rat, I changed not the Humor, but the Scene, and fitted some Conceits as well as I could for Durham, against the Coronation; having more time for't, I Lancht further our; the Landlord Assigns (as you'll find) most part of the Discourse to the Tenant, and he in a Burlesquing way (after the Scotch manner) glances upon the History of the last Seaven or Eight years, in Allegories fit for his Character; for, notwithstanding the dismal Tragedies (the tremendous Effects of Phanatical Fury) partly perpetrated, but more chiefly designed for the British Stage in that particle of time, there was yet room enough for a Drol. I communicated both Dialogues to not a few of my Acquaintances, all Persons of indisputable Integrity, and truly they had the good Fortune, at least, not to be Contemn'd. They were somewhat noised abroad, and I was sore put to it for perusals, readings over, or, which was harder, giving Copies, that my time was spent to [Page]my prejudice: And further, such Copies as I gave were Re-copyed 'till (besides crippling the Verses, and other Faults) they made the Tenant speak like a Gew-gaw. I was unwilling to answer for any Fault but my owns; so, I sent both to London to be Printed about the beginning of June 1685. If the Act for Licensing was then Revived, it was more then I knew: Therefore, to make sure work, I trusted them in the Hands of a very Judicious and Ingenious Gentleman there, to know whether they contained any thing offensive to the Publick, or disgustful to any Loyal Person. The unnatural Rebellion of the West being then in the Zenith, he was taken up in higher matters, and they lay by him forgot 'till September next after. I met with a good report of this Gentleman, who got them Printed; I impowered him to receive them, and get them Licensed and Printed, if it would turn to his Advantage: After he had perused them, he returned them (with thanks tho I say it) assuring me the Tenants Language would prove inexplicable in the Southern parts, besides, the Characters of several Persons were so darkish, that they would scarce be apprehended. I now reckoned my self at ease, but it was returned upon me, by such as prest me for Printed Copies, as a Contrivance of mine to avoid appearing in Print; (a vanity I never was fond of.) In Conclusion, I had such profers to take the charge off my Hand, that he must have been worse conditioned than I desired to be reputed, that would have refused a Complyance. And a little after Christ-mass I fell on and drew another draught, somethings I omitted, others I alter'd, and a little I added, as also, the common English of every uncouth Scotch word, with some explicatory Notes on the Margent, thereby to facilitate the Characters, and render the Tenants [Page]Language intelligible. I know it's not usual in Poems of this Nature, but if the Reader should have both the Speech, and the Meaning of it to study, it might prove so Slavish, as to rebate the little piece of satisfaction, he might otherways have.
Reader.
Here has been a great deal a do about nought, it seems. But why shou'd you Characterize those Persons, who have already smarted under the severe Pens of the Greatest Wits of the Nation?
Author.
All of them have not, nor any in this manner; that ev'r I met with. Do but observe I pray'e now, If any Angler shou'd use allways the same Bait, or dubbing with his Hook, without respect to the Season of the year, quality of the Water, disposition of the Air, or Nature of Fishes be Angles for, he might oft return with an empty Panyer. One Mans Meat is another Mans Poyson; and it's hard damning of Proverbs; Besides all this, Losers may beg leave to speak.
Reader.
But let me look a little further into it. Why so great a distance betwixt the Natures of their discourses in many places? Is that sutable?
Author.
If you will but (as I do) understand by the Landlord, and Tenant, the several degrees of all his Majesty's Subjects, you'll find no greater Discrepancy in that, then may be in their other Circumstances, and Accoutrements. As for example, the Landlord may ride on a Fourty-Pound Horse, and the Tenant on a Fourty-Sinlling Galloway, and notwithstanding, both Travel in the same Road.
Reader.
Have not you, in many places belyed the Tenants Speech, as lig, syke, Pse, &c.? These, and many others being no Scotch words!
Author.
You must consider the Tenant has liv'd long in Northumberland, and has somewhat mixt his Dialect with the Native [Page]Inhabitants: The difference is small, yet Dialogues ought to be natural, as also he will now and then drop a word or two right English for fineness; And in truth there's nothing more frequent among such, when they speak to any P [...] of Quality.
Reader.
Why have you order'd those few Songs, for the most part to old and Common Tunes?
Author.
Because I would have them readily Sung. I have known many Witty and Loyal Songs lost, before Country People have found their Times. If any man think 'em worth newer, let him use his Art, and Welcom.
Reader.
Is this the Scotch spelling in many of your common words (as geud for good, bloud for blood, Naig for Nag, &c.)
Author.
No. There is no difference between the Scotsh and English spelling; it [...]es in the pronouncing of 'em: And I have so letterd them, and all such, only to put the Scotch way of it, into the English mans mouth; a Contrivance the English Poets are extraordingry faulty in, nor can their way either touch our Idioms or Accent.
Reader.
But tell me this I prithee now?
Author.
I'll tell thee no more, Man. The Preface is too long all-ready: Farewell.
James Stuart, Second & Seaventh. ANAGRAM. Just Man on Earth, used Sea, &c.
THE Labour's lost, mangle not this Sacred name,
For every Letter here's an Anagram.
The justest Man on Earth, him Heav'ns allow,
Justice requires that we to's Scepter bow.
Such happiness (be thankful) prov's we are
'Pointed by God, for his peculiar care.
He used Sea, there vigorously maintain'd
Our Interest, and his own Glory gain'd.
How cou'd he fail, when such Auspicious Gales
(Ev'n Angel-breath) breez'd on his prosp'rous Sails?
The Bulwark of his Country, King and Laws:
Nothing cou'd match his Courage, but his Cause.
By Prudent Conduct, Valour, Wise Command,
Vanquish't our Foes at Sea, our Hearts at Land,
They Trembling sink; while we Triumphing stand.
They yield their Weapons, and we give our Hearts;
All stoop to him, subdu'd by diff'rent Arts.
Why not submit? Sure no Objection, where
There's Lawful Conqueror, and Rightful Heir.
Sir, prostrate at your Princely Feet we lay
Our Lives, our Fortunes, our et caetera.
A Dialogue, &c. Upon the HIGH-WAY.
OCCASION'D By two Great Solemnities at New-castle upon Tine; The former February the 11th. 1684/5. At the Proclaiming of our Dread Soveraign King James the Second and Seventh: And the latter February the 13th. next after, at the bringing in of the New CHARTER.
Tenant.
SIR,
I Was at New-Castle, where I trow ye ha' been,
I saw
such.
syke a Sight there, as ne'er yet was seen;I thought they'd been Crowning a King or a Queen:
Knights, Gallants, and Ladys, a hugious great Number,
Bells rang, Minstrills play'd, and Cannons did Thunder,
But what was the meaning I canno' but wonder.
[Page 2]Pikes, Muskets, and Drums, and
many.
mony gay Fellows,The King's Health was Drunk at
ev'ry.
ilk' Tavern and Ale-house;Instead of fair Water their Fountains sprang Clarret,
Good.
Geud Fellows came in, and amang 'm did share it.They ranted the Day out, and when the Night came,
I thought the
whole.
hail Town had been Bonefires.
all in a Flame.Land-lord, Hold, hold my Good-Neighbour, let me know what you say?
I'll tell ye the meaning as well as I may;
What—? Thund'ring of Cannons, there was no such thing,
'Twas the
New-castle is the chief Town in those parts.
Cock of the North was Clapping his Wing.Ten.
But
one.
ya thing I minded, resolve me this case,Two
Twa Passions appeared in ev'ry
ilka Mans Face?The
conside.
ta side seem'd Merry, the t'other-side Mourn'd,And Sorrow to
Gladness.
Blythness was instantly turn'd.Land.
Alass now ye pinch me! there is no denying,
Great Caesar our Monarch was lying a dying,
But when he exspir'd and his Soul fled to Heav'n;
Instead of himself his Second was giv'n.
Now Sorrow! now Joy! nothing better cou'd do it.
Ten.
But then
Charter.
twa days after, again they fell to it;Their
Wofulness.
[...]waedeum seem'd vanish't; less sign left of Grief;How came that about?
Land.
I'll tell thee in brief.
The day breaks agen, our Horizon is clear'd,
The Sun in the South soon after appear'd:
Observe when bright Phaebus at first takes his Rise,
He seems not so Glorious to faint mortal Eyes,
Some Clouds may surround him, the Morning is chill,
But upward advancing, Carreering it still;
The higher he mounts it, the warmer the day.
Ten.
I's
I'm somewhat Book-learn'd.
sunckat beuk-learn'd, and I guess what you say.Land.
Then a full noon of Joy, possest ev'ry Heart,
Old and Young, High and Low there Acted a part.
Every Bigg-belly'd Wife eas'd her Apron-String,
May this prove a Souldier to sight for our King:
[Page 3]Ev'ry Girl of Fourteen wisht her self a Bride,
For that,
Ten.
And another
good.
geud reason beside.Land.
It was full Sea and a high Spring Tide, just when the King was Proclaimed here.
Seas roar, Rivers swell, expressing their Joy,Th' harmonious Spheres sound Vive le Roy.
Ten.
What was't they fetcht in with sike Pomp and Pride?
Land.
Their Charter, their Rule, their Light, and their Guide.
Ten.
They're mighty proundon't.
Land.
So well may they, since,
It's great Honour to merit that Grace from their Prince.
Ten.
Had I but kenn'd
all.
aw, when I was in the Town,I'ad spent t'other Groat on the brisk-berry-brown;
And when I've tell'd this to my
poor.
peur Wife old.
awld Megg,She'll noddle her Head tho' she
cannot.
canno' lift Leg.But well away Landlord! the days we ha'seen,
Had it
always gone so.
aylways gane sae, we happy had been!Land.
When Rebel-Phanaticks like Lions did roar,
They mauld brave Newcastle, and many Towns more,
Ten.
And
all.
aw that was Loyal they to the Ground bore.Land.
Like stupid dull Geese, they sat rotten Eggs,
Ten.
And settling Religion, they jumbl'd it to Dregs.
Land.
They cry'd up Religion, like Tygers they fought for't,
Ten.
But ne'er
found.
faund it out 'till our Coffers were sought for't.Land.
Tubs were made Pulpits.
Ten.
And Kirks turn'd to Stables.
Land.
Cant pass'd for Gospel.
Ten.
Religion for Fables.
Land.
They vaunted both Babel, and Dagon shou'd fall.
Ten.
But the Rubbish smoor'd King, Laws, Bishops and all.
Land.
Sacriledge, Treason, Blood, Plunder, and Rape.
Ten.
In truth it was well if our Wives did escape.
Land.
Pretending our Freedom, they noos'd us in slav'ry.
Ten.
Made
holy.
haly pretences a Cloak for their Knav'ry.Land.
Our nak'd Breasts exposed to Bullets and Steel.
Ten.
By the Faith o' my Body I kenn that
full-well.
fow-weel.Land.
Estates were sequest'red, and not a Groat left us.
Ten.
Of our
Goods,
and our Gear, and geud-names they bereft us.When I
call to mind
unbethink me of those
thea frights and fearsThis
poor old gray Beard hangs.
peur auld Gray-beard hings dreeping wi' Tears.I've gane to the Market, I've bought Beef and Mutton,
I've said to my Wife—Dame hing us the Pot on,
Here's Wheat-meal and Sewet, we'll have a Poak-Puddin,
Put a handfulneef fow of Prunes in't, and make it a geud ane;
These
Thea Traitors have come, (I speak nathing but truth)And not left me oneya bite on't to put in my Mouth.
I've tew'd this peur Carcass, bothbaith weary and lame,
And Then gone to Bed with an empty Belly.syne gane to Bed with a tewm hungry wame.
I cannot but
weep
greet Sir, this sad tale to tell,But
more
mair for my Wife, and my Bairns, nor my self;
sel';Who have looked carnestly.
Wha've glowr'd in my Face, and cry'd what mustmun we eat?When my Tears was their drink, and my Groans was their meat.
Land.
But when God of his Mercy restor'd us our Prince,
What plenty of good things have we had e'er since!
What Subject of his had cause to complain?
Ten.
And what the Lord sent us was allways our
own
aine.May-chance now and then a Sax-penny Sess,
My Pot neither boyl'd, nor my Spit jogg'd the less;
I paid you my Rent, I keep't up my Credit;
I've lent my Friend five Mark, and
more
mair when I had it;I pity'd the Trav'ller that came to my
Door,
Deur,I had
allways
ayllways a Morsell, to give to the Poor.
Peur.Land.
We all liv'd in Peace with Blessings ten Thousand,
But our Blessing was
Plotting against so good a Prince.
curst, when we made the wrong use on't;Ten.
We were serv'd in our kind, for our
selves
sel's was the cause.Land.
Great Charles! most renown'd may thy Memory be, on't.
Thou found'st us all Slaves, but thou'st left us all Free,
[Page 5]We know thou'rt immortal, thou canst not be dead;
Thou'st but finisht thy days-work, and so gone to Bed.
Ten.
Whisht Landlord.
Land.
Speak Tears.
Ten.
There's nae mair to be said.
But Sir, I've oft heard our
The Clergy of the Church of England were ever Loyal.
geud Minister say,Jack-Presbyter fain wou'd be at his oldauld play.
Is the fo'ke
all run mad,
aw gane fond, to play such
syke a trick on't?if they knew but what we know.
Gin they wist but what we wote, I trow they'd grow sick on't.How
go
gang they about us! the like was nev'r seen!What—? cheat us twice fairly before our awn
Eyes?
Een?Can the
foolish Clowns
silly daft Carles think we'll still be Fools?Land.
When they fall a working they want not their Tools;
By Clubs, and Cabals, and by open attempting,
By spreading false News, and by Conventicle-Canting.
Ten.
To cover their Knav'ry, they'll play at Bo-peep,
About the Bush (Tony,) or at Hide and go seek;
Sometimes they'll play fairly, and whiles they'll play Booty,
But gi' me him that's faithful because it's his Duty,
He'll work his
work
wark fairly, without Knavish drift;That Blade for my Money,Siller, he's fast in the heft.
When Death becomes Plaintiff, and Traitor Defendant,
Then 'spye well about ye, and mark but the end on't,
He may chance to drop off, as other Men do;
But rather knit up like a Bird in a bought;
Let it go as it will,
Gang that as it likes, his Memory's curst,And
somewhat
sunckat comes after, I trow that's the worst.Land.
Let's visit the Shrines of thrice Noble Montrose,
Pious Laud, Brave Lord Capel, and many of those,
Smell their Loyal-dust, and its fragrant Scent,
Makes the Spice of Arabia insipid and faint:
Perhaps Men may say, Here — such an one lyes,
But if he was Loyal, they'll ne'er say he dyes?
True, Rebels and Traytors will nev'r be forgotten,
Tho their Mem'ry stinks worse then their Flesh whilst a-rotting.
Ten.
Shou'd I put my kind to discredit and shame,
They'll cast up to my Bairns, when I'm dead and
gone,
gane,Your Grandsir was hangit for being a Traytor;
God
Blefs us and heep us from any such
safe us, and sain us fra ony sike matter.Land.
The greatest of Beauty's by God ever giv'n,
Was Order on Earth, and Order in Heav'n:
By Pride and Disorder great Lucifer fell,
Yet he cannot rule without Order in Hell.
Ten.
Devils allow Beelzebub to be their Prince, but Whigs disown all Superiours.
Then wha deny's Order is warse nor his sel'.Land.
If then without order no Kingdom can stand,
That must be the best which the powerful hand
Of God, in his Wisdom, has for us appointed.
Ten.
They're
infortunate or bewitch't
unsoncy that meddles
mells with th' Almighty's Annointed.Land.
I've read several Hist'rys, sacred and profane,
I've rang'd foreign Countrys with labour and pain,
And I allways observ'd the People more blest,
And richer, and stronger, and far less opprest
By the worst of their Kings, than the best of Usurpers.
