THIS Famous Rover, from the Multitude of his Titles, to begin with his right Name William Morrell, was by Profession a Chyrur­gion, and more than twenty Years ago, for many Years together, a Practitioner of good Credit in Banbury, where his Industry honestly got him, by his Practice, near two Hundred a Year, with which he maintained himself, his Wife and Family very hand­somely, till about eighteen Years ago he began to be [Page 2]very Lazy, and much addicted to hanker after the Con­versation of the Gentry thereabouts; and being a Person very Facetious, and his Company not disacceptable, he screwed himself into the Society of the best Quality round about, and would be a Month or two a Guest at several Great Mens Houses; more particularly he some time since insinuated himself into the Favor of a Worthy Gentleman near Banbury, viz. Humphry Wickham of Swakely Esq; whose Person and Character he pre­tended to represent, and in which Imposture he made his last Exit.

But to begin our History in order; From his Con­versing with Gentlemen and Herding with Quality, Business began to fall off: His many Rambles from home, soon made his Practice flag; when the Glass and the Bottle came into play, the Salvatory and Playster­box went out. And his Patients could not well stay for the Setting of a Broken Limb, or Tenting a Green Wound, till our Esculapius was to be called, the Lord knows where, and found the Devil knows when. This Trade continuing, the other fell to decay, till at last Poverty began to peep in at his Window, and Duns to hover about his Door. In these little Exi­gencies and Necessities (for the Gentleman's Tables abroad would not fill the Bellies at home, nor would Hunting or Hawking pay Landlords Rent) his Wants put him upon Shifts and Artifices for his Subsistence; and what with a Natural Wit and a pretty large Talent of Confidence, the pressing Hand of Fortune threw him upon several Tricks and Frauds to hold his Head above-board. But not to trouble you with any of his lesser Diminitive Exploits, the Infancy and Nonage of his Activity, we do not think fit to treat you with [Page 3]these pettier Adventures, but e'en set out in one of his noblest Atchievements, and paint our new Guzman in some of his boldest and fairest Colours.

Accordingly he Equips himself with a Sturdy Young Country Fellow, a Ralpho to our Hudibras, and takes a Knight-Errantry one day to a Fair at Brayls in Warwickshire, his Habit between a Grazier and a plain Country Gentleman; where Santering about with his Man Tom (for so his Squire was titled) at last spying a Knot of good likely Kine (near a Score of them) Ah Master, says Tom, what a parcel of brave Cattle are these. Ay Tom, replies the Master, I am sorry I saw them no sooner; these would do my Business to a T; but as the Devil and ill Luck would have it, I have laid out my whole Stock already, and so I'll e'en set my Heart at Rest. The Country Fellow, the Owner of the Cattle, seeing a Gentleman of his honest Appearance surveying his Beasts, and hearing every word that pass'd between the Man and Master (for they took care to talk loud enough to be heard) thought he had got a good Chapman, and desired the Gentleman to draw nearer and handle the Cattle. Handle, answers Tom, what for? You know, Sir, you have laid out all your Money already, and what should we handle Cattle unless we had Cole to buy 'em. I confess they are for your Turn above any I have zeen in the whole Vair, but that's nothing, the Money Master the Money. The Money, replies the Country-man, Troth that shall make no Difference, nor break Squares between us; if you and I can agree, the Cattle are at your Service: I suppose you are some honest Gentle­man hereabouts, and the Money will do my work next [Page 4]Market-day. Pray what may I call your Name? My Name is Walters, replies our Cattle-Merchant, Wal­ters, Master, answers our Country-man, What any Relation to his Worship the Noble Sir William Walters? Ay, Friend, a small Relation, a Brother of his. A Brother of Sir William's! Off goes the Country-man's Bonnet at the next word, and a long Scrape made; for no Respect was too great for a Brother to a Person of such eminent Quality. My Cattle, Noble Squire, Ay with all my Heart. In short after much ado to make the Country-man be covered before him, he fell to treat about the Price of the Cattle, in which he bargained so warily, that they had almost parted for a single Shilling in a Dispute between them. But at last the Bargain and Sale concluded, Tom is com­manded to drive home the Cattle, the Money to be paid next Market-day, and the Country-man has the Honor to drink a Pot at parting with his Worshipful Chap­man our Sir William's Brother: This Feat performed, he takes a walk round the Fair, and picks up a pretty Country Girl, a Masons Daughter, at a small Town a­bout four Miles off, and gives her the common Country Civility of a Fair, viz. a Glass of White-wine and Su­gar. During this Entertainment of our young Damsel, he is most desperately smitten with her Beauty, inso­much that our Inamorato must wait upon her home to her Father's House, nothing but Death and Despair at­tending if he cannot have that extraordinary Happiness. The Girl who by this time had learnt his Name and Qua­lity, was not a little confounded at the pressing Impor­tunities of a Person of his Worth to a poor Girl of her little Capacity, and notwithstanding her modest Refu­sals, felt a secret Pride from so kind an offer, and at last accepted of his Service home. No sooner was she got [Page 5]safe handed home, and Mother and Daddy, were pri­vately whispered what Honor they received from such a Visitant; the best the House could afford was not good enough for him: after the courser Compliments of [Lord, Sir, such a Person of Quality under our poor Roof] and the like; the best welcome that could be made him was not wanting: Nay, for what was defi­cient at home, the whole Neighborhood was Ransakt to lend help toward the Accommodation. Our new Lover not to baulk a good Cause, openly Professes no less than honourable Matrimonial Affection to his dear Conqueror. Estate he wants none; and Portion or Quality are below his Consideration, the Satisfaction of Love is the only thing in the World he resolves to gratifie.

