HELL REFORMED.

THough Hell bee the e­ternall Mansion of de­spaire and confusion, neverthelesse, there hapned lately such a horrible noyse, and so extraordinary and dreadfull a disorder there, that the most Ancient inhabitants of that place, acknowledging that they had never seene the like, thought that their Common-wealth was going to bee destroyed and overthrowne up-side downe. They knew not one another: the Divels believed they were the [Page 2] Damned, and the Damned, the Devils: some usurped the tor­ments belonging to others, and did runne here and there, pell mell, as if they had beene fran­ticke: to be short, 'twas a gene­rall revolt, all was in division and quarell. It was a good while before it could be guest who had stir'd this tempest: but at last 'twas found out,Secret Ac­cuser. Suborner. that a Secret Ac­cuser, a Suborner, and aIt signifies an aged widdow which serves in great hou­ses, as those who are called Go­vernesses. Doüegna had caused it, who had found the invention to breake loose from their fetters. Consider a little I pray, Reader, of what kind of spirit could those three be, since they were able to aug­ment Confusion and Trouble in Hell.

Lucifer roaring like one Pos­sessed, cryed out, that Chaines, Fet­ters, and Manicles should bee brought, and did runne every where, to quarter againe every one in his Denne, when he dash't [Page 3]against the Secret Accuser, and having both stayed a moment, to face one another, the Secret Ac­cuser tooke the word: My Prince, said he, I give you intelligence that there are Slothfull Divels in your Empire, who remaine with their armes and legges a crosse, as being lazy and sluggish, unwil­ling to doe any thing: and also, that many of those, which you have sent in the world, doe not come backe, to give an account of their Commissions, although the time of them bee expired. And the Doüegna, which went kind­ling discord, from eare to eare, comming by chance to passe, that way, stop'd: Looke to your selfe, said she, to Lucifer, ther's a great conspiracy to dispossesse you of your Diabolicall Scepter: Here are two Tyrants who come,Tyrants. three Flatterers, many Physitians, Flatterers. Physitians. Lawyers. Advocats. and a great number of men of learning, as Lawyers and Advocates: and [Page 4]further I give you notice, said she, in his eare, that amongst all those, there is a certaine man, who is a halfe-Hermit, Halfe-Hermit, or Hypocrite. which doth affirme you shall not want worke.

At this word of Halfe-Hermit, Lucifer lost his colour, and remai­ning immoveable as a statue, te­stified a great feare he had to lose his Scepter: and having stood a while without speech, staring as if hee had beene mad: A Halfe-Hermit, doe you say; Phisitians, Advocats, and Tyrants? ther's a Confection, so poisonous and venomous, that onely an ounce thereof, would be able to burst the Belly, and cast out all the tripes of Hell. And as he was go­ing to make a review, in the ave­newes and frontiers of his King­dome, hee saw theOr Busie­body. Suborner comming, who seemed to be full of imployment. I needed but this encounter, said hee, to portend [Page 5]misfortune. Well, what's the matter? And then the Suborner, with a thousand inventions, de­vices, false tales, vaine trifles, toyes and fables, told him there were many who plotted to fly from Hell, and others also who would introduce Vsurers and Hy­pocrites,Vsurers. Hypocrites. by meanes of which, the World tooke a familiar accesse with the Devils: and told him besides many other tales, so full of deceits, and with such Moun­tebank-like flatteries, that hee had beene dizied with them, if hee would have held him chat. Lucifer seeing the strange tumult in his Dominion, Lucifer. and having in­telligence of the danger which threatned him, followed his de­signe of making a generall Re­view, and that with his Guard, and ordinary Traine.

Then, hee begins the Visit of his lurking and secret Holds, Dennes and Dungeons of his Pri­soners [Page 6]and Jailors.Secret Accuser. The Secret Accuser, kindler of dissentions, went fore-most venting and blowing a certaine kinde of aire which did put the brands toge­ther and inflame them onely, without producing light; The Doüegna followed next,Doüegna. sowing tares of discord every where. The Cunning Suborner came af­ter,Suborner. learing with the corner of his eye on every side, not turning his head, and passed not before any of the Ghosts, but he made a cringe, or some other gesture fai­ning some good will. To the one he made a courtesie, he kissed the others hands: unto this, he said, I am your servant; unto that, make use of mee. But at every word of his Complements, the poore Ghosts cried out, Alas! but much more outragiously then at those flashes of flames which tor­mented them. Oh traitor! said one: Oh the fire is much more plea­sant! [Page 7]said the other. Ther's the re­doubling of our paine! said this. Ther's the accumulating of our tor­ments! said that.

Amongst a great Rascally Company, and in an eminent place, there was a Notorious False witnesse, False witnes who as most ex­pert in that profession, made a lecture of lying, to that Wor­shipfull company, which was about him: hee made them sweare, that they had seene those things, which were un­knowne unto them. And when that Doctor perceaved the Subor­ner: What? said he, much frigh­ted, is that Devill in this Countrey: But how? I made choice to come to Hell, rather then to be in any place where I might see him: assuredly, If I had thought that he had beene to come hither, it had beene enough, not onely to have procured my salvation, but also to have gone some whither [Page 8]where else I could never have entred.

Thereupon, wee heard a great noise of Voices, Armes, Blowes, and Cryes intermix't with Reproaches and Complaints. They tooke hold one of another, and did strike and fulminate each other, with their owne persons, but with such cruelty, that 'tis impossible to represent so furious a battle. Amongst all those, was one who seemed to be an Emperour, for he had a Crowne of Lawrell on his Head, and was invironed with Counsellors, who with their tongues whetted with the Text of Lawes and statutes, endeavo­red to defend themselves, from the enraged fury and choler, whereof this Emperour tormented them. Lucifer drew neere him, and with a thunder-like voice, which caused all Hell to tremble: Who art thou (said he) Ghost, who art here so lofty and stately? [Page 9]I am (answered he) Great Iulius Cesar who in the generall sedition of your Realme, Complaint and revenge of Caesar against Brutus and Cassius. came upon Bru­tus and Cassius, to take Revenge of the bloody outrage, which they did, when they tooke away my life, under pretext of the liberty of the Countrey, though it was but to quench their particu­lar envy and covetousnes.Nota. Rebels against their Prince. Those infamous Villaines hated not the Empire; but onely the Emperour: they murthred me, because I had establish't the Monarchy: but yet they abolish't it not, contrariwise, they, sooner and with more ease, made sure the preservation there­of: they did more harme taking away my life, then I did when I tooke away from the Senators, the Governement of the Common-wealth, since, I died Emperour, and my Homicides procured to them­selves, the Title of Traytors du­ring their life: I was adored of the people, and they punish't for kil­ling [Page 10]of me. Cursed blood-shedders! said that Great Ghost of Iulius Cae­sar, turning towards them, was the Government of the Common-wealth better in the Hands of Senators, who could not keepe it, then under the conduct of a War­riour who purchass't it by his me­rit? He that is experienced in ca­villing, and learned in forging of a False accusation, is he worthier of a Crowne, then a great Captaine, who fils his Countrey with Glory, and gives Terror to his enemies? He that knowes the lawes, is he fitter for an Empire, then he who maintaines them? No, No, 'tis unto this, to establish them, and to the others to study'em. Poore Romane Common-wealth! calls thou Liberty; the obeying to the dis­cord of Many: and Bondage; to respect the Power and Might onely of One? Many men full of Covetousnesse and Ambition ought they to be called The Fa­thers [Page 11] of their Countrey,Patres Pa­triae. and the generosity of One held for Ty­ranny? Oh how much more glo­rious had it beene for the Romans to have maintained a Sonne, who made Rome Mistris of the World, then Fathers who by an infinite number of Civill warres, made her the Stepmother of her owne Children. Ye barbarous and cruell, consider a little what was the Government of the Senators; since, the people having tasted of the Monarchy; had rather be com­manded by Nero, Tiberius, Caligula, and Heliogabalus, then by Lawes and Senators.

Then Brutus, with a trembling voice, and a face covered with shame began to say, crying out: Oh Senators! Senators. doe you not under­stand Caesar? doe you adde a new crime, to that which you have heretofore done? and ha­ving beene the Authors of the Par­ricide, doe you suffer him who [Page 12]believed you, to be thus accused? Speake, answer, Counsellors: Caesar speakes to you as well as to me: you were so cunning in your per­swasions, that Cassius and I were the traitorous executioners, ta­king no regard to your unsatia­ble Ambition, and not observing that your Gravity, your beards and long gownes will alwaies assume command, draw obedi­ence unto them, and put all the danger upon the Prince. In effect, you do so exalt your Offices, and authorise your vanity so power­fully, that it is more dangerous for the Monarke not to obey you, then to the Subject to disobey the Monarke. To what tended the execution of your perfidiousnesse and treason? Answer to Caesar; for as for our parts, wee are cha­stised by our infamy and confu­sion.

At these words, one of the Se­nators who was all covered with [Page 13]burning coales, rose up,Iustification of a Senator against Cae­sar. & with a severe brow, grimme behaviour, and feeble voice: Prince, said he to Caesar, whereat dost thou com­plaine, if for thy sake Ptolomey, who was King, killed Great Pom­pey so cowardly, of whom he held the Kingdome which he pos­sessed; what outrage and what trespasse did the Connsellors com­mit to kill thee, to recover those Kingdomes that thou hadst ra­vish't unto us? Is't an action of impiety to acquit thee towards Pompey? Let the Devills be the Iudges. Achilles, Achilles. who was one of that Valiant Warriours murthe­rers, and who brought to passe the execution thereof, by Ptolo­meys command, was but a Rob­ber who lived but with his tres­passes, but thou wert farre more infamous then hee: seing Pompeys Head, thou weptst, but thy teares were more traitorous, then the weapon which murthered him: [Page 14]'twas a compassion accompanied with cruelty; thy pitty was re­venge, and thou wert more arro­gant looking on him being dead, then thou wert in the conflicts which thou hadst against him during his life.

How can it be possible, that hypocriticall eyes could finde place in the first Head of the world? It cannot bee denied, but that taking away thy life we gave it againe to our Common-wealth. It was neither we, nor the people who called Nero to the Empire, but he was borne out of thy blood: thy Head being cut off, was the Hydra of the Em­pire; whence twelve more came forth.

They had begun their first skirmish againe thereupon, if Lucifer had not with an absolute power, commanded unto Caesar, to reenter in the paine and pu­nishments of his presumption, [Page 15]which caused him to despise the advices, that were given him tou­ching his disaster: and to Brutus & Cassius, to be for ever the scandall and reproach of Politicke Soules. The Senators were sent with Minos and Rhadamantus, to be the Devills Associates.