Ten.
My MaledictionMalison light upon Government truckers.
Land.
This truth (I believe) is by all men confest.
Ten.
What geud-luck ha' we then gets allways the best.
Land.
But now our way parts, and there's no Host-house,
To drink the King's Health in a Loyal Carouse.
Ten.
Had we but a Gallon of humming-Corn-Drink,
I need no' to tell ye, ye
know
knaw what I think;Intruth my dear Land-lord, I'se vext to the
Blood
Bleud.Land.
We'll sing his good Health then.
Ten.
And that's e'en as geud.
Land.
To the Tune of Hey Boys up go we.
I.
Now who dare say brave Charles is gone,
Brave Charles is still the same;
Brave Charles sits safe on Charles's Throne,
And only chang'd his Name.
We English-men, how happy then,
Look here for Monarchy;
Our King nev'r dyes, nor from us flyes,
And hey-boys up stand we.
II.
Hold off—touch not our Angel-Queen,
Flat Muse fly not so high,
The Quintessence of all the Fruits,
Of fertile Italy.
Comparison's not worth a Doit,
Here's matchless Majesty,
Both he and she in Honi Soit, &c.
Still higher up go we.
III.
Repent and turn mis-guided Whigs,
Your Projects will not do;
Both Heav'n and Earth maintains the fight,
Against your Cause, and you:
We'll not refuse your Friendship still,
If you your faults will see;
Join hand in hand, let James command,
And none so high as we.
Ten.
Weell sung honest Land-lord, but yet let me tell,
It's pity nane shou'd have
such
sike sport but your sel'.Will ye let me sing mine as well as I can?
Land.
Ye're wellcome, begin, ye're a good Loyal Man.
Ten.
I.
And is great Charles our Sov'raign dead!
Now fates do what ye can!
The Christal drops bedew the Cheeks
Of
every
ilka Loyal Man.Stop
Floods
Fleuds of Tears, and flow no more,
na maire,Submit to Heav'ns decree;
We have a Plaister for our
sore,
sare,And still Boys sound are we.
II.
When Royal James to Scotland came,
Geud Lard, how
glad
blyth were we!We danc't, we drank his Health, and Sang,
With mirth and merry glee:
We flang our sel's down at his Feet,
Our
Necks
Craigs laid to his Knee,And ay the
lower
Laigher that we bow'd
jowk't,The higher up went we.
III.
You mighty Potentates abroad,
For
all
aw your brave Adventures,Ye are but 'Prentices at Trade,
And newly Sign'd Indentures;
Almost
Amaist by sax-score Royal Kings,We'll prove his Pedigree;
I've crack't the
World
Warld from
fra end to end,And
none so
nane sae high as we.Shou'd some hing lugg'd Whig sneak under
those
thea Dykes,He'll say to his
self
sel'—you's twa Tory Tykes;But I care not a Button how many can hear;
A Fig for aw Physick when a Man can piss clear.
Land.
We've sung the King's Health, we'll pray't if ye will.
Ten.
That's ev'ry way better, and better on still.
Land.
Then long live Great James, the Mirrour of Princes,
May his Reign ne'er be troubl'd with Whiggish Pretences,
May Plots and Conspiracys blast in the Bud,
And may we be happy in knowing our Good:
[Page 9]May no foreign Land make these Nations a By-word.
Ten.
Amen I pray God. Now Geud-night to ye Landlord.
Ha-a-aw Landlord hanck your
Horse
Naig a while,For I ha' ridden full lang twa mile,
Out of my
way
Gate, to overtake ye,(For while I'm quick I'll ne'er forsake ye)
I've spurr'd my Beast 'till he's gore
blood,
bleud,But I ha'
one
yane at hame as geud.Now this is it,
soon
seun as we partedAnother whimsey straight upstarted,
Geud faith my very Heart did burn,
And
long'd
lang'd to have the t'other turn,And crack a bit, o' this same Fashion.
Land.
In Durham on the Coronation.
Ten.
Sir keep your
appointment
tryst, and ye'll e'en win me.Land.
I will not fail, if life be in me.
The end of the first Dialogue.
A SECOND Dialogue, &c. At an Inn in Durham, April the 23. 1685.
BEING The Coronation-day of their most Sacred Majesties, King James the Second and Seventh, and his most Illustrious Queen Mary.
OCCASION'D By a most splendid Solemnity, that Day there.
Enters the Landlord to the Tenant At Eight a Clock at Night.
Tenant.
YE're wellcome Sir, now sit ye down,
For I have sought throughout this Town,
Indeed
Forseuth I've had a wearisome
tyresome chace,And fain wou'd I ha' seen your Face;
God's
B'essing
Bennison light on your Heart,We'll crack a bit
before
afore we part.Land.
I had some business to do,
Which made me take the start of you:
Draw in your Chair, sit down I say;
And tell me how you've spent this day?
Ten.
Nay
pardoume
hald a cast, I trow ye jear'd,Think ye that I'll be sae
ill-bred?
mislear'd?It is the order of our Land,
When Laird sits down, let Plew-men stand.
If
any
ony chance to see, he'll tell,Give Bumpkin inch he'll take an ell.
Land.
And if it were the same of us,
There wou'd not be so great abuse.
Some Landlords are such needless Wasters,
They make their Tenants oft their Masters;
When we're to do our Sov'raigns Pleasure,
We may expect their help at leasure:
Howev'r you shew your Breeding there,
Yet notwithstanding here's a Chair;
When you obey you're free from stripe,
Here—take my Box and sill your Pipe.
If any Gentlemen here come in,
And we Discourses shou'd begin,
Stand up 'till some bid you sit down,
And none will call you sawcy Clown.
There was brave Sights, I make no doubt
But ye were stirring still about,
What did ye hear? What was't ye saw?
Ten.
I'll ne'er be
able
yable to tell it all,
aw,I lik't what ever I did see,
Except a
willful
willfow deformity.Land.
Willful! Surely that's not fitting.
Ten.
As sure as we're at Table sitting.
Scotch Custome is (I pray'e observe)
A Rule fra
which
whilk we never swerve;If we ha' scant a Mark o'Gear,
We give our Bairns still
[Page 12]somewhat
sunckat learning
lear;And I my
self,
sel' poor
peur as you, see,Had some of that bestow'd on me.
Ovidius in his Metamorphos,
Has laid this thing
so
sae plain before us:Os homini sublime dedit.
(Ye wote he was
no Fool
nae Feul that said it)And next to that, Coelum tueri;
Now what needs aw this
Coll kep't.
feery fary?Shou'd I take pains to
crook my self.
creuk my sel',As
if I long'd to look
gin I lang'd to leuk like hell?The
well favour'd
well faur'd Ladys strangely stoops,And out behind they stick their Croops,
(From whence they came I canno' say,
But Durham-Ladies were not they:
Ev'ry of them beside her Marrow,
Walks e'en as straight as ev'r was Arrow.)
I
catch't sudden hold
Cleek't one
yane of them by the Arm,"And
inquir'd
speer'd if
gin back side were wi' bairn,"Here's
Dung-hill
Middin-midwife just at hand,"Deliver and you'l straighter stand:
She did nathing but laugh and flyre,
And cock't her tail twa Inches higher.
Land.
Defects of Nature may be mended;
But use right shape when God do's send it.
Well, how prov'd you upon the Road?
What past before ye went abroad?
Ten.
Up I got this Morning early,
I joggit on
slowly
hewly and fairly;And
always
ayle I whistled as I came,The King enjoys his awn again.
Came to this
dore
deur, lap off, and thenEnquir'd for
such
syke a Gentleman;My very Heart was at my Mouth,
When they said, he's not here in truth.
[Page 13]I gave my Beast to the young Man,
Wha fetch't us in this
Silver
Siller Cann:I end-ways to the Stable ran,
I saw your
Nag,
Naig, else I'm a Whelp,I took his
Flank, or Buttock
Leungyie sike a skelp,Cobby, quo'd I, if thou be therethair,
I's sure thy Maister is no' far;
And then I said to the young Man,
Set up my MareMier soonseun as ye can;
Rub her well down and give her hay,
I will no' leave this Town to day:
And if I find thee free fra Sloth,Sleuth,
I'll lay thee sax-pence in thy hand.luse.
The Geud-Wife us'd me Courteouslie,
I
bow'd
jowk't to her, she kneel'd
baik't to me;She set a
stool.
steul, and laid a Cushion,I drew my Box, and
took a s [...]ff,
teuk a Sneeshon;She fetcht
cold
cald Rost-beef, Bread and Cheese;Put to your hand, eat what yeplease,
If ye ha' Travel'd far to day,
Ye may fallfaw Hungry by the way.
She
spoke
spack like fo'ke o'th' English Nation,But I
must
mun tell't o'mine awn Fashion.I
ask't
speer'd what news in this geud Town?Quo' she, this day King James takes Crown.
Such-like
Sik'lyke will e'en our Gracious Queen:A blester Couple never was seen,
God grant them
long
lang in peace to Reign,The
longer
langer more is
mair's their Subjects gain:A Prince indeed was his dear Brother,
The Lord has granted
such
sike another;Were I a man, my very bleud,
I'de freely spend, to do them goud;
And we ha' chos'n at our Elections,
Four Loyal Men without exceptions.
[Page 14]And all the
Country
Keuntry round about,Are come to make a Loyal shout;
Stay but a while ye'll hear them do't.
Geud deed, thought I, if I be heer,
This
jolly wife
Carlin is a Cavalier.What will the Whigs, said I, think now?
For they
must
mun either break or bow.The Whigs, quo' she, are sae run down,
Not oneyane about, nor in this Town.
Said I, unless ye over-aw them,
Trust some as far as ye can throw them.
Nae hough-bands now for Godly helping?
And has Sweet-lips gi'en o're his yelping?
Blind Homer's Sences quite decay'd,
The
holy
haly Sisters all ov'r-lay'd?Quo she again, my Friend I feel,
Ye
inquire the way ye know
speer the Gate ye kenn right weel.Ye seem a Scotch-man by your Tongue,
Ha' ye liv'd in this Keuntry long?
I
love
leuve your Scotch-men in my Heart,'Cause with our King ye
took
teuk a part.Dame, I to her, I can assure 'em,
Ye did the same your
selv's
sel's at Deurham.Send in a
quart
Chappin of your Wine,I'll drink their Healths before I Dine.
It was in
jest
mowes that I did inquire
speer,But
since
sen ye are a Cavalier,I'll
whisper
rowne ye somewhat
sunck at in your ear.I knowken this County well eneugh,
take no notice
Miskenn I tell'd ye. Then she leugh.I knew this ere I hither came,
Or else I had no' steer'd fra hame.
I
Command'd
garr'd a Barber come to me,He
Trimm'd
Cow'd my Beard as you may see.I set my
self
sel' in seemly posture,For Decency is best ye know Sir;
[Page 15]Especially at this geud time,
When
every
ilka body will be fine.And
then
syne I drew this Crevat
Craigclaith out,She ty'd it fast my Neck about;
She sigh't a little bit, and said,
My Husband has been twelve Months dead.
And
inquired
speer'd, ha'ye a wife at hame.I
smiled,
smirk't, and then she blush't for shame.If ye be goingganging out o' dore,deur,
Take my Advice, she add's, be sure,
That your Purs-pocket be well button'd,
There will be Lowns, ye need no' doubt on't.
When ye are looking, or wondring.glowring at a Sign,
Or see them scamp'ring for the Wine:
Or in the Croud a little to linger,
Into your
Pocket
Poutch he'l popp his Finger:And when ye have met with the loss,
Ye may
go home
gang hame by weeping Cross.They'l tice you in at Cards to play,
And let you win a Deal or
two;
twa;But if they find that ye will bend,
Then harken to the hinder end:
We ha' nae
Whores
'Hewrs, that's our geud luck,Therefore your Flesh ye canno' truck,
But if ye
travel
gang to other places,And ye stand staring in their Faces,
one
Yane will draw up to you and say,Mine honest Country-man, good morrow, or good even,geud day,
I fancy ye're some Friend o' mine,
Will ye take a PintMutch-kin o' Wine?
Yet have a care of her, she's nought,
Tho your Gray-hairs may have Green thought.
Dame, I reply'd, how can ye tell?
I trow ye Judge me by your sel?
Tho I said sae, she did no' stown,
But
[Page 16]laugh'r,
leugh, and call'd me Waggish Body.
Limmen-lown.Put on your Gloves,Gleuves, here take your Staff,
Twill keep a ruffling Fellow off,
Gi me your Cloak and Cloak-bagKnap-sack too,
I'll lay them safely up for you.
If it were full o' burning Gold,
It shan't be hurt were it untold.
If ye have ought to buy or sell,
Advise with me, God speed you well.
Maistriss, quo'd I, ye are kind-hearted,
I thank ye for't; and sae we parted.
Land.
As I was walking in the Street,
Some old acquaintances I meet,
All brave and Loyal Gentlemen,
Who stoutly backt King Charles, ev'n when
His Rebel-Subjects War declar'd,
My self with them a Fortune shar'd,
At the Black-Horse a while did tarry,
And drunk some Healths to James and Mary.
At afternoon to th' Cross we came,
Where twice or thrice we did the same;
But after that appear'd no more,
For I'm grown old, my Bones are sore,
With riding hither, tho my heart,
As sound as ev'r in ev'ry part.
Ten.
An' please your Worship, I'll declare
What I saw publick e'ry where.
Nev'r
look
leuk for half there was so
sae much,But here and there I'll give a touch.
The Sherif sent the Gentry warning,
To meet him heer by time this Morning:
Accordingly the same they did.
And muster'd on the Bella's-head,
Down Elvat to the Market place,
With cheerfulness in
every
ilka Face.At sev'ral Taverns drunk a health,
There was nae grudging of their Wealth;
[Page 17]Nor did they stick to be at Charge,
Of Tory-Ribbons rich and large,
Whose various Colours glitt'ring shone,
Like Roses in the Morning Sun.
The Loyal Tradesmen present were,
To wait on Aldermen, and Mayor,
With Banners flying in the Air.
Trumpets and Drums, ay Bag-Pipes too,
With what ev'r else cou'd help their Shew.
Reports did Eccho from their Tongues
Supplying want of muckle Guns,
Fra Morn till Night the Bells ding-dongs.
The Mayor invites them to th'
Tol-Booth
Tow-beuth,Drunk-Healths huzzaing still, forseuth,
It cou'd not
hold
hald the ha'fe in truth:The
rest
laive stood waiting for the nameOf ev'ry Health—Huzza—the same.
And next was made a wellcome Motion,
Up to the Abbey in Devotion:
(For let Men frolick what they will,
The Fear of God's the best thing still.)
The like in Deurham ne'er was seen,
As they went o'er the Palace-green;
The Officers of the Train-Bands,
In Coats of richest Scarlet stands,
'Till ev'ry one in his degree,
Took
Teuk place and sae walkt orderly.Now having begg'd th' Almighty's Grace,
Back they return to th' Market-place,
In Splendour, and with stately Pace.
At twelve a Clock they went to dine,
With plenty of brave Cheer and Wine.
Tho Wine may keep the Puddins warm,
A little Meat Sir, do's nae harm:
[Page 18]It's dangerous for to carouse
With empty Tripes the hail day thus,
(Mortar and Stanes make
strongest
stranggest house.)The Trumpeters rich Livery'd towrs,
And there spent they some twa'r three hours.
Having tane featly of their fare,
To Kirk and heard the Ev'ning prayer.
That ended here began the game,
The Mayors muckle Bane-fire set on Flame.
Alas! alas! th' Association!