The Father and mother are much astonish'd at such an Addressor to their Daughter, nor is the Daugh­ter her self a little surprized at it, though of the two her Wonder is the least; for her Sexes natural Frailty was so apt to make her think it the pure Ef­fect of her own sweet Face, that the power of her Charms, and the Quality of her Captive was not al­together (she fancied) so extraordinary an Adven­ture. In fine, Our passionate Admirer pushes on his suit with all the Vigour and Application imaginable, and truly you may well conceive so weak a Resist­ance could not well hold out long against so Puissant an Assailer: The Siege is press'd home, and in three short days the white Flag is hung out, a Parly beat, Articles concluded, and the Fort surrender­ed. Our Damsel, in short, commits Matrimony; [Page 6]and the whole Family is not a little Transported at such a Noble Alliance. Thus Wedded and Bedded, Our new Couple are all Honey and Sweetness, and though Sir William Walter's House was not above a do­zen Miles from thence, his Adopted Brother all safe and secure, sleeps in the soft Arms of his young Bride with all the Rapture of Pleasure and Delight. After three Revelling days were spent in Feasting and Joy, the Fa­ther-in-Law and himself enter in a close Cabinet Con­sult about providing for Family and Settlement. He tells the Old Man, that truly his Brother the Knight will undoubtedly take no little Dudgeon at this Match, not that he cares a Farthing for't. He has Married the only Creature of the World he can Love, and he is resolved to Cherish her accordingly. But however, to manage Affairs with Discretion, he thinks it his best Prudence and Policy, to get his Trunks and the Writings of his Estate safe out of his Brother's Hands, before he pub­lishes the Marriage. And for that purpose he has no better way than for his Father-in-Law to help him to a small Cart and a couple of able Horses, and to drive to his Brothers, and take up his Trunks, &c. And considering he had laid out all his ready Money in Cattle at Brayle Fair, he desired the favour of him to furnish him with Ten Pounds, that he might not be unprovided with a little of the Ready about him, in case of any Rupture between his Brother and him­self, till he could furnish himself better amongst his Tenants.

The Old Man very readily embraced this reason­able proposition, and though truly the Summ of Ten [Page 7]Pounds was above his Stock, nevertheless living in Repute amongst his Neighbors, through great Soli­citation, some forty and some thirty Shillings, and such like Summs, with much ado he raises the Ten Pounds desired; and more and above he proeures two very Able Horses and a Cart to bring away the Trea­sure aforesaid, &c.

By this time his Man Tom having Sold the Cattle, is come to wish his Noble Master Joy of his fair Bride, and so the Master and Tom attended by a Brother of his Bride, an Honest Country Swain, who though so highly honoured with this new Affinity, is at pre­sent planted in no higher a Post than to be a Mate with his Man Tom to drive the Cart, set forwards, &c.

The Brother-in-Law, Cheek by Jowl, with the fore-Horse of his small Team, drives on very merrily for about Nine of the Twelve Miles to Sir William's, en­tertaining his Worshipful Relation with the very best Tune he could Whistle all the way they travell'd.

But now within Three Miles of home, our poli­tick Bridegroom thinks it advisable, that one of his Carters, the Brother, should make a Halt at an Ale­house where they stopp'd, and the whole Manage of the Cart and Horses be intrusted with Tom, for fear the sight of a Stranger to come to take up Goods at his Brother's might give occasion of Curiosity and Inquiry, whereas Tom, an old Servant in the Fa­mily, [Page 8]with less Suspision and Inspection might do it.

These strong Reasons (or indeed weaker would have served turn) were satisfactory enough, and so the Gentleman Equipping his Brother Clodpate with a George to stay and Drink till they returned, the Master and Man fairly drive on, for the remaining three Miles to bring off the Bag and Baggage, &c.

The Potent Summ of a whole Half Crown to be laid out in Ale, set in our Country Youth to a hearty Carouse with the kind Hostess of the House, where the Esquires Health was over and over remembred, not forgetting the Great Man at the Great House about Three Miles off, where, as simple a Country Fellow as he was, he expected one day to be bet­ter acquainted.

But to draw this Adventure towards a Conclu­sion, our waiting Carter long expecting the return of the Brother, the Palfries and the Cargo, notwith­standing the Strength of powerful Ale, and his Sweet Land-Ladies diverting Company, began at last to be Impatient; sometimes he fancied the Loading was too heavy for the Poor Beasts, and he thought it his best way to walk out and see if he could meet them: But all Inquiry was in vain, Night at last drew on, and the best part of his Half-crown melted down: at last, though very Uneasie▪ and Restless, he is per­swaded by his kind Hostess to take a hard Nap till Morning. The Cock was not so soon awake as he, [Page 9]for to tell Truth, he ne're slept at all, though in­deed he dreamt all Night, for he could not think less, than that some Retainers of the Family had un­doubtedly followed the Cart, and Murder'd the Squire to run away with the Treasure, and what his poor Sister would suffer to be a Widow so early, was little less than a mortal Apprehension. Thereupon very betimes in the morning he pads to Sir William's, and very earnely enquires, what was become of the Squire, the Knights Brother. Sir William's Brother, reply'd the Servants, we know none he has; 'tis true, he had one some years beyond Sea, but whether dead or alive, is more than any Man upon English Ground (God wott) can tell. How! no Brother-in-law Squire! No Sir William's Family! No Sister like to be a Lady, nor Brother a Gentleman! nor no Horses nor Cart neither! This staggering Account put him into so doleful a Dumps, that he stood almost Thunderstruck. And truly the twelve Miles home agen, was so tedi­ous a Journey, and the lamentable Narrative he must make 'em at home, so killing a Fancy, that it was a great Mercy he did not make a stay upon some con­venient Twig in some Hedge in the Road, rather than live to be the Messenger of such a woful, sad Tale— But ill News at last must out. The Bird and the Beasts were all flown; the poor Bride sweetly brought to Bed, a Cart and two Horses to pay for, a Son-in-law to find when the Devil was blind, the Daugh­ters sweet play thing lost, the Father and Mother dipt ten whole pounds in Chalk, and the whole Fa­mily under the suffering of a whole Chamberpot full of waylings and Tears for their Calamities and Mis­fortunes.