That done, there was a great rumour of Voyces heard which were something remote, as if many being in choler had disputed together: some moderate replies were also heard, mixed with re­proches and outrages, there were some so transported with fury, that words and blowes went together, and the more the Visit came neere, the more the noise redoubled: which was the cause, that they ad­vanced with speed, but notwith­standing all the diligence which was made before the Visit came to them, they were found already ingaged in a bloody Combat. The Persons were of different [Page 16]qualities, but neverthelesse of the best ranke, for there were Em­perours, Emperors. Magistrates Generals of Armies. Magistrates, and Generals of Armies: The Imperious voice of the Prince of Darknesse, causes a truce of their debates, and all tur­ned towards him, testifying they suffered a cruell torture in the stopping of the execution of their hatred and revenge. The first who tooke the word, was a man remarkeable by many great wounds, who raising his voice: I am,Clitus. said hee, Clitus: Hold thy peace, said another, who was be­side him, dares thou speake afore me? Prince of the Devills, said he, harken unto Alexander sonne of Iupiter, Alexanders contestation against Cli­tus his Fa­vorite. Lord of the Worlds, the ter­ror of Nations, the Most Great Em­peror. He was going to make an Iliad of Titles, Qualities, and Lordships after the Spanish fa­shion, if the Attorney Generall had not impoled Him silence: Speake, said He, to Clitus, and he, who [Page 17]had a great desire thereof, said thus:

Lucifer, I was the first of this Emperours Favorits, who was Lord of all the knowne Land, who bore the title of King of Kings, who said himselfe to be the Son of Iupiter Ammon, and neverthe­lesse though hee commanded to so many Worlds, his naturall pas­sions (which may serve for an example to take away humane presumption) had a great Domi­nion over him: Cruelty made him exceeding rash, and uncapeable to receive the wholesome Coun­sels of his trusty servants. I was during my life, of the most sin­cere amongst those; but it was not so much my diligent obedi­ence that procured me the name of Favorite, Favorite. as the opinion he had that I should increase the number of his Flatterers: but I had too much integrity in my soule, to be partaker of his follies, the sorrow [Page 18]I had of his defects, imboldned me to try if I could represse them gently. One day seeing him speake with contempt, of the glorious exploits of Philip his Fa­ther, and blacke the splendor of the generosity of a Prince, which had given him the being, and who had taken such a care for his education: I shewed him his ingratitude, I told him of the abuse of that imaginary Divinity whereof his Flatterers cogg'd with him, and speaking with all man­ner of freedome unto him, I represented unto him that hee should not thus wither & snatch his Fathers Palmes from him. But see a little to what degree of fel­lony, this Prince was transported, since at the rehearsall of his Fa­thers praises, and his magnani­mous acts, hee did rise with chol­ler, and slew me with his owne hand. After that, shew me where was his Divinity. When hee [Page 19]gave the Kingdome of Sidonia to Abdolominus who then was a Clenser of Iakes, 'twas not, as it was believed to honour the Vertue of that Captaine, but shamefully to take downe the Pride, and af­front the Great ones of Persia, after the death of Darius. And having found him here, I have asked him, in what place Iupiter his Fa­ther had forsaken him, and what offence hee had committed to­wards him to cast him into Hell, and if he was not disabused from his Flatterers, who adored and offered unto him incense, making him believe, that he was Sonne to the Greatest of the Gods, and that in a direct line, he was the onely heire of Thunder, and of the Ce­lestiall Throne of Iupiter: 'twas therefore that we were fallen to­gether by the eares, when you arrived. But leaving aside these invectives judge I pray you, if it was not the action of a Tyrant, to [Page 20]make it a trespasse worthy of death, the recitall of his Fathers vertues & magnanimities? What barbarous cruelty used hee not towards Parmenio, Parmenio. Philotas. Calisthenes. Philotas, His Sonne, and Calisthenes who was also one of his Favorits, yea to­wards Aminta his Cosen,Aminta. his Mother in Law, and his Brother? Oh Lucifer! you see that ther's no necessity, to be Good, or Wic­ked, to make a criminall, but only to bee Favorite to a Tyrant, and that it is as in the course of life, wherein every one dyes because he is Mortall, and not by reason of the sicknesse, for it serues, but as a pretext to Death.

Then now thou knowest, said Sathan, Tyrants. that Tyrants know how to give the foile, to cause those whom they please to stumble and fall downe: for they hate all, the vertuous; because, he is not wicked; and the wicked, for very spite that he is not worse. What [Page 21] Favorits have they made, which they have not throwen downe headlong? Doest not thou re­member the embleme of the Spunge? Now learne that all Favo­rits are the Princes Spunges, Favorits. they let them drinke in and suck all their full, and afterwards they crush them, and get out the sub­stance for their profit.

As he ended this last word, there was a Lamentable outcry of many people heard, and at the same time, a Grave Old man, of as pale a colour as if he had had no blood in his veines, who drew neere unto Lucifer: It seemes, said he, that the Similitude of the Spunge whereof you speake, is made for me, by reason of the great treasures which I have pos­sessed. I am that renouned Seneca, A Complaint of Seneca, against Nero a Spaniard by Nation, Neros Tutor and Favorite. He exercised the excesse of his liberalities upon me: he gave me without asking; [Page 22]I was never Covetous, but only Obedient. 'Tis ordinarily a Prin­ces delight, to shew himselfe libe­rall towards a Favorite, and to heape honors and goods upon him, and whosoever would re­fuse, and not accept them, untill he had deserved them, he should offend his Prince, and it would seeme that the Subject, would rather have his Modesty and Temperance to be admired, then the Magnanimity of the Master who gives. Insomuch that the most devout hommage, that a Vassall can doe to his Lord, 'tis to contribute, as much as in him lyes, to the Glory, and splendor of his Vertue. Nero gave me all what could bee given by such a Prince as hee was; But notwith­standing all the Modesty and dis­creet carriage that I could use in the enjoying of such Gratificati­ons: Yet the Fosterers of Envy did murmure, and invented false Ac­cusations [Page 23]and detractions against me, publishing that I perswaded the contempt of riches to others, to the end, that the hunger of my unsatiable Covetousnesse, should have fewer Competitors: And seeing that by little and little the Vigour of my good reputation and prosperity did diminish, I tooke a resolution to put my Soule out of trouble, and to be no more the Object of the hatred of so many. I went to Nero, and resto­red unto him, all what hee had given me, with all the duty and respect that I could testifie. I had such a passion to love and serve him, that the threats of his (to be redoubted) humor whereat some would terrifie me; never tooke away my boldnesse to exhort him to vertue; nor his unruly acti­ons, hindred me not from making those remonstrances unto him to which my loyalty obliged mee: And when hee caused murthers [Page 24]and homicides to be committed, 'twas then, that with more vehe­mency, I represented unto him the wounds which he made to his Conscience. He caused his Mother to be slaine: he fired Rome, and reduced it to ashes, hee did depo­pulate the whole Empire of Ho­nest People,Piso. whence Piso's con­spiracy followed: which was very well propounded, but very ill executed: for, having beene discovered, those who were to execute it, were put to Death. Those are accidents of the Divine Providence, thus to preserve the life of a Prince, from those abo­minable accidents, to the end they may know themselves and amend their lives: But what? Nero could prevent this conspiracy, and neverthelesse hee amended not his defects, nor left his vices: at the same time, hee tooke away Lucanus his life,Lucanus. because hee was a better Poet then he. And if he [Page 25]gave mee the choice, of what kinde of Death I would die, 'twas not by any feeling of Pitty, but rather of Cruelty: he intended to give mee many Deaths in lieu of one, for the paine of death was reiterated during the time of the choyce which I was to make; besides, he propounded to him­selfe, that suffering effectually that whereof I was to make choice, so also I should suffer all the rest in the Terror and Feare which made mee to refuse them: I put my selfe in a Bath, and cau­sing my Veines to be cut, I made expedition of my owne dispat­ches my selfe, to come hither with speed; where, to augment my mis-fortunes, I have found this infamous Prince, exercising yet his Cruelties, and teaching unto the Devils new torments a­against the Poore Ghosts.

Then Nero advances,Nero's re­plies against Seneca. and with a sterne Visage and shrill Voice, [Page 26]It is needfull, said he, that the Favorit and Tutor, should have more learning then the Prince, but also it is requisite, that he should governe himselfe with re­spect; for to become presumptu­ous, because he hath some ad­vantage of doctrine above him, it is a Crime; and therefore the Subject that will make it appeare, that he is abler then his Sove­raigne, and that he knowes more then he, ought to be punished as being Presumptuous and Inso­lent. Seneca, whilst thou didst teach me, I preferred thee to all those which were about me, and the esteeme that I made of thy Wisedome was one of the prin­cipall praises of my Raigne: But assoone as thou wouldst have all men to know, that thou wert more expert and better able then I, (a thing which thou shouldst have dissembled more Iudici­ally,) thou madest me a Generall [Page 27]scandall through-out all the World: and from that time, my hatred and Indignation began to kindle against thee: That was so displeasing unto me, that I had rather a thousand times, suffer the torments which are here: then to see a Favorit beside me who should make Glory of my shame, and get Honour, out of my Contempt. I call to witnesse all these Princes who are heere: Speake; Kings, draw neere: Say, have you suffered your Favorits to become so presumptuous, as to make it appeare that the capa­city of their understanding did exceed yours, without correcting them for their Temerity? No, no, answered they all with one voyce, it shall never be indured, as long as the World will be a World; our Successors have promised unto us, to remedy that disorder. It is true, that as long as the Favorite is wise and [Page 28]skilfull, and can perswade unto the people, that the Prince doth possesse the Talent of governing discreetly, and that he workes by himselfe, he ought to be Main­tained, Honoured and Esteemed by his Master: But at that instant, that Vanity, will lead him, to cause the contrary to be knowne; Farewell all Privacy, he deserves to be degraded.