The Godly's Darling of the Nation,
The Master-piece of Tony's Politicks contriv'd for purpose holy;
And eke the
pretty
deft Exclusion-Bill,The Royal Lines Purgation-Pill;
The grounds of House of Common's still,
Condens't, prepar'd by Art and Skill:
In Fire-ship Sails, tells Tony news.
Of Deurham's churlish vile abuse!
The Black box fly's with flaming wings.
Cramm'd with a race of Cully-Kings!
Then to the
Mouth of the Fountain, which serves the Town
Pant, open'd the spout,Hey-dash, the Claret-wine sprang out,
It hiss't, and fizz'd, and flow'd amain,
As if Bacchus had breath'd a vein.
None
Nane offer'd Rudeness there, untillThe Gentry first had got their will,
Which was the same repeated still.
That
done
deun on Shoulders they did climb,With he o'er her, and she o'er him;
The Squibs and Crackers ev'ry where:
A Wag was there gave me my share;
For he
threw one
flang yane upon my britches,
breeks,(E'en shame enough be in his Cheeks)
And truly Sir it burnt my Leg,
And garr'd me feek like Hen with Egg.
[Page 19]The Mayor invites this gen'rous train,
All into the Tow-beuth again;
I need no' tell their deed, it's plain:
They out at Windows Sweet-meats throw,
Cov'ring the Streets like flaggs of Snow;
'Till by the Ears the Gatherers go.
They bid Drums beat, and Trumpets sound,
For we will take the tother round:
Some led, others follow'd the scent,
Up to the Castle Gates they went.
Hamper of Wine, with rich strong Beer,
Was drunk about the
Bonefire.
Bane-fire there;Nor fuell, nor strangg drink was spar'd,
For come wha will i'th' Colledge yard.
To Crown this great Solemnity,
Again they to the Tavern hye;
The tother Health and sae geud-night,
And that set some of them just right:
But pray you Sir, mistake not me,
For there was nae indecencie,
But men in syke a case as this,
Will strein a buckle.
Land.
No great miss.
Ten.
The Towns-mens Bane-fires towards the Even,
Burnt fra five hours, 'till lang past seaven;
And Healths they drunk
very heartily.
just helter-skelter,But nev'r a
Soul
Saul in mire did welter.Land.
Here ev'ry thing was order'd sit,
They like brave Hero's carry'd it.
Ten.
Ha' ye a mind to take your rest?
Land.
Nay not this hour; I think ye'ad best
Begin some Song, or pleasant Story.
Ten.
And I have baith Sir, ready for ye.
[...] THis Jennet is a Bonny Lass, This Jennet is my Deary, What then need I ligg by my sel', And Jennets bed sae near me? ╌
Land.
How—? hold your peace, what's this you say?
Sing me a Song fit for the Day.
Had you seen what I saw of late,
Ye wou'd not sing at that wild rate.
What—? can there be no Merriment,
But what proceeds from base Intent?
Is't not a shame that Christian Breath,
Shou'd to a scandal turn their Faith?
Ten.
This Wine's
almost
amaist got in my Head,I make mair hast nor meet geud-speed;
My Tongue is grown sae slip and slidder,
It glents and glyd's I knaw not whither;
It's no' the
Song
Sang that I intended,But pardon this, and I will mend it.
give
Gi'me but leave to wet my Whistle,And i'll sing you the Royal Thistle.
[...]
THe Thistle is the Healing Plant,
What then need I to fear me,
For my geud Health I nev'r can want,
The Thistle grows so near me:
It cures Convulsions (in the State)
It helps aw these are aguish,
And Raging Feavers it will 'bate,
Al—be—it they were Plaguish.
II.
Wha canno' leave the Thistle weel,
Are oddly gi'en to Folly,
Take thou of it and thou'll ne'er feel,
Disease of Melancholy:
Against the Rickets it is geud,
The Ligaments it looses,
And purify's corrupted Bleud;
Sae never spare thy doses.
III.
It helps the Hearing and the Sight,
Green Wounds, and the Vertigo,
'Twill keep thy
blooming
bleuming Beauty bright,If thou'lt but do as we do,
Against the Bitings of mad Dogs,
Strong Poyson, Worms and Vermin:
What then are they but silly Rogues,
That leuves no' what's nae harm in!
IV.
The Thistle branches out it's Leaves,
And nev'r keeps them togither,
To all it's Friends it shelter gives,
In time of Stormy Weather:
But Rebel if thou dar'st be seen,
(I hope we need no fear thee)
The prickl's will
prick out thine eyes.
jagg out thine een,The Thistle will sit near thee.
Land.
That's somewhat like, but yet my Friend,
I hope ye have not made an end,
What is your Story?
Ten.
'Pon my
oath,
yaith,It's Piper
Tapski's
Tony's Life and Death.Land.
Then let me hear't from end to end?
Ten.
With brev'ty Sir, I do intend.
First place I will describe his Person,
(It was an ugly ill shap't Whoreson!)
His Looks, his Gate, and all was odious,
As
many
mony shapes as e'er had Proteus;A restiff, Cross-grain'd teethy Ape,
A Devil sure in Monkeys shape.
Yet knew right well this wylie Elf,
That nane cou'd play like to his self.
When
Weddings
Brydals, or Horse-Races fell,Still piper Tony bears the Bell:
Of aw the pipers I did see,
This piper Tony wan the
degree.
gree.And yet by missing of his
Tune,
Spring,He had
almost
amaist undone
undeun the King;For right or
wrong
wrang he made he made no matter,
nae matter,So he cou'd fish in
troubl'd water.
Drumly-water.Land.
I prethee man how can that be?
It's wonderful and strange to me,
That he by missing of a Spring,
Cou'd e'er have hurt so great a King!
Ten.
Sir it is true, for I suppose,
He plays nae Tune where e'er he goes,
But Oliver lend me thy Nose.
[Page 23]Or sometimes having tane a fresh-cup,
He'll rumble you out, down drops the Bishop.
Had he hit right it wou'd ha' been,
The King enjoys his awn agen,
Land.
I must confess that was a bad-one,
But tell me what his Pipes were made on?
Ten.
Imprimis (for I'll gang by order)
The Chanter was an awld Recorder.
It's first Maister came fra the
West-Chester
West,Some thinks he play'd on it the best
Of
any
ony he on English Ground;They say his Marrow cann't be found;
who knows
Wha kenns a Pipe will sur'ly grant Sir,Most
Maist of the skill lies in the Chanter:His was of Willy Lenthals fashion,
Bor'd by the Wisdom of the Nation,
They try'd and try'd it o're again,
And still they
found
fand that it spoke
spack plain;But yet it was an
unknow'n
uncouth thing,It play'd for
any
ony but the King;Tho' trott to Tyburn e'en wha will,
It skreems a Huntsup with great skill.
Yet when the Doctor's case came on,
It did but wheezle in its tone.
He was a Rebel-pretended Reformer in Bohemia, who, having inflam'd his Country, and destroyed his Prince, his last Sickness (the Plague) took him; and to terrifie his Country, and encourage his Followers, he inloin'd them to flea off his Skin, and make a Drum of it. He was call'd the Monachomaxtix, from the great pleasure he took in killing Monks for his sport.
Zisca the famous Monachomaxtix,Wha in Bohemia play'd his Dog tricks,
When he march't off he gari'd his pelt,
Be made a Drum, dead heard, quick felt,
Our Pipes b'ing near to that same fashion,
For playing thorow-Reformation,
The Baggs were of that very Leather,
Whilk keep't Nol's
[Page 24]scalp
pow fra Wind and Weather.And lac't about, wi' skimmering-tinsel,
Wov'n by a Whiggish Common Council.
The Bellows were Bucchanan's Lungs,
The flaps were Baxter's, Welsh's Tongues.
The Reeds, Dissenters Throats and Weasands;
The Drones, the shanks of
Country Peasants:
Keuntry Peasants:The Blast was Rombals best Swan quill,
Flap't with an
old
ald Exclusion-Bill.The Wind-fald, and the Bellow's-Stockead,
Were pieces of a brok'-Black-Box-lid.
The Joints were turn'd to their degrees,
In Calvin's Reformation Trees.
A bunch was hung where
The Piper at a Wedding has always a piece of the Brides Garter ty'd about his pipes.
Ribbon glances,Of printed Votes, and Ordinances,
Ty'd on with—Thanks to these who sends us.
Now Saundy cry's to Kirshin—Hony!
What very prettywinsome Pipes has little Tony!
My Dow, quo-she, they're wond'rous bonny!
What Heav'nly Musick will be made!
Tony hears that and nods his Head:
Now we may dance o'er dyke and hedge,
But well-a-neer, at Bothwell Bridge,
They jobb'd a sharp whittle in behind,
And after that his Baggs skaild Wind.
An unexspected by blow, which,
Garr'd Tony scratch where't did not itch.
He stitch't them closely up again,
And on to Westminster they came,
There skreem'd, and raird beyond all ayme.
Land.
Why did they to that place resort?
Ten.
The Landlord was to hold a Court,
And there his Tenants were attending,
Sundry debates, preuving and fending:
And when their business is
done,
deun,They always gang to get a
Spoonful
Speunful [Page 25] of stout humming nappy Ale,And then the Piper will no' fail
To Jenk a Huntsup o're the plain;
'Till aw their jibblets jet again.
But yet, Sir, ye
must
mun understandAnother Card in Tony's hand.
A noble Lady there did live,
Named
Yeleap't Madam Prerogotive:Sprung from a Royal stock was she,
A Miracle of Courtesie;
And for her Equipage and Honour,
Some dainty Damsels waited on her.
Among
Amang the rest
laive was Propertie,A strapping Wench as
one
yane shall see;She came of honest Parentage,
And got to an indiff'rent age:
She was House-keeper to my
My Lady Prerogative.
Lady,And to speak truth was always ready,
To get fo'ke what they wou'd be at;
And bairns their Meat, and
such
syke as that.She was high in my Lady's Favour,
And large Allowances she gave her.
What ever was my Lady's fare,
Still Property
must
mann have her share;And if her head had tane an aiking,
My Lady's heart wou'd fall a quaking.
Had ye but seen't ye wou'd ha' sworn,
She had her of her Body born:
There's nathing there cou'd run a-reel,
If Maistriss Property were weel.
'Till in Conclusion it befell,
That Property
forgot
misken'd her self
sel';And needs wou'd be the better Woman.
Land.
Indeed my friend that's very common;
When Servants long time with us live,
They think they merit all we give.
[Page 26]It's true, some use old Servants worse
Than useless Dog, or out-worn Horse.
Again, when Servants learn to know
Their Business, then they sawey grow;
In either party ought to be
Discretion and Civility.
Ten.
At this my Lady was surpriz'd,
And Property she thus advis'd.
My dow (quo she) It's very strange,
That I should find in you this change!
My Business is quite neglected,
And nothing donenathing deun as I directed;
There is some Maggot in your pate,
That alters you sae muchmeikle of late,
If ye intend to pick a Quarrel
With me, be wise, or at your Peril;
Fall to your Duty as before,
You'll see I'll give the matter o'er;
And ye shall nev'r crave twice of me
The smallest Penny of your Wages.Fee.
But Property was in the huff,
And oft she wou'd go in a snuff:
She grew at last that nane cou'd guide her,
My Lady then was forc't to chidd her.
Into a private Room they draw,
And thus to her she laid the Law.
Have I brought thee up peremptorypaughty Quean,
Like Bird to pick out mine awn Eyes?Een?
Had'st thou in thee the least Common-Sense.Rumgumption,
Thou'd scorn aw sik'lyke Presumption.
By the whole Worldhail Waurld it will be thought,
Thou has been better fed nor taught.
Think'st thou I'm in necessity,
To turn thy bold impudent Jade.tauntrils-tail on me?
If sae it be, then look about ye,
And try gin I cann't live without ye.
[Page 27]I trow ye'll be the first will rue,
(I's Cox't if my Words preuve no' true:)
Experience will this unriddle;
Sae take a Spring of thine awn Fiddle.
How fain wou'd she had her reclaim'd,
But all Expedients were disdain'd:
For aw she cou'd do for her Life,
Was but against the stream to strive.
Tho Property had got this scooling,
She scorn'd a jot to leave her fooling,
But turn'd her foot, disdain'd to bow;
And in Derision wry'd her
Mouth.
Mow:When wanton
Horse or Mare.
Yaud has cast her Rider,And tane sike freeks that
none
nane can guide her,Under her Feet she gets her
Bridle or Halter.
Branks,And stark-horn-mad she ply's her Shanks:
Now down before, now up behind,
Now Nose, now Tail fly's in the Wind:
She Sneers and Whinny's — Whilly-Lilly,
(Fo'ke think's the De'il's possest o'th' Filly.)
At this same rate far'd Property,
As
soon
seun as she had tane the any manner of ill Condition.
gee.Land.
By what degrees ran she astray,
And banish't Vertue thus away?
For Nemo (as they say with us)
Repentè sit Turpissimus.
Ten.
She cuts her Prayers shorter and shorter,
(Perhaps she
thought
weent long ones
lang yanes wou'd hurt her,)And next (what ever shou'd betide)
She fairly lay'd them all aside.
Again, she wou'd ha' spent haill days,
In reading damn'd Lascivious Plays:
She
sung light songs,
sang light sangs, read leud Romances,At Night to Balls and wanton Dances.
She was allow'd an Honest Mirth,
Fit for her Fortune and her Birth;
[Page 28]But
seldom
seindle now ye can her see,Out of suspected Company.
Land.
Permitting lesser Crimes, tho with Remorse,
Will stain the Conscience, and make way for worse.
Ten.
Sir, after this there did
befall,
befaw,Another Chop,
was worst of all.
was warst of aw.Alas! alas! and well-aday!
It happ'nd on a Haly-day!
As Tony in the Fields was stalking,
And Property
went
gade out a-walking,As fine as ever hands cou'd make her,
He briskly by the Arm did take her,
And complementally affords
A pretty parcel of fair Words.
Sae, finding her a gamesome flirt,
The winking Thief gave her a jirt.
He led her back into the
Hall;
Haw,And there he play'd her Ʋp Tails (y) aw.
Now having popp't her Belly
full,
fow,And sill'd her wame up till her
Mouth,
mow,To chop her off by
hook or crook,
heuk or creuk,Was the next Care that Tony
took.
teuk.A
A bold insinuating Sharpen.
Swinger dwelt
won'd about the Court;A Lown of very ill report,
A
Fulsom Sloven
Keustran infamously famous,Knaw'n by the Name of Ignoramus.
About the Court he had an Office,
And Sal [...]ry for't that might him suffice.
All that cou'd not his Stomack stay,
But he with baith the hands
must
mun play.Give him a Greezing in the First,
He'll hang and save just as he list.
one
Yane Night he stole the Keys o'th' PrisonAnd set thee Thiev's out by the Dozen:
He cou'd ha' Counterfitted Seal,
Or forg'd a Deed extreamly weel;
[Page 29]Sir, lang time he had cast an Eye,
At
very pretty
winsom Maistriss Property,But she wou'd neither Hyte nor Rhee.
Now Tony found it not a hard ane,
Between
Amell them twa to drive a Bargan.Sly Tony now will try his Art,
(He
lov'd
leuv'd Mischief just in his Heart:)He had a
false Bone
faus-bane in his Cheek,And
knew
wist when, and when not to speak.To Ignoramus slimmy draws,
And wheadlingly thus op't his jaws.
Dear CousinKeusin (for they were o' kinn)
Faint-heart did nev'r fair Lady winn,
To Property ye were pretender,
I marvel muckle ye ha' no' gain'd her.
A Man sosae smart in all your ways,
That the wholehaill Nation rings your Praise:
Perhaps her Modesty might hinder,
More
Mair tractable ye now may find her.Take Courage Man, again fallfaw to,
I ha' done sike a jobb for you,
So
Sae feelingly I did her handle,That on your Knee ye may her dandle.