But to return to our Rover: By the sale of Cart and Team, ten pound in Cole the last lump, and the price of his Kine the other, his Pockets were pretty well lined; and considering this spot might soon grow too hot for him, he thinks it wisest to shift the Scene, and thereupon dismissing, for some time, his Man Tom, who had pretty well lick'd his Fingers in so profitable a Service, our Grasier now transmogrifies into a Spark, and very sprucely rigg'd, takes a ramble Westward, where meeting with no Ad­venture worth recital, in some small time he gets to Ludlow. There taking up the first Night at an Inn, his Garb (though unattended by Servants) soon made him good Reception; his first enquiry was to learn out the Eminentest People in the Town, of which being readily inform'd by the Drawers; he learnt. amongst other Relations, that there was a Substantial Wealthy Tradesman, had two pretty Mar­riageable Daughters: Being directed to the House, he addresses to the Father, telling him he was a Bark­shire Gentleman, and intending to make some small abode in Ludlow, he did not think fit to continue in a Publick House, but would gladly gain admission to some private Family. The Tradesman (whose name we will not mention) being a Widower, and taken with the manner of his Discourse, kindly invited him to his own House, which our Travelling Gal­lant as kindly embracing, Accommodation was made, and he was lodged that very Night at this private Landlords.

His entrance here gave him the opportunity of daily conversing with no mean wit and charms in the two sweet Daughters of the Family; and our Gallant, very apt to take fire at but a small matter of Beauty, especially with a Portion at the Tail of it, felt no little wamblings at the extraordinary ac­complishments of the elder, somewhat the sweet­er Creature. But this new Adventure was not an enterprise so easie as the last; this Sire of some fa­shion, was so far above the Education and Extract of his former Father-in-Law, a Man of Mortar and Trowel; and his Daughters of a reach and under­standing so much beyond the others humbler capa­city; that measures must be quite alter'd here from those that he took before. Accordingly now his dis­course was always upon Foreign subjects, himself and his own affairs the least part of his talk; and if any inquisitive question, either by Father or Daughters were made relating to his Family or Concerns, he an­swered with that Modesty, and almost silence to all demands of that kind, that he left their curiosity still in the dark; and which indeed was so much a height­ning to the favourable imaginations they had concei­ved of him; that they doubted not in the least, but he was of eminent Quality; and what any boasting Vanity would have made 'em rather suspect, his Modesty on the contrary confirm'd. 'Twas some few days be­fore they inquired his name, for which he had ready at his Tongue's end, the name of a very great Family in Barkshire; but not descending to particulars, the remoteness of the place did not gain 'em much intelli­gence [Page 12]of his Quality from only the bare name. All this while, at some little distance, he dropt a great many complaisant words to the elder Sister, which look'd very much like Love, and which he indeed desired should be so interpreted. In this Conversation, now of a Fortnights continuance, he had rendred himself so acceptable to the whole Family, that a great many favourable thoughts on all sides inclined towards him. The Address to the Daughter, at last looked a little more plain and barefac'd, and at that time a Fair happening at Ludlow, where he had been divert­ing himself with seeing of Fashions, he came home in much Concern, and some kind of Passion, much greater than hitherto they had at any time seen from him. ‘Certainly there is no place in the world (says he passionately) so retir'd, but some Devil or other will still find out and haunt me.’ The odness of this expression invited the elder Sister to ask him what he meant. ‘Why truly, Madam, (he replied) I have been hunted from three or four Towns al­ready, for in spight of all my resolutions of living incognito, some unlucky Person or other comes full in my mouth, and will betray me in splght of my Soul.’ This answer did but heighten her Curiosity, and having, as she thought, some little Interest in him as a profest Servant of hers, she was a little the bolder in pressing the Question; and therefore plainly ask'd him why he liv'd incognito, and what accident had now discovered him: To this at last, with a little more frankness than he had hitherto used, he replied, the reason of his Ramble from his Family, with his Li­ving three or four Months past unknown to the whole [Page 13]World, was only to prevent the ruine of a Sister, who like a foolish Girl, was in much danger to be un­done by a Beggerly Match she was too fond of; and her Portion being in his hands, he had absented him­self from his home, lest the softness of her tears, the importunities of several Advocate's in behalf of this indigent Lover, together with the weakness of his own tender heart, might at last be prevail'd upon to grant his consent to what he knew would be his shame and her undoing. And as ill luck would have it, he had unfortunately tumbled upon a Countryman of his, now at the Fair, who would infallibly run open mouth'd to his Sister and his Family, and tell 'em all where he was. This discovery gave a good occasion to the fair Examiner to be not only a Pleader for her own Sex in the Person and cause of his unknown Sister, but likewise to be a Champion for Love. For now she plainly told him, that a great many grains of allowance were to be made, where hearts were inseparable. If this Lover of his Sisters was a man of Sense and Quality (as neither of those he could deny him) it was a little barbarous in him to oppose the whole Repose and Contentment of so near a Relation as a Sister, for so sordid a consideration as a little Worldly Inte­rest. Besides, there was a Providence always attend­ed Faith and Truth in Love, and undoubtedly soon­er or later would provide for their well-being, or else enable 'em to bear a meaner portion of Riches, which others perhaps might, less contentedly, possess, This argument was almost the daily discourse, in which she seem'd to gain some little ground, but not [Page 14]enough to perswade him to the unreasonable Grant of his Sisters desires.