That Decree hath no relation to me,Complaint of Sejanus against Tiberius. then said Sejanus, though I had a better Wit then Tiberius, for I carried my selfe with so much Industry, that all was pub­lish'd as done and ordained by his owne Judgement. Therefore he acknowledged to be so much obliged, to my good services, that he made me Peere and Co-partner of his Empire, and erected Statues, to which he granted Sacred Pri­viledges. My Name was the ac­clamation of the Roman People, my Felicity, the Mirth and Joy of [Page 29]the Empire, and all Nations made common Vowes and Prayers for the preservation of my Health. But when I believed, that I was the Favorit who had the greatest share in his Lords affections, Tibe­rius caused me to be taken, and to be torne in pieces, and for­sooke me to the Rage and Fury of the mutineer'd people, who held it for an Honour, to carry away a piece of my flesh, upon the point of their Javelins, they dragd me along the streets: Yet their incom parable Cruelty went beyond the Bounds of my Sepul­cher: it went to my Children, and caused them to die ignomi­niously; and a Daughter that I had which by reason of the priviledge of Virginity could not bee put to death, by Iustice, was barbarously condemned first to be ravished by the Hang-man, (Oh prodigious!) and then to be beheaded, as it was executed. It [Page 30]is true that my ruine began the very day that I would prevent the Destinies, oppose my selfe to the Power of Fortune, and despise Heavenly Providence. Then, more Sacrilegious then Wise, I endeavo­red to fortifie my selfe, against the craft of men, causing some to be put to death, and others ba­nished, Insomuch that I caused Heaven to declare it selfe my Enemy. Not contented with that, I tooke accesse with the Wicked, I made use of the Physitian for Poisons, of the Bloody for Re­venge, of False Witnesses, of Ʋnjust and Corrupted Magistrates. But neverthelesse, I might say, that those outrages, were not com­mitted according to my owne will, but by vertue of the necessity wherein I was raised, and as I propounded unto my selfe, that in my fall and undoing, I should be forsaken of the Vertuous, and and also of the Wicked, I made [Page 31]use of these as of people fit for my ends, and I fled from the righteous as from my accusers: Neverthelesse even such as I was, if Tiberius hath exercised tyran­ny, it hath not beene through my counsels, I never induced him to it, much lesse (approving of him, as a Flatterer) I have left the effects much more cruell, then the condemned have done by the torments of imprisonment and tortures: and if I am accused to have persuaded him to cruelty, to alienate from him the affecti­ons of the people, and raise my fortune, who shall be named for the author, of that which he vsed towards me? O Lucifer, you must know that Tyrants do discharge themselves of the faults which they commit, upon those which they have imployed in such acti­ons, for they do expose and sacri­fice us very freely to death, for to satisfie the peoples outrage [Page 32]when they murmure against them, and by that meanes wee suffer the paine for their faults. The Histories which recite our disgraces, make alwayes vse of these words: Ther's the ordinary end of those who approach too neere the Princes favours: inso­much that in every Chronicle, our misfortune serves as an adver­tisement for an ill passage. The exalting of a Favorit testifies also the greatnesse of the Prince which doth it; to maintaine him neere him, and in his Honours, It is so much the more to make his good Judgement to appeare in the Choice which hee hath made: contrarywise when hee destroyes him, 'tis to shew the lightnesse and inconstancy of his Spirit, and to side with his Adversaries.

At the same time Plantianus, A Complaint of Plantianus Severus his Favorit. Severus his Favorit approached, whō he had caused to be throwne out of a Window to bee a spe­ctacle [Page 33]unto the people. During my life, said hee, I might well have beene compared to a Fiery Racket, which in an instant was elevated in the aire, faire, flaming and cracking: Whiles I held the first ranke, I spark led like a Starre in the eyes of the World, but that lasted very little, I fell presently to the ground, and was converted into smoake and ashes.

After this many other Favorits appeared in a Troope,Princes Fa­vorites. namely Faustus Favorite unto Pirrhus King of the Epirotes; Pyrenus and Cle­ander, Commodus his Favorites; Cincinatus, Favorite unto Britilus, Emperour; Rusfus, unto Domitian, and Ampronisius, that of Adrian, who were all attentive, to the trembling and complayning voice of Belizarius, Iuslinians Favorite, who being blind as he was, had already strooke twice with his staffe, and shak'd his head, shewing that he demanded [Page 34]audience: and when silence was made, he said thus:

It is much more shame for you,Complaint of Bellizarius Iustinians Favorite. ye Princes; to be the executio­ners of those whom you have promoted, then unto us Favorites to undergoe the cruell effects of your inconstancy. For my part, I served a Wise Prince, and Just, who taught the meanes to ad­minister Justice: and though he was bound to my Valour, for the Greatnesse of his Empire, his Vi­ctories and Triumphs; he caused my eyes to be pluck'd out, and left me forsaken in an extreame misery, even to be reduced to beg my bread in the corner of the Streets. And this name of Beli­zarius, which was wont to be proferred for the animating of the Squadrons, and to fright the Enemies; this name, I say, where­of the sound and power was worth an Army, hath seene him­selfe encamp'd upon the pave­ment, [Page 35]and from doore to doore begging almes, not knowing of whom.

The Favor of Princes is like Quick-silver, it cannot stay, 'tis in a perpetuall motion, it flies away betwixt your fingers: if you will force it, 'twill convert into vapor: when one would make it more sublime, it becomes more vene­mous, if you handle it, it pene­trates to the very bones: he that communicates often with it, and who workes to get it, remaines all his life trembling untill death.

As he ended these words, a great cry was heard of fright­full Groanes, and of Helas, pro­nounced by all those who had any feeling of the Quick-silver of Favour, which began all to trem­ble as Aspin leaves, and at that instant a Spirit spake these words of the Prophet Habakkuk, Prophet Habakkuk. speaking to those Princes who are negli­gent of their duty.

Wherefore lookest thou upon them that deale treacherously, Cap. 1. v. 13. and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devou­reth the man that is more righteous then h [...]?

And makest men as the fishes of the Sea, verse 14. as the creeping things that have no ruler over them.

Therefore the Law is slacked, verse 4. and judgement doth never goe forth: for the wicked doth compasse about the righteous: therefore wrong judge­ment proceedeth.

For the stone shall cry out of the wall, Cap. 2. v. 11. and the beame out of the timber shall answer it.

Whereby is meant, that vnsensible things shal reproach you; I have made you a recitall of the Prophets threats, (said the Spirit continew­ing) to make you consider that God makes not so much esteeme of you Great ones, that he puts alwayes the chastisements of your errors in the hands of the other Princes and Potentates of the earth, or to prodi­gious [Page 37]successes, or to forces exceeding yours; but to the most abject, vile, base; and to be despised. Admire a little, of what Ministers God makes vse of, to revenge your outrages, va­nities, and pride, he causes vnsensible stones to speake, walls and rotten wood from betwixt the joints of the edifices. When God will, worm­eaten wood, the least insects, little wormes, flies, and lice, are the Offi­cers of his dreadfull Iustice.

He had hardly ended his last word, when they were faine to run, to know whence proceeded another great noise of Cryes and Confused Voices, which besotted all the Auditors: and as they came neere, they saw that 'twas the Armes and Sciences who fought together, There were persons of eminent quality, and neverthe­lesse of different conditions and divers ages. Some strucke with Swords, others defended them­selves with great Bookes, where­of [Page 38]they made use, sometimes of Offensive, and sometimes of De­fensive Armes: that's to say; put­ting of them before their brest in stead of Targets or Plastrons, then striking with them furious blowes upon their adversaries eares. Soft, Soft (said one of Luci­fers followers) beare respect to the Prince of Darknesse. Presently the blowes were suspended on either side: and then one of the Com­batants began to say: If you knew the reason wee have to avenge ourselves, it may be you should be of our side. At that instant appeared Domitianus, Commodus, Caracalla, Phalaris, Heliogabalus, Alcetus, Andronicus, Busiris, and many other Great Personages. Lucifer seeing such a Majesticall Company, disposed himselfe to give them all manner of satis­faction which they could desire, when a Grave Old man advanced himselfe, followed by many [Page 39]others, who having beene mis­used by those Princes and having had the worst, had all their faces bloody.

I am Solon, said that Old man, Solons Complaint against Tyrants. and those are the seven Wise men of Greece, so much renowned throughout all the World. That same which the Tyrant Nicocreon beats, (as you see,) in a morter, is the Philosopher Anaxarchus: That little crooked is that excellent wit which the world knew hereto­fore under the name of Aristotle: that flat nose, is the wise Socrates; that other Old man is the Divine Plato: and those others hid in a corner, are many other men of our profession, who have made the same workes, of which these Princes being offended, take a cruell vengeance on us. And to informe you of the businesse, you must know (Prince Lucifer) that we are the composers of Politicke Bookes, and Lawes of the good [Page 40]Government of States and Em­pires: whereby we have taught unto Princes the Method which they ought to observe to rule their people and to be beloved of them: how Iustice ought to be held in reverence and administred, Generous Warriers recompenced, use to be made of Learned Men, to banish Flatterers, to have Magi­strates Prudent and full of Inte­grity; correct and reward accor­ding to the occurences, that they were Ioves Stewards on earth, and that they represented The Gods. Ther's the onely object of the outrages, which they doe unto us, though wee name them not, and had no designe to offend thē, but rather to be as a Guide unto them in the way of Vertue and of Heaven. Oh wicked Princes! said he turning towards them: those glorious Kings and Emperors, upon whom wee tooke the mo­dell, to forme our Lawes and [Page 41]Instructions, have now a farre better habitation then you.Numa. Tarquin. Augustus. Sardinapa­pulus. Trajan. Nero. Dionysius his Reply. Numa is a sparckling starre, and Tarquin a smoaking Fire-brand: & Augu­stus hath left a farre more Glori­ous memory, then Sardanapalus; and Traian, then Nero.

Then Dionysius the Tyrant, ac­companied with many of the same profession, began to cry out: thou lyest, infamous Philosopher, 'tis quite contrary that you Law­givers have done us any service, you are rather the cause of our reproaches, of our dishonour, and of the cruell deaths whereby we have beene cut off: having lyed in your writings, spoken of things whereof you had no knowledge, and given precepts, of those of which you were ignorant, we have beene persecuted during our life, and defamed after death.

How, my Prince (said Iulian the Apostata, Iulians Re­ply. looking upon Sa­than) 'tis very likely, that these [Page 42]Schoole-masters of base extracti­on, who are despised and mocked of the world, by reason of their sluttish and slovenly kinde of li­ving, cloathes, and grim lookes, who make a merit of a beggerly life, and a constancy of the scorne of others: who have neither Theory nor Practicke of those Sciences they treat of, not know­ing what Dominion and Raigne is; yet busie themselves to pre­scribe Precepts unto Kings, and shew them the waies how to go­verne their Kingdomes according to their fancy and fantasticall opinions, which they believe to be the Props of Crownes.