Quod Ignoramus—Keusin Tony,
If thou'lt but help me to my Honey,
If ev'r thine errand ligg i'th' Court,
Rely on Ignoramus for't.
For thee I'll venture Life, and all
My Wealth, what e'er come of my Soul.Saul.
Quo Tony then make haste—away,
And
put on
donne thy Haly-day-Array,There may be danger in delay.
The Cull at this, sae nimble grew,
One
Yane wist not whether he ran or slew.He hy'd him up into her Chamber,
B'ing full assur'd to find her tamer;
[Page 30]There she was raking up and down,
In Night
Cloths,
Claiths, and her Morning-Gown.(For when young Lasses get sike Cues,
Whilk garrs them pewk, and change their hues,
For better Coll'ring o' the matter,
And
from
fra the Doctor hide their Water;They'll say their trouble is this, or that,
Worms, Tooth-aik, or I knaw not what.)
Quoth Ignoramus—now my sweet,
Here's my four Quarters at your Feet,
It's no' your PortionTogher I account,
Tho ye're no worsenae warse for having on't.
But it's your proper-Person-Body,
Turns Ignoramus to a Noddy.
Alack! when I was in my Fits,
I rav'd like oneyane out of his Wits:
The Rageous Pangs that I ha' tane,
Wou'd e'en have burst'n a Heart o' Stone!Stane!
Sae take some pitty on your love;leuve,
And do not still sae Arse-ward provepreuve.
Now Property began to ponder,
How slyly Tony brought her under,
She
understood
understeud her Market marr'd,And of a higher Match debarr'd.
She did not as she
used
wont before,Hector and
scold
scald him out o' Dore;But soberly forbore her flyting,
And e'en became the kindest Kyting,
The packest thing and the best will'd,
The gentlest Bird that ever Bill'd.
When he perceiv'd that he shou'd carry'er,
He made what haste he cou'd to Marry'er.
O! how his Heart did
leap
lowp within,As seun as he the Field did win?
They pitch upon the
Marriage
Bridal-day,(It was no time for her to stay.)
Land.
What holder-forth was't did the Jobb?
Ten.
one
Yane that had often kiss't her Mouth.
smack't her gobb.The precious Salamanca-Doctor,
(Some will no' stick to say he k—t her)
And Tony mannaged the Sport,
Just in the face o'th' open Court.
By gazing on Bridegroom and Bride,
Court business was laid aside.
The Laird cou'd not abide th' affront,
Nor Tony wha was Causer on't;
For
still the more
ay the mair he was forbidd'n,He blasted stifflyer at this Wedding.
Hey-da! How fo'ke did jumble their Tripes,
When they danc't after Tony's Pipes!
Some gave him
small pieces of money.
placks, and some Babbees,Some greater, and some lesser Fees.
The Sisters skew'd their
Peticoats;
Wyly-coats;And
seldome
seindle gave him less nor Groats:Ay, when their heels grew
somewhat
sunckat nimble,A Bodkin, or a Siller-Thimble.
Auld Wives tripp't, aumbling o're the Stanes,
Tho they were nought but Skins and
Bones.
Banes.Some were sae keen upon the point,
They danc't their
Necks
Craigs quite out o' Joint.There was a sort of Stomach't younkers,
Wha sat them close upon their
fixt seats,
bonkers,Wi' Tory-Ribbons in their Bonnets,
And
always
ayle they skowld at Tony's Sonnets:They shak't their Snouts, and stamp't like Madd;
At last speak's out a Mettall'd Ladd:
I thought we'ad other tow to teeze,
Nor see this Lown-like Lordan squeene
His GreezyCreeshy-baggs, and Laugh, and Fleer,
And o'er the Comp'ny domineer,
As if he were a Noble Peer.
[Page 32]Our Maister will be out o' patience,
If we neglectmislippne his occasions.
He know'skens (for he is nae unwise one),
Which
Whilk side of's Bread his Butter ly's on,He pays us WagesFee, and finds us Clothing,Cleathing,
As honestly as anyony Breathing.
For Belly-Timber I will swear it,
(If aw the Warld were here to hear it)
There's Beef, and Mutton, Veal and Bacon,
Goose, Rabbit, Turky, Hen and Capon,
Sae Fat, sae Faire (thanks be to God)
makes
Garrs all our Grinders gang Wet-shod.Ye may sit down, and eat, and fill ye,
Till ye can make your Belly's stiff as a board.crack a Louse on Belly;
And cramm your BellysKytes wi' Meat and Drink,
Then safely tumble, and take a wink,
And sincesen we are thus kindly us'd,
Let not goodgeud Nature be abus'd.
Or if we shou'd (as others do)
To Horse-Race, Fair, or Annual Feasts in Country Towns where no Market is kep't.Hoppin go,
There play our casts amang the Whipsters,
Throw for the Hammer, leaplowp for Slippers,
And see the Maids Dance for the Ring,
Or any other pleasant thing;
Lying for the Whetstone, I'm told, has been practiz'd, but Farting for the Pigg is beyond the Memory of any Imet with; tho it's a Common-phrase in the North, to any that's well gifted that way; and probable there has been such a mad practice formerly.
Fart for the Pigg, lye for the Whet-stone,Or chuse what side to lay our betts on:
If we but carry't decently,
He nev'r says yance—Black's your Eye.
We ha' the Warld fast in a band,
And the bands end just in our hand.
Or gin we chance, through Humane Frailty,
To meet a Lass and give her Persuade one to't tho unwilling.Kelty,
And popp her fow, as in sike Cases,
Is us'd about your great Mens places;
Or if we to the Ale-house go,
And get a Pot i'th' Pate, or so
[Page 33]Or Bairns fall out at handy-dandy,
He e'en forgives as fast as can be.
Speak Truth, and nev'r belye your Lips,
Has not some here oft miss't their Whips?
I'm sure were he not tender-hearted,
Some of your Tails had soundly smarted.
And since that he treats us sae Nobly,
Let us be mindful of the Obligation,
which
whilk tye us unto him,And for mair of his leuve to wooe him.
For Clemency nonenane can out-vy'm,
Yet rowze not up a sleeping Lyon.
The De'il (God I beteach me to)
I think has gott'n a gripp o' you!
That can, and will no' live in Peace,
But follow out syke freaks as these.
Leuk but a bit beyond the Strand, or Brook,Beck,
And then I here will pawn my Neck,
No people in the World so happy in priviledges as our King's Subjects.
If ony of the Neigh'b'ring Lairds,Ev'r gave their Servants sike Rewards.
They dare no' call their Sauls their own.ain,
What mischief then garrs us Complain?
Here's sike a deal of Ribble-rabble,
Wi' Tony and his squeeking Babble,
As if the scalppow of stinking Ʋrchin
Were a sit nest to hatch a Church in.
Our time shou'd no' this way be spent;
Let's get our Maister in his Rent.
Tho' he has meikle use for Money,
We take no thought to get him ony.
Let us make up the Castle walls,waws,
And keep them right what e'er befalls;befaws;
If aw the rest were right repair'd,
I trow our Labour were well bestow'd.wair'd.
(For if his dwelling-house.place be weak and thin,
Some wyly Thieves may soonseun creep in:
[Page 34]They'll rob himreave his geuds if they can find 'em,
And trow ye they'll leave ours behind 'em?
Nev'r look for't.leuk for't, De'il a doubt they're in,
But they'll gogang on when they begin.
They'll make their awn what e'er they get,
There's nought but Fish comes in their Net.
Plaister, secure, and make allaw strang,
They'll serve him and his Followers lang;
If
Gin we slight him, our sel's we wrang.And what perteens no' to our share,
Let other Servants take in care.
There is a sort of useful Wherrys,
That do geud Service in our Ferrys:
Let them be rigg'd and rightly mann'd,
Then they'll he ready at Command,
To send to th' Market and fetch hame,
Provision b [...]thbaith for Back and Belly.Wame.
And gaudy Trinkats for our Wives,
(Else we will lead but Hellish lives
If of their Pride they want a Pin,
De'il be i'their Tongues if ev'r they blin.)
Do but observe yon' greedy Youths,
Wha eat the Meat out of our Mouths;
Those
Thea Glutt'nous Hoghen-Moghen Hounds,Steal aw the Fish out of our Ponds.
They're sneaking still about our Towns,
And oft attempt to Crack our Crowns.
Reprove
Repreuve them for't, and ev'ry.ilka Widgeon,Will vaunt—A through-reform'd Religion.
But if suchsyke priviledge can do,
They'll labber in our Swine-troughs too.
Prepare, and if they onceyance begin,
We'll soonseun souse up Van-Souterkin.
We'll learn them other ways to feed,
Nor lick the Butter off our Bread.
[Page 35]Yon One just rip for the Gallowshang-a bauk, yesterdayyest day at Morn
Swore Sham-plotaw the CattleNout was in the Corn,
They've pinded some, they have nae Straw,
If they bide long,lang, their Chafts will fall.faw.
I've sought the Field fra end to end,
There's nathing hurt that God did send:
An' truth were kenn'd, I think i' faith,
It is their awn will do the harm;skaith;
They're leuking where to find a 35th. of Q. Eliz. to be repeal'd.gapp.
And if they find it in they'll slapp.
With their crook'tcreuk't Horns they marr the Dyke,
Forseuth I did but put the Law in Execution;hound the Tyke.
Out came a drift of curst thraw'n Fellows,
(They're fit for nathing but the Gallows)
Had not some help't, there is nae doubt,
Loyal-Magistrates threatned
But there they'd beat out my Brains.dung my peur harns out.We serve not God by Brags and Ranting,
As if we met a Covenanting;
Or if there were nae King amang us,
Except his Majesty' Ignoramus.
What—? ha' we nathing to do here,
But Exclusionpipe fo'ke fra their lawfow geer?
Ye shou'd consider'd wha ye meddl'd.mell'd with,
Before syke Doctrine first was held-forth.
Be't knaw'n, he is no back-deur-Chick,
Nor will he be serv'd sike a Trick:
He crav's nae mair but what's his due,
By right of Dad, and Bully too.
They'll wonder what a de'il we ayle,
To sea'd our Lipps in other's kale:
Let us do what belongsperteens to us;
Our Maister weel can rule his House.
tear all to pieces,
Ryve aw to Raggs, and then ye kenn,When doors stand open, Dogs come into the house:ben:
This shall be scan'd before our Lords,Betters,
Or els my Carcass liggs in Fetters.
[Page 36]Remember manymony years by-gane,
When he that rul'd us Right was slain;
Respect to Quality was lost,
Tinkers, and Coblers rul'd the rost:
The Nobles were the Common's Cadgers,
The Gentry but the Soldiers Badgers;
And sae far'd we, fra ill to worse,
When Cart was set before the Horse.
Land.
How many brave and gallant Families,
Have been destroy'd by 'spousing Treacheries?
Their Children, and their Children's Children groan
Under that Load, their Rebel-Sires laid on.
Their Coats of Arms defac'd in publick view,
Their Progeny rank'd with the servile Crew.
Should I take Measures from that dire Success,
Mine Off Spring and their Heirs wou'd bear no less.
The blessed Jesus gave his own Example,
(Which none of us ought under foot to trample)
He pay'd a Tribute to Usurping Prince,
Not as his due;) for how could that be, since
Himself was Lord of all,) but that we might
Be taught to give both God, and Caesar Right?
His Poverty allow'd him not the Coin,
Therefore he did with blessed Peter join:
Go fish the Summ, that all the World may see
The Pattern of it's God's Humility.
Here's no Contingency, for what I do,
I'll re-inforce by Miracle to you.
"Shall Jesus, Powerful Jesus work in vain,
"To guide our Steps, and wretched we disdain
"To follow him? O wonder! wonder! since
"Our Soveraign's Claim is no unjust Pretence.
Ten.
Sir I's but weak when rightly reckon'd,
Your geud Discourse I canno' second;
But there is manny' a worthy Man,
In Scotland bred, wha right well can:
[Page 37]Therefore I' ad best keep mine awn road,
Land.
Do so, go on i'th' name of God.
Ten.
A dancer says, fra' amang the rest,
This Land of ours is sare opprest,
Our Grievances shall be redrest.
What are
these
thea Grievances? let's see?Alas! alas! and
woe's me!
wae's is me!Peur Nob's condemn'd to Gallow-Tree.
What was the reason? speak wha can?
He was a witty wary Man.
Cou'd Whiggs got sike a
spoak
spaik in wheel,Their Cause had not sae
soon
seun tane reel.Whig Writers are (gi' them their due)
As scant of Wit, as Grace, I trow.
Let no Man call me lying Fellow,
'Till he reads Sh— Tegue-Devillo;
He calls it Witch, for Witch we had it,
E'en
such
sike a Witch as he that made it.Land.
Had I of Plays ten Thousand to rehearse,
If all were his, they nev'r cou'd make a Farce.
Ten.
But mair nor that, his Lordship itches
To banish Papish Dogs and Bitches:
He has geud reason to take heed,
For spoiling true protesting-Breed.
And further still I can assure ye,
Chitt-Pus canno' escape his fury.
Shou'd Pop'ry worm into his Mice,
He'll find that but a blind Device.
Land.
Some desp'rate Men, who know not how to live,
Or base-born-Slaves cannot so much deceive;
But for the upper-rank to stake to nought,
That mighty All their Ancestors have bought,
With Blood and Wounds, and puissant Service done,
Must be miraculous to ev'ry one!
Let's now forbear, we are not throng,
We may be dry, we've talk't so long.
[Page 38]Here Boy—a Bottle more of Claret.
The tother Health, our Brains will bear it,
God bless the King, and Queen.
Ten.
Amen.
Land.
Drink off your Glass, and to't agen.
Ten.
Now this has chop't me by my Text,
Ho—now I think on't—this is next.
There was a Sett of Dancers came,
But few of them I right can Name.
First Perkin, O! he dances trimly,
And turn's on heel, and
tiptoes
tiptaes nimbly!He is, (as mony fo'ke believes)
An able Fellow of his
Hands,
Neev's,In sundry places had he been,
And cruel Bickerings had he seen,
Still he his sel' sae weell hehav'd,
You'd sworn God-Mars was newly shav'd.
Both
Baith Man, and Lad at the same instant;But Fortune, well-away's unconstant,
He kep't his sel' sae marv'llous busie,
Until his Head grew reeling dizzie;
At last he catch't a heavy
fall,
faw,And there lay he for geud and
all.
aw.Yet notwithstanding this Confusion,
Turn'd Hoghen-Moghen in Conclusion:
If nought will serve but Belgick-bouts,
Beleuv'd, take up your King of Clouts.
Sir
2d Dancer
ne'er-do-well, Squire Brazen-Face,Mufty, Maist-John scant of Gods Grace,
A squeeking Treble, yet nought but Base.
A Teckley for the Christians loss,
And bears the Crestent for the Cross:
Buggery, &c.
Hic-haec-Conjunx, Jack of Leyden,Brother Loose-down, Sister Slyding,
In plenty
poor,
peur, but rich in want;A voucher of the Covenant.
[Page 39]Girdl'd, and Sworded, flail'd new Fashion,
Saviour, Damner of the Nation,
Jesuit, and Priest Canonical,
A Heathen, Christian, Devil and all.
These are his Names, and I'll be sworn,
Nae Spaniard has
so many
sae mony worn.He capers high as Royal Gallery,
And next steps back into the Pillory.
He had mae
Ears
lugs when time befellOf other fo'k's, nor tongue can tell;
But now he scarce has
one
yane his sel'.Latin he speaks at
ev'ry
ilka Sentence,Don John's familiar Acquaintance,
He knew his dark Complexion well,
Yet made him fair by Art and Skill:
Tho' he and others of that Breed,
Made Stafford shorter by the Head,
His Wit's now of that pregnant strength,
It spins Don-John sax-feet of length.