About five days after comes a Letter directed to him at Ludlow, with the Post Mark upon it very au­thentically, which in a very legible Woman's hand contained these words.

The next Post four or five Letters more came af­ter him; one from his Bayliff, to desire him, for God's sake to come home again; for the Devil a Farthing would his Tenants pay till they saw their Landlord. A second from one of his Tenants, com­plaining of his bad Crop, and the low price of Corn, and that unless he would bate him Twenty pound a Year Rent, he could never hold his Farm; earnestly desiring his Worship to come home, and take care of his poor Tenants, &c. A third con­doling his Misfortune in the loss of his Eldest Son, and desiring to see his Sweet Worship's Face, that [Page 16]he might get him to put his Second Boy's Life into his Copy-hold; and others of the like Import.

These Letters our Spark left in his Closet Win­dow, and one whole day going abroad, by a pre­tended Negligence, he shot the Bolt of his Closet Lock out of the Staple, and so left his Door a-jar, and his Letters expos'd to any body that would please to read 'em. This Stratagem succeeded to his Wish, for the Daughter, whom I may now call his Mistress, knowing him safe abroad, had dropt into his Chamber when the Maid was making the Bed, and finding the Closet Door open, made bold to peep, and spying his Letters there, tips the wink upon the Maid, whom she made of the Council, and read 'em all out The Contents put her mightily upon the gog; for certainly she concluded he must be a Man of a mighty Estate, so many Tenants, and the Lord knows what; and if a Sister had Two thousand Pounds, what must an Elder Brother pos­sess. After she had conjured the Maid to silence, she could not forbear running to her Father, and telling him all she had discover'd: The Father at first a little reprimanded her Curiosity, but consi­dering he had found out a Love Intrigue be­tween his Daughter and him, he thought it no unwelcome discovery. At last looking very sted­fastly upon his Daughter's Face, with a sort of a kind fatherly leer, he cry'd, Ah Child, would he were a Bed with thee. How, Father, reply'd the Girl blushing. Nay no harm (quoth the [Page 17]Father) Chicken, that's all. Thou sayst he makes love to thee, and troth I must own it no small part of my Ambi­tion to have a Person of his Quality and Fortunes for a Son-in-law. In short, The Father gave her very seasonable Admonition; for having sounded her Inclinations, and found 'em to his own wish, with a Fatherly Authority he commanded her, if his Addresses hinted at Marriage, to make him all reasonable Advances that way.

Our Gallant found his Plot had taken; for he had critically observed in what most particular manner and station to a quarter of an inch he had laid his Letters; and finding all of 'em displaced more or less from the exact point he had left 'em, he plainly perceived they had all of 'em been read. Besides, in compliance to her Father's Orders, and indeed a little to her own Inclinations, he discover'd her usual Coldness to him a little diminish'd, and her Aspect more favourable, which plainly told him the Bait had taken. Whereupon one Evening find­ing her alone in her Garden, with a confidence more than usual, he plainly spoke home, telling her what an inestimable Blessing he should acquire in possessing so much sweetness for a Wife.

A long Courtship ensued, the Particulars too tedious, only the Girl was a little more pliant than ordinary, but much doubting the integrity of his Protestations; al­ledging it was very unlikely he would debase himself to marry a Creature of her mean Fortune, for all she could at present challenge, except what her Father might do for her after his decease, was only a 100 l. left her in her Father's hands by an Uncle deceas'd. Our Gallant pre­sently with much disdain seem'd to slight all thoughts of her Fortune, for that, he thank'd Heav'n, he wanted not; and truly her dear Person was the only considera­tion that had fix'd his Heart intirely her Captive. To bring him to the happy point, 48 hours are not past, before he comes to reap the fair Fruit. The marriage­knot [Page 18]is tied, and the Nuptials consummated, and Joy and Felicity runs high between them.