To your judgement, could all Hell give a greater torment and a more odious mortification unto wordly greatnesse, then to oblige it, to suffer, that one of those base fellowes, scratching his head, and with a face covered with a bushy Beard, his eyes sunke as farre as [Page 43]the backe-side of his scull, with an unpleasant kinde of speech, shall say, that the Prince which takes care onely for himselfe, is a Tyrant, and that he who onely thinkes to be the preservation of his people, is a true King? Oh! ignorant, how rash and unadvi­sed art thou? draw neere, a King who cares onely for the good of others, who shall have care of his? What? thou wouldst have us to destroy our selves, and that wee should doe upon our owne persons, all the harme which we could receive of our enemies? Rascals, write night and day as much as you please, but doe not goe about to speake undesired, of a profession which you under­stand not. How could wee be Soveraigne Lords, unlesse we were Masters and Possessors of the goods of others, & be absolute if we submitted unto your Advices and Counsells, yee who are but [Page 44]our Vassalls? Can wee have a su­preme power, and cannot re­venge our offences, satisfie unto our Covetousnesse, nor content our depraved spirits? and having a minde to fulfill our passions, would it be fit to make choice of Vertuous people to represse the Wicked? No, No, wee have more need of those who are agreeing unto our Wills, then of the others: and to speake the truth; you are very much void of common sence, to thinke that we can recompence, the Merit and Vertue of honest people, since they are our owne Accusers. 'Tis much more profitable to draw unto us the Deceavers, Perfidious and Wicked, by meanes of Digni­ties, and Consulats; for our Sanctu­ary is in their Outrages, our qua­lity in their imitation; and our excuses, in their extravagances. And why then, old Bocus Bar­bus, do you not write the truth? [Page 45]Learne, learne that Butchers fat­ten their sheep for nought else but to kill them, and that the Sur­geon do's not stop the veines, when he would let blood.

Remaine then henceforth in a perpetuall silence, and let this Orator speake,Photinus. who teacheth us a manner of Government much more favourable then yours: Come forth Photinus, and cause your selfe to bee understood. Thereupon appeared a certaine Impudent fellow, of an ill favo­red countenance, who seemed onely to be fit, to perswade wic­kednesse, who opening his foule mouth, and with a fearefull hou­ling, vomited forth the venome of these Words.

Wicked perswasions from one of Ptolomy his Cour­tiers,Ptolomaeus. to induce him to cause Pompey to be slaine:Pompey. taken out of Lucan, Lucan. in the 8 Booke of his Pharsalia.

Many Great Princes as thou art, Ptolomey, have often repented, to have beene too religious in the observation of Iustice and equity The afflicted, which they have assisted, and the seruple which they have made to violate faith, have often hindred them from extending the limit of their Empire, and increa­sing the splendor of their Crownes. No, No, Ptolomy, you must resolve. 'Tis at this time, that you must yield unto the Destiny, and sticke to the will of the Gods, forsaking boldly, those whom they please to persecute, [Page 47]and dispose thy selfe to take party with those whom they favour. Ther's asmuch distance betwixt Heaven and Earth, and difference betwixt fire and water, as betweene the vse­full and the equitable. Insomuch, that when a Prince will keepe himselfe within the bounds of honesty and ci­vility, he conspires against himselfe; he destroyes the greatnesse of his Em­pire, and disperses his Armyes: Con­trariwise, the liberty of doing ill, and the license of trespasses fortifies, strengthens and maintaines the most odious Raigne: And though there were impiety in this action, who can bring thee in question? An other, who should be below thee, might very well feare some punishment: but thou art above the lawes, and thou canst doe all things absolutely. Then deferre no longer; or else, He that will exer­cise piety, let him leave the Court.

As these detestable words were ending, Domitian appeared,Drmitian his revenge upon Sueto­nius. who came in choller, and drag­ging [Page 48]after him poore Suetonius Tranquillus, saying: Amongst all these Historiographers and Chro­niclers, there are none worse, nor more dangerous, then those who after the death of Emperours dis­honor their reputation, according to the fancy of their wits. These cursed Writers, cannot let Princes be in quiet during their life, nor yet after their death, for they cause them to revive in their Hi­stories to trouble them afresh, as this rash fellow doth towards me, who speakes of mee in these tearmes.

His Treasure (sayes he) having beene exhausted, by reason of the ex­cessive expences which hee had made in building of Edifices, causing Playes to be represented, and in augmen­ting the Souldiers pay.

But I pray, in what can a Prince better imploy his Treasure, then in making of sumptuous buil­dings, in recreating of himselfe, [Page 49]and in recompencing the War­riers.

Hee endeavoured, (said he) to raise himselfe againe, from the ex­pences which were made in the main­tenance and entertainement of the Men of Warre, to lessen the number: But confidering that it was to give way unto strangers to play him some affront, he made no scruple to ransack and pillage all manner of wayes, the goods of the living and of the dead also, which were confiscate, upon the report of the least accuser: and to undoe a man, there needed nought else, but to goe and say that he had spoken ill of the Prince.

Is it thus that one ought to speake of Princes? what can he say worse of theeves and robbers? Is it not a brazen-fac'd impu­dence to use the same tearmes for the Scepters of Kings, as for Theeves stealing hookes, and to compare them alike?

He tooke possession (sayes he a­gaine) [Page 50] of those inheritances where he had neither right nor pretext of succession, as soone as there was a False witnesse found, who would say, that hee had heard the deceased (to whom Domitian had tyrannically ravished the goods) say before his death that Caesar was his Heire. Be­sides hee had imposed an excessive Tribute upon the Jewes, and there were some who fained they were none to free themselves from 't: And to that purpose, I remember that being yet a yong Youth, I was present when an Old man of fourescore and ten yeeres old, who was thought to be a Jew, was visited by the Emperours Deputy; also before a great assembly of Counsellors, to see whether he was circumcised yea or no.

What thinke you, Infernall Gentlemen, is not that an insup­portable injury? How can I helpe the faults and excesses of my inferiour Officers? For my part, I wonder that the Princes my suc­cessors [Page 51]doe suffer those scanda­lous writings to be publish'd to my dishonour, I who have spent so much money in the reestabli­shing of the Libraries which had beene burnt.

As he uttered this word,Suetonius his Com­plaint. Sueto­nius said with a dying voyce: It is true, that was a recommendable action, and therefore I have not forgotten to make mention thereof. But what canst thou re­ply, if I accuse thee to have writ­ten in a letter (which contained a certaine command) these words, witnesses of thy pride and im­piety: Your Lord, and your God commands it thus. And if I have said the truth in my writings, whereof doest thou complaine? How have I spoken of the Divine Augustus, of Great Iulius Caesar, and of Trajan? What Heroicall actions have they done, which I have not published? But for thee, and thy semblable who are crow­ned [Page 52]plagues, what fault have I committed putting before your eyes your tyrannies which causes horror unto men and all the earth?

This discourse of Suetonius was interrupted by the Secret Accuser and Kindler of Dissentions, Accusation against the Merchants evill Angel. who addressing himselfe to Luci­fer, shewing him a Divell with his finger: That Divell, said he, comes but now from the World, and 'tis twenty yeeres since you sent him thither. Presently Lucifer commanded that he should come neere: he came frowardly, and presented himselfe to his Prince. How (did hee aske) hast thou been so bold to stay so long with­out comming to give an account of thy actions? Well, thou art come, but thou hast not brought along with thee, not so much as one poore wicked soule, nor no manner of newes from the other World. My Prince, an­swered [Page 53]the Divell, doe not cen­sure me, (if you please) before you have heard me: whosoever condemnes before he heares the party, might by chance doe ju­stice, but it would not be just. Your Divelship may be pleased to remember that you gave mee a Merchant in keeping,A Merchant neere unto whom I have imployed the time whereof you asked me an ac­count, that is to say, I have beene ten yeeres to cause him to com­mit the Thefts, and ten other yeeres to hinder the Restitution. See a little the Diabolicall ex­cuse which hee hath found, said Lucifer! Hell now a daies is not worth any thing, all is here cor­rupted, 'tis not now what it was wont to be, and the Divels are not now worth a rush. Then turning towards his Vassall: Alas poore idiot! was it needfull to stay so long neere a Merchant to make him steale, and afterwards [Page 54]to hinder him to restore? thou art an ignorant, thou dost not yet perfectly understand the Art of Divellishnesse. And then cal­ling one of his Officers: Carry a­way, said he, this Divell, and put him in his apprentiship to learne his Trade: I see hee is a Knave, and that hee tels mee but a Tale: doubtlesse hee hired himselfe to the Comedians to bee an Actor in their Playes: 'twas there that he was occupied.

At that time there came from the side of a little hillocke,Fathers without Children. Men who ran after Women: They cried out, helpe, helpe, succour us, and the men; stop, stop, take them. Lucifer commanded that they should all be seased on. What's the matter amongst you, said he? and one of those men, who was almost out of breath, answered him: Wee are the Fa­thers without Children, and these Carrions. Speake more [Page 55]civilly and truly, said then a Devill unto him, who as one may presume was protector of the re­spect due unto those Dames: he had reason touching the truth, for it could not be possible that they should be Fathers without Children. It is true, said that man, that wee are all Fathers, as having had Children who called us so; wee were married, and men of honour and wealth: and though we had beene absent a long time, and had great sicknesses which hindred us from child-getting; though wee were de frigidis & maleficiatis, or else that being neere them, wee did nothing but sleepe, neverthelesse they brought us forth Children every yeere, which wee were bound to nourish, beleeving charitably that they were of our propaga­tion, for one poore imbrace, which it may be we had once all the yeere long; and in this opi­nion, [Page 56]we have ingaged our Soules in a thousand Rapines, Robbe­ries, Vsuries and Thefts, for to leave them many goods: and now that the mothers are dead, we have learned that those Chil­dren were forged by our servants and friends; and also some of them have conceaved by the eares, as stoates do.

Thereupon came a little Hus­band a Spaniard by Nation, who seemed to be an end of a man, who spake like a dog that yeopes: and approching neere the com­pany he began to cry out: Oh in­famous Woman! thou art heere, 'tis now that thou shalt deprive me of this Title of Father having not deserved it, and yet to the Sonne of my Moore: I protest unto thee, that thou shalt presently re­stitute unto me the Title of legi­timate which I have given him. Alas! I alwayes mistrusted some­thing, but I would never have [Page 57]thought that this disloyall wo­man had committed such Blacke sinnes, there being so many faire yong men about us. I did almost attribute the fault unto certaine Monckes, (whereof I am sorry with all my heart) because this wicked woman to abuse me, went almost every day in their Covent, saying it was to confesse her selfe: and I who tooke no delight in this excessive mortifi­cation, I (in confidence) com­plained unto the same Moore: I do not know, (would I say unto him) where thy Mistris gets all those sinnes which she goes dayly and hourely to confesse in that Co­vent: and the Ribald Moore, with an Oh God Sir! what do you say! I ingage with all my heart my soule with hers. Alas! 'tis a Lady which doth butNote, that Pies in French sig­nifies both pious and Meg-pies. pious workes. I was then such an Innocent, that I tooke this answer for a praise and excuse in favour of my Wife: [Page 58]But I have perceaved since, that it was a true confession of their joint trespasse, for it was true that he ingaged his soule with hers, and begat pies together, because hee was blacke, and she was white.