The Cause's Trumpeters and Fiddlers,
Officious Coxcombs and State-Jugglers,
The Aarons, and Spiritual Higglers,
Parliament and Petition sticklers,
The Maid of Hatfield and the Wheadlers,
Care, Curtis, and the Elephant,
Danc't till their very: Hearts did pant.
The
Eves-droppers,
Lythning-Listners, with their leering,Nor Fish, nor Flesh, nor geud Red-Herring,
They caper'd not, but
smoothly
smeuthly jimm'd,Like some I knaw on, when they trimm'd.
The chiefest Art that Trimmers know,
Is twisting twa Strings for a Bow.
The Pamphleteering-Libelling-Train,
They stirr'd them till they stunk again.
Ye wou'd ha' burstne your Heart wi' laughing,
To've seen the gang sae full o'daffing.
Land.
Vex, vex me not with that vile spurious Tribe,
Which Satyrism it self can nev'r describe.
Or why should I this harmless Page bespatter,
With any Judas patriae Liberator?
Or what can Piety't self expect but Evil,
From Symon Magus Chaplain to the Devil?
There is no tracing thee, but to that Flame,
From whence thou and thy Damn'd Tap't Patron came?
Was there such Relish in thy Sov'raigns Blood,
To long for it, when Heav'n it self withstood?
To stately Charles the top of Royal Stem,
(Whose frontly Brow adorn'd the Diadem,
Whose Exequies in silent Breast will throb,
Tho his Successor periods the Sob)
New-Market.
A Fire on Earth did once great favour shew,But Fire in Hell will thee (false Priest) pursue,
Unless thou Modelize thy Life anew.
Thou put'st not off thy Treasons by Retail,
No, thou'rt a Trades-man only for Whole-sale:
Thy Bart'ring Mart can readily dispatch
The Royal Cargo,—off with stock and swatch.
Had but thy Native soil thine Equal bred,
Cleav'land's sharp Satyrs had been blunt indeed.
Rash muse! what ha'st thou done? his Equal's come,
Avant Curst Pedagogue, Curst in the Womb,
Curst all thy Life, and Cursed in thy Tomb.
But Curster still, and Curster than before,
Because there is no Curse for thee in store;
God, Angels, Men, and Devils can Curse no more
Than thou hast Curst thy self on Julian's score.
Did not the hideous forms of thy foul Brat,
(Foul as that Fiend, which prompting by thee sat,
Black as thy Sin, superlativ'ly ill,
Black as the Poyson of thy Ven'mous Quill:
Foul as that Soul was fair, which thou endeavour'd
(Oh! vain attempt!) to've made appear ill-favour'd.)
[Page 41]Did not, I say, that Lucifugeous face,
A baser Soul from thy base Body chace?
Did not thy Lines, when crawling forth they came,
Gnaw out the Intrails of their Vip'rous Dam?
No—Heav'n for Secret Cause lent thee some time,
Or to atone, or to enlarge thy Crime.
Sift Earth, Rake H [...]ll, search the Creation round,
With Angels eyes, tell me where can be found
Legions of Plagues, but in that Plaguy Race
Which can both Heav'n, and Earth and Hell out-face;
Were God, not God, he cou'd not grant them Grace.
Ten.
Here aw the Comp'ny went away,
And left it till another day.
Geud reason why, they durst not stay.
Sae having tane a little Breath,
Fell to it, Dagger out of Sheath.
Again speaks out a
Active,
Lyver-lad,A trusty Trojan, thus he said.
Oath of Allegiance.
Did we not pawn Body and Saul,Our Maister to defend and all
Comes after him, sae long aslang's we live?
And do ye think God will forgive?
If we run wilfully in Sin,
Judge ye what pickle we shall be in.
Ha' ye nae fear of God nor Man,
But work mischief e'en what ye can?
Turn out o' doordeur this stinking Jack-an-
apes; where he but set a packing,
You wou'd no' bob sae The Exclusion Bill was their Sunday's work, for the most part: The better day, the better deed.on the Sunday,
It's nae imployment for God's awn day.
Wou'd ever any Man or Woman,
Break the line of Succession.
Turn Free-hold into Enter-Common?Or slay the herds wha his Lambs keep?
The FoxTodd will worry aw the Sheep:
Or wry about the Neck o'th' Cock?
The Glead will get the Chicken-Flock.
[Page 42]Or break a gap in his ownawn fence?
When certain to his sad expence,
The Beasts will slip into his Corn,
His Neighbours will laugh him to scorn.
Many have had fair Pleas and lost 'em,
By fondly breaking of thier Custom.
'Twou'd vex a man to th' very Guts,
To sit seaven year, cracking deaf Nuts.
Act of Succession.
Mind what the Loyal Scotch-men say,If we dance on sae will not they.
Then will begin sike Broyls and Tuggs,
And cuffinglund'ring yane anothers Luggs,
Fy, out for shame it shou'd be spoken,
They'll curseban us when we're Dead and Rotten.
The WarldWarld will think us dev'lish Wanton,
Still hobbling after Piper Anthon.
Sir, here's a A Fellow all-most at his growth.Spaught that came fra Taunton.
After a Godly Grimace made,
He paus'd, and spit, and thus he said.
"I swear if Tony pipe not on,
"The Subject's Property is gone.
"Let's now lift up our Godly Paws,
"And mannage well the Geud Auld Cause:
"If Conscience be our hinderance,
"Our Anarchy will nev'r advance.
"Shou'd we be ty'd to fond Punctilio's,
"'Twere
worse
warse nor Papish Tormentilio's."Come Tony—Play—thou knaw'st my Jigg,
"I'll take my turn, and then a Figg
"For ony Cavalierish Pigg.
"There's Law, Religion, in thy Chanter,
"
More
Mair nor they knaw on, so I'll venture."Shall we make
Fools
Feuls of Hands and Feet,"And they sit Laughing in that Seat?
"Mumping and
looking as if they wou'd bite.
Mowing, making Faces,"Doing their outmost to disgrace us.
[Page 43]"Let them take warning, I'll take course,
"If they'll not dance they shall do worse.
"We'll flail them into better Manners,
"And sell their skins to Godly Tanners;
"Or if we stop them well wi' Straw,
"They'll
fright
fley the Tory's all away.
awaw."I guess they've heard what
No Po. Successor.
this days Vote is,"We'll
bang their Coats,
paik their Hides, let them take notice."They may expect, but find nae Quarters,
"We'll make their very Guts their Garters:
"They canno' say but I ha' warn'd 'em;
Yet still they parted and nae harm done.
Where
one
yane said—Tony—Gang thy way,There still was three cry'd—Let him stay:
And he for
all those
aw thea Brags and Cracks,Still rumbled on behind their Backs.
Unfortunate
Unsonsy once,
yance, unfortunate
unsonsy always
aye,We'll hear of this some-other day;
The Halter lang they canno' 'scape;
They'll hang themsel's gi' them but
Rope.
Raip.Land.
Come—drink to me—, do't—I'll ingage ye,
Begin—speak,—Christen't, I will pledge ye:
I'm not inclin'd to rant and tear,
But yet this day, we being here,
May take a Bumper jollily.
Ten.
God bless the Royal Family.
Lang-last the Court remeuv'd to Oxford,
Where there had like to ha'been knocks for't:
Another
loose Fellow.
Taistril with them came,And he play'd sweetly on the shaum,
Here's
ev'ry one
ilka yane better nor other,But
wonder
whaw—! how they hit on together;The Rabble-rowt sae whew'd and whirl'd,
When Pipe and Shaum togither skirl'd.
That Gentleman of high esteem,
(Indeed their Maister shou'd ha' been,
who
Wha did no' love
leuve to hear them skreem,)Wha was a geud-ane and a great-ane,
And by his stile the Laird of Britain.
Sir, he had warn'd them oft before,
But De'il a byte wou'd they give o'er.
Nor shame a Spring wou'd
those two
thea twa play,Except the clean contrary way.
He
took
teuk a Scepter
Sweeple up in's hand,
neef,Quoth he to Tony—"Squinting Thief,
"Have I sav'd thee thrice fra the Gallows,Widdy.
"To makegarr my folke run stark mad?Hiddy-giddy?
"I'll make (unless thou leave this Game,)
"Thy Back as break all thy Bones.supple as thy Wame.
"What disorderly noisehirdy girdy's this ye keep?
"I canno' get a wink o' sleep.
"'T has been the hail course of thy Life,
"To pipe thy Neighbours into strife;
"By haunting Coffee-house and Ale-house,
"Thou trains their Bairns up to the Gallows.
"Syke needless stirdirdom 'tween thy Pipes and thee,
"And ayllway's when they take the grow restiff,gee,
"Thou thinks to make a Feul o' me!
"Do'st thou not know I qou'd undone thee,
"And still put'st thou thy Pranks upon me?
"Gang on—in spight o' thy base mind,
"I'll preuve thy Maister, thou shalt find.
"Ingratfow Monster kenn thy sel';
"For thou'rt just like the Fiend of Hell;
"God made him great and he rebell'd,
"Sik-like my Geudness has thee swell'd:
"
Since
Sen I set thee to Chancellor
Seal my Letters,"Thou
always
aylways has disown [...]
miskenn'd thy Betters."Leave off, or else I tell thee plain,
"
beat out all thy Brains
I'll garr thy harns jaip again:"Nor is't for aw that I command it,
"It's but thy Duty—understand it.
He might as well talk't to a
Stone,
stane,For Tony e'en blew up again,
[Page 45]And blew as if 't had been his last,
And
strein'd himself,
pegh't, groan'd.
and grain'd at ilka blast.He frisks, he struts, and bobs about,
His Een was like to've poppled out.
Sir, then the Gentl'man whilk I spoke on,
Resolv'd his Pipes shou'd aw be broken.
He came upon him ere he wist,
(And as I guess he did no miss't)
As Tony Bag-pipe stiffly squeezes;
He smash't them in five hundred pieces.
Had ye seen what a
look he look't,
leuk he leuk't,And in what Dudgeon Tony teuk't,
Ye wou'd
almost
amaist ha' pitty'd him;His Maister sae out-witted him.
He gruntl'd lyke a Sow wi' Piggs,
Say's to his sel'—Now aw my Jiggs,
And Jigging-bobs are laid aside,
Their Lace, their Ribbons, and their Pride,
And aw the Wit in Tony's Noddle,
Will never make them worth a boddle.
And was not this a seresare mischance!
E'en just as they began to Dance,
To play me sike a surly Trick,
I nev'r saw like sen I was quiok.
I think indeed that I was Foolish,Daft,
When I fell to this Piper Craft.
But yet I had a gay Report,
In City, Country, and at Court.
Wi' muckle a-doe I got a pair
Of Pipes, alas my Heart is sare,
To see them Ligg in Splinters there!
A truer Pipe nev'r went wi' Wind,
And it was tun'd just to my mind;
Alas! I never did intend,
They shou'd ha' made this doleful end.
I'll never be able.yable, with aw my Care,
To purchase sike another pair.
[Page 46]Had they but danc't a little while,
I think I cou'd ha' drop't a wyle,
To have play'd some of them a sleep;
But aw my Cues I now may keep;
I canno' see them but I weep.
He try'd his Art by might and main,
But nev'r cou'd Tune them up again:
The Reeds a little while did sneevle,
Then
Syne Dron's, and aw ran to the Devil.The fright, the fury, and the shame,
Dispatch'd him off by Amsterdam.
Sir, will ye hear his Epitaph?
I fancy it may
make
garre ye laugh.Beneath this stane ly's Mankind's Wonder,
('Pray God its weight may keep him under.)
He was a Fowl of suchsike a Feather,
He nev'r cou'd fly but in foul Weather.
All, and all,
Top, Tail, and Main of ilka Faction,The a Child's Play-tool, turning always round in contrary Motions.Whirlygeeg of Humane Action.
A very dangerous twa-edg'd Tool,Teul,
His Wit made him bothbaith Knave and Fool.Feul:
A Cellar and a Ware-House baith,
To all wha Trade in publick Faith:
He brew'd, and tap'd, and squeez'd and ran,
At last, as fast as he began;
But dabbl'd still in sike stumm'd Liquor,
The De'il himsel' ne'er piss't a thicker.
The Noddy Knave of Common-weal,
He shuffl'd oft, but never cou'd deal.
He staik't his Craig, or ony thing,
And play'd at piquet with the King.
All Arts and Mysteries he try'd,
But nev'r wrought truly till he dy'd.
He's dead and gane, we need no fear,
As sure as he is lying here.
[Page 47]The Shaum a while escap't the fury,
By sleight of Ignoramus-Jury:
But after (as appeared plain)
They call'd him o'er the Coals again,
And to the best part of my kno'ledge,
Some ru'd the rade of Oxford-Colledge.
Wha
diggs a pit
howks a hole for ony other,His sel'
fall in
faw in, were he my Brother.Now Ignoramus
must
mun advance,Among the rest
Amang the laive to take his chance.What's said before, to's Charge was layd,
And other Clarty tricks he play'd.
It's true he had the common Vogue,
Yet upon Tryal found a Rogue;
For all his Lownry was discover'd,
And aw the Pleadings that he offer'd,
Were over-ruled by the Court;
And he adjudg'd to answer for't.
The Jury found it Billa-vera,
And Ketch had Orders t [...] prepare a
Place convenient for the feat;
And
knit.
kilt him up i'th' open Street.Land.
If Treason's painted Face appear'd not black,
Ingage not now for thou hast seen its Back.
Oft had they by Indulgences been cleans'd,
But yet their Godless Lives were never chang'd:
Their stubborn Necks unmanageable still,
Thô flexible to all but Charles his Will.
Had they not Grace to check their course in time?
No—All their Penance was repuated Crime.
By violent Force, and unretarded Pace,
Dart their black Malice 'gainst the Rays of Grace.
Ten.
When Property had
called to mind,
un-bethought her,To what a Market they had brought her,
She put on her consid'ring Cap,
Sadly bewailing her Mishap.
[Page 48]Her Courage now began to fail,
(She'd got the feek out of her Tail)
And all her soaring hopes were gane;
Thus to her sel' she made her
moan.
main.Alas! what was in my FoolishDaft Mind,
Thus to my sel' to preuve unkind?
When I was well, I could no guide me,
But let the striddling Piper ride me,
And then for cov'ring of my shame,
Was fain to yoak wi' syke a Ignoramusyane.
My PortionTougher geud is spent and gane.
There's nae hail tatter on my Back,
Nor am I Dame of ya peur plack.
Besides I'm famish't quite with hunger,
In truth
Forseuth I can indure nae langer.Oh—! Wae betide this galloping!
I've got my fill of wallopping!
I ha' na House to put my Head in!
But forc't to ligg upon the Dung-hill.Middin!
My Lady Prerogative's Women,
Prudence and Patience will deride me,And Justice she will nev'r abide me;
Charity'll punsh me out o' Dore,
(For Grace and I fell out before.)
Ay me! how orderly they trip,
Attending on her Madam Prerogative!Lady, ship!
And was not I a very wise one,
To gang and make my sel' a by-Song? or thing to be wondred at?by-zon?
Had I the Office that I had,
I'de nev'r again preuve ha'fe sae mad.
The Hen-wife, Groundless-Jealousie,
(Shame take her) she bewitched me.
Her
Crutches
Stilts she was not able to handle,But e'en as woak as she cou'd wandle:
Upon her Feet she cou'd no keep,
But there tumbl'd down and fell a sleep.
[Page 49]My
Prerogative
Lady then had just walk't out,Some ha'fe a mile or thereabout,
Her Bus'ness was for to have seen
A Neighbour's Wife, was lying in.
And with her she took Charity,
To Chat and bear her Company.
As
soon
seun as ev'r she did her spy,My Life, quo she, it's Property.