In this happy State, and uninterrupted Delights, they continued some days, when of a sudden his old Servant Tom, booted and spurr'd, comes to Ludlow, and now in a little higher station than before, in the garb and figure of one of his Bayliffs, he comes post thus far, first to tell him the Distraction of his Family occasion'd by his ab­sense; 2dly, The Lady his Sister's sudden departure, God knows whither, for she went away by night two days be­fore he set out from home, and has not been heard of since. And that a Letter was come from Bristol, intima­ting that his Venture in Sherry was safely landed there, and that the King's Customs came to 97 l. but his Corre­spondent at Bristol being lately dead, the Custom was yet unsatisfied; and truly for his part none of the Tenants would pay him one Groat till they saw their Lanlord a­gain, and therefore he could not raise the Money to sa­tisfy it. Our new Bridegroom hearing all this, presently communicates the whole matter to his sweet Bedfellow, desiring her to get her Father to accommodate him with that Sum; not that he ask'd it as any part of her Unkle's Legacy, he scorned to be so poor-spirited; no, he requested it as a Boon, and the Monies should speedily be repaid with Thanks: Which if he pleas'd to do for him, his Servant should fall down the Severn, and take care of his Wines, of which his dear Father in-law should have one Hogs­head to drink to her Hans in Keldar. The Daughter was a speedy and successful Embassadress, for the Money was presently laid him down in Gold, for the more case of his Servant's carriage of it. Tom had not been two hours gone, but a Footboy in a very fine Livery brings him a Letter from his Sister, signifying her extreme Concern for his deserting his Affairs and Family, and that her Griefs and Disquiets had made her take a long Ramble to see him once more. And that she was now at Hereford, not da­ring [Page 19]to approach any nearer till she had his gracious War­rant and Permission, which she humbly upon her bended Knees intreated of him, with a great deal more passionate Courtship to him upon that Subject. Upon perusal of this Letter he seem'd to melt into a great deal of good nature and compassion for his dear Sister, insomuch that a Tear stood in his Eyes which his sweet Bride very kindly drank in a kiss. At length launching out into a great many tender Expressions towards his Sister, which Goodness his kind Bride much applauded and encouraged, throwing in many a kind word in her Sisters behalf; At last the Brother concluded he would be so civil to her, that since her extravagant Affection had brought her thus far to visit him, he would return her the Favour of Riding himself to Hereford to fetch her, if his kind Fa­ther would procure him a Horse. Ay, with all his heart. Nay, both Father and Daughter proffer'd to take the same Journey with him to pay their Respects to the young Lady, and attend upon her as part of her Train to Ludlow. No, by no means, replied our Spark; that was more than the Rules of Honour would allow: for his dear Bride, as his Wife, was a Person in Quality above her, and whatever Kindnesses she pleased to show her when at Ludlow, was in her free Power; but this com­plaisance was too great a Condescension, and consequent­ly he beg'd her leave that the tenderness he had of her Honour might absolutely forbid her any such thought. And indeed his Father's was much the same Conde­scention, which he must likewise no way suffer.

The Father and Daughter both silenced with this An­swer, acquiesced with his Reasons, as being much a more experienced Master of Ceremonies than they could pretend to; consenting to let him go alone only attend­ed by the Sister's Page; in the mean while resolving to apply their officious Respects to this fair, tho yet un­known Relation another way, viz. in making a suitable preparation for her honourable Reception. But first a [Page 20]very stately Horse was borrow'd, one that a Collonel of the Guards had lately bid a lumping Sum for; with all Accoutrements answerable. And at mounting, our Ca­valier whispering in his Father's ear, and telling him he had been long from home, and not knowing whether his remaining Stock might hold out to his present Oc­casions, he desired—The Father would not hear out the Speech, but running up stairs presently, fetch'd down, and stole into his hand a silk Purse richly lined with Twenty Broad Pieces.

Our Squire thus every way obliged, after his due Con­ges all made, bids them all Farewel till to morrow, and so prances off. Here let us leave the Father and Daughter as busy for the Credit of the Cause, as may be imagined, making all suitable Provision for to morrow's Entertain­ment; the Kitchin, and Pantry, the Bed-Chamber, and the Court-Cubboard, must all appear in Splendour ex­traordinary.

And now to return to our Traveller: Heaven knows he had the misfortune to miss his way, for he never found Hereford, nor Sister. His Barb too found another Chap­man than the Collonel of the Guards; for both Horse and Accoutrements all embargoed, and the dismounted Cavalier slipt into a Frize-Coat of his Man Tom's provi­ding, who waited his coming, The Master, Page, and Tom, in a small prepared Vessel, troul'd down the Se­vern as fast as Tide and good Speed could carry them.

As we thunder'd down the Severne, one of our Strollers being at present useless, our Page (well rewarded for playing his part in the Farse) is dropt at Worcester, from whence we continue our Voyage to Bristol. Arrived there pretty late in a Summers Evening, 'tis not thought con­venient to appear in any Dress whatever had been seen before at Ludlow, nor indeed to expose his Face, lest any Inquiry might be made there about him as a Sherry-Merchant, and so trunking up all his best Rayment, he gets himself new rigged at a Salesmans in a genteel Garb, [Page 21]but something modester than his Ludlow Bravery, and Tom and he next morning move off to Bath.

It fortunes here, that he Quarters at one of the great Inns, it being the beginning of the Summer, just before Bath time, where was a brisk Daughter of the house, about half way stage between 20 and 30. and consequently much inclinable manwards. A Girl that had had the Ho­nour of many a slap cross the Mouth, and chuck under the Chin by Lords and Earls in her time, her Fathers ho­nourable Guests at Bath season. Our most constant Lover of every new face, feels the old Itch again. Business he finds will thicken upon him, and therefore flusht with his late Successes, he resolves to throw out his winning hand as far as it will run.

But now to know what Portion this Damsel had, for without a spill of yellow Boys, naked White and Red has but indifferent Charms with him. This Intelligence was quickly made, without asking the question; for there was a Jest in the Family of one of the Drawers being Suitor there, who belike wanted a tite sum of 80 l. to set up withal (a small Portion of hers formerly left her by a Grandfather, and now at use.) This Drawer forsooth was a Rival, but not an over-formidable one. For truly our Inn-keepers Daughter had so often been tickled with the Addresses of Quality, that (Foh!) her Fathers Drawer was scarce worthy to hold up her Train. A Gentleman, or nothing for her. Nay, if she has not the happiness to strike in for a Lease for Life at Bed and Board with some honourable Person, rather than dye in ignorance, keep a stale Maiden-head, and so lead Apes, she has long since resolved not to stand out at a lower game, and en'e admit a Tenant at Will to an Inmate of Fashion and Quality; and was grosly suspected she had tried the Constitution of her Body, under a load of Honour long before her present year of twenty five. But true or false, that's a small Blot in her Scutchion.

