BEing very Crazie in Body, but extream Sick in Mind, and sorely shaken with the Feaver of Envy for the Late miscarriages of our Holy Designs in England, for the Subverting the Government and Religion there; and finding by the several evil Symptoms, as blasphemous Belchings, and desperate Ravings, idle Railings, frequent Cursings, silthy Spewings, blasts of Excommunications, and many other the like Signs, that I am not far from my End: I do therefore thus Ordain, Constitute, and Make this my Last Will and Testament in Order and Form following.

JMprimis, I do bequeath my Soul to him that has most right to it, whether God or the Devil: But since the Latter has been much my Friend upon several occasions, and that I know him best, on condition he will give me the Supremacy in his Kingdom, I shall be­queath it to him.

Item. As for my Body, I order it to be Buried with the usual Pomp and Ceremonies, and that there be given a plenary Indulgence to him who shall Write my Epitaph.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to my next Successor all my Spiritual Pride, and to maintain it, St. Peter's Patrimony, with all the Incomes, Tithes, Benefits, Profits and Emoluments, made and received by Sa­criledge, Perjury, Simony, Lying, Whoring, Murder, and the like, in as full and ample manner as was possessed by any of my Predecessors; and also the Benefits and Profits accruing by Indulgences, Pardons and false Miracles, pious Fraud, and holy Cheats throughout my Kingdoms and Jurisdictions.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to my most Catholick Son a large pair of Asses Ears, a large Pack-saddle sitted for his Back, with a great Bri­dle and Cauason fitted for his Head and Mouth, on condition that my Successor may Ride him, as I and my Predecessors have done.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to the Lords of the Inquisition, a Chest of Cruelty, ten Boxes of Persecution, a Box called the Art of Tor­menting, the Powder of the Hearts of Tygers to be taken before they Examine their Prisoners, and for a Cordial, a Bottle of the Blood of Martyrs.

Item. I Will and Bequeath unto all my Cardinals, seven precious Vials of the Seven deadly Sins, with a large Box of Luxury, another of Sodomy, and a third of Buggery.

Item. I will and Bequeath to the Franciscans, six Fardels of Hypo­crisie, and seven Chests of Franciscan Lies.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to the Dominican Fryers, the History of Jetzer, seven Trunks of Verbosity, and two of Backbiting.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to the Capuchins, one Box full of De­ceits, and three of Formal Austerities.

Item. I Bequeath among the Nunneries, seven thousand Chests of Concupiscence.

Item. I Will and Bequeath among the Fryers and Secular Priests, as many Vats of Lust, and fifteen thousand Dollars to pay off Surgeons and Apochecaries Bills, for curing of the Venereal Disease.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to all the Hospitals and Prisons within my Jurisdiction, for the Relief of the Sick and Poor Prisoners, three Half-pence.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to my most Christian Son, a Sword to cut off the Hugonots, and a Halter to Hang himself, after he has mis­carried in his designs of becoming the General Monarch, and placing St. Peter's Chair in Paris.

Item. I Will and Bequeath England, Scotland and Ireland, to him that can take them from the Right Owner.

Item. I Will and Bequeath all the Kingdoms of all Heretical Princes to the Catholicks that can take them from them, and a tenth part of every such Kingdom so Conquered to the Jesuits.

Item. I Will and Bequeath the King of Portugal an Iron Yoke to wear at my Successors will and pleasure.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to the Emperor, so long as he shall con­tinue to Persecute the Protestants, two Chests of Agnus Dei's seven Consecrated Roses, two Crystal Crucifixes, and another of Gold, with Holy Reliques, Trinkets, Gewgaws, Vests, Copes, Caps, Tip­pets, Rochets, and other things for him to dispose as he shall think good among the Electors.

Item. I Will and Bequeath all the Hollanders to the Devil, and their Lands for the keeping of my Successors Hogs.

Item. I Will and Bequeath a Chest of Money to the King of Po­land, to Fight against Turks, that they may not think to molest my Suc­cessors.

Item. I Will and Bequeath the City of Geneva, for a place to make common Stews in, and leave the Begging Fryers Overseers of the Work, and to be Stipendiary Pimps throughout the World.

Item. To all the Poor Whores at Rome, I give six thousand Crowns, and to all the Rich as many Indulgences.

Item. I Give and Bequeath to my dear Sons the Jesuits, whom I make Over-seers of this my Last Will and Testament, Machiavil's Book fairly gilt, one Large Box of Cunning, another of Policy, three of Deceits, seven compleat Fardels of Perjury, Lying, Whoring, and other precious Stuff, seven Vats full of Worldly Greatness, and Out­ward Pomp, ten Chests of Impudence, and as many of Insinuation, one of seeming Purity and Sanctity, one of Murthers, also a Box cal­led the Art of Conjuration, a Chest full of Sanctified Daggers, a Ca­binet of Mother of Pearl to lay up their Morals in, and two Chests of Jesuits-Poisons, and five of Poisonous Doctrine.

Item. I Will and Bequeath to my Natural Nephews all the rest of my Worldly Goods to be equally divided amongst them.

Item. I Will and Bequeath an Annual Stipend of Two thousand Crowns to be employed for the expunging several places of Scrip­ture that point me to be Antichrist, and the Whore of Babylon, and several others that declare the Fall and Overthrow of our Power and Jurisdiction.

Item. I will and Bequeath the like Stipend to him or them who shall invent new Anathema's, Curses, Plots and Conspiracies against all Hereticks, especially those of Great Britain and Ireland.

Item. I Will and Bequeath for the Writing of the Lives and Acts of all the good Popes since Gregory Bishop only of Rome, and not Universal bishop, seven Farthings, because the work will be small.

Item. I Will and Bequeath for Writing the Lives and Acts of all the bad popes since that time, seven thousand Crowns, because the work will be great.

Item. I Will and Bequeath an Annual Stipend, to be given at the discretion of my dear Sons the Jesuits, the Overseers of this my last Will and Testament, for the writing of the holy life of Pope A­lexander, and his good Nephew Casar Borgia, for a pattern of Romish goods and policy.

Item. Because my good and faithful friend the Devil, whose kind­ness I cannot but acknowledge in many things, though he miscarried in the late Conspiracy in England, should not be forgot: I Will and Bequeath him Souls and Bodies, of all those that shall call me Antichrist, or Whore of Babylon, or that shall write against me or my holy Sons the Jesuits, and of those who shall make Plays on any of our Prede­cessors, or shall write or speak Prophecies of our Downfal and Over­throw, as I have full power and authority.

And Lastly. I order, constitute and appoint, my said old Friend Privy Councillor to my Successors, and to manage the business of State-policy, with the general Procurator of the Jesuits in a private Cabal; and I further confirm, order and allow all Privileges, Grants and Emoluments, given to my dear Sons the Jesuits, and desire them to see this my Last Will and Testament fully and wholly performed,