O dear! how nimbly they did stickle!
When they perceiv'd her in that pickle,
For she cou'd neither
go
gang nor stand;My Lady then lent her a Hand.
My Joe (quo she) I need no inquirespeer
What wind it was that blew you here;
It nev'r was better like to preuve,
Since you teuk on wi' your hang'd leuve.
Why came ye not to your auld Dame?
"Madam, quo she, I e'en thought shame.
"Wa's me that ever I was born,
"For I'se get baith the Skaith and Scorn.
No Property, I's nane of these;
Tho I can kenn my Friends fra faes.
Come Charity let's get her in,
To let her starve were deadly Sin.
Hing on the Pan, let Milk be boil'd;
Meat's no' for her, her Stomach's spoil'd.
Fetch me yon Cordial fra my Closet,
Put it to'er Head, and let her dose it.
So— give na mair, she'as got her part,
She's weak, 'twill take her by the Heart.
The Posset's right, here—take this Spoon,Speun,
Drink, sup it off,—when that is done;deun,
Ye may lye down and take a Nod,
And rest your sel' i'th' name o' God.
My Lady to the Ward-robe hy's,
Opens a Trunk, and there she spy's
[Page 50]A Milk-white Smock, of dainty Linnin,
(Indeed it was of her awn Spinning)
Quoifs, Gorgets, Heuds, Bands, Point Venee,
As curious wark as yane shall see.
Forseuth ye wou'd ha' thought it Sin,
To've put a foul Finger therein.
Upon a Pin hung a Silk Manty,
And
Petticoat
Wily-Coat (to make her Canty;)Sae right and fixt, nathing did lack,
They nev'r were thrice upon her Back.
Baith Hose and
Shoes,
Sheun, and Gleuv's she sought,Whilk for her proper wear were bought.
When aw thea things aside were laid,
My Lady rapp't—up came her Maid.
Prudence, quo she, take my advice,
First clear Propertyyou Lass of Scabs and Lice:
Then take that trimming whilk ligs there,
And graith her featly ev'ry where:
And let me never see her Face,
'Till she be in a handsomerdester case.
It's now five hours o'th' Afternoon,Afternoun,
And time I had my Vespers done.deun.
When it strikes sax, then Grace may come,
And lead her to the Chappel-Room.
My Lady's orders were obey'd,
And aw things deun just as she said.
As seun as ev'r she leuk't upon her,
She
lowly kneeling,
laighly baiking, made her Honour.My Lady then a smiling fell,
Now ye leuk sunckat like your sel'.
Your very feebleWankle Leggs canno' support ye,
Sae sit ye down, 'till I exhort ye.
"Madam, indeed it's your geud Nature,
"That blenks sae blythly on your Creature.
[Page 51]Tell what's become of thy sweet Baby?
"I thought it wou'd not please your Lady
"ship, it look't sae like its Dady;
"I have disown'd it quite for mine,
"And sent it o'er to Caroline;
"To shuffle in its Syre's Plantation,
"And mend the thorough-Reformation.
What course of Life will ye lead now?
"The very same best pleases you.
Troth, Property, for mine awn pairt,
I'll nev'r keep Mischief in my Heart.
Here,—take the Keys, and stay nae longer,langer,
Stir easily 'till ye grow stronger.stranger.
And tatling Bablers do not hear,
They'll buzze fond stories in your Ear.
The meanest Servant of my Train,
Shall nev'r ha' reason to Complain.
Sir, merrily she
went
gade away,And all was made up in dry Hay.
Land.
When Friendly Heav'n 's dispos'd to smile on Kings,
And Providential Blessings prune their Wings
To vist us—
Peace, Plenty's Mother thrusts into the Croud,
And peaceful Bays to Monarchs Brows allow'd;
Janus chain'd up, the fierce Bellona bow's,
And smooths the Furrows of her wrinkled Brows:
The Court, a Nursery of Piety;
The Bord'ring Nations stand amaz'd to see
That Bliss, and envy the Felicity.
But oh! the Frenzie of a pop'lar Rage,
It turns a Golden, to an Iron Age!
Stung with Rebellion, swell'd with Serpent's Pride,
The Healthful-feeding-Tree it lays aside;
And then no Fruit can please, but what's deny'd.
It toils for Sorrow, 'till its strength be spent,
And makes the very Sin a Punishment.
[Page 52]O'erwhelm'd at last, of all Assistance void,
Must Plunging sink, and sinking be destroy'd.
Too rash my Muse! what? no Deliverance?
Look up, despair not, see who does Advance.
Isaac is bound, and on the Altar laid,
The healing Angel speaks, the stroak is stay'd.
Ten.
Their Gracious Master after that,
Was far less troubled with their Prate:
Nae thanks to some for their geud Will,
But God's
above
abeun the Devil still.Sae lang as Earth was his abode,
He liv'd and dy'd i'th' fear o' God.
No doubt his Sins are all forgiv'n,
And his dear Saul's with God in Heav'n.
Land.
In Heav'n with God, 'tis sure, Muse sing the rest;
What can'st thou say—? fall short,—so have the best.
Epitaphium.
Nor ly's, nor dy's, but fly's the soaring Charles,
Whose Name's esteem'd above the richest Pearles.
Fly—? So he must, to the Divinity,
There's room to stretch his Soul,—Infinity
Is spacious, that will do't, and no less can,
To him who dy'd a Saint; liv'd more than Man.
Wou'dst thou know where this sacred Relict lyes?
Kneel,—kiss this Urn,—now dry thy dropping Eyes.
Ten.
Oh! Landlord ye ha' made me sory!
Land,
No doubt, yet I've a healing story,
I'll tell it as we home-ward ride.
Ten.
Geud Sir, I can no' langer bide.
I pray you tell it me just now?
Land.
I'll do't then to make straight with you.
[Page 53]Lay by your
Tobacco
Pipe, in silence sit you still,And Interrupt me not.
Ten.
No more
Nae mair I will.Land.
Coronation day.
This Morning early as I slumb'ring lay,Aurora handing in the welcome Day,
A Glorious Youth appear'd (me-thought) and said,
Come follow me, refuse that flatt'ring bed.
His ami'able Countenance my Lodgings grac't,
I rowz'd my self, and his safe Footsteps trac't.
When feeble I fell faint in Travelling,
He mounted me upon his Silver Wing.
He stream'd me to the New Jerusalem;
There gently, gently set me down by him.
The Splendour of that place surmounts my Tongue,
Melodiously was Elohim's Praises sung.
The Beaming Rays of that Celestial Sun,
Compell'd my yielding Eyes the Light to shun.
I am thine Angel-Guardian, he did say,
I'll shew thee what is done in Heav'n this day:
Come, list'n with Rev'rence, but no more presume;
Then o'er my Face he lay'd his downy Plume.
I heard the voice of dreadful Majesty,
But wonderful! it did not terrifie!
Majestick—Mildness—do not yet aspire,
Our God Jehovah's a consuming Fire.
Then Palpitation seiz'd my trembling heart,
My palsi'd hands did quake, and ev'ry part;
My shiv'ring Joints could not their burthens Bear.
At which, my tender Tutor, do not fear,
But be you humble, and be chearful here.
And thus th' Eternal Father to his Son,
And to his Holy Spirit, "We are One;
"Before time was, we were, when time began,
"'Mongst other Beings we created Man,
"And all things else, which can in place be seen;
"But now this day let us make King and Queen.
[Page 54]"I'll give them Wisdom, Wisdom to Create
"Affection, and call home alienate;
"My secret Counsels I'll to them unfold;
"Justice and Mercy shall their Throne uphold,
The Everlasting Truth gave his Consent,
Saying—"Eternal Father, my Content
"Has always been your blessed Will to do,
"And to Compleat them I'll contribute too.
"I'll give them true Obedience to our Law,
"Their Inclinations to our Precepts draw;
"My precious Blood shall not in vain be spilt,
"It's balming Vertues shall by them be felt:
"Their Burthen's heavy, I will make them strong;
"Alleviate the Cross they've carry'd long.
The enliv'ning Dove expans't his hov'ring Wing,
So he—"I will descend upon my King,
"And Queen.—
"I'll breeze a gentle Gale into their Mouths,
"They shall both practice, and defend my Truths.
"Two Cloven Tongues within their Lips I'll place;
"And them replenish with my seven-fold-Grace.
This is no task, O God, but ease to you,
For what cannot Omnipotency do?
Amen to all—Isaias did advance;
A Prophet fam'd for matchless Elegance:
He warbl'd out with towring Trumpet sound,
Take right his Theme—Here's only to be found,
The Object of all supernat'ral Bliss,
Who was from the beginning, who still is,
And shall be after mould'ring time is past,
Ev'n Alpha and Omega, first and last.
It was not for himself he did Create,
There can be no Addition to Compleat.
He gave us being that we might be Blest,
And banquetted at this nev'r ending feast;
[Page 55]And as his Power Divine has not dimension,
Our Virtues are not such but by Extension.
As happy Souls come fleeting to this place,
Our accidental Glory will increase.
Therefore let us Communicate our store,
The more we give, we still enjoy the more.
We'll send some tokens to Great Britains King,
And Queen, let's make a free-will Offering.
They all Consent and Allelujah Sing.
Receptacles those propines to receive,
Are brought, of whom I knew, thus each one gave.
The Virgin-Mother blest 'mong Women kind,
Made the first Offer suited to their mind.
"To them I'll give my rare Humility,
"Temper'd with Pow'r and lofty Majesty:
"They shall contest Heav'n's Pleasure to fulfil,
"Saying—Be't to your servants as ye will.
Three Hierarchys of Angels, Orders nine,
The Seraphims inflam'd with Love divine,
The Cherubims with Sciences repleat,
Refulgent Thrones are the Almighty's Seat.
The shining Virtues, Ruling Dominations,
The Powers exult, with joyful Acclamations,
The Principalitys their Tryumphs sing:
Arch-Angels always ready ministring,
The Angels still for Ambassy's prepar'd,
And all of them, their Gifts with freedom shar'd.
Saint Michael—"I will buckle to his side
"This brandish't Blade, which tam'd the Prince of Pride;
"And there shall none be able to Contend,
"With James and Mary, whom I will defend.
Saint Raphael—"I did take him by the Hand,
"Conducting him to that thrice happy Land,
"From whence the choicest Comforts of his Life,
"Rich-Virtue, Honour, Beauty in a Wife.
[Page 56]"Neither did I forsake them in Exile,
"(For so it was) but car'fully that while,
"I pointed out safe Footings in their way,
"I foil'd the wicked Sp'rit which sought to slay;
"And shade the Light of Britains beaming Day.
"Nor is mine Office out, I'll still take pains,
"Adjutor to their Angels Guardians.
Enoch—"They shall in Contemplation stay,
"And with their God walk hand in hand all day;
"Yea, when translated to this happy state,
"My self shall welcome them at Heav'ns gate.
Jacob—"Come rest your Heads upon my stone:
"Your Toil is past, your anxious Hours are gone.
"By the Seditious never shall be forgot,
"That God was in this Place, we knew it not.
Moses—"Here take my Meekness with my Rod,
"Dark Aegypt (where his People sought abode)
"Shall be contemn'd, here's Canaans Property,
Not Slaves to Rebells, free Men James to thee.
Joshua—"Let me add Conduct to their Arms,
"Whose Warlike Captains, with their Marshal Charms,
"Shall guide their Troops throughout their promis't Land,
"Nor Foreign, nor Home-Foes shall them withstand.
David—"Go on, chant out th' incessant praise
"Of your Redemption in Angelick Lays:
"My well-tun'd Harp, shall with your Hearts agree,
"Not two, but one continu'd Harmony.
Daniel—"Sharp Quickness to his Councils Eyes,
"They shall unriddle hidden Mysteries
"Of State; the Judges shall expound the Law,
"And all Dissenters to Allegiance draw.
Constant-Couragious-Proto-Martyr-Stephen,
—"My Blood for Jesus's sake was freely given,
"The Frantick Rout against me did conspire,
"The more they threw me down, I bounc't the higher:
[Page 57]"Did they not seek to stop this Royal Breath?
"And by the Rabble were ston'd to worse than Death.
"But strong-built Virtue cannot eas'ly fall,
"Their Patience, Conquering Patience Conquer'd all;
"They Patient droop't, now they to Glory rise;
"Their Prayer—O Lord forgive our Enemys.
Saint Paul—"The Sword shall not be giv'n in vain,
"But for their own, and all their Subjects gain;
"The haggard-Vassal shall obey his Prince,
"Not out of Slavish Fear, but Conscience.
Saints Ambrose, Jerome, painful Augustine,
With more, who did the Churches Light refine;
"—Their Cautious Prelats shall in Vnitie,
"Maintain the Cath'lick Faith; that Faith which we
"Undauntedly asserted ev'n to Wonder,
"Not tear the seamless Coat of Christ asunder.
"That Faith whereon the Factious take no hold,
"As but one Shepherd, so but one Sheepfold:
"Flat Sence, and flagging Reason sink beneath
"Stupendious Mist'rys of a Christian's Faith.
Saint George, "They've honor'd me, I'll honor them.
"Upon Saint George's-day Saint George will climb:
"Saint George for England—Now they well may say,
"Let's go to prayers, this is Saint George's-day.
Saint Andrew—"For their guard I'll rear my Cross,
"The Thistles goodness they shall all ingross:
"Red-Lion-Rampant from his den shall roar
"In their defence, as he as done oft before.
Saint Patrick—"With my Lyre I'll tame their Foes,
"The stoutest Rebel Thraso sha'n't oppose,
"Their spotless White shall nev'r sustain a Wrong
"From chatt'ring Magpye, nor invenom'd Tongue.
Last, weeping Rachel, with her Fountain Eyes,
Laid in an Handkerchief wherewith she dry's
Her blubb'ry Cheeks—"Give this to Widow-Queen,
"She shall have Joys for Sorrows she has seen.
[Page 58]Arch-Angel Gabriel b'ing Elect Envoy,
To ambass down Congrat'latory Joy,
Hoists up his Feather-Sails, and veers about;
Then in the Airy-Ocean lanches out.
Flight time's out done, ha'fe second is not o're,
E're this same Agile Spirit spoke before
Our Royal Pair—Some presents here I bring,
They're Heav'nly Presents, from a Heav'nly King,
And Heav'nly Subjects, to adorn your Throne,
They'll gild your names when rusty age is gone.
This subtile Essence wheels about, and flys,
His Pinnion-Oars divide the azure Skys,
And drowzie Somnus here unseal'd mine eyes.
I rowz'd, I rose, I drest, to Pray'rs withdrew;
Imploring Heav'n my Vision might prove true.
Ten.
I doubt it not
since
sen their ways please the Lord,Grace, Peace and Plenty he'l to them afford.
I dream'd a Dream a while ago,
But with it I'll not trouble you.
Land.
I prethee tell't, if't be no Hurt?
Ten.
The worst, Sir, is but harmless Sport.
One Night
Ya Night I went to Bed right late,A hundred Maggots in my Pate,
I dream'd at my Bed's side did stand,
A Jesuit; and in his Hand,
A Consecrated Gun (God bless me!)
He cou'd no' fix't, and sae he miss't me.
Then out drew he a Gully-knife.
With that he
parted
twinn'd me and my Life.instantly
Off hand I ran into the Town,Stark dead I rally'd up and down;
I
like a Calf
blair'd and how I'd like a Dog when he is hurt.
whindg'd lyke ony man,And down my Cheeks the salt Tears ran;
I shouted out—Oh—! Waes is me
I've lost my Head, dear Friends ye see.
[Page 59]I durst ha' wager'd a gray Groat,
The very Blade stack cross my Throat.
Albeit I found my fel' beguil'd,
Most
Maist o' the Towns-men just ran wild.Tho this was but Fantastick Wound,
There's not a few fell in a Swound.