Our Don John is absolutely captivated, and plies lier [Page 22]home with all the Rhetorick that Love can afford. Our man Tom in the mean while but very modestly, is whisper­ing amongst his Mates, the lower Tire of the Family, the Servants, what a Worthy Gentleman his Master is, be­ing a Rich Norfolk Gentleman (a pretty large stride from Bathe) of 500 a year. This Narrative passes pretty well amongst the shallower pates, the Chamberlain, the Tap­ster, the Hostler, and the rest of the inferior Domesticks; but our hardfaith'd young Mistress of the house, whither bit before, or naturally not over-credulous, does as good as declare, That her Principles are to look before she leaps. Our Norfolk Suitor finds his Addresses very ac­ceptable, but still with a reserve, Provided he be the Man he appears. He plainly sees, that the Girl, upon good Grounds is very pliable, but she's a little past the years of being dandled and kist out of her Reason: He or any man else (any Tooth good Barber) with Ho­nour and Estate may go far with her; but Demonstra­tion is the only Argument that must carry her Cause. As many years as she has lived (or at least past for) a Maid, she is not so hard set, but she can tarry till Sub­stantial Testimony (as far off as Norfolk lies) can make out the Lands and Tenements, before she consents to an Inclosure. Our Spark therefore put to his last Trumps, finds this last a craggier and more difficult Enterprize than any he had ever yet encountred; however, thinking it a very great scandal to his Wit, to lie down before her, and shamefully for want of Ammunition, be forced to raise the Siege, he sets all his Brains at work for one last Mine to blow her up; or if that take not, he is resolved to quit the Field. In a day or two after, he begins to be Melancholly and indisposed; during this fit, he is very cold in his Love, and applies him to Religious Books, talks much of very odd Dreams he has had, till at last he takes his Bed. Physitians are sent for, whether they found any real indications of sickness or [Page 23]no, or acquiesced to his own Declaration of the Pains he felt, no Medicinal Application was wanting. His Distemper increasing, he desires a Man of Law to be sent for, accordingly a Scrivener of the Town is called, who draws up his Will, in which he gives away about Three Thousand pounds in several Legacies, leaving his Nephew his full and sole Executor. The Will is sealed up, and delivered to his Man Tom; and all the cognizance taken of his Mistress, is only 10 l. to buy her Mourning. Next a Man of God is sent for, and all the necessary pre­parations for a Man of another World are made. His Conscience setled, and his Viaticum for his long Journey most devoutly furnisht. But it pleases Fate, or the Sick man rather, in some few days after, to give some small symptoms of amendment, and to shorten the matter, in Eight or Ten days time he is pretty well recovered, and the next talk is of fancying his own Native Norfolk Air for perfecting his Health; all this while the young Dam­fel, who, tho not call'd to the Will-making, knew all the Contents of it, and finding from all hands, the great up­rightness and devotion of her humble Servant, could not fancy that so much Religion and Piety could be an Impostor, and therefore she doubted not in the least, but the Estate in Norfolk was unquestionable; and tho in­deed her Prudence would still incline her to a full inqui­ry and satisfactory account, yet 'tis now too late, her cool­ing Admirer talks of speeding to London; and tho he pro­fesses he will leave his heart behind with her, She is a­fraid that new Faces and better Fortunes will soon shake her hold there, and therefore taking her Pillow upon the business, she resolves not to slip so favourable an oppor­tunity, but to lay hold of the serelock, and take a good offer whilst she may have it: For with all her natural Pride, she considers her self but the Lees of a Tap; and 'tis not every Rich Gudgeon will bite at a Bait so blown, and so stale.

Her departing Lover still pressing for his Journey, the good-natur'd Girl watches the next amorous sally of her Gallant, and takes him at his word, and without asking advice, thinks her own wit sufficient, and in two days time enters into for better, for worse. The Town-Bells soon rung All Joy; and the best Hogshead in Daddy's Cellar run Claret. His Honourable Guest and Son-in-Law was the little Idol of all the Virgins of the Town, and the envied preferment of sweet Mrs. Betty had fill'd all Tongues; and scarce a Prayer offered up for a Hus­band, but Mrs. Betty's felicity was made the Pattern of their Devotion.

But now, as the Devil would have it, our dignified Bride is for having her Dear Spouse, by all means, doing her and her Father the honour of staying out the whole Bathe Season (now coming on) amongst 'em, and nothing can divert her from that resolution. This is a very un­welcome proposal; for the multitude of Faces from all quarters of the Kingdom, may not only be very dan­gerous to his circumstances, but likewise his Norfolk Abi­lities, long before that time, may be examin'd too nar­rowly; and therefore not being able to make any harsh refusal of his fair Brides request, lest it should look like design, and to marry a young Girl, and be a shamed of her parentage, would appear so unkind, that he has no Ar­tifice to wean her from Bathe, and drill her out of Town, but by pretending a small relapse of his Indisposition, which he acted so well, that he denied himself the very pleasures of Love, and fell off even from Family-Duties. This Curtain-failure began to moderate her passion for staying at Bathe, for her tame Bedfellow still preaching up the virtues of his own Native Norfolk Air, his poor defeated Bride could not but have a womanly longing for so necessary a Restorative, and thereupon for so im­portant a Medicine to her feeble Yokemate, she consent­ed to go along with him.

All her fine Cloaths were Boxed up, together with se­veral Bed and Table-Linnen, &c. (for she had pretty good Moveables, all the Legacies of Deceased Aunts and Grannies, and other good Kin) and all sent by her Man Tom to the Carriers, and two days after places took in the flying Coach for their speeding to London.