Truely 'twould bee very fine, said, (after him) all the adopted Fathers, that a man should passe all his life time, sometimes suffe­ring all the discommodities that a Woman with child gives to all those that are about her, some­times waiting upon her being in Child-bed, enduring the impor­tunate cries of a child, the fadles of a nurse which must bee flatte­red, cogged withall, well nou­rished, well lodged, and well payd. And though we see well enough, that those children re­semble us not, for all that, wee avow them to bee ours, and to heare their adulterous Mothers say; Verily it needs not to bee [Page 59]asked who is the Father, he hath all the lineaments of his face: he laughs and weepes as he doth: & besides all these troubles, suffered patiently, to see us at this present in Hell both Damned and Cuc­kolds altogether: 'tis too much, it must not be so.

Then a great rumor was heard in a very deep Dungeon, betwixt the Ghosts and the Devils. The Visite made a stand, to know whence that proceeded. 'Twas seene that they were the Presump­tuous, Revengefull, and Envious, Presumptu­ous, Reveng­full and Envious. who kil'd themselves with crying out. Some said, Oh, if I could be borne againe! Others, Oh if it was permitted unto me to returne in the World! Oh if one died twice! And on the other side, the Devils be­sotted and wearied with these importunate Exclamations, said unto them: Yee Infamous De­ceavers, will you never leave these impertinent and unusefull [Page 60]wishes? You are Cheaters: for though you could be borne and live againe, not onely once, but a thousand times, It is most cer­taine that you should yet die more wicked, and then it would be impossible for us to drive you hence with bastonadoes. Never­thelesse to the end you should make a tryall of the truth of our words, and that you should ac­knowledge who you are, You have a grant to revive and re­turne againe into the World: Up then Rascals, goe, be borne againe, returne backe, returne. The Divels saying this, yerkt those poore Soules with their Whips, and thrusted them to cause them to goe out: but rather then to consent unto their deliverance, as soone as they heard these words: Ʋp, be borne, and live a­gaine, they were taken with such a great feare, that they remained still, and buried themselves in a profound silence.

There was one of the compa­ny, who seemed to have a more reaching wit, and to be more re­solute then the rest: which began very gravely to say by way of deliberation whether hee should goe out of Hell, or no.

If I am begotten a Bastard, Miseries of the Infancy. I shall bee despifed and scorned of all, by reason of my Fathers and Mothers sinne: If I shall bee law­fully begotten, then I am sure the Marriage-makers will play their part, with a thousand fables, de­vices, and false tales, with other things incident unto Marriage, as many secret imperfections and infirmities of the one or both the parties. At my very birth I shall begin to weepe, at the Miseries of Mans life: I shall live, not knowing what it is to live, I shall begin to die, before I have learned what Death is: I shall bee envelopped with Swadling­cloathes and blankets, which re­presents [Page 62]the being wrap't up in a Winding Sheet, and the Cradle, the Sepulcher: I shall suck the brests of some unholsome Nurse, which it may be will stifle me in her sleepe, which it may be will leave me a long time in my filth, who will pinne a pin about me that will pricke me a whole day, my Teeth will breake forth, I shall have the Frets in my belly, by reason of the ill substance wherewith my Nurses disorderly life will feed mine. Insomuch, that to the end I may shunne all those Miseries, I had rather re­maine in Hell for ever. And if by chance, I survive this Age of In­fancy, and that I scape the Small Pox and Purples, and that I come to bee sent to Schoole, I shall be subject to catch the Itch, it may be a Scauld Head, and Kibes at my Heeles: if it bee in Winter; I shall have a Limbecke Nose distilling Snivell and Snot: I [Page 63]must learne my lesson, upon paine of the Rod: If I goe late to Schoole, the Buttockes shall pay for the sloth of the Feet. Cursed then be he, who will long, to be borne againe. Againe if I come to Youth, I shall be insnared,Miseries of Youth. in the inticings of Womens Lux­ury, they will set Traps every where to catch me, and by a thou­sand severall Charmes flatteries and Lasciviousnesse in their ha­bits and behaviour they will ob­lige me to satisfie unto their Lustfull Appetites. For my part, I am no more of the Humor to take the garb of a Courteous and Neat Adonis: I will not suffer againe the Shoomakers Torture,Adonis. which causes Cornes to come in ones Feet; I will Iron my haires and Beard no more, nor change my Swan-like colour into that of a Crow: I will no longer admire my selfe in my Shaddow, nor go any more to play with the Balls, [Page 64]of mine Eies in assemblyes, pro­faning often sacred places, to see which of them hath the Fairest Lookes: I will not go againe to warme the Ayre of the Night, with my Inflamed Sighs, nor to be an ominous bird, to be com­panion unto Bats and Owles: that Passion hath left me, which made me make the Zani in the corner of a streete, and the round about a Mistresses lodging, to adore her imperfections, make chaines with a fillet of her Haire, or to give all my Goods for one of her Shoostrings Oh cursed and more then cursed is he, that would be­gin againe, to lead such an un­happy life. Then seing my selfe a Man, Miseries of Manly age. to be overwhelmed with Cares, and severall troubles, of Proces and quarrells, if I have goods: If I am Poore, with sor­rowes of my misfortune, betwixt repentance and experience; be­ginning to have a feeling of the [Page 65]fore-runners of diseases, which Youth had purchased by little and little with its debaushes. Thus making my Noviciat to at­taine unto Old age and being arri­ved,Of Old age. to become Melancholy, Grimme, finding no object which can please, rayle against Yeeres and seeke out the Fountaine of Youth in Shops, and the Razors and Painting of a Barber; to say that Wrinckles, are signes and markes, brought into the World, or else that they are caused with too much laughter, disavowing my Yeeres before so many Wit­nesses, who depose against us, as the Weakning of strength, the Dimnesse of sight, and want of Teeth, the Gout, Megraines, Catarras, and the stone or Gra­vell. And besides, what paine can be compared to a Palsie of the members? and seeing my selfe as it were fall all to peeces, to say that I am Lustier and healthier [Page 66]then ever I was, that I could tra­vell better, that my legges are yonger, and a thousand other fooleries, which do cost deere unto those Old fooles, that sayes them. But all that is nothing, in respect of the discommodities which Love brings;Against Old people being in Love. when it takes hold of a man, which is strucken in yeeres, and principally, when hee sees himselfe imbark't to Court a Woman in concurrence of some Youthfull Rivall: Some­times to be constrained to blush, when they will call me their Old Sweet-heart, and will say; now the time is not as it was wont, and many other things as trouble­some to endure. And if perad­venture, Life holds out, to lead a man to Decrepitude, Miseries of man being decrepite. and that it fashions his head like the Picture of Death, that his Flesh be consumed and wasted away, and that there remaines nothing but a Loose and Wrinkled Skinne of [Page 67]the colour of dryed Wall-nuts; that hee goes with a staffe in his hand, stumbling against Sepul­chers as it were to desire them to make him Roome; that he be as a dreame, or like a moving Fan­tasma; that his Kidneyes and Bladder, bee converted into a Quarry: that hee becomes an As­trologue of Urines; that hee be espied by his Heires; that he be the Rent of Physitians, the Occu­pation of Surgeons; the Swal­lower and Paymaster of the Apo­thecaries Old Drugs, that hee be called Father, and sometimes Grandfather: No, no, one Hell is much better then two Wombes.

When I come likewise to con­sider the Happinesse,Miseries of life in gene­rall. Vertue and Conditions of Life: that to bee Rich, one must be a Thiefe; to be a Man of Honour, you must be a Flatterer, an Inventer of Subtilties, and Inquisitor of others Affaires: that if you Marry, you put your [Page 68]selfe in danger of being Horued: to be Valiant, be a Mutineer, Quar­relsome, Blasphemer: and amongst all that if you are Poore, none will know you: if you be Rich, you will know no body: if you die Yong, it will be said, you were Vnfortunate: if Old, that you were good for nothing, and that 'twas no great losse: If you are Devout, and that you frequent the Church, it will bee said you are an Hypo­crite: if you doe not, it will bee thought you are an Hereticke: if you are of a Ioviall disposition, you shall be held for a Bouffoune: if Sad, for Vnpleasing and Irkesome: if you are Curteous, you shall bee called a Catcher of Yong fooles: if Discourteous, Proud: Then Fare­well Worldly Life, and those who will begin it againe. I would not re-enter whence I came out, for all what the World esteemes most. How now Camarades, said he unto his Companions, now [Page 69]you have heard me, is there any one amongst you who hath a mind to returne into the World, and to retrograde his life as farre as his Mothers Belly? No, no, no, answered they all: Hell, Hell, rather then Ma Mam: Divels ra­ther then Mid-wives.