Land.
You thought but so, it was their Quackery.
Ten.
De'il fetch't, was it but
Underhand-dealing.
Jewkry-pawkry?Land.
Gossip, I think you'l not deny,
Tony had finger in that Pye?
Ten.
Ay Sir, as sure as I'se alive,
For e'en as e'er I hope to thrive,
There's very few that ev'r
meddl'd
meddl'd with him;But first or last he did undo them.
I'll tell ye what a Trick he play'd me,
And fain wou'd
a nimble-Tongu'd Clawer.
Gobby here deceiv'd me;But, Sir, I got him at the Catch,
Tony has yance met with his Match.
I felt his Pulse, and Pocket too,
And then, Quod I, Tony adieu.
This Swindger at Saint Barthol's Fair,
Where aw the Nimmers do repair:
(And this was he, without suppose,
Or els 'twas Satan in his Cloaths.
Betwixt
Amell them twa was sike a League,For driving on a damn'd Intreague;
The t'one the t'other had sae haunted,
To knaw which, which, must be acquainted.)
He jogg'd me gently on the Elbow,
Come here geud Fellow, see what I'll do:
"You
look
leuk not like a Tory-Scot,"On you I will bestow a Pot;
He had a thing under his Coat,
Just like a Fiddle as I thought.
[Page 60]Quo—he, I've Travell'd far and near,
And this has wone me muckle geer;
He
whispers
rownds me softly in the Ear,Take my gend Counsel, do not fear.
My Bird, here is for to be seen,
What thou ne'er saw wi' thy two eyes.two een.
Dear honey-love,hinny-Leuve, ye little knaw,
But go, I understand the Law:
I'll draw a Compass and nae mair,
'Twixt it and Treason but a hair.
Tony, said I, ye chance may trip,
"Where were ye if your Thumb shou'd slip?
I fear not (crafty Tony adds)
Our doughty Ignoramus Ladds
Can play at Irish, their Back-game
Will save baith Tony, and his fame:
Damnation they will make their Lot,
E're Idol-Tony gang to th' Pot.
When that's deun I's nought in their debt,
My hazard makes an equal set.
But Leuvie, here's a Courteste,
Which out o' kindness I'll do thee:
The Torys now thou see'st are undone,
Next
Neist year thou shall be Mayor of London;Liberatores patriae.
Thy name Ingrav'n upon a Pillar,Here—see my Lad, and keep thy Siller.
He lay'd his Trinckums on the Table,
Whilk I'll describe as I am able:
But lest there shou'd be some mistack,
Here—Boy, bring me a bit o' Chalk.Cauck.
This kind of show I have seen in Holland, and in England at Fairs, &c.
I think it was near two
tw a Foot lang;Or there about, (I'll do nae wrang.)
This end was just twa inches o're,
And that was sax, and
little bit
bittock more.A piece of Cristal here put on,
The
[Page 61]biggness
muckledeum of ha'fe a Crown.He had a Frame of narrow Glass,
I judge three Foot of length it was.
With Pictures Painted here and there,
You'll see the use on't, what shou'd mair.
That far end wide, this near end strait
Did magnifie at a huge rate.
A twinkling light set at the back,
In little
Lanthorn
Bowet—Wyly quack.And there's the
right way of any thing.
geeg of his Jimcrack.He bids me set this Eye apart,
(Ha'fe sight is best for Jugler's Art)
And thus ask't I, sae he reply'd,
Tho I dare Swear he often ly'd.
What Worthy Men are hither sent?
"A true protesting Parliament,
(I'll shift it to another pin)
What's this? "It's Pop'ry coming in.
And wha is you Trav'lling fra home?
"Our Clergy Gallopping to Rome.
O! Wonderful! And what is there?
"French Navies Sailing in the Air.
And what's that in you darksome spot.
"Baith Queen and Duke in Papist Plot.
What then is this whilk end ways follow's?
"Black-bills and Pilgrims, haly Gully's.
Wha's you of Sundry ShapesMacks and Fashions?
"A Doctor saving thea three Nations.
What Siller's you to pay the Cost?
"Seaven hundred pound he Swears he lost.
This Raree-shew I prethee tell?
"
Sir E.B.G.
A dead Man riding by his sel'.What now—I vow I canno' guess?
"The Observator hearing Mass.
Again—I speer'd what I espy'd?
"Aw the hail Court be popify'd.
[Page 62]What garr's thea dol'fuldeulfow folke complain?
"My Bairn, their Property is gane,
"They hourly leuk they shou'd be slain.
What's this? "It's an Exclusion-Bill,
"Lest Monarchy shou'd happen ill.
What can this be which looks o oddly?whilk leuks sae oddly?
"Hey—geer enough for aw the Godly.
What's ligging in that little hole?
"The King's advantage by the Pole.
Wha's here telling him idle Storys?
"Nane—make him peur, and he'll be Glorious.
O wally Tony! what is that?
"A Black-Box cramm'd wi' God knows what.
What are thea Writings closely Seal'd up?
"The same were found in Celiers Meal-Tub.
What wonder's this, speak if ye please?
"It is the Meun made of Green-Cheese.
This is the last, What see I now?
"A Hundred men to Swear all's true.
He drank to me the t'other Cup,
And thus again he wheadl'd me up.
"And now, dear
Brother
Billy, this is right,"Sae do no' sit in your awn light.
"I knaw ye are a man of Reason,
"And this ye'll find the fittest Season;
"Strike in as if some Friend o' mine,
"Make up your Hay while Sun do's shine;
"And here's my Hand (what ev'r shall chance,)
"Ye shall no' miss my furtherance.
"This thing I wou'd not undertake,
"But only for my
Country's sake.
Keuntry's sake."For I had rather live at ease,
"With ha'se a
a thick Cake bak't before the Fire.
Bannock made of Pease,"Stinking Butter and Rotten Cheese,
"Ev'n Sl—by Be—ls dayly-mess.
[Page]"Cause up and down I
am not able
dow no' ride,"As I ha' done— Alas my side.
"You hear of this Damn'd Papish-Plot?
"Nae honest man can save his Throat!
"See what a pitch the Doctor's run to,
"What high Preferment he has come to!
"If things (we doubt 'em not) shou'd hit,
"Ere long ye'll see him higher yet.
"My Dow, rub up thy Memory,
"For thou knaws e'en as well as he.
"Be careful Birdy, cast about,
"Speak first, and I will help thee out.
"Ay—Right—think on't, and then begin,
"Thou'lt be a Credit to thy kin.
"Or if this time ye canno' stay,
"Come to my House some other day,
"I'll pay the
Reck'ning
Lawing—gang your way."But hark ye me, I shou'd ha' spoken
"Another thing I had forgotten;
"Tho I've but seldom seen that Face,
"Yet in thy very look there's Grace:
"This kindness I'll do you—In case
"Ye be ought Straitned in your Purse,
"And canno' get you Arms and Horse;
"Tell me your mind if ye be scant?
"Great pity sike as ye shou'd want.
"Or afterward I'll send my Man,
"To meet you at the Amsterdam;
"But whatsoever shou'd
befall
befaw,"Take this—for to be doing with
all.
aw."Here—set thine hand to this
A Narrative or a few Depositions only.
bit Writing,"And swear it is thine awn Inditing.
"And Sweety, if thou'lt but obey,
"Thou'lt reap the Fruit another day,
"When thy Friend Tony's
[Page 64]cloath'd
clad in Clay."We've English Evidence
enough,
enow,"And of the Irish not a few;
"Last Sunday we drew in a Jew,
"And fain wou'd had a Scotch-man too;
"But ne'er had that geud Luck till now.
Thought I, what 'vengeance can he mean,
The like of this was never seen!
Some Mischief surely he intends,
Of me he nev'r shall brook his ends;
(But yet the
Silver
Siller made some mends.)"As slyly as thy
false
faus Chafts waggs,"The De'il be in thy rotten Baggs,
"If ever Andro here ingage.
(When Foxes preach
take heed to
tent weel your Geese;The Lord send me to live in Peace.)
"My Banes oft broken for my King,
"And thou garr me in Hemp-string swing!
"Gang seek your
loose fellows
Callands with a shame,"For Andro he is nane of them.
God help't me out my sel' to save,
And freed me fra that
flattering
fleetching Knave.Sir, gin ye thought it but bestow'd,
A Sang o' yours were e'en worth
Gold.
Gowd.Land.
To the Tune of, Now, now the Fight's done, &c.
I
Now, now the Feat's done,
And the Great Machiavels,
Lye sculking in the dark;
And they chafe in their Cells:
When Loyalty laught,
They stretch't for the Cause,
Contriving, Sham-Plotting,
To Counter the Laws,
They rode on Rebellion;
And Royalty bang'd,
And their Pupils for Treason
On Gallow-Tree hang'd.
II.
Jack Presbyter smil'd,
Having fixed his Dart,
And wing'd it to 'hit
The Great Prince in the Heart:
Who calmly withdrew
At his Sov'raign's Command,
Whose Pleasure, full Measure,
He ne'er did gainstand;
Now his Foes are dispersed,
And fall'n in disgrace,
Our Passion recoil,
And give Reason it's place.
III.
Truth, Truth is the cry,
Truth and Justice go round,
Whilst Plotters, and Traitors,
Lye sprauling o'th' Ground.
Their Cabals are Confounded,
Their Evidence flinches,
And packing of Parliaments,
Throw'n off the Hindges:
They'll Rally no more,
For an Oliver Nose,
Nor Muster fresh Forces,
But flat in the Close.
Ten.
Well said Sir, I wou'd give a Cow,
Why I cou'd sing as well as you.
Land.
But hark ye Friend, one told to me
A while ago ye were at Sea.
[Page 66]I like not Plow-stilt Math'mat [...]e [...]ans,
Nor London Prentice Politicians;
Neither care I for Women-Preachers,
Nor Leather-Apron'd-Gospel-Teachers,
Nor any he that wears a Gown,
Who cants in Country, or in Town,
Sedition up, and Pop'ry down.
Let ev'ry Prudent man [...]arge,
What Office falls within his verge.
Ten.
I nev'r can tell ye that for shame,
For I am sure ye will me blame.
But what care I?
reproof
Repren [...] youI well may bear,
since
sen it's my due.Now let me see,—It is about
Seaven, or
eight
aught year sen that fell out.Upon our Voyage we were [...],
The Wind blew fair, to Sea we went.
Our Skipper wise, our Vessel sound,
And to West India's we were bound.
I learn't some Terms in that Transaction,
But fumbl'd basely when in Action:
Yet thought my self as skilful as
The wisest he on Ship-board was.
Say'd to the Steers-man—Friend, in case
Ye be ought tyr'd give me your place.
Quoth he, I think ye are [...],
Here,—take my room with aw my Heart.
Here's no particular person meant under this Character but the common People in general, who love to meddle where they have neither Judgment nor Business.
Nay then, thought I, there's muckle doubtCan I no' twirrle that stick about?
I had no' deun the Office lang,
But presently I set aw wrang.
When they cry'd Helm a lee, I swear
I wist nae mair nor my blind
Mare
Mier.All hands aloft, and ev'ry where,
The Maisters Mate Mad as March-hare,
For only shift that cou'd be found,
[...]ad like to've run the Ship a-ground.
[Page 67]When Horses in the Fields lye dying,
The Carrion
Crows
Craws about them flyingWill keep a
croaking,
craiking, and I've seen,Ere they've been dead, their very een
Pyk't out, and Dogs ha' snasht their Haunches,
Ay, sometimes riv'n out aw their Paunches.
Syklike there was a Rav'nous Tribe,
(The De'il has not their
equals
maiks beside)Stood
Steud on the Shoar to see us sink,And Fish-way in the Ocean drink.
Amang the
rest
laive I did espy,A Doctor of Divinity,
Or else he slants confoundedly.
But yet suppose he leuv'd to fib,
And some for that, his Luggs should
geld:
libb:Or teach him aumbling by the hand,
Till he his paces understand;
Or twine a widdy 'bout his
Neck,
Craig,To ken him for a straying Naig;
It's nae sike wide Comparison,
For Horse and Doctor, all is one.
Conjoin for better or for worse,
It's Doctor Oats makes Doctor Horse.
These Questions ne'er shall trouble me,
For now he'as tane his right Degree.
Or if he draw behind the Cart,
Let it be sae with aw my Heart;
If he draw right on any score,
It's mair nor ev'r he did before.
This Ship, quoth he, we understand,
Is fraught wi' Dean and Chapter Land,
Rich fat Livings, Bishops Mannors,
Pilgrims, Court and Kirk-Trepanners.
Black-Bills, and Irish, Tory Scots,
They're not a Hairs breadth fra our Throats.
[Page 68]My sel' has been Salamanca, if you'll trust him.in other Nations,
Where I ha' study'd Conjurations,
I'll drive a Storm, the Seas I'le trouble,
And they shall find their Danger double;
I'll force the Winds (for I ha' Skill,
To raise Auld Nick, lay him wha will.)
From whence, I hope, when she is lost,
She will be wreck't upon our Coast.
If ony claim be made, I'll swear
That we saw nought but Papish Gear.
Why should we keep it to our loss?
We burnt it all at Charing-Cross.
And for the Sir W. W.Guineys and what els,
Them we'll divide amang our sel's.
The Doctor having giv'n the Word,
A Daughty Captain drew his Sword,
And Vows—By all my Valiant Deeds,
I will not leave thee in the Weeds.
I'll stick to thee as close as Curtis
(Wha will take Care that nane shall hurt us)
'Till he that buckl'd us shall part us.
Then end-ways rush't another Crew,
(I canno' tell how many now)
They shouted—Leaders never sledge,
For we'll stick to you back and edge:
We'll swear aw that and meikle mair,
Provided always we have share.
We'll swear, and never tire of swearing,
And swear 'till some have lost their hearing.
Swear in, swear out, swear off, swear on,
And swear when Swearing time is gone.
We'll swear, and lye, and things sae handle;
That swearing truth shall give a scandal.
Ah! instantly a Gale did blow,
The Seas ran tumbling to and fro:
[Page 69]Our Skipper step't upon the Hatch,
My Lads, said he, let us dispatch,
And reef the Top-sail, for I guess,
This Gale is likely to increase.
What—? mair and mair, our Top-sail must
Be handed, let no time be lost.
And our three Low-sails will not do,
Therefore let's hand our Fores-sail too.
I think with Main-sail we'll make shift,
Sa lang's we have enough of drift.
This way again, brave Lads make hie,
And lay'r in Misne ballast by:
Still worse and worse—! Lads here again,
And reef the main-sail; I see plain
That we shall have a dreadfow storm,
Pray God our Vessel take nae harm.
Oh! wonderful! the Seas still swell,
Sure this mustmun be the fiend of Hell!
Our Ship is now sae toss't and hurl'd,
Our Main-sail must lik'ways be furl'd.
All will not do,—Plumb—Here's a Road;
Cast Anchor, wait the Will of God.
Some Service presently provide,
To save our Cable while we ride.
Heave out the Po. Lordheavyest of the ware,
Let ilka Merchant bear a share.
Set up the Glass, Watch turn about,
For of our safety I make doubt;
And clear the Boat my Lads with speed,
I fear 'twill be our last remeed.
Our Maister to his Cabin went,
And teuk a dram, for he was faint:
O then a Mountain-Sea came on us!
And nought sae sare cou'd have undone us.
[Page 70]It broke our Cable, our Boat it stav'd,
Nae lik'ly-heud we cou'd be sav'd;
It took some Men quite off the Deck,
And Sprong an ugly fearfow Leck.
Our ready Carpenters made hye,
And stop't it sunckat presently.
Yet baith our Pumps were right sare pinch't
To keep her up, tho we nev'r flinch't.