But one main thing was almost forgotten. She had call'd in her Portion, which for a Guinies Gratification the Scrivener had ready at an Hours warning, having at that time some other peoples Money by him undisposed, and hers being out upon Mortgage, the Owners were very well pleas'd to make an Exchange upon the same security. This Money was not to be trusted by the Waggon, but to be carryed up with her in the Coach-box, for which her Man Tom beg'd her acceptance of a little Gilt leather'd Trunk that happen'd to be just small enough to go into the Coach-box. The Day of setting out being the Morrow, her thoughtful Spouse had nicely consider'd that the Coach would be in London half a day before the Carrier, which for some Reasons you'll find in the sequel was not altoge­ther for his convenience, and therefore he made a shift to put off the Journey till next Coach-day.

Against that time the Gilt-leather'd Trunk, and the Key to it was deliver'd her, (tho' by the by he had got two Keys) and the 80 l. some Broad pieces, a Caudle-Cup, half a dozen of Silver Spoons, and some other Toys were all stowed in it; and the Kind Couple are trundling away for London, with the Man well mounted riding by.

Now as a Man of his Estate, he had freely given her all her own Portion, a small Privy Purse to buy her Pins with, having Mirryed her only for Beauty, and much disdain­ing the addition of so small a sum to his plentiful Fortune. The first stage being done (for they had but one Night to lye by the way) the small Cabinet of Treasure was care­fully [Page 26]taken out of the Coach, and lodged in a Closet in the Chamber, and next Morning deliver'd to Tom to see safely laid in the Coach-box as before.

The next Night arriving both at London, (whither Tom about Brenford was commanded by his Master to speed a little before to prepare for their Reception) a very fair Lodging near St. James's was ready to entertain her, but no Tom had been there; and coming to open the Trunk, instead of the Gold and Silver Entrayls there was no­thing but a Bag of Stones, and a piece of a Brickbat to sup­ply their places, enclosed in a few Rags that stuft up the Trunk. This amazing sight threw the poor Lady into a most violent Distraction, and 'twas very hard to hold her from falling into a Fit, her Husband seeming as much a­mazed as her self, and joining in the complaint as loud as she. But to abate her Rage, he told her the wicked Rogue should not so scape, he had very sufficient security from a­ble Friends for his honest and faithful service, and their Purses should make her Reparation, till when the Loss should be made up out of his own Pocket. Nor would he sleep till he had made her some farther satisfaction, and therefore beg'd her Excuse but for one half Hour till he took Coach, and made that search and quest that perhaps would bring her some considerable Light into the Villany. Her Zeal for her Loss never look'd any farther, and accordingly well pleas'd with the Kind Motion, she took leave of him for the half Hour aforesaid.

But, alas, a long half Hour, for half the Evening, nay the whole Night was gone, and neither Man nor Master to be heard of. So Husband and Portion all departed, she thought fit to secure her Goods and Cloaths at the Car­riers, but the same Calamity attended there likewise, for Tom had been there too, and swept all.

To describe the Distress and Anguish of our present Fe­male Sufferer, or either of her two foregoing Sisters in Af­fliction, being a work beyond our power, we shall e'ne do as the Painter did of old, that is, draw a Vail before the Face of sorrow, the Lineaments of true Grief being above the Pen or Pencils skill.

And now to follow our Libertine through all his Ram­bles and Exploits in this wide Town of London, (for there lyes his next Scene) being matter we have not yet fully been inform'd in, we dare not venture to play the Histori­an any farther than certain Intelligence (which yet we have not received) can guide us, being resolved not to load our Rambles with Romance or Fiction, his Life be­ing furnisht with matter sufficiently voluminous without the addition of Flourish or Fancy.

Let it suffice that some time after all these three suc­cessive Adventures, the poor Ludlow VVife comes up to London, being the last place she has to make her quest af­ter this Impostor and Monster, for those are the gentlest Names her Sufferings and Resentments can give him. She has a great Opinion that Newgate or Newgate Roll, or some other such Chronicles of his Renown will give her some light into his Life and Fortune, and perhaps the Ju­stice of Heaven afford her a sight of him at least, if not a power to execute Heavens and her just Vengeance on so egregious a Reprobate.

Her Inn being at Holborn Bridge, she lights into the Company of a good Motherly VVoman just come from Oxfordshire; the sorrow in so young a Face, and the swoln Eyes which were not yet dryed, the Fountain being in­deed inexhaustible, the Curiosity of the Elder Traveller made bold to ask her the cause of so doleful a look, &c. The young one (who now had no Reserves) plainly told her whole sufferings, to which the Matron replyed, Alas [Page 28]young VVoman, what are your griefs to mine? I have been many years the VVife of the most Infamous Mis­creant that the Earth ever bore; deserted and abandoned by the wickedest of Men, after long years of Honest and Loyal Fidelity to his Bed, and exposed to perish (which you, thanks to able Friends, need not fear) &c. with a great deal more bitter Invectives against him. Till at last upon further conferring of Notes, and describing of Characters and Persons they came to jump together, and found 'em­selves both abused by the very same Monster, the eldest being indeed his old Banbury Wife. What Amazement this Accident produced may easily be conjectured, it will be enough to tell you that the Anguish of both their Souls, and the Bitterness of Gall on each side made 'em Swear an inviolable Friendship, determining to search (if possible) the whole World, to hunt down this Devil. Accordingly they take a Lodging a little higher in Holborn, where making no secret of both their hard cases, they open their whole Souls to their new Landlady to engage her assist­ance in the Quarrel. The Landlady Transported at both their Narrations fell upon her Knees, and blest God he had sent 'em to her House, for this Lucifer they had de­scribed, was certainly the very Man that next Week was to Marry her Daughter. This surprize put 'em all into new Confusion, and the Daughter being called to the Council, it was evident that this very Fellow had made Love to the Daughter of the House, the day of Marriage concluded, the Ring and Wedding Cloaths preparing, &c. This last Deliverance made the poor old Woman, and the Daughter no less, melt into Tears at this happy Disco­very.