After that, was heard a Testa­tor, that is to say, a man who had made his Will, which was saying:One Repen­ting because he had made his Will. Am not I a cursed man, to be the Homicide of my selfe? if I had made no Testament, I should bee yet in perfect health. The most dangerous disease, after the Phy­sitian is the Will: many more have dyed, because they had made their Wils, then by reason of any other Disease. Yee Living, Li­ving (cried hee with an open throat) looke you make no Wills, and you shall live as long as Ra­vens. Unhappy that I am! I threw my selfe in the perill, putting my selfe in the hands of Physitians, [Page 70]and I have signed my Sentence of Death when I signed my Will. The Physitian forsooke me, when he prescribed unto me to put my affaires in order. And I being led with wisedome and devoti­on, began at the instant the pro­logue of my Will, in these words, IN NOMINE DOMINI, A­MEN, &c. then comming to part my goods, I spake these words: (Oh why did I not then become Dumbe!) Item, I make my Sonne my Generall Heire. I give unto my Wife such and such things of my moveables, &c. Item, to such a one my Servant, I give the summe of, &c. To such a one my Servant-Maid, such another summe. Item, to such a Gentleman my Intimate Friend, (to the end he may remem­ber mee) I bequeath all my Silver Plate. Item, if I die, it is my Will, that Liberty and Freedome be given unto Mustafa my Slave. Item, to Master Doctor such a one, a Physi­tian, [Page 71] I give my great Diamond, in consideration of the care and dili­gence whereof hee hath used, during my sicknesse. And from the very instant that I did set my hand to those Articles, the Earth, unto which I had bequeathed my Bo­dy, hungred after my Flesh, and asked for it to devoure it: and every one of those to whom I had given Legacies, and my Heires, tooke care whether I should die or no, and if the sicknesse would be long. After that, if I asked some Potion or Julep, my Heire at the same time demanded my Goods: my Wife likewise the Tapistry and other Moveables which I had given her: my Ser­vant, his Legacy: my Friend the Plate: & the Physitian, to recreate his sight upon my Diamond, de­manded to feele my pulse. If I asked him of what I should eate? Of all things, would hee say. If I made some Groane, my Sonne be­lieved [Page 72]that I was yielding up the Ghost, my Wife commanded, that the Hangings should be taken downe, and the rest of the Move ables put up: my Servant was importunat for his Legacy: my Friend ask't how much the silver Plate which I had given him was worth: the Slave would have his Freedome: & because nothing of all that, could be executed untill I was dead, it appeared, that even as I gave and dispersed my goods amongst them, even so I ordey­ned that they should all wish for my Death. And therefore, I pro­test, if I came to live againe, I would make a Will altogether dif­ferent, from the first. I would say, I ordeyne that whatsoever my Sonne shall eate of my Goods after my death, may be converted into Poison; that my Curse may light on his Head, and that all that which I leave against my will, (because I cannot carry it away) aswell unto him as unto [Page 73]the rest, that the Devill may take possession thereof: and carry it away if he can. That the Plague, Rage, or Despaire may choake my Wife. Item, if I dye, I ordeyne that my Slave my have so many stripes, with a stir­rop lether, three times a day: That my Wife may make herselfe party against my Physitian, accusing him to have beene cause of my Death: for I must avow that I am not in cha­rity whch that Wicked Fellow: because he hath not contented himselfe to have tormented me being in Health, and to have made an end of killing of me being sicke, he hath yet perse­cuted me after Death, even as he, and the most part of his pro­fession do, of those Poore Idiots, who abandon themselves unto them, to go so much the sooner in the other World. For when they have dispatched us, and that we are gone, they do accuse us of a thousand Imperfections: [Page 74] Gods Peace be with him, say they, his excese of Drinking hath kil­led him. How could we Cure him, he was so Disorderly in his diet? he was a Mad Man, he was a Foole, he would not obey the Physitian: It was a Rotten Body, Cacochyme, a Iakes of Infection: he lived so ill, that it was much better for him to dye; his houre was come. Oh Theeves, Oh Murtherers! 'tis you that is the Houre: for at the instant that you enter, in a sicke bodies chamber, one may very well say, that he shall dye, and that, His Houre is come. Cruell, is't not enough for you, to take away the life of a Man, and to cause your selves to be paid for his Death, as Hangmen do, but you must excuse your Ignorance, upon the dishonour and Infamy of the Poore Deceased? Oh yee living who creepe yet upon Earth, learne of me, how you ought to make your Wills: for if [Page 75]you will practise the method which I taught you just now, the Yong, will attaine unto Old age; and the Old, unto Decrepitude: you shall all dye Contented and full of dayes, and shall not be cut downe in the blossome of your Age, by the Doctorall Sithes of the Physitians.

This Deceased spake with so much vehemency, that Lucifer judged, he had spoken the Truth: but because all Truths are not good to bee said, and chiefely amongst Devils, who hate it Mor­tally: and fearing lest a greater disorder should happen, if the Physitians came to the hearing of those discourses, spokē by the de­ceased to their prejudice, Lucifer ordered that he should be gag'd.

Of necessity silence was made, to give eare unto the rumor of a Damned, which running like a fu­rious Franticke, came and passed through the company, crying [Page 76]out: Where am I? where am I? what's the meaning of this? I have beene cousined: There are Devills, who Tempt; others, who Damne, and others, who Torment: I have run­ned and visited all Hell, and yet I see not one of those Devills, who have brought me hither; where are my Devills? who hath robbed me of my Devills? let my Devills be restored unto me.

There was never such a stranger thing seene, to looke out for De­vills, in Hell, where they are in swarmes: and as he did run, like one out of his wits, the Doüegna tooke him by the arme, and stop't him. Oh unhappy Ghost! if thou wantest Devills heere, where dost thou meane to go and looke them? He opened his eyes, and knowing her who stayed him: Oh Ensigne of Belzebub, Figure of Sathan,An Inve­ctive of one of the Dam­ned against a Doüegna. Mediatrix for the Damned, Assembler of diverse Sexes, Heaper up of Vices, the [Page 77]Sinners Guide, Seasoner and Temperer of Delights and Plea­sures; Whoredomes Harbinger, the Spend-thrifts Prologue, the Interpreter and Mediator for the Luxurious, where hast thou left the he and she Devills, who have brought me hither? for, I am nei­ther such a Sot nor Idiot, that I will be cheated, and carried a­way by these Divels who have tayles, and hornes like Oxen: who are as smoakie as Pot-hangers, who have Swines dugs, and Bats wings. Those that I looke for, are far more wicked; they are those Mothers, which wound men with their Daughters, lanching them forth as venomed darts; those Aunts, which cause their Neeces to flie up and downe, as sparkles of fire; those Subtile and Guile­full Lasses, who pieerce with their Eyes, which they hold as steddy as a Cavalleere doth his Lance; those Flatterers, who perpetually [Page 78]say, yes, to all which is desired of them; those Sowers of Quarrels and Dissentions, who are the Wormes, which Gnawes the Rest and Quiet of others: those Traders in Lyes, who report that which they have not heard, affirme that which they know not, and sweare that which they believe not. Those Slanderers, which are the carrion Crowes of the Honour and Credit, who fall and feede onely on dead flesh.Hypocrites. Those Hy­pocrites, who make Profit of Mor­tification, as of a Rent; who seeme to be in an Extasis, when they are Glutted; who publish their Lies, for Revelations; who make Pulpits, of Tables, and Banquetts; Desarts, of Companyes; Miracles, of Ordinary things, who Divine all things, after they have beene told them; who raise the Living from the Dead, who counterfeit to be sick, when they should worke, and who give people unto the Devill with [Page 79]a Doe grtias. Those were the Devills which were cause of my Damnation: and thou shalt re­store them unto me, and finde them out, thou cursed Old Wo­man, for they are all hidden un­der thy Garment.

Thereupon, he takes hold on her: there was much adoe, to se­parate them one from the other. This Desperate Fellow pulled & dragged a long, the poore Doüeg­na; insomuch that hee tore the vayle, wherein she was wrapt up: but Lucifer made them hold their peace with his absolute Power.

That done, a great noise of Hinges and Gates not well oiled, was heard, with a strange rumor of a great multitude of people:Old Women painted. the first which appeared were Old Women Painted Presumptuous and Bablers, who counterfeited to be joviall and frolicke: they laughed and fooled together, [Page 80]shewing that they were not dis­contented. The Secret accuser dis­liking their carriage, fayled not but accused them presently, in that their mirth accompanied them even in Hell, which was reputed to be a very Criminall trespasse. At the instant they were questioned why they were so merry, seeing they were of the number of the Damned, who have for their portion nothing but Weeping and gnashing of Teeth: And then one of the company, which resembled Death, moun­ted upon Pattins of halfe an Ell high, according to the fashion of the little Ladies and Dames of this age, who speaking in the name of all the rest, advanced her selfe saying: Lord Lucifer; comming hither, we were very sad and me­lancholy, as much as Old damned Women may bee, and so Old and worne out, that there is nought else remaining on us, but the [Page 81]Markes and the Excrement of yeeres, over the Bones: but as we saw this inscription, which is upon the Gate of this Habitati­on: Here is the abode where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, wee have all beene comforted, think­ing that if there was no other torments to suffer, we should be quit at an easie rate, seeing that we are so dry, that there is no moisture in us, which can pro­duce any teares; and besides, that we are all toothlesse. There may be yet some moisture in your Eyes, and some Stumps in your mouthes, said the Flatterer: there­fore your Jolity may bee vaine, and of little durance. They were visited and found so dry that they were put in Hells Tinder­boxes, to serve for Tinder and Matches.

After them,Pernicious obstinate. arrived many people of all Conditions, Qua­lities and Offices, who began to [Page 82]cry out: Gentlemen, Gentlemen said they unto the first which they perceived: which of you is it, who keepes the Register of Recompences? shew him unto us, before we come in, any fur­ther. Why said then one of the company, I thought wee had beene in Hell: but since there are here Recompences to be hoped for, I see that wee are not there. Good, good, good, answered all the multitude. A short Ioy, a short Ioy, replies the Flatterer. Good Hell, Good Hell, therefore 'tis to no end to thinke that there are here Re­gisters kept, for Recompences, where liberality consists, nought but in Paines, and Torments. Neverthelesse, wee hoped for them very much, said hee who had spoken first. How could that bee? said the Flatterer: I will tell you, said the other: Cer­taine people, being informed of our Thesis, moved with Charity, [Page 83]have often endeavoured by Holy Remonstrances to make us alter the course of our Life: but be­ing Naturallized unto it, we an­swered them with these reasons: What can wee doe lesse? Should wee stay, that those things, which every one keepes so carefully, should bee brought unto us? And how would you have a Vagabond live, who hath neither Master, nor Office, and who loves to passe away his time, with Curtezans, at Play, and Tavernes, if he had not some subtile industry? And then hee that gave us those wholsome Counsels, seeing our Obstinacy, told us; The recompence then, will be given you in the other World.

As also, when any one of us, Courted a Friends Wife, abusing of his Confidence, and Dishono­ring his House; and, if any shew­ed them, the Enormity and Base­nesse of their fact, they excused themselves thus, What will you [Page 84]have us doe? shall we rather goe into houses, where wee are watched with a Poignard behind a doore, or with a Pistoll, then in those, where the Entry is so Free & easie, where I am invited and feasted, and where I am trusted: and then, the party who rebuked us, seeing our hardnesse of Heart, left us with these words: The recompence thereof, shall be given you in the other World. And because we thought, wee had beene arri­ved in that other World, we aske for those recompences, which the Vertuous have promised un­to us.

Abominable Rascals, said then an Officer of the Soveraigne Iustice, how many wicked men are there amongst you, who have often abandoned their house and fa­mily, to the discommodities of want and necessity, and to spend and bring to naught, all their goods, to debaush and corrupt Chastity, and to commit a thou­sand [Page 85]Whoredomes and Adulte­ries, and when they were admo­nished, to take compassion of their Wives and Children, they insolently answered: Wee have recommended them unto God, who will have care of them; aswell as of Yong Ravens and other Birds. And Infamous Villaines, were not you then told; that you should re­ceive the recompence in the other World? 'Tis at this time, and in this place, that you shall receive Your Recompence. Up Cursed, come in, 'tis time. Saying that, a multi­tude of Divels, tooke Firebrands, and began to give them the Re­compence promised & hoped for; which was, a liberall & ample dis­tribution of Blowes: and whilst they complained, vomiting forth horrible oathes, a voyce was heard, which said: The Recom­pence shall be given you in the other World.