A couple of Knights
County of Durham,
in this same County,Wha neither spar'd for Pains nor Bounty,
Clamm up the Shrouds, and wrought
very heartily,
han-span,And preuv'd themsel's twa clifty Men;
Some Neighbours shew'd them small regard,
But Virtue is its awn Reward.
Some sigh'd, and some did curse and damn,
Some cry'd—Let's take the tother dram:
Some scarch't their Consciences, and vow'd
And yelp't for Mercy what they cou'd;
And sike a
disorderly noise
Hubby-shew was keep't;Wou'd wak'ned Neptune, had he sleep't.
When we with labour were just spent,
At last we to our Prayers went.
For Sailors
seldom
seindle pray, but whenThere is nae help fra Mortal Men;
Perceiving nae other remeed,
They pray to God.
Land.
So had they need.
Ten.
The Godless gang I nam'd before,
Pelted us off the Weather Shoar:
They had some
scurrilous Libels
Cannon on their Ground,But thanks to God, they were no' sound.
They rattled on, and keep't a bustle,
About our Luggs they did sae whistle,
For aw their
needless stir,
Dirdom, and their Dinn,It was but little they did winn.
We had a-board an Observator,
Experienc'd at Land and Water:
[Page 71]He minds the Compass and the Tide,
How the Wind blew, and aw beside.
Their Plots and Intrigues closely hunted,
And as they planted he dismounted.
They blirted, squirted, flirted fondly,
He Clapper-claw'd their Jerkins soundly.
They presently spent aw their Powder,
But he repeats louder and louder.
Says Lown of theirs, my Joes I fear
Yon is a parlish Ingeneer:
Had we him yance out of the way,
They cou'd no' find us sike tough play.
Perceiving that, he thought it Folly,
To set his breast against their Volly.
His down-cast was their hail intent,
They aw discharge with free Consent,
He jowk't, and o'er his head it went.
Then Heraclitus girn'd and laught,
Whilk set the raging Rabble daft;
They, when their high attempting fails,
Sneak't off like Dogs had burnt their Tails.
Our Maister instantly starts up
And wishfully look't o're the Poop.
Brave Lads, let not your Courage fail,
For thanks to God our The Law still in it's right course.Ruther's hail.
Mair Comfort for us yet beside,
For now puts in a high Spring Tide.
The wind which had sae boist'rous blow'n,
Now by degrees began to Low'n.
We found our Anchor by the Buoy,
And wey'd it up with small annoy.
We hoist our Main-sail gently up,
[...] out the Water ilka sup.
At last we got her to a Port,
Where Weather-beaten Ships resort.
[Page 72]My skilfull Pilots, and wise Seamen,
Geud Carpenters, and sike as thea men,
She cost God knaws a deal in Rigging,
(And sundry Merchants ran a Begging)
We rigg'd her up fra Stemm to Stern,
Securing where she had tane harm;
Made her, what ever she did ail,
As tite a Ship as ev'r set sail:
There's not a Vessel on the Main,
But lo'ers to her; God's haly Name
Be glorified for the same.
Our Maister then a-shore did set me,
You Lown, said he, I'll ne'er forget ye,
And with his Foot he kick't my tail
Gang hame,—be Hang'd—and handle your flail.
If ev'r hereafter any see me,
Medling
Melling wi' what belongs
perteens no' to me,I'll give him leave (mark what I say)
To hew this Craig of mine: in twa,
Some of our Lads b'ing very kind,
At a distance
Alantom follow'd me behind,We took a House, where we refresh't
Our sel's wi' what our Hostess fetch't.
Without, within, we soon grew warm,
A Sang, say yane, will do nae harm:
He lilted up, and straik't his beard,
An' please your Worship ye shall hear't.
[...] An, ta, ra, sounds the tow'ring Trumpets, hah, hah, hah, boo, boo, boo, roars the thund'ring Cannons, for the James now. Hast lads, hast, [Page 73] up, hang out the Flags, and then Carouse; yonder Neptune wades, he's lea╌ding the Mirmaids, they hear this joyful News. Whip, skip, trip, goes the dancing Dolphins, nev'r tire yet, sire, sire now for the Royal Mary, boo, boo, boo: Fight Lads, fight, to maintain the Right of brave James now. Great Sir! what we can do, will ne're make straight with you; fire, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Ho Ship, ho! what Port bound ye to, and whence came you: Lo'er, lo'er here, it's the Royal Cath'rine come from Algier: She's deep fraught, with re╌dee╌med Christians hither brought; none are left behind, fire, God send you fair Wind; fire, beat Drums, sound a╌loft.
[Page 74]I'll down and see the
Horse and Mares
Yauds well fed,It's mair nor time ye were in bed.
Land.
No, call my Groom, inquire of him.
Ten.
For Hostlers for maist pairt are slim.
Enters the Land-lady of the Inn.
L. lady.
Sir, when you please your Chamber's ready.
Land.
Ay, by and by; sit down Land-lady.
This Loyal Health once more I'll drink,
You'll pledge me heartily I think.
L. lady.
Ay Sir, I will—pray hold—a Sup
Is full as good as the whole Cup;
For Women must not be o'erseen.
To the Tepant.
Here Friend, God bless both King and Queen.Ten.
Come Land lady—But what d'ye say?
Will ye not sing a Verse or twa?
L. lady.
As heartily as ev'r I may,
Because it's Coronation-day.
I.
[...] Right Titan, when from watry Bed,
[...] has fresh Career, begun;
[...] begs leave to dry his moisty Head,
[...] at Britain's Beaming Sun:
[...] He can╌not in╌flu╌ence the Flocks,
[...] nor make the Meads look green;
[...] 'till he combs out his Lankey-Locks, before our Radiant Queen.
II.
What makes the new blown Rose creep in
And dares not shew it's Face?
But makes the sweetest Flowers begin
To fly with flightest pace?
What makes the Tulip cast it's Leaves?
Not let them here be seen?
They must not touch, the sight's too much
Of Britains Beauteous Queen.
III.
What make the lofty Cedar droop,
As if not well at ease?
What makes the neighb'ring Forests stoop,
As all were Shrubs, no Trees?
Like Noon-day-Owls, they hide their Boles,
Their timber is but mean,
The Royal-Oak, without a stroak,
Will Conquer for our Queen.
IV.
What makes Diana court the shades?
What makes her Nymphs recoil?
A Chaster Beauty them invades,
They're proud they've got the Foil:
Her Priests need keep no holy-day,
No Off'rings as have been;
Nor Sacrifice but to the eyes
Of Britains Goddess Queen.
V.
From whence hear I those chearful Chirps?
Ev'n from her Sacred Feet;
The Moans, the Groans of needy ones,
Are turn'd to Musick sweet:
Why no Complaints from Indigents?
What makes the Goals so thinn?
The Bounty, and the Charity,
Of Britains pious Queen.
Ten.
Well sung dear Hostess, come my Dow,
And let me kiss that
well-favour'd Mouth.
weel-fourd mow,When awld Megg dy's then have at you.
Land.
Th' enamel'd Flower spreads its imbellish'd Leaves,
Gives thanks for what 't has got, and more receives;
But haughty Rebels dare all Rights deny,
And God, and his Anointed both defie!
Oh! wretch'd Ingratitude! not to regard,
Their Sov'raigns good Example,
A good Subject cannot make an ill Prince.
nor Reward!As if the Almighty only did Create
Kings for the Objects of their Subjects Hate,
Not to be Honour'd, but be spurned at.
We'll talk no more, I think we'ad best
Go say our Pray'rs, and so to rest.
FINIS.
A Catalogue of some Books, Printed for Benjamin Tooke, at the Ship in St. Paul's Church-Yard.
FOLIO.
- HErodoti Halicarnassaei Historiaram Libri 9. Greek and Latin.
- Francisci Suarez Tractatus de Legibus ac Deo Legislatore.
- The Works of the most Reverend Father in God John Bramhall, D. D. late Lord Arch-Bishop of Ardmagh, Primate and Metropolitan of all Ireland, with his Life:
- A Collection of all the Statutes now in force in the Kingdom of Ireland.
- Sir Richard Baker's Chronicle of the Kings of England.
- Dr. Littleton's Sermons.
- Bishop Sanderson's Sermons.
- Sir Hum. Winch's Book of Entries.
- M. T. Ciceronis Opera omnia decem Indicibus, 2. Vol.
- Skinneri Etymologicon Linguae Anglicanae.
- Heylyn's Cosmography in 4. Books.
- Math. Paris, Historia Anglia.
- Dr Nalsons Collections from the begining of the late Rebellion to the Murther of of King Charles the First, 2 Vol.
- Heraclitus Ridens, or a Dialogue between Jest and Earnest concerning the Times.
- Sir Walter Rawleigh's History of the World.
- Dr. Brown's Travels through divers parts of Europe, as Germany, Hungary, &c. Wherein are Descriptions of the most important places, in the present War; between the Emperor, and the Grand Scignior; Illustrated with Sculptures.
- N. Lloydii Dictionarium Geographico-Poeticum, Edit. 2.
QUARTO.
- Phocena, or the Anatomy of a Porpess, dissected at Gresham Colledg; by Edw. Tyson, M.D.
- Separation of the Churches from Episcopal Government, as Practised by the present Nonconformists, proved Schismatical, by Henry Dodwell, A.M.
- The Beauty of Unity, in a Sermon Preached at Preston, by Rich. Wroe; D.D.
- The Vanity of the Dissenters Plea, for their Separation; a Sermon preached before the King at Windsor, by Rob. Creighton, D. D.
- [Page]Of Perjury, a Sermon Preached at the Assizes at Chester, by John Allen, M. A. Fellow of Trinity Colledg in Cambridge.
- A Sermon Preached before the Honorable House of Commons, November the 5th. by Henry Dove, D. D.
- A Sermon Preached, before the Lord Mayor of the City of London, on the Feast of St. Michael, by Henry Dove. D. D.
- A Sermon Preached before the King at White Hall, on the Feast of St. Paul's Conversion, by Henry Dove, D. D. Published by his late Majesties special Command.
- The present Miseries and Mischiefs of Sin, discoursed in a Sermon, before the Lord Mayor of London, by Robert Wensely Vicar of Chesthunt.
- Ferguson's Text explained, and applyed, in a Sermon before the Lord Mayor of London, by Robert Wensely, Vicar of Chesthunt.
- Oratio Anniversaria habita in Theatro Coll. Med. Lond. a Georgio Rogers, ejusdem Collegii Socio.
- A Collection of Cases and other Discourses, lately written to recover Dissenters to the Communion of the Church of England; by some Divines of the City of London, 2 Volumes.
- Causae Veteris Epitaphium, accedit causa vetus conclamata.
- Concavum Cappo-cloacorum, or a View in little, contained under a brace of Caps.
- A Sermon preached at the Funeral of Sir Roger Bradshaigh, Knight and Baronet, by Richard Wroe, D. D.
- A Sermon Preached before the King at Winchester, September 9. 1681. By Francis Turner, D. D. Dean of Windsor.
- A Sermon Preached before the Lord Mayor of London, on Easter Monday, 1684. by Francis Lord Bishop of Rochester.
- A Sermon Preached before the King at White-Hall, November 5. 1684. By Francis Lord Bishop of Ely, and Almoner to the King.
- The Books of the Old Testament, translated into Irish, by the care and diligence of Dr. W. Bedle, late Bishop of Kilmore.
- The New Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ, translated into Irish, both Printed in the Irish Character.
- The True Widdow, a Comedy, by Tho. Shadwell.
- The Works of the Reverend, and Learned Mr. John Gregory, M. A. of Christ-Church in Oxon, in two parts.
- A Brief Account of Ancient Church Government, with a Reflection on several Modern Writers of the Presbyterians.
- Ogygia, seu rerum Hibernicarum Chronologia; ex pervetus tis Monumentis fideliter inter se collat is eruta, atque ex sacris ac prophanis literis primarum orbis gentium, tum Genealogicis quam Chronologicis sufflaminata praesidijs, &c. Cum Catalogo Regum in Brittannia Scotorum. Authore Roderico O Flaherto, Armig.
OCTAVO and TWELVES.
- TWO Letters of Advice. 1. for the Susception of Holy Orders. 2. for Studies Theological, with a Catalogue of the Christian Writers, and genuinne Writers, that are extant of the first 3 Centuries, 80.
- Some Considerations of present concernment, how far Romanists may be trusted by Princes of another Perswasion, &c. 80.
- A Reply to Mr. Baxter's pretended Confutation of a Book, Intituled, Separation of Churches, from Episcopal Government, &c. 80.
- A Discourse concerning the One Altar, and the One Priesthood, insisted on by the Ancients, in their disputes against Schism, 80.
- Dissertationes Cyprianicae, 80.
- Two short Discourses against the Romanists, 120.
- H. Grotii de Caenae Administratione, ubi Pastores non sunt, dissertatio, cum diversorum responsionibus, 80. These seven written by Henry Dodwel▪ M. A.
- Navigation and Commerce, their Original and Progress, by J. Evelyn Esq 80.
- Of Gifts and Offices in the Publick Worship of God, in 3 parts, by Edw. Wetenhall, D. D. Lord Bishop of Cork, 80.
- Clavis Astrologiae Elimata: Or a Key to the whole Art of Astrology, new Filed and Polished, in 3 parts; the Second Edition enlarged, by Henry Coley, Student in the Mathematicks and Astrology.
- The Holy Life of Monsieur de Rently, a late Noble man of France, 80.
- A Prospect of the State of Ireland, by P. W. 80.
- The Experienced Angler, or Angling Improved, by Coll. Venables. 80.
- The Sceptical Chymist, by Rob. Boyle, Esq
- The Degrees of Consanguinity and Assinity, by R. Dixon, D. D.
- Elenchus Antiquitatum Alibonensium, per Dan. Langhern, S. T. B. 80.
- Chronicon Regum Anglorum ab Hengisto usque ad Heptarchiaefinem, per Dan. Langhorn, 80.
- Poems and Songs, by Tho. Flatman, 80. The fourth Edition.
- Poems Written on several Occasions, by N. Tote, the second Edition.
- The French Gardiner, out of French by J Evelyn, Esq 80.
- Alaxiae Obstaoulum, 80.
- Gardinerus de Trinitate cortra Sandium, 80.
- The Catechism of the Church of England, with Marginal Notes, by Edw. Wetenhall, D. D. Lord Bishop of Cork.
- Phaedri Fabulae ex recensione Chr. Wase, 80.
- The Country Parson's Advice to his Parishioners, 80.
- Des Cartes's Metaphysical Meditations, with his Life, by W. Molyneaux, Esq 80.
- The Life of the Bishop of Munster, 80.
- The Aerial Noctiluca, by R. Boyle, Esq 80.
- [Page]New Experiments and Observations made upon the Icy Noctiluca, by R. Boyle, Esq 80. Idem. in Latin, 120.
- Thealma & Clearchus, a Pastoral History, 80.
- Gocperi Grammatica Linguae Anglieanae, 80.
- Vulgar Errors in Divinity removed, 80.
- A Manual of Examples for School Exercise, 80.
- Of the subject of Church Power in whom it resides, by Simon Lowth, Vicar of Cosmus Blent, 80.
- Dictionarium Trilingue secundum locos Communes nommibus usitatioribus Anglis, Latinis, Graecis, Opera. I. Raii M. A. S. R. L. 80.
- Sir Henry Wotton's Remains, 80.
- Herbert's Country Parson, 120.
- The Form of Soundwords by R. Wensley, Vicar of Chesthut, 120.
- An Enquiry into the Ministry of the Presbyterians, 120.
- Aero Chaimos; or a Register for the Air, by N. Henshaw, M. D.
- Lingard's Letter of Advice to a young Gentleman leaving the University, 120.
- The Souldiers Guide, being an Essay offer'd to all of that Profession, 120.
THE END.