Well, 'tis agreed between 'em all, that they shall not stir till he comes thither, which will be in twenty four Hours at most; and all their united Vengeance, Consta­bles, [Page 29]Warrants, and what not, shall be prepar'd for his Re­ception.

This Resolution was heartily fix'd amongst 'em; only the Banbury Wife would that Evening take a walk to a Cozens, a Citizen, where she had some important Affairs, but nothing should stay her abroad above an Hour; she had not walk'd half a Furlong but Destiny or some other ruling Power threw her full in the Mouth of her Husband; her Passion at sight of him rose so high, that at first it could not find vent for words, which he perceiving desired her to walk into a Tavern which was just before 'em, and there recover her Confusion. You may con­ceive she was very ready to accept the Invitation, her Stomach being so full, that 'twas the only thing she wanted to have her full swing at him. The Discourse of her part you may well guess at; but his Answer was so tender, and his Confession so open, that at last she grew patient enough to hear him out. He plainly told her all he had done, or at least the greatest part: that it was only the Effects of his Wants and Necessities, that now he had rais'd enough to re-establish him in the World, that the Hony Moon of Love had been almost over between them, and that if he had made any Lapse in Disloyalty to her Marriage Right, it was not Infidelity but Interest that had en­forced him to all. And so showing her handfuls of Gold and Silver, he humbly intreated a Reconciliation betwixt 'em. Which good Words and Address at last so perfectedly obtain­ed, that he perswaded her to send for all her Houshold Goods, and to live with him somewhere in the Liberties of Westminster, where disguising his Name, and amending his Faults, he doubted not through his practice to recover a plentiful Being, and maintain her like a Woman.

The poor Creature absolutely mollified, promises Fidelity to him, and never returning to her new Lodgings, takes him along with her, defeating the whole Vengeance that was hatch­ing against him, and not stirring from him till all her Goods were come up from Banbury, and a new House furnisht with 'em. She had not lived there three days, till finding a Gossip­ing Errand for her to keep her from home a whole day, at her Return at Night to Bed, she finds neither Husband nor Goods, Bed to lye, or Stool to sit upon; the whole House being ut­terly [Page 30]dismantled, and nothing but nakedness and empty Walls to receive her.

This last Cruelty of her Barbarian made her almost run stark Mad, and returning to her Holborn Lodging to own her frailty in believing an Infidel, and the Just Judgment that had befaln her upon it, she found the poor Ludlow Mourner departed, and all her Relief left was to return to Banbury to live upon the Alms of the Parish.

This Libertine Life of our Renegade did not long continue till found at last by the Ludlow Wife he was thrown into Wor­cester Jail; from thence by Habeas Corpus (at the Charge of a Parson in Southwark whose Daughter he had likewise Married) removed to Newgate, & upon an Indictment of six Wives appear­ing against him, being then Tryed by the Name of Morrel alias Bowyer (a Name of a Worthy Person of Quality, for perso­nating of whom he had stood in the Pillory) he pleaded Guil­ty to those six and twelve more, and thereby received only the punishment of a Squeeze in the Fist.

After this Escape of a Halter, what his following Adven­tures have been we are not informed: 'tis to be believed his Will was no ways wanting, though his power of managing such hardy Exploits might undoubtedly be a little retrencht: and therefore we have reason to conclude he fell into smaller Games, in which his Walks have lain something more obscure, and thereupon by reason of our unacquaintance with the Truth of that part of his Life, we shall over-leap some years, and bring him to his Conclusion.

Some few days before Christmas be came to one Mr. Cullens a Baker in the Strand to seek him a Lodging, his Habit but in­different, and his Stock not above Two Shillings, pretending himself to be a Person of Worth and Honour, viz. Humphrey Wickham of Swaclift in the County of Oxon Esq; a Person whose Name and Reputation was well known to Mrs. Cullen, being Born not far from him, which contributed much to the swal­lowing of the Imposture. His pretence for leaving his Family in the Countrey, and living here Incognito was occasion'd (he said) to avoid the payment of 500 l. which he stood engaged for, and for which the principal had left him in the lurch; and which he had made a rash Vow he would not pay.

Mr. Cullen's Family thus imposed upon supplied all his wants, and paid him the due Respects to the Quality he Personated, till falling sick, on the 28th of December he made a Will, as follows.

This stupendious confidence of a dying man is very amazing, nay he drove on the Masquerade at that strange rate, that he may be truly said to have ended as he began, having received the blessed Sacrament, pretended the settlement of his Conscience, and making peace with Heaven with that seeming sincerity, as if he [Page 35]had resolved to prevaricate with God with the same assurance he had all along done with Mankind. The credulity of these deluded persons his Landlord, and the rest, is not much to be wonder'd at, when the last Gasps of Death could carry so fair an Hypocrisie, and their Transports for his extravagant Legacies bequeathed 'em are rather to be pittied then rediculed. And if they have been faulty in any little over-fondness of their imaginary good fortune, the Jests and Gibes they have received, have been their sufficient punishment; besides Mr. Cullin's being run out of above 30 l.

After his Death care was taken to provide him a Coffin of about 10 l. value, and the Embalmers were paid for some of their Office of preserving him sweet, till pre­parations for a solemn and sumptuous Funeral could be made, suitable to the re­mains of the honourable Deceased. And this Letter was sent as follows.