After this tempest, many Evill [Page 86]Spirits were seene to approach, together with Serjeants, Baylifs and Petti-foggers who hauled and dragged, bound hand and foot, the Thiefs Evill Angell, Accusation against the Thieses evill Angell. accusing him of a trepasse, very Criminall. The Lucifer, with a fell and cru­ell looke, sitting himselfe in a Chaire, of flaming fire: with all his Officers about him: at the in­stant a Reporter, (that's to say, he that hath the Office of rehearsing and informing of a businesse) be­gan to say: Prince Lucifer, her's a Devill which wee bring unto you, accused to be ignorant, in the exercise of Devillishnes; it is a shame, that he should be honou­red, with the Title and Quality of Devill, for, he trades in a Fun­ction, contrary to his Profession, seeing, that all his worke, tends to no other end, but to cause men to be saved. All the Tribunall started, at this word, SAVE, as being, awfull in that place: they [Page 87]did all bite their lippes, to the very bloud, testifying the horror they had thereof: and then the Supreme Cursed, turning towards his Attorney Generall; Is it possible, said he, that amongst my Ʋassalls there should be such a perfidious Traitor? Lord Lucifer, answered the Patriarch, It is true that this Devill hath no other profession, then to induce men, to steale and robbe their Neighbour: when they are discovered, they are im­prisoned, and then hanged: but before they are led, to the exe­cution, they are instructed admo­nished and exhorted unto Re­pentance, and by that meanes, they are saved; and, your Devill, who is none of the craftiest in the World, thinking to have gai­ned those Soules, when he hath caused them, to commit those Crimes, he leaves them, whereas he should tempt them to fall in Despaire, and kill themselves in­somuch, [Page 88]that being in the hands of a good Confessour he makes them have an earnest remorce, in their consciences, of their of­fences, and by that meanes they save themselves against your De­vills beliefe, who hath not yet perceaved, that one may go to Heaven by the Gallowes or Flames. Thus your torments, have beene frustrate of their due, which ought to have befallen unto them: There needs no other accusation against him, but that, said the President: And the poore Devil seeing that his sentence was going to be given, began to cry out: My Lord, hearken unto me; for though it is said that the Di­vell is Deafe, that's not to be un­derstood, of your Greatnesse. Every one was silent, and he said: My Lord, The Divels Instification I grant you, that most of those who are hanged do scape me: but, if you will make an esti­mate, of those which I cause to [Page 89]be damned, condemning others: I am sure, I shall be found quit, on that side: how many Officers, of all sorts do I send you? whom I cause, to take Bribes, to let some of them loose; how many False Witnesses do I send you, who de­pose, according to the rate, of the money which is given them? How many Clarkes, who give unto a Proces, What forme the interessed desire, so that they have wherewith to pay, for the making: How many Iailors gives the flight, unto the Pigeons of their Dove-house, in case they fill their purse? and how many Attorneys, who neglect or for­ward th [...] proceedings, according to the stipend, which is given them? And amongst all these Bri­beries and Pillage if it happens, that they cause Iustice to be made of some Thiefe, it is not to de­stroy Theeves, but to the end, there should be no others, then they, [Page 90]and that, they should remayne alone, in the CommonWealth: In­somuch, that when they punish a Theft, they do often commit many others, which are worse then the Theeve's, whom they send to the Gallowes: for they are not inquired after: and though they were, they know the neces­sary Cavillations and Crafts, to take away the knowledge there­of: so that all being well wayed & considered, it happens, as unto him, who to drive the Rats, out of his House, brought in, Cats: for if the Rats, did gnaw some peece of Bread, some rine of Bacon, some Candles ends, or Parchmin; the Cats doe overthrow, to day, his Pot, to morrow eate his supper, then his Partridges, so that at last, he is constrained to wish for his Rats, and detest his Cats.

I have made use of that craft: I willingly trucke, one Thiefe, for two hundred, who Hang him; and [Page 91]to three thousand Old Witches, who go to the Gallowes, to looke out, for some Ropes ends, and great Teeth, to worke some mis­chiefe. But whatsoever I doe for the advancement of your Empire, I am very ill recompenced: therefore I desire to rest my selfe, and I beseech you; to give my place to another: as for my part, I intend to spend the rest of my old age, by a Pretender.

He had all the content which he could desire, and a strict in­hibition and defence unto the Evill Spirits, who had abused him, to take heed that they should not mistake in time to come, upon paine of Corporall and Spirituall punishment. Ne­verthelesse, he was intreated not to resigne yet, his Office, consi­dering, that he was of reasonable yeeres, to execute it, and to do good Service therein, besides, that to wait upon a Pretender, [Page 92]'twas an insupportable trouble & labour, and not an ease. I will do all what you please, said he: but I believe that with a Pretender, a Devill, remaines his legs & armes crosse, & his eares open, learning Devillishnesse of him: I imagine that there will be but passe-time and recreation for me; 'twill be, as if I went to the Devills schoole: for those kind of people teach the Devills Alphabet; by that meanes, ther's nothing to bee done about them, but to learne & to be Silent.

Thereupon,The Tobaccos Evill Angel. the Tobacco's Evill Angell arrived: I was much asto­nished with that Ʋision: I had al­wayes imagined, that it was a De­vill, who possess'd many, but I did not alltogether beleeve it. I have, said he, avenged the Indies, of the outrages, which the Spaniards had done there, for I have done more harme unto the Spaniards by introducting Tobacco amongst them, then the King of Spaine [Page 93]did unto the Indians, when he sent them Colon Cortes, Alemyro and Pizarro; because 'tis farre more Glorious, to die amongst Shot, Swords, and Lances, then amongst the Snot, Sneezings, Bel­ching, Giddinesse, and some­times, the contagious Purples, which the stinking use of Tobacco ingenders. These takers of To­bacco, meerely resemble the Pos­sessed; when they are exercised, there goes forth from them Va­pors and Foames, at least as in­fections: but they alwaies re­maine Possessed with the Evill Spirit: for they are Idolators of this Tobacco, they make a Deity of it, which ravishes them, in an Extasis, they praise and extoll it, above all things, they tempt and persecute every one, to make them use it: If they take it in Smoake, they make in this World their Novitiat for Hell, where they must be hardned, to endure [Page 94]Smoke: and if they take it in Snuffe, by their Nostrils, they ac­custome themselves, unto the discommodities of Old age, whose Noses are alwaies Snotty and Dropping, and Flegmes in their mouthes.

After this,The Subor­ners Evill Angell. came the Divell of Subornation: hee was Faire and well proportioned; whereat I was much astonied, having yet seene no Divels, except hee, but such as were fearefully Ugly: his visage was so familiar, that I thought I had seene him, in a thousand other places, sometimes Vaild, and sometimes his Face Uncovered, sometimes calling himselfe, Childrens Play, and sometimes, Courtship: some­times, tooke the name ofIt also sig­nisies, gift. Don, and of Present, and sometimes, of Almes, here, of Payment, and there of Restitution, however, I never saw him called by his owne name. I also remember, [Page 95]to have seene him named, Inheri­tance, Profit, Good cheape, Retrimo­ny, Reward and Nothing: as also to have knowne him in some o­ther place, Doctor, and in another Licentiat; amongst all Women, he was a Batchellor; amongst the Attorneyes, Clarkes and Advocates, he was reputed and called, Law and Equity.

This Divell was well accom­panied;The Evill Angell of Consequence. he pretended to the Ti­tle of Satans Lientenant. But the Divell of the Consequence opposed himselfe mightily to his designe, saying: I am the Imbroiler, the State Politicke, and he that Coggs Princes, the Pretext of the Un­worthy, and the excuse of Ty­rants: I am an excellent Dyer, of evill actions; I give them what colour one will: Besides, my strength is able to turne all the World upside down, and to put it in a generall Confusion: I banish Reason; I convert the Impor­tunity, [Page 96]into Merit; the example, in necessity. I can give a forme of Law unto Successes, Authority to Infamy; and Credit to Insolence: I can Shut, and sometimes Open the mouth unto Counsellors ac­cording to my minde: In a word, I do that, which amongst others, is esteemed, Impossible: and as long as I shall bee in the World, there will be nothing to be fea­red, of Vertue, Iustice, nor of good Government. And also this Devill of Subornation, who pretends to the Lieutenancy, what had he done without me? If I did not put a vayle upon his face, how could he thrust himselfe in Magnificent Companies, as he doth? let him learne then to know himselfe, and to hold his peace, and let him not dispute with me the quality of Lucifers Lieutenant, which ought to bee granted unto me.

And I, said another quarel­some [Page 97] Spirit, I am one of those,The Cuc­kolds Evill Angell. who most humbly hide them­selves, behind a Doore, who con­tents himselfe with toyes and fopperies, a hundred to a pound: in fine I am a Laconick Devill, and with few words, I have but foure words to speake, and then let him come next who will. I say then, that I am a Devill Interpreter, and the exercise which I doe in the World, is that I persuade Cuckolds that it is an Honor, and a meanes to be knowen in the World, and that there are many who should not be knowen, if their subtile Wives, did not pur­chase that quality unto them. As also, I cause a certaine Comeli­nesse, and Charming Handsome­nesse amongst Women, thereby alwaies to have a friend, to make vse of, in case of necessity: and cause all those, who want such dexterity, to be reputed as Silly, Sottish and to be despised; and [Page 98]amongst other things, wherein I meddle, I can cunningly convert the Theft, in an Office, and the Officers in Theeves. That being said, the Devill was silent.

There was a little moment of silence; then another Devill was heard who said: I am one of the least, of the Diabolicall Nation: but yet, open the gate, for, I do not come, empty handed, as the rest. What dost thou bring? said then the Secret Accuser comming neere him: a Pratler and a Flatte­rer, which are Peeces of Cabinet, for Kings: and for that reason I bring them, unto ours. Lucifer did cast his eyes upon them: and at the same instant, made a face as grimme and sower, as if he had bitten a greene Crab, then he said: Although as thou sayest, they are Peeces for a King, I do not love that Present.

After that another Yong Devill appeared, saying: My Prince, it is [Page 99]six yeeres since, that I am after a Base Fellow, worth nothing, and so little worth, that I do not know, how I could overcome him: for with being so Infamous, he is good for nothing, neither for Good, nor Evill. Thou art much troubled, said the Douegna, why did'st thou not make him worth some thing, and then to have plac't him in Offices and Dignities, thou hadst presently insnared him.

In the meane time,The Luxu­rious Evill Angell. the Secret Accuser who went every where, in the forme of a ducke, searching out the faults of others, pass't by a Corner, where he found a great fagot of Old Devills all Moldy, Musty, and full of Cob-webs: he came presently to give notice; presently they were unbound, to be ayred: 'twas very troublesome to wake them; then they were ask't what Devills they were, what they meddled with, and [Page 100]why they did not intend their Vocation. They answered ga­ping, they were the Devills for the Luxurious, but that since women had found Gold, more pleasing and to be cherished, then their Chastity, the Luxurious needed no Diabolicall Inspirations nor sub­tleties, to perswade them, to yield unto their desires, seeing, that the glistering brightnesse of Gold, did so dazle their sight, that it made them fall backward. That Gold supplied to all the defects and imperfections of Lo­vers, and that the Temptation of a bagge, hath more efficacy, then a thousand Devills al together, be­cause a Woman or a Maid, will rather fall under a Don in Spanish is the appositi­on to a Knight, as in English Sir. In French it signifies Gift The Nuns Evill Angell. Don, then under a Temptation, though it should be called Lordship, and un­der a, Take this, then under a Million of Faire Words.

Next, was heard a Devill who snored: and but for that, they had [Page 101]trodden upon him; but his owne noise, discovered him. He was taken, and ask't, why he slept thus, a Cuckolds sleepe: It is three dayes since, said he, that I sleepe as you see, because I have nothing to do: I have liberty, I am the Nuns Devill: My Ladyes are now busie, to elect an Abbesse: and when they are busied in that occupati­on, I may play and take my rest at ease, for, ther's not one at that time, but is a very Devill. They make Parties, Bribe, they flatter this, and perswade the other: to be short, there's such a Confusion amongst them, that my presence would but disturbe them: Also, those Ambitious Ladies, make it a point of honor at that time, to have it seene, that they are more crafty and more subtile then the Devills: and I give you notice, that if by chance it happened, that Disorder, Sedition, and Mutiny, came to be wanting here, and if [Page 102]Peace did hazard to enter; 'twere but to make here, an Assembly of Nunnes, to elect an Abbesse, you should see such a Dreadfull Dis­order, that wee should not know one another.

Lucifer found this advertife­ment very good: and caused it to be Inrolled, in his Registers: and to the end hee might remedy all things, and also take care for the increase of his Empire, he commanded that all the Commu­nalties and Cantons of his Nati­ons, should be assembled: and then in obedience of his Decree, there appeared almost an infinite multitude of Ʋnhappy Spirits. At the same time Lucifer opening a horrible and fearefull mouth roa­red out, these Gratious Words.

A DECREE OF LƲCIFER, [...] for Reformation

DESPERATE Legi­ons, People for ever condemned in the darknesse of my Em­pire, yea the Hire­lings of Sinne, unto whom Eternall Death is the payment: I let you know, that two Divels have preten­ded to the Dignity of my Lieute­nancy, and that I would not gratifie the one, nor the other thereof, con­sidering that amongst you is a She Divell, which merits it above all.

At these words, all the Assembly began to looke one upon another, and [Page 104]to discourse and murmure; Lucifer perceiving it: Doe not trouble your selves, said he, to guesse who it should be: Let Good Fortune come hither, which by another name is called, the She Divell Prosperity: and at the instant, She was seene to come from the reare of the company, who with a Proud and Scornefull looke made a stand, before the Degraded Angell, he having look'd on Her, spake after the same tone as he had begun. I Will, Ordaine, and Command, that yee honour and respect, next after me, the Lady Prosperity here present, as the most Great,Effects of Prosperity Superior, and Super­lative She Divell: Titles and Qua­lities, which I give Her, as due unto Her merit; because she alone, hath caused a hundred times more people, to be Damned, then all of you altoge­ther. Tis She which makes men, to forget God, and the affection to­wards their neighbour: tis She, that causes them, to establish their SVMMVM BONVM in Riches, [Page 105]who ingages and intangles them in Va­nity, which blinds them in the enjoying, which loades them with Treasures, and which buries them, in their Trespasses. In what Tragedy, hath She not played Her part? what Wisedome and Prudence could stand so firme upon its Legs, which She hath not caused to Stumble? what Folly doth not augment, taking accesse with Her? what good Counsels, doth She Receive? what Correction doth She Fearè, & which, doth She not Deserve? After Her, who finds out and furnishes matter, unto Scandals; experience, unto Histories, who Foments Cruelty unto Ty­rants, and who imbrewes Hangmen with Blood? How many Soules are there, who lived in the State of Innocence with Po­verty, w^ch cōming to receive the Favours of Prosperity, are become Wicked and Impious? Now then, Infernall Spirits, henceforth, let as much reverence be ren­dred unto Her, as unto my selfe, and know, that those Soules which main­taine themselves Humble, to the proofe of Prosperity, are none of your Game: [Page 106]and therefore you must not insist on them, for ther's nought else but time to be lost. Considering, that they of the World, who obtaine and possesse all what they desire, turne their backes presently unto God, and forget him so much, that they doe not remember his name. The Poore contrariwise,The Poore. hath alwaies God for the object of his Heart, and for Motto these words in his mouth: LORD, I HAVE NO HOPE BVT IN THEE: MY GOD REMEMBER ME: And therefore, said Lucifer, redoubling his cursed howlings: My Will and Pleasure is, that from this time forth it shall be published, throughout all the extent of our Estates and Dominions, that Ca­lamities, Troubles, and Persecution, are mortall Enemies unto Hell; seeing, they have beene acknowledged and noted to be of the contrary party, and to be inrol­led in Gods Warfare; and further, that they are effects of his Infinite Wisedome, and Gifts of his Almighty hand.

Item, to the end our Government should be reformed, I straightly will and [Page 107]command, that my Devils should al­waies be present in the Hearings and Tribunals of Magistrates discharging the said Devils, of the care of Preten­ders, Pleaders, Flatterers & Envious, seeing they know the way unto this Kingdome, and how to leade one ano­ther hither, better then the Devils can teach it them.

Item, that henceforth,Profit is a Divell. no Devill keep company with any other confident, but with him who is called Profit, conside­ring that hee is the Harbinger, which lodgeth Vice, most largely, in the strai­test Conscience.

Item, in whatsoever part a Divell be,Money one of the greatest Devils. excepting not any; we ordaine that whē Money shall arrive there, that he shall raise the siege, and with honour and re­verence, yield most humbly his place unto him, as acknowledging him a greater Divell then he, for that is most impor­tant, to the preservation of our Empire.

Item,Idlenesse the mother of Vice. we most straightly and expresly command unto all our Officers, to im­peach and hinder Warre, from all parts, [Page 108]asmuch as in them lies, because it exerci­ses, the Couragious; it doth recompense, the Vertuous; imploys, the Valiant; causes God to be remembred, and casheeres Jdlenes, which is our intimate Friend. And for the better effecting of this pre­sent Article, wee ordaine unto all our Devills, to establish a generall Peace, throughout all the World in case they can compasse it, because during its Raigne, all manner of debaushes, will have free liberty: Idlenesse, is put in practise: Luxury, is in fashion; Gluttony, is exercised; Detraction, is put in use, Lying, is established; Pandars are bu­sied, and Whores, imployed, in a word, all Vices increase, and Vertue declines.

Jtem,Touching the Luxu­rious. we henceforth, exempt and dispence our Lieutenants, of the paines which they were wont to take by intang­ling men, in the Lasciviousnesse and Vo­luptuousnesse of Women, because we know by experience, that there is no sinne, which is more trusty and faithfull unto us, then that, for as soone as Repentance his capitall enemy, hath, for some time, [Page 109]caused him to dislodge from any place, he is so affectionate for our service, that he re-enters there presently, when it takes a stronger roote then before.

Item,Touching certaine Merchants in consideration of the Exemp­tion aforesaid, and seeing, that there are Notable Merchants, in many Townes and Villages of the World, who charita­bly succour, many persons, and amongst the rest, the Youth of these times, com­monly called Debaush'd, which to borrow money, have recourse unto them: And the Merchants excusing themselves, saying, their Purses are empty; offers thē, some Wares out of their shops, which those that are in want, doe accept, with an intention to sell them againe, to sup­ply, to their excesse or necessities: and underhand those Merchants have con­fidents who acquaint themselves, with those who want; and goe along with them to the Merchant, which sells his Merchandises at an excessive rate, then, when they have sold it very cheape, and accommodated themselves, the Mer­chant hath his Wares againe, and thus, [Page 110]he obliges those who crave his assistance. In consideration whereof, wee ordaine, unto the most Vigilant of our Devils, to assist and remaine perpetually, as Factors in the service of those Merchants, see­ing, that in such a Negotiation, they need our helpe and industry.

Item, our Will and Intention is, that our said Devils, keepe a constant com­pany, unto our beloved Friends the Venerious, Revengeful, Envious, & Pretenders to Offices or Dignities, and above all the rest unto Hypocrites, con­sidering, that it is the Mediator for all things, the Charme of all the sences and powers of the Soule, who works so Curi­ously that its operations are Impercepti­ble unto the sences therefore it is admit­ted, Recompenced and Adored of many.

Item,Touching Reporters of Secrets. We ordaine that the Reporters of Secrets, and Sowers of Sedition may be carefully maintained, because it is one of our seeds, which fructifies most.

Item,Flatterers. We ordaine that Flatterers & Kindlers of Noises, Debates, Divorces, Quarells and Dissentions may serve in [Page 111]steed of Bellowes, and not of Fannes, to the end they may blow and inflame, and not tem­per and refresh.

Item,Inter-medlers of others affaires. that the Inter-meddlers of others affaires be the Lice of Hell, that they may eate to the very bloud, those who nourish and entertaine them.

Then Lucifer, with a sterne and grimme countenance and looking side-wise upon the Doüegna, said this Proverbe which is in use amongst the Spaniards; Düenas de se las Dios a quier las desca: God give the Doüegna unto whom will have her. I am much troubled, said he afterwards, what I shall do with them, I know not where to cast them. And then the Damned who saw that he disposed himself to raine a showre of Doü­egnas on them, cryed out all with one voice: Do we not suffer torments enough, without the addition of this? then every one said to himselfe; Oh cursed Lucifer, cast them where thou wilt, so it be not neere me, and as they uttered those words, they hid their heads one amongst the other, as Sheepe doe in the Fields during the scorching heat of the Sum­mer, for feare of this new torment where­of [Page 112] Lucifer threatned them. He, seeing the extreame terror wherein he had put them, contented himselfe with that; Then he said: Well then, looke that henceforth, my Lawes and ordinances may be punctually observed. Alias, I sweare by my Darknesse, and by the Obscurity of my Crowne, that, that Devil or Damned who shall infringe them, shal be condemned to the torment of Doüeg­na, that is to say, that there shall be one chained with him, any opposition or appelati­on whatsoever in any wise notwithstanding. And as for them, let them be presently lock'd up, by themselves in that Dungeon of Iakes, to make use of them, as we shall see cause that place and time shall require.

After this solemne Decree, Lucifer retired him­selfe within the gulfe of his eternall night; and the Assembly frighted, w^th this horrible threat, disbanded: every one went to exercise the fun­ction of his Office: all at once vanishd away, and at the instant an Angelicall voyce was heard, which uttered these words: Whosoever shall have the understanding to comprehend the Morality of this Discourse may reape a most advantageous profit for his Soule, and may say: SALVTEM EX INIMICIS NOSTRIS, ET DE MANV OMNIVM QVI ODERVNT NOS.